Question Your Reality and Logic Always.

Yesterday I learned something new about our pandemic….

 

Okay so it’s not really new.

But it was certainly made very aware to me multiple times in a few hours of my day and adventure with family.

 

As you know,

This whole thing has not set off my go-go attitude or adventure and experience for self and my family.

 

My children will not recall this crazy time in our history as a time when they were trapped in the house, unable to play or see loved one’s.

 

But instead they will look at it as another year that mom was sharing life with them,

ton’s of adventures, laughter, fun and growing.

They will look back and be able to recall chasing crabs at midnight on the beach after a late night under the stars BBQ.

They will look back and recall the horseback riding and firefly catching in the Ozarks as well as facing their fears of jumping off 20 foot cliffs into rivers of water.

They will recall the late night backyard fires and roasting marshmallows,

the many camp trips where they fished, hiked and told shadow stories at bedtime,

they will recall all the outside roller skating, bike riding, gardening and building.

They will think on laughter with family and friends,

ton’s of social activity,

birthdays abound with joy.

 

My children will not understand what quarantine is,

nor the depression or fear of this world at this time.

 

But, yesterday I was made aware of the truth yet again,

and this truth that keeps ringing,

supports my freedom based views and living.

 

Adventures to waterparks and rides,

from some of Texas’s biggest amusement parks,

back to back playing in one day to learn all about this new covid way.

 

The truth on healing covid was made aware to me as I placed my mask on all my family to enter a burger place for lunch in the amusement park,

We stood in line 4 to 6 feet from anyone else,

table all around us with people eating, drinking and chatting ( no masks on at tables because that was a covid safe space),

Just 4 feet from where I stand in line, mask on face.

I get my food from workers who wear masks under their noses and chins,

and walk outside to sit down to eat.

I had been told by park attendants left and right to keep my mask on myself and my small children,

they hammered strong words of YOU MUST WEAR YOUR MASK…

and I abided (for the most part, except for when my children looked like they were going to pass out),

 

but here we were eating lunch,

passer bys looked at us as we sat in the middle of everything MASK FREE eating for 30 minutes.

Fellow people consuming beverages and food sat anywhere from 3 to 6 feet away as well MASK FREE eating for the same time frames….

Here in this space of eating,

WE WERE SAFE,

safe from contracting,

safe from passing,

safe in our open air eating space.

It was like as long as I sat here eating or drinking,

or as long as I had food or drink in my hand then I was safe to not wear a mask,

I was suddenly allowed and healed even from this illness that I could have and could kill some innocent person with unknowingly,

and then a few hours later I found myself and family at a large water park…..

 

Here we MUST WEAR A MASK TO ENTER….

and as soon as we passed the gates….

 

You are FREE TO GO WITHOUT.

Play in the water,

sit and eat,

stand in a line upon each other, float, swim, ride….

all mask free because here at the water park you are safe from Covid.

You cannot pass it,

you can not get it.

You are safe….

 

awe, but NO you are not.

If you need to pee,

well now,

now you may carry it,

you may catch it,

so grab that mask because it’s a must.

You may have sat a table for an hour next to that person in front of you mask free,

but now in this moment where you are toilets or showers apart you are suddenly ill and contagious.

Take heed…

The mandate is in place.

 

And so, the solution to curing Coivd is keep eating and drinking,

go to water parks abound.

You will never catch covid as long as you do this,

but if you are fishing on a stream by yourself,

or if you stand in your own back yard or walk in your community park or store,

lord help you luv,

because suddenly you are dangerous and weak,

You might kill an innocent stranger or obtain this illness yourself.

 

Perhaps we should all start to drink Starbucks while shopping so we are Covid safe.

And too all you fishermen and hikers, bikers and joggers…. Wear your masks and be safe. 

Mother nature is out to get you.

 

 

Now I know that this little musing may have pissed some of you off. 

And for this I do not apologize but instead ask you to question the reality of what I shared from my adventure yesterday. 

Start to question the logic behind all the mandates and rules. 

Start to ask yourself why this is okay, but this is not. 

And if you find yourself feeling angry and hateful toward myself and this share, 

Then please just delete me if you are not willing to see reason. 

 

We can have different views and not be right. 

For what is right for you, 

Does not have to be for all, 

Just as what is right for me, 

You do not have to agree with or understand. 

 

The point of my share is simple….

Question those that control your life experience, 

Question your reality and the logic behind it. 

 

And know that you are worthy of thriving, 

And worthy of a life full of love, abundance and connection. 

It is always and will forever remain your choice as to what you perceive and live. 

 

Live free. 

Thrive. 

Dream. 

Live.

 

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Are You Hiding From The Truth In Your Relationship?

Retraction.
The holding of the breath.
The gripping of one’s fist.
Fidgetting.
 
What we expereince when something is shared that we don’t want to hear.
 
It can be hard to hear our partner speak about what they are feeling. How they are thinking. Or the challenges that they are having in the relationship.
 
It can be terrifying at times and make us question if the relationship will survive.
It can make us feel weak,
defeated, not enough, lost even.
 
When our partner throws a verbal dagger at us,
whether they know it or not,
it hurts.
 
And we find ourselves tossed between gratitude for finding out and a desire to not know any more.
To just make it go away.
 
The gratitude is our soul telling us that this is what is needed,
if our partner had not openned up and shared then that would mean that the relationship was already dead and it was just a matter of time till we discover its corpse.
 
This is what happens frequently however,
so often couples carry on and one partner is blind and deaf to the truth of what state the relationship is in, until it is too late and then they scratch their head in confussion of , “How is this possible, I thought everything was good?”
 
If we lean into the desire to make this pain go away and to not hear it anymore,
we may find ourselves retracting our love to our partner.
We may find ourselves just simply disregaurding what they are sharing and moving along as though it never happened.
Hoping that if we don’t talk about it or give it attention that it will change on its own.
 
This is detrimental to the releationship, however.
Making excuses up as to why you cannot focus on this right now, saying that this is the wrong tme to bring it up, saying that its all in our partners head or that thats not true, are all statements sharing that you do not value your partners feelings, thoughts or heart and that you are more caught up on the gut punch and how bad it was of them to make you feel this or to ask for something.
 
This is also detrimental to the realtionship.
 
The ONLY path to choose in this instance “IF” you desire to keep the relationship that you have and to make it strong and happy again is to PAUSE and listen without denial, without hiding, without excuses or fighting.
 
This is what is referred to as
“holding space.”
 
Coaches and therapist’s do this all the time for their clients.
The answers are often formed through the venting,
the sharing, the allowance of the feeling.
 
As a couple, if you desire to take some bad news shared and turn it into gold, then this is the sapce to start in.
 
If you close the door to the communication,
if you get angered or bitter about the sharing,
if you go into attack mode,
or allow your fear to control,
then you will find yourself pushing your partner further away.
 
Communication is the key to holding a relationship together.
Communication is the key to healing a relationship.
Commincation is the key to building trust, intimacy and love.
 
But communicating means listening without judgement or a need to be right or change what someone else is feeling or thinking.
 
Comminucation also means presenting a safe space where your partner feels permission and safety in speaking what they need and that their words will be heard and acknowledged.
 
Commincation means sharing your truth.
Sharing what you are feeling, fearing, troubled with, needing, not liking, liking, loving.
 
If you want a turned on, empowered relationship then you have to move away from surface level relating.
You must be willing to hear it all and hold that space for self and your partner.
 
You must be willing to offer what is going on with you and INQUIRE about what your partner is expereincing,
 
Most relationships today do not do this.
They believe that they do,
but they don’t.
 
Most relationships accept the answer of,
“I am good. I am fine. We are good.”
 
The simple truth is that relationship requires work, time, energy, truth, compassion,communicating, stepping back from a need to be right.
 
If you don’t take the time right now to share with your partner or to hold space for your partner to share and actually listen to what they are sharing, understanding that every share is valuable, then what you will discover is that your relationship will end.
 
If you claim that you love your partner.
Claim that you love your relationship.
Claim that it is the most important thing to you.
That it and them matter.
 
Then let it be witnessed through your actions of taking the time and making it priority.
 
Without shame.
Without guilt.
Without anger.
Without retraction.
Without accusations.
 
But with LOVE.
 
If you think you don’t have time to do this,
then I promise you that you will find a time that it will not longer beasking for your time.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for 1:1 couples and individual coaching availble world wide and/or group coaching focused on this and more.

Laughter, Crisis and How To Move Forward.

Laughter is like a windshield wiper,
it doesn’t stop the rain but it allows us to go on.
 
In times like these it is vitally important to the well-being of your mental, emotional and physical health as well as the world’s energy to find joy and laughter in each day.
 
I cannot stress enough that THIS is how we heal this crisis situation.
 
Through finding the blessing in the cloud that is raining on our earth today.
 
THIS is how we move forward.
And we only ever have today to live,
so why make it a day that is fearful?
Why not focus on beauty?
Why not focus on connection?
Why not focus on your dreams and goals?
 
You can have your best life TODAY.
 
But you must look for it.
You must allow it.
You must give yourself permission to feel it.
 
I don’t know about you,
but it has been a rough few weeks.
It has been trying,
and hard to not get caught up in all the fear.
It is so easy to loose sight of hope when the storm clouds just will not go away.
 
But sadly if we focus on the storm and the floods that it is creating with fear,
then we never will be able to see the opportunities that are being presented by them.
 
And I promise you this….
There is ALWAYS an opportunity in the storm.
 
In order to find hope again,
we must first recognize where we have turned our attention.
And then guide our thoughts toward those that serve our best outcome instead of feeding our fear.
 
By applying our attention like this we open up the flood gates to creative thinking,
which allows us OPPORTUNITY to find solutions.
 
Much like the rain on our windshiled,
we cannot see the road before us or the turns that we must make if we get caught on the rain drops.
 
The rain drops that encompass our path today,
are our thoughts.
 
And these thoughts dictate our feelings,
and send us down the rabbit holes that we choose.
 
To clear that path,
to clear the fear,
the limiting thoughts and the seperation from our truth,
we must break the chaos with joy.
 
The little moments.
If we each take this time of isolation as an opportunity to reconnect to who we each are,
what really matters to us,
and become more present in our lives and bodies,
in our relationships and ideas,
then we WILL come out of this storm,
our fires will not be put out but instead we will be purged of all that does not serve us any longer and moved forward on our path as individuals and as a world society.
 
The stillness and silence that so many are fearful of is a beautiful mediative space to go within,
the slower life is an opportunity to do the things that you have put off,
to do self-improvement work,
to change habits to ones that support the life that you want.
A time to catch up on things that you have not had an opportunity for,
and to set goals for the back half of the year and for the next five years.
 
The slower lifestyle,
the “forced” staying at home and being with family is an opportunity to build strong family relationships,
to actually get to know those that you are sharing your world with,
and to take a moment to share with them.
 
The isolation that we have in current is a great opportunity to see what matteres most and start to focus more on just that.
The seemingly simple little things are actually the BIG things.
 
Smiling at a stranger,
making eye contact and allowing yourself to feel your heart,
Playing with your child.
Holding hands with your lover.
Laughing.
Breathing in the cool air on a sunny day.
Family dinners.
and so much more.
 
Today I encourage you to focus on the life that you want.
To bring your thoughts into alignment with what you desire instead of what you fear.
 
And remember that TODAY is all you ever have,
so why not make it the day that you want.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grwon A*s Believers”
Now accepting applications for 1:1 coaching.
Learn how you can let go of that that causes you stress and fear and truly create the life that you’ve always wanted for.
Plus inquire about my group coaching for ways to reduce anxiety and stress with a 5 week mastermind on the vagus nerve.
 

Is there “Life” in Your Years? Or Are You Just Shifting Paperwork?

Keeping it all together can be effing difficult,
can it not?
 
2020 has started with a BIG BANG,
and not the kind that equates to eye’s rolling in the back of your head as you gasp for air and claw at sheets while calling out OMG! in a state of orgasm or ecstasy.
 
The last ten days had been a roller coaster ride of emotions, events, must do’s, drama, hustle and a packed schedule plus a 23 hour road trip home from Tahoe to Dallas.
 
But I would not change it for the world.
And from the looks of my calander I would say that things are not going to chill out any time in the near future either.
 
Now I am a person who thrives in hustle and bustle.
I also thrive in calm and peace, with limited movement.
And I have learned that in order for me to be living at my maximum potential that I do best with a 70/30 split on these two.
 
Life has not always been like this though,
a little over a decade ago, maybe 13 or 14 years back,
(and thank you Facebook for your memories that you share)
I had more of the nothing happening then the hustle and bustle of todays busy schedule and family. What I also had more of was toxic thinking,
limited acting on goals and desires,
a feeling of lostness and emptiness,
a not knowing of self,
and limited “happy” moments.
 
Today, as I have been up since 5-AM and going strong,
I have been pondering this 70/30 balance of my current life and what it has to offer my desired dreams and lifestyle. What would I change? What do I crave more or less of?
Where am I not showing up the way that I want? Where am I allowing myself to be limited?
 
I was reminded by a quote I posted 9 years ago by Abraham Lincoln, ” And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
 
About the importance of remembering to LIVE.
 
It’s not even about the hustle and bustle as I call it,
because we can get caught up in this hustle and bustle and busy work and “think” that it is living when in fact we are just shifting papers on the desk of life and getting no where in a hurry.
 
Living is not about business.
Living is about breathing in the moments.
Feeling fulfilled, connected, happy, sad, orgasmic, empty, creative, adventurous.
 
Living is about FEELING life move through you.
And when we are just shifting papers on our desk of life,
we are not living.
Sure we may have a clean home and our bills paid.
We may have three masters degrees and all the fancy electronic devices known to man.
But can you say you feel fullfilled?
 
Most people cannot.
Most people feel lost and without life purpose.
Searching for the elusive thing called happiness.
And this is because they are not focusing on putting life into their years.
They are filling years with busy work.
 
So what can you do to not expereince this empty hustle and bustle but instead put life into your years?
 
You can start with these basic focal points:
🔥Get Clarity Into Who You Want To Be In Life-
Who do I want to become as a person, and what do I really want right now in my personal and professional life?
What areas of my lacking in and why?
Where do I feel certainty at in my life right now?
🔥Get Real About Your Energy Levels-
Do I have the physical stamina and vibrancy to accomplish my goals and feel energized about life every day?
What are major factors contributing to the way I feel?
🔥Check In On Your Personal Courage –
Where am I stepping up and leaning in on my edge right now in life? Wheree am I backing down?
🔥Get Real About What Your Productivity Really Is-
Where am I getting sucked into distraction?
Where am I holding my focus and crushing it with my dreams, desires and goals?
How can I get better?
🔥What Does Your Impact/Influence Say About Your Life-
Do I have the level of influence/respect/intimacy that I need and want to accomplish my goals and dreams with my family, lover, friends, business co-workers/partners or anyone that I need for support to make my dreams/goals happen?
What areas of my life am I lacking influence/impact/respect/intimacy in that I need to accomplish my desired life?
 
I don’t know about you,
but I want to CRUSH 2020.
I want to totally 💃💃💃 ROCK OUT the year!!!
 
And in order to do that I know that my CERTAINTY and CLARITY in myself and my desired outcome needs to be formulated.
 
That means that in reality,
there is no effing time for the busy work of shifting papers on my life desk.
There is ONLY time to focus on LIVING, EXPANDING and ENJOYING.
 
And the successful one’s know this.
We get it.
You may wonder how we do it?
How do we balance and harmonize family, business, spiritual, health, travel, romance and all the other little shiz,
it’s simple….
 
We focus on putting life into our years instead of getting caught up on the dust in the corners of the desk.
 
We focus on being present, active and taking NO EXCUSES.
Especially from ourselves.
 
We know what we want.
And we don’t just give it lip service.
We step the F-ck IN on our desires and MAKE THEM HAPPEN.
 
I want your 2020 to be effing AMAZING too.
 
🎉🎉Are you ready to make it a year full of living?🎉🎉
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Are you ready for a Year Of YOU?
Availble to a limited VIP group of powerful manifestors and individuals who want to rock out and Kick A*s in 2020 I am doing a private 1:1 opportunity to change your inner world to one of high vibration, focused intention, release of fear and self- sabotaging patterns, and development of abundance skills for life, love and money.
Message me for full deet’s on this VIP 6 -week opportunity to work 1:1 with me and make 2020 a Year of Me!
Start of 2020 and activiating your Yes year to You by saying YES to this potent opportunity today.

Stop Lieing To Yourself- You Are Poly-monogomish FOREVER!

Poly-monogomish FOREVER!
Can’t help it.
Just the way I am wired.
This identification does not mean that I won’t be monogamous.
It does not mean I will cheat or get bored.
It does not mean that I believe I need more
or are unhappy in anyway.
It simply means that I love relationship.
Value intimacy.
And stand firm with my integrity.

It means that those I choose to be in relationship with hold an eternal and special space in my heart.
That if my soul leads me to engage in any fashion,
To explore another being however called too,
That I embrace this pull and understand that it is perfect and meant to be, without question.

Many believe that to be polyamorous means that you desire sex with multiples.
That you are dating and being physically intimate with many.
But what polyamorous truly means is to have love and to embrace love and relationship with more than one.
Anyone who has more that one child,
Has more than one friend,
Loves both parents,
And all thier siblings,
Is engaging in a polyamorous loving.

Many years ago a dear friend of mine looked at me and said,
” You are living a polyamorous lifestyle in everyway but your sex. Perhaps you should explore it.”

His words rang so very true to my core.
And he was accurate in his view.
So I ventured onto the sexual path of polyamory and all it could intale.

Now this is not a personal share of the romance, sexing and relations of multiple lovers.
Its also not a share on how amazing polyamory is or how fucked up it can be.

But it is a share on acceptance.
On embracing who you are at your core regardless of what the norms of society say they should be.
Its a post on knowing yourself enough to allow your own happiness to flow.
And to even ASK for it.

Its a share based on living authentically.
In integrity.
And not just using these words because they feel good or make you sound like an awakened soul.
No.
But to actually LIVE by them.

Yes what I share here is about living in conscious surrender to your HAPPINESS.

And to communicate your needs.
To communicate where you are at in any relationship.
Its a share about what loving self and having self respect really means.
Its a share about your truth.
Its about you not wanting to accept that you are polyamorous just like me.
The only difference is your lack in comfort to speak what you want.
What you need.
What you desire.
And your unwillingness to see WHO YOU ARE.
Living blind to all the love that you give.
To all the people that you care about.
That you are in relationship with.
Or that you wish to someday be.

Yes I am poly- monogamous ALWAYS.
I am polyamorous in my life in all ways.
Those seen and those only felt.
I make a decision in moments of my relationship experience to be monogamous or not.
But the S-E-X,
the sex never has anything to do with it.
Outside of a desire to connect, be seen, or enjoy self or another at a more raw level.
Its never about the orgasm.
Its always about the love.
The connection.
The happiness.

And the greatest happiness and deepest connection comes from integrity.

Integrity with self.
With God.
And with others.

The ultimate self love and respect as well comes from this place of not hiding.
Not story telling.
But breathing in ones own TRUTH.

And when we can do this.
We can also elevate our relationships.
Our love.
Our sex.
Our understanding.

As Always
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

Message me for my unannounced Holiday 1:1 Special Now.

It’s Your Stinking Thinking Luv!

STOP YOUR DAMN STINKING THINKING LUV.

You know what I mean

You are sitting around wanting.
Craving all those things.
Desiring a life you don’t currently have,
And thinking the way to achieve it is by focusing on the not having of it.

Thats such stinking thinking luv.
Its polluting up your mind and your feelings about everything that you have.

If you really want the life you currently don’t have then realize that the only fucking way to get what you want is to apply your focus to that, that you WANT.
And the FEELING of it.

But NO EFFING way will you do that, huh.
No thats not logical.
You have this problem.
This challenge before you.
You must FIX what is broken
You must PROVE you are worthy.

It can’t be that easy to just start feeling good.
Right now.
Right here.
In this very moment,
To make up your damn mind to LOVE your MOFO life just as it is and feel BLESSED.

No way can it be so simple to change your life by applying your focus to being how you want right now instead of looking somewhere else,
Someplace outside of who you are and what you have.
No your stinking thinking has you believing that your happiness,
Is something you must search for.
Something you must look outside yourself for.
Something that you must work for or show your worth for.

Your stinking thinking has you focused on giving up your power to this world outside yourself in hopes that by doing so you will achieve this elusive thing called HAPPINESS.

And the sad and funny truth is that happiness is not found in things or other people.
Its found in your heart luv.
Its found by you truly embodying YOU.
But you were never taught that.
You were never shown its safe to be you.
To feel you.
To show,
Express you.

Instead the lies and illusions of looking elsewhere were given to you and now the void within is so vast you feel lost.
Listless.
Empty.
You have the relationship,
The house and snazzy car.
You have the education.
The kids.
The dog.
The success and even money in the bank.
You have seen this world.
And you still FEEL empty as fuck!
You still feel lost in who you really are and it all just seems pointless at best most days.

Oh luv,
You are so beautiful in your misgivings of this thing called life.
You are so simple in you desire for happiness and fullness.
But its your MOFO stinking thinking thats making it all so complicated.
So disheartening and making you miss the richness you already possess.

Yes luv.
You are RICH.
YOU are ABUNDANT.
And happiness is within you.

Will you CHOOSE to see and feel it or will you continue to give your power and joy away to the illusions and grandeur of this world that tells you to focus on the problems,
The pain.
The lack.

Whats your decision luv?

And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

MY INTIMACY SHARE ON CURRENT FAMILY LIFE BLESSINGS – FROM A MOTHERS HEART- WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

MY INTIMACY SHARE ON CURRENT FAMILY LIFE BLESSINGS- FROM A MOTHERS HEART – WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

Feeling in love this morning as I get ready for the day and the next two weeks of adventure. I am in gratitude for the lessons and experiences of my past,

as without them I would not appreciate that which is with me today in my relationships, lifestyle, and being. It is so obvious to me how easy it is to take things for granted until we are faced with the not having them and sometimes we have to go through great suffering to appreciate that which our heart desires.

The simple little things mean so much.
It’s the smile from your child when they see you walk in the door.
It’s the warm embrace from your partner for no reason.
It’s the kind acts of service, no matter how small that show such care.
It’s the time taken for a conversation without attention to some device.
It’s the snuggling before bed or the good morning kiss.

When Levi makes me breakfast unexpectedly my heart smiles and I feel so blessed.

Every day when Zach chooses to stop in and chat with me before going home, I feel blessed.

When Sam comes and shares her awe over Dameion’s newest milestones or just sits and has a beautiful deep conversation with me about women-hood, I feel blessed.

When Rebekah comes in and shares her latest mommy experience or challenge, or when she just walks up to me and gives me a big hug and say, “I love you., ” I feel blessed.

When Jules asks to go out with me for whatever reason but I can tell she actually needs to just have a moment with mom to share something happening and is uncertain how else to ask for it, I feel blessed.

When Zak Miller, rounds the corner in my house and walks over to me and gives me a big hug before anything else or sits and talks from his beautiful heart, I feel blessed.

When Eniqueo and I tease each other and we laugh, or we compete in love over a good game of darts, I feel blessed.

When Gabe, wakes up in the morning and snuggles next to me and says, “I want you to be my snuggle buddy.” or rushes to help me do something without being asked, I feel blessed.

When Rowan grabs me and hugs so tight I can barely breathe and claims me all for himself, ” My mommy!” or takes my hand and asks me to read him a story and snuggle, I feel blessed.

When Kia, Andrew and J storm in my home and run to me with smiles and big hugs, I feel blessed.

When Dameion looks with his big eye’s up at me while I am feeding him his bottle and smiles while slurping back his milk, I feel blessed.

When Steve stops everything he is doing because he noticed that something was not right with me without me saying anything and gives me a hug or when he does all the little things that are actually big things to take things off my table, I feel blessed.

When I catch that mental snapshot of a moment that is awe inspiring of my family connecting and loving, laughing and being them, I feel blessed.

My life is so crazy busy.
My life has so many beautiful souls,
these that I shared a fragment of what I am blessed by and so many other dear friends and sister/brother souls who just light up my world with them just being in it and choosing to share pieces of their life with me.

It is mornings like this morning,
that I am reminded that life has not always been like this.
Life has always been full,
and there is always drama.
But not that very long ago,
my children wanted to be around me but the energy in our home was not supportive.
The laughter and joy,
the deep connective moments,
the conversations,
the family enviroment,
the thought to another,
the connection between myself and my partner,
the love that I so badly wanted to feel,
it was not there.

It was vacant.
And my heart hurt because of it.
My children suffered for the lack of it.
And my lesson is to never settle for so little of such a valuable thing again.

One of the biggest blessing that our lives can have is the blessing of connection.

The blessing that people,
the people that we cherish want to be with us,
JUST BECAUSE.

From my blessed mama heart to yours,
appreciate your blessings and put your focus on them.
They are what make life so beautiful.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Been thinking about your happiness and success?
Wanting to SAY YES! To Yourself?
Let’s Make it happen beautiful in work, love and life.
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Are You a Momprenuer or an IMPOSTURE?

Hey Momprenuer Are You Being An IMPOSTURE?

It’s time that you decide beautiful.
It’s time that you make up your effing mind,
and choose to just say YES.
Your SOUL is sick and tired of your excuses.
You are brilliant and beautiful,
when you let your light shine.
But you are terrifying and ugly,
when you walk in fear.
So why do you keep torturing yourself?
Why do you keep wishing for what you are not dedicated too?

These words that you toss out at the world,
they are pointless,
they are meaningless and disgusting.
As nice as they may sound,
as smart as you may appear,
these words are not a teacher,
they are not the truth.
And THIS is the issue that you are facing.

YOU are an IMPOSTURE!

You stand there hiding yourself behind your screens,
behind your makeup,
your words and all that you use to cover yourself.
You hide.
And hiding is all you can do,
because you know the TRUTH.
You know the lies.
The lies that you have been telling,
telling all those who listen.
And even though you speak of goodness,
you preach what you know is right,
because you CHOOSE to ignore you speak not the truth.

Your SOUL is begging you beautiful.
To step away from this land of comfort in misery.
And recognize, that you are WORTHY.

But instead,
you keep choosing to get lost in your fears.
To run into the arms of pain and worry.
Instead you desire the opposite of what you speak.
And you settle.

YOU are an IMPOSTURE!

You have a mission.
You have a message.
It is there upon your sweet lips beautiful.
Speak it!
Live it.
Love it.

You MUST BE IT though.
Or you will remain,
remain and be an IMPOSTURE.

Look at the world.
Look at all those that you touch,
that you influence.
They deserve your best,
and YOU deserve your BEST!

You share,
you want to spread light
and love.
Positive messages.
You want to empower humankind.
You want to help all be set free from the bounds that hold them.
And you know the path.
You know the truth.
Yet, you choose to ignore.
To ignore your own lessons.
To ignore the lessons of your mentors, your teachers and those that you look up too.
You hide from your SOUL.

What good will come of this way of living?
This way of being beautiful.
If you KEEP CHOOSING to be an IMPOSTURE.

The funny thing is, that this con artist gig that you have going on….

IT IS NOT YOU.

It is just a negative thought.
A negative thought that has you by your balls,
it is holding you in its terrorizing grip.
It makes you feel as though you cannot breathe.
As if you are safer in the arms of doubt,
then where you know you belong.
And you understand the POWER that you have.
You understand that YOU can change it all.
With one deep breath.
One long minute of focus.
One desire to FEEL GOOD.
YOU can stop this game you are playing.
You can BECOME who you are.

But you have got to BELIEVE in yourself beautiful.
You have got to see that all that you are doing is valuable.
That you really are unique.
You really are powerful.
You are brilliant.
You have a message.
A mission.
And this world needs you!

This message that I share with you today,
its for all those beautiful momprenuers, who doubt and fear. Who hide and mask. But consistently step up everyday.
As you look at all that you do,
and the reasons that you do it.
That sweet child looking at you,
sleeping safety in their bed.
Yes that sweet soul and the KNOWING.
The knowing that YOU are beautiful and have a PURPOSE.

You were born to THRIVE.
This message today from one momprenuer to another,

It is effing time gorgeous that you stop allowing so little from yourself.

It is time that you level up your belief.
It is time that you open up that wounded scared heart.
And START RECEIVING.

You Rock beautiful mama!

So rock out of this hard spot,
and flow into your GROOVE BABY!!!!

As always remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Message me for deet’s about my upcoming global class:

Superwoman Success Secrets for Today’s Momprenuers!

Yes mama! I am mom of 7,
momprenuer for almost 20 years.
I get called Superwoman often as I am sure you do as well.
But do you find yourself struggling for stamina, clarity, creativity, time and or MONEY still?

Feel like this world just tends to eat you up and no one really gets all that you do?

Want to know the secrets that we successful momprenuers have acquired and learned through our mommy careers while building our empires?

That is what I am going to share with you in this intensive global workshop coming up on May 25th, 2019!!!!!

Message me for Early Bird details and bonus content at registration.

The Home Team.

It’s My Why.

Everyone need’s a why to make BIG changes and find the courage needed to do the things that we really desire deep down to do.

If you are an entrepreneur then a question that often get’s asked is just that,

‘What’s your why?”

Your why has to be strong enough to get you through the discomfort,

The fear,
The uncomfortable changes,
The struggles,
and the failures.

Yep the WHY has to be so strong that it forces you to BREATHE deep into your full capacity of BECOMING.

The why has to embody you.
It has to capture your heart.
Your soul.
And make you MOVE your ASS.

Without a strong why, then one just gives up.
We are more likely to allow life to over throw us and to steal our dreams.

On day’s like TODAY, I am reminded how lucky I am to have the WHY that I do.

I know that I am BLESSED.
My WHY is my children.

They are my HOME TEAM.

I know that many parents say that their why is their family.
And I am sure that it is.
It is a marvelous why to have.

Looking into the eye’s of your children and knowing that the reason you dare step out of your comfort zone and go against the grain of society, because the last thing you would ever want for them to do was to be, do or have a life that they were not fully turned on too or in love with.

Moment’s of laughter and joy with my kids make me grateful that I am among the lucky one’s who have chosen to create their own LUCK and not accept the bullsh*t structures of a life that is dictated to me, but a life that allows me to be present with my children, spend as much time as I want with them and be able to be there for the REALLY IMPORTANT moments.

Because the important moments are not just the school awards and graduations, or the sports tournaments or choir state finals.

No.
The important moments are the one’s where a child just needs a shoulder to cry on, a hug at the end of a rough day, a ear that can just listen, or some good laughs in the most unexpected times.

Every time I get to listen at midnight to my 18 year old son sit and share with me conspiracy theory thoughts and as he call’s it “geek talk,” I find myself smiling at my WHY.

Every time my 15 year old daughter casually shares with me her private life and asks permission to rebel, and we laugh about the fact that she is rebelling but asking for permission, I find myself smiling at my WHY.

Every time I go for frappuccino’s with my 12 year old son and he smiles and run’s to get the door for me as he is sharing his deep thoughts on world history or science, I find myself smiling at my WHY.

Every time I find myself being asked to throw water on the trampoline as my 5 year old son bounces happily naked as a jay bird and say’s, “Thank you madriella’s.” as he squeals with delight, I find myself smiling at my WHY.

Every time my 3 year old son, bats his big blue eye’s at me and throw’s his arms open wide as I am leaving to go to a client appointment or get on a coaching call, then pushes out his bottom lip and says, “Kissies, huggies.” I smile at my WHY.

Every time my 21 year old daughter, post’s some of her amazing photography work or breaks down and share’s a deep intimacy about what is troubling her and how hard adulting is, I smile at my WHY.

Every time my 22 year old daughter stands strong as the woman that she is, not letting the world bully her but instead commanding from it what she know’s she is worth and not letting go of her dream’s or who she TRULY is, I smile at my WHY.

Yes, this is my WHY.
This is my HOME TEAM.

I have been BLESSED to have had a Home Team since I was 19 in my life. Although, I would not recommend motherhood at a young age for most, perhaps not even for myself, as I had much growing up to do when my eldest was born. I would not change a moment of my life as the mother to these 7 soul’s.

My WHY is not to bless these soul’s with more money, a bigger house or better car’s. My why is not to show them what a responsible adult does and lives like. My why is not to show them that you sacrifice the life that longs to be lived inside you for the life that you are handed from your outside influences.

No.

My WHY, is to show my HOME TEAM who has supported me through the toughest of days, through home losses, relationship break ups, health issues, rape and even miscarriage and more.

That, living a courageous life,
A Life on Purpose.
A life unappologetically and true
is what living is about.

Life may blow it’s scary storms around you, but if you stand strong like a mountain it will not destroy you.

The storm of life can whip around and feel like it might over take you, it may have you consider sacrificing your heart and soul, but when you have a strong enough WHY you can bend as needed but not break like a willow tree.

My WHY is to see my children stand strong in who they truly are.
To be able to provide them with the support that they have given me and more.

My WHY is let them feel what unconditional love and acceptance really is.

My WHY is to show them a world that is here for them to enjoy.
My WHY is to show them that you can have YOUR DREAMS and still have your FAMILY.

My WHY is to ALWAYS show them that by just being YOU, that it is enough.

My WHY is to show them that we are each the CREATOR’S of our own destiny. That we are NOT victim’s to chance or fate, but that have FREE WILL and free will is the most powerful force when blended with self-love.

It will literally give you wings of courage to stand the storm of life and not just FLY above the clouds like and eagle, but to fly all the way into the heaven’s and find the peace, strength courage and guidance of God.

Yes, this is my WHY.
As any other mother on this planet would say.

My babies are my world, my delight and my WHY.

That is why I REFUSE to settle for AVERAGE & ORDINARY.
That is why I REFUSE to not listen to the call of my soul.
That is why I REFUSE to have my life dictated to me by the way’s of this world.
That is why I REFUSE to believe anything other than I was meant to live a F*ck YES! Life.

Just like my HOME TEAM was.
Just like YOU are too.

What is your WHY?

And remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living!

Want to learn more about living a freedom based life? A life that is ALL about your why? Check out my 1:1 coaching or courses NOW! Message me or fill out the APPLICATION today!

#fuckyeslife
#soulcrusader

The Art of Being F**ked Wide Open

edit1“My pussy ached from desire. Throbbing sensations quaked through my muscles and into my joints. I could feel heat in my womb as my chest grew tighter. It had been far to long since I felt open, passionate, clear, confident and orgasmic. Every part of my body and soul longed for him or any one of my lovers to just take me. It seemed as though I was meeting resistance from the universe through each man and through myself. The more I hungered for the transformative waves to force me into orgasmic surrender the farther they seemed out of my grasp. The more I became determined to speak of my hunger, to send signals that I was wet with anticipation and desire, the more the men in my life seemed to turn away.

Lost in the illusions of depression, ego was at reign. There were far more important things to deal with then my physical neediness and hunger for bliss. After all, there were bills to pay, children to care for, and duties to tend to. This is what was needed. This is what I had to focus on. The masculine mind was ever present and with it came a discontent, disconnected vibration to life, to love, family, finance and any amount of abundance or joy. How could my desire for sex and the lack of filling it prevent me from experiencing happiness and abundance in other areas  as well?

Feeling as though there was possibly no hope and that these sensations that I had approached and waded through at other low times of my life journey were only raising their head yet again because of some lesson that I had thought I had learned but obviously had not, I decided that my pleasure, my surrender was in no ones hands but my own. A deep dedication to self pleasuring began to happen. At the sight of any form of sexual tension I found myself whisked off to the shower or taking a fifteen minute time out in the bedroom or closet, trying to simply alleviate some of the pinned up energy. Each time I dove into a quick self pleasuring act I felt as though my clit and entire pussy were on fire, as though I had an active ready to blow any minute volcano between my legs. Finding it hard to remain present with myself, facing old programs of shame for touching myself, fear of getting caught I could not even bring myself to relish in a fantasy to increase my pleasure. I was simply jacking off as quickly as I could. Not surrendering to my desire and certainly not allowing myself to fully be penetrated by love or life.  Each 5 to 10 minute masturbation excursion left me even more lost, distant, depressed and hungry for connection and ravishing.

The thing I knew but was ignoring was the simple fact that I was not only malnourished in the act of sexing, but I was depleted from the energy of the deep connection that a gourmet session of sex would give. I was lacking in the life giving nutrients of the positive mood enhancers that orgasm would provide. In my inability to surrender even to myself I had also slammed shut the door  to my lovers, making it physically impossible for me to go deep enough in any sex act offered. The need to be taken was me wanting to give credit or push blame on someone else instead of being proactive and realizing that even in the physical connection process of making love it was up to ONLY me to be open, expansive and happy. My being taken started by my releasing into the now. By  making my sex conscious and staying present with my body and with my partner I could then accept the pleasure and the release that would come from it. Only through this consciousness could I embrace life so strongly that it would use my lovers body to fuck me wide open.

edit6It was with this realization that opportunity was given for me to open up to trust and to orgasm. My desire was not for sex, it was not for release or climax it was only for penetration. To me to be taken meant that I surrendered to life through my lover. There we were snuggled in bed as though it were any other winter night. All these thoughts dancing through my mind wanting  to be vocalized, my heart wanting to be penetrated, to be circumcised.  I could hear the call of my pussy begging my hands to reach out and touch him, to encourage the game to begin. My mouth watered and even though we had been lovers for some time and he knew me passionately and intimately to my core I felt a tremble of fear that he would deny me my desire.  The unspoken words must have been heavy in the air because without hesitation his hand slipped over my naked hip and across my stomach. His fingers danced on the seat of my clit, slowly pulling its hood back so that he could access “the spot.” His hand warm to the touch washed over my vulva, a finger plowing deep into my wetness. I could feel butterflies fluttering from pussy to heart as I leaned into him and gasped for a breath before allowing his tongue to plunge deep into my mouth.

His fingers knew exactly how to play me and with each kiss I felt my body soften. Spreading my legs for him as though I was opening the gates to a great coliseum and he was the gladiator. His fingers stroking not only my clit anymore but now curving upward with each internal stroke, I could feel my G-spot expand  as well as my sponge fill. The time had come, he pressed his hard throbbing cock deep into me. He did not stop to ask, he did not pause at my velvet gates, he just lovingly and forcefully took us both to the next level. His clear direction and focus lead his cock to my outer walls. I desperately wanted to feel him yet deeper in me. I wanted him to fuck my heart. Consciously I lay there beneath him, our bodies swaying in harmony, my pussy tightening and sucking on him with each focused muscle spasm. My desire growing to be fucked wide open in this moment, I knew there was only one way to achieve my desire and pull him deeper. My consciousness became focused on opening the door he was knocking on. With each gentle nudge of his penis head on my cervix I breathed and relaxed, I visualized embracing him like I had not done before. Slowly I felt the pressure release into emotion and heart pounding bliss. It was as if there were a penetration happening within a penetration. The surrender was expansive and I could feel him penetrate my core, my heart, my soul. Tears welled up in my eyes as my heart shook in orgasm.

Life was knocking at my womb.”

edit5

The experience of craving sexual release and to be penetrated like this is nothing new or even unique for most women. It is a well documented fact that women in all actuality are the more sexual half of humankind. Women have the drive and are built for long interludes of sexing. Our bodies are a designer highway that rely on the transport of orgasm to keep our psychological, physiological, spiritual and emotional bodies in an optimum state. An underf**ked woman is a woman who is a fragile shell of herself. She is a woman who is full of emotion, and desire but cannot communicate these things in a strong feminine way without appearing hormonal and out of balance, depressed, co-dependent, fearful, hateful, stressed, caught in her mind and simple dreary. The other aspect of a woman who is not properly f**ked is that she is not allowing for her divine state of being a woman to guide her, her intuition is out of harmony and she distrusts almost everything. Feeling the entire time that she HAS to control her environment and that she will not be cared for in life.

There are many things that can contribute to a woman closing herself to the raptures of orgasm and some of them are things that need medical attention may that be chiropractic or actual surgery to help repair tears or nerves that have been damaged due to a multitude of things such as rape, child birth, or other physically impacting issues and/or accidents. As Naomi Wolf states in her new book Vagina, ” … recent science has found that the vagina’s experiences can – on the level of biology – boost women’s self-confidence, or else can lead to failures of self-confidence; can help unleash female creativity or present blocks to female creativity. These experiences can contribute to a woman’s sense of the joyful interconnectedness of the material and spiritual world – or else to her grieving awareness of the loss of the sense of interconectedness… the latter can lead not only to a decrease in her desire for sex, but also risk a tincture in the rest of her life of what can only be called “existential depression” or “despair.”

How can the vagina and orgasm play such a BIG role in all areas of a woman’s life and well-being? And if this is fact then how can we as a society remain in a prehistoric viewpoint of the vagina with limited terms? The autonomic nervous system prepares the way for the neural impulses that travel from a woman’s vagina, clitoris and labia to her brain and it is this intricate system that regulates her responses creating stimulation and relaxation. Yet we treat the pussy as though it were a cock. We view it in pornographic light and expect that a woman will and should respond in similar fashion as a man does. Only through the focused, slow opening can a woman become comfortable with surrendering in the fashion we are speaking of here. We are told that there are skills that lovers can learn so that they can play a woman’s body like a fine musical instrument, we are taught to focus not on “real orgasm” but on climax, and how many climaxes the lover “CAN GIVE” her. These are all misinformed notions of female sexuality and orgasm. Because we are not taught the art of truly touching a woman deeply, the majority of women’s activation centers are ignored and even when she has sex with her partner or herself she may experience climax, but often will not reap the rewards of real orgasm and certainly not experience the rapture and release necessary to be transported into the heavens where interconnectedness with God happens. She will not be able to be fulfilled and truly be f**ked open by life and love thus only experiencing a superficial aspect of herself, orgasm and connectedness. Leaving her vessel depleted and her heart and pussy locked away in devastation and hope. When a woman is f**ked wide open to the levels that are possible for ALL women and is our  birth right and divine design, then she becomes an expression of beauty, joy, grace, strength, creativity and confidence.