Can’t help it.
Just the way I am wired.
This identification does not mean that I won’t be monogamous.
It does not mean I will cheat or get bored.
It does not mean that I believe I need more
or are unhappy in anyway.
It simply means that I love relationship.
And stand firm with my integrity.
It means that those I choose to be in relationship with hold an eternal and special space in my heart.
That if my soul leads me to engage in any fashion,
To explore another being however called too,
That I embrace this pull and understand that it is perfect and meant to be, without question.
Many believe that to be polyamorous means that you desire sex with multiples.
That you are dating and being physically intimate with many.
But what polyamorous truly means is to have love and to embrace love and relationship with more than one.
Anyone who has more that one child,
Has more than one friend,
Loves both parents,
And all thier siblings,
Is engaging in a polyamorous loving.
Many years ago a dear friend of mine looked at me and said,
” You are living a polyamorous lifestyle in everyway but your sex. Perhaps you should explore it.”
His words rang so very true to my core.
And he was accurate in his view.
So I ventured onto the sexual path of polyamory and all it could intale.
Now this is not a personal share of the romance, sexing and relations of multiple lovers.
Its also not a share on how amazing polyamory is or how fucked up it can be.
But it is a share on acceptance.
On embracing who you are at your core regardless of what the norms of society say they should be.
Its a post on knowing yourself enough to allow your own happiness to flow.
And to even ASK for it.
Its a share based on living authentically.
And not just using these words because they feel good or make you sound like an awakened soul.
But to actually LIVE by them.
Yes what I share here is about living in conscious surrender to your HAPPINESS.
And to communicate your needs.
To communicate where you are at in any relationship.
Its a share about what loving self and having self respect really means.
Its a share about your truth.
Its about you not wanting to accept that you are polyamorous just like me.
The only difference is your lack in comfort to speak what you want.
What you need.
What you desire.
And your unwillingness to see WHO YOU ARE.
Living blind to all the love that you give.
To all the people that you care about.
That you are in relationship with.
Or that you wish to someday be.
Yes I am poly- monogamous ALWAYS.
I am polyamorous in my life in all ways.
Those seen and those only felt.
I make a decision in moments of my relationship experience to be monogamous or not.
But the S-E-X,
the sex never has anything to do with it.
Outside of a desire to connect, be seen, or enjoy self or another at a more raw level.
Its never about the orgasm.
Its always about the love.
And the greatest happiness and deepest connection comes from integrity.
Integrity with self.
And with others.
The ultimate self love and respect as well comes from this place of not hiding.
Not story telling.
But breathing in ones own TRUTH.
And when we can do this.
We can also elevate our relationships.
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers
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STOP YOUR DAMN STINKING THINKING LUV.
You know what I mean
You are sitting around wanting.
Craving all those things.
Desiring a life you don’t currently have,
And thinking the way to achieve it is by focusing on the not having of it.
Thats such stinking thinking luv.
Its polluting up your mind and your feelings about everything that you have.
If you really want the life you currently don’t have then realize that the only fucking way to get what you want is to apply your focus to that, that you WANT.
And the FEELING of it.
But NO EFFING way will you do that, huh.
No thats not logical.
You have this problem.
This challenge before you.
You must FIX what is broken
You must PROVE you are worthy.
It can’t be that easy to just start feeling good.
In this very moment,
To make up your damn mind to LOVE your MOFO life just as it is and feel BLESSED.
No way can it be so simple to change your life by applying your focus to being how you want right now instead of looking somewhere else,
Someplace outside of who you are and what you have.
No your stinking thinking has you believing that your happiness,
Is something you must search for.
Something you must look outside yourself for.
Something that you must work for or show your worth for.
Your stinking thinking has you focused on giving up your power to this world outside yourself in hopes that by doing so you will achieve this elusive thing called HAPPINESS.
And the sad and funny truth is that happiness is not found in things or other people.
Its found in your heart luv.
Its found by you truly embodying YOU.
But you were never taught that.
You were never shown its safe to be you.
To feel you.
Instead the lies and illusions of looking elsewhere were given to you and now the void within is so vast you feel lost.
You have the relationship,
The house and snazzy car.
You have the education.
The success and even money in the bank.
You have seen this world.
And you still FEEL empty as fuck!
You still feel lost in who you really are and it all just seems pointless at best most days.
You are so beautiful in your misgivings of this thing called life.
You are so simple in you desire for happiness and fullness.
But its your MOFO stinking thinking thats making it all so complicated.
So disheartening and making you miss the richness you already possess.
You are RICH.
YOU are ABUNDANT.
And happiness is within you.
Will you CHOOSE to see and feel it or will you continue to give your power and joy away to the illusions and grandeur of this world that tells you to focus on the problems,
Whats your decision luv?
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”
MY INTIMACY SHARE ON CURRENT FAMILY LIFE BLESSINGS- FROM A MOTHERS HEART – WHAT I HAVE LEARNED
Feeling in love this morning as I get ready for the day and the next two weeks of adventure. I am in gratitude for the lessons and experiences of my past,
as without them I would not appreciate that which is with me today in my relationships, lifestyle, and being. It is so obvious to me how easy it is to take things for granted until we are faced with the not having them and sometimes we have to go through great suffering to appreciate that which our heart desires.
The simple little things mean so much.
It’s the smile from your child when they see you walk in the door.
It’s the warm embrace from your partner for no reason.
It’s the kind acts of service, no matter how small that show such care.
It’s the time taken for a conversation without attention to some device.
It’s the snuggling before bed or the good morning kiss.
When Levi makes me breakfast unexpectedly my heart smiles and I feel so blessed.
Every day when Zach chooses to stop in and chat with me before going home, I feel blessed.
When Sam comes and shares her awe over Dameion’s newest milestones or just sits and has a beautiful deep conversation with me about women-hood, I feel blessed.
When Rebekah comes in and shares her latest mommy experience or challenge, or when she just walks up to me and gives me a big hug and say, “I love you., ” I feel blessed.
When Jules asks to go out with me for whatever reason but I can tell she actually needs to just have a moment with mom to share something happening and is uncertain how else to ask for it, I feel blessed.
When Zak Miller, rounds the corner in my house and walks over to me and gives me a big hug before anything else or sits and talks from his beautiful heart, I feel blessed.
When Eniqueo and I tease each other and we laugh, or we compete in love over a good game of darts, I feel blessed.
When Gabe, wakes up in the morning and snuggles next to me and says, “I want you to be my snuggle buddy.” or rushes to help me do something without being asked, I feel blessed.
When Rowan grabs me and hugs so tight I can barely breathe and claims me all for himself, ” My mommy!” or takes my hand and asks me to read him a story and snuggle, I feel blessed.
When Kia, Andrew and J storm in my home and run to me with smiles and big hugs, I feel blessed.
When Dameion looks with his big eye’s up at me while I am feeding him his bottle and smiles while slurping back his milk, I feel blessed.
When Steve stops everything he is doing because he noticed that something was not right with me without me saying anything and gives me a hug or when he does all the little things that are actually big things to take things off my table, I feel blessed.
When I catch that mental snapshot of a moment that is awe inspiring of my family connecting and loving, laughing and being them, I feel blessed.
My life is so crazy busy.
My life has so many beautiful souls,
these that I shared a fragment of what I am blessed by and so many other dear friends and sister/brother souls who just light up my world with them just being in it and choosing to share pieces of their life with me.
It is mornings like this morning,
that I am reminded that life has not always been like this.
Life has always been full,
and there is always drama.
But not that very long ago,
my children wanted to be around me but the energy in our home was not supportive.
The laughter and joy,
the deep connective moments,
the family enviroment,
the thought to another,
the connection between myself and my partner,
the love that I so badly wanted to feel,
it was not there.
It was vacant.
And my heart hurt because of it.
My children suffered for the lack of it.
And my lesson is to never settle for so little of such a valuable thing again.
One of the biggest blessing that our lives can have is the blessing of connection.
The blessing that people,
the people that we cherish want to be with us,
From my blessed mama heart to yours,
appreciate your blessings and put your focus on them.
They are what make life so beautiful.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Been thinking about your happiness and success?
Wanting to SAY YES! To Yourself?
Let’s Make it happen beautiful in work, love and life.
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Hey Momprenuer Are You Being An IMPOSTURE?
It’s time that you decide beautiful.
It’s time that you make up your effing mind,
and choose to just say YES.
Your SOUL is sick and tired of your excuses.
You are brilliant and beautiful,
when you let your light shine.
But you are terrifying and ugly,
when you walk in fear.
So why do you keep torturing yourself?
Why do you keep wishing for what you are not dedicated too?
These words that you toss out at the world,
they are pointless,
they are meaningless and disgusting.
As nice as they may sound,
as smart as you may appear,
these words are not a teacher,
they are not the truth.
And THIS is the issue that you are facing.
YOU are an IMPOSTURE!
You stand there hiding yourself behind your screens,
behind your makeup,
your words and all that you use to cover yourself.
And hiding is all you can do,
because you know the TRUTH.
You know the lies.
The lies that you have been telling,
telling all those who listen.
And even though you speak of goodness,
you preach what you know is right,
because you CHOOSE to ignore you speak not the truth.
Your SOUL is begging you beautiful.
To step away from this land of comfort in misery.
And recognize, that you are WORTHY.
you keep choosing to get lost in your fears.
To run into the arms of pain and worry.
Instead you desire the opposite of what you speak.
And you settle.
YOU are an IMPOSTURE!
You have a mission.
You have a message.
It is there upon your sweet lips beautiful.
You MUST BE IT though.
Or you will remain,
remain and be an IMPOSTURE.
Look at the world.
Look at all those that you touch,
that you influence.
They deserve your best,
and YOU deserve your BEST!
you want to spread light
You want to empower humankind.
You want to help all be set free from the bounds that hold them.
And you know the path.
You know the truth.
Yet, you choose to ignore.
To ignore your own lessons.
To ignore the lessons of your mentors, your teachers and those that you look up too.
You hide from your SOUL.
What good will come of this way of living?
This way of being beautiful.
If you KEEP CHOOSING to be an IMPOSTURE.
The funny thing is, that this con artist gig that you have going on….
IT IS NOT YOU.
It is just a negative thought.
A negative thought that has you by your balls,
it is holding you in its terrorizing grip.
It makes you feel as though you cannot breathe.
As if you are safer in the arms of doubt,
then where you know you belong.
And you understand the POWER that you have.
You understand that YOU can change it all.
With one deep breath.
One long minute of focus.
One desire to FEEL GOOD.
YOU can stop this game you are playing.
You can BECOME who you are.
But you have got to BELIEVE in yourself beautiful.
You have got to see that all that you are doing is valuable.
That you really are unique.
You really are powerful.
You are brilliant.
You have a message.
And this world needs you!
This message that I share with you today,
its for all those beautiful momprenuers, who doubt and fear. Who hide and mask. But consistently step up everyday.
As you look at all that you do,
and the reasons that you do it.
That sweet child looking at you,
sleeping safety in their bed.
Yes that sweet soul and the KNOWING.
The knowing that YOU are beautiful and have a PURPOSE.
You were born to THRIVE.
This message today from one momprenuer to another,
It is effing time gorgeous that you stop allowing so little from yourself.
It is time that you level up your belief.
It is time that you open up that wounded scared heart.
And START RECEIVING.
You Rock beautiful mama!
So rock out of this hard spot,
and flow into your GROOVE BABY!!!!
As always remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
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Yes mama! I am mom of 7,
momprenuer for almost 20 years.
I get called Superwoman often as I am sure you do as well.
But do you find yourself struggling for stamina, clarity, creativity, time and or MONEY still?
Feel like this world just tends to eat you up and no one really gets all that you do?
Want to know the secrets that we successful momprenuers have acquired and learned through our mommy careers while building our empires?
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It’s My Why.
Everyone need’s a why to make BIG changes and find the courage needed to do the things that we really desire deep down to do.
If you are an entrepreneur then a question that often get’s asked is just that,
‘What’s your why?”
Your why has to be strong enough to get you through the discomfort,
The uncomfortable changes,
and the failures.
Yep the WHY has to be so strong that it forces you to BREATHE deep into your full capacity of BECOMING.
The why has to embody you.
It has to capture your heart.
And make you MOVE your ASS.
Without a strong why, then one just gives up.
We are more likely to allow life to over throw us and to steal our dreams.
On day’s like TODAY, I am reminded how lucky I am to have the WHY that I do.
I know that I am BLESSED.
My WHY is my children.
They are my HOME TEAM.
I know that many parents say that their why is their family.
And I am sure that it is.
It is a marvelous why to have.
Looking into the eye’s of your children and knowing that the reason you dare step out of your comfort zone and go against the grain of society, because the last thing you would ever want for them to do was to be, do or have a life that they were not fully turned on too or in love with.
Moment’s of laughter and joy with my kids make me grateful that I am among the lucky one’s who have chosen to create their own LUCK and not accept the bullsh*t structures of a life that is dictated to me, but a life that allows me to be present with my children, spend as much time as I want with them and be able to be there for the REALLY IMPORTANT moments.
Because the important moments are not just the school awards and graduations, or the sports tournaments or choir state finals.
The important moments are the one’s where a child just needs a shoulder to cry on, a hug at the end of a rough day, a ear that can just listen, or some good laughs in the most unexpected times.
Every time I get to listen at midnight to my 18 year old son sit and share with me conspiracy theory thoughts and as he call’s it “geek talk,” I find myself smiling at my WHY.
Every time my 15 year old daughter casually shares with me her private life and asks permission to rebel, and we laugh about the fact that she is rebelling but asking for permission, I find myself smiling at my WHY.
Every time I go for frappuccino’s with my 12 year old son and he smiles and run’s to get the door for me as he is sharing his deep thoughts on world history or science, I find myself smiling at my WHY.
Every time I find myself being asked to throw water on the trampoline as my 5 year old son bounces happily naked as a jay bird and say’s, “Thank you madriella’s.” as he squeals with delight, I find myself smiling at my WHY.
Every time my 3 year old son, bats his big blue eye’s at me and throw’s his arms open wide as I am leaving to go to a client appointment or get on a coaching call, then pushes out his bottom lip and says, “Kissies, huggies.” I smile at my WHY.
Every time my 21 year old daughter, post’s some of her amazing photography work or breaks down and share’s a deep intimacy about what is troubling her and how hard adulting is, I smile at my WHY.
Every time my 22 year old daughter stands strong as the woman that she is, not letting the world bully her but instead commanding from it what she know’s she is worth and not letting go of her dream’s or who she TRULY is, I smile at my WHY.
Yes, this is my WHY.
This is my HOME TEAM.
I have been BLESSED to have had a Home Team since I was 19 in my life. Although, I would not recommend motherhood at a young age for most, perhaps not even for myself, as I had much growing up to do when my eldest was born. I would not change a moment of my life as the mother to these 7 soul’s.
My WHY is not to bless these soul’s with more money, a bigger house or better car’s. My why is not to show them what a responsible adult does and lives like. My why is not to show them that you sacrifice the life that longs to be lived inside you for the life that you are handed from your outside influences.
My WHY, is to show my HOME TEAM who has supported me through the toughest of days, through home losses, relationship break ups, health issues, rape and even miscarriage and more.
That, living a courageous life,
A Life on Purpose.
A life unappologetically and true
is what living is about.
Life may blow it’s scary storms around you, but if you stand strong like a mountain it will not destroy you.
The storm of life can whip around and feel like it might over take you, it may have you consider sacrificing your heart and soul, but when you have a strong enough WHY you can bend as needed but not break like a willow tree.
My WHY is to see my children stand strong in who they truly are.
To be able to provide them with the support that they have given me and more.
My WHY is let them feel what unconditional love and acceptance really is.
My WHY is to show them a world that is here for them to enjoy.
My WHY is to show them that you can have YOUR DREAMS and still have your FAMILY.
My WHY is to ALWAYS show them that by just being YOU, that it is enough.
My WHY is to show them that we are each the CREATOR’S of our own destiny. That we are NOT victim’s to chance or fate, but that have FREE WILL and free will is the most powerful force when blended with self-love.
It will literally give you wings of courage to stand the storm of life and not just FLY above the clouds like and eagle, but to fly all the way into the heaven’s and find the peace, strength courage and guidance of God.
Yes, this is my WHY.
As any other mother on this planet would say.
My babies are my world, my delight and my WHY.
That is why I REFUSE to settle for AVERAGE & ORDINARY.
That is why I REFUSE to not listen to the call of my soul.
That is why I REFUSE to have my life dictated to me by the way’s of this world.
That is why I REFUSE to believe anything other than I was meant to live a F*ck YES! Life.
Just like my HOME TEAM was.
Just like YOU are too.
What is your WHY?
Stop Existing & Start Living!
Want to learn more about living a freedom based life? A life that is ALL about your why? Check out my 1:1 coaching or courses NOW! Message me or fill out the APPLICATION today!
“My pussy ached from desire. Throbbing sensations quaked through my muscles and into my joints. I could feel heat in my womb as my chest grew tighter. It had been far to long since I felt open, passionate, clear, confident and orgasmic. Every part of my body and soul longed for him or any one of my lovers to just take me. It seemed as though I was meeting resistance from the universe through each man and through myself. The more I hungered for the transformative waves to force me into orgasmic surrender the farther they seemed out of my grasp. The more I became determined to speak of my hunger, to send signals that I was wet with anticipation and desire, the more the men in my life seemed to turn away.
Lost in the illusions of depression, ego was at reign. There were far more important things to deal with then my physical neediness and hunger for bliss. After all, there were bills to pay, children to care for, and duties to tend to. This is what was needed. This is what I had to focus on. The masculine mind was ever present and with it came a discontent, disconnected vibration to life, to love, family, finance and any amount of abundance or joy. How could my desire for sex and the lack of filling it prevent me from experiencing happiness and abundance in other areas as well?
Feeling as though there was possibly no hope and that these sensations that I had approached and waded through at other low times of my life journey were only raising their head yet again because of some lesson that I had thought I had learned but obviously had not, I decided that my pleasure, my surrender was in no ones hands but my own. A deep dedication to self pleasuring began to happen. At the sight of any form of sexual tension I found myself whisked off to the shower or taking a fifteen minute time out in the bedroom or closet, trying to simply alleviate some of the pinned up energy. Each time I dove into a quick self pleasuring act I felt as though my clit and entire pussy were on fire, as though I had an active ready to blow any minute volcano between my legs. Finding it hard to remain present with myself, facing old programs of shame for touching myself, fear of getting caught I could not even bring myself to relish in a fantasy to increase my pleasure. I was simply jacking off as quickly as I could. Not surrendering to my desire and certainly not allowing myself to fully be penetrated by love or life. Each 5 to 10 minute masturbation excursion left me even more lost, distant, depressed and hungry for connection and ravishing.
The thing I knew but was ignoring was the simple fact that I was not only malnourished in the act of sexing, but I was depleted from the energy of the deep connection that a gourmet session of sex would give. I was lacking in the life giving nutrients of the positive mood enhancers that orgasm would provide. In my inability to surrender even to myself I had also slammed shut the door to my lovers, making it physically impossible for me to go deep enough in any sex act offered. The need to be taken was me wanting to give credit or push blame on someone else instead of being proactive and realizing that even in the physical connection process of making love it was up to ONLY me to be open, expansive and happy. My being taken started by my releasing into the now. By making my sex conscious and staying present with my body and with my partner I could then accept the pleasure and the release that would come from it. Only through this consciousness could I embrace life so strongly that it would use my lovers body to fuck me wide open.
It was with this realization that opportunity was given for me to open up to trust and to orgasm. My desire was not for sex, it was not for release or climax it was only for penetration. To me to be taken meant that I surrendered to life through my lover. There we were snuggled in bed as though it were any other winter night. All these thoughts dancing through my mind wanting to be vocalized, my heart wanting to be penetrated, to be circumcised. I could hear the call of my pussy begging my hands to reach out and touch him, to encourage the game to begin. My mouth watered and even though we had been lovers for some time and he knew me passionately and intimately to my core I felt a tremble of fear that he would deny me my desire. The unspoken words must have been heavy in the air because without hesitation his hand slipped over my naked hip and across my stomach. His fingers danced on the seat of my clit, slowly pulling its hood back so that he could access “the spot.” His hand warm to the touch washed over my vulva, a finger plowing deep into my wetness. I could feel butterflies fluttering from pussy to heart as I leaned into him and gasped for a breath before allowing his tongue to plunge deep into my mouth.
His fingers knew exactly how to play me and with each kiss I felt my body soften. Spreading my legs for him as though I was opening the gates to a great coliseum and he was the gladiator. His fingers stroking not only my clit anymore but now curving upward with each internal stroke, I could feel my G-spot expand as well as my sponge fill. The time had come, he pressed his hard throbbing cock deep into me. He did not stop to ask, he did not pause at my velvet gates, he just lovingly and forcefully took us both to the next level. His clear direction and focus lead his cock to my outer walls. I desperately wanted to feel him yet deeper in me. I wanted him to fuck my heart. Consciously I lay there beneath him, our bodies swaying in harmony, my pussy tightening and sucking on him with each focused muscle spasm. My desire growing to be fucked wide open in this moment, I knew there was only one way to achieve my desire and pull him deeper. My consciousness became focused on opening the door he was knocking on. With each gentle nudge of his penis head on my cervix I breathed and relaxed, I visualized embracing him like I had not done before. Slowly I felt the pressure release into emotion and heart pounding bliss. It was as if there were a penetration happening within a penetration. The surrender was expansive and I could feel him penetrate my core, my heart, my soul. Tears welled up in my eyes as my heart shook in orgasm.
Life was knocking at my womb.”
The experience of craving sexual release and to be penetrated like this is nothing new or even unique for most women. It is a well documented fact that women in all actuality are the more sexual half of humankind. Women have the drive and are built for long interludes of sexing. Our bodies are a designer highway that rely on the transport of orgasm to keep our psychological, physiological, spiritual and emotional bodies in an optimum state. An underf**ked woman is a woman who is a fragile shell of herself. She is a woman who is full of emotion, and desire but cannot communicate these things in a strong feminine way without appearing hormonal and out of balance, depressed, co-dependent, fearful, hateful, stressed, caught in her mind and simple dreary. The other aspect of a woman who is not properly f**ked is that she is not allowing for her divine state of being a woman to guide her, her intuition is out of harmony and she distrusts almost everything. Feeling the entire time that she HAS to control her environment and that she will not be cared for in life.
There are many things that can contribute to a woman closing herself to the raptures of orgasm and some of them are things that need medical attention may that be chiropractic or actual surgery to help repair tears or nerves that have been damaged due to a multitude of things such as rape, child birth, or other physically impacting issues and/or accidents. As Naomi Wolf states in her new book Vagina, ” … recent science has found that the vagina’s experiences can – on the level of biology – boost women’s self-confidence, or else can lead to failures of self-confidence; can help unleash female creativity or present blocks to female creativity. These experiences can contribute to a woman’s sense of the joyful interconnectedness of the material and spiritual world – or else to her grieving awareness of the loss of the sense of interconectedness… the latter can lead not only to a decrease in her desire for sex, but also risk a tincture in the rest of her life of what can only be called “existential depression” or “despair.”
How can the vagina and orgasm play such a BIG role in all areas of a woman’s life and well-being? And if this is fact then how can we as a society remain in a prehistoric viewpoint of the vagina with limited terms? The autonomic nervous system prepares the way for the neural impulses that travel from a woman’s vagina, clitoris and labia to her brain and it is this intricate system that regulates her responses creating stimulation and relaxation. Yet we treat the pussy as though it were a cock. We view it in pornographic light and expect that a woman will and should respond in similar fashion as a man does. Only through the focused, slow opening can a woman become comfortable with surrendering in the fashion we are speaking of here. We are told that there are skills that lovers can learn so that they can play a woman’s body like a fine musical instrument, we are taught to focus not on “real orgasm” but on climax, and how many climaxes the lover “CAN GIVE” her. These are all misinformed notions of female sexuality and orgasm. Because we are not taught the art of truly touching a woman deeply, the majority of women’s activation centers are ignored and even when she has sex with her partner or herself she may experience climax, but often will not reap the rewards of real orgasm and certainly not experience the rapture and release necessary to be transported into the heavens where interconnectedness with God happens. She will not be able to be fulfilled and truly be f**ked open by life and love thus only experiencing a superficial aspect of herself, orgasm and connectedness. Leaving her vessel depleted and her heart and pussy locked away in devastation and hope. When a woman is f**ked wide open to the levels that are possible for ALL women and is our birth right and divine design, then she becomes an expression of beauty, joy, grace, strength, creativity and confidence.
Time to FACE the Holidays!
By Michelle Butt
The holidays are coming. Have you ever noticed how some people are so excited and happy as Christmas approaches, anticipating all of the family get-togethers and socializing? And then there are those who complain about the holidays, dreading all the family get-togethers and socializing.
Well, this year, take a look at the faces of these people and I can almost guarantee you’ll see a pattern. The hostess of the big Christmas dinner will most likely have a round face with full cheeks and perhaps a mouth with full lips. This face shape tells us about someone who loves to be around family and friends. She is the nurturer of the family. She is generous and giving and makes sure that everyone is always well fed, both in goodies and in spirit. Going to her house always feels like going home to a warm, inviting environment.
Think about the face of Santa. Isn’t he the ultimate example of the spirit of Christmas, the most generous man of the holidays? Santa just oozes warmth and generosity with his round, full cheeks and rosy red lips.
Then there is the person who hangs back from the rest at the holiday gatherings; the one who keeps to herself and wants to leave early; who often seems just overwhelmed by all the fuss. If you look at her face, I bet you’ll see fine bone structure, a striking nose and perhaps high arched eyebrow, strong cheekbones with concave lower cheeks. This person doesn’t hate other people per se; she is just very sensitive to the energy around her. All of the emotion and excitement hit her like a wave of energy and it can be very hard for her to adjust. She can literally feel the buzz in the air in her skin and it can be very uncomfortable. So she will hang back until she can acclimatize and unconsciously put up her energetic wall. Then she can enjoy the festivities along with everyone else.
Think about the face of Scrooge. Scrooge was depicted as thin with a fine, bony nose, and sunken cheeks, isolating himself from the world. Yet, once he acclimatized to the energy of those around him (with the help of some celestial spirits), he loved Christmas and enjoyed himself at Christmas dinner!
Then there is the face of the man whose birth we celebrate at Christmas. Have you ever thought about what Jesus’ face says? Well, the face of Jesus that is depicted in all of the churches and artwork around the world, however subtly different has one main theme that is undeniable. Jesus has the face of a Leader. His beard and strong jaw show someone whose mission in life is to be an agent of change and growth. He is the gentle guide who leads with compassion, and strength. The prominence of his chin in most depictions show a man who has the tenacity of will to stand and face fearlessly what others would have run from.
Enjoy all the faces in your holiday experiences this year. I wish you joy and happiness, but most of all love during this magical time.
Original Post on Om Times
In the United States, fall marks a trifecta of holidays that snowball, picking up speed as they carry us,—often chaotically—from October through the New Year. The party starts with the distinctly non-religious (some would say pagan) celebration of Halloween; progresses to the spiritually inclusive embracing of gratitude that is Thanksgiving; and culminates in various religious observances ranging from Christmas to Hanukkah to Kwanza. Sadly, long before we reach Thanksgiving Day, we are already being bombarded with commercial messages regarding the season to come, and a true sense of gratitude gets lost in the shuffle.
So how do we avoid succumbing to this all-pervasive seasonal commercialism? Here are some ideas for putting the thanks back in your family’s Thanksgiving celebration this year:
It sounds obvious. Too simple. But to cultivate a sense of gratitude, we must actually take time at our meal to give thanks. A pre-meal blessing is a good start, but why not take it a step further and have everyone around your Thanksgiving table share a blessing they are particularly grateful for this year? If your crowd needs some prompting, pass a basket filled with slips of paper that ask each person to recall either a friend, a family member, a place, an opportunity, a trip, a meal, a relationship, etc. that has brought them joy during the past year. This little nudge may get the gratitude ball rolling, and before you know it your gathering will be filled with the real spirit of Thanksgiving.
ONE HOLIDAY AT A TIME
Don’t short circuit the attitude of gratitude you cultivate on Thanksgiving Day by diving into preparations for the next holiday right away. Give yourself some breathing room. Be mindful about moving from one holiday to the next and about creating space between the two. Holiday magic is lost if we are in perpetual celebratory mode from October through the New Year. The deeper significance of each commemoration is sublimated if they are dragged out and run together. So instead of obsessing about what picture to put on your Christmas card the minute the turkey leftovers are in the fridge, try staying in the Thanksgiving spirit at least through the entire day. A post-meal walk with family and friends is a great way to revel in the beautiful fall weather and work off some of that delicious meal you all enjoyed.
BOYCOTT BLACK FRIDAY
And when you wake up the next morning, commit to boycotting Black Friday. One concrete way to establish a boundary between Thanksgiving and your next holiday celebration (Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, etc.) is to eschew this retail-centric tradition. That’s right. No matter how tempting the sales. How amazing the deals. Make a pact with yourself (and family and friends if they are on a similar path) to stay home the day after Thanksgiving. Remember those blessings you talked about around the table the day before. Build a fire. Play board games. Watch football. Do anything but turn your spiritual celebration into a material quest.
Too often we feel swept up by forces outside ourselves during this busy time of your. Our head is filled with more “must do” items than will fit on a one-page to-do list. In reality, there is very little that we must do to make this season special for ourselves, our friends and our family. By focusing on keeping things simple and taking it slow, we can return to our Thanksgiving roots, established by Native Americans and colonists, of coming together, sharing what we have and giving thanks.
By Monette Chilson READ ORIGINAL POST on Om Times
Often I look around while driving to the office at other people in the rush hour traffic. Some are sitting in their cars talking on cell phones or texting, surfing the net. Others are tapping their fingers on the steering wheel listening to music or just find themselves a tad irritated with the daily grind of another work day and the traffic that comes with it.
Whatever each person is physically doing does not matter nearly as much as the energy that they are doing it with or the look upon their face. So many people are scowling and look totally captured in stressful thought. Worried about a business deal, a proposal or presentation. Will they arrive to work on time or will they be reprimanded for being late, regardless of the fact that there was a 5 car pileup that morning. They sip their coffee or energy drinks as they slinky themselves along the freeway lanes in anguish that yet it is another day where they feel that time would be better spent watching a dead flower grow. Comfort comes in their titles and pay checks. In these they can point and say “I am important.” Never acknowledging their true selves but instead the labels that life has given them.
It does not end at work either. This same dull drum carries into the home front. Into the marriages and intimate relationships that we all value so much. We walk in the doors of our cozy homes, our children playing video games, doing homework, watching TV or off on a date with someone, our spouses tired from a long day of duties themselves. We try to not bring our work home so that we can have quality focused time with the people that we love the dearest. Yet often we are feeling pressure to finish some detail of something and find ourselves distant and un-present with our families. If we are single then we work until the wee hours of the morning on a project wishing that when we turn around we would see this incredible creature that can see us for us and loves us unconditionally lying in bed waiting for our body to curl up next to theirs.
In the end of our lives if we are not careful to listen to our hearts and souls quiet music that they guide us with, we may find ourselves
bewildered, unfulfilled and full of regrets. One NEVER regrets living more! One
does not regret experiencing more or making love more. One regrets lost
opportunities. Caving to fear and to social boundaries. One regrets smothering the voice of spirit when the Virus Question is posed at different points of life. The questions that rise up from the depths our souls and cause us to feel butterflies or upset stomachs, nervousness and fear or excitement, these are the questions
that are presented from soul to the logical mind for a reason. The reason comes
back to truly embracing life. Living the experience of life that we were
designed to live.
So what is the “Virus Question” and why is it a virus?
It all comes down to railroad tracks. If you go to the train station today or Google on line, you will learn that the distance between railway tracks is ALWAYS 143.5 centimeters, or 4 feet 8 and half inches. Why is it this measurement?
A: When the first train carriages were built they used the same tools that had been used to build horse-drawn carriages. So why that distance between the wheels and the carriages?
A: Because that was the width of the old roads along which the carriages had to travel. But who decided the width of the roads anyway?
And here is where we do a tad bit of time travel or time warping, quantum jumping, etc. etc. We have to plunge ourselves back into the distant era where soldiers wore short white dresses, had strong sexy backs and legs, and carried upon their heads beautifully designed protective shields (picture Russell Crow or Brad Pitt ladies). A time where Cesar was the ruler of the whole world and Rome was at its center.
The Romans were the great road builders who decided to make
the roads that width. But why?
A: Because their war chariots were pulled by two horses, and
when placed side by side, the horses they used at the time took up 143.5
So think of this when you look at today’s railroad tracks.
The tracks that our state-of-the-art high speed trains use were determined by
the Romans over 2000 years ago.
When ships came to the great America’s to settle the lands
and in time the English settlers decided that they needed to build a railway
that could cover the United States, it did not occur to them to change the
width and so it stayed that way and is that way still today. The effect of the
distance between the tracks determined by the Romans even had a significant
impact on the building of our space shuttles. American engineers thought that
the fuel tanks should be wider, but the tanks were being built in Utah and had
to be transported by train to the Space Center in Florida, and the tunnels
could not take anything wider. So they had to accept the measurement that the
Romans had decided was the ideal.
Now you may find this tale very interesting or be wondering
what the hell I am even talking about it for, and you most certainly are
wondering how the Romans road building has any effect on our marriages and
relationships at all or on any part of our personal lives, since most of us do
not personally use the train system unless we live in a major city center or
have a job with the railroad.
It has everything to do with marriage and relationships.
Especially those that are supposed to be “love-relationships.”
Somewhere along the line someone in our world history stood
up to the plate and said, “When two people get married, they must stay frozen
in time. They must stay like that for the rest of their lives. Till death do
they part. You will move along side by side like two railroad tracks, keeping always
that same distance apart. Even if sometimes one of you needs to be a little
farther away or a little closer, that is against the rules. “
Rules: Be sensible. Think of the future. Think of the
You can’t change; you must be like two railway tracks that remain the same distance apart all the way from their point of departure to their destination. The rules don’t allow for love to change, or to grow at the start and diminish halfway through, it is too dangerous. And so, after the enthusiasm of the first few years, they maintain the same distance, the same solidity, and the same functional nature. Your purpose is to allow the train bearing the survival of the species to head off into the future: your children will only be happy if you stay just as you were – 143.5 centimeters apart. If you’re not happy with something that never changes, think of them, think of the children you brought into this world.
Think of the neighbors. Show them that you’re happy, eat roast
beef on Sundays, watch television, and help the community. Think of society.
Dress in such a way that everyone knows you’re in perfect harmony. Never glance to the side, someone might be watching you, and that could bring temptation; it could mean divorce, crisis, depression.
Smile in all the photos. Put the photos in the living room, so that everyone can see them. Cut the grass, practice a sport, — oh, yes, you must practice a sport in order to stay frozen in time. But when sports are not enough, have plastic surgery. But NEVER forget that these rules were established long ago and MUST be respected. Who established the rules? That does not matter. DO NOT question them, because they will always apply, even if you don’t agree with them. (adapted from The Zahir by Paulo Coelho)
These factious rules that the majority of our society abides
by are not designed to handle the up roaring of the “Virus Question” though.
At some point in life we may stop and look in the mirror, see
a glimmer of the person we use to be and the dream we once had and find
ourselves looking over our shoulder at the view of this white picket fence life
asking: Why am I unhappy?
Our governments, our religions, our bosses, our friends,
neighbors and families do not want us asking this question. Because it carries
with it the virus that will destroy everything. It means we want to find out
what makes us happy. If we find the courage to ask it and to look ourselves in
the eyes and feel our hearts answer, we will discover most likely that what
makes us happy is different from what we are living now, then we must either
change once and for all or stay as we are, feeling even more unhappy because we
The glimmer of that life that we long to live. The adventures we long to explore, the passions we long to full fill and the love we long to fully open up to can all be acquired within a moment’s thought if we are
willing to hear the call of the soul and charge forth like a couragous Roman soldier facing his enemy on the field. In the same thought we can crush our own hopes and dreams, our passion and take our love away that wants to be harvested and shared unconditionally by smothering it in a wool sack like dirty laundry. Not fit for the rules of the life that we are living. After all the rules ALWAYS apply and they were established long ago by who knows who. It does not matter. All that matters is that we realize that we must do what is civilized and within the boundaries of the box that we reside.
You will never experience true ecstasy or your true self, let along the openness and full union in love with another if you are not willing to break the rules.
It is not until you walk through the shadows of darkness and
fear no evil, when you know that your inner light and strength will guide and
comfort you, that all the fear and shackling of society through the embracing
of mediocrity will do nothing but cause the chaos, the divorce, the depression
and gloom that we all try to hide from that you can actually realize this:
“When I have nothing more to lose, I will be given everything. When
I cease to be who I am, I will find myself. When I experience humiliation and
keep walking, I will understand that I am ALWAYS free to choose my destiny.”
The question of “why am I unhappy?” may carry with it the
virus of change, but better to be taken over by such an illness and be healed
from a life of quiet desperation then to believe we are not sick and die of a
cancer that is eating up our nations and our world from the inside out.
You are free. You are free to choose your destiny. You are
free to choose life, love and the pursuit of happiness. You are free to be
happy and you are free to investigate why you are not.
As Dante wrote in The Divine Comedy, “The day that man allows
true love to appear, those things which are well made will fall into confusion
and will overturn everything we believe to be right and true. “
“The world will become real when man learns how to love;
until then we will live in the belief that we know what love is, but we will
always lack the courage to confront it as it truly is.
Love is an untamed force. It is a rule breaker. When we try
and control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us.
When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused. This
force is on earth to make us happy, to bring us closer to God and to our
communities, to ourselves. Yet the way we love now brings us an hour of anxiety
for every minute of peace.” – Paulo Coelho
We must transform our love into the love that the creator
intended it to be. Open and unconditional. All embracing, with not prison bars,
no rules of proper educate, and no attachments of expectations.
Enjoy the romantic love that flourishes your environment at the start of a new relationship. But open yourself to the realization that all this flutter and rose tinted glasses is only a taste of the love that dwells inside of your very being. It is not a magic spell, it is not a manifestation from the one you are feeling all warm and cuddling about. It is YOU opening to ecstasy. “Ecstasy is the final stage of intimacy with yourself… It is a shift in perception in which direct contact with spirit is made.” (Deepak Chopra) Through the integration of our bodies, minds, hearts and souls we can fully realize that we are not only the great challous of this love, but we are also the sweet nectar that fills it. We are not singular, we are plural. We are all part of the Christ-consciousness matrix that is awakening to Divine Love. And once we awaken we will redesign our railways, perhaps we will even come to the conclusion that stiff metal tracks are not even required to get us to our life destinations. Instead we may invest in parachutes so that we can fully be embraced by the heart throbbing experience called Life.