Our Vineyards Speak Our Truth.

Wine.
Grapes.
Grapevines.
Vineyards and vineyards of depth, complexity, sweet and earthy aromas.
 
Staring down the rows of grapes,
I ponder the truths of where my life is and where it is going.
I stand there, with my ego screaming at me one thing and my heart basking in the beauty and perfection of the moment.
 
There are inner voices ( my ego) yelping that I should respond to my ex about this or that, and how or why is this happening? They screech at me about the stresses that billow around life and want me to pull my attention to these things.
 
These things that make me not feel good.
These things that guide me down a rabbit hole of negativity.
Of scarcity and fear.
Here is my ego.
Here is the demon of fear that is making use of anything or anyone that it can to show me evidence of what it wants me to believe which is nothing more than an illusion to my soul truth.
 
In this,
I remember the words that I have expressed to so many clients, friends and family through the years in times of stress and ego.
 
Just breathe.
And so I breathe.
 
I stand here in the sunshine that peaks out from behind the clouds on this marvelous day in the Texas wine country and I breathe.
 
I allow myself to feel all this fear as it dances around inside my being.
I feel the emotions that come up with it.
I feel my body wanting to take ownership of it and manifest suffering in some fashion.
 
I feel it.
Deep down in my gut.
The rumble.
The bloated nasty feeling.
A need perhaps to excuse myself to the restroom.
My chest feels tight as well.
I feel distant yet embodied.
But I feel like I want to run from it all.
My heart is holding.
And it is mourning.
 
These are all brought on my my emotions.
By the fear that is currently possessing my being.
I allow myself to feel it,
and I stare out over the vineyards of grapes.
I sip my port,
And I breathe.
 
I breathe as deep as I possibly can.
From the dungeons of this fear my soul charges forth,
it claws its way back up into my heart.
It grabs a hold of me,
I now feel really sick.
The awakening of all that I was falling prisoner to comes forth in my mind.
I see how this fear,
this emotion that longs to control my expression,
my actions and my life,
how it cannot happen unless I choose to let go of everything that I desire for myself, my life and for the one’s I love.
 
I see it.
And I breathe.
I breathe deeply into the awareness.
The awareness that I cannot let this happen.
I must let go of the hand of fear, all though there is comfort in it, it just does not serve my life.
It would be me settling for all that I do not want.
 
So what is the answer?
The answer to this vineyard tale,
is that as I stood there my soul chose a new path.
And I listened.
I leaned into my soul and I aligned back with it.
I allowed myself to be led back to my joy.
 
The suffering,
the fear and scarcity thinking lasted only perhaps a moment in time, but it was a moment of awareness that I could not link up with it or it would devour me like it does so many in our world.
 
As I breathed deep and drank my wine,
I consciously turned my attention to something more.
I turned my thoughts and thus my feelings to joy, to gratitude, to the beauty in this moment and in my life.
 
I looked out with fresh eye’s and I gasped at the beauty that was planted before me.
 
SO much potential from something so small.
The grape.
 
The complexity that we all crave,
the ease that we enjoy its flavors with,
sweet,
earthy,
crisp,
tangy,
oakey,
spicy.
 
There is so much that a glass of wine can bring into your experience.
It offers you new flavors with every sip.
Depending on what you eat with it,
the flavors will change,
some things will be enhanced,
some will be muted.
Sometimes a wonderful glass of wine can be destroyed by the bite of a food that does not compliment it making you choose which you will give up.
 
Much like our lives,
wine brings to us pleasure,
when we allow it to and when it is paired with the right things.
 
When we align to our souls,
and we step into what we know is true and in our best,
we honor our own vineyard.
Where there is so much possibility.
There is so much joy,
SO much hope.
So much love.
and abundance.
 
It is all here in the vines of our lives,
in the vines of our expressions,
our experiences,
and how we choose to develop them.
 
So I ask you this today on this lovely Sunday morning,
What vineyard will you plant for your life and what wine will it bear for you tomorrow?
 
Remember this!
The branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you or I unless we abide in our truth.
 
This truth,
no matter your faith, is the truth of your soul alignment.
 
Are you aligned to your soul?
Your bearing of fruit will tell you your answer.
 
Choose wisely.
Choose abundance.
Choose love.
Choose joy.
Choose a FREEDOM BASED LIFE.
 
Cheers.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
Join me for 5 Intensive Weeks in a LIVE Global Facebook Workshop Starting October 22nd, 2018. Where I show you how to Embrace Your Power and Claim Your Life. Learn how a single mom of seven developed the skills to go from fear and scarcity, making $17k a year to abundance and joy making a multi-six figure income a year.
 
I will be sharing mind shift strategies that I have adapted through the years to manifest the Freedom Based Life that I now live today.
 
Limited Workshop Spot’s due to the 1+1 Private Focus Sessions that come with this workshop.
Grab Your seat now for
“5 Step’s to a Freedom Based Life”

My False NEED to Control…

BOOM!!!! My Observation of the darkness and my truth…

“OMFG! Here is my ego. Here are my blocks.”

Last night I sat in bed listening to training video’s and working through mindset practices and journaling to level up my work. I know that I am not in full alignment at this moment with who I really am and my desires. So there I sat till almost 2AM doing the REAL effing work. You know what I am talking about. The INTERNAL work.
And because I am a mom of a 5 year old and a 3 year old, I found my bed invaded by little people who were struggling with their sleep. This made me keep my room dim where I could barely see the words that I was writing in my journal.
I noticed quickly my struggle for control.
My need to make sure that my words were forming correctly.
As though my soul would form them wrong…lol
I noticed that I was struggling to just go with my flow,
and ALLOW.
As I moved more into this observation, I started to desire to just LET IT GO.
But my EGO,
my effing EGO.
It fought.
It wanted me to control.
To think I was doing something incomplete,
not good enough,
not right.
All because I could not see clearly the space I was writing in and the entirety of what I was calling in through my words.
How eye opening this was.
My lesson of the early morning.
Here was a major block.
Here was how my EGO had me by the balls currently.
It was happening not just in my journaling,
but in my life.
My false NEED to know the path.
To see the STEPS.
To try and control what is not mine to control.
My lack of FAITH….
WOW!!!!
Time to let that shit go!
If you relate to this intimacy share on your blockages around manifesting your #fuckyeslifestlye then Comment and share your observations of your ego. Message me about how best to become more aware of your ego and create that F-ck Yes! Life NOW.

And As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

Faith To Be F*cked Wide Open

Sadness.

Joy.

Amazement.

Surrender.

I shudder at the thought of the release.

Where will I go from here?

Whom will I become?

My heart is holding so much, I can barely withstand the sensations some days as my mind wonders and I lose myself in thought. The images of times gone past that I long to repeat. I long to hold close to me, knowing that I must let them go. They are no longer my reality. They taught me a deeper level of who I am and who I want to be, but they are no longer with me. Just like I am no longer the person I was yesterday, those realities are no longer here. Life teaches us that you can hold on to nothing. You take nothing with you.

Not into the afterlife, not into the next moment.

Not truly that is.

Sure, we can move forward with all this material stuff. We bring with us, sentimental things as we call the items that we fear to let go of, because we are scared that if we let go of the physical items that somehow our memories will part with them. We carry with us the valuables, those things that we believe that will cost us to much replace or inconvenience us somehow. In truth even these items bear with them some form of attachment to our past realities.

We hold on.

We hold on with all the strength and logic that we can muster.

We hold on with all the ego that we can pretend to ignore.

We hold on with a hope that the realities of yesterday that we loved so much and lost, will come back to us in some magical fashion.

Fearing that they will never.

Knowing that they will never.

Yet we hold on.

Orphans to our past, strangers to our future.

We feel lost in this new paradigm, where we know not what direction to turn, where we feel every choice is wrong. Stepping forward on a path that we have not ever been and that we can not see before us.

Faith.

Faith is all that we need in this time. We know this. We claim to understand it.

It is what all the saints, enlightened ones and masters have told us for thousands of years to lean on. Faith is the key to,

Overcoming our sadness,

Finding our joy,

Awakening to our amazement,

Surrendering to God.

Jesus said all we need is the faith of a mustard seed.

Mustard seeds are effing small.

Have you ever seen a mustard seed?

They are small little brown seeds, one tenth the size of a pea.

That is all the faith we need to move a mountain Jesus claimed. So how do we do this?

My mountains are here before me and they do not appear to be moving, they are steady and strong. Their paths are treacherous and carry with them many changes, much exhaustion, ravenous wolves flock on the paths and chase me, the nights are cold, and the cliffs are steep. The crest that I long to reach is so far before me I cannot not see it.

I cannot picture it.

My map is smudged.

It is written in a language I cannot speak.

I am lost.

I cannot be lost though.

God is guiding me.

This is the pilgrimage of my soul.

The discovery of the me I have longed to meet so many lifetimes ago. Here I am.

Finally, I am meeting me.

I am meeting my soul.

My faith.

Faith of a mustard seed, but faith still. Just like Jesus said, it is all we need. And so that is what I will lean on. The trust that my faith is strong enough to conquer this mountain. Faith enough to meet myself on this pilgrimage and not run from my shadows, not run from my desires, not run from my heart but instead embrace myself.

I need embraced.

My arms are open wide.

My body is ready to receive.

To be penetrated and made love too.

I am ready to surrender.

Here I am in the arms of faith, waiting to be carried on the path,

I long to be carried to my highest point, where I touch the clouds, see the sun beams dancing on snow covered tips of mountains around me. I desire to feel the crisp cool air of a new life that awaits. To breathe it in and allow it to fill me.

Restore me.

Recover my soul.

Faith.

All we need is a little faith.

Faith in me.

Faith in God.

Faith in these shaky leg’s that they will carry me.

Tears may stream down my cheeks, my heart may race, my hand tremble,

Deep down I feel the presence that I crave.

I feel the presence of a Great lover,

It is no lover like I have ever experienced,

It is not a connection of two bodies,

It is not material, physical or superficial.

It is the penetration of my soul.

It is the lover who has always carried me over the thresholds of my existence.

Lifetime after lifetime, this lover is with me.

This lover never leaves me.

This lover is forever f*cking me wide open,

Deeper, softer, harder, longer.

This lover knows me inside and out and devours me.

Drinks in my orgasm as his own.

The rapture he offers me is more than I can share in words.

It is more than my physical body can take in.

It is bliss.

Yes, faith.

All we need is the faith of a mustard seed.

And we can open to a level of our soul,

Revealed in the arms of the greatest lover of our lives.

We can drop our guards and we can surrender.

Here, here is our life.

Our true life.

Sadness.

Joy.

Amazement.

Surrender.

I shudder at the thought of the release.

Where will I go from here?

Whom will I become?

 

 

It is up to me whom I become.

With every breath I breathe me in a little more.

With every stroke of my great lover, I feel me a little bit more.

With every, gaze into the greatness of this life, I see my life unfold.

And I smile.

I smile at the mystery,

At the joy,

At the lessons,

At the tears,

At the rapture.

Open.

Trusting and full of faith.

I am no longer being carried,

I am flying.

Wings open wide.

And you can too.

 

Remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

www.kendalwilliams.com

Shaky Knee’s & Stairs

Shaky Knee’s and Stairs.

These two things do not get along well.
And yest they are a match made in heaven.

Looking down from the second floor stairs,
Looking at that first step,
feeling my knee’s tremble at the core.
The energy pulsing from my core.
The cool night breeze, brushing up against my cheek as I took a deep breath in.
My lover behind me.

My knee’s.
My knee’s, shaking from the hours upon hours of pleasure.
Quivering from the core.
My core.

There is this fullness,
This feeling of alignment,
yet fear still resides here.
I can feel it being shaken loose.

That first step,
seeming so far away.
The uncertain feeling of can I make it?
The knowing that it is one of many to follow.

I am tired.
I am so tired.
I am turned on .
So turned on.
I want more.
So much more.

But FIRST, 
that step.

That first step.
Why is it so hard to land that first step.
To find the courage to JUST TAKE IT.

It’s fear.
It’s uncertainty.
It’s lack of faith.
It’s lack of belief in my worthiness.

and

YET, I KNOW that I can land it.
There is this knowing that is deeper than the fear.

This knowing that wants to be known.
It wants to be REMEMBERED.

It is there begging for my attention.
Begging for me to STOP existing in the shadows of what I can be.

It is that quiet voice that is getting loud as the day’s pass.
Saying, “YES YOU CAN.”

But these knee’s…
These shaky knee’s.

They tremble at all that could happen.
They resist the wonders that could be born from the pleasure of saying YES to myself.
They resist the DESIRE that wants to JUST LET GO.
They tremble in fear that something may happen to this me that I know, as the me that I am to be EMERGES.

You would think that hours of pleasure would grant me the confidence to just land the step.
You would think that hours of embracing what I wanted, would give me the faith that I could take the step and KNOW I have it.
You would think that the surrender to success, the depth of orgasmic bliss that I said YES to would show me that this world is for the taking, it is for the embracing and it supports our TRUTH when we lean in, let go and get in flow.

But every moment, I have come to learn is a new moment.
And every moment carries hope and doubt.

It is up to me in this moment to DECIDE, 
To CLAIM what I want to do with it.

It is up to me, and only me to TAKE THE STEP.

Will I let these shaky knee’s lock me up in fear?
Or will I let these shaky knee’s rattle out that fear as I step forward in FAITH?

Yes there are many steps before me.
There is risk,
But my lover is behind me.
His love carries me.

The step’s are suddenly not so steep.
The breeze, it brushes up against my cheek like a lover itself whispering his intentions in my ear.
The night sky, filled with his glory.
Like a lover filling me with his essence in climax.
There is a owl in the distance,
I hear it’s call of the night.
As if to say, “Listen to your soul, my child.”

And so I shall!
I shall LISTEN.
I shall TAKE THE STEP.
In FAITH.
In CERTAINTY.

Here is my courage.
Here is my guidance.
Here, here in this moment of leaving my lovers embrace, I open to true surrender. True guidance.
My angels are around me.

It is TIME.

Step.
Step.
Step.

Ahhhhhhhh…….
The feeling of saying YES, to one’s truth.
It is FREEDOM.

It is bliss.
It is the F*ck YES! Life.

Will you say YES?

And remember, 
Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

I Unapologetically Want You

Ask, Seek, Knock….

These are outrageous, provocative words. These words ignite and arouse DESIRE.

You know for many years I have heard:

“Kendal, tame it down.”

“Your too open.”

“Watch your language.”

“Don’t do that preachy thing you do.”

“Sex and Spirit can’t co-exist.”

“Life does not ‘work’ like that.”

“You can’t live life like that. You can’t just pray and then let go and live and expect things to JUST manifest. You have to work hard.”

” Are you always this happy?”

And my response since I was  a little girl was F*ck THAT!

So over time, I have learned to tame myself “just a little” bit.  Although the reality is this, GOD wants us to ASK. Wants us to SEEK. Wants us to KNOCK.

We are born of a God that Desires us to DESIRE him and to desire our blessings that he holds pressed down and over flowing for us.   BTW, If you are offended by my using the word God, creator, universe, energy or any applied sex of these terms i.e. male/female, or if you are easily offended by adult language such as f*ck, a*s, bullsh*t, sh*t or any other or the conversation of sex, sexuality, desire, orgasm and how it co-exists and was designed to be part of our human experience, THEN STOP READING NOW and go to someone else’s coaching website. I AM NOT the coach for you! Because I state over and over again – KW Coaching is for Grown A*s Believers!

I look out into the world of today and what I see rampant in society is a people who are lacking the most important, most valuable gifts given. 

DESIRE, BELIEF and  INTEGRITY

Instead we have replaced these gifts with:

Fear, Shame, Apathy, Judgement, Worry, and an acceptance for JUST EXISTING.

We do this in every area of our lives and then we come to God in our spiritual house of choice and we wonder where our desire for him is.

“Why do I feel no enthusiasm to hear the message?”

“Why does spirit not speak to me?”

“Why do good things happen to everyone else?”

“My prayers are not heard.”

” I am not lucky like so and so.”

“Life is hard.”

“Sure God can move mountains, I think?”

“My sex is shameful or a sin.”

“I feel empty and alone.”

I could write 8000 words on how we deny God in our lives EVERY day of our existence. However, I am not going to get on that wagon, instead I am going to state clearly this, ” God wants us to ASK, SEEK and KNOCK. – God wants us to DESIRE. God wants us, Wants YOU to not just exist and believe that living small and in suffering is what the human condition was designed to be about. 

F*ck No!

God desires for YOU to THRIVE. To live Unbound, Out loud and Turned On! – YES, I said that. TURNED ON. God wants you turned on to him, turned on to love, turned on to life, turned on to happiness, turned on to joy, turned on to faith, turned on to your partner, turned on to your purpose, turned on to MIRACLES and BLESSINGS!” 

If you are just existing and believe that desire is a sin, that life is to be tough and that what you are going through is unmovable, then where is your FAITH?

DESIRE + BELIEF = BLESSING

At KW Coaching you are gifted with the opportunity to truly learn about the power of your mind and emotions as well as how to simply apply techniques that will quickly have you living your most DESIRED LIFE!
KW Coaching is FREEDOM Based Coaching for Grown A*s Believers.

And YES I mean BELIEVERS.

Christ Centered, Miracle Focused, Spiritual Based Coaching for anyone who DESIRES to stop existing and START Living the way GOD Intended.
KW Coaching leans on a beautiful blend of biblical teachings, ancient spiritual practices from around the world as well as having roots in A Course In Miracles.
KW Coaching shows you how to show up in your life in consciousness instead of living in a state of sleep or apathy.  KW Coaching shows you how you can be a sexual being as well as a spiritual being.

How you can weave it all together and experience life the way God intended – THRIVING.

No matter what your desire is:

Better relationships, stronger marriage, find love, better sex, finding your life’s work, abundance in wealth, health, success or something else. KW Coaching can show you the simple steps to achieve your DESIRED LIFE.

The Life that YOU WERE born to live.

Release your shame, guilt, trauma, and drama.
Embrace God, Wealth, Health, Success and Sex.

Welcome to FREEDOM Based Living!

Claim it TODAY!

Were the last 5 years ALL that you wanted them to be?

This Sh*t does not change itself.

So STOP Waiting for it too.

ACT NOW.

And Remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living!

 

The Lie You Have Been Told and Believe

 

You know the lie.

It’s that lie that you tell yourself everyday of the week, sometimes twice on Sunday because your dreading the following morning.

Yes that lie.

The lie that all you have to do to be happy is:

  1. Work Hard
  2. Get Good Grades
  3. Get into a Great College
  4. Get a Job
  5. Make Money
  6. Buy a House and Car
  7. Get Married

And Voilà Your HAPPY!

I am writing this article because I have a son graduating this year from high school. He is feeling such a tremendous amount of pressure from his peers, teachers, and counselors around HAVING to have his whole life planned out. None of them understand how he can not have a life plan yet. Some are even deeply concerned about his future and ability to do anything “worth while” because he has no plan other than to survive the rest of this school year.

I suppose they are all right, after all he is considered an adult now at age 18. He has had a sufficient amount of years on this earth to know who he is, what he wants and how to go about getting it.  All the other seniors are making their life plans and sending in college applications for education in the industry of their hearts desire or at least have decided on a career path that will pay them well and they will be successful at.

So WTF is wrong with my kid?

Such a looser he is.  Not having any of this stuff figured out.

Funny thing ya know, he is actually planning on packing his bag and moving to Maui, planning on hiking, diving, surfing and enjoying his feet in the sand. Planning on reading books he loves, and just hanging out and embracing life as it comes to him, moment by moment.

The ONLY issue with this plan of his, is that is DOES NOT fit the societal norm of SUCCESS.

And how the hell can anyone be happy if they don’t have a college degree? or 100k in debt? or are not getting up five days a week working for the man?

There is no freaking’ way someone can be legitimately happy just living life without ALL that!

No instead of all that my son has decided that he will work in the food industry while he learns more about himself and life. While he discovers what his passion is. He has decided that he would make some small investments into crypto currency and learn about flipping properties.  Although he does have a passion for art and could easily also look at becoming a tattoo artist if he desired as well. Maybe he will do all of it? Maybe he will do none?

What he does know is that the way the average minded person works hard, goes into debt and gives away their life is NOT what he wants.

He knows that although his passion is with the ocean and marine life that what he really wants to do would take him until he was 40 to get the position he wants and he most likely would end up settling somewhere along the line for something much less than his hearts desire because he “had too.” After all life happens and with it come responsibilities.

Then life becomes all about duty.

Duty to pay the bills.

Duty to take care of the house and car.

Duty to get up and go and make someone else rich.

Duty to be a good person.

Duty to get into a serious relationship.

Duty to make your spouse happy.

Duty, duty, duty!

And then you die!

That is it. That is all this whole existence is about. Doesn’t that sound wonderful. Yes, so I guess he had best have that life plan in order in the next 8 weeks, before life comes charging after him and making him surrender to it’s will of living without passion, without true love, without purpose and without happily ever after.

Yep he had best just stand up and be a man and do what all young men do. Make their parents proud by doing what they are told and getting into the right college and then the right job. The job that will suck the very life from his vein’s and make him wish Monday would never come  again.

Well NOT MY KID!

Guess it is the curse of having a mom who parents like God. I will love him no matter what he chooses to do and I know for certain that he can do anything he puts his mind too. I also know for certain that the lie that we have all been told is just that: A LIE.

I know this because I thought it was truth and I beat myself up for many years not feeling worthy because I had not done what the world said I should do. Instead I ended up becoming a young mother, married early and struggling. It was not a shock as to why I was struggling. I had not followed the plan above.  And then, then I started to paint the picture of the plan and follow it some and guess what?

I was still struggling.

I was still unhappy.

I had the job. The house. The husband. The car.

And the debt.

I was being a  good citizen. A good friend, daughter, mother, and spouse.

So why was I not happy yet?

I was not living for me.

I was not being me.

I was FAKING it all!

Just Like you are. Yep I am calling you out on this RIGHT NOW. I bet that you are within the 85%-90% of the population that is faking their lives. I bet that you dread going to bed on Sunday and getting up on Monday. I bet that you live for the 5 o’clock hour. You live for weekends, vacations and holidays.  I bet that you have your responsibilities taken care of and that you feel like a ATM machine for your kids and family. I bet that you wish you could do something else, but  believe that you could never do it because it would not pay the bills.

Last thing you want is to be irresponsible.

I bet that even though you have that debt, that you are pretty comfortable with it because that debt is a sign that you went to school, got a degree and did it right. It is a sign that you bought the house and the car. It is a sign that you bought the furniture and have credit! Woohoo!!!! for credit.

It is a sign that you are a effing ADULT and your adulting the right way too, damn it!

But does this mean your happy?

Seriously, ask yourself this now.

AM I HAPPY?

Am I happy?

Am I?

Well, are you?

I feel you. I feel that stomach ache. The tension in your neck and shoulders. The mild headache coming on and the fear and the desire for happiness.

Face it you were designed for more.

That is why your not happy with just settling for paying your bills and being responsible.  You were designed for greatness!

The only thing  STOPPING you from this greatness.

Is YOU.

Yes, actually NO. That is the issue, you keep saying NO to yourself. You keep saying that you can’t, that your not worth it, that your not smart enough. That you should not want more. That it is stupid to want more. To be more.

The issue is that you BELIEVE the lie still and you are WAITING for happiness to come from this lie.

The TRUTH BABY is this, that if you want happiness, then you are going to have to CREATE it.

And it DOES NOT come from living a small life, where you have settled for the lie. No it comes from you EMBRACING who you are.

Embracing that you were born WORTHY.

Embracing that you are POWERFUL.

Embracing that it is NOT what you choose to do as a career, but who you choose to be as a person.

Embracing your joy.

Embracing your YES!

And consistently asking yourself, “What makes me happy?”

Consistently,  seeking out new layers of yourself and being curious in life.

Buying the Bullsh*t Lie that we have all been told since we were small, buying into the pain, the suffering, the “worker bee” mentality of average and ordinary, will NEVER make you happy.

So when will you start to say YES to your dreams?

To your heart?

To your joy?

To your happiness?

When will you START to be a F*ck YES to the Most IMPORTANT person you know- YOU?

I hope you say that today is your lucky day.

Because I believe in you.

And so does God.

Stop Existing and Start Living!

 

 

Why You Need To STOP Following Me…NOW!

I am writing this to invite you to STOP following me.

To unsubscribe from my newsletter, my Facebook and anywhere else that you may be checking in on my work.

YES, I am inviting you to say GOOD BYE Kendal.

Here is why.

2018 is a year of you could say transformation, but in truth it is a year of me saying YES to my AUTHENTIC SELF and my desire to be a crusader. My burning passion to speak the words that I have been holding back for my entire life that NOW want to be birthed from my lips and my finger tips. It is a year where you will see me make harsh but loving statements that may push you far past your comfort zones and even giving me the middle finger.

It is a year where you may say, “ OMG! Kendal went and got saved!” – LOL

And perhaps I did.

Or perhaps the possibility is that I am just choosing to allow 2018 to be the year that I STOP standing in the shadow of shame around my spiritual beliefs and desires and what I have come to learn from walking a path of CERTAINTY and opening to the blessings that are all around.

Perhaps, the possibility of 2018 is that my soul can no longer sit still and be quiet and give what society and many of my readers and followers “think” they need or want, where the focus is on sex and how best to stroke a clit or a cock.

Because ANYONE who has ever coached with me or worked with me in any capacity can bear testimony that my teachings are 98% based in CONSCIOUSNESS training NOT sexual skills. 

 

Here is the thing, no matter what title I give myself, I coach the same. I speak the same. I praise the same. I work on the same issues, the same blockages, the same fear based thinking and habits that DESTROY your relationships, your intimacy, your sex, your ability to experience abundance, peace, joy, connection, health and vitality. NONE of this is changing, because it is my calling to help restore consciousness and connection between humankind and the creator ( whatever name you use). The principles and soul technology that I coach on remain the same. It has always been and always will be at the core of what I do and how I live my own life. 

The difference and the REASON you need to STOP FOLLOWING me now, is because I am going to be a base ball bat.

I am NOT going to apologize for stating things the way I know them.

I am NOT going to hold back any longer.

I am NOT going to cower in the ego based fear of how you may receive me or not.

I am NOT going to allow the programs that many of us subscribe too, conquer me another day around how I should look, act, speak, teach,  or coach.

So here is the thing…

IF YOU CHOOSE, to keep following me, you may grow even more discontent with your life and what you have CHOSEN to SETTLE for.

You may get very mad at my emails, my video’s, my conscious coffee’s, my articles, courses, workshops and talks.

You may start to ask yourself tough questions, such as, Why am I not happy?” – ” Why do I never feel truly connected, seen or loved?” – ” What am I really searching for?” – ” Why does my life feel like a chore?” and “Is this really all there is?”

You may start to observe things from a deeper state of calm, where the mind chatter starts to be put to bay.

You may start to truly feel life and yourself.

You may discover an orgasmic life, where you cannot help but smile from the joy coming from deep within.

You may start loving yourself.  Forgive yourself and others.

You may awaken your compassionate heart.

You may actually start seeing the MAGIC in your daily life and OMG! You may actually EXPECT miracles to occur on a regular basis.

You may start living  instead of just existing.

You may awaken one morning and say, ” It is TIME. Time for a change. Time to open. Time to love again. Time to STOP FEARING.” 

Yes, you may do these things, but they will come with the price of having your ego pushed around. Your stubborn thinking patterns rearranged and the mental masturbation practices that you have grown so comfortable with as your truth and logic stripped down to what they really are: ILLUSION.

You see, I am trying to SAVE YOU the heartache of following me any longer. Why fill the space in your email, or on this screen with words that will cause you to QUESTION your reality. Your Thinking. Your heart. Your trust in something greater than yourself.

Why follow someone who believes so strongly in this mission, ” Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Why continue to follow someone who BELIEVES YOU, yes you, deserve GREATNESS.

That is  your natural state of being and that God desires nothing more than to grant it to you.

But FIRST….

You must say GOODBYE.

Goodbye to ego.

Good bye to fear.

Goodbye to doubt.

Goodbye to those things that hold you back.

Goodbye to your disbelief that God wants you to be HAPPY and have what you desire most.

And that maybe your DESIRE,  to JUST be AVERAGE and just get through the next day.

So in that case you may need to say goodbye Kendal….

Because, I want to THRIVE!

I want to call down my blessings. And every day, I am granted the beauty of magical experiences, beautiful people and opportunities. Many reasons to smile. And even more reasons to share my joy. My faith, my life work, my heart and my soul. 

Will you stay or will you go?

I cannot say.

You have free will.

Choose NOW. Because NOW is all you have, all you will ever have. Do not build your life of fear of tomorrow, but on the blessing of TODAY.

STOP Existing – START Living, This coaching is for Grown A*s Believers.

Divine Marriage — kundalini and tantra

Throughout the annals of mythology and spirituality, the devi – Kunti – (the Yin/Shakti opposite Yang/Shiva) has taken many forms and faces; some of these are translated accurately, others are not. Many have become owned (over time) by some cannonisation, doctrine .. or set of dogmatic rules.

Wholeness and the first separation

At the deepest and most primordial, Yin and Yang .. deva and devi are the first separation but, they are never separate. In Hindi, she is Shakti, he is Shiva

deva : d’e’v’a is the primordial masculine principle; an essence or principle, originally; ‘a bright or shining one’ from *div– to shine; the “sign” or “omen” of the energy which pervades; bestowing, producing or imparting; as with hot fire or passion from “above” (as in Heavenly); sometimes seen as a “gift” with the concept of going inward, within or in; the life in-breath; as an aspect of Brahma

devi : dh’e’v’i is the primordial feminine principle; placement or holding; potential to go beyond or transcend; consciousness potential as in “hidden” or “the inner self” with wonder, awe; the energy which pervades ; bestowing, producing or imparting; as with cold fire or passion of receptivity; that which has the potential to ‘learn’ or evolve as the essence of compassion with the power to obtain or become something else

Yoga, itself, is the UNION of the deva and the devi — masculine and feminine — Yin and Yang — Shiva and Shakti

The Tibetans go one step further; they call it Tantra – describing it as the warp and weft of the cloth as in the “sacred” weaving

akin to Christianity’s “Divine Marriage” of the Heavenly Bride (Yin, the devi) and Bridegroom (Yang, the deva) .. for it is written:

Tao gave birth to One;
One gave birth to Two;
Two gave birth to Three;
Three gave birth to the ten thousand things.
The ten thousand things carry Yin and embrace Yang
The two primordial breaths blend and produce harmony.

The Tao or “The Way of All Things” is a flow, an inter-penetration, an omniscience and an omnipotence and a homeostasis of both masculine and feminine, positive and negative principles

7000 years of Kundalini and the divine marriage

The elements of the Force and the Field were inscribed on a tortise shell 5000 or so years ago; “k’un” is of the earth; the feminine; the energy of life.

Hindu’s derived the name Cunti/Kundi and all its variations that have formed the roots of Country, Kind and Kildare; Kundalini as it is propogated by the purveyors of “authentic Western Guru’s” is nothing more than a thought-form (Tulpa) far removed from the Sanskrit roots of the word.

But then, the Primordial Feminine the first separation from the void is something that the conscious mind cannot manipulate or control for the simple reason that this one bit computer is nothing more than the product of one’s dis-eased feminine .. a feminine that is separated from the Void.

The Divine Marriage — cross culturally

The feminine is the field in the pairing of the force and the field; she is sometimes represented as ‘of the manifestation‘ … ‘of the earth‘. In the Christian prayer, we find “Thy Will be done in Earth as it is in Heaven“.

To most, she is mysterious, deep, dark sultry ..

She is Serena (from the Latin serene) unagitated; without losing self-possession; calm; tranquil; fertile; she was a ‘Golden Hind‘ (female deer) in ‘Hercules: The Legendary Journeys

She is also Tara, the devi Hindu Mahavidya, the saving aspect of the Goddess who in Buddhist terms is the female deity (devi) representing enlightened activity and fearlessness.

In Polynesian Mythology, she is the ‘sea goddess’; the ruler of the element of water.

But, she is also Diana the virgin, the equivalent of the Greek Artemis born with her twin brother Apollo.

And so, before it was corrupted, we have the story of the Virgin Mary — so much a parallel to the story of Kunti in the Mahabaratra

She is Ishtar .. the Assyrian and Babylonian counterpart to the Sumerian Inanna and to the cognate northwest Semitic goddess Astarte

Divine mysteries of Islam

Before Muhammad brought the religion of Islam to Arabia, the Arabs polytheistic (many gods) people. Hindu merchants frequently passed through Makkah, (now Mekka) a major trading hub.

Ancient Indian Vedic texts refer to Makkah as a place where Alla the Mother Goddess was worshiped. In Sanskrit, Alla means “mother.”

This name was connected to the Hindu Goddess Ila. She was the consort of the Hindu God Sivain his form known as Il, and this form of Siva was known and worshiped in pre-Islamic Makkah. A great deal of cultural and spiritual interchange took place between the merchants of Makkah and India.

Rumi (1207 – 1273) writes:

“Woman is the radiance of God; she is not your beloved.
She is the Creator—you could say that she is not created.”

So, once again, we have a whore word .. Alla as the divine feminine, the “moon”, the goddess of Fertility, the symbol of womanhood .. transliterated from Ancient Aramaic as “sin“. Moon was worshipped in its threefold existence – waxing, (maiden), full (pregnant mother) and waning (old wise woman). The Virgin was the New Moon.

Muyiddin ibn al- ′Arabî (born 1165) wrote,

“To know woman is to know oneself,
Whoso knoweth his self, knoweth his Lord”

.. and,

“man′s supreme witnessing of Allâh
is in the form of the woman during
the act of sexual union ..”

In the Kabbalah, just below the first Sphere (sefirah) of divine emanation known as Keter(crown; summit; pinnacle), lie the two roots of masculine and feminine, known as Hokhmah andBinah.

Binah is the Kabbalistic feminine symbol for Understanding, a prelude to wisdom. “Binah, the Great Mother, sometimes also called Marah, the Great Sea, is, of course, the Mother of All Living. She is the archetypal womb through which life comes into manifestation.”

Fatima

Fatima (the daughter of the Prophet Muhammad) was considered to come from the level of angels. She is considered by many Muslims as divine in origin and several variations of a major hadith describe how she was conceived on the night of Mi′râj (ascension).

On this night Gabriel took Muhammad to Jerusalem and then to Heaven. While up in Heaven, he was offered some heavenly fruit, the seed of which was responsible for her conception, after the Prophet′s return on the same night and making love to his beloved wife Khadija.

Mohammad, in referring to Fatima as “The Mother of her Father”, understood that his gnosis was bestowed upon him from the Divine Feminine. Fatima’s own words,

“There is no God beside me, neither in divinity nor humanity, neither in the Heavens nor on earth, outside of me, who am Fatima – Creator.”

and what would all of this mean to a Rule whose sole purpose was the control and manipulation of all of its people through the establishment of a Patriarchal “God” — of course, you’d have to be born of original sin.

Isis and the Throne

Isis is the Greek form of more ancient names (Aset or Eset), and the name Isis is represented in hieroglyphics with a picture of a “throne”.

The throne represented the Feminine power of the Goddess, and the King when he ascends the throne, is actually drawing power from the throne upon which he sits.

The Wedding

To the pre-Christian Irish, water was the source of all life. Eire, after whom the country was named, was the superior Goddess of water and fertility, the island of Ireland being the body of the goddess. The Irish language has no word for the coronation of a king. This is because Irish kings were not crowned; they were married to the goddess in a ceremony called An Bainais – the wedding.

Therefore, we see the Divine Feminine, as the Source of Life, being expressed first by the means that humans may understand the Divine Feminine, in other words, Wisdom, being a feminine word, second, by the most holy names which express in a universal way (spanning cultures as varied as Egyptian, Hittitie and Celtic) that the Source of Life is the Divine Feminine.

Rumi again writes ..

“On Resurrection Day, the sun and moon are released from service:
and the eye beholds the Source of their radiance,
then it discerns the permanent possession from the loan,
and this passing caravan from the abiding home.
If for a while a wet nurse is needed,
Mother, return us to your breast.
I don′t want a nurse; my Mother is more fair.
I am like Moses whose nurse and Mother were the same.

Tantra

The basic tenet of Tantrism is that matter, and therefore the body, is also a manifestation of Sakti power, that is, the power emanating from the feminine aspect of Divine Reality. In the domain of the spiritual life, the same term Sakti signifies the devi that allows one to enter into contact with Enlightenment.

She is both the key and the mystery;
who can be decoded only through Muladhara …

The child is Brahma; the Goddess is Dakini

Muladhara bears the Sanskrit letters va, scha, sha, and sa and the seed sound in the centre is lam

I am … the mother of my father and the daughter of my son

Original Posting (No Longer Available)