TO BE SOFT… What Does It Mean To Your Happiness?

TO BE SOFT IS TO BE POWERFUL. – Rupi Kaur
 
Last year I went out with my second oldest child, my daughter Rebekah to get tattoo’s. She had this beautiful quote that she was getting putting on the inside of her arm that her boyfriend had ended a love letter with. It was such lovely, powerful words of encouragement and I could easily understand why she desired to keep them for her lifetime.
 
I love ink. And getting inked is a THING.
If you are into ink, you get it.
If not, oh well, I am sorry.
 
SO I decided that I would get a tattoo as well, but I always want my tattoo’s to have meaning of some sort and I had not given much thought to this moment. There we were driving to the artist discussing what I should do. When Bek says mom,
“To be soft is to be powerful. – This is so you mom.”
 
I was bewildered, I do admit.
I felt like I sucked at being soft.
I felt like soft was scary.
I felt like soft was bad somehow, that I should be ashamed of it even.
I questioned what she meant by this.
And she explained,
“Mom you are always there for us. You always let us see you and you are always working on yourself. You make mistakes and you allow for our mistakes. You are the strongest person.”
 
What she was expressing to me was that I ALLOWED MYSELF TO FEEL LIFE.
 
The good.
The bad.
The painful.
The joy and orgasm.
The sweetness.
The bitterness.
The meh.
The void.
The fear.
The fullness.
 
I feel it all.
And I KNOW the BEAUTY of it, because I allow myself to experience it all.
 
And so, she was correct in her statement and much like her that day, I needed to keep with me the reminder of my power in my FEELS.
 
Through the course of this lifetime,
I have wanted so badly to run and hide from what I was feeling.
I have wanted to mask it,
cover it up and not allow it to be seen by self or others.
And when I did allow it to be seen or felt,
I was shamed of my humanness around my fears, my joy, my pain and void.
Something always seemed amiss in my feeling,
it was this voice in my head,
telling me that I should not be feeling this way.
It was this same voice telling me I was weak, pathetic and hopeless.
That it was this sort of crap that kept me disconnected from people.
That I was too much to handle.
I was broken.
 
 
And so I worked ever so hard to toughen up.
I focused on breathing in my emotions and “building a strong house” to hold them in.
In the belief that by not revealing them,
by holding them,
that I was being emotionally mature.
 
LMAO!!!!!
 
Looking back at this I feel silly.
Sweet in my desire to be mature with my emotions,
strong for the people in my life,
true.
But so wrong in truth,
this way of being,
of living was not LIVING.
It was hiding from life.
It was avoidance of who I was,
it was a shrinking of my heart center,
a closing to the one’s that I love.
It was a hardening or callousing of my ability to connect,
to be seen and to see another.
In this stifling of feeling,
I lost my ability to have intimacy with life, with others and with self.
I SHRUNK as a human.
 
And in this I lost.
I was the BIGGEST looser.
Because all I wanted was the intimacy,
the love,
the connection.
To be received and to hold space for another.
And what I gifted myself with in my “strength of holding my emotions so tight” was to shield LIFE.
 
The end result outside of loss of intimacy and ability to relate, connect and love, let alone be authentically compassionate or forgive self or others,
also led me to a shut down in my allowance to self to open and receive abundance.
 
My lesson in feeling,
was that in order to have my desires manifest in any fashion,
I needed to allow myself to “SOFTEN INTO THE FLOW OF FEELING LIFE.”
 
That my power came from this space,
You see in order for you to be able to KNOW YOUR PATH,
to FEEL what is right and good for YOU,
in order for you to be able to TRUST your judgement on any decision,
You must FEEL Your emotions, your physical reactions, your truth about it.
 
This means that if you are calloused to FEELING LIFE,
you will consistently make wrong choices for YOUR LIFE.
 
And this is not what living is about.
This is just existing.
 
And that is the WHY that you have been questioning.
WHY AM I NOT HAPPY?
Why does nothing make me happy?
 
Simple….
You are not FEELING LIFE.
 
Want to change this?
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Coaching Today and level up your life experience to one of FEELING.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
https://www.tantrictransformation.com/micro-consult/

Not Responsible for Your Emotions.

Oh love, why do you blame yourself for all that others have going on?

Why do you take responsibility for their emotions, 
their happiness, their joy?

Why do you stand there in all your power and let them deplete you so that they can feel stable yet again?

Oh love, this does nothing for you.
And even though it may appear for some split second that you are helping those you care about to be better, 
you are not truly assisting them.

You teach them nothing by your soothing of what is not yours to soothe.

And you know at your core how dangerous this soothing can be for your own well being, 
and for the relationship as well.

But, it is hard to not try and fix. 
It is difficult to say no. 
It feels harsh to state the truth, 
that it is NOT your responsibility for their whirlwind emotions. 
For their ebbs and flows. 
Their highs and lows. 
Their over thinking and worry.

Sure you can change who you are. 
You can say things as that they want to hear. 
You can pretend to be a way that is not in truth to your soul. 
And you can pretend. 
You can be that pretender and give them the “love” that they think is love and think they want from you.

That they deserve,
or that you should do if you truly cared. 
Truly loved them.

You could change every facit of yourself to meet the needs of another, 
and at the end of your attempts you would discover that they were still lost and now you are too.

And that is all that you would give them. 
The loss of who you are. 
The loss of your own soul
and direction. 
And you too my love, 
would then be like those that want this of us.
Lost, sad and masking.
Afraid to look deep within. 
And find what all of us must, ‘if we are to discover our truth, 
our happiness.

That my love is the simple, harsh reality. 
That no one on this planet is here to please another, 
other than the self. 
It is not your life requirement, 
to be responsible for another’s peace of mind, 
happiness or feeling love.

Just like it is not up to them to do this for you.
These things are ONLY found from within. 
And until they are found, 
by the seeker himself, 
deep within the caverns of their own mind and heart, 
they will never feel complete, 
never feel safe or without worry. 
They will continue to question the love offered, 
and look for every reason that it is not correct.

Yes my love, 
it is the truth of this matter, 
that no matter how much you love another, 
no matter how much you show up in truth, 
no matter how much you give of self, 
that you can never heal another.

You can never save them from their own demons. 
As false as they may be to you, 
these fears will continue to arise, 
until they learn how to shine the light into their own darkness, 
to soothe their own fears without destroying the world around them, 
and embrace that love that they believe they feel for you, 
because that love is what is inside awaiting them.
That love for you my dear, 
is only a sign of the greatness of love that they have for self once uncovered and embraced in its glory.

And it is this love that must be triggered from within and seen for it’s truth.

It is this peace, 
this joy, 
this feeling of bliss and freedom, 
that we experience in our relating that we must see for what it is.

It is HERE.
HERE with us always. 
It has NOTHING to do with another. 
It has EVERYTHING to do with self. 
The relationship is but only awakening us to it.
But, we never loose it. 
We are never without it.

And we are most certainly never responsible for managing another’s emotional or mental state.

No, my love. 
It is not your concern. 
It does not mean you are bad. 
Or evil. 
Or not loving. 
It simply means that you hold priority for the most valuable person in your life. 
That person who looks back at you from the mirror.

So keep stating your truth. 
Keep sharing your heart ,
and your soul.

Never allow another, 
no matter how far they crash, 
to steal you from yourself, 
in hopes of saving them.

You are worth so much love my dear. 
You are worth all that you carry in your heart. 
A thousand lifetimes worth. 
So step forward in faith my love, 
Step forward and keep CLAIMING YOU!

As Always, 
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

This is what you want in a partner.

From Guest Author Addison Bell

It’s all fun and games until you actually have to deal with the other side.

You sit and desire certain characteristics of those in your life, and especially out of a romantic partner. Yet, I daresay that many times you are asking for a mess of contradictions.

Its easy to look at some aspirational values and personality traits and think that this is exactly what you want to pull into your life but if you aren’t careful you will end up pulling in exactly what you don’t desire.

And the funny thing is that your Ego would probably throw a tantrum and say, “But I do do desire it, I do want that, I can hold that person” but in the end you really can’t handle it.

You might desire someone who is playful and has that flirty personality that makes you feel all bubbly inside… until they are flirty and playful with others and it smacks right into your jealousy and trust issues.

You might desire someone that knows how to act like a “lady” or “gentleman” when you are out in public and can hold the proper level of poise… until they are always poised and never able to let go of that persona (even in the bedroom).

You might desire someone that has their own life and is more free flowing with the relationship. Someone that isn’t that awful word “clingy”… until they can’t be there and support you the way that you need and you never truly feel held.

And really any trait that you desire in a partner is going to have the opposite side.

It is pretty commonly known from a psychological perspective that in relationships the aspects that often attract you to your partner are also the very same aspects that can cause the greatest struggle.

There is that old saying about how men should want a lady in the streets and a freak in the streets.

We want our partners to be both sides of a coin….
And most of the time it can mean the destruction of a relationship!

Now, thankfully we are complex beings and so are not one thing or the other. If you take the above example of having a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets… I know many women that are able to present one aspect of themselves when out at dinner parties and then turn around and have a mind-blowing sexual evening with a partner. Both are authentically them and both are aspects of who they ae.

Though these women have also worked through the stereotypes that come with both sides of the coin and know where they are authentically.

Though, lets be honest, yes I mean really honest here…

Most people are NOT doing deep personal work on a daily basis. And most people are not willing to look at when their ego’s arise in relationships. So when an aspect that is a turn on in one sense becomes a turn-off… we blame that other person. We don’t look at ourselves and where WE might be the ones that have unspoken expectations.

Many times we even struggle to admit where we struggle in relationships and where our ego’s simply can’t handle something.

You want a partner that is free, playful, open-minded but then when this pushes on your jealousy, your need for attention, and your belief that there is a certain way to “do” relationships…

Can you actually look yourself in the face or actually look that other person and say, “I don’t want you to be so free”. “I wish you weren’t so playful”, “I want you to be open-minded but just not about this topic”.

Most would look at the other person as the issue and not be able to truly say… “I am not able to hold this aspect of you”.

Again, we are complex and hold so many intricacies. Each person, situation, and experience will present a different expression of self. So what fits and is a desire with one partner or relationship could be entirely different than what fits and is a desire in another relationship.

In truth it all comes back (as always) to self and looking deep within ones self authentically. What are we desiring in our relationships? And then looking at if we truly could hold that characteristic in another if it presented to us. Where would our ego get shaken? What are non-negotiable in our relationships?

If you want freedom… how free?
If you want play… how playful?
If you want stable… how stable?
If you want sexy… how sexy?

What can you truly, honestly, at your core hold?
Get honest with yourself! And start doing your inner work to help you be able to look within when situations arise.

And more than even that…
Get honest with self when someone presents something that truly won’t fit with you and your life. Don’t pretend to be okay with something that is a hard NO. This will only push you further and further out of alignment from self.

Most importantly LOVE self first and foremost. When we do this we are most able to be authentic, honest, and love another. Even if the way we are loving that other is by letting them go and be who they are authentically.

Sending you all…

Love, Light, & Blessings,
Addison

It’s all a f-cking head game!

It’s all a f-cking head game!

Have you noticed?
Have you come to this conclusion?

I sure the f-ck have.
Here i sit on this sunny Dallas afternoon,
listening to music on the patio of some little cafe eating artichoke dip, having a glass of chardonnay.
The day is beautiful.
I have been blessed with amazing client appointments today.
Blessed with more support than I feel worthy of from family, friends and my lover.
I have been allowed and HAVE allowed
myself to simple just drop the effing reigns
of my life, the last month.

It feels like a lifetime has past.
I have fear.
I have doubt.
I have shame.

In sharing.
In writing this very musing to you.

Yet I know IT IS TIME.

I hear the call of my soul
Saying that I MUST.

I must take the step.
I must take the breath.
I must LET THE F-CK GO.

So very much has taken place the last month.
My world once again,
Has been shaken, rocked and flipped every which way.
Fear has penetrated my inner being on many days.
Causing me to hold myself back.
Back from being a f-ck yes to myself.
Back from doing what i know.
Back from being vulnerable and just revealing myself.
Back from CLAIMING my life.

2018.
Lord hold my hand and carry me sweet Jesus through this year.
A year that i KNOW i must find gratitude for.
A year so full of lessons.
A year from this VERY mortal human place I reside in at this moment has been perhaps the best and worst year of my existence.

I have shared some with you on the drama and trauma.
But this is a rabbit hole that keeps going.
I find myself questioning everything.

Trusting not anything.
I feel lost most days.
YET in the same breath i have great PEACE and a strange CERTAINTY.

How can i be both?

This is where it is folks.
Its all a f-cking mind game.

What do I mean by that?
I mean everyday.
Every f-cking day we make choices.
We choose if we let all the garbage of our lives suffocate us or if we plant our feet in the sunshine and sand and connect deeper to our SOUL MESSAGE.

We all have 10,000 reasons 
As to why the eff we allow ourselves to be destracted.
Distracted from what really matters.
And sure those crazy, emotional, emergency items that take up our days bang on our mind and hearts.
Sounding off like they should be primary focus.

But I ask you this.

Is that true?

For me at least,
When I really hone in on my TRUTH
I know the reality is that I am AVOIDING
MY Mother F-cking Calling.
I know that i am blocking my desires.
I know that I am resisting my GREATNESS.

I am doing this by letting myself get caught up in everything else.

By putting my attention on the things I don’t desire to manifest and claiming I have no choice.

I say I am tired.
I say I am out of my flow.
I say I am distracted.

Thats all BULLSHIT.

The reality is that I hit a new level of ME.
AND it scared the shit out of me.

How can I.
Little ol’ me.
Shine that bright.
Say that much.
Smile through the storm.
Laugh and orgasm,
While chaos runs around disrupting the world.
Wanting to disrupt mine.
Like a spoiled little 3 year old
Throwing its tantrum.

Who am I?
I need to just drop out of this light.
This flow.
This love.
And be NORMAL.

Do what is expected.
And just give in.

Well its been a month of that shit.
I fell.
I FELL F-CKING HARD.

And I FORGIVE myself for falling.
Now is the moment.
Take my hand
Lets fly together.

You got your shit.
I got mine.
Sure it stinks.

But it does not have to hold us back.
It does not have to be us.

Its all a f-cking mind game after all.
And I am making my mind up to CLAIM MY LIFE.

Rock it out and realize there is a reason for everything.
So LET IT GO.

AND 
As Always, 
Stop Existing & Start Living 

For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

Your Sh*t Will Set You Free!

Resistance is futile.
Our resistance to the life that we want is sheer craziness in itself.Yet we continue to do it.
We continue to just say NO,
to ourselves.
To our hearts and our souls.
We ask the question of , “Why do I not have this or that NOW?”
We insist that we are in alignment to it,
when we are far from it.

Wonder why the f*ck you have what you have?

It is because you are in alignment to this shit.
It is your shit.
The relationships that do not fully serve you.
The bank accounts that are not what you want them to be.
The debt and bills that seem to over take you.
The health that wavers.
The job that empties you.
The disconnectedness.

Yes.
It is ALL your’s baby.

Wonder why it is here?
Here in your life?

No matter how hard you resist it, it just keep showing up, huh?

Well that is because you are it.
Your inside world is manifesting and showing you EXACTLY where you are.

Not happy with it.
You say.
There is good news in the midst of this pile of shit.

YOU CAN change it.
But first you must STOP resisting it and just see it for where you are at.

The more you resist it, the more you call it in and jump in bed with it.
The more you connect to it and it feeds from you.

Fall in love with your shit.
This shit is the shit that your dreams are made of.
This shit is the shit that you need to get right with.
This shit is the shit that is in side of you.

It scares you.
It may even terrify you.
You may feel lost,
abandoned,
unloved and not worthy.
But this is here to help you through it.

God bless your shit!

We all have it.
We all don’t want it.
It is here though to serve a purpose.
To build our character, open our hearts, heal our souls and make us KNOW with certainty what we want and WHO we are.

Your soul is all that it can be, all that it can reveal up to this moment.

STOP looking for yourself.
You are HERE.
You are COMPLETE.

Your shit show’s that.
You are a GREAT manifester.
Look at all that you have called in.
Your life is reflecting your thoughts,
your fears,
your hopes,
your emotions.

Just look.
It is AMAZING.
Yes,
this shit.
It is all your’s.
It is here to help you meet you.
To show you where you are at.

STOP resisting.
Start loving.

Embrace your shit.
Find the JOY in it.
Find the perfection in it.
Find the ease in it.

Let go.

You know what you want.
The ONLY way to it,
is through your shit.

So STOP wondering,
Stop questioning.
Stop looking for the how too’s on getting what you want.
Just STOP the craziness of resistance.

You already have everything that you desire.
It is here.
It is coming.
Your soul know’s who you really are.
You are aligning more and more each day.

When you surrender.
When you open.
When you let go.

You will feel peace.
You will feel comfort.
You will feel certainty.
You will feel joy.
You will feel bliss.

You will JUST KNOW.
You will KNOW YOURSELF,

FINALLY.

Resistance is futile.
Resistance only slow’s you down.

Take your f*cking foot off the brakes BABY.

You deserve to have it ALL NOW.

LET GO.
Love your shit.

And as always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

Orgasms and Nerves

What happens in the brain during an orgasm?

Without nerves sending impulses back to the spinal cord and brain, an orgasm wouldn’t be possible. Just like any other area of the body, the genitalia contain different nerves that send information to the brain to tell it about the sensation that’s being experienced. This helps to explain why the sensations are perceived differently depending on where someone is being touched. A clitoral orgasm, for example, differs from a vaginal orgasm because different sets of nerves are involved.

Pleasure Center of the Brain: Light It Up

You may have heard that the brain has a pleasure center that lets us know when something is enjoyable and reinforces the desire for us to perform the same pleasurable action again. This is also called the reward circuit, which includes all kinds of pleasure, from sex to laughter to certain types of drug use. Some of the brain areas impacted by pleasure include:

  • amygdala – regulates emotions
  • nucleus accumbens – controls the release of dopamine
  • ventral tegmental area (VTA) – actually releases the dopamine
  • cerebellum – controls muscle function
  • pituitary gland – releases beta-endorphins, which decrease pain; oxytocin, which increases feelings of trust; and vasopressin, which increases bonding

Although scientists have long been studying the pleasure center, there hadn’t been much research about how it relates to sexual pleasure, especially in women. In the late 1990s and the mid-2000s, a team of scientists at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands conducted several studies of both men and women to determine brain activity during sexual stimulation. The team used PET scans to illustrate the different areas of the brain that would light up and shut off during sexual activity. In all of the tests, the subjects were scanned while resting, while being sexually stimulated and while having an orgasm.

Interestingly, they discovered that there aren’t too many differences between men’s and women’s brains when it comes to sex. In both, the brain region behind the left eye, called the lateral orbitofrontal cortex, shuts down during orgasm. Janniko R. Georgiadis, one of the researchers, said, “It’s the seat of reason and behavioral control. But when you have an orgasm, you lose control” [source: LA Times]. Dr. Gert Holstege stated that the brain during an orgasm looks much like the brain of a person taking heroin. He stated that “95 percent is the same” [source: Science News].

There are some differences, however. When a woman has sex, a part of the brain stem called the periaqueductal gray (PAG) is activated. The PAG controls the “flight or fight” response. Women’s brains also showed decreased activity in the amygdala and hippocampus, which deal with fear and anxiety. The team theorized that these differences existed because women have more of a need to feel safe and relaxed in order to enjoy sex. In addition, the area of the cortex associated with pain was activated in women, which shows that there is a distinct connection between pain and pleasure.

The studies also showed that although women m­ay be able to fool their partners into thinking they’ve had an orgasm, their brains show the truth. When asked to fake an orgasm, the women’s brain activity increased in the cerebellum and other areas related to controlling movement. The scans didn’t show the same brain activity of a woman during an actual orgasm.

But what about people who can’t reach orgasm at all?

Neither Here Nor There: Anorgasmia and Non-genital Orgasms

I­n some cases, we know what causes anorgasmia (the inability to reach orgasm). Drugs like Celexa, Zoloft and Paxil — known as SSRIs, or selective seratonin reuptake inhibitors — are often used to treat depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses. Like most drugs, however, they can have side effects. For some people, this includes sexual ones, including anorgasmia. But why? SSRIs can decrease the brain’s production of dopamine, the neurotransmitter that provides pleasurable feelings and reinforces a person’s desire to once again perform the action that brought him or her pleasure. Sometimes the problem goes away on its own, or it can be resolved by switching to a different antidepressant or taking another drug in addition to the SSRI. However, a small number of people experience post-SSRI sexual dysfunction (PSSD) that lasts for days, weeks, months or even years after discontinuing use of an SSRI. The cause of this dysfunction isn’t understood, as stopping the SSRI allows dopamine production to return to normal.

The Dutch studies about orgasms (mentioned earlier), along with others, have also been the basis for continuing research in helping women who are anorgasmic. Dr. Barry Komisaruk at Rutgers University is currently studying women who are anorgasmic and women who are constantly aroused sexually but are unable to reach orgasm. The latter group of women were each put in an MRI scanner where they could see their brain activity on a monitor. Their brain scans showed that the brain thought they were in fact constantly being sexually stimulated. The women then used imagery and other neurofeedback exercises to calm their brains. Dr. Komisaruk believes that anorgasmic women could also learn to read and react to their brain activity to try to reach orgasm.

Perhaps more unusual-sounding than orgasmia is the concept of orgasms that have nothing to do with the genitalia at all. Some people can orgasm from being touched in other places on the body, such as the nipples. In this case, researchers believe that the sensations in the nipples are transmitted to the same areas of the brain that receive information from the genitals. However, people have also reported actually feeling orgasms in other parts of their bodies, including their hands and feet. Several people have even described having orgasms in limbs that were no longer there. One reason may be the layout of the cortical homunculus, a map that shows how different places of the brain’s sensory and motor cortices correspond to the organs and limbs of the body. A person who feels an orgasm in a phantom foot, for example, may have experienced a remapping of the senses because the foot is located next to the genitals in the homunculus. The foot is no longer there to provide sensation, so the area for genital sensation took over the space.

Although we now know more about how orgasms impact the brain than ever before, there’s still a lot that we don’t know. For example, scientists are still debating the evolutionary reason behind the female orgasm. But it’s probably safe to say that most people aren’t too concerned about the “why” — they’d prefer to focus on the whos, whats and whens of sex.

Original ARTICLE on How Stuff Works

Picture Credit: 3D4MEDICAL.COM/GETTY IMAGES

The True Influence of Our Sexual Partners

We Become the People We Have Sex With

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I once read an article where the author said: “Never sleep with someone you don’t want to be.” Such a profound statement. In Tantric teachings it is also taught that all the people with whom we make love to, leave a trace into our being.

It’s likely that many have noticed how they have experienced varying degrees of pleasure, different orgasms and excitement with different partners in their life. Why is it though that with one partner we experience really powerful orgasms while with another partner the orgasms are either weak or non-existent? Usually it is said that it’s not a good match physically. Physical compatibility is of course important, but there’s a lot more in play here.

All of us hold both feminine and masculine energy and for our whole lives we seek to keep these two energies in balance. We are attracted to the opposite sex because they have what we need. Women share their feminine energy with men and men share their masculine energy with women. Those on the spiritual path aspire to the same experience through various practices like yoga, meditation, etc. We all subconsciously seek for it. Whenever we spend time with or have sex with the opposite gender the energies get balanced for a moment. The moment we experience an orgasm is the moment when masculine and feminine energies in our being are balanced – the plus and the minus have become zero. And this zero-point is different with different partners.

Our inner masculine

Let’s take a closer look at this process. As a woman my feminine side is more active and my masculine side is asleep, so to say. To awaken the masculine energy that lies dormant in me I need a man. Not every man though can awaken the masculine energy in me. The masculine in me is of a certain type – tantric teachings describe that he is the whole of our past lives that we lived as men and affected by men with whom we’ve had close relations with in this life. This means that my inner male has certain features and an appearance. To connect with my inner male it’s enough for me to look at what kind of men I’m attracted to – those who best match my inner male also awaken him the most in me.

Suppose there are two men: Marc and Dave. Marc awakens my inner man 50% and Dave 90%. We don’t experience powerful orgasms with Marc, but with Dave the sex is simply glorious. This means that Dave is very similar to my inner male. This shows for example that if I attract so called bad boys, my inner male also carries a similar energy. So if I’m more with the so-called good guys, my inner male is good as well. This means, that if we wish to attract a different type of a partner, we need to consciously work with changing our inner male.

The inner male can be changed through spiritual practices. For example if I purify my being, then my inner male gets purified with it. Or we can change our inner male by knowingly starting to spend time with the types of men we want to be like. This can be problematic at first as these types of men might not seem very attractive initially. This is why this needs to be a very conscious decision. If we consistently spend more time with good guys, then soon they won’t appear as boring, because our inner male has started to change. You don’t always need to have intercourse with these people; even spending time as friends is enough for our inner male to start picking up features from them. One moment you might notice that your taste in men has changed completely.
Exactly the same description of the process goes for men and their inner females. And naturally our inner male or female is similar to our father or mother, as people with whom we’ve spent a lot of time together. Oftentimes men seek for a woman similar to their mother as women seek for men similar to their father.

Women are receptive

There’s another important topic here that is good for women to know. When we live with certain types of men, our own being starts become like them – due to a simple principle that women receive and men give. This goes much deeper though. One of the re-occurring topics of relationships is women’s emotionality. It is as if men don’t have any emotions at all, they are peaceful and stable, while women have a constant storm of emotions. Both partners play an important role in all relationship situations. Women are by nature more sensitive and also more receptive. Many women have surely noticed how they are calm and balanced when living alone. Then they meet a man, spend some time together and suddenly it’s as if she’s another woman. How so? There is of course personal development in relationships and we push each other’s buttons, but there is more to this.

Men who have been taught to suppress their feelings since young have learned other ways to unload their emotions and one of those ways is sex. So where will they unload their emotions during sex? Into the woman of course, who energetically receives the man’s storm of emotions and stores it in her. The man feels relief while the woman can’t keep the storm inside her as it would damage the woman. The woman ends up expressing the man’s emotional storm and gets blamed for it.

Women who don’t express their emotions though, might get health problems. Cervical cancer is one example. This is the second most common cause of death for women after breast cancer, while there are only 30-40 cases per a large state of men dying due to penile cancer.

In an energetical level men release their stress into women, thus grounding themselves with sex, and women in their receptivity take it in. Our cervix is very receptive and delicate as our center of our femininity. This makes it important to check with whom to have intercourse with, what the underlying energy-exchange might be like and what will we be taking into our being. If it seems that the man uses sex only to discharge themselves, then a smart woman would decline of such sex.

Sexual intercourse is for balancing each other – where a woman gives tenderness, gentleness, sensitivity to the man and the man on his part offers balance, grounding and inner direction to the woman. Sexual energy should be used consciously for strengthening the relationship bond and creating more love energy. This is one of the differenciating characteristics of a tantric couple when compared to a so-called regular relationship – the tantric couple is conscious in both their relationship and their sexuality.

Sexual slackness is rather common in our society and has little to do with being conscious. When partners cheat on each other in a relationship, then even if they don’t understand it, they’ll be bringing energy from other people into their relationship. By having affairs, one collects other people’s energetic baggage and this ends up affecting their everyone and the relationship.

Successful businessman and author Jim Rohn has said: „You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Next time you’re about to have intercourse with someone ask yourself: would I want to be this person? Do I respect them or not? Do the qualities they carry in themselves make me a better person? How well do I even know this person?

Tantric Therapy, Katrin

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Kendal’s Notes on This Article

When a friend shared this article with me, I knew it was something I had to pass along to everyone. Tantric Practitioner, Katrin hits the nail on the head in this blog post.

I could do a workshop just on this concept it is so powerful and the true understanding goes into the spiritual and quantum physical realms. It is an ancient concept and one that I personally have prescribed to since I started my own healing work on myself many years ago in the land of sexuality.

Quick story: There is a man, he might even be reading this newsletter right now…lol – This man from the first time I met him rocked my sexual energy world. My body ignited from looking at him, from the smell of his scent, from his kiss and when he spoke with that Mathew McConaughey voice my knees quaked and my pussy got wetter. Our talks were always good, we laughed and enjoyed so many things in common. I spent almost 5 years trying to make the relationship work. I wanted truly nothing other than his friendship and some hot sex, which one would assume would be a slam dunk when the turn on is so high as it is and was with this man. However, the problem was that every time we went there I literally could not feel him and then the after math of our sexing was that I would become extremely hormonal, angry, depressed and even physically sick. My body would ache. I felt like a used old shoe that had been kicked under the bed to be forgotten. I felt like I was just that a “fuck” and not even a fuck buddy, but just some place for him to jack off into. I felt like a container for his stress and all the negativity and chaos he had going on in his life would just cast a nasty shadow on me for a few weeks after.

Why was this?
Because women are receptive. And because in all actuality I was nothing more than this for him, my heart and soul knew from the first time we had sex and my body tried to warn me, but my stubbornness persisted and I kept trying to fix what was never meant to be.

Try explaining that to someone when your breaking up….

Another quick tale: I was married for 17 years to the same man. Him and I had 5 children together, worked on building a business together, did the whole through tough times, sickness and health thing. We stuck it out the best we could in the face of everything that we created and tried running from. Around year 11 or 12 of our marriage things became really toxic. We had had issues in the past but we were now really lost at sea and it appeared that I had developed a case of some really bad depression, even bi-polarness and everyone told me that I needed medicine. I would fly off the handle at seemingly little things, I did not want anything to do with sex and then I was a raging horn dog, I would develop yeast infections, bladder infections, kidney infections, sinus infections and had migraines. I was constantly tired, over weight, and hated life. I was sad all the time and could not find the light at the end of any tunnel because there was no tunnel, the darkness had just consumed me. I did some really crazy ass shit in this 3 year time frame. I burned my wedding dress and ring, I axed our garage refrigerator, I got mad so took it out on a toilet and almost lost my finger, I karate chopped the Christmas tree with all the ornaments on it. I stripped and dared the cops to come get me as I walked sown the street. And I woke up everyday wishing I had not woke up. I was lost in misery.

Today, most people who know me would have a tough time believing I could ever do that. Looking back I can hardly believe that I did that stuff, because it is not inside me at all to act like that. So what was the cause of my chaos, depression and bi-polarness?

It’s what I was being down loaded with in my sex life from mu husband. Not blaming him here, for we both had no clue. But looking back, my body was begging me to stop infecting it with this chaos. It rebelled by giving me yeast infections, bladder infections and other chronic issues. It was trying to protect me. But I did my wifely duty and had sex.

Today, I lead a calm, turned on life. My ex- husband, still living in the chaos, depression and bi-polarness. He is still confused and lost .

Today I look at the men I choose to share myself with and they all are of higher vibrations, they are determined, driven, clear, smooth energy men. They love playfulness, the adore learning, they avoid chaos and drama, they maintain their emotions and work on themselves before pointing the finger outward. They are extraordinary gentlemen and they download into me with our sexing and orgasms a life that I want to live, a life that is full, harmonious and on purpose.

So, yes we DO become like the people we have sex with. So be cautious as to who you are regularly enjoying intimate moments with, because there is no other place like the bedroom where association means so much.

How to Unleash Your Feminine Power & Heal Your Vagina

individual-womanThis musing is intended for all the lovely women of the world but I am certain that many men out there will read this and for you incredible gentlemen who do please know that I would greatly appreciate your help if it crosses your heart to share this musing with the woman or women in your life. The power of this information is a must in our day and age and for human relationship in general.

For you lovely ladies, you are GODDESSES. Can you feel that divine beauty and power inside yourself or has the world of today so focused on the masculine style of living and doing masked you from your true grace and power? Let me ask you ladies this:

Are You A Woman Who Feels Stress/Tension/Blockages In Your Vagina or Core?

Let’s face it every day life is full of stress. If you are a mother like I am it can seem some days that you are lucky to get your teeth brushed let alone anything else. Add in the stress that many have of relationships that are troubled, financial concerns and pressures, career and any past trauma that may arise at any given moment it is amazing that we can focus on much of anything with out constant emotional or physical upheaval. All of these things when not properly processed in the mental/physical/emotional bodies can all lead to tension and blockages in our vagina’s and at our core. It is extremely important to cleanse, rejuvenate & reactivate positive healing energy to these zones of discord. But How can we do this on a daily basis in a comfortable, easy to manage way?

Are You One Of Many Women Who Want To Come Back into and/or Unleash Their Sensuality And Femininity

Today’s world finds us in a time of transition. We have so many men and women who are feeling lost and long deeply for real, authentic connection, yet do not know how to achieve this. Women have been programmed to believe that living in a masculine, focused, driving and striving for material success form is the way to be. This form of being has created a world of women who are more masculine then feminine. It has created a world where we women feel that being feminine means being overly emotional, unstable and powerless. It has created the idea that the only way to true success and value in life is to act in the energy of what men do instead of allowing ourselves the power of our hearts to create, dance, love and be women.

Sensuality is almost a lost art for many women. Many of us have become technical in our loving and sexing skills and are afraid to let our divine sensual nature out. Yet it is this nature that is our TRUE power!But how do we allow ourselves to be feminine, soft, emotional, sensual, trusting and do I dare even say it VULNERABLE in this day and age without losing ourselves to a man who wants to control or a world that says that we cannot or should not be this way?

Are You A Woman Who Feels Numbness/Tension or Stiffness In And Around Your Genitals

I personally spent years with this issue. I pushed myself to have painful sex with my partner even when I knew I would be in pain for the next week from it. I tried to ignore the constant onset of vaginal discomfort, dryness and even yeast infections because I had tried everything I could to heal these issues with no luck. And what I discovered was that every part of my body (just like yours) corresponds to my emotional and spiritual state of being. I discovered that all the creams, medical treatments and the ignoring of patterns only added on to my problems and were not real cures to what was actually happening at a much deeper level then my physical body. I had to do something out of my box of comfort to once and for all heal my body or I was destined to live in a state of misery. So what did I do and is it something that any woman in any state of being can duplicate for herself to heal as well? Is it something that can be achieved quickly, easily and naturally?

Are You Woman Who Feels Guilt/Shame/Fear Or Has Experienced Trauma In Your Life

Many women have stored negative and/or fearful emotions or trauma within their vagina yet traditional western medicine and styles of living DO NOT want to approach this topic. The biggest issue with the way many of us have been raised is that we have these stored experiences without knowing or realizing it, matter a fact we do not even want to accept it because it means dealing with our girly parts and that is just not acceptable. After all they are dirty, forbidden and only really for procreation. We certainly do not openly get education or training on how to heal them naturally or admit that there may be something wrong that we need help with. Yet we can accept without any issue at all that we get tension headaches, or feel stress in our backs, necks and shoulders. We understand that getting an ill feeling in our gut is a sign that perhaps something is not right, but how can our vagina’s have this inner knowing and voice too? And do they really store negative energy and emotions like all our other body parts? The result of ignoring this is a tense, sore, non or infrequently orgasmic vaginaSo how can we heal this?

Are You A Woman Who Has Had Children and Wants to Restore Your Vaginal Health & Strength

Anyone who has had a child or children knows that it takes some time to recover from delivery. Even if you had a C-section your womb needs time to heal and restore itself back to a pre-delivery/pregnancy state. In general with daily maintenance it takes at least 9 month to 18months to fully heal from the birth of a baby. Often, during this time many women have a tough time doing daily vaginal exercises and do not fully understand the importance of them anyway, leaving them years later with weak bladders, weak vaginal walls, PC muscles, painful cervix’s and weak to no orgasms along with many other issues such a out whack pH levels, imbalanced hormones and what is known of as the mummy tummy. So how can you prevent and/or even reverse these issues and more without surgery or major challenges?

Are You One Of The Many Women Who Want To Experience Better, Painless and More Frequent Orgasms

Hard to orgasm even with a vibrator or is with a vibrator the ONLY way you can? Lack of interest in sex? You just cannot produce the lubrication that you use too so sex is painful? You wish you could feel your partner more but you just feel dead down there? These are all issues that I personally have experienced and I know through the coaching of hundreds of women that they are common as well. So are there treatments outside of pills, man-made lubricants that don’t really work and cause the delicate pH levels of the vagina to become out of balance as well, or other pharmaceutical treatments that can REALLY help in healing and curing these issues as well as stimulate better orgasms even G-spot orgasms?

Are You A Woman Who Wants To Heal Their Mind, Body & Soul Holistically

Through ancient Chines/Taoist and Tantric practices you can experience a fully healed, charged and orgasmic state of being in ALL areas of your life. By opening up to cleansing and removing the blockages of your vagina through a few self-practice treatments done daily or weekly at home you can have the life that you have always wanted. Restoring vaginal health, strength and well being. You can harmonize your emotions and hormones. You can discover better orgasms. You can heal vaginal health issues without drugs. Reduce PMS symptoms as well as menopause.

Yes you have the opportunity to learn these 5000 year old secrets of high priestesses, queens, sexually liberated women from deep in the heart of time that WILL for certain change your life and allow you to lead a liberated, shame free, powerful, orgasmic state of being.

So the ONLY question now is: Are You Ready To Heal and Say YES to YOURSELF?

If you answer yes then please note that there are two ways for you to learn these secrets and more for your vaginal health and strength. 1) Private Coaching with Kendal 2) The Power of Vaginal Weight Lifting and Other Sexual Secrets Workshop Email me direct to find out if a class in session soon and more about 1+1 Coaching. tantrictransformation@gmail.com

Are Negative Emotions Blocking Your Drive?

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Humans experience an array of emotions, anything from happiness, to sadness to extreme joy and depression. Each one of these emotions creates a different feeling within the body. After all, our body releases different chemicals when we experience various things that make us happy and each chemical works to create a different environment within the body. For example if your brain releases serotonin, dopamine or oxytocin, you will feel good and happy. Convexly, if your body releases cortisol while you are stressed, you will have an entirely different feeling associated more with the body kicking into survival mode.

What about when we are thinking negative thoughts all the time? Or how about when we are thinking positive thoughts? What about when we are not emotionally charged to neither positive nor negative? Let’s explore how these affect our body and life.

POSITIVE VS. NEGATIVE

Is there duality in our world? Sure, you could say there is to a degree, but mostly we spend a lot of time defining and judging what is to be considered as positive and what we consider to be as negative. The brain is a very powerful tool and as we define what something is or should be, we begin to have that result play out in our world. Have you ever noticed, for example that someone driving can get cut off and lose their lid, get angry and suddenly they are feeling negative, down and in  bad mood? Whereas someone else can get cut off while driving and simply apply the break slightly and move on with their day as if nothing happened. In this case, the same experience yet one sees it as negative while the other doesn’t. So are things innately positive and negative? Or do we define things as positive and negative?

CUT THE PERCEPTIONS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE

After thinking about it for a moment you might realize that there are in fact no positive or negative experiences other than what we define as such. Therefore our very perception of an experience or situation has the ultimate power as to how we will feel when it’s happening and how our bodies will be affected. While we can always work to move beyond our definitions of each experience and move into a state of mind/awareness/consciousness where we simply accept each experience for what it is and use it as a learning grounds for us, we may not be there yet and so it’s important to understand how certain emotions can affect our health.

“If someone wishes for good health, one must first ask oneself if he is ready to do away with the reasons for his illness. Only then is it possible to help him.” ~Hippocrates

MIND BODY CONNECTION

The connection between your mind and body is very powerful and although it cannot be visually seen, the effects your mind can have on your physical body are profound. We can have an overall positive mental attitude and deal directly with our internal challenges and in turn create a healthy lifestyle or we can be in negative, have self destructive thoughts and not deal with our internal issues, possibly even cloak those issues with affirmations and positivity without finding the route and in turn we can create an unhealthy lifestyle. Why is this?

Our emotions and experiences are essentially energy and they can be stored in the cellular memory of our bodies. Have you ever experienced something in your life that left an emotional mark or pain in a certain area of your body? Almost as if you can still feel something that may have happened to you? It is likely because in that area of your body you still hold energy released from that experience that is remaining in that area. I came across an interesting chart that explores some possible areas that various emotions might affect the body.

When you have a pain, tightness or injuries in certain areas, it’s often related to something emotionally you are feeling within yourself. At first glance it may not seem this way because we are usually very out of touch with ourselves and our emotions in this fast paced world, but it’s often the truth. When I’ve had chronic pains in my back, knees, neck or shoulders, it wasn’t exercise, physio or anything in a physical sense that healed it, it was when I dealt with the emotions behind it. I know this because I spent the time and money going to physio and even though I wanted and believed I would get better, something wasn’t being addressed still. The more I addressed the unconscious thought pattern and emotions throughout my body, the more thins loosened up and pain went away. When you get sick or are feeling a lot of tightness and pain, often times our body is asking us to observe yourself and find peace once again within yourself and your environment. It’s all a learning and growing process we don’t have to judge nor fear.

YOU HAVE THE POWER

Davis Suzuki wrote in ‘The Sacred Life’, ‘condensed molecules from breath exhaled from verbal expressions of anger, hatred, and jealousy, contain toxins. Accumulated over 1 hr, these toxins are enough to kill 80 guinea pigs!’ Can you now imagine the harm you are doing to your body when you stay within negative emotions or unprocessed emotional experience throughout the body? Remember, you have all the power in you to get through anything life throws at you. Instead of labeling with perception the concepts of negative and positive as it relates to each experience you have in your life, try to see things from a  big picture standpoint. Ask yourself, how can this help me to see or learn something? Can I use this to shift my perception? Clear some emotion within myself? Realize something within another and accept it? Whatever it may be, instead of simply reacting, slow things down and observe. You will find you have the tools to process emotions and illness quickly when you see them for what they are and explore why they came up. If you believe you will get sick all the time, and believe you have pain because it’s all out of your control, you will continue to have it all in an uncontrollable manner until you realize the control you have over much of what we attract within the body. Credits: Joe Martino of Collective Evolution Original Posting of Article @ The Mind Unleashed

Photo Credit to Awesome Mind Secrets

Transmission from Pleiadians about sexuality

“When the library of yourselves was torn from the shelves and scattered, and the DNA was split so that there were only two strands left with very little data and very little memory, sexuality was left intact in the physical body. It was left as a form of reproduction, of course—as a form for the species to stay in touch with its own essence and bring itself into life. Very deep inside the mechanism of sexuality is a frequency that can be attained that has been sought after and misunderstood by many people. It is called orgasm. The orgasm has been distorted from its original purpose. Your body has forgotten the cosmic orgasm of which it is capable because society has taught you for thousands and thousands of years that sexuality is bad. You have been taught this in order for you to be controlled and to keep you from seeking the freedom available through sexuality. Sexuality connects you with a frequency of ecstasy, which connects you back to your divine source and to information.  Sexuality has been given a bad name upon this planet, and that bad name is stored in your cellular memory. This is not just from this lifetime; it is from thousands of years of misappropriation and misuse. It is necessary for you to clear the negativity surrounding sexuality from this lifetime, as well as to experience and examine how you utilize sexual energy and sexual expression in your multidimensional selves. The sexual parts of the body are avenues to pleasure that create frequencies that heal and stimulate the body and potentially lead it to its higher spiritual self. Sexuality is so misunderstood on this planet that, when it is exchanged between two persons, very seldom is there an intent to connect spirituality with it. Sexuality invokes a spirituality that is free and that looks at itself as a creator. However, very seldom is sexuality used as a bridge to take you to higher levels of consciousness.

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We have spoken with a number of individuals who have been utilizing light. Since finding the proper partner in a monogamous situation, they have been able to achieve very high states of being. Monogamy tends to work for most of you very well because of where you are vibrationally. When you have many partners, you tend to be less than honest and to hide who you are: you share a little here, there, and everywhere in scattering your seed. It is best to be with one person, but this does not mean the same person forever. Be loyal, be open, and be sharing with the person you are working with, and go as far as you can with them. If it happens to be your whole life, wonderful. If it doesn’t, then when you come to a place where you are no longer communicating and serving one another, and you feel the relationship is not going to be able to make a leap, terminate the relationship and find another person who works with your vibration.

When you work one-on-one intimately, you develop trust. Most of you have difficulty trusting yourselves because you don’t have a role model for trust. You can learn about trust in a relationship because a relationship acts as a mirror for you, showing you what you cannot see from your own viewpoint. It shows you yourself outside of yourself when you have open communication within sexuality and deep intimacy, and when you are not using sexuality as a distraction for getting close. Many of you have used sexuality as a distraction and a way to avoid intimacy rather than to develop it. You begin to get energetic and to look into one another’s eyes and to feel all hot and excited. Then, instead of exploring each other intimately and spiritually, you shut down your feeling centers, put on your armor, and have shallow, genital sex because it is too frightening and too intense to go the deeper route of full body and full spiritual connection. Sometimes hot sex feels great and is wonderful. We are simply saying that there is more. There is much more, and no one is keeping it from you except yourselves and the beliefs and fear you have of letting down your boundaries and walls. Many of the fears you have are based on what you have created for yourselves and what you have done to others in your sexual life. Your sexual history affects every other portion of your soul, so all of your soul’s issues are broadcast loud and clear throughout your body. You don’t want to look at this sometimes because it is too painful, and you judge it because you think it is bad. Stop judging, and get neutral about what you have done—no matter what you discover, no matter how heinous it seems, no matter how difficult it seems, and no matter how much violation it involves. Understand that your purpose has been to gather data and to understand your selves. Sexuality is a frequency. It represents what was not taken away from you even though your history, your memories, and your identity were removed and scattered. The way you were left intact with the ability to discover who you were was through the sexual experience. Of course, you were never taught this. We are going to do some church bashing here. So sorry for anyone who is a member of the churches. The churches came about as organizations—businesses to control religion and spiritual development and to create jobs, to create a hierarchy, and to create a club. Very few churches came about with the idea of bringing information to people. You don’t usually think of religion as something that keeps you informed, do you? Any religion that brings information is a religion operating on the vibration of truth. Spiritual realms are places of existence that the human body is locked away from. Because sexuality was an opportunity for human beings to regain their memory, or to connect with their spiritual selves and spiritual creator, or to find an avenue to the spiritual realm that you are sealed off from, the churches came about and promoted sexuality for procreation. They taught you that the only reason you had sexuality was to produce little humans. Sexuality was promoted as something very bad. Women were told that sexuality was something they had to undergo to serve men and that they had no control over the birthing process. Women believed this; hence, to this day, you believe in general that you have no control over that portion of your body. You must realize that only you decide whether you are going to birth a child or not. This is not such a complicated thing as you have been told. Decision and intention are what bring the experience to your being. You can control whether you have a baby or not. If woman had had this ability for the last several thousand years, and if she had been able to explore her sexual self without fear of having a child, perhaps men and women would have discovered that they were much freer than they had been told they were. The discovery of the highest frequency of sexuality arises from the love experience. It has nothing to do with relationships being either homosexual or heterosexual. It has to do with two human beings bringing pleasure to one another in a way that opens frequencies of consciousness. You have bought many ideas about what is proper and what is improper within sexual expression.

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Love is the essence that is to be created in all relationships. If you love and honor someone, it doesn’t matter what your composition of density is. What matters is the love vibration and how you explore this love, which ideally is gifted and coupled with the integration of the male and the female counterparts that make the twin flame.

Ideally, sexuality is explored through feelings. The third and fourth chakras connect you to the emotional and compassionate selves, which connect you to the spiritual self. The spiritual self is the part of yourself that is multidimensional through which you exist in many forms simultaneously. It is your assignment and agreement and task to be aware of all these realities in the identity that you are. When you are aware, you can tune into the different frequencies, remember who you are, and change the vibratory rate of this universe. We love to talk about sexuality because it is so mysterious upon this planet. Certain mystery schools have held some of the knowledge about the potential uses of sexuality in secrecy. You are electromagnetic creatures, and when you come together physically with another human creature, you bond your electromagnetic frequencies together. When your frequencies are attuned and joined by a love frequency, incredible things can occur. Thousands of years ago, when society had more of a matriarchal view in certain areas of the planet, Goddess energy was coming through and working with certain individuals. The female understood her power, her intuition, her feeling center, her connection, and her desire to create life. She also understood that she never had to conceive a child if it was not her intention to do so.

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In order for the patriarchal society to come full circle and prepare Earth for this shift in consciousness, female energy needed to take a back seat. So female power, energy, and understanding of sexuality were suppressed. In modern times—the past two thousand years—it came to be upon the planet that women believed they had no control over when they could have children, that sexuality was deemed bad and disgusting, and that sex was taught to be performed only within the rights of marriages and so on. All of this was a marketing program.

Some of the present-day marketing programs to create an even greater fear of sexuality and its expression are the new diseases: AIDS, herpes, and all the other things. You read about these things in your newspapers and become frightened of your own expression, frightened of your own intuition, and frightened of your own joy. Do you understand? Before DNA was rearranged, the way many people reached the higher realms and were able to climb the ladders of themselves and reach into off-planet frequencies was by electromagnetically bonding through love. They created a rocketship-like experience to propel them out into other systems of reality. This has been one of the best-kept secrets upon the planet. Many we have spoken to have had absolutely profound experiences with their sexuality. We would like to point out again that we are not making distinctions or judgments about who you happen to bond with in a relationship, and we suggest that you give up that judgment as well. It is old programming. It does not matter whether you bond with a member of the opposite sex or a member of your own sex. We are talking about two humans coming together by physically joining themselves in whatever ways are appropriate for them to join and create love, because they are sharing love. When integrity and love are missing from a joining of human bodies, that is when human beings do not think well of their experience. This can create all kinds of damaging results within the physical body. You were left with the frequency of the orgasmic experience in sexuality so that you could remember your higher identity. When this energy or history of yourself is revealed and you discover who you are, you will unite many bodies of your personal multidimensional identity in your physical form. To receive the full impact of the gridwork of your identity, let the twelve helixes fit in your body and allow the light-encoded filaments to rearrange themselves. This process has to do with the mental body, which is of course connected to the physical body. The emotional body, which is connected to the spiritual body, is the body that everybody wants to skip. You say, “I want to evolve. I want a rapid acceleration, but I do not want to go through the feeling center to do it.” You are connected to your multidimensional selves through your feelings, and it is in your feelings that you primarily get stuck. Accept that your “stuff” comes up for a reason. Many of you would like to bury your “stuff” and throw it out in the trash as if it is something ugly and not who you are. This “stuff” is the shadow portion of your identity that you don’t like to deal with or accept. We understand that sometimes, when something comes up, you label it and say, “I hate this part of myself. I want to just finish it and sweep it under the rug and forget it. I’m finished with this stuff.” Guess what. Your “stuff”—your issues—are the treasures of your life. They are how you learn. You have agreed to mutate, to pull light into your body, and to birth the family of light on this planet. Since light is information, you must deal with all of the things you have hidden from yourself. Sexuality is the primary issue because it is the secret self—the self you hide from. Society has said to you, “This is good. This is bad. You are to do this. You are not to do this.” Who gave you these laws? Who gave you any of your laws to begin with? You have been stuck because you can’t read the symbols of the language you are speaking to yourselves. So you dwell upon it. Many of you love your stories because they get you attention. If you didn’t have a story, who would talk to you? Observe your body and see what it is teaching the self. Ideally, you will heal the sore and create a place of greater comfort and joy as you learn to dwell more completely in your physical body and have a new identity of your sexuality.

Sexuality is a key. It is a doorway to the higher realms of consciousness. As you redefine yourselves, and the light-encoded filaments give you a new definition of yourselves, you are going to change who you are sexually as well. Sexuality must come up for all of you, and, we will say from experience, it is the area that you are most frightened of at this time. We guarantee there will be more frightening areas later. If you are stuck on the idea of love and cannot comprehend what is going on with it, your difficulty is that you are looking for love outside yourself. You are looking for somebody else to put meaning in your life and validate you. If you do not have that person, you become angry or feel you are worthless. This is a pattern you grew up with, which your parents and your society showed you. We have said over and over again that the most important thing you can do is love yourself and honor Earth. But you keep forgetting this and looking for the next relationship to make you whole or complete. You feel that without a relationship you are perhaps less than an acceptable citizen. Then you feel lonely. You must learn how to be alone. Loneliness is simply a state of mind. You are never, never alone. You have multitudes of entities around you. If you would stop feeling sorry for yourselves, you would find that there is so much data constantly being blasted at you that you may want to be alone so you can have a good time receiving the contact. When you love yourself and stop getting convoluted about the need to have someone else love you, you are able to accept what someone offers. It is imperative that you value yourself so that you do not settle for a love disguised. If you decide to go for a partner or to vibrate with someone, and you do not receive what you want, do not whine or nag or pout about the person to make them change according to your needs. If you set a value for yourself and do not create it, then simply change your reality and continue onward alone until you meet someone who reflects your value. All the while, vibrate in the love of the self, honor the self, and understand that the journey here is about self discovery in relationship to others. It is not just about husbands or wives. The journey here is about honoring your physical body and the uniqueness of the self as you touch the lives of many. Always allow yourself to work with the self and let the self evolve. You are all afraid of being intimate with yourselves—of being alone with the self. Once you develop an intimacy, a silence, a self-love, and a containment of your energy, then you will want to make that aspect of intimacy your standard for intimacy with someone else.

Sexuality can be very confusing at this time because you are raising and studying your frequencies. When you join bodies, even when you hug one another, you exchange frequency. When you have a sexual experience, there is a hormonal release inside the body. The hormones awaken certain energies inside the cells, and there is a transference of one person’s essence onto the other person. That is why when you have had sexual experiences with someone you sometimes cannot get their energy off you. Even though you don’t want to be with the person, the sexual experience stays with you because you have had an electromagnetic exchange. You are going through this frequency modulation and learning how to raise your frequency to a place of consistent information, self-love, and self-intimacy. Therefore, it can seem very confusing and sometimes frightening to take this vulnerable thing you are learning about yourself and layer up and merge with another. The more you become aware, the more you take charge of how you use your body, where you plug it in, where you sit it down, and certainly who you mix it with sexually.

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If expressing yourself sexually now encouraged your greatest growth, you would automatically create that experience for yourself because you would be ready for it. Understand that, during the process of evolving the self, very often a period of dormancy in sexual activity occurs. Within the sexual frequency, you exchange with one another. So if you are bonding yourself and chemically exchanging with a person who is not of your likeness, you are taking on their garbage because you are exchanging energy quite intimately. Sometimes you will be led away from that kind of exchange. You may think, “Oh, my goodness, what is happening? Am I turning old? Am I drying up? What is going on?” That is not the case. You can learn to use the energy that would stimulate you sexually without giving it over to another person. Instead of getting chaotic and crazy, you may explore that energy by practicing the art of masturbation, knowing that it is perfectly legitimate and fine to do it. Or, you may want to simply observe that you feel a sexual arousal and decide what you are going to do with it. You may say, “Well, I’m not going to act on this now. Let’s see where this energy goes.” Take the energy, let it rise through your body, and use it in other areas. You will get to a point when you must adore, sustain, and love yourself as if you are holding yourself like a newborn babe in your own arms, knowing you will do the best for yourself. Many of you distract yourselves. Find the place of serenity and silence in which you can find answers. You cannot find answers by dialing the telephone all day long and asking everyone else for them. If you attempt to, you are demonstrating that you are looking outside of yourself. When you learn how to turn within to find answers, the self will speak. Usually you cannot hear because you are locked in behavioral patterns that you know you have to change but that you don’t want to change because you don’t know who you will be. In all honesty, you are afraid of yourselves. This is a very common thing. You are afraid you will not be complete, and you want to be complete very much. So you say, “I am complete. I am sovereign. I need someone else. I am attracted to someone. Oh, no, I cannot look. I am too frightened of that. I don’t need anyone. I do need someone.” You go back and forth. Learn to still your mind. Learn to become completely in charge of your energy. What does that mean? It means that wherever you are, you observe yourself—how your body is positioned, how you are using your hands, whether you are repeating yourself over and over again, whether you are speaking or silent. Learn to watch yourself with no judgment. Learn to watch and self correct by determining how you would like to be versus how you are. Learn to quiet your mind. Frequency is carried from you to another person particularly if there is a love bonding. A love bonding does not mean that you are going to cleave to one another forever. It simply means that you are in a relationship for however long you deem that relationship appropriate in that you honor one another and exchange energies and let the energies flow as if through open circuitry. When you do not love another and you are not bonded, there is no exchange; the circuitry does not open. It does not mean that you cannot have good sex; it simply means that the circuitry is not open. As this electrical current is raised higher and higher, there are greater heights of orgasmic experience that the human body can receive because the nervous system is able to handle the higher ecstatic frequencies. The nervous system will determine how you express yourself and how you feel. If you have a poorly evolved nervous system, your sexual experience will be very limited because the nervous system conducts the electrical current. The orgasmic experience brings about a healing and realignment of the physical body.

image Eventually, you will not be able to get close to or be with someone who is not operating at the same voltage you are. You simply will not fit. It would be like putting a size nine foot into a size two shoe. It won’t work or be comfortable. You won’t fit because you won’t be able to merge vibrationally. You will eventually understand the importance of vibrational nourishment as you begin to link sexually. Linking sexually is only one way of merging with people who are moving at the same or a compatible voltage rate. Your reality is very interesting to us because you have so many clues in your waking world. When you go to a foreign country, your electrical appliances do not plug in. They don’t fit, so you need an adapter. It would be stressful if you had to continuously adapt to a vibration when you were involved intimately in a sexual relationship. It would be too much effort. You would spend all your energy creating the adaptive mechanisms. Then you would be in denial and not give yourself permission to go further because you would lower the ceiling.

The sixties marked the opening of sexual exploration. In an instant, the paradigm shifted. Much of the energy that was on the planet at that time, coupled with the experimental ingestion of different mind-altering substances, immediately made a new paradigm and split you from previous generations. The boundaries were instantly changed. You were split from a generation that believed in war and did not feel—a generation whose sexual expression was done in the dark, perhaps with many clothes on. You broke the paradigm wide open in many ways, and you set new trends and created new ways of being. It was wonderful. “Oh, goodness, free sex and love and bodies showing!” you said. Now it is time for a whole new revolution through which you will become vibrationally hooked to a person. There will be no more distractions of sexuality and no more pretending that you are without hang-ups—that you are sexually liberated because you can be in this position and that position and say this and do that. That is simply body aerobics in the area of sexuality. We want you to get into the aerobics and contortions of the soul—the vibration. The depth of two people coming together and linking in this capacity is what you all crave. If you are frightened of it, it is because you don’t have a framework or role model for it. You must design one. You must trust that somehow the energy in the design of the cosmic blueprint will instantly bring about a new movement based on the desire for this next step of understanding yourselves. You will remember with great clarity your expressions of sexuality in your different manipulations through reality—when you have been both men and women and explored sexuality in every aspect. It takes courage to do this. If there is one area in which you really judge yourselves, and in which the planet does great judging, it is sex. You have had some definite ideas about what is sexually proper and improper. So, many of you may be shocked to remember what you have done with your sexuality. Understand that, on this planet, sexuality has always been the body’s link to its higher frequency. Even though much of the data was scattered and disassembled in the body, this potential to create life remained for you to completely understand who you are at the base of your being and at the core of who you are. Sexual vibration has been your link with your cosmic identity, but this whole concept has been completely misunderstood and lost. We are simply saying that there is a bigger story and that it is much more exciting than anyone has dared to believe. There were those who did not want you to be in tune with these frequencies because the sexual frequencies could have taken you to areas of liberation where you would have begun to figure things out. Sexuality was left as a frequency for you to ride through the nervous system and connect with the higher mind by going out of your body. If you had been told that this was the route out, who could have controlled or manipulated you? The population must clear the negative connotations and judgments that have colored your sexual experience for eons. You must make peace with sex in order to integrate the frequencies and identity. Things have been manipulated and given a boundary of limitation so that the truth of sexuality has been kept from you. You have been told that you can procreate with it and have orgasms, but you have not been told that you can open frequencies with it. You can come into contact and use it as a method of remembering who you are and altering the vibrational frequency of your body. In the next few years, your expression of sexuality will have a whole new dimension. You will evolve and grow, provided that you have a partner who is willing to take the same route and to be that open. But if you are with someone who wants to play the avoidance game or the game of denial, you will not get there.”

– via Barbara Marciniak, from the book “Bringers of the Dawn”

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ORIGINAL POSTING