Not Responsible for Your Emotions.

Oh love, why do you blame yourself for all that others have going on?

Why do you take responsibility for their emotions, 
their happiness, their joy?

Why do you stand there in all your power and let them deplete you so that they can feel stable yet again?

Oh love, this does nothing for you.
And even though it may appear for some split second that you are helping those you care about to be better, 
you are not truly assisting them.

You teach them nothing by your soothing of what is not yours to soothe.

And you know at your core how dangerous this soothing can be for your own well being, 
and for the relationship as well.

But, it is hard to not try and fix. 
It is difficult to say no. 
It feels harsh to state the truth, 
that it is NOT your responsibility for their whirlwind emotions. 
For their ebbs and flows. 
Their highs and lows. 
Their over thinking and worry.

Sure you can change who you are. 
You can say things as that they want to hear. 
You can pretend to be a way that is not in truth to your soul. 
And you can pretend. 
You can be that pretender and give them the “love” that they think is love and think they want from you.

That they deserve,
or that you should do if you truly cared. 
Truly loved them.

You could change every facit of yourself to meet the needs of another, 
and at the end of your attempts you would discover that they were still lost and now you are too.

And that is all that you would give them. 
The loss of who you are. 
The loss of your own soul
and direction. 
And you too my love, 
would then be like those that want this of us.
Lost, sad and masking.
Afraid to look deep within. 
And find what all of us must, ‘if we are to discover our truth, 
our happiness.

That my love is the simple, harsh reality. 
That no one on this planet is here to please another, 
other than the self. 
It is not your life requirement, 
to be responsible for another’s peace of mind, 
happiness or feeling love.

Just like it is not up to them to do this for you.
These things are ONLY found from within. 
And until they are found, 
by the seeker himself, 
deep within the caverns of their own mind and heart, 
they will never feel complete, 
never feel safe or without worry. 
They will continue to question the love offered, 
and look for every reason that it is not correct.

Yes my love, 
it is the truth of this matter, 
that no matter how much you love another, 
no matter how much you show up in truth, 
no matter how much you give of self, 
that you can never heal another.

You can never save them from their own demons. 
As false as they may be to you, 
these fears will continue to arise, 
until they learn how to shine the light into their own darkness, 
to soothe their own fears without destroying the world around them, 
and embrace that love that they believe they feel for you, 
because that love is what is inside awaiting them.
That love for you my dear, 
is only a sign of the greatness of love that they have for self once uncovered and embraced in its glory.

And it is this love that must be triggered from within and seen for it’s truth.

It is this peace, 
this joy, 
this feeling of bliss and freedom, 
that we experience in our relating that we must see for what it is.

It is HERE.
HERE with us always. 
It has NOTHING to do with another. 
It has EVERYTHING to do with self. 
The relationship is but only awakening us to it.
But, we never loose it. 
We are never without it.

And we are most certainly never responsible for managing another’s emotional or mental state.

No, my love. 
It is not your concern. 
It does not mean you are bad. 
Or evil. 
Or not loving. 
It simply means that you hold priority for the most valuable person in your life. 
That person who looks back at you from the mirror.

So keep stating your truth. 
Keep sharing your heart ,
and your soul.

Never allow another, 
no matter how far they crash, 
to steal you from yourself, 
in hopes of saving them.

You are worth so much love my dear. 
You are worth all that you carry in your heart. 
A thousand lifetimes worth. 
So step forward in faith my love, 
Step forward and keep CLAIMING YOU!

As Always, 
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Love Hurts Some Days

Love Hurts Some Days.

“My chest hurts.
It is tight and full. 
It is harboring a pain that I do not want to feel. 
It is this haunting level of fear. 
I sit here staring into the fire, 
with a prayer in my mind, 
with uncertainty in my being.
And a sensation of knowing.

Not the sort of knowing that any of us want to have. 
No a knowing that something is wrong.
My gut is in knots.
My back is tense.
My chest feel like it is being stabbed.

The burning.
The burning of flames that I am lost in mediation will do nothing more than give visualization to the tremendous amount of heated pain that I feel. “

This was my journal entry just yesterday. 
The shocking reality that I was hit with through the last week of my life was just how deeply I cared for someone that I have been resisting.

And the beautiful opportunity that has been presented to me to heal my own heart and also another’s yet again in this saga I call my life.

Love f-cking hurts some days at a level that we cannot fathom. It grabs a hold of us sometimes in a flicker, makes us warm and full of butterflies. Then at other times is creeps its way in and lingers in the shadows of our doubts and fears only to make itself known when the feeling of true loss rises up. Then we are given the chance to confront our feelings, to step into the love and to vocalize.

Once vocalized we are then given yet another opportunity for growth and love to expand even more.

We are given the opportunity to stand in it.
Yes to stand in the love and NOT run from it.

This can be one of the scariest experiences. 
Because we have to come into the reality that we are feeling something. That we have a true fear of loosing this person in our lives and that it is okay to feel it.

The fact that this triggers us in such a fashion is evidence that it is doing healing work on past wounds around love, abandonment and unworthiness.

Everyone wants to be loved. 
Everyone wants to be cherished.
Everyone wants to be felt, seen, heard. 
And everyone desires for someone to just simply give a shit enough about them to miss them.

I don’t do a lot of missing people personally. 
I live pretty unattached, letting everyone I care for and love live as they need and without me impressing my needs upon them too much. I aim to be strong enough in myself to not necessarily need anyone to fill me, but instead to add to the fullness I already have.

I love deeply. 
And as a I was just sharing with a lover the other day, those who love me deeply back and I share a level of full being intimacy with and unconditional love with will NEVER leave my heart. I will forever be in love with them no matter how the relationship evolves.

This is where the unconditional aspect comes into play.
It is based from not needing anyone, but instead accepting the gift of their love and giving the gift of our love back.

Because that is what love is : A GIFT.

And it cannot be forced. 
It cannot be made to happen according to how we perceive it needs too.
It is just a gift that is given over time and within a second.
It is just a gift that can only be felt when we are truly present with our own hearts enough to experience the offering of another’s.

Yet we lock ourselves up in these neat and tidy little boxes. 
We hide from our hearts out of the fear of getting stung by love. 
We fear that what we want to gift will not be reciprocated or appreciated and even worse that we are not worthy of being gifted it back.

This is nothing more than triggers of past hurts keeping our emotional armor up and preventing us from opening to the gift.

Love it offers us pain and pleasure. 
It teaches us about our depths, 
it teaches us about our darkness, 
and it shows us our light.

I have been sitting with multiple things the last few days based on a love scenario.

As I sat without knowing if my love was safe, was well or where they were in this world I found myself first and foremost deeply concerned for their well being. I questioned myself about any feelings of past abandonment creeping in and I was a hard core no to that as I trust this persons integrity pretty firmly. When I leaned into my heart and into my core ( my genitals as I reefer to them as my GPS a.k.a intuition) I felt that this was not a goodbye or a run away but something dealing around well-being. So I focused on that concern. Feeling helpless, I chose to investigate as much as I could and to try to get the answers I needed to set my mind and heart at peace.

God would soon come to my rescue as usual.
Gifting me with a confirmation of life.

Once solved I found myself now dealing with an old belief and wound around worthiness of love, around abandonment and around my expectations on my relationship.

Stepping back away from the ego based thoughts and just witnessing them do their dance of chaos. Today has been breathtaking and filled with personal growth to say the least.

Because that is all that is happening. 
My thoughts have decided to join a circus and put on a show for me, begging me to take part in the main ring.

Yet, if I do what I know is right and just lean back into my heart, my core ( my genitals as I reefer to them as my GPS a.k.a intuition) I regain my truth. And the truth is that I love this person and I do not need them to love me back. I do not need them to show up in any special fashion. I do not need them to do anything other than be who they are. The person that I fell in love with a few years ago. And what my GPS system is confident of is that no matter where the relationship evolves to, sharing my love and basking in theirs has been a GIFT.

So yes, love hurts on some days. 
It can give us the greatest of pleasure and the worst of pain. 
It reveals to us all side of our personality and ego.
But if we allow it to truly penetrate us. 
To truly conquer us what we are gifted is far greater than what anything else will ever provide.

What we are gifted is an expansion in self. 
A revealing of our truth to our core. 
To our soul level. 
And we are gifted a union with the divine.

Here in the space of true unconditional love we meet ourselves and learn that through the presence of love we have everything that we will ever need and we never need look any further than our own back yard.

For all that we crave resides right here within. 
It is in our acceptance of self that we embrace this world and love deeply those whom we share it with.

I love you.

As always, 
Stop Existing & Start Living

-KW

The Small Things Are The BIG Things In Your Success.

Success happens with in the small things.

The small things is what makes all the difference,
because the small things are actually BIG mother f-cking things.

Have you noticed this?
I sure have luv.
I am sure that you have noticed how you can focus in on all these BIG ass boulders and you can spend your life trying to push those damn boulders up the mountain you are climbing,
with little to no movement,
and THEN,
then you do thi sone little thing,
that seem’s like nothing really.
It’s a no-duh sorta thing even,
it’s a thing that you wonder,
“Why did I never think of that?”
and you do it,
and it MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

Yes success happens with in the small things.

Failure happens in the small things too.
You may understand this one a bit better.
Think about the relationships that you have had that have failed.
Was it big things or a pile up of small things that destroyed the intimacy,
the connection,
the trust,
even the love?

It was the small things , right?
Small things.
They seem so small
and so unimportant often.
They appear as though they should be easy to move through,
to avoid,
to conquer even.
And we most certainly should get over them quickly.
Small things are small hurdles after all.

And they are!
They are IF,
IF….

we let them be just that,
and we are proactive about discovering them,
and doing whatever it is that we need,
to clear the small hurdle.

Often this means,
small actions.

And in the land of success,
and moving those boulders with ease,
you have to be willing to look into things that are in your shadow,
into things that you may already be doing, ‘but are not doing where,
with whom,
or exactly how you need to be doing them.

These sort of things, are the things that can take you from zero to 60 in under a minute flat.

These sort of things,
can make or break you.

The issue always come’s back to realization of them,
and how we choose to perceive them.
It comes back to ego.
It comes back to heart.
It comes back to alignment.
Which means…..

What feels good,
and yet pushes your comfort zone.

The answer though is always in it feeling good.
Anything that does not feel good will create a low vibe in you and create chaos and destruction.
So NEVER….
NEVER EVER do that which you “think” you should do for anyone else, if it makes you feel bad in shape.
Especially if it scares you ass it may be dangerous,
it may cause some emotional or psychological issue within you, such as shame. Or it leaves you with a feeling of bitterness or fear of loss if you don’t do it.

This is not following your joy.
This is not alignment.
This is not jumping over a small hurdle to some success of moving that boulder up the mountain.

NO.
It most certainly is not.
Instead this sort of pushing through will add other boulders to your process and prevent you from success.

So put simple,
Just don’t do it.

It is okay to be selfish and say no to something or someone,
as saying now is saying f-ck yes,
to ourselves.

And being a f-ck yes to yourself will keep you high vibing!

Guess what luv,
saying yes to yourself at all cost,
is one of the most important small things you can do too.
It is the one small things that is the BIGGEST thing you can ever do to get that boulder up the mountain with ease.

But it will take courage.
It will take compassion for self first.
It will take passion,
and it will take a hell of a lot of self- love.

But YOU ARE WORTH it.

You are!

So focus in on the small things that will make all the difference today.
Focus in on the self-love that you have been denying yourself.
Focus in on the things that make you feel high vibe, make you laugh, make you smile.
Focus in on the small things as they are not small at all,
they are the BIG things.

And your success is going to totally rock out of the ethers because of these things.

Just say yes.
Say YES…
TO YOU.

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

—————————————————————————–
If you are ready to make the leap then reach out to me today. I am running a Christmas special where you get 2-months of coaching for FREE. Check it out and use the SANTAGIFT code in the why you want to work with me section.
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Stop Gripping Your THING.

What are you holding on for?
Why won’t you just simply let go and let it flow?
It really is not that difficult.
But NO….

No, there you are fighting it.
There you are hanging on because you cannot let go.
You say that you are in flow,
you say that you got this alignment thing down.
You say that you are feeling good about it.

Blissed out!
Right?

WRONG!!!

Don’t be trying to fool the world,
cuz’ the world sees you.
You know how you are seen?
Through the eye’s that you see yourself with,
this is how the world sees you too.
It’s in your walk,
it’s in your talk,
your body language,
how you sit,
how you shake hands,
the faces you make,
the tone of voice you have.

You think no one can see that constriction?
LOL

Okay.

Whatever.

Let’s be real,
let’s have some respect for each other and self here,
and just state the facts.

You are scared that if you let go,
and let life catch you,
that you just trust that God has your back,
that you will fall.
That you will fail.
That you will die somehow.

You feel the pain,
the suffering right now,
from this fear.

Don’t you?

I mean look here it is the day after Thanksgiving,
it’s the coming of the end of the year.
The holiday’s are upon you,
the demands are many,
the fininances required to make it through the next 30, 45, or 60 days is massive.
You have choices.
You can go into debt some more,
you can just say,
“No, I am broke, I can’t.”
You can ignore the whole damn thing and drink,
or you can figure out a way to make sh*t happen.

And you want to make sh*t happen.
You want to have a killer holiday season.
You don’t want it to be last year,
or the last ten years.
You want it be fantastic.

You want to wake up on Christmas morning to the faces of your loved one’s and feel good,
you want to experience the love,
the joy,
the excitement.

You want to feel proud.

Don’t you?

But what will it take?
What will it cost you?

Money?
Time?
Energy?

Yeah, all of that is true.
The real cost though is not these things.
The real cost is something far greater.
The cost is why you are not doing it yet.
Why you feel that tugging in your gut,
that constriction in your chest,
that anxiety,
the reason why you are not sleeping so well,
the reason why you are drinking more,
the reason you are distant,

YES.
That is the reason.
That is the THING.

And you know the THING.
The THING that is bringing you the suffering.
That premature suffering for things that have not manifested yet.

Yeppers, that is it.

So why are you giving yourself,
your life to this THING?

Oh you say you have too.
You say that if you let go of that THING that you would perish for sure,
you say that focusing in on this THING is what is going to guarantee you not to experience it?

Mmmmmmmm- Hmmmmmmmmm….

Okay.
Whatever you say.

And with that we have the truth.
It is whatever you say,
REPEATEDLY…
In your own f-cking head.
Yes, that is what shall be.

And what are you saying?
Oh, you are worried about that THING are you.
That beast that you have yet to come up against.
That event that will take you out,
destroy you,
well NEWS FLASH!!!!!!!

It already has destroyed you.

Look at you.
You are stressed out to the max,
and all over that THING that has not happened,
and guess what most likely an 80% + chance that it won’t ever happen either.

But it has already knocked you down.
Because you are sitting around agonizing over IT.

Yes.
So STOP that Mother F-cking Sh*t,
and LET GO.

Instead,
go DO-BE-HAVE the life that you know you crave.
It is all up to you.
It is all up to where you choose to apply your focus.

You want the glass to be half empty,
then so be it.
And you know what that will get you…
the same thing you have been suffering through already.

Or….
You can opt to look at all that you have,
all the blessings,
all the joys,
all the love,
all the abundance.

It is all over you.
If you will just open up to it.
So change that stinking thinking,
and EMBRACE your TRUTH.

The CHOICE is up to you,
It always has been.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebookfor my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

Don’t Use Your Alignment As Your Excuse.

It’s all about alignment they say.
It’s all about just saying yes to the things that make you feel good, they say.
It’s all about flow, the law of attraction and the vortex they say.
 
Listen to your soul.
Listen to your heart.
And blessings will abound.
 
Yeah, yeah, f-cking yeah!
 
Okay folks,
you all know that I preach the same thing that leader and visionaries,
game changers, guru’s and greats have preached for ever.
 
There is no f-cking secret.
The secret is that we are responsible 💯% for the way our life manifests.
 
Yes there is the SECRET!
But we don’t like taking that sorta responsibility,
do we?
 
No.
We don’t.
I sure the f-ck have an issue with this wake up call,
like every damn morning,
and sometimes and noon and bedtime too.
Sh*t I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes,
freaking out about stuff.
 
Wondering why this is happening?
How am I going to get through it?
And what did I do to deserve such crap?
 
And THEN….
then I get smacked by spirit. 👊✝️🕉️✡️☯️💥👀
And I realize that I am laying there freaking out about stuff that I have no control over,
stuff that is other people’s business,
or stuff that more than likely will never happen.
 
All I am doing is increasing the odd’s of it happening because I am setting a tone in my thinking and feeling,
I am loosing sleep,
over crap.
 
And so I am aligning myself to a bad day.
And crap on the horizon.
 
or……………
 
What about we only do everything that is in alignment to ourselves.
 
What about,
we “pray” about it.
“Meditate” on it,
and “feel” into it.
 
To make sure that it aligns with us fully.
 
Yes, that is what we need to do to feel good,
have success, and get into flow.
 
This is where we manifest our greatness.
Yes!
 
Yes,
this is the answer.
After all….
 
This is what all the who’s who of flow, greatness and abundance do and always have known to work and be true.
 
RIGHT?
 
Yes.
 
So ya’ know what?
Putting my head down at 12:15am to write that article post that I do daily and missed the the time or focus to write the twelve hours prior, but don’t really feel like writing now either, I should skip till tomorrow.
 
Sitting down and putting together those course training pages after a stressful day of running around, dealing with drama, and feeling a little under the weather, sure does not feel in alignment with me right now either, so SKIP.
 
Doing that follow- up work with possible clients, researching a condition that I have never heard of but have a client with, figuring out new systems for my website, or writing that promotional email or page, just seem’s like too much right now. I sorta feel like I just don’t have the motivation, or the creative flow to do it….
I mean I want it to be in flow,
so I need to wait till I feel like I am in flow,
in alignment so that it comes together right,
and that is not right now,
so SKIP.
 
Man, I am so effing tired and sore,
no time for anything.
Exhausted. Feel like crap.
I sure don’t have time for yoga class today or that walk.
It won’t hurt if I take a day off.
SKIP.
 
Oh baby, I love you.
Oh baby, you complete me.
Oh baby, you are so perfect.
Fast forward 18 months…. 5 years… or what have you.
I just think we are no longer in alignment.
I mean, I know that she/he is still the same person of yesteryear, and we said that our dreams and goals were this, but I have now found myself and I know that you are not in alignment to me anymore.
Oh you want to talk,
you want to work on the relationship,
you are willing to change, grow,
sorry I am not in alignment to it.
BYE.
 
Get where I am going with this alignment idea?
 
Here is the reality,
the reality is that we tend to use alignment as an excuse to get out of the things that we don’t want to do.
 
Isn’t it funny that when we REALLY don’t want to do something,
when we REALLY feel lazy,
when we REALLY just want out of a situation,
that God/Spirit ALWAYS answers us with
 
that’s not in alignment,
 
when we pray or meditate on it.
when we feel into it.
 
OMFG!!!!
 
Really.
Just grow a f-cking pair and say that you don’t want too.
Don’t use God/spirit and alignment as your f-cking excuse
 
If you want to be in alignment and have all the wonders of your heart,
then one of the first things you need to achieve is to be in integrity with who you are, what you want, what your boundaries are, what your desire is, and where the f-ck your VOICE is located.
 
That is what God gave you a voice for.
To speak your TRUTH.
 
No matter what anyone else thinks about it,
when you stand strong in your needs, desires, and heart,
when you stand in authentic integrity with yourself
and with others,
then guess what?
 
Yep you nailed it.
 
Then you are in ALIGNMENT.
And you will align to your abundant life.
You will align to your blessings.
 
Anything else is a lie.
 
So it is your choice,
stay average and ordinary,
and speak lie’s to avoid your own fear of rejection and pain,
or
speak from your soul’s alignment,
which mean’s…..
 
BE TRUTHFUL.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
www.kendalwilliams.com
 
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Just another Gabolie-Gook Moment!

Gabolie-gook!
That’s about all that is in my brain tonight.
It’s just past midnight,
and I feel a need to press forward.
I feel an urgency,
a pressure.
I feel as though if I do not write,
if I just let go of it today that something astronomically horrible will most likely happen to my business,
to my social status,
to my flow
my following,
my life.
 
And so I sat here,
at my breakfast table,
with my mind feeling rummy.
My body tired from the day,
and I sat here,
feeling overwhelm and stress.
 
I played back the conversations of today.
The words and intimacies shared between myself
and clients. Myself and family. Myself and lovers.
And friends.
 
And I felt a call of duty to share something.
Not just something,
but something of value.
A lesson.
A deep thought.
And you know what I found?
 
Gabolie-gook!
 
Nothing more than gabolie-gook.
 
And what do I mean by this?
Or maybe perhaps the better question is,
Why the f-ck am I sharing my gabolie-gook experience with you?
 
I am sharing because we all have times that we feel great pressure to perform.
Great pressure to get something done.
We have deadlines.
We have time lines.
People are waiting on us,
and we have things that must get accomplished in order for the results that we want to happen.
And sometimes,
yes sometimes,
we have nothing more to offer to these moments.
Our minds,
and our hearts,
our creativity,
and our passion are all too tired.
And they leave us with gabolie-gook.
 
And guilt.
And shame.
And a feeling of not being good enough.
 
These gabolie-gook moments can crush us in seconds if we allow them too, or we recognize them for what they are.
 
Our soul saying,
It is time to PAUSE.
 
Time to give yourself space from this,
much like the athlete that has been pressing hard for days or weeks, who’s body will come to a point and demand a break, so that it can have some down time, some times to decompress and let go, so will our minds, our creative energy do the same.
 
Today I spoke with a man,
a business man who works for himself and he shared his frustration around the recent onset of a gaboli-gook moment in his life. He chose to let go of pushing forward on his work to take a little trip,
the trip took over priority in his life to the point that he focused for a few days prior on it more than his work.
Now a few days after his return, he finds himself still dealing with the lingering essence of this trip, causing him a gabolie-gook state of being.
 
Feeling pressure.
Feeling like he is falling behind,
feeling the gnashing of teeth on his heals,
his overwhelm from the gaboli-gook has now caused a state of procrastination.
Faking him out to believe that the ball is not rolling anymore,
that it is too heavy to push and get started up again,
that once dropped, it may not be able to be moved.
 
Here is the issue with gabolie-gook moments.
It is NOT the moment.
 
It is the thoughts and beliefs that we have around allowing ourselves the time to let go.
The fear of being lazy,
creates laziness.
 
And so we stumble in the darkness of our fear,
and we procrastinate.
 
We beat ourselves up for not achieving everything that was on our daily task list.
We look at our agenda’s and we feel exhaustion.
Hopeless in the face of this never ending task list.
This never ending moment of needing to create.
To do.
To build.
To network.
To be turned on.
 
So what is the answer?
The answer is simple.
 
SURRENDER and LOVE.
 
Love the moment.
No matter what it is.
Surrender to the beauty of the moment, no matter what it is.
 
And LET THE F-CK GO!
 
All moments are just that….
moments.
 
Fleeting.
 
They all pass.
They only linger and expand into something more,
when we focus in on them and water them with our thoughts and beliefs.
When we feel into them and manifest them into reality.
Your gaboli-gook moment,
is NOTHING.
 
Unless, you make it something.
So what are you choosing to focus on?
That is always the key.
 
Your thoughts.
Your feelings.
and then
Your actions.
 
 
Never another order.
 
When presented or feeling stuck in a gabolie-gook moment,
much like the one that I was in about 15 minutes ago,
the task to focus in on is to love the moment and accept it as it is,
then look for something to do that will pull your thoughts and feelings a different direction.
 
For example,
I chose to finish dealing with my closet that was getting rearranged,
and I chose move somethings around in my home that I had been waiting for the right time to do,
this gabolie-gook moment gave me that time.
It was a time for me to change up my thinking and feeling,
clear out some space and thus clear out the gabolie-gook moment with it.
 
🙂
 
An d here we are,
after midnight.
 
And my post is done.
And my much like the gabolie-gook,
the moment has passed.
 
Just remember,
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
*Don’t get Stuck in the Gabolie-Gook!”
 
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Why Things Are Not Manifesting For You: You Are Missing This Most Likely

The comment that rings loud to me from today is, “You can see who is in integrity. You cannot manifest over $22k overnight if you are not!”

Yes this comment.

So true is the statement that I knew I had to share it.
If you question WHY things are not happening for you in your manifestation process,
look no further than your integrity.

Integrity is key.

It is integrity with soul.
It is integrity with God.

And it is integrity with the world around us and the people in our lives.

We cannot manifest at the levels of blessing that we are intended to out of integrity unless we do so with a darkness attached which will only posses us somewhere down the road.

And cast ill karma onto our lives.

If you want clean manifestation that comes with ease and massive flow,
then you must not try and by pass the key component of integrity.

You must stand clear within yourself.
Clear within your relations with others.
You must listen to your soul and stop the actions of ego.

It may seem like it would be an easy thing to do.
After all,
all you are being asked to do is to stand in your own truth and speak it. Act it. and show up for and in it.

But the reality is that we humans love drama.
We are addicted to drama.
And we bask in our suffering.

It may sound sick,
and it is.

However, it still is human nature to do just this.
So we create our stories,
we share our tales,
and we devour the attention they bring us.

never realizing that we are sacrificing all of our dreams and desires,
our souls mission,
for this fraction of “feeling alive” through self created drama for attention.

Sad but true.

Many a time,
we find ourselves acting from the place of our inner fearful, self-centered bratty twelve year old state.
We throw our fit.
We beg for understanding.
We stop and we demand.
We point fingers in blame.
And we tell more tales in hopes of gaining a compassionate ear.

Weaving these tales until we can no longer find ourselves,
we continue on this spinning drama cycle where when we finally stop to breathe,
we meet reality.

The harsh back hand of reality swings over our lives and screams for us to wake up.

Our world has crumbled.
We are in the wreckage alone.
The power is still ours.
It has always been ours.

But we must face our addiction,
we must put down the need to feed on the drama.
If we ever want the opportunity to manifest the blessings that God wants for our lives.

Here we stand.
Here we weep.
Here we must come,
battered and bruised from the wounding of the drama we self- inflicted and the lessons we refused to handle in love and grace.

The answer has not changed.
The answer still remains.

Integrity is key.

Standing strong in it we create our blessings.
We manifest our desired life.
Our F-ck Yes Life!

And we smile.

Without it we fall.
Our world crumbles with every touch of our hand.

And we weep in not understanding.

Not understanding that all we ever had to do was be in our truth,
step into our soul alignment.
And live from here.

Integrity.

Will you step into it with me?
Will you embrace your self blessing power?

Or will you turn away and continue to wonder why?

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

Join me for 5 Intensive Weeks in a LIVE Global Facebook Workshop Starting October 22nd, 2018. Where I show you how to Embrace Your Power and Claim Your Life. Learn how a single mom of seven developed the skills to go from fear and scarcity, making $17k a year to abundance and joy making a multi-six figure income a year.

I will be sharing mind shift strategies that I have adapted through the years to manifest the Freedom Based Life that I now live today.

Limited Workshop Spot’s due to the 1+1 Private Focus Sessions that come with this workshop.
Grab Your seat now for

Embrace Your Power – Claim Your Life
“5 Step’s to a Freedom Based Life”

The only question any morning is…

One of those mornings where it’s to freaking’ cold to get out of bed.

Where I just find myself not wanting to even venture to the bathroom to pee.

Brrrrrrr….

Talked Levi my 12 year old son into going downstairs and making mom coffee.
Such a sweet boy.
He made it, brought it up to bed side and kissed my forehead as he asked if he could snuggle after school with me some and then left to make it to class on time.

Yes it is one of those mornings.

It is one of those mornings, where I feel hormonal, tired and non-productive. My lower back is aching and my ovaries are screaming at me.

I can feel my energy drained even though I have not even started my day yet.

I can feel my temperament a little off as well.
I am sensitive.

Yes it is one of those mornings.

It is one of those mornings, where I lay here focusing in on my gratitude’s in life, on the blessings and the joys. I snuggle under my covers and think of all the beauty God has given me. The opportunity and the love.

I am grateful.
Yes it one of those mornings.

It is one of those mornings where my Our Family Wizard buzzes and I see that my baby daddy has messaged me bright and early, thinking our son is still ill like yesterday, I open the message to see what’s up and discover that I have a boundary being pushed on. That his desire is to control my world and dictate my day to me despite what I have already shared. My ego flares and my heart aches. Fear rises up inside of me as I feel suddenly overwhelmed and lost in life.

Yes it is one of those mornings.

Brrrrr….

It is a day of turning inward.
It is a day of standing up.
It is a day of honoring my body.
It is a day to remain present.

Like every day.
It is a day in life.

And the truth behind today,
is nothing greater than the truth of yesterday or a day last week or last year.

It is just a day.

Perhaps you have noticed that in life we are always offered many options as to how our day will unfold.
Thus how our week,
our month,
our year
and our lives,
will unfold.

It comes down to the thoughts we choose to attach too.
It comes down to the games we decide to enter into with our ego’s.
It comes down to what we choose to focus on.

This is what makes all the difference.

I am often asked, ” But how do I stop thinking about this or that? It’s so bad, so stressful. It worries me. I am fearful of it.I cannot just not think about it.”

No you may not be able to stop the thoughts from coming through.
You may still feel the concern, the worry, the fear.
But here is the truth,
YOU and ONLY YOU make the choice to focus on it or not.
You are the one who chooses to attach to that thought, to that emotion and allow it to guide and even control your actions, your future thoughts, your future feelings and your life.

If you want to live a Freedom Based Life,
If you want to wake up every morning and feel in charge and in harmony with life,
In flow with your life and purpose.
And most importantly in love with who you are and where you are.

Then you must let go of the need to attach to these unsupportive thoughts.

You must let go of the idea that you are a victim to the thoughts.

Or a victim to anything.
You must let go of the idea that someone else or something outside of yourself has any control of how you choose to show in life,
to feel,
to think.

If you want a F-ck Yes Life!

And baby you deserve this.
Then you HAVE to LET GO!
You have to KNOW that the only thing you can ever do,
is stay present and do everything within your power to focus on what makes you feel good.

This is your ONLY work.

So yes….

It is one of those mornings.
It is a morning of snuggles,
a morning of sweet gestures,
a morning of love and kindness,

It is a morning of hormones,
of back aches and fatigue,
a morning of frustration,
of ego trying grab hold,

It is a morning of gratitude.
It is a morning of power.
It is a morning of self-love and acceptance.

It is a morning where once again the opportunity to Claim the life we want is at our bedside.

The only thing to decide this morning is,
Am I F-ck YES or a F-ck NO.

Will You Embrace Your Power and Claim Your Freedom Based Life?

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

Join me for 5 Intensive Weeks in a LIVE Global Facebook Workshop Starting October 22nd, 2018. Where I show you how to Embrace Your Power and Claim Your Life. Learn how a single mom of seven developed the skills to go from fear and scarcity, making $17k a year to abundance and joy making a multi-six figure income a year.

I will be sharing mind shift strategies that I have adapted through the years to manifest the Freedom Based Life that I now live today.

Limited Workshop Spot’s due to the 1+1 Private Focus Sessions that come with this workshop.
Grab Your seat now for

Embrace Your Power – Claim Your Life
“5 Step’s to a Freedom Based Life”

Hope & Commitment: PRICELESS

Average cost of a divorce: $15,000 to $30,000

Average child support payment for one child: $430

Average alimony support percentage of highest earning spouse: 30% of income for up to 50% of time of marriage

Saving your relationship and working through your shit: PRICELESS

Remember the old commercial?
Well I sure do.

And this topic is near and dear to me in recent times.
But more importantly,
It is a possible reality to many of my couples clients.
Or potential couples clients.

The sad truth is that quiet often people go looking for help.
They sit in my office,
Wrenching their hands together,
Butterflies in their stomach,
Wanting to be heard.
To be understood.
And to be given hope.

They look at their spouse,
And they hope that they too have a sincere desire to heal the wounds of years gone by.
They hope that their partner is feeling at ease and will be open to the possibilities of getting help.

Often, tears are shed in my office by one or both parties as they recognize the pain,
They see the situation of their marriage clearer,
And they feel the tingle of hope spreading its wings inside them.

There they sit.
HOPEFUL.

They share intimacies within this safe container,
Baring their truths of bitterness, of loss of desire, of financial pains, of feeling left behind and under appreciated.

They share their sins.
From adultery to drug usage to porn and anger.

They share their longing.
Their longing to reconnect.
To heal.
To love and be loved.

And so they walk away from me,
Feeling lighter.
Feeling connection and understanding.
Feeling non-judgment.
Feeling as if they can recover.
They feel HOPE.

And then….
It is inevitable my follow up email with all my recommendations and observations comes into their inbox.
It asks them for their,
COMMITMENT.

Many stand up to the plate.
But many steer away in fear.

They lean on objections.
From price to time.
They say they need to wait.
They say they think they can do it on their own.
They say this
And they say that.

But none of it matters.
They CHOOSE to not commit
And thus they choose to remain in their suffering and in the harsh reality that separation most likely will knock soon at their door.

But they feel like they cannot change the outcome.
Because it just is.
So they settle into victim mode.
And they loose HOPE.

How much does it cost to sacrifice your HOPE?
How much is it worth to step into COMMITMENT ?

It is priceless.
Thats what it is.
On both sides it is PRICELESS.

The only question
I ask these souls who choose to say goodbye is,
Are you happy?

At the end of any decision.
You must ask yourself.
Are you happy?

Here you will learn your truth.
Here you will learn about your fear.
Your regrets.
Your desires.
And if you made the right choice.

No one can answer this for any of us.
It is between us and soul.

And it is PRICELESS.

As always,
Stop Existing and Start Living

Now accepting 1+1 Couples Coaching Clients.
No matter where you are in this big world you can get the private coaching to recover the intimacy and connection you desire in your marriage.
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Our Vineyards Speak Our Truth.

Wine.
Grapes.
Grapevines.
Vineyards and vineyards of depth, complexity, sweet and earthy aromas.
 
Staring down the rows of grapes,
I ponder the truths of where my life is and where it is going.
I stand there, with my ego screaming at me one thing and my heart basking in the beauty and perfection of the moment.
 
There are inner voices ( my ego) yelping that I should respond to my ex about this or that, and how or why is this happening? They screech at me about the stresses that billow around life and want me to pull my attention to these things.
 
These things that make me not feel good.
These things that guide me down a rabbit hole of negativity.
Of scarcity and fear.
Here is my ego.
Here is the demon of fear that is making use of anything or anyone that it can to show me evidence of what it wants me to believe which is nothing more than an illusion to my soul truth.
 
In this,
I remember the words that I have expressed to so many clients, friends and family through the years in times of stress and ego.
 
Just breathe.
And so I breathe.
 
I stand here in the sunshine that peaks out from behind the clouds on this marvelous day in the Texas wine country and I breathe.
 
I allow myself to feel all this fear as it dances around inside my being.
I feel the emotions that come up with it.
I feel my body wanting to take ownership of it and manifest suffering in some fashion.
 
I feel it.
Deep down in my gut.
The rumble.
The bloated nasty feeling.
A need perhaps to excuse myself to the restroom.
My chest feels tight as well.
I feel distant yet embodied.
But I feel like I want to run from it all.
My heart is holding.
And it is mourning.
 
These are all brought on my my emotions.
By the fear that is currently possessing my being.
I allow myself to feel it,
and I stare out over the vineyards of grapes.
I sip my port,
And I breathe.
 
I breathe as deep as I possibly can.
From the dungeons of this fear my soul charges forth,
it claws its way back up into my heart.
It grabs a hold of me,
I now feel really sick.
The awakening of all that I was falling prisoner to comes forth in my mind.
I see how this fear,
this emotion that longs to control my expression,
my actions and my life,
how it cannot happen unless I choose to let go of everything that I desire for myself, my life and for the one’s I love.
 
I see it.
And I breathe.
I breathe deeply into the awareness.
The awareness that I cannot let this happen.
I must let go of the hand of fear, all though there is comfort in it, it just does not serve my life.
It would be me settling for all that I do not want.
 
So what is the answer?
The answer to this vineyard tale,
is that as I stood there my soul chose a new path.
And I listened.
I leaned into my soul and I aligned back with it.
I allowed myself to be led back to my joy.
 
The suffering,
the fear and scarcity thinking lasted only perhaps a moment in time, but it was a moment of awareness that I could not link up with it or it would devour me like it does so many in our world.
 
As I breathed deep and drank my wine,
I consciously turned my attention to something more.
I turned my thoughts and thus my feelings to joy, to gratitude, to the beauty in this moment and in my life.
 
I looked out with fresh eye’s and I gasped at the beauty that was planted before me.
 
SO much potential from something so small.
The grape.
 
The complexity that we all crave,
the ease that we enjoy its flavors with,
sweet,
earthy,
crisp,
tangy,
oakey,
spicy.
 
There is so much that a glass of wine can bring into your experience.
It offers you new flavors with every sip.
Depending on what you eat with it,
the flavors will change,
some things will be enhanced,
some will be muted.
Sometimes a wonderful glass of wine can be destroyed by the bite of a food that does not compliment it making you choose which you will give up.
 
Much like our lives,
wine brings to us pleasure,
when we allow it to and when it is paired with the right things.
 
When we align to our souls,
and we step into what we know is true and in our best,
we honor our own vineyard.
Where there is so much possibility.
There is so much joy,
SO much hope.
So much love.
and abundance.
 
It is all here in the vines of our lives,
in the vines of our expressions,
our experiences,
and how we choose to develop them.
 
So I ask you this today on this lovely Sunday morning,
What vineyard will you plant for your life and what wine will it bear for you tomorrow?
 
Remember this!
The branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you or I unless we abide in our truth.
 
This truth,
no matter your faith, is the truth of your soul alignment.
 
Are you aligned to your soul?
Your bearing of fruit will tell you your answer.
 
Choose wisely.
Choose abundance.
Choose love.
Choose joy.
Choose a FREEDOM BASED LIFE.
 
Cheers.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
Join me for 5 Intensive Weeks in a LIVE Global Facebook Workshop Starting October 22nd, 2018. Where I show you how to Embrace Your Power and Claim Your Life. Learn how a single mom of seven developed the skills to go from fear and scarcity, making $17k a year to abundance and joy making a multi-six figure income a year.
 
I will be sharing mind shift strategies that I have adapted through the years to manifest the Freedom Based Life that I now live today.
 
Limited Workshop Spot’s due to the 1+1 Private Focus Sessions that come with this workshop.
Grab Your seat now for
“5 Step’s to a Freedom Based Life”