There Are Only Two Kinds Of People… Which Are You?

WTF Did you do over the weekend?

Did you live?

Did you THRIVE?

 

Each day we gain a new opportunity to do just these things.

And each day so many people choose to just get by.

To survive the day.

Does that sound fun to you?

 

“I am going to survive this day.”

 

What have you got going on?

“Nothin’ much.”

 

So you see luv,

if you desire to live that F-ck Yes Life,

then you have to flip the switch to living it….

cuz surviving your life is never going to happen,

and no moment is ever promised to us.

 

If you don’t choose to flip that switch to living the life of your dreams,

regardless of what your friends and family say or think,

no matter what is happening in our governments, economy, or what debates are up,

then you will simply NEVER,

let me repeat that for you….

 

NEVER have the life that you claim that you desire.

 

Matter of fact you may even find yourself among the many who sit back and dissect and analyze all those who are out there living.

 

You may discover yourself so far out of alignment with your truth and your worthiness that you get caught up being a judgy, critical and even upset about others lives, person.

About what they choose to do or not to do.

 

You may discover that you are caught in the drama and chaos of the world that is always around us,

falling prey to its life stealing ways,

believing that, that is what you are to focus on.

Never realizing that it’s sabotaging you from the gift that you were given from God….

 

YOUR LIFE TO LIVE.

 

And living is not about just getting through the day and paying your bills,

about appearing to do what is expected,

or about people pleasing to the degree that you have nothing left to give to yourself.

 

Living is not about you doing anything that someone else deems appropriate or right for you.

 

Did you get that luv?

 

Living IS NOT about you doing what someone else “thinks or believes” is right for you.

 

They are not living your life.

And if you believe that you are here to please and be liked by everyone else,

then you’re simply being silly.

 

This way of “wantabe living” will only land you in a depression, exhaustion, emptiness, lost, and feeling unworthy, unloved, and broken.

 

It may feel good to help others,

and don’t get me wrong,

It’s a damn good thing to be compassionate and helpful.

But, if you are being helpful to the point that you have lost your boundaries and value,

then you are not helping anymore.

You cannot help those around you when you yourself are empty.

 

And the way that you fill yourself is by LIVING.

Is by THRIVING.

 

The more you do this,

the more you have to give.

The more you can be compassionate and in love with all.

 

I am a firm believer that the reason there is so much anger, hatred and jealousy in our world,

is because we have been raised to believe that loving ourselves, giving to ourselves, taking care of self first makes us a bad person. However, we crave just that at our core.

And so we hate ourselves.

ANd when we feel this shitty about ourselves we have no space for love for someone else.

We have no tolerance for our differences,

no ability to agree that we can disagree and still remain friends or lovers.

 

You see it is impossible to see clearly the world around us, when we are not thriving.

 

Any point outside of thriving, (which BTW is exactly what your life was intended to be about, it’s your set point if you allow it),

 

Any point other than thriving is you viewing the world from your pain body. From your trauma, your fear, your ego, your need to control, because you cannot fathom letting go of the suffering.

 

Thriving is a foregin concept to the majority of the world.

To the point that we finger point, try and shame, hate on and dissect those that are doing it. It scares our ego’s.

Because thriving means that you fully accept yourself, love yourself and KNOW WHO YOU ARE. You also, get that you cannot control others, nor should you desire too, that’s not loving….

 

That you cannot give to the point of exhaustion and crossing your own boundaries.

 

You understand that the best you,

is the you that loves you.

And that you are not going to be a wonderful person to the majority, simply because you are not doing what they want you to do.

 

THRIVING my love is about you expanding horizons,

getting to know yourself and falling in love with that amazing soul who looks back at you in the mirror,

NO EFFING matters what anyone else says or thinks about you on this planet.

 

THRIVING is about you surrendering to your heart,

and enjoying your life to the fullest.

 

THRIVING is about you accessing your DESIRE and knowing that you can have it,

that what you desire, desires you as well.

 

THRIVING is about being in alignment to God/Universe.

 

There are only two kinds of people on this planet….

 

Those that are in alignment.

and….

Those that are not in alignment.

 

We are all both of these at times, the true question comes down to where to reside most of your life?

 

If you have no clue….

look at your world.

Let yourself get real with how you perceive this world,

your life,

how you truly feel about it.

Are you in love with your life?

or something other than?

 

It’s time to JUMP INTO THRIVING.

You are so worthy.

You are so ready.

 

Make the leap now and claim it for yourself.

The magic is all you baby.

 

——————————————————————————-

***Side note: This picture was taken yesterday during my first jump, such a thrilling experience that I aim to repeat in the near future 🙂 but the weekend was loaded with adventure, from doing a ghost hunt in an 1845 jail, to exploring deep connection with my lover, staying in VRBO chicken coop, just because it sounded interesting, showering outside under the starry sky and more…No matter your life situation love, you can live an adventure, I know because I have done so. I have had to raise five children on $17k a year, I have been homeless and camped for months pretending that we were just having a summer adventure when in truth I could not afford a roof over our head or food, I have stood over the ER bed of my child who was in a sever accident and wondered if there were a God, I have been diagnosed with painful illnesses, been through miscarriages, years of depression, divorce, rape, physical violence that broke my body, and more…. and you know what? My spirit said, “LETS THRIVE! You are worthy.”

And today, my life is totally different. So different that people dislike and judge me for THRIVING and sharing it.

So much so different, that I think about something and it easily manifests in days. My life is now magical because I get that thriving is who I AM.

 

And you are too.

———————————————————————————-

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to leap into a life that you love?

Lets connect and get you expanding and saying F-ck Yes! to your thriving life now.

It’s time you stop just getting by.

 

You are worth so much.

Message me for deet’s.

The Power of Facebook Memories….What it means to your F-ck Yes! Life.

You gotta love Facebook memories.
 
Don’t you?
I mean they make us laugh,
Make us smile,
Make us feel our hearts tug,
Bring up sadness,
Missing,
And appreciation.
 
Facebook memories….
This last weekend I have been off camping in a tipi out in Hawkins Texas. Its been a lovely experience with my youngest two children and boyfriend.
The pictures that are capturing all these fantastic and fun memories are something to be grateful for.
And if you are a scrapbooker like myself,
(Well in truth I have not scrapbooked for a decade, but I take pictures with the concept and image of one day getting them scrapbooked)
 
Then you can for sure appreciate the memories being stored for later creative projects.
 
And then there are those darn Facebook memories…
 
One year ago today….you were at this Jimmy Buffet Concert.
 
Four years ago today…. you were strolling down the beach in Jamaica with your ex.
And you were hiking Dunns Falls and eating lunch at Margaritavil.
 
Seven years ago today…. you were enjoying a romantic dinner and sexy time with another ex that you thought the relationship would last a lifetime with for how in love you were.
 
Eleven years ago…. your children were calling you a hippie mama and you were proud of the title.
 
Lol… just some memories from my life on today.
 
But you know what I noticed?
As I looked through all the pictures….
 
The authentic smiles and connection.
The joy and laughter.
The love.
 
Although fleeting,
And ever changing,
It was there and it is here today as well.
And for this I am grateful 🙏.
 
The people in our storyline tend to change,
As humans can be quiet fickle and our egos and hearts tend to whisk us all about.
 
But when you choose to focus on what matters most,
The love and connection.
The beautiful memories and moments shared,
Then the players in our stories are always perfect.
They are there for a reason in that season of our lives.
And when we can embrace that truth,
It makes our lives so much more fluid and enjoyable.
 
As I looked back on the memories of today over the last decade,
I felt a host of emotions.
I felt my heart expand and sink.
I looked into the eyes of these now strangers,
And asked silently,
What happened here?
I also saw clearly that it was not all bad,
It was not all fake,
It was not time, energy, love, LIFE wasted.
 
Not at all.
It was time shared in love.
And this is my message to you today,
See the beauty of your past and the players in it.
See the love and the life we’ll spent.
Because when you do this…
You capture more of this.
You allow more good times.
You make yourself more available to living in love.
To receiving joy, connection and love.
 
And doesn’t that sound better then looking at those years gone by from a feeling of bitterness, anger and loss?
 
I mean think about what you desire.
Look at what you want for.
Are you living in the energy of it now?
Can you feel it present in your past?
Do you know how to manifest it into your tomorrow?
 
By seeing and feeling it ALIVE in you now.
And looking for the evidence of it in your memories and in the makings of today.
 
Be in gratitude for your memories.
For your storylines and for those who danced the dance with you.
 
It is perfect just the way it is.
As are you.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”
Message me for deets on how to get the most out of your forever and live a F-ck Yes Life now.

The War on Humanity

There is a massive amount of fear, war, and destruction upon our world right now.

Its hard to come in contact with someone that is not caught up in the overwhelming negativity of our current world events.
And everyone has a view point on the events,
Of which many of which do not match anothers.

I have sat back witnessing all of these desperately sad and toxic messages that are being batted back and forth between races, political groups, and more.
All wanting thier voices to be heard.
To matter.
But none wanting to take a breather and witness the other.
Yelling, screaming, shooting,
Burning down the walls of innocents as well as antagonizers.
So many getting caught in the middle.
So many good hearted, loving, people.

But the waring continues.
The desire to hunt down what is seen as wrong and destroy it.
For some that means that the simple act of being born with a skin color that they don’t deem acceptable makes for cause to war.

For others,
The fear of those who hate on them,
Who hunt them like animals,
Who harm the innocent as well as the criminals,
Equates to war.

Neither see the other side.
Both can only view what they fear.
And here is where they act from.

FEAR.

I want to say that our world 🌎 is under attack.
Our humanity is under attack.

And THIS is not something new.
This has been about us humans forever.
We have wared against other clans,
Since other clans became a thing.

We have feared other families,
Feared strangers,
And ANYTHING or ANYONE that is not of our own since the coming of human kind.

This war on humanity is nothing new.
It is a cry of pain masked under the egos hatred for what it does not understand

It will remain alive and rampant until we HUMANS… of all nations, all sexes, all religions choose to not let our egos of fear rule us. Until we humans choose to stop the insanity of letting the few master the many.

When we can step into our humanity,
When we can look in the mirror and at our core as an individual KNOW that today we acted toward all others as we would desire to have done to us,
When we can embrace that the killing,
The beating and all abuse,
The victimization of anyone,

IS NOT OKAY.

When we can look into our fellow humans eyes,
No matter thier beliefs, skin tone or sex,
And see God looking back at us in love,

Then here…
Here is where the war will stop ✋.
Here is where we will see a change.
Here is where we will start to acknowledge our truth as a world society.

And until then,
We will war.

We will hate.
We will abuse and be abused.
We will point fingers.
We will victimize.
And we will let our egos rule our lives.
We will let our egos rule our sight,
Our words and our actions.
And we will believe that we are acting from the right space of our hearts as we continue to condemn all that we fear.

We will remain blind to our stupidity,
Because we will continue to be unconscious of our truth.

And the war between our clans will remain.

But I tell you this…
All lives do matter.
All of us matter.
All of us humans are worthy of love, respect, abundance, and safety.

This should be a no duh to you.

At this time in our world however,
No matter what your beliefs may be,
There is a segregation happening,
No matter the reason for it,
Whether its a polical ploy or not,
There is a group of our fellow humans who ARE and have been for centuries hunted.

We live in this beautiful modern time,
Where so many believe themselves to be intelligent and consciously aware,
Yet we have this war still happening.

And it IS POINTED….
if you cannot see that truth,
You are blinded by your own wounds and fear.

And if it were you and your family that were under attack,
That did not feel safe in the simplest of situations,
Then perhaps you would perceive differently.
Perhaps your heart would have its words heard a bit louder.

Or perhaps not.
This war is upon all of us my love.
It is a war on our humanity.
A war against our soul knowing,
And it is based in ego.

Where do you stand?
Let your actions and words show.
Instead of your wounds, fear and opinions.

#blacklivesmatter

Wake Up Lovely.

And As Always,
Stop Existing and Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “

The Only Question You Ever Need Ask Yourself to Create Your Dream Life.

How do you define your reality?

 

Many years ago I was attending a study group consistently focused on the technology of the soul.

In my study, I was consistently asked to witness my ego,

to see my shadow side and to know that I could never destroy it. That it was going to grow and expand side by side to my light, to my soul.

 

It was revealed to me in this four year in depth training that all of my suffering was by my choice. That I could let my ego feel the pain and recognize it as such,

or I could have soul damage and wounding by not letting my soul shine and speak its truth.

 

Now this may be a difficult conversation for some to understand. And this particular musing is not going to go into depth on it as I would do with a private client of mine,

However, the point that I wish to share with you here is one of great importance if you are among the many in the world who crave for a better life.

 

We get to choose.

The bible referred to this as free will.

And what is meant by this is that we have the creative ability, the power to define our reality through our will.

 

To define our purpose through our will means to focus our desire.

To understand that we are the co-creator of the life that we are living and that our consciousness and perspective on our life experience is what creates it.

 

The life that you are living right now,

did not occur right now.

It was created by the thoughts you have been thinking,

and your feelings toward those thoughts.

The pictures that you have been day dreaming or day nightmaring about.

 

Your reality has been manifested by your focus.

By your will.

 

And here is where the tough shiz happens.

It’s the reality check about your reality.

 

If you want to have a flowing, life based in ease,

in beauty, and love.

Where you are not attracting the drastic contrasting situations and experiences, but instead perhaps work out your contracting visions quickly with a thought or inner conversation that you let go of quickly,

then you MUST get real about who is creating your reality.

 

So back to the question of today.

 

How do you define your reality?

 

If I were to ask you to list three to five words or sentences that define your reality what would you say?

 

Perhaps you should take a moment right now to jot those down. And once you have them in writing, in front of your face where you cannot argue what your words are,

I want you to ask if this reality that you are defining is:

 

👉 Real – are you living it now. Are you feeling it at your core if it is not currently manifest.

👉Is this reality supportive of your best life.

👉your truth and beliefs or someone else’s.

 

 

A Lot of the time we lie to ourselves.

We look at inquiry like what I have given you here today,

and we know what we “should” be answering and so because we view it as a test,

and everyone wants to do good on the test,

we answer what we know or think the “right” responses are instead of what our truth is.

 

And here is how you can tell if you are doing this.

Look at what is showing up in your world consistently.

If what you are writing and what you have showing up are polar different,

then guess what?

 

It’s time for a REALITY CHECK,

because the last one you did was not real.

You were telling fibs to yourself love,

because it hurt.

It hurt to see your truth. It hurt to see the brutalities that you may have been painting for yourself.

It hurt that what is showing up is not as bad as what you keep painting and you just don’t feel worthy of a good life so you gotta create some drama,

so you paint some tales in your head about struggle.

Perhaps, you have a bunch of people in your life that are struggling and you just don’t fit in with them,

so you shrink yourself and make up a shitty tale to match,

to fit in.

Not realizing that if you keep telling yourself these crap tales that you will over time start to believe them at a core level and manifest them.

 

Or….

 

Maybe you are painting a beautiful picture,

one where you have the love,

the money,

the health and opportunities that you want,

but what keeps showing up is nothing of the sort.

And you wonder why.

And the why is simple luv,

You don’t believe that you are worthy of the pictures and statements that you are creating.

 

And what you have materializing is what you believe you are worthy of.

 

This is that shadow self that I was speaking of earlier,

this is where we have to let ourselves feel the pain,

but let it be held by our ego’s.

 

That simply means to step out of the comfort of doing what you always do which is, make excuses and come up with reasons,

and in turn have the will to move toward what you want for.

This will require you to consistently witness your ego,

witness your fear,

witness your desire to control,

witness your foul concepts of self and others,

watch the words that you speak and that you chatter on with in your head and how they make you feel,

and consistently ask yourself if it is true or not.

 

You must be willing to call yourself out of the darkness and into the light.

 

And it is going to hurt like a motherf-cker luv.

It is.

 

But you are worth it.

 

Your other choice is to let your soul suffer and carry with it the wounds of not living the life that you were called to live,

to continue to shrink yourself,

no matter the reason,

and to never taste the glory that you were born to enjoy.

 

How do you define your reality?

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

It is time that you say YES to you.

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

You Are Fearing Your Power & It Is Holding Your Life Back.

I told a close friend yesterday that I was scared to put my attention toward what I “thought” I might be wanting right now because I was afraid that I would get it….

 

LMAO.

 

That sounds crazy,

right?

 

Scared to get what I want because I might actually get it.

But it is true.

I am consciously holding back my manifesting right now out of fear of getting it.

 

How can I be certain that I would manifest it even,

you may ask?

 

You see over the last few weeks of staying at home in the midst of our worlds chaos,

I have been working with clients and clients need homework and sometimes I have to go searching in my own personal journals to look up prompts and exercises that moved me through similar situations that they are experiencing.

 

So I have been looking through a bunch of old journalling.

and geeze has it pulled up some emotion and made me aware of my desires and how great a manifestor I really am.

 

I have looked at the last few years of my life and see clearly how I created things to a T.

 

The things I was wanting just 18 months to 3 years ago are here with me now by about 75%.

 

There are still things in the making,

but I can feel them blooming even as I share this tale with you today. And  the universe has brought me multiple messengers in the last few weeks to confirm that you can have EXACTLY what you desire.

 

SO that should be exciting to me,

right?

 

I have so much confirmation of my creative abilities,

I can see my path,

I can even see the gestation time,

and how it came together,

If I get really present in my heart,

I can even tap into my feelings around one thing and I can take notice as to how I was aligned or not,

witnessing the emotion that truly called it into my life experience.

 

And this is wonderful.

This is powerful.

And scary as F-ck!

 

Because now I know.

I know my power.

I thought I knew prior to this my power but now I really know.

And with this knowing comes a desire to make sure that I get it right,

that I don;t f-ck up what I currently have and love by creating something that is not in alignment to my life right now.

 

There is a strange feeling of responsibility around manifesting that has made itself know to me in recent,

where in the past I would have just wrote my dreams and goals down and not looked at the repercussions of what I was saying that I wanted to call into my life picture,

Now I am so in love with my current life that I don’t want to rock the boat in a way that is not needed.

 

But you want to know a secret?

 

Sure you do. 🙂

 

I am WRONG.

I am so wrong for doing this.

I am so wrong for using “responsibility” as an excuse for creating my dream life even more so.

I am wrong for fearing what my soul is calling me toward.

I am wrong for thinking that I can keep everything the way that is currently is,

in all of its glory and somehow create that next level life that I am feeling pulled toward.

 

Now, there is something else that I am wrong about…

I am wrong in thinking that if I apply my intent on what I am wanting for that I have to have chaos or crap hit the fan in my beautiful life picture,

you don’t always have to destroy something to gain something else.

 

We humans have a tough time with this concept,

We do it in so many ways.

We think we cannot build something new while enjoying something of current.

But that is a falsity.

We can have our cake and we can eat it too.

But we have to believe that we can.

We  have to trust in our soul,

in our path,

in God.

 

We have to have faith that we are always moving toward our best life,

and that is the way that life is designed,

to constantly evolve.

To change.

To grow and expand and to never remain the same.

The relationships that we have today are not the same relationships that we will have in a few years,

even if with the same people,

the relationships will change.

Because people are always changing.

Life moves us.

But we feel scared at moving with life.

It is uncertain and we never know what is coming.

We want to know what is ahead of us and we desire to control it someway,

we fear change more than anything,

and it is what we crave the most,

because it is our nature.

It is our nature to always want for something more.

We will never be satisfied.

And this is how we are designed.

But that is a tough thing to embrace because we are taught that we need to just be content with what we get,

what we have and who we are,

that we need to stop trying to gain more of anything.

When the truth is that this desire to have more and this feeling of never being satisfied is what makes us move forward and take action in life is what we are to be following,

because THIS,

This is how our universe expands.

This is how life grows and experiences this physical existence.

 

To fear change,

to fear growth,

to fear our hunger for more,

is silly and immature.

 

We were born to create.

And we were born to follow the call of this wild energy known as soul.

We are here in this life to evolve ourselves,

and evolution means change,

change of who we are,

what our lives look and feel like,

and if we get very real with ourselves,

then we KNOW that we cannot have what we want thinking, acting, speaking, living the way that we are now.

 

The way we are now has gotten us the life that we have RIGHT NOW.

And if we are wanting to have something richer, deeper, more satisfying then the simple truth is that we MUST EVOLVE.

 

We must change.

And so we must allow ourselves to want for that, that we fear.

We must allow ourselves to feel our hungers,

our cravings, and desires for that better life,

and we must allow ourselves to put our hearts toward it,

we must also let go of the reigns on our current and not hinder its ability to adapt and move with us as it needs,

because it is going to change,

it must change,

for us to become more of who we each are.

 

So my message to you today is to breathe into that space of fear of allowing yourself to have what you are being called toward.

 

Breathe into it and face those inner monsters of your ego that are causing separation in who you are and preventing you from fully stepping forward in your power.

 

Because you are worthy beyond reason.

You were born to live the life that you are hungry for.

 

It is time to say yes to you.

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

It is time that you say YES to you.

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

God Wants Open Relationships… But You Don’t! from Guest Author Addison Bell

You say that you could never do open relationship.

That you find it wrong and not natural.
You think it could never work and that it isn’t aligned with real intimate relationships.
You point to moral objections within your religious doctrines

Yet, you don’t see where you are already living and loving this way!

You are already in an open relationship baby!!!

Relationships are abound in our world. I’m guessing that you are in relationship with more than just one person in your life and most likely even have intimate emotional connections with more than one person in your life.

Sure, you might not be having sex with anyone else in your world but sex does not always equal intimacy.
I bet you have deep conversations and moments with other friends and family. Moments of sincere appreciation and vulnerability.

(If you don’t then that’s a whole other conversation and some intense coaching)

Are you telling me you aren’t intimate with anyone else?

Are you telling me that you don’t have an intimate relationship with God ?
God has set us free to have intimacy with others but you stand there claiming to desire to mirror God’s love…. preaching spirituality… and yet you don’t think it’s okay to set your partner free.

True freedom is giving your partner a chance to reject you! That is true love. That is true freedom. That is true openness.

Take your friends. Or your kids.
Do you just have one?
Do you restrict your love for one because of another?
Or do you just take the relationship with one for what it is and still love and connect with the other in a different way?

Or does it come down to you verbalizing that you want your partner to have freedom
But really you are ultimately holding jealousy and a desire to control in your heart.
Keeping your heart un-Godlike

Wanting to control their sex.
Wanting to control their feelings.
Wanting to control their ability to feel intimacy and connection.

By holding onto your partners sex you are chaining them in their growth process. Our sex is a driving force in our lives and is a creative force. By holding your partners sex down you are holding their growth as a human being down. Shutting down their ability to experience themselves and the world at a new depth.

Take is from me… every lover provides something juicy yet different.
It is a learning about self.
It is a learning about my spirit.
It is a learning about energy and connection.

By controlling your partners sex you are placing a collar around them as a person.

Real love comes when you give your partner the ability to follow their heart and are trusting that your connection is strong enough that they will come back to you.

That is real love.

Just like God is always trying to woo us and love us… but at the same time has given us the ultimate open relationship.
We have full freewill to reject
We have full freewill to have other relationships
Because there is a faith that the love is strong enough that we will always return.

God didn’t want puppets and yet you stand their trying to create puppets in your own life and using your faith as an excuse.

Open relationships are a very personal decision.
And they aren’t for everyone.
But I ask you to look at the true reasons that it isn’t for you.
Get to the heart of the matter and get real with self.

Because hiding behind false reasons isn’t helping you to expand and grow, nor is it helping your partner.

Love, light, & blessings,
Addison

Learn more from Addison HERE

My Revelation from Putting Ice Cubes in My Vagina.

❄️❄️❄️ I put five ice cubes and peppermint oil in my vagina last night…❄️❄️❄️

 

and then I mounted my man who had no clue of what he was getting entered into….

 

Surprise!

Aren’t surprises fun.

They certainly can be.

And being playful in our sexing is required for gourmet experiences.

 

But sometimes, we enter our partners and selves alike into experiences that may take us to depths of meeting new aspects of self that were not anticipated.

 

Sometimes our surprises back fire and cause a shut down,

a turning away, or trigger trauma from past wounds that we had forgotten about or did not think to link to current moments of play or joy.

 

Sometimes we end up freezing up emotionally in the midst of an experience and find ourselves trapped in a land of desire,

but not knowing how to express it or what to do with it.

 

We humans are not only fickle,

but fragile.

 

And we often do not give ourselves enough compassion or grace to process our feelings and love on our wounds from a higher perspective,

we in turn beat ourselves up more,

and build up more barriers of shame and bitterness,

dropping our hearts deeper into a frozen state of hibernation,

so that we do not have to deal with the emotions that surge fear through us to the core.

 

Freezing up is never a good idea,

emotionally speaking.

 

Emotional frostbite is a thing.

And it is a thing that is about as pleasant to move through as its physical twin.

It causes a numbing,

a burning,

and massive constriction of our flow.

It prevents us from being flexible in love, life, thinking and feeling.

It locks us down to the creation of the life that we crave for.

And when we sit with emotional frostbite,

any amount of warmth burns and scares us.

 

But that is what the prescription is to heal it.

That, that we fear.

That. that burns,

that hurts to lean into.

It is the defrosting of our core.

It is the warming of our hearts,

and listening to our soul.

 

And it is activated with DESIRE.

 

But desire feels too provocative a thing when you are frozen.

Desire feels edgy, feels dangerous and makes us have to deal with our fears.

 

And fear stands firm in its cover of guilt and shame, jealousy even.

 

Fear yells at us to control the situation.

Fear tells us that we must have expectations.

Fear wraps us up in its belief of scarcity.

 

And it tells us that desire is evil.

 

It tells us to not listen to desire,

to not feel its warm embrace.

Fear wants us to remain “safe” and stay frozen.

 

Deny.

Deny your soul.

Deny your heart.

Deny desire.

 

Because that is where desire is birthed from.

It comes from your truth,

to heal you,

to guide you,

to defrost you.

and open you up to who you truly are.

 

And without it….

You will never know the wonders of this life.

You will never fully tap into your purpose.

You will never feel the depths of love ripping you open into surrender.

You will never see the light of God in your rapture,

and you will never live an expanded life.

 

No.

Nothing is possible without desire.

But we must make sure that our desire is based in our heart,

not in our ego.

For the desire of our ego, may mask itself as our hearts,

may ride the very waves of our heartbeat even,

and make us feel as though we cannot exist without it,

but from this sort of desire we feel its need,

its need to control.

It needs to master us.

Its need to force.

to be hasty in the gaining of our desires.

And it does this through the emotions of worry, fear,

envy, judgement, bitterness and anxiety.

 

Where desire that comes from our heart,

does none of this.

It only defrosts our streams and rivers,

bares its truth through love, compassion and excitement,

releases us from our once thought eternal winter,

and renews our hunger to live.

 

Neither feel safe.

But desire from the heart is soul led.

It is what each of us must step into and embrace with eagerness if we are to ever know God.

Know life and love.

And heal our wounds.

 

It is through this desire that we learn to embody ourselves once again and trust in our hearts.

 

It is here in the warmth of our desire that we awaken to our worthiness and greatness.

 

And it is from this eruption of desire that KNOW OURSELVES.

 

But if you choose to ignore,

choose to hide behind the shame and guilt,

the excuses and your pride,

then you choose to remain in an eternal state of cryonics.

And you can bear hope to bring life back to yourself at some point, but in order to do it my love….

 

You must choose it.

You must choose to defrost and to allow yourself to feel again.

 

To feel everything.

And know that it is perfect.

 

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Don’t let another moment pass living in a chronic state of frozen.

Limiting your life experience,

limiting your love and connection,

limiting your abundance.

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

It is time that you say YES to you.

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

Vehicular Assault In The Bedroom – Is It Acceptable?

A man is out with his buddies after a long day at the office. They stop into a local pub to have a drink or two and shoot the shit. A few hours go by, they root for the sports team, throw about some “F” bombs, share about the days and the stupid people at work. The man starts to feel tired so decides it’s time to head home to his family.
On his drive home he gets more exhausted and his eyes are heavy. The couple of drinks although they don’t significant impact him are not making things any better right now.
He comes up to an intersection and does not slow down in time, thinking there is not really traffic at this hour and is not overly concerned about running a stop sign in his quiet neighborhood.
Unfortunately, as he roles through the stop sign he hits a pedestrian.
He did not see this person out walking and somehow completely missed their presence on the curb as they stepped off the curb to cross the road.
The man is later charged with vehicular assault. He has his driver’s license taken from him, serves time in jail and pays a hefty fine. He has this mark on his record for some time to come.
Is this right?
Does he deserve to have his whole life tipped upside down over an accident. He was not drunk. He was not speeding. He was not deliberately trying to harm another human.
Yet his life is upside down from this event.
Seriously now, ponder this.
Does he deserve to be punished as the law states?
If he had killed this pedestrian his punishment would have been worse.
Now if you are like most people,
you may say,
“Yes he deserves the punishment.”
–>He was being clumsy and not responsible in his actions.
–>He should have not had as much to drink as he did, stopped sooner, ate some food to offset his alcohol.
–>He should have just gone home in the first place since he was tired.
–>He knew his state of being and should have worked harder at being more present while driving.
–>He knew the streets in his neighborhood well, he knew that the stop sign was there, so he should have stopped.
–> Etc. Etc.
You may also think it brutal that his whole world get’s halted and goes into chaos from the accident, thinking that may be a little harsh BUT, it was ultimately his fault. His mistake and look at what he did to the pedestrian and their life? Can they function fully? Do they need surgery? What came of their life?
Now let’s look at the this same man,
same tail,
He is out to the pub with his buddies, he gets tired and he decides to go home to his loving family. He goes home with no issues. His children greet him on their way to bed, his wife has saved him dinner in the microwave and kisses him hello.
She inquires about his day and he says it was okay, just a bunch of stupid people to deal with as usual.
They settle into watching a TV show and news.
All seems happy and normal.
They go to bed and the man snuggles up behind his wife rubbing her hip and butt a little. He kisses her softly on the neck a couple times. He slips his hand down between her legs from behind to touch her pussy. Tapps it softly with his fingers. Brings his hand back up, spits in his hand and rubs his spit on her vulva that is exposed from this position. He is hard and ready, she is laying on her side holding her breath. She knows what is coming and even though she does not want it, she says nothing. Hoping that maybe he won’t. Maybe he will see that she is not interested.
He rubs the spit around a bit more, grabs his erection and without word sticks it into her. He is on his knees, holding her hip down to hold her on her side. He is forceful, fast and deep in his penetration. He is moaning in pleasure and giving primal earthy groans as he fucks her. She does not move. He continues until he cums.
He lays down behind her, kisses her on the cheek and says,
” I love you. Good night.”
She stays still as he drifts off to sleep and starts to snore.
When he is snoring, she gets up and goes to the bathroom.
His cum is dripping out of her.
She sits to pee.
As she pee’s her vulva and labia burn from the friction of the sex that her body was not ready for.
Her gut hurts from the anxiety and pain of going through this.
And tears stream down her cheeks as she softly sobbs, hoping no one will hear her, hoping that she can just make it through the night and next day.
The morning comes,
the sun rises.
her husband is rested and ready for his work day.
He grabs coffee and breakfast,
kisses the kids and her goodbye,
wishes them all a good day and tells her that he loves her.
She gets the kids ready and out the door for school,
darts to the shower where she washes herself diligently because she feels so filthy and disgusting. She weeps as the whole event and every event before it no matter from her husband or another man plays in her head like some morbid cruel reality show. She gets out of the shower, telling herself its time to put the game face on. She has a family that needs her and work to get done. No time for this pity party and after all he is her husband and he is a man and it just is the way it is. After all, he loves her. He is a good provider, a good father.
She has nothing to want for.
But she wants.
She wants for the pain to go away.
She wants to feel loved, not used.
She wants to not feel the anxiety around going to bed every night or waking up in the morning to the same event.
She wants for him to see that what he is doing is not okay.
That her world internally is upside down and she is slowly falling apart.
–>Her work life is stressful.
–>She cannot stay focused.
–>Her physical body is always sick and hurting.
–>Her hormones are out of balance.
–>She is exhausted physically and emotionally.
–>She is irritable.
–>She cries for what seems like no reason randomly.
–>She has no real interest in life.
–>She appears to be depressed.
–>She gained a bunch of weight.
–>She is drinking more and popping pills to sleep, to wake up, to keep her going and keep her mood somewhat stabilized.
Now I want you to ponder this scenario.
What comes up for you?
Is this acceptable?
Is it okay that her world is upside down and that she is living in this state?
Is it ok that her husband just continues on like this?
I mean after all,
–> He had a tough day at the office.
–> He was tired and most likely just did not realize what he was doing.
–> He had a few drinks so he was not fully aware and did not catch that she was not into it.
–>If she was into it she would have said something or pushed him away, right? So its her fault.
–>He needed the release to help him sleep, to help him destress.
–>Men need sex more than women.
–>Most women are never into it and are none orgasmic unless drunk so this is normal.
–> She just needs to get over it, its not that big of a deal, its just a little sex.
–> He does everything for her, there is no question of his love.
–>Its not like he physically broke her or tried to kill her. He did not hit her with a car.
–> His actions were not on purpose. His intent was not to harm, he thought she was okay with it.
So that makes his actions of flipping her life upside down acceptable?
But if he hits a pedestrian then he should have been more present,
he should have paid more attention and known where he was at and what the dangers were.
He hit a pedestrian and now they cannot function clearly, they are in pain, they are emotionally messed up, their home and work life are in shambles.
So for that yes, he needs to be punished for harming another human even though it was not on purpose.
Really?
I want you today to sit with these tales.
I want you to go deep inside yourself and ask yourself why one is okay and the other is not?
I want you to ask yourself why excuses and lack of understanding and presence should be easily forgiven or not even considered when we speak about raping a partner but it is different for other events?
And then I want you to realize that 74% of married/coupled women go through this weekly or monthly.
And if you are a man who is married or coupled with a woman I want you to examine your choices and get real.
Stop accepting excuses from self and others.
The damage caused from moments like this is not small and most of the time cannot be  repaired fully. This sort of event tears apart the foundations of love and trust.
And if you think differently then you are a fool.
It’s time to wake up men.
It’s time to stop being blind to your haphazard self centered ways and its time to actually love your woman.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers.”
Want to learn more on healing relationships in 2020 and how to uncomplicate your couplehood. Reach out to me for deet’s on my individual and couples coaching available globally.

Are You Hiding From The Truth In Your Relationship?

Retraction.
The holding of the breath.
The gripping of one’s fist.
Fidgetting.
 
What we expereince when something is shared that we don’t want to hear.
 
It can be hard to hear our partner speak about what they are feeling. How they are thinking. Or the challenges that they are having in the relationship.
 
It can be terrifying at times and make us question if the relationship will survive.
It can make us feel weak,
defeated, not enough, lost even.
 
When our partner throws a verbal dagger at us,
whether they know it or not,
it hurts.
 
And we find ourselves tossed between gratitude for finding out and a desire to not know any more.
To just make it go away.
 
The gratitude is our soul telling us that this is what is needed,
if our partner had not openned up and shared then that would mean that the relationship was already dead and it was just a matter of time till we discover its corpse.
 
This is what happens frequently however,
so often couples carry on and one partner is blind and deaf to the truth of what state the relationship is in, until it is too late and then they scratch their head in confussion of , “How is this possible, I thought everything was good?”
 
If we lean into the desire to make this pain go away and to not hear it anymore,
we may find ourselves retracting our love to our partner.
We may find ourselves just simply disregaurding what they are sharing and moving along as though it never happened.
Hoping that if we don’t talk about it or give it attention that it will change on its own.
 
This is detrimental to the releationship, however.
Making excuses up as to why you cannot focus on this right now, saying that this is the wrong tme to bring it up, saying that its all in our partners head or that thats not true, are all statements sharing that you do not value your partners feelings, thoughts or heart and that you are more caught up on the gut punch and how bad it was of them to make you feel this or to ask for something.
 
This is also detrimental to the realtionship.
 
The ONLY path to choose in this instance “IF” you desire to keep the relationship that you have and to make it strong and happy again is to PAUSE and listen without denial, without hiding, without excuses or fighting.
 
This is what is referred to as
“holding space.”
 
Coaches and therapist’s do this all the time for their clients.
The answers are often formed through the venting,
the sharing, the allowance of the feeling.
 
As a couple, if you desire to take some bad news shared and turn it into gold, then this is the sapce to start in.
 
If you close the door to the communication,
if you get angered or bitter about the sharing,
if you go into attack mode,
or allow your fear to control,
then you will find yourself pushing your partner further away.
 
Communication is the key to holding a relationship together.
Communication is the key to healing a relationship.
Commincation is the key to building trust, intimacy and love.
 
But communicating means listening without judgement or a need to be right or change what someone else is feeling or thinking.
 
Comminucation also means presenting a safe space where your partner feels permission and safety in speaking what they need and that their words will be heard and acknowledged.
 
Commincation means sharing your truth.
Sharing what you are feeling, fearing, troubled with, needing, not liking, liking, loving.
 
If you want a turned on, empowered relationship then you have to move away from surface level relating.
You must be willing to hear it all and hold that space for self and your partner.
 
You must be willing to offer what is going on with you and INQUIRE about what your partner is expereincing,
 
Most relationships today do not do this.
They believe that they do,
but they don’t.
 
Most relationships accept the answer of,
“I am good. I am fine. We are good.”
 
The simple truth is that relationship requires work, time, energy, truth, compassion,communicating, stepping back from a need to be right.
 
If you don’t take the time right now to share with your partner or to hold space for your partner to share and actually listen to what they are sharing, understanding that every share is valuable, then what you will discover is that your relationship will end.
 
If you claim that you love your partner.
Claim that you love your relationship.
Claim that it is the most important thing to you.
That it and them matter.
 
Then let it be witnessed through your actions of taking the time and making it priority.
 
Without shame.
Without guilt.
Without anger.
Without retraction.
Without accusations.
 
But with LOVE.
 
If you think you don’t have time to do this,
then I promise you that you will find a time that it will not longer beasking for your time.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for 1:1 couples and individual coaching availble world wide and/or group coaching focused on this and more.

In Casting A Stone You Better Have No Ego.

I feel sick and I am afraid to show it.

 

Afraid to speak about needing help.

Afraid to go outside of my home and sneeze.

To cough.

To have my allergies.

 

Yes right now is a strange time,

is it not?

 

It is a time where more people are concerned for their health than ever before.

Shiz we don’t panic like this about getting in our cars and driving some place yet so far in 2020 alone there have been 288,502 automotive deaths in the world.

 

We don’t stop consuming all the toxins that we know cause cancer do we?

No matter a fact there was a run on the grocery stores for just these items…lol

and yet just so far in 2020 there have been 1,755,279 deaths from cancer.

 

We don’t run and grab knives out of everyone’s hands that are holding one, or freak out about everyone who is having a bad day and look at them paranoid like they are going to do something even though there have been 229,184 suicides so far in 2020.

 

And yeah, we stay clear of those who we know have the flu…

and no one wants the flu. – Self included.

 

But we don’t look at small children in the grocery store who cough or sneeze like they will kill us with their natural human functions, even though there have already been 103,869 deaths from the flu in 2020.

 

No, we do not feel ashamed of these things.

We just carry on and even inquire if someone needs some tea or groceries bought.

We do not have a run on toilet paper over flu season.

And we do not shun the old and young because of a cold.

 

But, TODAY….

Today on planet earth we shame for illness.

We shame for age.

We shame for sneezing and coughing and wheezing.

We shame for watery eyes and clearing the throat.

We look at our friends and neighbors like they have a gun in their hand for offering a hug or a hand up a step.

 

No…

No…

I got this.

I don’t need “you” to touch me.

 

Yes my fine fellow humans, ‘we are forgetting our humanness.

We may preach that we love our neighbors,

that we want to help the poor, the old, the ill,

but when it comes down to it…

our animal natures,

our instincts to cast out what we perceive as weak or dangerous offsets it all.

And we SHAME.

 

This Is how we humans deal with that, that we are not comfortable with.

With that, that we do not understand.

We shame those who have it,

or we assume may.

 

Forgetting that assumption is often wrong.

Not allowing any logic to lead.

And certainly not allowing our hearts a voice.

For all we hear is the screaming of FEAR.

 

We are being given an opportunity to grow in this chaos,

we are being given a chance to support and build a world community, where boraders and skin color, religion or sex do not matter.

We are being provided a beautiful opportunity to heal ourselves,

from the inside out.

To change our thinking.

To change how we perceive one another.

To come into alignment with our hearts,

and to show compassion for self and neighbor alike.

 

And my sweet reader,

I fear we are failing.

I fear that we are allowing our ego’s to rule and thus not evolving,

but instead stepping backward in fear.

 

There are places around this world,

where windows are open. You can hear the laughter of families and children playing.

You can hear people singing.

And they are places where the heart still remains.

Even though touch and community are limited,

they have found ways to still connect.

They have found ways to de-armour thier fear and transform it to love.

 

But these places are few and far between.

And if you live in one such as this I speak,

then count your blessings dear reader and send love into this world,

for many other countries are not as such.

For this world to heal,

to find is harmony again,

and for this dark spring to turn to summer once again,

we all must focus on what matters most.

 

We all must inquire how we are impacting the outcome.

Do we speak and act from fear?

Or do we act from compassion and love?

If it were you that were sick or having the stones of shame cast toward you, how would you feel?

 

I end this musing today,

with words to remember,

“Let those among you without sin, cast the first stone.”

 

None of us are without ego.

And none of us have a right to assume.

But we all make our judgements and in doing so,

we create a great separation from truth and ourselves.

We hinder this world and we blind ourselves to love.

 

 

Put down your stone in exchange for a smile.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers.

 

Now accepting applications for 1:1 coaching.

Learn how you can let go of that that causes you stress and fear and truly create the life that you’ve always wanted for.

Plus inquire about my group coaching for ways to reduce anxiety and stress with a 5 week mastermind on the vagus nerve.

Photo Credit to Photographyinwonderland.