TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS BECOMING EVIDENT

 

TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS BECOMING EVIDENT

 

There is a necessary evil, 

A violence in discovery. 

And we don’t want to face its existence. 

But that does not change the fact that it is there and it is necessary. 

For us to evolve, to expand and awaken we must come to terms with it. 

 

For when we awaken, and stand on the brink of the world that we once knew and the world that awaits us, we will feel torn apart at our very existence. 

We will seize to exist as we have been and we will be forced to recognize who we are at our core. 

 

It will be terrifying and beautiful. 

And we must storm with courage toward it if we are to have the life that we desire that we were born to live. 

 

The defiance of such will cause your utter destruction and yet by leaning into the fires of your purification and awakening to your power you will expect the same. 

And to a degree you are accurate. 

 

However without this destruction of the old self, 

Of the world that you cling so tightly too, 

You will never have anything that your soul desires and was born to live for. 

You will be no more, 

Only leaving in your place a skeleton of who you actually are. 

Hungry to have flesh on your bones, 

You will wonder the world aimlessly, 

Depressed, anxious and fearful. 

Lost in the world and in yourself. 

You will mimic and hide under the masks of those you envy.

 

Not knowing self.

 

And here is where you must stand, 

Stand for you my love. 

 

Know your worth. 

Have grace for where you have been. 

Take stance to where you are going, 

And run. 

Set free your inner child, 

Set free the wolves of your soul and let your heart escape its bounds and shackles. 

The day is afresh, 

Your life is before you, 

The new world is calling. 

 

Go unto her my love. 

She hungers to give to you. 

She wants to swallow you up in her rhythm and song, 

Have you dance upon her flesh, 

And laugh into her mysteries. 

 

But you must claim it. 

You must allow it and demand for it. 

It will never be handed to you without your asking. 

But once asked for it will be given. 

You are the seeker, 

Do not remain blind any longer. 

 

You are walking the tightrope of your life, 

Which way will you fall?

It is time that you see one way is up and the other down. 

You have heaven and hell at your feet. 

It is time to choose. 

 

Will you settle for what you have always known?

Or will you awaken and see the evidence of your soul’s arrival. 

The shifting in time. 

You are being called too. 

 

 

Lifted up. 

The angels support you. 

Your shadow fears. 

It is not of creator, 

Not your truth or destiny. 

Turn away and run toward the path. 

 

Where two different worlds become evident. 

 

Lest you let go of the reigns of your very life to salvage what will have you lost and hungry. 

Broke and battered by the currents of this chaotic world. 

Washing and racking you upon its treacherous shores. 

You will not be able any longer to have discernment, nor love. 

Compassion will fall to the side and you will be haunted by its remembrance. 

This is the life that you fight for. 

This Is the war on self and soul. 

Can you survive?

Make amends today my love, 

With self. 

And open your wings to the heavens. 

Drop the skeletons that you believe are yours, 

And enter your rightful place. 

 

You are worthy, beautiful and strong. 

Time to own your reality. 

 

KNOW THYSELF. 

 

 

Breathe. 

And expand. 

Open. 

Open. 

Open. 

 

Set free the prisoner, 

The prisoner that is you. 

 

 

It’s time to claim your life, 

Now and forever. 

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

WHEN YOU OPEN YOURSELF, THE WORLD IS BEAUTIFUL AND SCARY.

WHEN YOU OPEN YOURSELF, THE WORLD IS BEAUTIFUL AND SCARY.

 

But boy is it ever worth it.

And I believe that it is how God intends on each of us to live.

Remaining open,

breathing into life,

and allowing ourselves to always lean forward in love no matter what the perception of a situation may be.

 

How freeing is it to all those we engage with when we enter into a situation from love and from a place of knowing that we can always feel good. It is a choice.

It is a habit to make feeling good our priority in life.

 

Sure there are those times when shit hits the fan and you feel your heart tugged,

you feel like you may not  be able to breathe or even survive from the sheer pain that is moving through you,

but even in these moments where suffering feels inevitable there can still be love,

there can still be joy.

You can align to your inner being and to God and you can lean into the feelings,

into the pain and see it for what it is.

A mask.

A mask that is blocking our truth.

The truth of who we are and how beautiful we all are when we are open to our true nature.

 

It is hard to see our beauty or how lovely our lives can be when we are washed over with difficult times,

when our emotions are sharing with us the opposite of anything that feels good.

When we are full of questions, concerns, worry and fear.

When we feel like we have made massive mistakes and that we are “bad people.”

 

But if we choose in these moments to open ourselves up,

to face those fears,

to stand before our egos illusions and to breathe further into the experience,

to lean further into that, that we fear so deeply,

that has us wanting to run and hide,

and we do it from our innermost spaces,

which are love.

 

Then we can experience bliss even in the midst of pain.

We can expand further into who we truly are,

and we can stand strong in our knowing of self.

Here there is no fear of getting it wrong.

Here there is no worry of what will be or come,

There is only love.

 

And love does not feel pain.

Love is not fearful of the moment or the future.

Love does not question if it is right.

Love does not doubt its experience.

Love just is that love,

and love is blissful.

 

It ignites us.

It is seeing our lives through rose tinted glasses.

It has us hungry to feel deeper and more of it.

Love expands us and has us desiring to share it,

freely,

without constraints and restrictions,

there are no rules to love because it just is our purest state of being.

 

For us to feel this glory however,

we must push past the ego based will and programs of our human state,

where we shackle love,

where we control it and dictate how it is to move and be expressed,

where it is okay to share according to what the world, society and our peeps deem fitting.

As long as we sit back and let this world tell us how to love and what to feel and what is correct or not,

as long as we hold our hearts out in approval from those who do not even feel our hearts,

and ask that they be forgiven for feeling the way that they do,

as though love is a mortal sin,

an evil that cannot or should not be seen,

unless it fits in this tidy little expression of itself,

yes until we let go of these beliefs,

we will never feel our truth.

We will never be able to fully access our highest potential and to live in full expression of our soul.

We will forever be preventing the mystery of God to move through us in its full capability,

because we have not learned how to trust in love.

How to be moved by it,

and how love is the gateway to our truth.

Our power and our wisdom.

It is the aligning agent that we all crave and search for,

but as we feel it empressing itself upon us we fear its power,

thus fear our truth.

 

We fear the pain of losing love,

but we cannot ever lose it.

 

When we feel love with another being it is just showing us how beautiful we are.

The feeling of love for another is a mirror reflection of our alignment to our truth, to God and how our inner beings feel about us and this life that we are living.

The masks of the ego are not residing in these moments of truth.

Only our souls are speaking and letting us feel their words through the flutter of our hearts.

 

Fear and beauty dance in this space of opening up.

We move from ego to soul,

soul to ego.

And the world keeps spinning and sharing its illusions with us.

Our next steps into our truth will only ever be determined by what we choose to focus on,

by what we choose to listen to more.

 

soul or ego.

beauty or fear.

 

These are our options.

This is the human experience,

the expansion of our vessels,

the meeting of who we are,

the meeting of our truth.

 

Lean in and feel the raggedy edge of your ego,

where you will fear your heart but desire to be set free.

 

Unshackled.

And in love.

 

 

 

As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

 

 

October Asskickery Month is almost upon us.

 

Are you wanting to make some changes in your life, love or sex?

 

Want to take action but do not know where to start?

 

Need a swift kick to get what you want?

 

Reach out to me about this global opportunity to have that F-ck Yes Life that you are wanting for now.

WHY DO WE AVOID OUR PLEASURE?

WHY DO WE AVOID OUR PLEASURE?

 

This is the question I sit here with,

pondering how could I have ever been so silly as to avoid everything that felt good,

to quickly turn away from positive direction,

out of fear.

 

Fear of anything,

fear of fucking it all up,

of not being good enough,

or maybe fear of being too much,

fear that I was not worthy of whatever it may be,

and so I turned away.

 

And used all my logic to make it happen and look appropriately.

I spent years doing this.

I still catch myself doing all too much in my opinion.

 

But I think that perhaps our biggest fear is the fear of not trusting ourselves.  We have made some poor decisions in the past, so how can we trust self here?

 

This is the one that can get us all.

 

And so we often psych ourselves out from following the lead of “feel good” and we turn around out of fear that we cannot trust ourselves.  That we should shut down and ignore, move away from whatever it is that we are wanting.

 

You see though,

we cannot just lay something down like a feeling or a desire in one area of our lives, or around the energy of one subject area of life and not expect the energy to seep out to all areas.

 

All of life is interwoven.

 

If we shut our passion down,

we start to lose passion in all areas of life.

If we shut down playfulness in one area of life,

we lose the fun in all areas of life.

We prevent ourselves from feeling all the emotions of life,

then inevitably we lose feeling for all areas of life,

and we drown in our fear of feeling.

 

But we humans,

we love to take things away from ourselves so that we can prove that we are good people, that we are trustworthy, loyal, committed,  safe…. etc. 

 

Don’t we?

and we start the whole proving ourselves by doing the take away from self typically for the sake of love.

 

Our version of love is really great at stealing so much beauty in life.

We believe that we must not be so many things when in love,

all the things that were okay when single suddenly cannot be experienced or it be looked upon as though we have commitment issues.  So no opposite sex friends ( we don’t care how long you have known them, you are in love now, you never need to speak to the opposite sex again, your love is your everything), do not be overly kind or smile, look into the eyes of the opposite sex again, do not take kindness from the opposite sex, always say no to help from anyone that is not the same sex as you unless they are your love.

 

We turn away from all the emotions,

the turn on, the play, the openness, the conversations even that add wisdom and creative thought into our lives.

 

We turn it away to “show” or should I say PROVE our love.

All of these things bring pleasure into our lives though.

We are shutting down and turning away from our pleasure,

in belief that by shutting it all down we will gain more pleasure because we now have this ….

 

THIS RELATIONSHIP.

 

And this relationship will fulfill our everything and we “should” not need for anything outside of this relationship.

 

After all that is what love gives us.

EVERYTHING.

 

Right?

But nothing is farther from the truth.

We are still human.

We still need connections from many.

We still have much learning to do and that requires a relationship with others outside of THIS RELATIONSHIP that is to be our everything.

 

But we shut it down.

We shut it down hard too.

We make sure not to notice,

not to connect,

but instead to guard and hide.

We shame and guilt ourselves should we even catch the eye of someone smiling our direction, blaming ourselves for the look on our face, the laughter we were showing or the garments on our body.

 

And so we shame our energy.

We shame our magnetism.

We shame our joy.

We shame our turn on for life,

and the saddest truth of all is that all this shaming has us shaming our love.

Because love is not about judgement and control.

Love is not about hiding and condemning.

Love is not about sacrificing our friendships and desires.

Love is about being lifted up by another who wants the best for us and wants our joy,

wants our light to shine bright.

Not dim it.

 

Love wants us to enjoy life and reap the pleasures of this life.

Love wants us to bask in it and show it to the world.

 

Ego,

which is where most of us reside when supposedly “in love”

wants to control, judge, condemn, feel jealousy and insecurity.

Ego wants you to hide who you are and change to fit the ideas and insecurities of others needs.

Ego fears all other relationships.

Ego fears your joy and your light.

Ego does not see how it turns you off and shuts you down over time in the name of love.

It believes that it is saving you,

saving your relationship,

saving your love.

Ego does not have faith.

It does not trust.

And it is quick to find fault anywhere but with itself.

 

Ego has us turn away from EVERYTHING that is pleasure and good for us,

but it has us run into the arms of all the pleasure that condemns us.

Ego will have us act in rage.

Ego will carry us the bottle to drink our sorrows away in.

Ego will have us “I’ll show you” as we sex with people we do not want to, to prove yet another point.

Ego will have us mask our feelings and hide with drugs and food.

Ego will get us to retract from life, to become workaholics.

Ego will do its job for sure…

the job it feels it must and that is to KEEP YOU SAFE AT ALL COST.

And it will do so under the guise of love everytime.

It will make you question yourself and your love.

 

And here is where we lose our power.

Here is where we lose ourselves.

Here is where we step out of alignment with SOUL, with God.

 

Because SOUL and God do not feel the same way about any of this that you are feeling through your ego.

 

The fact that you are having negative feelings, fear or insecurity, judgement and jealousy, a desire to control shows just how out of alignment you are.  You could not feel this much pain if your inner self did not feel differently.

 

That is what being out of alignment means.

When you feel drastically different from  that that your inner being feels.

 

And do you honestly believe in your heart of hearts that TRUE LOVE ever desires for you to not shine?

For you to deny yourself joy, happiness, connection?

 

Do you believe that true love wants to control you?

 

Yet you sit there turning away from your joy,

your happiness and your expansion,

andall the pleasure that these things bring you,

based on the concept that you need to prove your love by doing just this.

 

I get it.

I too am guilty of this ego game.

I have shunned my truth in the face of what I thought to be love.

I have hidden myself from my truth based on fear and judgement.

I have said no to myself when I was a fuck yes because I was afriad of not being good enough or making a mistake.

I have been there.

I have made poor choices based on this ego.

I have avoided my intuition out of fear of not being able to trust myself.

 

And I have suffered the results.

 

The regret of not saying yes to living,

to growing and expanding self,

to experience,

to love and connection.

To abundance and joy.

 

Regret.

It’s a nasty bi-product of saying no to the alignment of self.

 

The ego is a bitch my dear.

We all have one.

Our power is reestablished by witnessing our emotions and seeing for the guidance system that they are.

 

Are you ready to learn your truth?

To live the life that you feel called too and love fully?

 

Authentically.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

 

October Asskickery Month is almost upon us.

Are you wanting to make some changes in your life, love or sex?

Want to take action but do not know where to start?

Need a swift kick to get what you want?

Reach out to me about this global opportunity to have that F-ck Yes Life that you are wanting for now.

 

 

HOLDING SPACE FOR SELF AND DESIRES IS F-CKING HARD SH*T!

HOLDING SPACE FOR SELF AND DESIRES IS F-CKING HARD SH*T!
Man is it ever.
And most people are not strong enough to do just that.
They want to sorta throw up all their desires and fears on anyone who will listen.
Especially their fears.
And then later ,
IF they are doing internal work they want to share, share, share their desires.
All because they are learning to “speak their truth.”
And you know what?
That is true.
Anyone of us who have ventured down this path of self-awareness and love knows how hard it is to learn harmony in this boat of new found territory where we are given permission to ASK FOR WHAT WE WANT.
And it seems that we should be able to just ask,
and then any logical soul knows that whomever we are asking of will then answer.
And in a perfect world they will answer the way that WE WANT THEM TOO….
Every time of course.
LOL.
Okay maybe not every time but most of the time, right?
Because if we are feeling this,
then certainly they are as well.
And if we are both feeling this,
then it just makes sense that it can easily happen.
However, often this is not the case.
Often even if everyone feels it, thinks it and may want it,
frequently the universe has set a different course for the time being and we have to learn the lesson of ACCEPTANCE.
Turning our expectations that we claim we do not have,
but secretly always do,
into acceptance of what is and that we are always being given EXACTLY what we need in life at any given moment.
And you know what?
That right there is some hard a*s sh*t!
But it is worth it.
When we are accessing new areas of self,
becoming more embodied,
awake as some would say.
and present in life and who we are,
At first it is a beautiful land of mystery.
There Is adventure and sizzling, scary yet fun highs and lows that we easily become almost addicted to.
We learn to ride our waves of pain and pleasure,
because we start to understand this is so opening to our truth.
And it feels phenomenal to surf through these new waters and learn SELF.
The adventure of birthing into ourselves is a powerful, yummy experience.
Although not always fun.
It carries with it pain and agony.
We learn that inorder to grow and expand that we have to let go of somethings that no longer serve us,
and sometimes that can even mean relationships that we cherish.
Or jobs that pay our bills.
Because even though we enjoy them,
they are not feeding our souls journey any longer and holding on only means that we will sink our own ship.
This is some hard a*s sh*t to move through!
But it is worth it.
Then we have the internal world of our emotions.
OMFG! Don’t even let me get started here.
This subject of our human experience is among the hardest of the hard sh*t.
And that is because we are never taught how to hold space.
Not truly for someone else,
and most certainly not for self.
We get derailed by our ego’s at every corner of our path.
At first we chitter chat in our heads about fairness,
lostness, how we wish for this or that,
then when the pity party of the inverted ego starts to wear down we turn to,
look at what I am doing and how far I have come.
Pat myself on the back,
cause no one else is here to do it.
Or let me spout off about my good work,
my good deeds,
etc. etc.
The work of the extraverted ego here.
And we bounce around with our pride and our happiness.
But when no one notices right back to the inverted ego we go.
Holding those unannounced expectations on others still.
Catching ourselves.
Witnessing our ego’s is some hard AF sh*t.
And you know what is a hundred times more challenging?
Giving yourself GRACE.
COMPASSION for self to be human.
Say what?
Now I know that I have lost my marbles somewhere here in my kitchen on this rainy day.
Compassion for self?
Seriously.
May sound nice,
but there is no way that we can do that, right.
I mean I don’t want to let myself off the hook.
I am an awakened soul.
I am growing and want to make sure that I don’t mess up.
Mmmmmhmmmmm….
just like every other self proclaimed awakened soul.
But here is a little news flash my dear awakening soul,
YOU ARE STILL HUMAN.
And being human means that you may ultimately know everything,
because God consciousness does reside inside of you and moves through you,
the consciousness that creates universes is in you.
But you only get to be perfect and 100% accurate when you are in full alignment with God.
That is when you are on point.
And in order to do this,
you have to learn how to hold space for self which simply means that you have to learn how to not get trapped in your stinking thinking, criticizing and pity.
You have to not let yourself overthink everything.
You have to learn to hold your emotions in love like you would a precious baby,
without a need to try to do anything but hold them,
love them,
and APPRECIATE them.
This is ACCEPTANCE.
And this my dear is what we all must practice surrendering to each and every day of our human lives.
Because when we practice this we are practicing compassion,
GRACE for self.
And if you are looking for grace from anything else,
including God,
then check your expectations.
God always gives you grace.
God always gives you unconditional love.
God always trusts you to do what feels best to you.
God never turns away from you.
Can you say that you do the same for yourself?
Bet not.
And guess how you get into alignment with God?
Yeppers,
by gosh by golly I think you may have guessed it correctly.
By offering the same to self.
And to others second.
And that is some hard AF Sh*t to do!
But it is worth it.
You are worth it.
God knows this.
It is time though for you to KNOW THIS.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Many years ago I learned how to witness these hard AF things in self, and I spent a few years highly challenged by them. But after practicing and practicing, what I learned and was able to achieve was priceless.
Today what used to take me months and even years to move through I can successfully move through in hours or minutes even.
Can you imagine how much more fulfilling and fun life could be if you did not have to fill your mind and heart with so much chaos and worry?
Let me teach you my secrets.
reach out to me about 1:1 and online events now.

 

 

 

 

THE ABSENCE OF WHO I AM, REALLY SUCKS!

THE ABSENCE OF WHO I AM, REALLY SUCKS! 🤯🤯🤯

 

Hating on self?

Or maybe you say that you don’t hate yourself.

You don’t dislike yourself even,

you are just frustrated.

Irritated.

Down on self because you are not feeling great in your skin.

 

And I get it.

I truly do.

We all go through these times.

 

And hey here is a little secret for you….🤫

I am currently in one of those moments in life where I am a bit down on myself. I am not in this moment in love with my body.

I am not in love with how I am feeling in my own skin,

and I am having issues looking myself in the mirror.

and even feeling sexy.

 

I sorta feel a bit grossed out by myself.

The way I got here is not really important.

And that is a tough concept to get through our human minds,

because we want to have our reasons, we want to analyze and figure out the reason behind the problem.

But that will never get the solving that we desire of the problem.

Because we are stating that we have a problem to begin with instead of just letting go of all this self-judgement and turning back to our truth.

Now it is important to be aware of habit changes,

of sabotaging thing that we have introduced into our lives,

into our thoughts and emotions,

that may be contributing to the support of this self-disgust.

The reality is that you can say that you love yourself all damn day long but if you are not loving your body enough to get it moving and consuming healthy foods, staying hydrated and getting enough sleep,

plus if you are choosing to stay in toxic relationship that are not feeding your heart and soul,

and you are not leaning into YOU…

then you simply are lieing your f-cking ass off to yourself about loving yourself.

 

You have to fall in love with yourself.

You have to own up to your power and stop making yourself so damn small.

Stop fearing the impressive, expansive person that YOU ARE.

 

And that my love is why you are so full of this yuckiness to yourself.

👉The reason that you don’t like yourself is because you’re not up to speed with yourself. 🛸🤯💃

 

You got that love?

YOU WERE BORN TO BE MARVELOUS.

You were created powerful, worthy and came into this world knowing such,

but it got stolen from you by the “good” lessons that your parents and the adults in your life taught you,

what society and school/church showed you,

and you started to believe that you were not powerful, worthy and abundant.

 

You started to believe that your light was dim.

and this means that you let go of being marvelous.

And that my dear was YOU.

 

So now the absence of you, really sucks!

It really does not have you feeling your best.

You are struggling to look into the mirror or make eye contact.

You are feeling frumpy and negative,

hating on your fleshy suit and hating on who you have allowed yourself to become.

 

When the answer to your problem…

if you want to call it that…

cause us humans love to solve problems, right?

 

Is that the reason that you are not liking yourself,

let alone in love with yourself ( an me too here),

is because you’re not ALLOWING yourself to be yourself.

You have cast your truth out.

 

And you sit back in your disgust over who you are right now,

and you maintain powerful focus on what needs to change, needs fixed, where you f-cked it all up at.

 

The worst thing that you can do though is just this.

Holding yourself in focus and finding a critical thought about you.

Because that action,

that manifestation that you are creating,

 

TAKES YOU AWAY FROM WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

 

And you are powerful AF!

You are deserving.

You are beautiful and strong.

You are courageous and loving.

You are intuitive and caring.

You are worthy and abundant.

 

That is who you are.

That is what you are to be living, RIGHT NOW!

 

And it is up to only you love to take yourself from this absence of self and get the f-ck lined back up.

Synchronize to your TRUTH.

YOUR SOUL.

 

GOD.

Here is where you will fall in love with you and become mesmerized by staring into your own eyes,

lost in the sea of you.

You will be captivated at your heart and your beauty and you will not just think that you are worthy,

you will KNOW without a doubt that you are,

because your soul knows.

Your souls never has questioned your worthiness or your power.

That is why you are feeling so bad love,

because you are questioning what your soul deeply is certain of.

 

And when you come back to YOU and who YOU REALLY ARE,

well that is when whatever the problems you are having with your body and life right now, will just wash away with ease.

 

Time to start loving on the most important person in your world wouldn’t you say?

 

And STOP trying to be all this or that for everyone else that is not you.

 

With all my love, beautiful.

Remember Who You Are.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to know more about living an abundant life?

Want to know the secrets to overcoming these little obstacles that can turn into mountains if left in the corners of our minds and rustling around in our energy? Reach out to me about my Asskickery Month of Private 1:1 Global Coaching now, where I will share with you how to overcome and have success in one subject area of your life in the next 4 to 6 weeks.

YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN.

YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN.
Goodbye.
To you and you and you…..
“So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu
So long, farewell, au revoir, auf wiedersehen.
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye
I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye
Goodbye!
I’m glad to go, I cannot tell a lie
I flit, I float, I fleetly flee, I fly.”
THAT’S IT!
And so we must part.
And part repeatedly we do.
Yet you long to hold me here in this moment,
forever captured by your desires.
But, neither of us can expand as long as we hold so tight.
Our power, our freedom and happiness,
comes from letting go.
Each moment that we are alive,
we are always transforming,
expanding or shrinking,
longing to be close, to merge and entwine,
or push away and fly free in who we are in the moment.
Goodbye feels permanent.
It is like the feeling of death, is it not?
And so we strive to avoid it.
We fear it.
And we try our damndest to make sure that things remain the same.
However in our attempts to keep all the same,
we destroy the beauty of our lives,
of our relationships,
we squash what was so dear.
And we then sit back and wonder why we feel such suffering.
We question why things went the way they did,
and why those that we wanted to hold precious to us turned and walked away without notice.
The answer my dear is in your desire to control.
To prevent your own pain.
You fear goodbye.
You fear transformation.
You fear your growth and the expansion of others.
You are living so far from your truth and from God in this moment that you cannot feel the love that is in store for you.
Love does not fear change or growth.
Love knows that this is an attraction based universe,
not a universe based on exertion and force of your will over everything.
Love knows no suffering.
Love never feels alone or jealous.
Love does not point fingers of blame and hatred.
Love does not look for reasons to not be love anymore but in turn become anger or drama.
There are things that we can be certain of in this life of ours.
1) All things change. Movement and expansion is a guarantee.
2) Everything is energy and operating at a frequency of its own.
3) You attract and keep in your sphere of vibration ONLY those things that are the same frequency, all other things will cause disturbance and cause separation between you and them.
Put simply,
Goodbye simply means that the energy was no longer there.
And goodbye is one of the most beautiful blessings that we are given in our lives.
It allows for all parties to be true to themselves if open to it.
We get what we need from the time spent together and then when our energies no longer connect ( vibe at the same frequency) we are set free from the engagement.
This is far from a sad event.
No matter what we are speaking of, may that be an intimate relationship, a friendship, a job or career, a home or car, etc.
This letting go of anything is only creating an opportunity for ALL PARTIES involved to move forward toward their highest and best version and experiences instead of being forever trapped with something that no longer serves their best self.
Can you imagine being trapped as a twelve year old you? Just held in all time as that version of self, with all the bondage that you most likely felt from family and society? Having longings and desires, wanting for more but knowing that you would never be able to have any of it because here is where you are eternally?
Sounds like hell, right?
And your suffering would be far greater than that of saying goodbye to your greatest love even.
Every moment that you are living.
Every person that you come in contact with,
every thought that you think and feeling that you have.
Changes who you are.
And you are never the same person you were just moments ago.
Therefore you are always saying goodbye to a version of you and to a version of whomever you are moving through life with.
Although these changes are subtle,
over time they transform us.
And create the energy gorge between us and others.
Our holding on to old versions of self and of others only causes damage to our souls expansion.
Because it creates separation between our TRUTH which is linked to God, and our life experience ( what we are perceiving here and now). This is where our anger and pain will stem from.
When we are feeling such anger and pain, blame, jealousy, worthlessness and fear we are being offered the gift of realization that we are NOT IN ALIGNMENT TO SELF.
Self is God in essence.
God consciousness moving through us.
Spirit. The divine.
And to be aligned to self,
knowing self which is pure love,
shows our alignment to God.
We cannot be aligned to God when operating from ego/fear.
And this causes constriction in the physical body and world ( our life experience).
We will start to experience chaos,
negative events, frustration and suffering.
Signs of separation.
You are powerful.
We all are powerful and worthy.
And we access this power through letting go in love not fear.
We reconnect ourselves to self and God by looking the demons of fear in the eyes and telling them to be gone,
that they are not our truth.
They are not of God.
They are not of self.
And we turn our focus to love.
To appreciation for EVERYTHING that was shared with us in moments past.
We focus in on the beauty,
the expansion and the greatness of what we have learned.
All relationship…
All relationships transform and change and say goodbye.
We all will say goodbye to each other in big ways and small ways in this lifetime.
Nothing is forever.
It was not designed to be such,
and you would ultimately not be fulfilled and happy if it all remained the same.
Look at your life,
at those in your world,
in your vibrational sphere.
And ask yourself,
” Am I holding onto this energy in love or fear?”
“Am I grasping for it wanting to control it? Or am I breathing into it and allowing it to wash through me, whirl around me and carry me to my next highest level of self?”
One is ego based.
One is aligned to God and self.
You get to choose your path and write this chapter of your novel.
What does this chapter close like?
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Want to explore the soul’s code to love, happiness and abundance? Reach out to me for my Asskickery Month of Coaching Special available globally 1:1 NOW!

IS THIS THING CALLED LIFE EVEN WORTH IT?

SOME DAYS YOU QUESTION…

IS IT EVEN WORTH IT?

 

You know those days where your chest feels so tight it hurts to even try and take a shallow breath,

and you know that what you really need to do is to breathe deep and force yourself to just relax,

but you can’t.

It hurts too effing bad.

You feel like your chest is going to erupt at any second from the pressure that it is under and your heart is beating faster than it should,

you woke with enough anxiety for two countries of people,

and your mind won’t stick to anything positive.

The thoughts,

the fears,

worry dances around you assuring you that today is going to suck,

just like life is sucking. And you question….

 

Is any of this even worth it?

Does anyone really care?

Do I matter?

And if I do, is it just so I can be of service without support coming back? Am I only here on this planet to be used?

 

The blame game is a nasty one,

and you know it’s not even accurate,

but there you go anyway,

down that rabbit hole,

feeding yourself another solemn tail of defeat and suffering.

 

Your mind is a chatter with how you need to just put an end to your suffering,

you have no reason to continue so it appears,

your heart is shattered and no one sees it,

or cares.

 

You are lost.

Lost in your pain.

Lost in your inability to love yourself.

Lost in your fear of change.

Lost in desire to control and you cannot see it.

Your ego has you by the balls,

and there is a strange fulfillment in it.

 

Shhhh…. don’t tell anyone that in your pain you are comfortable.

 

But it is true.

 

You are happy here in this suffering,

it is serving you for the time.

It is gaining you the attention that you desire,

it is getting those who are around you to notice you somehow.

Your vibe is so low that they feel a need to check in on you,

to inquire and at very least pretend that they care.

 

And to this there is an inner smiling.

But not for long.

Quickly you dismiss it.

And move on to another thought of your inner suffering,

pointing more fingers,

spewing out hatred and pain to anyone who will listen.

Confirming your misery.

 

And controlling that it will not leave you.

 

Yes my love,

Did you catch that?

 

You are controlling  your pain.

You are forcing it to stay with you.

You are the one who is hanging on to it.

 

You are truly that powerful,

that you have chosen to put yourself into this bondage.

 

You are truly that genius to have devised a life of suffering that is so masterfully planned out that even you yourself can no longer see it for the mastery that it is in your power.

 

Choosing blindness over sight.

Choosing to remain harnessed to the inner demons that you feed with your thoughts and actions.

Choosing to control them,

through your dictatorship of what you cannot do.

 

But if you could just breathe.

If you could just allow yourself to settle down into that cavity of your heart and feel the beating of its beauty and power.

If you could if only for today allow yourself a moment to release all the emotion that resides there,

let the tears stream without attachment,

without a need to think about them,

but to just let them go.

 

If you could do this and breathe.

Deeper and deeper,

letting yourself feel yourself and love,

love you for all your humanness,

and your tender beauty and powerful soul,

then perhaps you would be able to turn the corner to this self inflicted suffering.

 

Perhaps then you could come from your strength.

From that place deep inside of you that knows its worthiness,

embraces its power and see’s how it is truly the creator of your life.

 

If you could do this for only one minute today,

just one focused minute imagine the glorious thing that could stem from this place?

 

Imagine what it would be like to ALLOW yourself to turn that corner and to STOP the suffering game that you are playing with yourself.

 

Imagine what life might be like if instead of denying yourself the ability to feel good,

you in turn started to say yes to yourself with the things that you know you desire, crave and need.

 

You question your worthiness…

yet you do not treat yourself with any worth.

 

You question if you should continue on…

yet you deny the allowance of living from a yes point to self.

 

You roll in the muddy contamination of your thoughts claiming that you are shackled there while holding the key to your freedom.

 

And the reality is the same for any of us…

 

We will only make a change when we are ready to make that change.

 

When we are done with the service that pain offers.

When we are done controlling from this vibrational level and we are ready to truly step into our power of self love.

Ready to surrender to your true nature,

to create a life of thriving.

 

But first you must question…..

 

How is this suffering serving me?

Why am I so attached to this pain?

How is controlling my life through pain supporting my current desires?

 

And you must go deep with yourself if you are to unblock yourself from what you claim you no longer want.

 

You must get authentically raw with yourself and be willing to see those inner shadows for what they are….

 

for how you….

YES YOU ARE THEIR MASTER.

 

Are you ready to turn the corner?

 

Because this world needs your light.

And you my dear,

YOU ARE WORTHY OF A LIFE OF THRIVING.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Stop with the mind f-ck games that you are playing with yourself and learn the secrets to thriving now.

 

You can create the life of your dreams in one minute a day.

 

Message me for deet’s on the Magick Minute Program.

It Takes Courage To Have An Authentic Relationship.

IT TAKES COURAGE TO HAVE AN AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIP.

 

I have this belief that ALL…

Yes ALL people who are in an intimate relationship with another need to go through the inquiry and inner work as well and relating work  that those who have successful open relationships do.

 

I believe that no matter how you label your relationship,

that you should explore authentic relating for what it really means.

 

Most monogamous couples “think” they know each other.

“Think” they love each other unconditionally.

“Think” they are best friends and trust each other.

“Think” they are doing it right and will have success.

 

Most people who decide to open up their relationships choose to do so at a low period in their primary relationship and “think” that opening up will fix something.

“Think” that you can just overnight shift gears and that this thing called inner work and couples work to set agreements, learn each other and communicate are not needed.

That you can go zero to 100 overnight so to speak.

 

Both cases are detrimental to the relationship.

And it’s because the number one issue in relationships is communication.

 

And I am sure you may be among the many who believes that you communicate well with your partner.

You may think that you got this fully taken care of ,

but I ask you, is this true?

 

98% of couples that I have worked with over the last 15+ years come in telling me that they are good if not great communicators,

that their partner is their bestie and they can tell them anything.

But not three sessions into coaching and the truth is discovered.

 

They suck at communication.

Because they keep it at a surface level.

There is no depth in relating.

And if they touch on depth,

it causes confrontation,

triggers old wounds and fears,

and both parties end up dancing in their ego’s and speaking from their pain bodies instead of their heart centers.

 

So they avoid it.

They shut their truth down,

they tell their partners a softer version or nothing at all,

and they hide the best they can from themselves for as long as they can as to not rock the perfect picture of a loving connected relationship that they are wanting to paint.

 

When the hard fact is that they have challenges.

 

It takes courage to speak up in a relationship.

It takes courage to be real in a relationship.

It takes courage to listen without trying to change, control or freak out about what might be being shared in a relationship.

It takes courage to remain stable inside yourself when living authentically with another.

And it takes courage to be raw and real with yourself so you can do all the above.

 

But f-ck is it worth it,

just like you are worth it and so is your relationship.

 

You see, if you are among the many who are not operating at this level of authentic relationship but desire open communication, unconditional love, acceptance, honesty and truth in the relationship and from your partner,

then how is it ever going to be possible if you live hiding from yourself and basing your feelings and actions in fear of losing your partner?

 

If you are making your partner responsible for your happiness and worthiness then how can they ever just be themselves and state their truth to you?

 

If you are holding expectations as to what they need to do, how they need to act then how can they share their truth with you about anything that may pose a difficult conversation? And how is this unconditional love?

 

If you define yourself based on your relationship,

which simply means you are not strong in WHO YOU ARE,

then how can you be truthful with another?

 

To be authentic, truthful and honest with another you first must KNOW YOURSELF and be strong at your core so you are not rocked by another.

 

Remember that humans are fickle.

We ebb and flow,

we all are live waves in our feelings, emotions, thoughts and that we get caught in our wounds as well as our desires.

 

In authentic relating we understand that

there is your business,

there is my business,

and there is God’s business,

and that we each are ONLY RESPONSIBLE for one of those.

Anything else is sticking our noses where they are not needed.

 

The most unconditional loving person is the person who knows themselves, loves themselves first, and can embrace their shadow self as well as their glorious light.

They know their worth and it is not dependent on any outside source.

 

This is a person who can love deeply and unconditionally.

This is a person who can truly be honest and real.

This is a person who is self-empowered and therefore has the ability to allow for their partner to grow, to speak, to change.

 

As it is so intended.

relationships need to evolve over time.

This means that both parties need to do the same.

 

Expecting ourselves, our partners or the relationship to remain the same,

causes stagnation to our individual growth and the evolution of our love and relationships.

This is the coward’s path.

And it typically results in two things:

*Unhappiness

*Relationship Failure

 

It takes courage to relate authentically.

It takes courage to relate in unconditional love.

It takes courage to catch our control issues in a relationship.

It takes courage to see our fear based actions, feelings and thoughts for what they are… fear of our own inadequacies, fear of our worthiness and lack of value, the lack of personal acceptance cast onto our partner, and fear of abandonment.

 

But when we stand in courage and face our truth,

love ourselves through our fears,

we open the gates to deep, penetrative love and acceptance with our partner.

 

And THIS….

THIS is what we all crave and desire.

 

You are worthy of this beauty.

You are worthy of this sort of love.

 

Offer it to yourself and your partner today,

by starting with seeing YOURSELF authentically and leaning into those difficult conversations.

 

Reach out to me if you want information on how to go about just this and more.

Learn authentic relating no matter your relationship title to create an evolved loving relationship that fits your soul’s path now.

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

There Are Only Two Kinds Of People… Which Are You?

WTF Did you do over the weekend?

Did you live?

Did you THRIVE?

 

Each day we gain a new opportunity to do just these things.

And each day so many people choose to just get by.

To survive the day.

Does that sound fun to you?

 

“I am going to survive this day.”

 

What have you got going on?

“Nothin’ much.”

 

So you see luv,

if you desire to live that F-ck Yes Life,

then you have to flip the switch to living it….

cuz surviving your life is never going to happen,

and no moment is ever promised to us.

 

If you don’t choose to flip that switch to living the life of your dreams,

regardless of what your friends and family say or think,

no matter what is happening in our governments, economy, or what debates are up,

then you will simply NEVER,

let me repeat that for you….

 

NEVER have the life that you claim that you desire.

 

Matter of fact you may even find yourself among the many who sit back and dissect and analyze all those who are out there living.

 

You may discover yourself so far out of alignment with your truth and your worthiness that you get caught up being a judgy, critical and even upset about others lives, person.

About what they choose to do or not to do.

 

You may discover that you are caught in the drama and chaos of the world that is always around us,

falling prey to its life stealing ways,

believing that, that is what you are to focus on.

Never realizing that it’s sabotaging you from the gift that you were given from God….

 

YOUR LIFE TO LIVE.

 

And living is not about just getting through the day and paying your bills,

about appearing to do what is expected,

or about people pleasing to the degree that you have nothing left to give to yourself.

 

Living is not about you doing anything that someone else deems appropriate or right for you.

 

Did you get that luv?

 

Living IS NOT about you doing what someone else “thinks or believes” is right for you.

 

They are not living your life.

And if you believe that you are here to please and be liked by everyone else,

then you’re simply being silly.

 

This way of “wantabe living” will only land you in a depression, exhaustion, emptiness, lost, and feeling unworthy, unloved, and broken.

 

It may feel good to help others,

and don’t get me wrong,

It’s a damn good thing to be compassionate and helpful.

But, if you are being helpful to the point that you have lost your boundaries and value,

then you are not helping anymore.

You cannot help those around you when you yourself are empty.

 

And the way that you fill yourself is by LIVING.

Is by THRIVING.

 

The more you do this,

the more you have to give.

The more you can be compassionate and in love with all.

 

I am a firm believer that the reason there is so much anger, hatred and jealousy in our world,

is because we have been raised to believe that loving ourselves, giving to ourselves, taking care of self first makes us a bad person. However, we crave just that at our core.

And so we hate ourselves.

ANd when we feel this shitty about ourselves we have no space for love for someone else.

We have no tolerance for our differences,

no ability to agree that we can disagree and still remain friends or lovers.

 

You see it is impossible to see clearly the world around us, when we are not thriving.

 

Any point outside of thriving, (which BTW is exactly what your life was intended to be about, it’s your set point if you allow it),

 

Any point other than thriving is you viewing the world from your pain body. From your trauma, your fear, your ego, your need to control, because you cannot fathom letting go of the suffering.

 

Thriving is a foregin concept to the majority of the world.

To the point that we finger point, try and shame, hate on and dissect those that are doing it. It scares our ego’s.

Because thriving means that you fully accept yourself, love yourself and KNOW WHO YOU ARE. You also, get that you cannot control others, nor should you desire too, that’s not loving….

 

That you cannot give to the point of exhaustion and crossing your own boundaries.

 

You understand that the best you,

is the you that loves you.

And that you are not going to be a wonderful person to the majority, simply because you are not doing what they want you to do.

 

THRIVING my love is about you expanding horizons,

getting to know yourself and falling in love with that amazing soul who looks back at you in the mirror,

NO EFFING matters what anyone else says or thinks about you on this planet.

 

THRIVING is about you surrendering to your heart,

and enjoying your life to the fullest.

 

THRIVING is about you accessing your DESIRE and knowing that you can have it,

that what you desire, desires you as well.

 

THRIVING is about being in alignment to God/Universe.

 

There are only two kinds of people on this planet….

 

Those that are in alignment.

and….

Those that are not in alignment.

 

We are all both of these at times, the true question comes down to where to reside most of your life?

 

If you have no clue….

look at your world.

Let yourself get real with how you perceive this world,

your life,

how you truly feel about it.

Are you in love with your life?

or something other than?

 

It’s time to JUMP INTO THRIVING.

You are so worthy.

You are so ready.

 

Make the leap now and claim it for yourself.

The magic is all you baby.

 

——————————————————————————-

***Side note: This picture was taken yesterday during my first jump, such a thrilling experience that I aim to repeat in the near future 🙂 but the weekend was loaded with adventure, from doing a ghost hunt in an 1845 jail, to exploring deep connection with my lover, staying in VRBO chicken coop, just because it sounded interesting, showering outside under the starry sky and more…No matter your life situation love, you can live an adventure, I know because I have done so. I have had to raise five children on $17k a year, I have been homeless and camped for months pretending that we were just having a summer adventure when in truth I could not afford a roof over our head or food, I have stood over the ER bed of my child who was in a sever accident and wondered if there were a God, I have been diagnosed with painful illnesses, been through miscarriages, years of depression, divorce, rape, physical violence that broke my body, and more…. and you know what? My spirit said, “LETS THRIVE! You are worthy.”

And today, my life is totally different. So different that people dislike and judge me for THRIVING and sharing it.

So much so different, that I think about something and it easily manifests in days. My life is now magical because I get that thriving is who I AM.

 

And you are too.

———————————————————————————-

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to leap into a life that you love?

Lets connect and get you expanding and saying F-ck Yes! to your thriving life now.

It’s time you stop just getting by.

 

You are worth so much.

Message me for deet’s.

The Power of Facebook Memories….What it means to your F-ck Yes! Life.

You gotta love Facebook memories.
 
Don’t you?
I mean they make us laugh,
Make us smile,
Make us feel our hearts tug,
Bring up sadness,
Missing,
And appreciation.
 
Facebook memories….
This last weekend I have been off camping in a tipi out in Hawkins Texas. Its been a lovely experience with my youngest two children and boyfriend.
The pictures that are capturing all these fantastic and fun memories are something to be grateful for.
And if you are a scrapbooker like myself,
(Well in truth I have not scrapbooked for a decade, but I take pictures with the concept and image of one day getting them scrapbooked)
 
Then you can for sure appreciate the memories being stored for later creative projects.
 
And then there are those darn Facebook memories…
 
One year ago today….you were at this Jimmy Buffet Concert.
 
Four years ago today…. you were strolling down the beach in Jamaica with your ex.
And you were hiking Dunns Falls and eating lunch at Margaritavil.
 
Seven years ago today…. you were enjoying a romantic dinner and sexy time with another ex that you thought the relationship would last a lifetime with for how in love you were.
 
Eleven years ago…. your children were calling you a hippie mama and you were proud of the title.
 
Lol… just some memories from my life on today.
 
But you know what I noticed?
As I looked through all the pictures….
 
The authentic smiles and connection.
The joy and laughter.
The love.
 
Although fleeting,
And ever changing,
It was there and it is here today as well.
And for this I am grateful 🙏.
 
The people in our storyline tend to change,
As humans can be quiet fickle and our egos and hearts tend to whisk us all about.
 
But when you choose to focus on what matters most,
The love and connection.
The beautiful memories and moments shared,
Then the players in our stories are always perfect.
They are there for a reason in that season of our lives.
And when we can embrace that truth,
It makes our lives so much more fluid and enjoyable.
 
As I looked back on the memories of today over the last decade,
I felt a host of emotions.
I felt my heart expand and sink.
I looked into the eyes of these now strangers,
And asked silently,
What happened here?
I also saw clearly that it was not all bad,
It was not all fake,
It was not time, energy, love, LIFE wasted.
 
Not at all.
It was time shared in love.
And this is my message to you today,
See the beauty of your past and the players in it.
See the love and the life we’ll spent.
Because when you do this…
You capture more of this.
You allow more good times.
You make yourself more available to living in love.
To receiving joy, connection and love.
 
And doesn’t that sound better then looking at those years gone by from a feeling of bitterness, anger and loss?
 
I mean think about what you desire.
Look at what you want for.
Are you living in the energy of it now?
Can you feel it present in your past?
Do you know how to manifest it into your tomorrow?
 
By seeing and feeling it ALIVE in you now.
And looking for the evidence of it in your memories and in the makings of today.
 
Be in gratitude for your memories.
For your storylines and for those who danced the dance with you.
 
It is perfect just the way it is.
As are you.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”
Message me for deets on how to get the most out of your forever and live a F-ck Yes Life now.