I AM POWERFUL… But I Can’t Do THAT.

I AM POWERFUL.
I AM THE CREATOR OF MY WORLD.
I AM MY OWN BOSS.
I AM ALIGNED.
 
BUT….
I can’t do that.
 
Yeah THAT thing that you suggested.
THAT thing that scares me a little, that shakes my soul.
THAT thing that is calling me.
THAT thing that is appealing, that pulls me, but cost money.
THAT thing where I step out of this comfort.
THIS comfort of all that I AM.
THIS comfort that holds me right here, in the NOW.
THIS eternal NOW.
This eternal NOW that I desepratly crave to change,
because it does not feed me.
It does not satsify my soul.
It is NOT me.
And yet, I AM.
 
I AM…
 
I cannot say it.
I will not admit it.
I will avoid it at all cost.
Instead let’s discuss my limitations.
Hear my plea for these beautiful, justifiable limitations.
You see them.
You see my struggle.
You know I am not making these up.
 
Yes these are what rule me.
These are my obstacles.
These are my burdens, my wounds and my chains.
Yes, that is the comfort that I cannot let go of.
That is the comfort that I will argue for.
That is what I CHOOSE for my NOW.
 
BUT…
I can’t do that.
 
I can’t do this.
I can’t.
 
Do you understand?
Do you see my struggle.
Do you feel my soul, my heart.
 
I want so badly to be aligned.
I crave to have the life that I know is for me.
I want to feel my power.
My worthiness.
I want to love myself.
I want to be SEEN.
 
THIS expression of me that I AM right now,
THIS is not me.
And yet, it is.
 
Because I allow it.
Beacause I am use to it.
It is familiar.
It is safe,
even in its misery,
it is still all I know.
And therefore I believe that it is so.
When you tell me that I can be so much more than THIS.
When you look through to my CORE,
and you witness my light and smile,
I want to run and at the same time I want to strip myself further down,
to be fully revealed.
To embrace ALL THAT I AM.
 
And this finite version of me that I am familiar with and allow all to see,
this version it needs to be embraced and expanded.
I do not long to run from this version,
to hide it, or destroy it,
but to encorporate it into all THAT I AM.
 
It’s funny is it not?
But it is already so.
I AM already every piece of what I desire to be.
There is no encorporation to achieve.
But instead all that is required,
all that ever is required,
is to ALLOW.
 
And to KNOW….
THAT I AM POWERFUL.
 
But in order to fully become what I already AM….
I must let go all the practicle defiance of all THAT I AM.
 
And that means I must STOP making excuses.
I must own WHO I AM.
I must FEEL my worthiness without a need to prove anything.
I must step forward and push these false boundaries of time, money and space.
Of health, support and focus.
 
Yes.
I must command my universe to open itself to my expansion.
I must step forward into trusting all THAT I AM.
And NOW…
NOW I KNOW.
 
I must make what is familiar unfamiliar,
and what is unfamiliar familiar.
 
THIS…
THIS is my path.
 
I AM POWERFUL.
NO MORE EXCUSES- JUST ACCEPTANCE.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time for you to say yes to who you really are beautiful. It s time for you to commit to who you are,
to your soul and say YES.
Let’s work together 1:1 to bring you into the next decade of your life, the next year of your life fully embodied and activated.
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YOUR NEGATIVE FEEDBACK SHOWS JUST HOW OUT OF ALIGNMENT YOU TRULY ARE.

YOUR NEGATIVE FEEDBACK SHOWS JUST HOW OUT OF ALIGNMENT YOU TRULY ARE.
 
But thank you anyway for sharing it.
 
Many moon’s ago I learned this little bit of spiritual wisdom and it has made all the difference in how I deal with others and has helped me to soften my reaction to other as well.
 
After learning it,
I became more compassionate as I simply saw their judgments, opinions, criticisms and ideas about my life and ways,
even who I was or was not,
as a message as to how they actually saw themselves and just did not recognize it.
 
It is always so much easier to witness in others,
that, that we have challenges with ourselves on the most.
 
We see this all the time while driving.
People with road rage,
or people who quickly get defensive or frustrated on the road typically are the one’s who are not wanting to drive,
believe that people are bad drivers always,
believe that there is always way too much traffic,
that people don’t know how to merge.
And you catch these individuals yelping about everything negative on the road.
They also are the one’s who will get right up on your ass and honk,
will flip you off for no good reason,
will pass you quickly and push their way in to exit instead of just moving with the flow of traffic.
 
They enter the experience of driving with an energy about them.
 
It is the energy of pissed off frustration.
And they drive accordingly.
And they see it in all their fellow drivers even more so.
 
And it is just this way,
because THIS is what they are FOCUSED ON.
 
Focused on the negativity.
Focused on the anger that they feel.
They will say, ” I just don’t like crowds or people.”
But what they are saying is, ” I don’t like myself.”
or ” I am nervous, insecure around people.”
 
And their focus on the negativity,
on the fear,
the uncertainty,
the control that they desire,
makes them judgmental of everyone around them and keeps their eye’s open to only THAT that they are looking most for.
 
WHAT IS WRONG IN THIS WORLD.
 
What is wrong with you.
What is wrong with anyone.
 
And to make matters even more worse,
these fine folks with their critical eye want to help FIX IT.
And they KNOW they have the answer needed,
because they have been on the outside looking in and they see how to go about it.
 
They see the TRUTH.
Your TRUTH.
They have it all figured out.
And they WANT TO HELP.
 
Never realizing that they cannot help from the place that they are witnessing from,
because they are witnessing an illusion,
or at best an old version of the situation or of you.
They are witnessing the events from a place of scarcity, doubt,
a need to control.
They are witnessing from a place that is not whole.
That place being themselves.
And because their focus in on the negative and a need to fix, control, change things,
they are revealing just how they feel about themselves at the deepest of levels.
 
Because you see a person who LOVES THEMSELVES,
a person who is connected and aligned to SOUL,
a person who is respectful of being human,
a person who is compassionate,
a person who has true confidence and self-esteem,
who know’s how powerful they really are,
that sort of person has…
 
NO DESIRE TO JUDGE OR CRITICIZE.
 
When we judge.
When we criticize.
When we try and change or tell another how or who they are.
When we try and convince another that they are wrong on their path.
We in fact are attempting to CONTROL them.
And not loving them for just who they are, as is.
 
When we do these things,
we may use tactics such as guilt, shame or fear to get the results that we feel are right,
and in so doing so,
we cut down the heart and soul of the other person.
And if you get right with yourself,
you will realize just how crappy that actually feels to bring someone down.
 
No matter how good your reasoning may be,
it does not feel good.
 
And that is because
YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR OWN SOUL ALIGNMENT
in these moments.
 
So what do you do when you find yourself wanting to fix, judge or change someone?
 
You breathe and look at what is really coming up for you.
Instead ask yourself,
 
” How do I truly feel about myself right now?”
 
I mean really go there.
Don’t take that first response of,
” I feel great!”
That your ego will spout off.
 
If you want to connect to people.
If you want to enjoy life.
Be happy.
Be received from others.
If you want to know yourself and feel good about who you are.
To be loved and to love.
 
Then you owe yourself the TRUTH.
 
How do you feel about the person you are right now?
How do you feel about the life that you have right now?
 
Start there beautiful.
And take your focus off of everyone’s challenges.
Because whether they have them or not,
it does not matter.
 
Those challenges and issues,
those problems and wrong doings or beings,
that you perceive.
Are NOT YOURS to fix in any other than YOURSELF.
 
Start There.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
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Enjoy the shifting tales I share here but want that deep dive where you make the changes that you know you need to have the life that you know you were born for?
 
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You are worthy to live a F-ck Yes! Life.

Your Criticism Enables My Scarcity Mindset.

 

Your criticism enables my scarcity mindset!

Why can’t you just be happy for me?
Why can’t you just smile and let me live my life?
Why do you have to always try and fix what you deem broken,
when perhaps….

Just perhaps its not broken at all.

I get that your intent is not to slice me to the bone.
I get that you have no concept of the shame, the fear, the lack of worthiness that you trigger each time you aim to fix what you think needs fixing.

But honey beware.

Your words are powerful.
although you do not control me.
Ultimately it is my choice to fall prey to your desire for my brokenness,
be warned that these words you cast upon me and others,
be warned that these judgements,
these criticism’s have power.
And even the strongest in nature,
those of us who rebel from the control,
yes even us can be penetrated after time,
with these words of fear.

As time passes and you search for more weakness in me,
as you look for how you can save me,
teach me,
heal me,
support me,
your words become like Chinese water torture,
like nails on a chalk board.
They make me cringe,
they set me on defense.
They steal away my ability to feel you.

And now I stand here guarded.
Ready to take my punishment.
Now before I even start to share,
before I take any step forward or to the side,
I already hear your words of criticism,
and I know…
I know that no matter what I do,
no matter how turned on I am to my life,
no matter how much in flow and a state of passion I might be,
no matter the creative genius that wants to stem from my core.

I know.
I know that in your eye’s I am broken.
I know that in your mind I need to learn.
I know that you see me as this child,
this silly naive thing that needs your saving,
needs your fixing.
And so why bother?
Why even try and speak my truth?
Why try and do anything,
because I already know.

And so I settle into the average and ordinary.
I settle into the surface level relating.
Depth and being seen is too painful.

I feel stupid.
I feel dumb.
I feel ugly.
I feel unlovable.
I feel like no matter what,
it does not matter,
because I am wrong.

Or I will get it wrong.
Or it will be messed up by my touch,
by my words,
it’s just me.
And I should just not be.

Your criticism enables my scarcity mindset!
You enable me to not step up and be all that I can be.
You enable me to fear my power.
You enable me to fear my creative soul.
You enable me to keep hating myself.
You enable me to see all my lack of worth.
You enable me….

AND FOR WHAT?

Do you really believe that your words of judgement will entice me into becoming more?
Do your really believe that you know my calling,
my purpose,
my heart better than I or God?
Do you think that your need to fix me is inspiring?

Because it is not!
And lucky for me…
I will never listen.
And when I feel these chisels from you to cut me down,
to make me fear,
to make me become logical.

Yes lucky for me,
I am a F-CK YOU!

and I will move away.
I will step back.
I will turn around.
I will not listen.

Instead I will laugh.
Because you,
you are the lost one.
You are the broken one.
You are the one that needs me.

But honey,
that you will not ever have.
Because the tribe I run too,
is a tribe that is wild.
A tribe that is free.
A tribe that is supportive through love.
Supportive through the building up.
Through the appreciation.
Yes that is my tribe.

And so I encourage you to stop this ridiculous need of cutting down, and finding fault, of looking for what is broken or wrong.
I encourage you to instead step into your power.

I encourage you to look for what makes you happy with me.
What makes you happy with life.
What makes you happy with you.

Because all this criticism although seeming pointed at me,
it is not I that you actually have issue with,
it is not I that frustrates you so,
it is not I who needs your saving…

But it is YOU.

So look in that mirror my dear.
Look closely in your eye,
and tell yourself something positive.

Then continue to speak those words.
Because what you focus on grows.

I love you.
You are worthy.

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

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WHAT YOU WANT YOU CAN’T GIVE 100% OF THE TIME.

You know what you are looking for in your life?
You know what you are wanting in your relationships?
 
It’s the very thing that is so hard to give.
We all have trouble offering it 100% of the time.
And in truth we simply will never be it 100%.
 
We can’t be it all the time,
because we are works in progress,
always getting to know ourselves a tad bit deeper.
And it is a scary ground to walk on.
But geeze do our souls desire it so.
 
What could I be speaking of beautiful?
 
Well its not more sex.
It’s not even love.
It’s not a pat on the back.
Or more money.
 
No.
 
The thing that we often desire is a little thing that you can not hold in your hands,
you can feel with your skin,
you cannot guarantee ever.
But you want it.
You want it, this I am sure.
 
That thing I speak of beautiful is:
 
TRUTH.
INTEGRITY.
HONESTY.
AUTHENTICITY.
 
So often I hear people say,
” I am an honest person.”
 
” All I want is to know the truth.”
” I hate drama and manipulation.”
” I am a person of their word.”
” I am just being me.”
 
Mmmm- Hmmmmm….
 
Is that so?
Is that true?
 
Perhaps it may feel that way to you.
And perhaps you may actually believe that you are.
And in many moments you most likely are.
But today I offer up the pondering of the possibility that maybe, just maybe you are not as authentically honest and truthful as you believe you are.
 
Perhaps you are human,
just like the rest of us out here.
Perhaps you are on a journey to discover who you are and even though you think you know,
you still find yourself waking up to new aspects of who you actually are each time the shiz hits the fan and you are triggered.
 
Every time someone asks something of you and you make an excuse.
Every time, someone shares something with you in confidence and you share it just once with this good friend over here.
Every time you get triggered and your words escape your mouth before you have thought them through.
Every time you blame and point that finger.
Every time you weep in feeling you are alone and story tell to yourself the lies that support.
Every time someone does not react the way that you desire and so you say something to make them change their mind…
 
Yes every time.
 
Every time you tell your lover something that is not true.
Every time you look down from yourself in the mirror.
Every time you shut down your heart from feeling what you said.
Every time YOU ARE ASKED TO STEP UP and speak your truth.
 
Oh, beautiful every time.
 
These are all moments when we choose to step back from that which we desire so deeply to have.
 
And by stepping back from our own truth,
we lean just a tad into that vibe of illusion.
And we lie to ourselves.
We lie to others as well.
It often feel’s so small,
it should not matter.
But each time we step away from our truth,
we close off AUTHENTIC COMMUNICATION.
 
We shut ourselves down to love.
Because often beautiful,
in moment like these,
love is there.
Just on the other side of our illusions,
where we choose to lift our head,
say no to the ego of trying to get out of something or to manipulate.
 
Yes on the other side we find love.
We find freedom.
We find confidence.
And we regain trust.
 
You will never be a trustworthy person if you cannot stand in your own integrity,
even when you have fallen,
to stand in integrity is to give yourself grace enough to say,
“I was wrong.”
 
Where have you stepped away from that which you desire so much?
 
And how can you step back into authentic relating with those you love and care for?
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
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BURNING BRIDGES THAT DO NOT NEED BURNT IS A SIGN OF YOUR RESISTANCE TO RECEIVING ALL THAT YOU WANT

BURNING BRIDGES THAT DO NOT NEED BURNT IS A SIGN OF YOUR RESISTANCE TO RECEIVING ALL THAT YOU WANT
 
Here we go again!
Around and around,
the mood pool where you get mad and sad in some crazy eight pattern,
( hey, that is a real thing ya know – the crazy eight cycle).
 
But here we go again beautiful,
you are feeling insecure, irritated, anxiety ridden and abandoned,
you are feeling jealous, vengeful, angry and hurt.
And you have chosen that the way through your crazy eight is the same old pattern that you have always done,
its the same old system of crazy.
But once again you forget that you have visited these grounds so many times before.
 
You are lost beautiful,
and even though you feel it deep at your core,
the suffering is smothering to your life,
you refuse to take responsibility for things,
for YOU.
 
And here we go,
your anger pushes everyone away.
Your fear of loosing has you painting a mirage of fear and pain.
And you light the match.
 
It’s a match that you have lit before,
and so far when you come back to self you discover that the fire that you tried to set,
the scorching of the land that you wanted gone,
is still there,
and when you come back around and breathe,
you are grateful that nothing burned down.
 
But here is the thing beautiful,
you can only lite that match so many times,
You can only throw it down on this bridge and watch the smoke rise,
feel the heat,
and take pride in the false control that you are exhibiting.
Because baby,
you cannot control the fire that you have started.
And every match from the past,
has all the onlookers shook in their trust.
 
They see you darling.
They see your fear.
They see that you desire to control.
They see as does your SOUL,
that you are under some spell.
 
That spell has you believing that you will loose and if you are to loose and be abandoned,
be stepped over in this life and forgotten then damn it,
you will control how you go out.
And drop the match you do,
watch the fire as they burn away your connections.
 
But somewhere down this path beautiful,
when you awaken from this slumber of your ego,
of your illusion,
you will see that no one is casting you aside.
That was ALL YOU…
believing your fear.
 
Instead what you were fearing was not at all the abandonment,
what you were fearing was the connection,
the growth,
the receiving.
And what you missed to realize is that you were on the cusp of something amazing.
The birthing of a new phase in your life.
You were leveling up!
You were elevating to a new you.
 
And it was uncomfortable.
It was a scary and strange feeling.
 
And THAT…
THAT is what activated this fire.
Your fear of success.
 
And so beautiful,
you drop that match.
You drop it and you run,
claiming that you are being attacked,
claiming that you are a victim to this life,
to those who cross your path.
Never recognizing that NOW you have started a raging fire.
And lost the trust,
lost the support,
lost the connection.
And in order for you to have any hope of regaining any part of what you scorched in the flames of your fear,
you will have to work 10x harder.
None will trust who have seen.
None will trust who you have poured your rage out on.
But beautiful,
the answer is always the same.
The answer is to recognize.
To see yourself.
To love yourself.
And to do your healing.
 
“If you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you” – Author Unknown
 
And this beautiful,
THIS is where your WORK BEGINS.
 
To all of us works in progress out there,
may these words sound truth to your core and bring to you awareness of the responsibility we each have on our lives and the impact that our suffering and fear of moving forward can have on those in our lives.
 
May you pause before you throw the next match.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
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Photography Credit to Photographyinwonderland.

Stop Loosing Yourself In The Goodbye Beautiful.

Doesn’t F-cking Matter!
People say goodbye all the time, in so many ways.
People turn away from you,
some you feel,
some you don’t notice.

But at the end of the day,
It doesn’t f-cking matter either way.

They came into your life for a reason.
This you can be sure

How long someone hangs with you baby,
Well that is upto your spiritual contract with them.
What do I mean by that?

What kind of crazy new age concept is a spiritual contract anyway?

In this instance I am referring to the lessons you gain from the relationship. And EVERY relationship teaches us something.

Its important to realize that we are in relationship WITH EVERYTHING and EVERYONE in our lives too.
So get right with that RIGHT NOW gorgeous.

Those short meetups, hook ups, chatting and getting no where with people that pop through your life and wonder WTF was that about?
Was there to present some lesson or deeper understanding into your life,
Into who you are,
And how you are VIBING.

And when they leave.
You can say it doesn’t matter anyway.
And it doesn’t!

As long as you got from them what you were meant to.

Were you present enough in that relationship,
No matter how short lived it was or not,
No matter the drama,
The trauma,
The heartbreak.

Did you get your lesson beautiful?
Did you?

Cuz if you chose to get caught up in the ego of what happened,
and you missed the lesson,
Then baby,
You are going to have to rinse and repeat.

And that’s why you run into the same people over and over again just with a different face,
Different story.

And when you get caught up in the ego of the loss,
You loose something much more significant and valuable then that relationship.
You loose a piece of you.
When you sit a stare at the people who are unliking or unfollowing you on social media,
When you pay more attention to who is not paying attention to you,
When you wait for the lack of response from that person you went out on a date with,
Or hooked up with,
When you get caught up in the certainly that so and so will apologize or come back,
When you wait….

You loose yourself.
And at the end of your days beautiful,
It doesn’t f-cking matter anyway.

Their goodbye.
Thier shut down.
Thier blindness.
Thier disconnect.

None of it matters.
And you deserve so much better.
But here is the thing,
YOU have to allow yourself to have better.
YOU have to stop making yourself available for that shiz.
YOU have to stop resisting your beauty,
Your greatness,
Your value.
And you have to get THAT lesson.

Because baby,
The best is yet to come.

It is!
You just have to change what your looking for.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
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Until you DO THIS THING you will never succeed in any area you want. Jacked but true!

What if I told you that the one thing you are sitting around and contemplating,
the one thing that you are procrastinating on,
and have been this whole time,
is the THING.
 
The THING that until you deal with it,
until you put your head down and JUST DO,
until you STOP the insanity of attempting to ignore it,
when your SOUL is screaming,
begging and doing everything it can,
to get you to pay attention and JUST DO IT.
Is holding you back.
 
Yes beautiful!
 
This THING,
and you know the thing.
You know you know the thing.
 
Until you do the THING,
you will not have success anywhere else.
 
That is a hard pill to swallow.
And you may say, but the thing is so small.
The thing has NOTHING to do with anything else.
The thing is unimportant.
The thing cannot have that big of an impact on my life.
No the thing,
it cannot be that THING.
That is just silly.
 
But what if….
Seriously now,
what if this thing IS the reason that you are struggling so damn hard in the areas of your life that you are?
 
What if the procrastination,
the excuses,
the fears and worries about this thing,
and the avoidance of doing this thing,
is truly enough kink in your abundance hose,
your ability to manifest the life that you want in all areas.
To make it seem like you are not worthy.
Not good enough.
Not whatever….
 
What if it’s like setting the coordinates of an airplane off by one degree?
 
Can you imagine where a plane would end up if that happened.
 
One degree over the course of time,
just a short period of time at that,
would make the planes destination completely change.
The goal may be New York,
but they might land in Beijing.
And what challenges would come of this one degree difference on the set path?
Perhaps not having enough gas.
Among many other issues.
And then they would land at a destination they were not wanting.
 
Yes, beautiful.
What if you thought about the THING that you have been procrastinating on like this.
What if you just for a few days, a month or whatever time needed to see results, changes happen, did a little experiment with this THING.
 
What if….
What if you just did the THING?
 
Crazy.
 
What if you did the thing,
and in doing the thing,
all your other things,
magically fixed themselves.
The things you wanted to manifest,
just happened to manifest with ease.
 
What if because you no longer were procrastinating about this thing,
were no longer running from it,
hiding from it,
as if it were some monster,
that you looked in the mirror now with confidence.
With certainty.
With love.
 
What if this very THING,
is what is holding you back from THRIVING beautiful?
What if it is the ONLY effing reason that you are not living the life that you want right now?
 
Is this thing worthy of stealing your greatest life ever?
It is worth you sacrificing your joy,
your love,
your abundance over?
 
Is it?
 
Well is it?
 
Go and ponder this thing today beautiful.
Look at it truly and ask yourself if it is that big of a mountain to climb,
that scaring of a feat to tackle,
that enormous of whatever the eff it is,
that you are going to continue even for the rest of this beautiful day,
full of life and opportunity,
allow….
 
Allow it to take away everything that you desire and want for yourself.
 
You have the power beautiful.
It is nothing more than a choice.
It is your choice.
No one else’s.
 
You cannot keep making the excuses that you have been making and avoiding this thing any longer,
if you step into listening to that beautiful heart of yours.
You say that you are committed.
You say that you really want it.
You are doing all the work that it takes.
You are so focused.
So motivated.
So brilliant.
 
But beautiful,
your f-cking it all up.
 
By NOT doing this thing!
 
So take a big breath right now,
stand up from where you are at,
and take no more crap from yourself.
 
And do the THING that you have been procrastinating on all this time.
 
Destroy what is holding you back,
by stepping into yourself that much more.
 
Bye bye avoidance.
Bye bye procrastination.
Hello SOUL.
Hello manifestation.
 
You are magic.
 
And remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to take that step?
I sure hope that you have come to realize that this fence that you are sitting on is not a fence of safety,
but a fence of saying no to self,
saying no to your dreams and desires and living the way God intended on you living.
THRIVING.
 
Yes BABY.
It is time that you decide..
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Take Caution Not To Dishonor Your Lover’s Love.

You dishonor who I am.
You dishonor my life.
You dishonor the love I have felt.
You dishonor my choices.
You even dishonor yourself.
And for what?

To proclaim that you are better than,
greater than.
That you know,
you understand,
you are more of a man.
Than he.

You proudly stand before me,
claiming your love.
Never stopping to realize that I have felt a greater love then you can even fathom.
You will never know the love that has captivated my heart,
my soul and carried me into the heavens.
You will never know of it,
or understand it because you refuse to accept that I have ever even been loved.
In your proclamations of how you can show me love.
You can reveal to me how a woman is to be cared for.
What “real dating, courting” is about.
That you, yes you are the gentlemen that knows this better than any other who has ever crossed my path.

As you stand there,
with that glimmer in your eye’s,
with that smirk on your face,
with that smugness in your body,
and you vocalize how it should be.
And how you aim to show me.

You do nothing more than dishonor me.

You state with each word of disbelief,
a declaring that I have never felt anything worth anything,
that I am naive,
unknowing,
and have poor taste in men.

If this is true,
if you truly believe that no man has ever really loved me.
If you really believe that,
then why should I believe that you are any better?
And realize that we all have fears around love and being lovable,
so when you make such assumptions,
in an essence you support this fear that I am just that.
Unlovable.

So if I have felt this deep.
If I have opened up in vulnerability to this level,
surrendered my very soul over to another,
smelled of this loves sweetness and been blessed to inhale the intoxicating scent of roses in my love making.
But none of it is true…

Then what possibly could you offer me sir?

You say I was nothing more than a pretty piece on his arm.
You say he wanted me only for my sex.
You say that he had never an intent of going the distance.
You say that he never brought true life experience to me.
You say that he never romanced me properly,
dated me properly.

You say a lot for man that has no clue.
That is blind.
That is making a lot of judgments based on only your own hopes that this is such.

But I will tell you this sir.
I will tell you that you have not a clue.
And because you come at me in such dishonor,
preaching of your love,
trying to kill what I hold dear.

Realize that you will NEVER succeed at killing off this love.
You will never destroy my heart.
Your fear,
your hunger,
your desire to control,
will never compare to that which I hold dear.

I welcome your childish attempts.
They do nothing but strengthen what has always been.

And so I say this loud and true,
please hear me now blind sir,
you have not a chance at ever captivating this heart of mine.

You refuse to listen.
You refuse to truly feel me.
You refuse to accept that in order to come into my heart that you will have to top this love,
and trying to destroy,
to mock,
or make light of what my soul has felt,
is not the way to penetrate my heart.

But I do assure you,
it is the way out of my life.

You dishonor me with your fear.
You dishonor me with your desire to make me small.
You dishonor me with your hatred of my love.

And so we say goodbye.

—————————————————————————–

I share this intimacy from my heart and soul today to all of you gentlemen and women alike who find a need to discredit someone’s past relationships.

No matter your relationship with someone,
but for sure if you have romantic interest in them,
please take heed to this poem here.

Never try to captivate their heart by attempting to destroy a past love.

This only show’s your weakness.
Your fear.

Instead listen to the sweetness that that love has brought to them,
allow yourself to hear,
learn what another has done and what your lover wants more of.

Do not be foolish enough to believe that because this love they speak of is not present in the here and now,
that it is any less than potentially the love of this person’s life.

Not all love is meant to be held for a life time.
But all love does expand us and transform us.

Never make judgments on another’s heart.
You only weaken or destroy your place in theirs.

Instead be –
Present
Open
Vulnerable
Supportive

And cherish this moment with them.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

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WAITING the F-ck Around!

Don’t you think it is time?
Are you tired like I am?
 
You know what I get tired of?
 
WAITING the F-ck Around!
 
I am tired of waiting for my packages to get delivered.
I mean it is all on it’s way to me.
And to you.
And here we sit,
almost spinning on our thumbs some days.
WAITING the F-ck Around!
 
How much longer till I get what I want?
How much longer till the life that I want manifests itself?
Till the money is in the bank?
Till my true love, my soulmate knocks on my door?
 
How much longer till I fill satisfied,
happy and full.
 
I tell you sometimes I just get exhausted working my a*s off,
day after day,
list after list,
and speaking up,
speaking out,
sharing from the deepest parts of my soul,
and still it seems that things are just not moving at the speed that I desire.
 
It is like the hose is kinked somewhere.
You know what I mean?
 
It is crazy.
And maybe you get what I am saying and maybe you don’t.
 
I am speaking to those out there who seem to be kickin’ it like the bad a*s that you are,
the one’s who are putting in the time and the energy,
the one’s who are doing the mindset work,
the one’s who are not afraid of their shadow lands,
the one’s who get the power that resides inside of them,
the one’s who know how to call things in,
and are focused mother f-ckers like no other’s.
 
YES YOU.
 
I am speaking to you.
And you know what I am saying,
I am saying that it is high f-cking time that things HAPPEN.
No more WAITING the F-ck Around.
No more making excuses.
No more looking the other way,
no more saying, ” I just need to focus more.”
” I just need to work harder.”
“I just need to love myself more.”
” I just need to be more authentic.”
“Show up more.”
 
 
NO WAY.
JUST STOP THE INSANITY.
 
Doing more is not going to get you there.
I know that may seem opposite of what you have been told.
I know that you may be able to reason out that doing more,
working harder, smarter, and showing up more is where it is at.
 
But, NO.
You need not do this.
 
And here is why.
 
Because the more you do this.
The more you send energy into what is NOT HAPPENING FOR YOU.
 
And the more you end up turning all that you love,
turning your art,
your souls work and passion,
your hearts desires,
INTO WORK.
 
And now it is just a duty.
An end to a means.
It is no longer enjoyable.
It is no longer fun.
It no longer makes you happy.
You are not SMILING.
 
And this has you WAITING the F-ck Around!
For everything.
 
Now I am not saying break out the tub of ice cream,
and crash on the couch vegging out on your favorite NetFlix series.
 
No, this would be average and ordinary setting in.
And after a short bit of that,
sure you may feel more relaxed for a second,
but that monkey mind of yours will be working overtime on all those things that you “should” be doing.
And that will only land you back into the mental craziness.
( I mean if you are anything like me 🤪🤓)
 
And if that is not what happens,
then it means that you let laziness grab you by your dreamers balls and start to eat away at everything that you want,
almost believing that you don’t have to get up and get moving,
that the hustle is over rated and not needed.
And that is bullsh*t too.
Just another sidestep from your ego,
preventing you from doing anything else,
then what is needed.
 
And you know what is needed?
 
What is needed is for you to COMMIT.
Once and for all.
 
Just STOP THE INSANITY and of being available for this WAITING the F-ck Around!
 
You don’t have to do more.
You don’t need to sit on your thumbs and wait and pray.
But what you DO NEED to do,
is SETTLE into WHO THE F-ck YOU ARE!
 
And just Enjoy Your Day.
Enjoy your Art.
Enjoy BEING YOU.
 
Stop the insanity,
means stop hating on yourself.
Stop stressing your lush a*s out about everything.
Stop STOPPING your flow.
 
Stop making it all about WORK.WORK.WORK.
And what has NOT YET MANIFESTED.
 
You are acting like that four year old on a road trip screaming not 15 minutes into the journey,
“Are we there yet?”
 
And how beneficial is this?
Seriously.
I get it.
Really I do.
I do it as well.
All too much.
 
And the truth is the truth.
It is HIGH time that we STOP WAITING the F-ck Around!
And just simply embrace who we are.
 
Born leaders.
Born lovers.
Born creators.
 
Yes you Beautiful.
You are this.
And it is all yours.
And there is no waiting.
There is ONLY LIVING RIGHT NOW.
 
So Stop making yourself available for all this low VIBE sh*t,
and just CALL in your DESIRE.
You have the power.
 
It is called your CHOICE.
Your choice to focus on that which is AWESOME RIGHT NOW,
or to keep your eye on ALL that you don’t have.
Thus creating more….
 
WAITING the F-ck Around!
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
 
Don’t wait another one, two, five, ten years to start THRIVING.
Make 2019 the year of you claiming YOU.

Not Responsible for Your Emotions.

Oh love, why do you blame yourself for all that others have going on?

Why do you take responsibility for their emotions, 
their happiness, their joy?

Why do you stand there in all your power and let them deplete you so that they can feel stable yet again?

Oh love, this does nothing for you.
And even though it may appear for some split second that you are helping those you care about to be better, 
you are not truly assisting them.

You teach them nothing by your soothing of what is not yours to soothe.

And you know at your core how dangerous this soothing can be for your own well being, 
and for the relationship as well.

But, it is hard to not try and fix. 
It is difficult to say no. 
It feels harsh to state the truth, 
that it is NOT your responsibility for their whirlwind emotions. 
For their ebbs and flows. 
Their highs and lows. 
Their over thinking and worry.

Sure you can change who you are. 
You can say things as that they want to hear. 
You can pretend to be a way that is not in truth to your soul. 
And you can pretend. 
You can be that pretender and give them the “love” that they think is love and think they want from you.

That they deserve,
or that you should do if you truly cared. 
Truly loved them.

You could change every facit of yourself to meet the needs of another, 
and at the end of your attempts you would discover that they were still lost and now you are too.

And that is all that you would give them. 
The loss of who you are. 
The loss of your own soul
and direction. 
And you too my love, 
would then be like those that want this of us.
Lost, sad and masking.
Afraid to look deep within. 
And find what all of us must, ‘if we are to discover our truth, 
our happiness.

That my love is the simple, harsh reality. 
That no one on this planet is here to please another, 
other than the self. 
It is not your life requirement, 
to be responsible for another’s peace of mind, 
happiness or feeling love.

Just like it is not up to them to do this for you.
These things are ONLY found from within. 
And until they are found, 
by the seeker himself, 
deep within the caverns of their own mind and heart, 
they will never feel complete, 
never feel safe or without worry. 
They will continue to question the love offered, 
and look for every reason that it is not correct.

Yes my love, 
it is the truth of this matter, 
that no matter how much you love another, 
no matter how much you show up in truth, 
no matter how much you give of self, 
that you can never heal another.

You can never save them from their own demons. 
As false as they may be to you, 
these fears will continue to arise, 
until they learn how to shine the light into their own darkness, 
to soothe their own fears without destroying the world around them, 
and embrace that love that they believe they feel for you, 
because that love is what is inside awaiting them.
That love for you my dear, 
is only a sign of the greatness of love that they have for self once uncovered and embraced in its glory.

And it is this love that must be triggered from within and seen for it’s truth.

It is this peace, 
this joy, 
this feeling of bliss and freedom, 
that we experience in our relating that we must see for what it is.

It is HERE.
HERE with us always. 
It has NOTHING to do with another. 
It has EVERYTHING to do with self. 
The relationship is but only awakening us to it.
But, we never loose it. 
We are never without it.

And we are most certainly never responsible for managing another’s emotional or mental state.

No, my love. 
It is not your concern. 
It does not mean you are bad. 
Or evil. 
Or not loving. 
It simply means that you hold priority for the most valuable person in your life. 
That person who looks back at you from the mirror.

So keep stating your truth. 
Keep sharing your heart ,
and your soul.

Never allow another, 
no matter how far they crash, 
to steal you from yourself, 
in hopes of saving them.

You are worth so much love my dear. 
You are worth all that you carry in your heart. 
A thousand lifetimes worth. 
So step forward in faith my love, 
Step forward and keep CLAIMING YOU!

As Always, 
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”