10 Things You Should Know about Sex

1. Sex is God’s good creation.

God in his great wisdom, for his glory and our good, has chosen to place us in a world where sex is a significant part of the human experience. The issue of sex is important and unavoidable because God, in wisdom and love, chose it to be.

Because sex is the creation of God’s hand and exists under the control of his sovereignty, we should approach it with reverence and awe, not with embarrassment and timidity. Sex came from him, belongs to him, and continues to exist through him—to him be the glory.

2. Sex can be dangerous.

Sadly, today sex—a beautiful creation of God—functions in the surrounding culture like a spiritual solvent eating away at the very fabric of the human community. It has perverse power to master your heart and, in so doing, determine the direction of your life. It gives the buzz that you’re in control while, at the very same time, becoming the master that progressively chains you to its control. It offers you an inner sense of well-being while having no capacity whatsoever to satisfy your heart.

It seduces you with the prospect of contentment-producing pleasure but leaves you empty and craving more. Sex holds out the possibility that you will finally be satisfied but instead causes you to envy whoever has more and better than you do. It sells you the lie that physical pleasure is the pathway to spiritual peace. Sex is the work of the Creator’s hands but tends to promise you what only the Creator can deliver. It is beautiful in itself but has become distorted and dangerous by means of the fall.

3. Suffering will impact your sexuality.

If suffering is every person’s experience, then you should expect suffering to impact your sexuality. You will suffer the reality that right here, right now, sex doesn’t function the way that God intended. You will face the redefinition, distortion, and misuse of sex. You suffer the temptation to take your sexual life outside of God’s clear boundaries.

You will suffer being blindsided by sexual temptation at the mall, on your computer, when watching Netflix, or, sadly, even when you’re doing a Google search on your phone. You will suffer women exposing their bodies in public or men treating women like they’re little more than physical toys for their pleasure. You will suffer the hardship of trying to protect your children from all the sexual danger out there, while you work to keep your own heart pure.

Because you know of all the seductive temptations, you will suffer issues of trust with those you love. Some of us will suffer sexual abuse, and others of us will suffer the exhaustion that comes from trying to keep our hearts pure. You will suffer misunderstanding and mockery as you try to stay inside God’s boundaries in a culture that laughs at the thought of sexual boundaries. Paul assumes that we will suffer, and if he’s right (and he is), that suffering will include our sexuality.

4. Sex cannot satisfy your heart.

Sex is powerfully pleasurable, but it cannot satisfy your heart. The touch of another person stimulates your body and your heart, but it never leaves you fulfilled. Sex connects you in powerful and dramatic ways to another person, but it has no ability whatsoever to make you a better person.

Whether we know it or not, every human being lives in search of a savior. We are all propelled by a quest for identity, inner peace, and some kind of meaning and purpose. And we all look for it somewhere. Here’s the bottom line: looking to creation to get what only the Creator can give you always results in addiction of some kind. The thing you hoped would serve you pulls you into its service. What seemed like freedom ends up being bondage. The thing is not the problem; what you’ve asked of it is.

God’s creative intention was to bring glory to himself by the pleasures he created.

5. God is at the center of your sexual world.

Our problem with sex doesn’t begin with lust, with bad choices, or with sexual misbehavior. Our problem with sex begins when we forget that God must be at the center of this part of our lives as he must be with any other. When you have no greater motivation in sex than your own satisfaction, you are already in sexual trouble, even if you don’t know it yet. How have you tended to put yourself in the center of your world of sexuality?

Whether or not you functionally recognize it, at the epicenter of your sexual world exists a God of awesome power, glory, and grace. Sex in its rightful place in your heart and life always begins by recognizing that he is at the center.

6. Sex is deeply spiritual.

Sex is not an a-religious thing. Sex is deeply spiritual. Your relationship to your own sexuality and the sexuality of others always reveals your heart. Your sexual life is always an expression of what you truly worship. Sex is deeply religious. In sex you are either self-consciously submitting to God or setting yourself up as God. In other words, sex is never simply a horizontal thing. Sex always connects you to the God who created your body, gave you eyes to see and a heart that desires, and tells you how you are to steward this aspect of your personhood.

7. Sexual sin starts with your heart.

Here’s where the words of Christ drive us: our struggle with sexual sin is not first a struggle with the environment in which we live or with the people that we live near. Our struggle with sexual sin reveals the dark and needy condition of our hearts. We are our biggest problem.

When it comes to sexual sin, the greatest sexual danger to any human being anywhere lives inside him, not outside. Isolation, changes of location and relationship, and management of behavior never work because they don’t target the place where the problem exists—the heart.

8. Pleasure is God-glorifying.

God’s creative intention was to bring glory to himself by the pleasures he created. Each pleasurable thing was perfectly created and designed to reflect and point to the greater glory of the One who created it. These things were designed to be pleasure inducing but also for a deeply spiritual purpose.

They were meant to remind you of him. They were meant to amaze you not just with their existence but with the wisdom, power, and glory of the One who made them. They were put on earth to be one of God’s means of getting your attention and capturing your heart. The pleasure of sex is meant to remind me of the glory of my intimate union with Christ, which only grace could produce.

9. The pleasure of sex is no substitute for God’s grace.

It’s right to celebrate the goodness of God in giving you sweet pleasures to enjoy, and you should never feel guilty enjoying them as long as you do it within his boundaries and for his glory. It’s wonderful to celebrate the tasty pleasures of food, the stunning beauty of a fine piece of art, the sweet intimacy of sex, or the sound drama of a well-written piece of music. But as you’re celebrating pleasure, don’t forget to celebrate grace.

God’s grace has the power to protect you from asking of pleasure what you should not ask. God’s grace gives you the power to say no to the seductive call of pleasure when it is vital to say no. God’s grace offers you forgiveness when you have failed to do both these things. And God’s grace ushers you into the presence of the One who alone can give you the lasting satisfaction and joy that your heart seeks. So as you’re celebrating the physical pleasures of the created world, take time to celebrate the eternal pleasures of redemption.

10. Sex is intended to point us to God himself.

Since God created both you and sex, it is impossible to properly understand sex and participate in it appropriately if you are practically ignoring God and his existence. By means of creation you are his, and your sex life is his.

Sex that recognizes God’s existence becomes the beautiful, intimate, relational act of worship that it was intended to be. In the midst of all its physical delights, it does not forget God. It remembers that everything enlivened and enjoyed in sex belongs to him. It rests in his control and celebrates his care in the midst of the most intimate of human connections.

Paul David Tripp (DMin, Westminster Theological Seminary) is a pastor, author, and international conference speaker. He is also the president of Paul Tripp Ministries. He has written a number of popular books on Christian living, including What Did You Expect?Dangerous CallingParenting, and New Morning Mercies. He lives in Philadelphia with his wife Luella and they have four grown children. For more information and resources, visit paultrippministries.org.

90 Days of No Orgasm- Say What?

“My body is tense and tight as are my emotions and heart. I feel little love, appreciation or compassion let alone toleration. Or perhaps that is all I feel. I am tolerating life. I am tolerating work. I am tolerating my family.  There is no feeling of interconnectedness, no desire washing through me.  I feel lost, alone, depressed without reason, fatigued and sore. I feel loveless and angry. I feel an ever growing panic inside of my soul. As if my life is being stolen and for what?

The smile on my face and my light-hearted attitude that everyone sees is far from my internal reality where it’s more like being trapped in the swamps of some limbo land of the forgotten. I am unseen, unheard and feeling unworthy. Unworthy of being seen, heard, loved, sexed properly, or even cuddled and nurtured. Sure, I can reach out to my children or girlfriends for emotional support and snuggles, but this is not what my soul craves to keep itself alive. No, my soul craves to be held safe in the arms of the masculine. To be loved, adored, cherished and ravished to the marrow in my bones and through every last cell of my physical being. My soul craves with ever expanding fear to be penetrated mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally by the masculine. It needs to weep and laugh while singing its orgasmic rapture before my lover. It needs to feel safe while opening into the darkest corners of vulnerability. It needs to feed like a ravenous vampire on the love that can be expressed and felt during gourmet sexing. It needs to be felt with every tilt and pulse of my pelvis as I wrap my legs around my lover and pull him deeper where he has no choice but to surrender and bow at my alter. Where he can no longer deny my passion, my thirst for him and for life. My soul needs to burn. It needs to be ignited and seen. It needs to be felt and embraced in return.

Alas, this is not the case. Instead my soul is dying. It is dim and lifeless. It lives in its own shadow of a time since gone. Instead I feel numbness that is not numb but painful. My body is over ridden with what feels like a plague. I question existence, purpose, and reason. I question my worth. Looking inward I see a woman who is lost and feels like life has been stripped away, yet there is still a glimmer of hope. This glimmer is hungry, it wants so badly to be strong and to push forward. It wants to feel again, to live again, to heal and most of all it wants to breathe.


90 days is a short time line. You can do anything for 90 days, right?

90 days is a extremely long time as well. It can change your whole chemical, molecular being. It can retrain your thoughts and it can open you up to the vastness that life has to offer, or it can shut you down and make you question life.

90 days can heal you.

90 days can torture you.

It only takes 90 days to turn a turned on woman into a woman who is under-fucked, bitter, numb and on the verge of hysteria. How do I know this? Because I am that woman.  I am that turned on woman in the spot light, leading others to a turned on state of being and I am also that under-fucked woman crying out from the shadows of the dungeon of hysteria begging for mercy. That mercy being orgasm.

Orgasm use to come to me so easily. I could easily have 20+ orgasms in one love making session. I would experience clitoral, G-spot, cervical, female ejaculation and emotional orgasms just to name a few. They would course through my veins and roll through my body with ease, feeding me. Leaving me fulfilled and with so much to give to the people and world around me. I felt youthful, alive, confident, connected, passionate, full of desire and certainty. I could move through obstacles with faith and love. “


90 days of no orgasm sends you in another direction though.

29 things that 90 days of No Orgasm Gets You- My Personal Observation

  • Irregular periods
  • Heavier menstrual flow with more pain and moodiness
  • A constant feeling of female blue balls- aching in my pelvis
  • Less fluid stride in my walking
  • Decreased confidence
  • Depressed
  • Anxious
  • Headaches and body pain
  • Decreased immune system- keep getting sick, always feel sick and cannot get well quickly
  • Fatigue
  • Increased hunger
  • Weight gain
  • My once clear skin now has numerous acne breakouts
  • Feeling of hopelessness
  • Zero desire for anything
  • A short fuse – limited patience/toleration and understanding
  • Once clear head now has mental chatter
  • Breast tenderness
  • Zero libido
  • Emotional out bursts
  • Crying almost daily
  • Anger that creeps into rage
  • Fear to move forward with things
  • Lumps and tender spots on or around my pussy
  • Vaginal dryness
  • Random Yeast infections
  • Sensitive vaginal skin that tears easily
  • Pain during and after any sexual play
  • A feeling of disconnectedness to everything including my children, family, lover and friends. As well as G-d.



This may seem crazy to many who read this. How can all of that happen to a woman just from not having orgasm in her life?

But it does.


Science has been proving for a long time that orgasm is a vital nutrient to the feminine. It helps keep us women stabilized, positive and connected. In my practice I work with many women who have not had an orgasm for years, possibly even a life time. I also work with women who have become addicted to clitoral orgasms but believe or have not had anything deeper than this. Keeping them in a quick fix mode of orgasm which is often the case in female masturbation practices or even in our sexing.


Ancient spiritual based practices, dating back 7,000+ years spoke and taught on how important orgasm, real orgasm not just climax was to the feminine. It goes far past our physical well being and even our psychological well being. Orgasm is the well spring of creation and connection to the divine. To God. When we women do not have true orgasm in our lives and a space to surrender to our lover and our orgasm then we turn off to life. We disconnect from our partner, from our world and from ourselves. We move from the embodiment of self and radiance to living in our heads and just “dealing” with this thing called life. Life becomes about the duty instead of the living.


Unfortunately, we live in a world of under-fucked women. I say under-fucked not to sound crude and that women “should be” fucked, but to make the point that women do need to be held in a space for a long enough time frame with a safe masculine that can stand in her fires, in her tears and in her orgasm. This masculine can not be forced on her. He must earn her. Earn her trust. Her heart and her orgasm. This is not a space that many men are familiar with nor have they been taught about in todays society. However, when the chosen masculine is there holding this space then the woman can release into the greatest depths of surrender with herself and with him, thus creating the feeling that he has fucked her wide open to the universe. It is in this space that the feminine gets filled with love and with orgasm to her core. All other concepts of orgasm are nothing more than illusions and hoaxes.


Clitoral orgasm is a masculine orgasm. It is sharp, quick and what I call fast food. It feels good for the moment but that is all it gives you a moment and you find yourself hungry and feeling empty shortly thereafter. It also trains the body and mind to accept less than what is possible. Once we believe that this is all that orgasm is then many never think to venture further down the path to find true fulfillment.

But this is us settling for something that will never be anything more.


In todays society and way of thinking we claim to desire so much yet few are willing to go out and make their desires a reality. We settle for the lessor car because it is economical, the lessor house because the school district is what we think is better, the lessor relationship because it is better then no relationship and he/she is nice. We settle for the lessor orgasm because we don’t know that there is anything better and we don’t have the time to get it. So, we settle.


I could easily be writing this about masculine orgasm as well, however I am not. Focusing on the feminine because this topic is near and dear to my heart and my pussy. The above share is my truth about a time that I went longer than 90 days without orgasm. I had to learn how to surrender to myself in other ways to escape the lack of orgasm that I had in my sexing. I had to rediscover myself and my passion in other areas to ignite my orgasm again so that I could have it. I had to lean into my pain and fear and face them with love for self and life. I had to go back to the roots of my desires and start there. FRESH.


This is the path that every woman who is without true orgasm must take. The answer to connecting to an orgasmic life is to learn how to surrender to life. To embody yourself and to discover your core desires.


I share this musing with you in hopes that you will do just these three things and give yourself permission to live the orgasmic, turned-on life that you deserve.

3 Keys to Opening Up to Your Orgasm

  • Daily practice pussy communication. This is a foundational practice to reconnect you to your pussy. If you are living in your head then you are not embodying yourself. If you do not get back into your body then you will have limited to no sensation and you are blocking yourself from your divine feminine as well. Meaning that you have muted your intuition. Intuition is an art of blending voice of spirit with feelings and physical sensations of the body. By focusing on communication with your pussy on a daily basis you will tap back into your truth and feel more led by your core. Things will start to work out in your favor more and you will also start hearing your voice of desire again. To do this exercise all you need is a quiet space and your hands. Take your left hand and place it on your heart, your right hand and place it on your pussy. Now just breathe deep into your stomach, pulling the breath down as far as you can to allow your tummy to expand. Hold the breath for a moment and inquire with your pussy, “What message do you have for me?” From here move into a dialogue with your pussy as you focus on your breathing and feel for the sensations that she has to share with you. Ask her questions such as, “How do you feel about this relationship? – This job? – This move?” etc. Then listen to the sensations in your body. Your body’s wisdom is your soul speaking to you about what is best for your highest and greatest good.
  • Vulva Love Practice. Set aside time each day or at very lest 3 times a week to do this goddess practice. Set up a space that is pretty to all your senses. If possible, do this practice outside a few times with the sun shining down on your pussy. Create a sacred space with smells, music and different textures that you enjoy and find relaxing. Allow yourself to relax into this space as you gently massage your vulva with your favorite oil (I suggest unscented coconut oil). Make slow strokes and really allow yourself to feel all the sensations of your fingers running across your pubis mound and vaginal lips. Massage and stroke for feelings of pleasure NOT orgasm or climax.  Notice how good it feels to just feel the soft, conscious touch.  Next stroke with the intent of love and appreciation. With each stroke say out loud or internal words of love and appreciation to your pussy. Speak of her beauty. Her ability to receive pleasure and give pleasure. Her ability to manifest life. Speak of her warmth, her velvety softness. Remember to say thank you to your pussy for all that she has given you and that you value her guidance in your life.
  • Pussify Your Life. In this exercise you only need to ask your pussy for her feelings about something. This is a beautiful practice to focus us women on embodiment to self, something that many of us have lost in our modern world. To start and give you a feel for this practice, take on your under-ware and bra drawers. Take each pair of panties out and one by one hold them up to your pussy. Now ask, “Do you like this pair of panties?” Then feel what sensations come up in your body. Notice your emotions around each garment. If you have anything other than a strong F-ck YES! To the garment then toss it without question into a get rid of pile. Do this with all your panties and then move to your bra’s. If you want to really pussify your world, move to your closet and clean it with the guidance of your pussy instead of your logical brain. The result is that you will find yourself with ONLY garment that make you feel good. You will clear out all the things that you thought you needed for some logical reason or have been holding onto to be smart or out of fear of not replacing it. When you do this, you will now not only be honoring yourself and your emotions, you find that you are more turned on to life and feeling better about what you look like as well.

You are a divine, beautiful woman who deserves orgasm in her life.

For you to have all the orgasm that you want, sexually and generally in life, you MUST own your ORGASM and open to fully receiving the blessings that the universe and your pussy have for you.

This is a decision though.


Do you want a Turned- On Life?

Do you desire a life full of rapture and blessing?

Do you crave a fairytale relationship?

Do you desire gourmet sex?


Then choose YOU!

Choose Orgasm.

Choose to EMBODY YOU.



Virectin Reviews: Will It Really Boost Your Testosterone Levels?

Hypogonadism, a medical condition amongst men where the body is unable to synthesize and distribute an adequate supply of testosterone through their body, is a common concern amongst older men, especially those aged 40 and above. Testosterone is a hormone that is present in men and women, but it plays a much more significant role in the male body. From the proper development of male characteristics during puberty to the ability to produce a masculine physique in adulthood, this hormone is essential for male wellbeing. When levels of testosterone drop too low, a man can develop numerous symptoms that may not only be unpleasant but also potentially dangerous.

While male hypogonadism is often associated with age, it is important to note that there are men with adequate levels of testosterone even at a senior age; thus, it is often considered a medical concern when a man’s testosterone levels drop significantly. Treatment is available, most often in the form of testosterone replacement therapy, but this type of treatment is not suitable for every patient. Acne, sleep apnea, tender and swollen breasts, as well as swollen ankles, are only some of the side-effects men can experience when opting for this treatment, as reported by Harvard Health.

Low Testosterone Effects In Men

Low testosterone can cause both direct and indirect symptoms to develop. Since the hormone is responsible for a man’s sex drive, men usually find that their libido suffers greatly when their testosterone levels drop too low. In turn, this can also cause symptoms of erectile dysfunction, as well as other sexual dysfunctions, such as premature ejaculation.

Men’s Hormonal Health explains that low testosterone causes emotional, physical and mental symptoms to develop. This can include fatigue, lower muscle mass, an increase in body fat, signs of osteoporosis, pain in the back, as well as higher levels of cholesterol. Men are also at a higher risk of experiencing a heart attack when they do not have a sufficiency supply of testosterone in their body.

Virectin And Testosterone

With the side-effects of testosterone therapy taken into account, men often seek out methods they can utilize to increase their testosterone levels without having to undergo these potentially problematic treatments. This brings us to a particular supplement named Virectin. Virectin is a natural solution that has been researched by a team of experts and contains a proprietary formula designed to address common problems that men experience, especially after the age of 40.

Virectin is often deemed as one of the best testosterone booster’s due to the numerous beneficial herbal extracts, plant extracts and nutrients the formula contains. The product does not utilize any harmful chemicals and contains no synthetic testosterone, such as in the case of testosterone replacement therapy; thus, making it a solution that might assist with treating low testosterone without causing the harmful effects that the pharmaceutical treatment options may cause.

The question, however, is whether or not this supplement can increase testosterone levels in men who are suffering from the most common symptoms that are associated with male hypogonadism. That is what we would like to look at, by considering the ingredients, the working process and, of course, customer testimonials.

Customer Testimonies

A large number of Virectin reviews can be found all over the internet. There are a lot of supplement reviewers who have bought the supplement and provided their opinion on the product, as well as regular consumers that have used the product and left a review at the source of their purchase. We see that a majority of these reviews tend to be in a positive light, with quite a lot of reviews stating that the product has helped the user gain better erections, as well as keep those erections hard during sex for a longer period than they were able to before turning to Virectin.

Direction’s website also contains a page that has been dedicated to sharing the success stories of past male users. This page offers various stories and testimonies that were sent to Virectin by men who have purchased and used Virectin before. The product seems to take care of erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, a lack of sex drive and even fatigue experienced during sex.

Virectin Ingredients

  • Looking at the ingredients of Virectin will help us determine if this product might be useful in boosting a man’s testosterone, as well as with enhancing certain traits in their sexual life to help the man perform better while he is having sexual intercourse with his partner.
  • Maca Root ‑ Maca root has been proven to provide men with a large number of benefits ‑ both inside and outside the bedroom. The Maca Team explains that maca root powder is often utilized for increasing male libido, but this ingredient is also an effective erectile function booster. Furthermore, in some cases, the plant root extract can also help to stimulate the production of testosterone when levels of this hormone are too low in the male body.
  • Tribulus Terrestris ‑ This ancient herb has been used for thousands of years to enhance the overall performance of both men and women. It is also used as an aphrodisiac to increase a man’s interest in sex. In some cases, men also turn to Tribulus Terrestris to help them treat certain sexual dysfunctions. Virectin also claims that this ingredient may help the user experience a boost in testosterone levels.
  • L-Arginine HCL ‑ This may just be one of the most beneficial ingredients that have been added to the Virectin formula. While this particular ingredient may not directly influence levels of testosterone, Healthline reports that it has been shown to possess some promising effects amongst men who are suffering from erectile dysfunction. L-Arginine HCL increases the nitric oxide levels in the body; thus causing an improvement in the dilation of blood vessels. This, in turn, leads to a higher concentration of blood entering the penis when a man has an erection.


Final Words

Men over 40 years of age are at a higher risk of developing hypogonadism than younger men, but this condition can develop in anyone ‑ even those who are younger than 40. The development of hypogonadism is not only a health risk but also affects a man’s quality-of-life. With the use of Virectin, men can experience an improvement in their erectile function, a relieve of premature ejaculation, and their testosterone production might even be increased.

Guest Expert & Author Bio

David Gomes by profession is a Health and Wellness expert. He lives in Oakland, California, USA. He loves to write on a variety of topics such as Men’s Health, Weight Loss, Beauty and Skin Care for blogs and on-line publication sites.

Erotic Massage for Lovers: Sexual Touch To Arouse And Gratify Your Partner


The act of touch can heal wounds and draw couples together by showering love onto our lover’s body parts that store repressed emotions and then, set them free. Erotic massage is an act of unconditional service to our beloved. It communicates a message that we understand where our lover is coming from and we accept them as they are, along with their frailties and vulnerabilities. By first relaxing our partners in a safe space, we erotically arouse them to transcend illusions in a relationship.


The Power of Sensual Massage


“As a society, we are touch deprived. We are taught that touch often is dangerous or something to fear, to be ashamed of,” opines Ms. Amy McBain, Sexual Shaman, Creator of Intentional  Orgasm and author of Intentional Orgasm: Changing the world one orgasm at a time. She adds that in truth, healthy  touch in all relationship benefits our whole beings, “Touch provides a way for each partner to surrender and be fully in the moment. It is through touch that everything else comes and is improved”


“Failure to thrive is just as real for adults who don’t receive loving touch as it is for infants,” says Intimacy Coach, Ms. Kendal Williams and Creator of www.tantrictransformation.com. According to Kendal, our souls chose to inhabit a physical body so it is touch that is one of the essential ways we experience things in the physical realm, and how we can show our love for one another and truly embody it.


Deepen Your Pleasure Through Self-Love


“I don’t believe you can have a fully satisfying relationship with another, until you have a fully satisfying relationship with yourself,” says Ms. McBain. She further adds, that you have to do your own self work, dark night of the soul work, so you know who you are, before you can share yourself with another. And that includes, getting really in touch with your own sexual energy, which is source energy. According to Ms. McBain, an orgasm is the vehicle by which your soul came into physical existence- so any disconnect from your own orgasm and inherent divine sacred sexuality will result in a disconnect from others and disconnect from the rest of your life.


Our erotic lives are only a mirror of our other lives,” says Ms. Williams. She feels that having a loving  and accepting relationship with self first means that we are compassionate toward ourselves and do not self punish for our humanness but instead embrace ourselves and love deeper. Ms. Williams adds, “Through self love and acceptance, we gain a peace and confidence and in this peace and confidence, we experience and love others at a more penetrating level.”


Setting The Stage


“In tantric massage, the focus is on interconnecting everything. It is a flow. A dance,” says Ms. Williams. To set up a massage and create a sacred space, the most important detail needed, according to Ms. Williams, is out internal state of being and our intent for what we are giving and receiving.”


“Physically, the room is typically either dimly lit or bright with sunshine, depending on the intent of what you are focusing on,” adds Ms. Williams. “Some sacred spaces may be set up with altars, incense, music, candles and even protective boundaries such as a circle of salt or crystals placed in each corner of the space. Others may be simple and have only a blanket, pillow, candle and nature sounds.”


Ms. McBain also suggests using special music, essential oils, incense, sage, candles and heat to overwhelm the senses. She says, “Clear the space before and after. Set intentions into the space for the receiver.”


Circulate Sexual Energy With Massage Tricks


The basic massage techniques that we can use to give our partners pleasure, are, firm strokes, soft strokes, feather strokes, breath, nail biting, says Ms. Williams. She adds, “Use warm oil or candles, ice, feathers, silk and fur. Be playful and don’t second guess your intuition. Take it slow. You are making love to every inch of your partner through your conscious touch.”


With permission from your partner, Ms. Williams opines, you may want to try prostate massage, G-spot massage, clitoral stimulation, oral pleasure or use a chosen toy.


Ms. McBain does shamanic energy balancing massage-utilizing specific touches that evoke the energies of the earth, water, air and fire to balance those energies within a person and activating energy sources for them.


Expressing Sensuality Through Your Whole Body


Ms. McBain suggests using your full body to balance your lover’s energy fields. She says, “Lay your whole body on them to ground their earth energy, rub your breasts and other body parts, slowly, sensually to activate their water energy, your breath and a very light touch to activate their air energy. I also use my genitals on specific body parts, like, my clitoris to their third eye, to bring in a balance of their divine feminine to create interesting energy currents.


Ms. Williams reminds that in giving a massage, you are giving or gifting the experience to someone else. So, make it about them and not you. She says, “It’s important to pay attention to what feels good to you and listen to your intuition on things. Go slow in whatever stroke you choose and with the part of your body you are using.”


Stimulating Your Beloveds’ Erogenous Zones


Erotic tantric massage covers the whole body, toe to head, says Ms. Williams. She explains, “I say toe to head because we start at the feet and move upward with purpose. Through the feet, we help relax and ground the whole being. We also tap into acupressure points that stimulate internal organs and help them function better. Feet and legs are also big erogenous zones for many people, especially women. Then, move up the body to the hips, buttocks, and lower back, massage firmly, slowly. Teasing the skin with feathers, light touch or breath can be very erotic.”


Knowing your partner’s erogenous zones is helpful, Ms. Williams adds. According to her, erotic tantric massages stimulate the genitals but does not focus in on the genitals. It is truly a dance of interweaving the whole body in an erotic fashion.”





Massage can create excitement in an otherwise stale relationship as well as set a trustworthy foundation  in a newly bonded couple. It helps lovers to cue to each other’s needs and bridge emotional distances. Massage is a responsive platform to keep our promise to our beloved- by including erotic movements that help them feel safe, seen and understood.




Written by: Mishka

I’m a Sex Coach, Not a Sex Worker

As of late, I have been under a bit of scrutiny from several people about my sex coaching business, everywhere from friends to family to other colleagues who all have misconstrued beliefs about what sex coaches do. Honestly, I am not shocked because the truth is that sex coaching is fairly new in mainstream consciousness. If you met ten sex coaches, they would also all have a slightly different way of coaching and different elements that are included in this coaching. Even in my local area, I can think of several sex coaches, and every single one of us approaches coaching in a different manner. Some use more direct talking methods, some incorporate more spiritual practices, some use more straight education, and others are more experiential. This is on top of the fact that sex is still a taboo topic in our society, so it’s no wonder that I get both horrified and intrigued looks when I share with others the career I am so passionate about.

There’s a vast variety of questions and assumptions that people have when hearing that myself and my fellow colleagues are sex coaches. That being said, the one that comes up the most is, “Are you a prostitute? So you have sex with your clients?”

I do not have sex with my clients. Again, I do not have sex with my clients! And one more time since people struggle to hear this one, I DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH MY CLIENTS! I have zero judgments against individuals who choose to make a living via prostitution. In my life, I have known several women who have been sex workers to survive and, unfortunately, were forced to do so illegally due to our current laws. It makes me very happy to see places like Vegas that are trying to take the oldest career known to man and make it safer for both the client and the sex worker. Sex is a normal and natural pleasure afforded to us as humans that keeps us healthy and vibrant. It’s not my place to say if someone needs or desires to pay someone to have these needs met because, honestly, not everyone is lucky enough to have a committed partner. I believe in sex work when done in a safe and consensual manner.

That being said, I am not a prostitute. All the sex coaches I know (and I know quite a few) and I have the policy that they do not have intercourse or perform or receive oral sex from clients. I have written that on my website in several places and tell clients when I first meet them that although I am helping people with sex, this does not mean I am having sex with them. Yet, it is a question I get asked almost weekly. And it is actually one that has provided my colleagues and me with some funny stories.

One day, I was doing an initial Tantric mindfulness session—which includes some meditation, breathing, and Kundalini activation—with a brand new client. My sex coaching practice was somewhat new, and as he felt his sexual energy activate, he opened his eyes, looked right at me, and said, “I’ve decided that I want to practice having Tantric sex, and you love Tantric sex, and so you’re going to have Tantric sex with me next time.” I lifted one eyebrow and reminded him of all the different times we had discussed boundaries and how sex is not a part of sex coaching. He became desperate and began gyrating his hips to “show me” how good he would be at this practice. I worked incredibly hard at not bursting into hysterics at that moment, and once I had composed myself, I set some limits with him, and unfortunately, he chose not to have any more sessions with me after that initial session. It is definitely a story that I will always remember and one that has provided me with vital learning lessons—no matter how much I state what I DON’T do, there will always be people that don’t want to hear it.

Different practitioners have different boundaries surrounding the level of touch, if any, and also the nature of what happens in sessions. But unless it is specifically stated that we are offering sexual surrogacy, then they most likely are not offering to have sex with their clients. And honestly, even many sex surrogates don’t actually have intercourse with clients.

That being said, am I going to try to help stir some sexual energy? Yes! Our sexual energy (Kundalini energy) is what keeps us alive, what you tap into during many yoga practices, and what gives us as humans much of our drive. I view our sexual energy as a major tool in manifesting the lives we want, as the spiritual connection we are looking for, and as a way to take the connection within ourselves and in relationships to a deeper place. However, this energy can be stirred simply by breathing! I, personally, am not just a sex coach but actually first and foremost a Tantric practitioner who utilizes these principles in my practice. This still does not mean I am having sex with my clients!

In our society, and especially in the Bible belt, many practices are shunned without a true and honest understanding. People allow their ignorance to speak first without asking questions. Just like sex coaching is not as it appears, neither is the practice of Tantra, which is not solely about sex but instead about weaving our energy throughout life. The aspects that are sexual are about bringing greater awareness and honor into our sex lives and using this awareness to bring us closer to our spiritual source, ourselves, and our partners. I know having honor and true worship during sex is a foreign concept to many in the Western world, where porn, objectification, and hookup culture are rampant, but this is the true nature of Tantra and what I teach in my sex coaching practice. So I view the use of Tantra as important in not only my sex coaching but also coaching of any kind because, at the end of the day, most humans desire more fulfilling and happier lives.

As a sex coach, I want you to be able to dig deeper into your own feelings, thoughts, and beliefs surrounding sex. I want you to learn to connect with your own body and your partner’s body in new and exciting ways. I want you to experience energy in sessions that is orgasmic … but not necessarily have what is typically seen as orgasm/climax in session.

So if I’m not having sex with you, then what am I doing?

I’m holding a space for you to talk about your shame, your desires, your sexual difficulties. I’m helping you reawaken your energy and passion while creating the life you have always dreamed of having. I am educating you on chakras, your genitals, your partner’s genitals, breathing, orgasm, and basically anything you can think of in regards to sex. I am helping you feel more into your body and recognize that your sexual energy, when used throughout your life, will provide you with a new level of energy and vitality and the ability to attack your life.

Honestly, yes, there will be dildos, “pussy pillows,” lube, and other sex toys for demonstrations, so if this offends you, then I suggest you not come into my office. There will most definitely be words used that may make you blush and conversations that make you squirm a little, and that’s okay. I’m not here to have sex with you, but I am here to reintroduce you to your sex.

My work is done mostly with your brain, your heart, and your soul, not your genitals!

Written by Addison Bell

Looking for Mr. Forever – The pressure we SHOULD NOT feel.

I know you want someone to hold you close and handle your heart gently, but put love on hold. You don’t need someone to fall asleep beside. Not yet. You can wait for that.

Finding your forever person shouldn’t be your main priority. Finding yourself should come first.

Find out what brings your passionate side to the surface. Find out what stirs the adrenaline that’s been hibernating in your veins. Find out what convinces you to stay up until 3 AM and wake up at 5 AM. Find out what puts the suicidal thoughts to rest and gives you a burst of appreciation for the living.

Find out why the girl in the mirror looks so sad when she’s alone. What does she want? What is she missing? If it’s a who, what type of person would fill the gap where her smile is supposed to be? Is it a best friend that can make her laugh when she only has the impulse to scream? Is it a semi-stranger to drink with to erase the pain? Is it a mystery voice that tells her they believe in her, that they’re proud of her?

Find out what squeezes your heart until it skips a beat. Find out what sends flutters through your spine. Find out what awakens the butterflies in your stomach. Find out what makes the cliches come to life.

Find out who you are and what you want out of this chaotic world, because you’ve only scratched the surface of your cravings. You want a house in the Hamptons, but what will make that house a home? Degrees to hang on the wall, a baby girl, a puppy flopping through the yard? You want a job in journalism, but what are you hoping to gain from it? Aside from money. Aside from security. What is it you’re hoping life blesses you with?

Find out what you want this universe to deliver to you. And don’t be afraid to sound greedy or selfish or unrealistic. Don’t restrain yourself from having oversized fantasies, because you’ll find important pieces of yourself hidden amongst those dreams. You’ll find out what drives you. What type of human you truly are.

Find out what inspires you, motivates you. Find out what gives you the energy to push through on your worst days. Find out what you’re doing here on this earth, because no matter how worthless you feel, you have a purpose. You have a reason you exist — and it’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.

You have a lifetime to find your forever person, so find yourself first. You deserve to meet her.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE– You Have A Lifetime To Find Your Person, So Find Yourself First by Holly Riordan

A Need for Connection

neednudeFor anyone that I work with face to face, you know that I have a white board in my office where I update according to what spirit guides to share and leave special quotes and thoughts, questions on this board for all my beautiful peep’s to explore internally. Recently one of my statements was, ” We connect through our drama.” This statement caught some attention and caused a few people to question if this was accurate or if they felt other wise. In my coaching I do many coaching calls with people all over the place and one of my dear clients I was speaking with brought out a comment from me that I felt pertinent to share here as well as further thought on it.
The comment from me was: “Through looking for approval we also gain connection.”
This comment seems to being hanging out in my practice right now. It keeps coming up with so many people. The questions/thought that follow it are:
  • Is asking for approval needy?
  • If this is so then this is why I don’t do it as much when I am feeling confident and centered in myself.
  • But when I have confidence and don’t need approval or opinions from others then is this disconnect?
  • So what is the best chosen path: disconnection or looking for connection through approval? How do they each benefit me?
Yes looking for approval and opinion is connection based. Is this needy?
It can be, but not always. We as human beings need connection for basic survival and health. Our psyche’s health depends on connection. For the same reason we create drama in our lives – which is another connection based activity- we also look for approval, insight, opinion. We as well down play our greatness or blessings and we build up our trauma or pain. These are tools of connection.
What you have to truly look at is what sort of connection are you desiring?
There are many levels of connection.
For the most part many people say they want a deep connection and to be authentically seen but if given the opportunity to have this they become scared and sabotage it through ego based relating. The majority of relationships, may they be friendships, work or intimate, even marriages and with children are surface connections. To authentically relate and allow yourself to be seen and felt as well as remain open to seeing and feeling another at this level is an incredibly hard space to stand in. Yet is a desire for most.
Permission is only needed from ourselves for ourselves.
Confidence is something that only serves us if we are acting from our heart space, our soul. If we are in ego then confidence will disconnect us and actually come across as cockiness. A confident person is not a disconnected person. A confident person is someone willing to open themselves up and be seen, be felt, be human. They are comfortable asking for what they need, desire and they are also comfortable with hearing another’s authentic answer even if it means that the other is not good with giving what has been asked. Confidence is courage. Courage to see ones ego. Courage to make mistakes and ask questions. Courage to face the reality that our old programs will always pop up to haunt us and the only thing we can do is get better at seeing them and then acting differently. Courage to love ourselves just as we are and forgive ourselves for our past’s. Courage to embrace those that frustrate, hurt, anger or sadden us and realize that some where in our past we too have been guilty of doing the same in a similar energy, therefore there is no need to try and change where another is but just accept that their path is what it is as ours is as well.
The only way we disconnect is to shut ourselves down from the beauty of opening up.
When we choose openness and love we choose connection. First with ourselves (as the relationship we have with self is the set-point for all other relationships) and then with those in our lives.
So what is the best path? The best path is the one you are on. The best path is to learn to love and fully accept yourself in all your humanness. This is the ONLY path and you are never off of it, it is always with you and you will be traveling it even when you feel you are lost.
Feeling like you could use direction, guidance, support or opening to your authentic self?
So here is where more than my Naked Musings come into play! How can I help you be the best you that YOU desire and crave Living that Fuck Yes Life that you know at your core is waiting for you but scares the hell out of you? Reach out to me to explore one of my Orgasm Coaching Programs for men, women and couples or email me (tantrictransformation@gmail.com) about getting on the waiting list for the VIP Fuck Yes to Life Coaching that is coming this Fall 2016!

Review of Alan Roger Currie’s interview with Tantric Sex Expert & Sex Educator Kendal Williams


JoJoBelle_cover_photo-1024x410Episode #9 of The Erotic Conversationalist (BlogTalkRadio)

Length: 1 hour, 23 minutes

My second review is about Mr. Currie’s interview with a tantric sex expert and sexual educator named Kendal Williams.

If you already read my review of Mr. Currie’s interview with Brandi L. Davis, a lot of my same criticisms and sentiments can easily be transferred to this interview as well.  I am still not sure if the love affair with coarse, crude, rough, pornographic sex talk is a Mr. Currie preference only, or is it more broadly an American preference.  To each their own, in fairness to the host and guest.

If you eliminate all of the moments during the interview where Mr. Currie and Ms. Williams participated in phone sex, this episode is worth a listen.  Ms. Williams is a sex educator who presents her thoughts and arguments very well, and I was impressed by many of her feminist attitudes about women taking ownership over their bodies, their vaginas, and their eroticism and sensuality in general.

I didn’t really care for her concept of the ‘under-fucked pussy,’ not only because of the dreaded p-word, but because I do not believe that a woman’s vagina always needs to be penetrated or pounded by a man’s penis for a woman to experience the highest level of pleasure and sexual satisfaction.  That concept of Ms. Williams’ aside, I agreed with many of her points about society’s attempt to dictate how a woman should behave sexually.

I believe tantric sex provides many benefits to men, women, and couples, and I believe more gals and guys should look into it.  Ms. Williams’ talked in detail about tantric healing, tantric massage, and tantric yoga in addition to tantric sex.  If you are tantra ‘curious,’ this is the episode of Mr. Currie’s that you should listen to.

Since I have been sort of beating up on Mr. Currie’s verbal style a bit, I will give him at least one compliment.  He has one saying that is expressed fairly seductively, and it involves no coarse, crude, misogynistic, or profane language.   The saying comes forth usually when Mr. Currie is playing the role of the good, attentive listener, and his guest says something very flattering to him or very erotic.  Once the guest expresses a compliment to Mr. Currie or a kinky thought, Mr. Currie will simply say in a very calm, relaxed voice, “Ooooooooooh.  Say that again.”  Sometimes, in a very amusing way, Mr. Currie will say this same phrase over and over and over repeatedly.

What I also do like about listening to Mr Currie is his openness and lack of modesty which enables both himself and the interviewee to talk candidly about the subject matter at hand. His demeanour throughout the interview seems to allow the conversation to flow naturally for both parties to explore the topic and provide their views.

I still don’t think I could ever agree that Mr. Currie’s style of verbal eroticism will ever earn him the legitimate title as the ‘King,’ but after listening to him interview Brandi L. Davis and Kendal Williams, I can see why a number of American women would fancy him.  Mr. Currie is an acquired taste, but I believe if a woman allows Mr. Currie to grow on them, he will soon be selected for the position as that woman’s own personal Dylan Daniels, Christian Grey, or E. Edward Grey.

I recommend this episode to Mr. Currie’s listeners not so much for the phone sex parts, but for the sexual feminism expressed by Ms. Williams and her wealth of knowledge and expertise in the area of the tantra lifestyle.

Rating:  4 out of 5 stars

Transformation Indeed! – Testimony from an Orgasm Coaching for Women Client


6 months have passed…

Every part of my mind, body and soul are being awakened and guided to new places that I thought were reserved for only a few fortunate ones.

Kendal Williams wrapped her love and knowing around me one cold dark winter evening as I sat in a coffee shop across from her and poured out my tired and broken story. Through tears, I saw her gentle, knowing smile and heard TRUTH for the first time in my life.

Kendal has a style of coaching that is honest and direct, with constant support, through the lovely as well as the ugly. She listens, explains, shares, guides and directs with uncanny intuition and a wealth of resources.

The very next day, as promised, I received an email with a list of all we discussing, complete with easy-to-follow links for every article, person, website, and resource! My journey now includes work with her partner, Scott/Authentic Living as well as her daughter with Photography in Wonderland.

6 months have passed….and I am a new goddess
~who enjoys feeling and seeing my own body
~who asks for what I want
~who holds sensation without disconnection
~who can breathe energy into any part of my being
~who is learning to love without boundaries
~who loves self first
~who is expanding sexuality
~ who is committed to this work of transforming

I have open mind, body & soul for the next steps in my life journey with Kendal & Company as my guide.

— Laura N. Dallas, Texas (Orgasm Coaching for Women Client 2015)

7 Tips to Extra Steamy Blindfold Sex


There I stood before the door. It was closed and I had no idea what possibly could be awaiting me on the other side. My lover looking me in the eye while he asked, “Are you ready?” Yes I nodded as my stomach clenched a tad. Even with all my trust and love in this man I still found my heart beat pattering a bit faster then normal and my palms sweating.

He opened the door and all I could see was a beautiful space that he had prepared. Our Sacred Space Mat was on the floor, candles lit, flowers adorned the room. There was a small box that sat to the side that had something in it but I could not tell what it was from where I was standing. Leaning down he picked up a glass of wine that he had poured and offered it o me. As I sipped it he reached into the box and pulled out a blindfold. Turning to me, he asked permission to put it on me.

Yes, of course I answered.

Softly he placed it around my head and made sure that my eyes could see no light. Taking the wine from my hand he gently kissed me and asked me to put my hands behind my back.

I could hear the cling of the chains as he pulled them from the box. My heart pounded a bit faster now and my pussy throbbed in anticipation of what this adventure play would result in.
These were not just any chains, these were specially crafted hand cuffs with soft plush fur to wrap around the wrists attached to chains that could be connected to a bed post or each other as restraints.

Making sure that my hands were properly secured behind me, he placed a strawberry in my mouth and kissed my lips while teasing my breasts with his fingers. Taking his kisses softly and slowly down my neck, over my shoulder and onto my back he now encouraged me to go down on my knees before him. I hoped that my mouth would soon be greeted with his divine manhood so that I could suckle at him for a bit but without any warning his gentle touch twisted into a firmly controlled handle on my flesh as he bent me over onto a pillow, moved my legs apart and pulled on the chains as he attached them to some stationary item.

Feeling completely vulnerable in this position I found myself having moments of thought that made me question what I was doing, how strong my trust was and if this was even pleasurable. But all my questioning quickly ended as my focus was drawn to my clit and vulva where his fingers danced. Stroking me softly then more firmly I quickly found my body yearning to be fucked. My pussy throbbing, getting wetter, its muscles quaking at the hope, the desire of his entry. As if he knew what I wanted without words spoken he pressed his other hands fingers into my pussy while never missing a stroke of my clit. Unlike many times before in his finger fucking of me, he did not start with 1 or 2 fingers, here he just plunged all four into my wetness. His thrusts were dominant and strong and I could sense that he wanted to give me more of his hand and his fingers searched withing my cavern until they found the prize of my G-spot. Now he massaged on it, while stimulating my sponge and my clit all in harmony. My wetness grew intense until he could no long withstand taking me more fully. Before a second had passed, his hard cock was now in my pussy, his one hand pulling on my tied arms and the other in my hair pulling my head back with each thrust. My body quaked and quivered as he mounted me with more speed and greater depth. I felt as though I was a great gully once void of sensation and now in this intoxication through sexing I was nothing but sensation. Sensation that hungered for more….

More depth.
More speed.
More pulling.
More quaking.
More lovers entering me in this moment.
More taste.
More smell.
More pleasure.
More pain.
More Orgasm.

Here at the cusp of orgasm I rode sensation. Discovering bliss in the teasing of my throbbing pussy as it wrapped tighter around his cock.

But as all good things seem to go, just as I was feeling like I was going to toddle over and fully be enveloped into a sea of orgasm, my lover pulled away from me. I must have moaned in distaste because he came up to my ear, breathing hard and asked, “Do you want more?”


He tapped my pussy with his hand as if to spank it. Chills ran across my flesh.
His fingers once more danced on my clit and massaged my vulva. Now his lips and tongue took the place of his cock. So soft, delicate and arousing his sucking was. I found myself wanting to press into his face as if to be swallowed up or to have my pussy swallow him. Alas, this was just a game to entry for what was to come.

Four fingers thrust back and forth then a thumb making its way. Before long his whole fist had entered me. Such fullness, such rapture awaited. I could feel him behind me still on his knees as he pulled me back and forth with the chains. There I rock, thrusting softly, gently and firmly on his fist until my whole body shook and melted into sweet orgasm.


What made this sex play more powerful then any other time? A multitude of things. All items focused on my surrender to my lover and to myself. Granted many couple’s do not want to jump into the deep end and explore fist fucking or bondage in an extreme, but many are willing to play with a blindfold.

This is a perfect place to start and a wonderful item to keep handy in your sexing. A blindfold can increase sexual tension and magnify arousal; because when one of your senses is lost all of the other senses become heightened to compensate. Blindfolds are also a great way of showing trust and vulnerability with a partner. Anytime we agree to be blindfolded we are agreeing to give our safety, our bodies, our surrender over to our partner. And this is not a position to be taken lightly. The one handed this gift is handed great responsibility and must know that here in your hands is the heart of someone’s sexuality, empowerment, soul and trust not only in you but in life. So NEVER abuse this gift! And ALWAYS listen to your partners wants, safe words and body language.

Blindfold Play a Simple Way to Take Average Sexing to Gourmet

Food Play – Blindfold and feed each other yummy morsels such as strawberries, wine, chocolate, honey, etc.

Sensation Play – Undress your blindfolded partner and then begin to caress his/her hands, ears, breasts, legs, back, face, etc. Experiment with different touches. Try using your finger nails, gentle slaps, use feathers, a satin sheet. Be creative in your play and see what you have around the house that could really bring more sensation into your play.

Lip Play– Trace your lovers lips with your fingers while they are blindfolded. Then kiss them. Use your tongue to trace patterns around their breasts, vagina, penis. Tease their lower back with kisses and licks. Tickle his testicles while you gently scratch with your nails in a downward motion from his butt to his feet.

Temperature Play – Try sipping on warm tea or water and then suckling at your blindfolded partners nipples or genitals. Use ice to trace designs on their back, stomach or perform oral sex on them while you change temperature using warm tea and ice in your mouth.

Get Knotty in Your Play– Tie your blindfolded partner up (with their permission). Use ropes, chains, scarfs, etc.

Ask for Your Desire Play – Ask your blindfolded partner a question. Such as where do you want me to kiss you? Or what do you want me to do once I have you tied up? Or ask them to share a desire/fantasy.

Reward and Punishment Play – Tell your blindfolded partner to kiss, lick, nibble, suck on your pussy/cock, lips, nipples etc. or tell them to masturbate for you or to open up their legs, mouth etc for you. If they are good and do what they are asked then they get a reward (a kiss, a suck or lick of what they want, touched a certain way, or a sip of wine, etc.) if they are bad and won’t do what was asked then they a spanking (with your hand, a paddle, flogger, feathers, whip, etc).

And above all else remember that experimentation with blindfolds can be spontaneous. Make use of whatever you have around the house or with you to adequately cover your partners eyes.

Now go get blinded by gourmet sex!!!!