WAITING the F-ck Around!

Don’t you think it is time?
Are you tired like I am?
 
You know what I get tired of?
 
WAITING the F-ck Around!
 
I am tired of waiting for my packages to get delivered.
I mean it is all on it’s way to me.
And to you.
And here we sit,
almost spinning on our thumbs some days.
WAITING the F-ck Around!
 
How much longer till I get what I want?
How much longer till the life that I want manifests itself?
Till the money is in the bank?
Till my true love, my soulmate knocks on my door?
 
How much longer till I fill satisfied,
happy and full.
 
I tell you sometimes I just get exhausted working my a*s off,
day after day,
list after list,
and speaking up,
speaking out,
sharing from the deepest parts of my soul,
and still it seems that things are just not moving at the speed that I desire.
 
It is like the hose is kinked somewhere.
You know what I mean?
 
It is crazy.
And maybe you get what I am saying and maybe you don’t.
 
I am speaking to those out there who seem to be kickin’ it like the bad a*s that you are,
the one’s who are putting in the time and the energy,
the one’s who are doing the mindset work,
the one’s who are not afraid of their shadow lands,
the one’s who get the power that resides inside of them,
the one’s who know how to call things in,
and are focused mother f-ckers like no other’s.
 
YES YOU.
 
I am speaking to you.
And you know what I am saying,
I am saying that it is high f-cking time that things HAPPEN.
No more WAITING the F-ck Around.
No more making excuses.
No more looking the other way,
no more saying, ” I just need to focus more.”
” I just need to work harder.”
“I just need to love myself more.”
” I just need to be more authentic.”
“Show up more.”
 
 
NO WAY.
JUST STOP THE INSANITY.
 
Doing more is not going to get you there.
I know that may seem opposite of what you have been told.
I know that you may be able to reason out that doing more,
working harder, smarter, and showing up more is where it is at.
 
But, NO.
You need not do this.
 
And here is why.
 
Because the more you do this.
The more you send energy into what is NOT HAPPENING FOR YOU.
 
And the more you end up turning all that you love,
turning your art,
your souls work and passion,
your hearts desires,
INTO WORK.
 
And now it is just a duty.
An end to a means.
It is no longer enjoyable.
It is no longer fun.
It no longer makes you happy.
You are not SMILING.
 
And this has you WAITING the F-ck Around!
For everything.
 
Now I am not saying break out the tub of ice cream,
and crash on the couch vegging out on your favorite NetFlix series.
 
No, this would be average and ordinary setting in.
And after a short bit of that,
sure you may feel more relaxed for a second,
but that monkey mind of yours will be working overtime on all those things that you “should” be doing.
And that will only land you back into the mental craziness.
( I mean if you are anything like me 🤪🤓)
 
And if that is not what happens,
then it means that you let laziness grab you by your dreamers balls and start to eat away at everything that you want,
almost believing that you don’t have to get up and get moving,
that the hustle is over rated and not needed.
And that is bullsh*t too.
Just another sidestep from your ego,
preventing you from doing anything else,
then what is needed.
 
And you know what is needed?
 
What is needed is for you to COMMIT.
Once and for all.
 
Just STOP THE INSANITY and of being available for this WAITING the F-ck Around!
 
You don’t have to do more.
You don’t need to sit on your thumbs and wait and pray.
But what you DO NEED to do,
is SETTLE into WHO THE F-ck YOU ARE!
 
And just Enjoy Your Day.
Enjoy your Art.
Enjoy BEING YOU.
 
Stop the insanity,
means stop hating on yourself.
Stop stressing your lush a*s out about everything.
Stop STOPPING your flow.
 
Stop making it all about WORK.WORK.WORK.
And what has NOT YET MANIFESTED.
 
You are acting like that four year old on a road trip screaming not 15 minutes into the journey,
“Are we there yet?”
 
And how beneficial is this?
Seriously.
I get it.
Really I do.
I do it as well.
All too much.
 
And the truth is the truth.
It is HIGH time that we STOP WAITING the F-ck Around!
And just simply embrace who we are.
 
Born leaders.
Born lovers.
Born creators.
 
Yes you Beautiful.
You are this.
And it is all yours.
And there is no waiting.
There is ONLY LIVING RIGHT NOW.
 
So Stop making yourself available for all this low VIBE sh*t,
and just CALL in your DESIRE.
You have the power.
 
It is called your CHOICE.
Your choice to focus on that which is AWESOME RIGHT NOW,
or to keep your eye on ALL that you don’t have.
Thus creating more….
 
WAITING the F-ck Around!
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
 
Don’t wait another one, two, five, ten years to start THRIVING.
Make 2019 the year of you claiming YOU.

Stop The Hide and Seek With Your Dreams

We create our own misery. 
We manifest our nightmares.
We are truly our own worst enemy.

Look back at the things that have come into your life. 
Really look at the sh*t that has happened. 
Can you see how you called it into existence?

If you are average and ordinary then you will answer this with a big fat NO!

If you are part of the 1% of the population that is awakened, conscious and willing to be responsible for their lives, then you will say YES.

Either way you answer, the truth is still the same. 
We create our own misery.

So why am I speaking about this today?
You see over the last few days of this New Year, 
I have come into contact with a massive awareness circling around me about this.

It stems from our lack of worth. 
It stems from our hidden expectations. 
It stems from our fears.

And let me tell you, 
these three things can sabotage your whole life and all that you desire and that God wants to bestow on you.

Don’t you get it love?
Don’t you see how you are creating all of this sh*t because you are insisting on keeping your focus on what you do not have.

You are sitting there, actively looking for the evidence of something to appear, 
and in doing this what you are ACTUALLY doing is focusing on the VOID of not having it yet.

So no duh, that it is not manifesting for you.
How can it after all when all you do is look at how it is not there.

I know, 
I know, 
you want to argue this. 
I sure as f-ck try arguing it as well, 
all the time.

But love,
the facts are just that FACTS.
And what you are doing is NOT looking at the positive, 
no you are looking at the not having because you are looking at where you want it to manifest, 
how you want it to manifest, 
in the time that you want it to manifest, 
and you are looking dead center into the void of it NOT manifesting yet.

You are waiting for it to happen. 
Right?

You sent out your intentions.
You have been doing the internal work. 
You have journaled, meditated, prayed, talking it up, stayed positive, witnessed your ego yelping at you and backed away from anyone who tried to steal your thunder.

But what you have NOT yet done it just CLAIM IT.

Yes JUST CLAIM IT BABY.

You f-cking deserve to have it, 
and it is already manifested. 
The problem is that you have decided to step into some hide and seek manifesting game with it.

You have decided to WAIT for it to come instead of just living as though it already is.

So this AMAZINGNESS that is there for you has no effing choice but to wait for you to come find it.

It cannot come to you, 
it can not manifest yet, 
because you are not ready.

You are not even getting ready to be ready for it. 
And that sucks.

Because everything you want is having to wait to be received.

And all you have to do love is STOP looking for it.

Stop examining how it is not yet there, 
how it will happen when you do this or this or that, 
stop looking down the mother f-cking road.

And JUST ACCEPT that it already is, 
and guess what?

It IS.

This means that you have to STOP talking about it as though you are waiting for it as well, 
you have to stop yourself from feeling as though you do not have it yet, 
and instead focus on feeling effing amazing RIGHT NOW.

All this good sh*t will manifest AS SOON AS YOU TAKE YOUR EYE and CONSCIOUSNESS OFF OF IT.

Just like a pot being watched.
And you know what the saying is there right?

” A watched pot never boils.”

Well it will boil, 
but it will be SOMEDAY, 
and it don’t have to be that way baby.

It can boil right now.

You gotta just let it.

As Always, 
Stop Existing & Start Living

WATCH Today’s Conscious Coffee – Men, Wine and Christ to hear all about my even deeper take on playing Hide and Seek with Your Dreams.

ONLY a few days left till Boss Life- 500 Closes. 
I have two spot’s still open for this f-cking amazing opportunity to work 1: 1 with me and get your 2019 kick started into greatness.

But maybe you don’t care. 
And that is okay too.

I am just telling you that this is an AMAZING AS F-CK opportunity to get the private signature coaching that you might want and most certainly will need if you want to level up your life for 2019.

So yes, 
I am telling you to stop what you are doing right now, 
go to this link right HERE

and register before it is too late. 
Stop giving excuses. 
Stop saying you can’t do it for whatever reason. 
Just stop with all the crazy nonsense that your fear has you blabbing and SAY F-CK YES! to yourself baby.

CLAIM YOUR LIFE in 2019!
Claim your life right now.

Register and learn more NOW

Is Your Dream Killing You?

Are you a dreamer?
I sure am.

You have dreams.
You have BIG dreams.
I know you do.
Everyone does.

But the thing about dreams is that they are just that,
DREAMS.
When we speak of our dreams,
we have the feeling of something that may never happen,
they are set off into the distance of time and space,
they are something that we might “wish” for,
but in our core feel they are unattainable.

That is why they are dreams after all.
Just like the dreams that we have in our sleep,
our waking dreams are fleeting in the moments of life,
they come in and they squeeze us,
make us want for something more,
may even cause us suffering and pain for not having them.

Dreams blossom in our minds and heart
and they beg for us to pay attention,
but life feeds us evidence quiet often,
showing us just how hard it is to achieve these dreams,
or how goofy we are to believe that we can ever get them to manifest.

And so we are dreamers.
And even in writing this statement,
and perhaps for you to read it,
there is a negative charge around the word,
there is hesitation,
pain and discomfort,
there is a sensation of tightness in the reality,
that dreamers just dream.

It is through hard work,
being practical,
and settling into what life is really about that you succeed.
That you SURVIVE.

Dreamers are fun and all.
Dreaming is beautiful, creative and gives us hope.
But it is not logical.

Or so we are brainwashed into believing.
We are daily hounded into the practiced thinking of this.
We are reminded,
by what we have been practicing by the evidence of our lives and how things unfold and manifest.
So we put more into the thinking and feeling of what is before us,
without the trust that we can change our tomorrow by changing our mindset.

But the truth is,
that dreams do come true.
And they are gifted to you to become reality through your abilities, your focus, your energy.
That is why you have the dreams that you have.
You and ONLY you are meant to manifest them.
However, you will never achieve those manifestations without clarity, joy and trust.
You must LET GO of all those things that cause resistance to the creation of your dreams.
You must embrace the fact that your true work is from within.
It is in focusing on the thoughts and feelings that stir in you.
It is the realization that yes perhaps your BIG dreams are too big for you,
but NOT because they are actually too big,
but because of the practiced thoughts that you have around achieving them.

Do you believe that you must work hard for your dreams?
Do you believe that you must suffer in some way?
Pay a price to have your dream?
That you must earn it and become worthy of it?
Do you believe that you are being too selfish or greedy in wanting it?
Do you believe that dreamers only dream?

For decades I too have fought with these paralyzing beliefs. I grew up poor, my family struggled to make ends meet and my parents told me consistently that I could not have. My teachers and friends, society all supported these statements and educated me into believing that hard work, suffering and compromise was what had to happen and even with those things that at best I would live pay check to pay check.

Don’t think you can only work 8 hour a week Kendal.
Don’t think you can do something you love and get paid well for it.
Don’t think you can have a multi-six business with no college education.
Don’t think that you can travel the world.
Don’t think that you have a strong support system.
Don’t think that you can ever be loved.
Don’t…
Don’t…
Don’t….

STOP your dreaming, it will get you know where.
Those DREAMS are unrealistic, let’s bring it back a notch.

Yes here is what I was told.
Here are some of the thoughts that still pop up in my psyche today,
that have hindered me through the years.

Sound familiar?

Well REALITY CHECK….

The ONLY f-cking reason any dream is ever too BIG,
is because you believe it is too big for you and you look daily for evidence to support this stinking thinking.

That is it.
God gifted you with those dreams,
and God does not make mistakes.

You have those desires,
those dreams,
for a reason.

You and ONLY YOU,
are meant to manifest them.

You say you want to be worthy of them,
then act on them.
And you will be worthy.
Stop talking about it.

The BIGGEST action you need to take for your dreams manifestation is to come to terms with the fact that YOU ARE IN CONTROL of what you think about.

You can change your thoughts and your feelings,
thus your vibe,
and manifest anything you desire.

It all starts with what you are focusing on.

Stop being so serious about everything.
Dreaming is fun.
Dreaming is playful.
Dreaming is creative.

So why are you making it all out to be such a BIG chore?
Oh, because you have to suffer,
you have to turn it into work.

Well F-ck that sh*t!!!!

Dreams come into reality when you let go of all the drama and chaos.
When you embrace the JOY.
Do you really think that you are going to find the motivation to deliberately create your dream life when you are dreading taking action to do it?

Do you really believe that the answer to creating that freedom based life is to cause yourself more suffering and agony?

Do you really think that you are going to call into your world all the joy, love and abundance by fixating on worry and fear of not having enough?

I can tell you one thing for certain,
If you are not living your F-ck YES! Life right now in any way,
then you,
and only you,
can change it.

The answer is simple,
when you are in alignment to your soul,
you will feel good and the results will unfold like magic before you.

If you are not having these two things happen,
then you are NOT in alignment with soul.

You are denying who you really are.
And you are stepping away from your power.

Most likely because you were told you had too,
and it was the way to success,
somewhere along the journey,
you bought this lie.

And NOW you wake everyday,
looking for supportive evidence to make it a reality.

Consciously or not.
You are doing it.
And you can change it.

TODAY.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

Here Comes the KNOWING

Have you ever had one of the moments where you feel like you just KNOW what is going to happen before it does?

One of those moments where you could swear you were psychic even?

Where for whatever reason, God blessed you with a KNOWING?

I get these often in life.
Always have.
The more alignment I get with my soul,
the more they happen too.
I should be grateful for them,
and often I am.

However the pain that comes from some of them is never much fun.

In some crazy way, it does allow for me to prepare for storms.
The thing that many of my “psychic” moments predict is a loss of integrity in relationships.

It is as though those that are the closest to me, also believe that they will not be seen for their truth. And perhaps they would not if there were not these messages being received.

I am amazed in moment’s like this, of how accurate and quick formulating some things are.

It never fails, I always think I am having some crazy ass thought, that makes no sense. I question myself as to where the heck such an image or thought would come from, and then BAM just hours or a few days later these events come to pass. And i am given confirmation.

This KNOWING.
It is soul alignment.
It is a message from soul, alerting us to become more of a witness.
To pay closer attention to what is happening in our midst, and to TRUST.
Trust out intuition.
Trust our gut reactions.
And lean in.

These messages are here to help us prepare.
Help guide us.
So that we are not always operating from a place reaction,
but can become more proactive and on purpose in our dealings.

Now, I get these messages, these soul observations on “good” and “bad”events.

They come through in feelings,
They come through in visions,
They come through in dreams,
They come through in written words,
or even what you could say are signs.

I believe that God is always speaking to us.
His guidance is always with us.

We close ourselves to these messages because they make zero to no sense to our logical mind,
We cannot understand how they are possible so we disregard them,
then act in shock when things come to pass.

These KNOWING moments.
They are a blessings.
Even when they hurt.

It is said that all the great visionaries, leaders and game changers of time learned to trust these events.

SO why don’t we?

Why do we hide from our inner knowing?
Allowing our ego’s to mask what our soul knows.

Here is yet, one more thing.
One more opening,
for evolution.
For personal growth.
For FAITH.

God has our back and speaks to us daily.
The only question to ever ask is,
“Am I open to hear what God has to share?”

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

What is Your Desire?

desirebanner

“I want for nothing. I desire everything.” – Kendal Williams

The other day I was listening to Alexander Brighton speaking during a coaching circle and he was sharing the concept of living in a state of gratitude while remaining hungry for life. This is exactly the high ground of manifestation that we need to come from but we are taught in this life that you must always want more and never be content with where you are. Now I can feel a bunch of people saying, “No, your wrong Kendal, we are not taught this. I was not taught this. I do not teach my children this.” But we are and we do. If it were not the case and we were all living from a state of gratitude and still full of desire then we would not see the rapid onslaught of people self medicating, taking multiple anti-depressants, hiding in video games or TV show’s or walking through their days looking like zombies. Instead we would all be welcoming the start of a new day, we would hungrily charge forth into our activities and rejoice for all the blessing that we have and all those that are still coming to us. We would REALIZE our true divinity and power and accept with a smile the fact that we are creating our reality each moment. We would be teaching our children these universal truths instead of telling them to just get a degree for a white collar job (that may not even be around when they graduate) so that they can pay the bills and survive.

How many times this last month did you feel like you were JUST surviving?

Being a survivor says that you are yes getting by, but not living to your full life capacity. Your not being challenged by life. Your not even really wanting the challenge and your shut down to your bliss. Survival in any form is about suppressing your true authentic divine self. It is about wearing the armor that you feel you need to protect yourself from life’s pains instead of allowing for the full flow of life to carry you into greatness. Surviving is the opposite of living.

If we actually believed that living from a grateful heart was one of the main key points to having and creating a life that we wanted then wouldn’t you think we would do just that. Be grateful. We do “tell” our children to be grateful for the food on the table, the roof over their head, clothes on their backs, etc. But are we modeling this gratitude?

As we “tell” our children to be grateful we also say to them, “be happy with what you have and STOP wanting,” yet we constantly exhibit in our own actions the reverse. We are not completely wrong in this attitude. If we could just get down the gratitude and change the unhappy wanting (unhappy wanting is wanting with the belief that we cannot have, or should not have/want, believing that we are not good enough to be/do/have, belief that things have always been one way and therefore cannot be another, etc.) to desire.

Desire is not about “hoping” that something will happen, it is not even dreaming about something, it is about going deeper to a soul level where we connect to the Source (god, the light, the creator, etc.) and feeling at our core what our life is to be like. What our soul KNOW’S we can achieve and should have. Desire is about living fully and every desire that we have is there to awaken us to what our potential is in this life. When we focus on these soul desires we start to attract to us the people and situations needed to help them materialize. The more we release our old programming (beliefs, thoughts and feelings) toward these desires the quicker we pull them into our life.

Allowing ourselves to experience more bliss in our day to day life instead of focusing on what we do not have and living in a state of scarcity helps put us into the vortex of abundance. There are many ways to get into this state of being:

  • Treat yourself to small luxuries each week
  • Stop announcing that you are broke. Instead say nothing.
  • When you find a penny or a dollar, say aloud, ” I am a money magnet.”
  • Smile often.
  • Except the kindness of a stranger, friend, lover or other.
  • Do not jump out of bed in the morning, instead breathe and paint a picture in your head of how you want your day to go.
  • Eliminate these words from your vocabulary: hope, I wish, fine, broke, I don’t have…, I can’t, luck, and if.
  • Flirt often and LOT’s.
  • Do one thing each week that scares you in a good way.
  • Have more orgasms. (to obtain optimal joy the suggested amount of orgasms to have in a week is at least 3, one a day is best.)
  • Tell yourself that you love yourself.

And BE in GRATITUDE for and with each breath.

–KW

Are you getting too old?

rosegrannyThe first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know.
I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me
with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?”

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze. “Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked.

She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…”

“No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

“I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months, we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine”
as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. 
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up. At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.”

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change.

Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those
with regrets.”

She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.”

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.
At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died
peacefully in her sleep. 
Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be .
These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.
REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.

Unholy Hungers

I am a vampire!

There are a group of male vampires at a competitive sporting event. Only ONE will be the winner. I know who he is; it has already been seen through my mind’s eye. My premonitions never fail me. The game is all about the hunt, the chase and the kill! I am the prey. We are in some sort of lumber mill. I am running. My breath is quickening. There to my side is a male vampire; he hisses at me and attacks. I kill him with my bare hands and bite his neck, letting his limp body drop to the ground. Then I come upon this dark haired, dark eyes Italian looking man; he will be the winner. Coming up from behind on all fours like a lion stalking its kill, I cross over a large stack of lumber with great ease and a feather touch.

I ask, “Why is it that you men have to be so damn handsome? I know it is to trap your prey, but what of us who are of the same blood? You are going to be asked to hunt me, kill me, and eat me. However, as a dying girl, I ask that you make love to me first. Fuck me! Is that so wrong?”

He looks up at me with cold fiery black eyes. God he’s good looking. I am the one who is hungry. He smiles a devilish grin. We are interrupted in that moment. The group of male vampires and judges approach us. They announce his winning. They set forth a small golden winged fairy, she is delicate and from a time past and a distant land that is no more. She is the time keeper.

24 hours.

Her wings make a chirping sound with each second that passes. Fluttering around like a humming bird, my heart beats in rhythm.

The lumber mill vanishes and we are standing in the misty moss covered woods. I run with great speed as though flying. There are tall thin bamboo like trees. I hide. Thinking to turn back. My scent, he will follow I know. He is quickly upon me. I should fear for my life, but as he approaches my hunger to be with him is to strong. He grabs me in his strong dominate arms. His strength pressing against me from all sides. I feel his life force. I feel his manhood. I feel his light, his shadow and passion.

The fairy is fluttering by us.

“Twist her wings off!” I say demandingly.

He does and she falls to the ground. I make a break and run from him, he is right in step behind me. Through the woods we run. In the mist I see lights, I see mortals. I see a Japanese restaurant. I convince him to follow me and eat to offset his hunger. I am feeling like I am caught in a fast paced memory within a dream. I am dancing in my lust and hunger for him. It is a cannibalistic sort of love.

We are on the chase again. This time we entwine. It is rough, hot, passions fly, hunger at the forefront.

I wake to the morning rain. Mortal and breathing in life.

Vampires are not just imaginary creatures of fiction or legend, they really exist. They are those mortals who have not learned or been given opportunity to love and be loved and instead they settle for power and become experts at robbing others of their vital energies. We have all known a Vampire.

But this dream was not of that. This spiritual tale was of our supposed unholy hungers and desires. Our longings and fantasies. How do we find the courage to step out of the cave of our psychological control, our societal walls and chase what we want? The lust of our spiritual needs. It lies dormant within our blood until one day it awakens and leaves us feeling like the prey being hunted. Our light and our shadow battling to the end and we find ourselves caught between.

Breathless.

Often it is the onset of what is called the Dark Night of the Soul. This is seen everywhere in our world with the massive overtaking of depression and rage. When our cards of transformation have been laid on the table before us, we have no ability to contest. It has been decided and we will now walk a path of what from the outside may appear a road littered with destruction, pain, sorrow, regret and broken bleeding hearts. The ego would have us believe that this will never end, that we will surely not survive. Death perhaps is the best option. We look in the mirror and we see an empty carcass that we once called home. We found ourselves comfortable and attached to a certain image of what we perceived as truth. Now we see it as the mirage it truly was. Our longing to go back in time and change our choices, to walk different paths only stemming from the deep seeded pain we feel. Our physical bodies feeling the spiritual turbulence as the poison of transformation sets into our blood. Everywhere we look we have
memories. We have regrets. Tears fall, rage commands our words, and self
loathing wraps its nasty fingers around our throats masked through our ego as
harsh words and looks from those that love us.

This is a time we walk the shadow lands. The scriptures tell us to walk and fear no evil. They tell us of times that we will lie down in green pastures beside still
waters. Our soul will be renewed and strengthened.

As we cross the ragged bridges of time and see our life drift in the waters of emotion below us we slowly learn to have faith in our steps, for they are guided by a higher power. It is the hands of God that hold us, not the clenching arms of a vampire. Even when the ego bares its fangs and makes us weak from its hunger, it is still God that is administering in the darkness. Our father who art in heaven knows that he cannot show us the light of our pure and true divinity if we do not get through the darkness first. In this overcast we will find rainbows and at the end of each one we will discover, not a pot of gold (no that is for leprechauns), we discover that our pockets are filled with diamonds. And these diamonds have ALWAYS been there. They are our purpose. They are our supposed unholy hungers carefully placed there by no other then God himself. It is through the self-discovery and personal intimacy (INTO-ME-I-SEE) building with our souls that we harvest our birth right. Our Grace!

Once we discover our true radiance we have no fear, we dance with the devil and with vampires. They are our kin only choosing to keep their masks of ego on. We entwine in passionate lustful affairs with handsome strangers and laugh as we drink from our never ending cups of life. We realize that this physical world is our play-land. It is here to help us to become like Merlin. And awaken to the beauty of our own inner Vampire which thirsts for life and is immortal. We are God’s and Goddesses. We are creators and lovers. We are demons, dragons and angels, warriors and princesses. We are spiritual entities experiencing a mortal moment.

What will your moment be like?

A Time to Rend and A Time to Sew- Adventures On The Road Less Traveled

The heat barreled over the fields making each breath feel heavy in its weight. The day was quickly passing, yet the sun was still high in the summer sky. We quickened our pace down the freeway to our exit that would direct us to the small deserted farm road that we now refer to as the Road Less Traveled. Excitement grew between Duncan and me as we had been planning our Sunflower adventure for a few weeks. The last time checked upon the field was bright in color, filled with the tall powerful stalkiness of the sunflowers.

However schedules did not permit us to visit the field and the summer heat had
quickly taken its toll upon the once massive flowers we longed to parade in and develop a Tantric session around. Once focused on the blooming flowers and the 3rd chakra along with the power of not only mother Earth but the sun as well, we now found ourselves amidst a field of sunflowers begging to be harvested. They drooped in the afternoon heat, the earth cracking apart beneath their leaves and losing her grip on their roots. At first there came a feeling of loss over me. How beautiful the session would have been if we had not waited, how dry and non-colorful the field looked now. I wondered if our time and ideas had all been lost. But as I turned and looked into Duncan’s sparkling green eyes, I could see his inner child awakening. There was but only one comment from him that shared my feeling of loss and then he quickly diverted his energy into manifesting and harvesting another Divine Adventure.

Standing at the back of the jeep, I slowly was guided in revealing
myself as god had created me. Bear, beautiful and full of life. I could feel
the great mother’s energy coming up through me, rooting directly to my core, to
my heart.  Deep breaths relaxed me as the hot summer breeze swirled around and made small dust cyclones on the Road Less Traveled. Butterflies danced in lovemaking among the tall spears of grass and Duncan, large smile gleaming from his face as he opened the Crayola Finger paints.

Hmmm…he looked at my flesh as though I was a canvas and he was a kindergarten boy eagerly awaiting the teachers go ahead to get messy and
creative.

Yellow, then red.

A large flower center was being created upon my chest and bosom. Then the yellow petals would have to be formed, the cool paint and his fingers gliding across my warm flesh caused chills to shoot up my spine. Once he had painted a large sunflower on my front he grabbed the green paint. It was time for the leaves and stem. Brushing across my abdomen and over my hips, leaves were opening themselves to the afternoon sun on my very flesh. His artist’s fingers danced and swirled down my thighs, calves and ankles. Moments later he had happily made his way to my back side, yellow and red paints in hand again. This time I could feel him painting the centers of many flowers on my back, then the petals, leaves and grasses had to formed. Duncan’s motions changed during the process. He went from the youthful finger painter to an ancient warrior painter as he created the grasses that covered my rear and back of my legs.  Stepping back he examined his work. Then proceeded to move forward in the moment and ask me if I were ready to explore the field?

The dirt cracked in the baking sun with each step. My feet were singed to the earth’s crust, feeling as though I was walking across hot coals I could not make up my mind weather faster or slower movement was better. Once adrift in the middle of the sunflowers my feet found refuge in the shade of some leaves. Grasshoppers skipped by the dozens from stalk to stalk, creating their beautiful grasshopper music that merged with the locust chirp. The wind blew across the field, Duncan and I looked out over the drooping flowers. They seemed so sad as they finished their journey in this life. We wondered what or even if they would be harvest for.

Perhaps oil?

A sea of trodden weeping flowers, waiting for their rebirth. Much like mankind, each flower growing where it was planted, some sharing seeds and pollen with passer bys who would carry it and plant seedlings in new lands. Dependant on the earth and on controlled environment and feeding schedules of the farmers, each sunflower a captive in its own field of gold. Moments passing, the rising of the sun, the setting of the moon, a thunderstorm that blows in grasses to share the soil and maybe even a drink of rain water.  The once proud, strong and full of life green stems and leaves now covered in age and dust. The yellow glowing faces that turned and smiled in the sun light now almost stripped barren of their
beautiful petal mains. The dark center where all of life for its kind was once housed now taken over by bugs who drained the last bit of life energy from its
mini universe.

Walking through the sunflower field my hands washing across the tops of each plant, I could not help but look at the parallels of this world longing to be harvested and re-birthed and that of my own.

Years pass, time takes its toll on our physical bodies. Our relationships change, our children come and grow, then venture off to new lands without us.  Many of us find ourselves trapped in a job that pays our bills and supports our livelihood but does not contribute to our passion. Our purpose. We are prisoners, enslaved to the dollar bill and the environment it helps maintain for us.  Our prison guards are those “bosses” and laws/rules that tell us how to do our jobs, what to be enthusiastic about and how pleasurable our lives can be. We are tied down to the tracks of the 1% reality with a wooden horse full of nightmares headed right at us. At the end of our lives we may have saved some money, we may have purchased a house and even done some world travel. Perhaps we maintained a marriage of 30 years or perhaps we married and divorced five times. When the sun sets on our lives we too find ourselves like these very sunflowers, our bodies weak and graying, our once proud demeanor now humbled by the need to be cared for like a small child and the life that once held the potential of the universe in its very hands and dreams now the haven to fear of the passing and regret of the past.

Holding onto memories, not wanting to let out of our grasp a moment in time, hoping that if we can but only slow time down then we could enjoy life, then we would be happier, more fulfilled and able to truly open up to love. But time does not wait for any of us and moments keep on moving. We were never intended to hold on, but instead to transform. To awaken to the beauty of the harvest season of life and the re-birth of our soul.

There is a time to rend and a time to sew; Live today, allow your beautiful petals to bask in the sunshine of your life. No matter how difficult it may appear to be or how incredible it may seem, awaken to your true purpose. Heal, Love and Transform! Be the ripple in the energy current of the world that opens the doorway of a new reality for all.

Plant, Tend, Harvest your dreams. Your REALITY!

*View the full gallery of Sunflower pictures on the Photo Tab.

*Read about Playing On The Road Less Traveled (our grounding adventure)

Fly free…

Have you ever just felt so incredibly out of control of your life that you could scream? I sure do at times. But then in the midst of all the chaos of the world and the craziness of your life, God seems to throw out funny little “coincidences” (I do not believe in coincidence but you get what I mean here). These things seem to be like a big flaming red arrow pointed over your head in the sky, trying to guide you in the direction that you should travel, but when you seriously contemplate following this path it gives you butterflies in your tummy, a nervous feeling all over, your heart races, the room you are in gets hot. And then without failure your logical mind takes over yet again and discredits that arrow in the sky that God had arranged so nicely for you to see. “It’s just clouds.”

Have you ever felt as though you could conquer any obstacle thrown your way? That is if your mood was right and you had the right support system in place. Again, I sure do at times. Other times I feel like I am the mud flap on that back of Ford F150 and my owner has decided to go on a very hard and muddy country road to make sure he has gotten good use out of me. But on the days that I feel that the world is my little platter of the best cheesecake your heart to ever long for, those days I glow with an energy that I wish I could maintain throughout life’s little quirks. Those days, I am full of creative spirit, God speaks in the universe and I can hear his voice.

Have you ever felt a love in your soul so strong that it kept you awake at night. So vivid that it bombarded your every waking moment too. Making time seem to stop and yet in the same flash of time move ever quicker. Have you heard the angels singing a love chorus in the heavens because there is no such thing as perfect as love. True love. The things songs are written about, movies are made for, poems and books are read for. The thing that we all long for and pray God will bless us with. When one has a love like this, then the days are easier to conquer. The tidal waves of life seem like little ripples in the bath water around your toes. The logical mind that tried so hard to overcome the soul with fear gets put in its place, because the soul regains it gumption for life, it grabs hold of its true spiritual design and decides that the only way to be, is to fly free.