The comment that rings loud to me from today is, “You can see who is in integrity. You cannot manifest over $22k overnight if you are not!”
Yes this comment.
So true is the statement that I knew I had to share it.
If you question WHY things are not happening for you in your manifestation process,
look no further than your integrity.
Integrity is key.
It is integrity with soul.
It is integrity with God.
And it is integrity with the world around us and the people in our lives.
We cannot manifest at the levels of blessing that we are intended to out of integrity unless we do so with a darkness attached which will only posses us somewhere down the road.
And cast ill karma onto our lives.
If you want clean manifestation that comes with ease and massive flow,
then you must not try and by pass the key component of integrity.
You must stand clear within yourself.
Clear within your relations with others.
You must listen to your soul and stop the actions of ego.
It may seem like it would be an easy thing to do.
all you are being asked to do is to stand in your own truth and speak it. Act it. and show up for and in it.
But the reality is that we humans love drama.
We are addicted to drama.
And we bask in our suffering.
It may sound sick,
and it is.
However, it still is human nature to do just this.
So we create our stories,
we share our tales,
and we devour the attention they bring us.
never realizing that we are sacrificing all of our dreams and desires,
our souls mission,
for this fraction of “feeling alive” through self created drama for attention.
Sad but true.
Many a time,
we find ourselves acting from the place of our inner fearful, self-centered bratty twelve year old state.
We throw our fit.
We beg for understanding.
We stop and we demand.
We point fingers in blame.
And we tell more tales in hopes of gaining a compassionate ear.
Weaving these tales until we can no longer find ourselves,
we continue on this spinning drama cycle where when we finally stop to breathe,
we meet reality.
The harsh back hand of reality swings over our lives and screams for us to wake up.
Our world has crumbled.
We are in the wreckage alone.
The power is still ours.
It has always been ours.
But we must face our addiction,
we must put down the need to feed on the drama.
If we ever want the opportunity to manifest the blessings that God wants for our lives.
Here we stand.
Here we weep.
Here we must come,
battered and bruised from the wounding of the drama we self- inflicted and the lessons we refused to handle in love and grace.
The answer has not changed.
The answer still remains.
Integrity is key.
Standing strong in it we create our blessings.
We manifest our desired life.
Our F-ck Yes Life!
And we smile.
Without it we fall.
Our world crumbles with every touch of our hand.
And we weep in not understanding.
Not understanding that all we ever had to do was be in our truth,
step into our soul alignment.
And live from here.
Will you step into it with me?
Will you embrace your self blessing power?
Or will you turn away and continue to wonder why?
Stop Existing & Start Living
Join me for 5 Intensive Weeks in a LIVE Global Facebook Workshop Starting October 22nd, 2018. Where I show you how to Embrace Your Power and Claim Your Life. Learn how a single mom of seven developed the skills to go from fear and scarcity, making $17k a year to abundance and joy making a multi-six figure income a year.
I will be sharing mind shift strategies that I have adapted through the years to manifest the Freedom Based Life that I now live today.
Limited Workshop Spot’s due to the 1+1 Private Focus Sessions that come with this workshop.
Grab Your seat now for
Embrace Your Power – Claim Your Life
“5 Step’s to a Freedom Based Life”
Have you ever noticed how feakin’ wrong you can be on things?
Have you ever just stopped and questioned why you are so persistent, so dead set on making sure that things go the way you believe they are already even in the face of reality that it is not?
Life is really funny, isn’t it?
We get involved with relationship,
all sorts of relationship and then sh*t happens and we assume we know what the other person is thinking or feeling. When in fact we don’t have an effing clue.
What we are listening to, is nothing more than the babble in our heads.
This babble stems from our own insecurities and fears, not from TRUTH.
This babble is our ego’s ignited and trying to dictate to us all that we really don’t want, but are likely to lean more into because we believe what is false.
I have done my fair share of assuming for sure.
I have been on the receiving end of assumptions as well.
Neither side is good.
Recently I was part of the babbling game of assumptions and it lead me to having to make a post on facebook to “try” and clear some things up. However the issue with assumptions is that the one’s that are having the assumptions made on them go into the defense ( much like I have had to do) and this in the short run, prevents further clear communication as we are grasping for air to be seen, heard and witnessed in truth, all the while the assumptions are dumping them selves out and messing up the truth.
Making it hard if not impossible on the front side to see anything for what it is UNLESS one REALLY wants the truth and investigates it.
Which often NEVER happens.
Because we HUMAN.
And we humans love a good drama story.
The truth often is not as dramatic, exciting or full of gossip and luster as the assumptions.
Assumptions are like the telephone game we use to play as children.
You know the one.
I whisper something in your ear, you whisper what you heard in someone else’s and it goes around the circle as such until the last person speaks what they were told and the original person gets to say, “yes that is what I said, or no here is what I actually said.”
This is ASSUMPTIONS.
Assumptions can destroy people if they let them.
Assumptions are the basis of rumors and gossip.
Assumptions alter our thinking and beliefs about situations, people and even ourselves.
When we buy into an assumption, we allow the darkness of an untruth half baked lie to plant it’s seed in us and all our actions, thoughts and feelings moving forward are based ( no matter how hard we try) on the foundation of an assumption.
So let me get REAL with you guys so you can see the potential damage of an assumption.
TRUTH BOMB coming your way.
Here is what I shared on facebook to help clear up the assumptions that have been floating around my world lately.
See if you can guess what the assumptions were that caused my need to share this. Feel free to post your thoughts below. 🙂
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!! It has come to my attention that there are many misunderstanding floating around in recent and over the last year or so. I am taking this moment to share the truth since these rumors are making it back to me from multiple sources.
1) I am NOT a prostitute, whore, tantric masseuse or bodyworker.
2) I do NOT sleep with my clients. I do NOT sleep with other women’s men either.
3) I AM a life coach that focuses in on sexuality issues such as shame, guilt, orgasm issues, and health issues. I primarily focus in on relationship issues and sex is a major component to these.
4) I DO teach sexuality and relationship workshops and classes. They are NOT orgies, they are classes.
5) I DO coaching in the same fashion that other life coaches do (i.e. talk therapy base)
6) Most of my work these days is done through phone coaching and online courses.
7) I have been in an open relationship with my previous partner for almost 7 years. That was my first open relationship ever. We both had other lovers and knew about them. This was public knowledge for anyone close to us.
8) My focus in life is as follows God, Family, Healing, Work
Working on forgiveness around MANY things.
This song sums it up well.Blessings to all of you caught in the middle.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Dear God please help heal them so that I will feel better.”
“Dear God please get them to change so that I can feel better.”
“Dear God please send your angels down to comfort them so that I can get on with my life, they are bugging me.”
If you think you are above this but you:
Then GUESS WHAT…
No matter how that person is choosing to show up, we see our REFLECTION.
Stop Existing & Start Living
Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.
” A gift unopened is a gift not valued.”- KW
” There I lay with my legs spread wide open as I looked my lover in the eye’s. He was sweating, heated, passionate. Full of arousal and pleasure. His turn on was fulfilling at a deep level. With every thrust of his cock I could sense that this experience was beyond his anticipation and I was honored that I could gift him with it. As he thrusted himself into another’s woman pussy and she was devouring mine I could tell that the sheer act that I would be open to another woman going down on me and to make matters even more divine that she would be eating me out while he was having his way with her doggy style and getting to watch her enjoying me was by far the best Christmas present I could have come up with.
As she gasped for air and moaned from her pleasure and turn on he too became more aroused and leaned deeper into his own pleasure. From my vantage their joy and pleasure were beyond beauty. I found myself caught not in pleasure, not in rapture or orgasm of the physical realms but that of a deep emotional love for this man. In this moment I truly was not body present, if anything I was physically turned off from my own orgasm, but what I had discovered was a sexual giving that could not be touched and a beauty and appreciation for this world and our sex that I did not understand prior.
The adventure moved forward and before long I found myself in a 69 position with this woman and my partner now taking turns fucking her pussy up close and personal not more that a few inches away from eyes and face and then occasionally pulling out of her and thrusting deep into my mouth. Every time he switched from pussy to mouth or vise versa I could see the pulsing energy of his cock expand and he wanted so badly to take all that he could out of this moment. Once again I found myself hearing her moans, feeling her body on top of mine, her breathing changing and her body quivering, her pussy dripping with juices and wanting more but I could not feel her tongue, her lips and fingers as they danced along my vulva and found themselves in me. No, once again I was not able to truly drop down into my body and feel what was happening. But I could feel the high orgasmic energy of my partner and of our playmate. In this instance I found a new arousal yet again, it was a sort of mystery and joy combined in some sexual dance as I watched his cock and balls penetrate and slap up against her and then felt him not just quiver but literally vibrate as he penetrated my mouth. Holding his very hard cock deep in my throat, just past that tight spot I could get little gasps of air as he pulsed and moaned. This, this made me aroused. This activated me some.
Before long I was now on my back, our playmate sitting back sharing how great her view was. My pussy wide open before her and my partner now between my legs now taking me fully while she watched and masturbated to our live lovemaking scene. I could hear her moan, I could smell her in the room. His groans and growls with his ever deepening penetration was a turn on but once again, it was a mental and emotional turn on, it was a deeply intimate affair that made my heart leap with joy but my orgasm was no where to be found physically.”
This was a small take away from my first ever threesome with another woman. I had decided that I was going to gift my partner with something that he had always desired. A fantasy of his and I was over joyed that the whole experience was so beautiful. I still hold so much gratitude to the woman that we chose to share this moment with and who helped to deepen our intimacy as a couple. I wanted to gift the man I love with something I knew he had never been given and I was ecstatic that I was a woman who was willing to play in territories that were not always comfortable or about myself. I had not always been this way, my self-doubt, guilt, shame and concepts of giving and receiving had changed tremendously through the years and still do from time to time as I learn about myself and my own needs and desires. However I can say that the ability to share oneself without a need to receive is something that I cherish in myself. I also cherish the fact that I am extremely comfortable stating my boundaries and desires as well as needs in these areas.
As much as I love to give without receiving I also am not afraid to ask for what I desire. I have learned that giving of this nature can only happen when I myself am in a state of fullness and even better if my cup runneth over with orgasmic bliss already, as in these times are when I am not only willing to give and excited about it, but I want to give freely. In such moments I find my orgasm in others. I feel it when they express their joy, their pleasure. I feel my turn on not in the physical but in my heart and I experience a deeper layer of orgasmic living through this. These moments to me are very unsexual. They are playful education that help me remain in a state of acceptance, appreciation and openness.
This is where one’s willingness and wanting come together in a perfect dance to share love with someone in a special format that is not often understood by any of the parties in the moment it is happening. This is sharing of the unconditional sort.
Willingness Vs. Wanting
We all think that we understand the difference of these two. It seem’s pretty simple. Does it not?
“I am willing to help you move this weekend even though I actually want to just crash and veg on the couch because I am exhausted from the week.”
“I want to go to see Doctor Strange but am willing to see Moana instead.”
These are simple things to see the act of willingness with. The act of giving to another and not doing exactly what we want in the moment so that another can have pleasure with us, or through us or accomplish something that they might need or want to but would like our help with. This does not make the person receiving self-centered. It does allow them to be selfish though and selfishness is not a bad thing as long as we are willing to be grateful for it, give back when possible and do not ever put another into a situation of harm or trauma.
When we are self-centered we tend to not be concerned about others. In these times we express our desires for what we feel are our needs or wants and we do not stop to think about the cost to others, nor do we care. When we are self-centered we are like a bull in a friends china shop and we disregard everything but what we are focused on. We also typically do not allow for space to occur for someone else to make a decision of how they feel or if they want, are willing or otherwise around whatever we are pushing for.
Let me share a brief story to help clarify self-centeredness in sexing:
A few years back I worked with a couple and the main spiff they had was around anal sex. The man loved anal sex and the woman occasionally liked it but most of the time was not interested as it was not her major turn on and she had even been hurt during it a few times. The husband could not understand why his wife would not always enjoy this practice so he thought that if he insisted on doing it more consistently and “assured her” that she liked it during the process that she would get a clue and start to enjoy it as much as he did.
When I spoke to the husband he always shared his concern that she was not understanding how great this act was or her own pleasure. He was convinced that her complaints were false and that for some reason she was just trying to take away his pleasure. When I spoke with the wife she shared that it hurt horribly and his aggressive nature, lack of asking her if she was wanting or even willing to play like this caused her a lot of stress. She was ready to pull the plug on the marriage if it continued. And she did in the end. The husband was shocked that she would divorce him for asking for what he wanted and it being such a small matter at that.
This couple shares a true tale of one partner being self-centered and ONLY concerned about his own pleasure and gratification. To the point of insisting that his wife did not understand what was happening with her own body and emotions.
That is not selflishness though!
Selfishness is another animal all together. We miss use the word all the time and therefore tend to wrap guilt and shame around something that is actually needed and we should have more of.
Selfishness is when we ask for what we need. Selfishness does not mean that we will always get what we are asking for or that we should, it simply says that we know that we need something and that we know that we need to take care of ourselves. If we need another to help us fulfill this then we need to ask for it but if we can achieve it without another or can look elsewhere then often it is more than okay to do this as long as we remain in openness and integrity.
An example of being selfish would be:
After I had my seventh child I was having a really tough time gaining feeling back in my vaginal walls. It took me almost twice as long as previous postpartums. That did not stop my libido though, but the over tiredness and toddler who slept between my partner and myself plus the newborn did not make for the best of grounds for getting back in the saddle. On top of it when my partner and I had sex I could hardly feel him and could not orgasm. This all started doing a mind fuck on me and I found myself not interested in sex with my partner the way that I wanted to be. I knew that I was depleted of orgasmic energy and all the good hormones that get released and help support our bodies emotionally, mentally and physically when we are full on orgasm. I knew that if I did not get this soon that I would sink into depression even further and my old programs would have a better grip on me than normal. I knew that if I did not take care of myself and frequently that I would loose so much of myself and not be able to give to the world any more. So I took matters into my own hands and got SELFISH!!!!
I masturbated every morning. Being in an open relationship also allowed me to ask for more sex with not just my one partner but to pull in my other partner as well and start working my orgasm out in anyway possible. I asked my partners to go down on me, I asked to use toys, I even created some hot scenes that were playful and shared them and said that I wanted to try them. From someone looking in they may have said, ” This woman is a sex addict, she needs help, she is not thinking about anyone but herself.” They would have been right about one thing, I needed help, I needed to help myself and be selfish and I needed support from those who loved me.
Wanting, willing and taking. When we fully understand the differences we should be able to see the positive and negative that they all carry with them, just like anything in life.
Sometimes our wanting is so strong that it makes us forget about others. Other times our wanting is an act of sharing or a desire that we hope will be granted or at least heard in love and acceptance so that we can feel closer and more seen.
Our willingness is often based on one of three things:
*Love or care for another
The last two are based in fear and not even acts of selflessness, but acts of victim-hood and an inability to stand up for our own needs and boundaries. The first is based in love and often is unconditional and if it is conditional we are quick to set our terms.
When we speak of taking, it sounds so mean. Like we are stealing something or causing harm to another by taking. This is only sometimes true. Once again look at the motive behind the act. Look at the act itself. And most importantly realize that in any healthy relationship that one can ONLY take what is offered otherwise it is not a healthy relationship to start with. If you are taking without being offered then you need to examine your actions and realize that you are causing trauma. If you take something that is being offered authentically with no ill emotional back lash (i.e. guilt) then you are honoring your relationship and the gift bestowed upon you.
We take forcefully and we also take what we are being gifted. Ask yourself which it is and then choose wisely.
Honor those you love through the act of unconditional sharing and through the art of receiving. Remember that the gifts given that are unconditional are often the most beautiful.