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Accessing the Light Of Your Desire.

I woke with a hunger.
My sex was on fire and I knew what I needed.
I rolled over, spread my legs and moaned a sigh of desire.
Here my turn on was,
igniting me in this moment,
making me yearn for something deeper.
Yes deeper in my sex,
but deeper in my life as well.
A feeling of fear moved through my body and I could feel myself leaning toward contraction of all this yumminess.
As I pondered the sensations,
the hunger,
the cravings and creatve juices of what was birthing from this ignition,
I also feared loosing all that I had created.
Could I survive my turn on?
Could my relationships survive my turn on?
Could the life that I had created thus far survive,
and if so how would all be transformed?
 
This is the agony of turn on.
We touch on it at moments in our life and as we feel its heat upon our flesh and in our hearts,
we fear its power.
Our power.
And question if we can survive accessing a deeper level of who we truly are.
The majority of people choose safety and mediocrety.
They step back from the flames of their SOUL ignited and they choose to ignore it.
To just maybe crack the door to their soul but a hair, so they can see its radiant light flickering through the crack,
but not enough to actual feel its essence in their lives.
 
This is the SOUL.
The soul is that of fire and freedom.
It longs to have ignition.
The oxygen of the soul is the revival of turn on and when we allow ourselves a moment to breathe into our truth,
when we ask why we are settling for so much less sthan what we know is possible,
we wake up the coals of this desire.
Each inquiry of our hearts,
each questioning of our happiness,
each moment we look a little deeper is a stoking of the fire that is hungry to be seen again.
To breathe into life.
 
The only question remains,
“Will you open to your hungers or will you hide once more form them?”
 
The hiding comes through the fear of loss,
the fear of being left alone in your fire,
and being forced to sacrifice all that you have come to love and have.
 
The truth is,
all that you love and have come to have is not stagnet energy.
It moves with time and space and in our effort to try and keep it just as it is,
we squash its life and potential as well as our own.
If what we love and have is meant to be and in alignment to our SOUL,
our heart and truth,
then it will transform with us,
embracing our desires and needs and all that we are revealing,
and if it is not of soul alignment then it must move into a new dimension of relationship with us and that may feel like its ending.
 
Is there ANYTHING in this life that is truly worthy of you stepping away from your power and truth?
 
And if you say yes to this question,
then if it is truly worthy of your sacrifice of YOU,
then would it demand this of you?
And if so , is that love?
 
When we love,
truly love,
we want for the best of another.
When we love,
truly love ourselves,
we understand that we must stand in our power and want for the best for ourselves.
We must not hide our flames of desire,
we must not squelch our turn on.
Because it is this turned on desire for life,
for joy,
for love,
for sex,
for play, connection, revealing, and truth.
That is the ignition of our empowerment.
 
A candle cannot burn when in a closed container.
Yet you may believe that yours can.
Are you living life with this idea?
Are you living in fear of you rturn on and squelching your pleasure, your truth, your power?
 
Or ar eyou asking another to live in this state with the concept that if they loved you,
if they understood your fears and pain that they would just live in a constainer?
The container that you deem safe.
 
This is a year of change.
It is a year of EMPOWERMENT my love,
and you may claim that you want fo rit,
that you want for love and freedom,
but I question if you can truly handle it.
I ask you today to sit with your fear.
To ask yourself if your fear is worth you not living truely YOU.
 
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Are you ready for a Year Of YOU?
Availble to a limited VIP group of powerful manifestors and individuals who want to rock out and Kick A*s in 2020 I am doing a private 1:1 opportunity to change your inner world to one of high vibration, focused intention, release of fear and self- sabotaging patterns, and development of abundance skills for life, love and money.
Message me for full deet’s on this VIP 6 -week opportunity to work 1:1 with me and make 2020 a Year of Me!
Start of 2020 and activiating your Yes year to You by saying YES to this potent opportunity today.
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Your F-ck Yes Life Depends on Your Flexibility and Willingness to Lean Into Your Edge.

I am going to be a guest on The Union – Real Talk About Personal Growth next week (January 14th). It’s been two years since my last appearance on the show and so much has changed in the course of that time.
 
This morning I finally got a moment to sit down and review some of the questions that was posted for us guests to reflect on.
 
I found myself in so much gratitude for the inquiry that was being offered as it allowed me to dig into this moment in time and where I am at, what I am currently being challeneged with.
 
The question that touched me at a deeper level than others asked was,
 
“What edge are you leaning into?”
 
I ask this question of my inner circle peep’s often, but sometimes admittedly, I forget to stop and inquire with myself on this topic.
 
Leaning into our edge is where we grow.
It’s where we expand ourselves.
It’s where we meet our soul.
And feel our heart.
 
Leaning into our edge in any area of our lives is what we all hunger for,
and typically feel this call to do just this around the turn of the new year.
 
It’s why we make the proclomations and affirmations that we do.
 
We set our intent with the DESIRE to lean into our edge and expand ourselves because we understand that without the leaning into our edge,
we can never have the life that calls to us.
 
But that edge is scary as F-ck!
Is it not?
 
It sounds so easy often to make changes,
we have this burning desire,
we have expereinced the consequences of where our current actions have gotten us and how it makes us feel,
the life path that we are currently on based on our ideas, views, beliefs and actions of yesterday,
and often we are not happy with where we are at or who we are in this moment.
 
We know that we are so much more.
And that this life of ours has so much more to give us.
 
So we hunger for change.
We desire personal development.
We crave healing.
 
And at our core,
at our core we get that the US of today cannot remain if we are to have the US of tomorrow that we want so badly for.
 
And so we lean.
Scared out of our minds,
our hearts race,
our tummies churn with anxiety.
We cautiously or hastely step forward hoping that we survive the ledge that we are on.
 
We fear falling.
We fear loosing.
We fear getting it wrong.
We fear not being accepted in our new skin.
We fear so much and it feels like we could die.
 
Many people in this leaning in back down from the ledge.
They slow their roll and get off the raggedy edge that shakes their internal cage of normalcy.
 
They step back into comfort.
Supported by excuses and good reasons as to why it’s just not time yet to make these changes.
 
Others, step a forward and pray that they survive.
Thinking to themselves that they can do it,
but doubting every step and looking at the potential risks with a passionate focus,
causing themselves to focus on the pain of change and development instead of bringing their attention to the beauty of the birth of themselves.
The raggedy edge shakes them,
and spins them until they are dizzy and exhausted.
Trying to hold onto the wheel of life they try to maintain course and control the outcome,
and then one day say,
“It’s not working!”
and lean back into the comfort of what they have always known.
 
And then there are others,
these others are CERTAIN of their SOUL guidance.
They are confident that the path is perfect and always leading them to a greater version of themselves.
Teaching them about the ebb and flow of life and how constriction leads to expansion.
They feel into all levels of emotion that rise from their own awakening into themselves and even though they may need to pause on the path to catch their breath,
they NEVER stop or turn back.
 
Pushing forward,
leaning further.
 
Allowing life to teach them the power of flexibility.
 
This is what today I came up with while jotting down my answers to the inquiries asked of me for next weeks show.
 
My realization is that this last decade,
and especially the last two or three years has shown me with great intensity the imporatnce of flexibility.
Of not getting caught up on anything and becoming ridgit to how I wish for anything to manifest or develop,
but instead to just breathe in the beauty of the transformation with certainty that it is moving me to my highest and best.
 
I bring this inquiry to you today as well.
And I ask you to really sit with the question,
 
“What edge are you leaning into?”
 
And if you have no edge,
then ask why no edge?
What am I fearing from leaning in?
And how is this serving me to be the person that I know that I can be and to have the life that I want so badly for?
 
Your power will be birthed from your flexibility in your mind and thoughts, your heart and emotions, your physical body and how you choose to move in it.
 
Lean with faith.
God/Universe has your back.
Trust in that calling you feel.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Are you ready for a Year Of YOU?
Availble to a limited VIP group of powerful manifestors and individuals who want to rock out and Kick A*s in 2020 I am doing a private 1:1 opportunity to change your inner world to one of high vibration, focused intention, release of fear and self- sabotaging patterns, and development of abundance skills for life, love and money.
Message me for full deet’s on this VIP 6 -week opportunity to work 1:1 with me and make 2020 a Year of Me!
Start of 2020 and activiating your Yes year to You by saying YES to this potent opportunity today.
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I AM POWERFUL… But I Can’t Do THAT.

I AM POWERFUL.
I AM THE CREATOR OF MY WORLD.
I AM MY OWN BOSS.
I AM ALIGNED.
 
BUT….
I can’t do that.
 
Yeah THAT thing that you suggested.
THAT thing that scares me a little, that shakes my soul.
THAT thing that is calling me.
THAT thing that is appealing, that pulls me, but cost money.
THAT thing where I step out of this comfort.
THIS comfort of all that I AM.
THIS comfort that holds me right here, in the NOW.
THIS eternal NOW.
This eternal NOW that I desepratly crave to change,
because it does not feed me.
It does not satsify my soul.
It is NOT me.
And yet, I AM.
 
I AM…
 
I cannot say it.
I will not admit it.
I will avoid it at all cost.
Instead let’s discuss my limitations.
Hear my plea for these beautiful, justifiable limitations.
You see them.
You see my struggle.
You know I am not making these up.
 
Yes these are what rule me.
These are my obstacles.
These are my burdens, my wounds and my chains.
Yes, that is the comfort that I cannot let go of.
That is the comfort that I will argue for.
That is what I CHOOSE for my NOW.
 
BUT…
I can’t do that.
 
I can’t do this.
I can’t.
 
Do you understand?
Do you see my struggle.
Do you feel my soul, my heart.
 
I want so badly to be aligned.
I crave to have the life that I know is for me.
I want to feel my power.
My worthiness.
I want to love myself.
I want to be SEEN.
 
THIS expression of me that I AM right now,
THIS is not me.
And yet, it is.
 
Because I allow it.
Beacause I am use to it.
It is familiar.
It is safe,
even in its misery,
it is still all I know.
And therefore I believe that it is so.
When you tell me that I can be so much more than THIS.
When you look through to my CORE,
and you witness my light and smile,
I want to run and at the same time I want to strip myself further down,
to be fully revealed.
To embrace ALL THAT I AM.
 
And this finite version of me that I am familiar with and allow all to see,
this version it needs to be embraced and expanded.
I do not long to run from this version,
to hide it, or destroy it,
but to encorporate it into all THAT I AM.
 
It’s funny is it not?
But it is already so.
I AM already every piece of what I desire to be.
There is no encorporation to achieve.
But instead all that is required,
all that ever is required,
is to ALLOW.
 
And to KNOW….
THAT I AM POWERFUL.
 
But in order to fully become what I already AM….
I must let go all the practicle defiance of all THAT I AM.
 
And that means I must STOP making excuses.
I must own WHO I AM.
I must FEEL my worthiness without a need to prove anything.
I must step forward and push these false boundaries of time, money and space.
Of health, support and focus.
 
Yes.
I must command my universe to open itself to my expansion.
I must step forward into trusting all THAT I AM.
And NOW…
NOW I KNOW.
 
I must make what is familiar unfamiliar,
and what is unfamiliar familiar.
 
THIS…
THIS is my path.
 
I AM POWERFUL.
NO MORE EXCUSES- JUST ACCEPTANCE.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time for you to say yes to who you really are beautiful. It s time for you to commit to who you are,
to your soul and say YES.
Let’s work together 1:1 to bring you into the next decade of your life, the next year of your life fully embodied and activated.
Message me for deets on 1:1 coaching now.
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#AWOMANLIKEYOU – I want that!

I am so effing hungry.
I want for so much.
My body desires to open.
To feel,
to have,
to be taken.
I long to be dominated and ravished.
To surrender.
To be FREE.
 
This is the desire of a turned on sensually confident woman.
 
Do not try and control me though.
Do not think you own me.
 
If you want me,
then have me.
 
JUST AS I AM.
 
Your desire is beautiful for me.
But your focus on creating me into something that I am not,
irritates my soul.
 
You claim that you want this sexual seductress,
but in your wanting you do not fathom what it will require from YOU.
 
You cannot have me sweet man.
And here is where your issue resides.
You will never contain that essence that you want so badly for.
You will never have me.
You must always be comfortable with letting me go.
 
I am wild and I am free.
I am independent even when you carry me.
I am passionate and powerful,
hungry and emotional.
You love my wild woman,
You crave to penetrate her so.
But in the enveloping,
you will loose yourself,
and if you allow this to happen,
you will loose me as well.
 
You see this woman that you desire…
she will only be with you,
if she wants you.
 
She will only remain,
if she is free to be herself.
She will only go deeper if she can trust that you can handle her fire,
her dance,
her love,
her passion and thirst for life.
 
She will play with many,
but hold out for only the few.
 
The few that are confident in themselves.
Expansive and strong.
Who want for her like she wants for life.
 
This confident seductress,
she is I my love,
but you can and never will have her.
 
Can you handle that knowledge my sweet?
Can you love and trust with the knowing that you will never contain that, that you desire to keep so close?
 
Can you muster up the courage my love to step further into who you truly are and witness all the depth of your soul,
unmasking your fears,
unraveling your truths,
and letting go of all that holds you back away from,
to feel you and her in totality?
 
Can you my love?
 
It will be required.
It will be sought after.
And for you to keep her,
you must do this at very least.
 
Many a warrior has walked on her grounds,
many a man who believed that he was King enough to hold her attention,
carry her heart,
open her soul,
and expand her sex.
 
Many have believed that they touched something special.
Many have thought that they captivated her.
But in truth,
it is not such.
It is but only a few.
 
Enjoy your dance my love.
Enjoy this dance while it is here.
Do not get caught up in the ideas and visions of owning her lands,
do not believe that she will employ you for more time then she feels fit,
the goddess on her knees before you,
with her intoxicating smile and scent,
her eye’s glimmering with fire,
her touch that ignites your core,
making you want to be a better man.
 
Yes that goddess will always adore you.
She will always appreciate you.
But the moment you reach out to hold on…
 
SHE IS GONE.
 
This is the dance of the of a turned on sensually confident woman.
 
A woman who KNOWS herself.
A woman who LOVES herself.
A woman who is OPEN.
A woman who is EMPOWERED.
 
The seductress you hunger for,
who makes you crave for more,
she is unattainable,
even if you bask in her love for a lifetime.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
This poem was inspired by all the men who have shared their desire to have me in some fashion,
or to find me within another woman some way.
 
All women are seductresses.
All women deserve a KING.
And to call out this empowered, turned on Queen,
YOU must be a fit KING.
 
To learn more about the tantric empowerment practices that I teach men and women so that they can live a true F-ck Yes! Life in all subject areas that they want, message me for deet’s on my 1:1 coaching today.
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This Is Why Your Woman Will Not Pursue You.

Can you imagine starving?
Can you imagine what it must be like to be so hungry and not have food available,
or to not be able to consume the food that is there close to you?
Now I have been hungry before,
there are actually many days that happen where I almost forget about eating. I get so caught up in what I am doing and who I am working with or enjoying,
that food does not cross my mind.
My body though is still hungry.
I might occasionally feel the pains and grumblings of my hunger,
but unless I focus in on it, I can resist it and carry on about what I am doing.
Over time though, my blood sugar get’s low.
My head starts to pound.
I get moody, feel light headed and tired.
I can’t keep focused.
And funny enough, in moments like this, the last thing on my mind is eating.
Instead I wonder about, wondering what’s wrong with me?
Because in the not eating, I forget about food.
 
It never fails though in these moments.
Someone comes along, with something that awakens me to my hunger.
 
I am sure you have had this experience.
You are hungry.
You get side tracked.
You get more hungry.
You ignore the hunger pain.
You dull your senses.
You feel off.
AND THEN……
you smell a burger and fries.
 
Yes, it’s that moment.
You can maybe even smell that burger and fries right now.
You pass that restaurant and you smell it.
 
YUM!!!!!
Your body ignites.
Your stomach yells at you.
Your gut gurgles and says, STOP.
EAT.
 
Okay,
so you can understand this right?
 
Now imagine these two scenarios.
 
1) You are hungry like this. Starving. You catch a whiff of something yummy. Someone walks by you with that burger or steak. You follow them. You smell its juiciness. You can taste it almost. You are so hungry all you desire is a bite. You wish to just taste it. And they look at you and say, “No – my food!”
What are you feeling? What do you do?
 
2) You are hungry like this. Starving. You smell that burger and you decide to run through the drive trough. You order it plus the fries and a soda. You inhale it without thought because of your level of hunger. It’s a piss poor quality burger. It lands in your gut like cement. You feel sick. You feel even worse than before you ate it. You know how bad it was for you and you start to overthink your haste. Now you are upset with yourself for doing what you know you should not have done. You should have waited and taken better care of yourself but the hunger was REAL. What are you feeling? What do you do?
 
In either of these situations,
you are not being fed.
You are not being fulfilled.
There is no real satisfaction.
You just get frustrated.
Irritated.
And want for more, but find yourself KNOWING that what you want is not what you got.
 
Many people when they make poor food choices that make them feel yucky, commit in that moment to not do it again. Or at least not do it to soon again.
 
Many people who are hungry like this, do not choose then to hunt down all the fast food that makes them feel less than good.
 
Many people when they see a link to something causing them issues, choose to either avoid it, or limit their exposure to it.
 
Right?
That seems normal and within logical reason, wouldn’t you agree?
 
Well, here is the thing love.
This tale of starving. Of fast food.
It is actually not about food at all.
It is about satisfaction. Desire. or lack there of.
It is about STARVING.
 
But what I speak of here is the starving of good sex.
The starving of gourmet fulfillment.
I speak here what almost every woman would agree upon if they were raw and real about it.
 
That they are STARVING.
Hungry for something that they hardly get.
 
Can you imagine that 75-80% of the time that you have sex that you do not feel good from it?
That you actually feel yucky.
 
Can you imagine that you feel 75-80% of the time like it was a waist of time, energy and you feel disconnected and more empty then before you went into the situation?
 
Can you imagine that 75-80% of the time that you had sex that you did not enjoy it, have an orgasm?
 
All of this and more is accurate when we truly look into female sexual experience.
 
Gentlemen,
You get fed every time you eat.
You eat what you want and you like it most of the time, because shiz,
it’s food and who does not like food.
 
Well us ladies,
75-80% of the time we eat,
we feel sick from it. And we are not really eating,
we are just getting that whiff of the food.
So who wants to sit in their hunger and just catch a whiff at best 75-80% of the time?
 
Who in their right mind would desire,
pursue, look for or even be excited in the least to have that experience?
 
Not too many people I am guessing.
Yet, our partners ( and I say this as a woman who has had a partner want me to desire just this that I speak on plus the hundreds of couple’s that I have worked with over time who have the male partner wanting to be pursued, desired and frustrated with the woman on not doing so)….
 
Our partners, want us to want this for ourselves.
And they wonder why…
why we women shut down.
Why the sex turns from hot to Anniversary, birthday and Christmas sex.
They wonder what is wrong with their female partner to not want such a wonderful, connective, fulfilling thing such as sexual intimacy.
 
And I tell you in my rawest truth here,
THIS IS ONE MAJOR CONTRIBUTING FACTOR.
 
So what is the answer?
How can you fix her issues?
How can you make sure that she get’s fed?
 
 
These are the questions that are asked in couple-hood.
 
First, it is a two way street.
Both parties need to work on it individually and together, communication MUST happen. Things must change in order to get the results desired.
 
Second, You cannot fix her. She is not broken. And she is not a toy for your fixing Mr. Fix It. So effing STOP! You can however become a better lover. You can gain presence, compassion. You can inquire with skill. You can slow the F-ck down. You can actually want her to enjoy and there fore not get irritated and bored with the time she needs to take. You can do your own internal work, emotionally and mentally.
 
Third, you can do the above two.
And of course, if you need more help.
You still don’t know what to do,
to change.
You can seek outside help.
Like mine, ( Yes my shameless plug there…. but it’s true, you have been doing what you have been doing and you have been blind to what is happening until this moment or you have been really good at ignoring it all and hoping that it would just fix itself. That has not worked though. So… insert my shameless plug again please.)
 
And here are the facts,
sex is important. No matter how we try to discredit it.
Sex and money are the two major factors in relationship breakup and happiness.
 
Many people think they have a successful relationship because they look at the longevity of that relationship. The years spent together.
 
However, the truth is that relationship success is not about the years together,
it’s about the joy. The happiness. The over all feeling that the relationship leaves you with.
 
And most relationships under this mindset of success are far from successful.
 
So I ask you today,
are you content having and providing a fast food sex life at best to your relationship? The person you love and cherish?
 
Or is it time that you discover how to truly feed her?
 
Yes the gourmet variety.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
‘Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for deet’s on my 1:1 global coaching opportunities and more.
 
You deserve a deeply connective, turned on bedroom life and more.
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Your Neediness Is Stopping Your F-ck Yes! Life.

I know that you want it baby.
I can see it in your eye’s.
I know that you desire for that F-ck Yes! Life.
You want the connection,
you want the passion,
you want the happiness and direction.
I can see your desire.
It washes across your face as you speak.
It is a hunger,
and you are starving for it.
 
But luv,
here is the issue,
here is the challenge that you cannot see for yourself.
This hunger that is pulling at you,
it has you blinded to what you are missing.
 
And that my luv,
is not what you hunger for,
NO.
What you are missing is the presence,
the release,
the surrender.
You are missing your own allowing,
out of the fear that you miss all that you hunger for.
You fear that by letting go,
you will loose.
And what you are causing is the very lose of what you want so deeply for.
 
You are desperate and hungry luv.
You are a ravenous beast.
You are dangerous.
You are pushing away everyone and everything,
because of your fear.
And this has you even more hungry, does it not.
 
The answer to what you desire,
the way to getting it for certain.
It is not in you chasing.
It is not in you demanding.
It is not in you threatening,
or shaming,
or manipulating.
No you will never achieve what you want in these futile attempts.
This sort of immaturity may make you feel powerful,
it may show you evidence of you getting for a moment,
but you will loose it all quickly,
if you do not allow yourself to have it through your true power.
 
And that power is felt in your love.
It is seen and experienced in your presence.
In your opening to understanding that your self-centeredness is holding your desire at bay.
 
You want to be seen.
You want to be felt.
Understood.
You want to be wanted.
 
And you can have all of this and more.
Life wants to give to you luv.
But in order to have it,
you MUST allow it.
And this will come when you let go.
 
Let go of your neediness.
Let go of your control.
Let go of your hunger.
In your trying,
you are resisting.
 
You are missing all that you can be.
You are missing all that you can have.
You are missing all that you can give,
can share.
 
Because luv,
yes,
it is all about you.
You are for certain the most important person in the room.
But your importance,
must rest assured in confidence not need.
You cannot demand the spot light at the cost of the room.
You cannot fear your own light to the point of hiding from your shadow.
 
The way to have it all.
The path to your F-ck Yes! Life…
It is through your release of the NEED.
 
Ask yourself today luv,
where am I holding on? Where am I resisting all that I can have by insisting on my need?
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for deet’s about 1:1 elite coaching opportunities today while they still are available.
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GIVE YOURSELF THE DAMN PERMISSION.

GIVE YOURSELF THE DAMN PERMISSION.

It’s time beautiful to stop accepting so little for what you want.
It’s time to stop being available for all this shiz that is not serving you.
It’s time for you to OWN WHO YOU ARE and scale your life up to match that version of you.

But here is the thing gorgeous,
in order for you to do this,
to have that, that you so desire and feel that you cannot not do/have….

You MUST give yourself the damn permission.
You must give yourself the permission to receive the success,
receive the love,
receive the healing,
receive the lifestyle,
the joy.

Until you stop settling for suffering and lack,
until you commit to having what you want and you KNOW that you are worthy of,
you will never achieve it.
You will not call in what you want until YOU,
no one else make it so.

And you do this by giving yourself permission to be the damn person that you know that you are.

You do this by not accepting your reasons and excuses anymore and calling out your own bullsh*t.

You do this by applying not harder or more work,
but by applying your SOUL – led callings and heart to your life.

You do this by no longer closing your eye’s and hoping that ignoring it, that it will magically go away, all the while you sit around and fantasize about the horror that will happen.

STOP THAT SHIZ!

When you have decided that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired of not living up to the person that you know that you are,

when you have had enough of the not having the life that you want,

when you are FINALLY exhausted enough,
and gotten to the point of done,
and realized that NO ONE else on this planet is going to ever
come in and say,

“Hey you… yeah you with the big dreams and goals. You who deserves to have it all… you who has been working your ass off for so long and struggled so much… yeah you…. I GIVE YOU PERMISSION to have it now.”

Yeah that is not going to happen beautiful.
People may support you in different ways.
Your tribe will pat you on the back and love on you.
Your mentors will love you with some deep inquiry work and a smile of knowing.

But NO ONE ELSE will ever be able to give you permission to step the f-ck up to who you are meant to be and JUST BE IT!

That is all you BABY!

There is nothing that anyone else can do to get you to shift,
to scale up your life, your business,
to get you to heal quicker, love more open, trust again…

NADA…
NOTHING…
NO ONE!

The only person who can give you the damn thing that you need RIGHT NOW…

Which happens to be permission to be unstoppable.
Permission to have it all.
Permission to BE YOU – unapologetically.

IS YOU!

So what is stopping you?

When will you have had enough of your own bullshit?
When will you finally be tired of accepting so little for your life and your joy?
When will your suffering no longer serve you?

Because as long as you accept your suffering as something that is giving you the attention that you need,
as long as you keep leaning in on your reasons, worries, doubts and excuses,

the one thing you will be guaranteed is that you WILL NOT have what you want in work, love or life.

But you have to get to enough being enough.

You have to want for your own joy more than your suffering.
You have to embrace the reality that there is another way to connect other than through drama and pain body.
You have to want to release the bondage that you have put yourself in.

And when you reach this pivotal point on your path to CLAIMING YOUR LIFE…

You will give yourself the damn permission.

And then baby,
it’s LIGHTS OUT to all that holds you back.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Ready to say yes to your life,
to claim the lifestyle that you want.
Ready to love yourself.
To have the money, time, love, freedom that your soul craves for?

Let’s chat!

Posted on

Why We Want to Please Others So Badly and How It Eff’s Us Up.

People pleasing makes you wishy washy and unattractive.

People pleasing is NOT an endearing characteristic.
People pleasing is disrespectful to everyone in the relationship.
People pleasing is a manipulative act of insecurity and lack of self-worth and love.
It will only get you an illusion of what you desire.
Never will you truly gain what you want from any relationship by attempting to bend over backward and have pores boundaries just to avoid confrontation or rejection.

When we come into a relationship with the concept that we MUST do this or that in order to be worthy of …(fill in the blank) then we do a great disservice not only to ourselves but to the integrity of the relationship and the other person that we are acting in relationship with.

People pleasing is for those who believe that they MUST provide a result or response according to another’s desires at the cost of their very truth. It is a form of performance anxiety that those who get trapped in this concept that we are here to serve others and are in some fashion responsible for others feelings, actions or thoughts.

As one matures in relationship perspective and does the inner mindset work and healing work of releasing attachment to old traumas and belief structures one can come to terms with personal responsibility and being proactive for one’s own needs, thoughts, feelings and actions. As this comes about you can see that no other is ever responsible for making us do anything nor is it their assuring of an outcome for our lives or needs.

From this clearing perspective one can see with greater ease that we too are not at fault for another’s ideas that they may turn over to us.

When we demand of someone to be in alignment to what we want of them without any thought or inquiry as to their interest of being in alignment we do two things:

1) we attempt to take control or power of another’s feelings, responses, desires, etc.
2) we give our power away to them by giving them responsibility over our needs being met thus we relinquish our power in creating the happiness, connection or anything focused on as the ultimate goal.

Simply put by demanding that another please us we turn over our happiness to their control and in turn by being a people pleaser we turn over our power to our happiness by wagering our authentic answers and feelings to make another happy in hopes to gain happiness for ourselves.

It is a devaluing circle of not wanting to own responsibility of our own happiness.

Happiness, much like anything else that we strive for in life (i.e. freedom, intimacy, peace, love, etc) must come from within. No outside influence will ever guarantee any of these things to maintain in our life. It is up to each of us INDIVIDUALLY to guarantee them through our dedication of turning inward and finding them at our core, then revealing them to our lives through our energetic response to life.

When we choose to lower our vibration through the scarcity thinking that we are to earn these things instead of unveiling them from within…

(Because they are always with us and can never be taken from us)

we choose to use ourselves,
our time,
our finances,
our resources of any kind,
our sex,
our love,
our acts of service,
etc.

as commerce to BUY that which we are currently not feeling worthy of.

We trade ourselves,
our very truth,
for a false or temporary version of that which we desire to have.

By doing this we disrespect and attempt to manipulate the relationship and the beauty of what could potentially come through it.

You are worthy of happiness.
You are worthy of love.
You are worthy of freedom.
You are worthy of peace.
You are worthy of abundance.

You were born this way and these things are not goals to be earned. they are gifts given to us by the creator and are accessible at any moment on our life path when we so choose them over our fear and ego based concepts that have been instilled in us to prevent us from fully embrace our powerful nature as co-creators of this world and our lives.

You always have a choice,
and no one can ever take these gifts away from you.
It is your choice to live in bondage and fear which will lead you on a path of suffering and disconnection,
or you can choose to open up to love.
Open up to faith.
Open up to the freedom of your true self.

All these desires are FEELINGS that one wants to obtain,
but can not hold onto if the power of their creation is handed over to anyone but SELF.

KNOW your worth.
ALLOW yourself to receive your blessings,
through your Focus and commitment to living in INTEGRITY of SOUL.

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

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I have been in those shoes before all too many time.
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Posted on

This is what you want in a partner.

From Guest Author Addison Bell

It’s all fun and games until you actually have to deal with the other side.

You sit and desire certain characteristics of those in your life, and especially out of a romantic partner. Yet, I daresay that many times you are asking for a mess of contradictions.

Its easy to look at some aspirational values and personality traits and think that this is exactly what you want to pull into your life but if you aren’t careful you will end up pulling in exactly what you don’t desire.

And the funny thing is that your Ego would probably throw a tantrum and say, “But I do do desire it, I do want that, I can hold that person” but in the end you really can’t handle it.

You might desire someone who is playful and has that flirty personality that makes you feel all bubbly inside… until they are flirty and playful with others and it smacks right into your jealousy and trust issues.

You might desire someone that knows how to act like a “lady” or “gentleman” when you are out in public and can hold the proper level of poise… until they are always poised and never able to let go of that persona (even in the bedroom).

You might desire someone that has their own life and is more free flowing with the relationship. Someone that isn’t that awful word “clingy”… until they can’t be there and support you the way that you need and you never truly feel held.

And really any trait that you desire in a partner is going to have the opposite side.

It is pretty commonly known from a psychological perspective that in relationships the aspects that often attract you to your partner are also the very same aspects that can cause the greatest struggle.

There is that old saying about how men should want a lady in the streets and a freak in the streets.

We want our partners to be both sides of a coin….
And most of the time it can mean the destruction of a relationship!

Now, thankfully we are complex beings and so are not one thing or the other. If you take the above example of having a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets… I know many women that are able to present one aspect of themselves when out at dinner parties and then turn around and have a mind-blowing sexual evening with a partner. Both are authentically them and both are aspects of who they ae.

Though these women have also worked through the stereotypes that come with both sides of the coin and know where they are authentically.

Though, lets be honest, yes I mean really honest here…

Most people are NOT doing deep personal work on a daily basis. And most people are not willing to look at when their ego’s arise in relationships. So when an aspect that is a turn on in one sense becomes a turn-off… we blame that other person. We don’t look at ourselves and where WE might be the ones that have unspoken expectations.

Many times we even struggle to admit where we struggle in relationships and where our ego’s simply can’t handle something.

You want a partner that is free, playful, open-minded but then when this pushes on your jealousy, your need for attention, and your belief that there is a certain way to “do” relationships…

Can you actually look yourself in the face or actually look that other person and say, “I don’t want you to be so free”. “I wish you weren’t so playful”, “I want you to be open-minded but just not about this topic”.

Most would look at the other person as the issue and not be able to truly say… “I am not able to hold this aspect of you”.

Again, we are complex and hold so many intricacies. Each person, situation, and experience will present a different expression of self. So what fits and is a desire with one partner or relationship could be entirely different than what fits and is a desire in another relationship.

In truth it all comes back (as always) to self and looking deep within ones self authentically. What are we desiring in our relationships? And then looking at if we truly could hold that characteristic in another if it presented to us. Where would our ego get shaken? What are non-negotiable in our relationships?

If you want freedom… how free?
If you want play… how playful?
If you want stable… how stable?
If you want sexy… how sexy?

What can you truly, honestly, at your core hold?
Get honest with yourself! And start doing your inner work to help you be able to look within when situations arise.

And more than even that…
Get honest with self when someone presents something that truly won’t fit with you and your life. Don’t pretend to be okay with something that is a hard NO. This will only push you further and further out of alignment from self.

Most importantly LOVE self first and foremost. When we do this we are most able to be authentic, honest, and love another. Even if the way we are loving that other is by letting them go and be who they are authentically.

Sending you all…

Love, Light, & Blessings,
Addison

Posted on

When Too Much isn’t Enough.

I am too much.
Truly I am.
The way I share,
the way I love,
the way I enjoy,
the way I act,
the way I sex,
the way I can let go,
the way I parent,
the way I live.
 
It is all too much and then some.
Yet I am happy being too much.
Even though it costs me relationships,
arguments, hurt feelings and lot’s of change.
I am too much,
and it is just who I am.
 
But my too much,
is still not enough,
because my too much,
won’t give you what you want and may need.
 
How can this be?
Too much is not enough???🤔
 
You see it is the very fact that in being too much,
I push the limits.
I push the limits on everything,
especially on love, on relationship, on sex and my over all way of living.
Too much means that I am demanding in these things.
Too much means that I know what I want,
and I am not afraid to go after it.
Too much means that if I feel like I need more of something or that I cannot achieve it in the way before me that I will go and get it another way,
and tell you about it.
Too much means that I share.
I share in massive amounts,
because I want you to know.
I want you to step into the pool of living with me,
in integrity.
I want to grow,
and experience,
and I want to do it with those who want it too.
The other too muchers out there.
 
Yes, too much means that I understand that life is very polyamorous in so many ways. I know that my heart can expand to the depths, to the horizons that I choose. I know that I can love many and deeply. And I do.
 
I do this daily.
I do it openly,
and it makes me too much.
For many.
 
My too much is not enough,
even though you proclaim it is everything.
My too much is not enough,
even though you claim not to want to change me.
My too much is not enough,
even though you enjoy when it suites your desires.
My too much is not enough,
because it will push you to your limits.
It will make you uncomfortable.
It will test your heart.
It will call to your soul.
It will demand for you to fly or to walk away.
 
I am too much,
and it is a life long heartache,
as I share of my too muchness,
with those who love it and then hate it.
I am too much and with it comes the pain of loss,
as people ebb and flow,
and say they cannot do it.
With feeble excuses,
they move into knew life choices,
they run away from my too much,
to all that is comforting and less challenging.
 
Here is the reality of life for anyone who is truly too much.
We share deeply of ourselves,
we love deeply of those who dance with us in moments of our lives,
and we know that our too much will burn them.
And with the fire they will run.
Run into the arms of another.
Run into the comforts of average.
Run into the excuses of ego,
of jealous,
pride,
fear.
Run.
Run.
Run.
 
Yes that is what will happen,
because my too much is not enough.
And it will push you into the pain of reality.
The pain that you cannot hold me.
You cannot control me.
You cannot conquer me.
You can only dance with me.
And dance I will for hours and days,
for months and years,
and even decades.
But it is ultimately your choice,
how long the dance lasts.
 
Grow and expand.
Breathe in the feelings.
Breathe in the beauty,
the boldness,
the joy,
the play,
the adventure.
But heed the desire to stop it’s flow,
for in that moment is when the dance will end.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.