It’s not your NORM.
But it feels like it is.
It may be common,
it may be abundant in your life,
But I swear to you…
It’s not your NORM.
And what am I referring too?
I am referring to that feeling of anger.
That feeling of fear.
That feeling of judgment, bitterness, shame, guilt,
Or even questioning.
Your worry is not normal.
Your suffering is not normal.
No matter how prevalent it may seem,
It’s still is not your NORM.
I tell you this with certainly,
That when you feel out of sorts,
when you are caught in negative emotion,
When you feel rageful, vengeful and vindictive.
This is not normal.
This is not who you are.
You sit in such comfort with your chronic ideas of what just is. Accepting life for how you have been told to view it. You watch your life drift by never fully engaging with ALL that you are.
Always searching for happiness,
But only ever gaining small morsels of it at best.
Believing that the drama is normal.
That its just how life is.
But you KNOW at your core its not true.
You know because you are looking for who you are always. You feel the seperation from your truth.
From your SOUL.
There is this strange calling inside of you.
A feeling of something more.
A sensation of your greatness.
But you are trapped under the misery that feels like the reality you must live.
It’s not your NORM.
Your norm is that of love.
Of feeling good.
Now that may sound a bit 60’s flowers child for you.
A little too new age even.
But its the actual truth of who you are and what your state of normal is to be and always is at your SOUL level.
The discord you feel is simply because you are not looking at any given situation through the eyes of God or SOUL. You are viewing it from the disadvantage point of forgetfulness of who YOU ARE.
You have turned your back and closed your eyes to love and THIS is what is causing your worry, fear and suffering.
But there is blessing in your pain
The blessing is the lesson of learning what you do mot want from life and the building of desire for what you do want.
All you need do to embrace the life you want so badly for is to STOP ACCEPTING this ill state of feeling.
Stop allowing yourself to fall prey to what you have always perceived as normal and instead see it for the blessing that it is.
There to reveal to you that you are out of alignment with SOUL.
That you are buying into a faulse reality instead of what is true and you are putting value on things that do not matter nearly as much as you believe.
Soul is not upset about that car cutting you off on the highway.
Soul is not upset that your child drew on the wall.
Soul is not upset that your spouse is not acting the way you want or think you need.
Soul is not upset that the government is doing what it is doing or that your friends said the things they said.
Soul knows that all happens for a reason.
That each event in life is stepping you closer to what you want and that the ONLY thing holding you back is this crazy concept of what you call normal.
Are you ready to embrace the truth?
Are you ready to finally say YES TO SOUL?
Then take the step needed.
The only step ever needed and let go of upur suffering.
Your worry and fear.
Your regrets and your shame.
Let go of your needing someone or something to be different then what it is.
Let go of your you negative vibe.
And JUST LET YOUR HEART BE FELT.
Your soul lead.
You know who you are.
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “`
This is WHY I love my haters, nahsayers and skeptics….
I just want to say that I love you!
I truly do.
Without those of you who live for the fight,
for the ego, for the anger and the sadness,
there would be no mission to bring light and love into this world.
Without all of you who are super critical,
who find more value and worth in trying to be right then focusing on beauty and truth.
For all of you who feel the need to judge, criticize, make fun of, and attempt to squash,
there would be limited exploration into self,
into deeper awareness and understanding.
Without you who adore darkness and hatred,
who live for the putrid thoughts and ill feelings,
there would not be contrast,
showing what love is and what love is not.
Revealing what walking on the path of soul is and what it is not.
For those who speak of their belief,
their faith and their loyalty,
to something greater and grander,
how they live the words of masters of our past,
yet weld the words of inner demons and sadness.
This void that you choose to bless the rest with,
is a blessing sweet soul.
It is a blessing,
and for this I love you.
I love you,
the skeptics that choose to follow,
and cast stones that are not yours to cast.
I love you for showing the path that hatred and self-contempt can take any of us down,
for sharing the void that you must feel,
the lostness that eats at your soul.
I hear your pain sweet one.
I see your pleas,
Your desire to be recognized,
to feel some sort of worth.
If even from a negative source.
Much like a small child,
who acts out to receive attention,
you too act out to be seen.
I tell you here,
I tell you from my heart and my soul,
although you may not want to believe,
to hear or to receive.
I tell you now,
I LOVE YOU.
You are worthy.
You are beautiful.
You are deserving of happiness and abundance.
No matter how lost,
or sad or traumatized you may be.
YOU are worthy.
One day your soul will speak,
and you will choose a different path.
You will choose to hear the words,
the words of your worth.
You will realize that in order to fill that void,
that gaping hole that resides inside of you,
you will have to lean away from hatred,
away from judgement,
away from the casting of the stones.
You will have to embrace that we are all part of the same race.
We are HUMAN.
And we have our misguiding’s.
Our ego catches the best of us,
but still God wants for nothing more,
then EVERYONE of us to LOVE life.
To love thy neighbor as thy self.
To know that none walk without sin.
To know that we are loved.
To know that we are worthy.
And to OWN the very truth that LOVE,
Love is the answer.
This is why I love my haters, my nahsayers and the skeptics that choose to follow me.
That choose to condemn.
That choose to hate as they preach.
I love you sweet haters.
Thank you for supporting my mission.
Thank you for supporting my soul work.
Thank you for the opportunities to share,
and from this authentic space,
that as I sit in stillness,
and listen to the calling.
I know who I am .
I know how important it is…
to STAND firmly,
to speak in love,
to share the message of a life worth living.
The life that we are all here to LIVE.
A life of THRIVING.
For anything other is not giving praise to our creator.
I love you haters, nahsayers and skeptics.
Thank you! Thank you for your sharing.
Without YOU there would be no reason.
I share with you now one of my favorite messages,
the one that most aligns…
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
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Explore the power of forgiveness, shame release, judgment and anger management and how such negative influences can become lifetime roadblocks to your life of THRIVING?
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Message me for deet’s today.
Just this morning I was walking my kindergartner into his school. There I was in yoga pants, a tank top and sweat shirt off one shoulder. My hawaii flip flops on my feet and my hair tossed up in a pony tail. My son and I were goofing around like we do every morning, laughing and hugging, picking on each other as we crossed the parking lot and walked down the entry way of the school.
It was just another morning in truth.
And yet it was not.
Because this morning I was people watching more so than what I normally do for some reason.
And as always with people watching I always feel so separated from those around me.
I feel judgmental.
And maybe I should be ashamed to admit that here publicly, but living by my true style I am going to stand in my raw truth with you and just speak it.
I mean we are all judgmental and critical.
And anyone who claims to not be is hiding or lying.
What it comes down to in my opinion, is what you choose to do with the judgments and thoughts that come up.
Do you choose to observe them,
do some good inquiry around them,
and discover deeper messages about yourself?
Or do you choose to pick apart others and find fault and reason as to why you are suffering or how you are better than another in order to justify your worth or reasons?
So here I was,
walking in the school with my son like fifty other women,
and what I noticed was the lack of connection between these parents and their children. There was no laughter, only seriousness and rushing.
There were no smiles even, just pissed off turned down expressions.
Most walked quickly and with a hunched over frame, as though they were trying to hide.
And then there were a few who bee-bopped by looking like they had been up for 3 hours already. Very well put together, but walking in haste.
Entering the school,
music playing, teachers singing and welcoming children, I noticed how the kids lit up as they entered the school because the teachers were appearing excited and happy to start the day with them. The upbeat music caught your ear and made you want to sing along, which is what I do every morning.
But I was alone.
and parents looked at me,
casting their own judgement back.
Most likely wondering who this crazy woman is who dares be happy and sing out loud to her child and shake her hips at the front door as she kisses her kid good by and gives a big hug, then turns and chats with a teacher or two?
Yes, so there I was judging and being judged.
And as I turned and walked back to my car, I noticed how so many parents just seemed lifeless.
Now I was feeling pity.
And I don’t do pity very well.
My pity quickly turned to irritation and disgust.
I looked at these people,
and in my belief they each have a purpose.
They each have a talent.
They are each born for greatness.
They are worthy.
But all I see here is a lack of worth.
And the only effing reason for it is that they are allowing it.
And what are they teaching their children by accepting such a life of low vibe, low energy, dullness and disconnect?
They are teaching them to be the same.
Because our children 90 % of the time do not learn from what we tell them to do, but from what we show them we are doing.
You want an honest child.
Be honest with your child and others.
You want a compassionate child.
Be compassionate with your child and others.
You want a child that can stand on their own two feel and is not easily lead astray.
Then be strong in who you are and have good boundaries and speak your truth.
Whatever you are desiring your child to grow up to be,
realize that you are an example to them.
So back to my point.
Here as I walked I saw a bunch of people who had somewhere along the life trail gotten good with just existing.
Gotten good with their reasons,
their excuses and why’s.
They had settled into not having.
Settled into average.
And had forgotten that they could define what their average looked and felt like.
It’s crazy to think how close to all that we want each and everyone of us truly is.
And yet it is so.
It is no further away then what we are willing to accept for ourselves.
Willing to believe for ourselves.
Willing to expect for ourselves.
But WE have to actually want it bad enough to stop calling in all the reasons that we don’t have it or cannot have it.
Our reasons have got to mean less to us then our DESIRE.
So what are you settling for?
What are the core beliefs that you have that are creating things that you don’t want?
And are you conscious to them?
Let’s get real.
Let’s get raw.
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Sick and tired of settling for so much less than what you know you can have?
Accepting less in your success, your finances, your love, your relationships or your health?
Well STOP making excuses and TAKE the CALL TO ACTION TODAY.
Kendal I was bankrupt when I first met you. I had no idea how I was going to pay you. Working a dead end job, going through a nasty divorce and had lost everything. All I knew was that if I did not have faith right now and stand my ground that life was going to run me over. Thank God I chose this! Your coaching did not just help get me through everything, it transformed my existence. Today I am making three times the income I was back then. I am dating a dynamic woman and cannot imagine life much better. It is all because of your guidance and wisdom. I wish more people understood the true power of a mentor. Thank beautiful! – Timothy Gearst, Dallas Texas
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Could This Be You?
A state of nothing.
Yep that is where I am today.
One could view it as a peaceful place.
There is not a lot happening.
Except for all those crazy ass thoughts.
Those fears and frustrations.
Oh yeah those things that prevented me from even having a good meditation today.
Those things that for some reason I am insisting on carrying around today.
when I first awoke at 7-am today none of this crap was with me. I woke up, felt great and then fell back asleep.
That was the issue.
I feel asleep.
Perhaps this melancholy feeling is coming from some dream that I am not recalling.
Perhaps it is because of the events of my morning.
Maybe it is not even mine.
I have no clue.
All I can share is that I am in a mood.
I am in this mood of melancholy.
Where my brain will not shut up about how I will fail.
How bad of a person I am.
How I should do this or that.
And will not allow me the space to just breathe.
To just be and to have some freaking clarity.
You know as I sit here this afternoon and write this message to you, I also realize that i am bored.
Yes bored and melancholy.
Ooooh… it’s getting better is it not.
Can you feel me love?
Can you feel the lull of my energy.
Can you recognize it within yourself?
What is up with this new year?
I am seeing so many of my clients right now simply getting side tracked.
Not wanting to do their work.
Claiming they have no time.
And I get it!
I really do.
I am feeling it too.
But you know what?
It is still a choice.
Last week I joined a millionaire mastermind group.
I took a stand for myself.
For the life I want to have .
For my family.
For my freedom.
I know that the only way that I can expand into the person that I want to be, to have the relationships that I want to have and to be free in all ways that I desire that I have to be willing to level up my life RIGHT NOW.
I have to be willing to say YES even though I am feeling bored and melancholy.
This was my intimate share Saturday that never made its way live to you.
I spent the day in this state.
I did a a powerful workshop for a beautiful group of souls in this state of being.
I stayed raw, authentic and in my truth,
about this state of being.
And you know what.
It is still slightly lingering.
It is holding on to all that it can.
It is begging for me to keep it alive today by focusing in on yesterday.
Well F-ck That!
Yet this is where we get to make a choice.
Yes you and I,
we can each choose what we want in our lives by deciding RIGHT NOW what we really want.
And all we have to do is FOCUS on that that we desire.
And focus with the intent and feeling that we already have it.
That state of melancholy is nothing more than our soul saying WAKE THE F-CK UP LOVE!!!
You have grown tired of the life you are living and the way that you are living it.
You are tired because it is no longer who you really are.
Sure it may be comfortable to live this life,
but is there passion in it?
Do you feel called?
If you are anything like me,
and I am going to go out a limb and say you must be something like me if you are following me and reading this,
then you need to feel challenged.
You crave the playfulness.
You want to feel your heart beat rise a tad as you lean in a bit further to your AUTHENTIC self.
You want to step in and you want to feel the breeze under your beautiful wings.
But something has changed over the year.
Sure 2018 was powerful.
It had lots of turbulence, chaos and transformation.
It most certainly got you clear on what you no longer vibe with and what you do not want to create in your life.
It got you to see what you do want and has you focused on that.
But something is different.
The lull is here.
In your heart.
In your mind.
In your actions.
And that is no good.
You will get no where in the lull, RIGHT?
No the lull is perfect love.
It is space that is needed for you to clean your internal house up. For you to take a moment to breathe and get things sorted.
The lull is Gods precious gift to you to realign.
And that is what you are doing.
You are being requested to PAUSE.
To know that 2018 was setting you free,
and now all you need do is rest into the lull and have FAITH.
Let God carry you for this next segment of the trail as you get things settled and organized. As you take the rest of the trash out and step back from the PUSH.
You are safe.
You are loved.
You are worthy.
And you can FLY.
Have FAITH baby that those wings you have been building all these years will open and carry you.
And they will.
The way through the melancholy is to LEAP into FAITH.
Here is the action.
You must do.
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
I love a good orgasm.
I crave a good orgasm.
I need so desperately a good orgasm.
How about you?
Lately I have been challenged though with orgasm.
And I am noticing that it is increasingly becoming more and more difficult for me to drop down and open up to ORGASM.
I find myself with my lover,
attempting to open up,
attempting to receive,
attempting to lean more in to all that he is offering me.
I know that my pleasure increases his pleasure.
I know that it is not his responsibility to get me to orgasm.
The reality is that ONLY I can give myself an orgasm.
I do not say this as to say that only I can “rub one out.”
No I mean that only I can give myself an orgasm by allowing it to happen.
So why am I preventing myself from this pleasure?
Why am I limiting my experience?
An Issue with Worthiness.
An Issue with Trust.
An Issue with Self- Love and thus love in itself and even toward my partner.
Here is the reality of why one does not open to ORGASM.
Instead I find myself,
laying there closed off in frustration.
I find myself craving more,
but not asking for what I need or want in the moment.
I find myself not speaking about it in general.
I find myself a prisoner in my mind during sex.
Disconnected from my body,
disconnected from my sex.
Instead of spreading my whole being more open,
Instead of saying, “Hey, I need this touch… or this position.. or this time…this kiss.” I say nothing and go into analyzation of the mechanics of what is happening, of what is wrong with me, of a technique or I just find myself drifting off into some other place that is non sexy in my mind and getting lost there until a nerve is teased and brings me back to my body for a second.
Especially because my partner is being present, loving, supportive, taking his time and really applying himself to my pleasure.
I see all of his greatness.
I just cannot feel it.
And this reality has NOTHING to do with him,
and everything to do with me.
So here I sit after a ton of good sexing,
with female blue balls. ( Yes that is a thing, us ladies get blue balls just like men. And we get bitchy as hell from it.)
I sit here after a bunch of good sexing,
frustrated, throbbing, achy, moody, disappointed in myself, tired and in fear.
Fear of sharing my truth.
Fear of what is going on with me inside my heart and mind.
I know my body is fine, my heart and mind though are struggling to open back up to love and connection and feel overwhelmed from all the stresses of life.
Fear of what my lover may think or feel if I share my truth.
With all of that shared, I KNOW the path I must take.
And if you are challenged with finding your ORGASM as well,
if you are experiencing a moment like what I am,
where you are having good sex,
with a good partner,
and you are enjoying the sex,
you just are NOT GETTING THERE.
You just DO NOT FEEL the release.
But it is still good.
Then listen up!
Take it from someone who has been educating and coaching on SEX and ORGASM for the last decade and can be multi- orgasmic.
If you are feeling non-orgasmic and wonder will I ever get through this?
If you are questioning what is wrong with me?
You can get through it.
You can access your “O”
You can feel again.
The steps to pleasure are not about a better stroke.
Are not about deeper penetration.
Are not about more sex.
What you have to do is simple but not easy.
OPEN UP YOUR HEART.
GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD.
Stop focusing on the mechanics of sex.
Sex for us women is so very much more than mechanics.
We will NEVER access true orgasm if we are just focusing in on our genitals and the mechanics.
ORGASM is not about the “in and out”
It is about the CONNECTION.
First to self.
Then to partner.
It is a meditation.
It requires us to let go of our fears, our concerns,
our thoughts about everything else.
And JUST BECOME ONE
with our PUSSY.
As we open our hearts and soul in our sex,
we open our pussy’s ability to feel more,
to experience more.
This WILL REQUIRE our love of self,
and our understanding that we are WORTHY of pleasure and of LOVE.
We must support our ORGASM by asking for what we need.
By guiding in love our partners hands, mouths, cocks and attention.
We cannot just LAY THERE.
If you craving ORGASM the way that I am, then you have to COMMIT to CLAIMING IT.
You have to ASK for IT.
Therefore it is high time BABY,
that you speak up.
Show if you have too.
Try new things.
Stop beating yourself up for not having an ORGASM.
For feeling like a shitting partner, because you cannot achieve what you and your partner both want for you,
but instead OPEN to it.
IT IS TIME YOU LOVE YOURSELF.
KNOW YOU ARE WORTH IT.
WORTH IT ALL!
No one else can do this for you.
No one else can get you to open up.
And here is just one more reality ladies,
When you finally open to the “O” between your legs,
and it comes from your core, not the mechanics of sex.
You will be on the path to EMBRACING YOUR LIFE “O”
You will start to tap into ALL OF YOUR beautiful abundance.
You will STEP INTO YOUR POWER.
She awaits you.
She is you.
“The Goddess between my legs, makes mouths water.” – Rupi Kaur
May your rivers flow endlessly.
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
It’s all a f-cking head game!
Have you noticed?
Have you come to this conclusion?
I sure the f-ck have.
Here i sit on this sunny Dallas afternoon,
listening to music on the patio of some little cafe eating artichoke dip, having a glass of chardonnay.
The day is beautiful.
I have been blessed with amazing client appointments today.
Blessed with more support than I feel worthy of from family, friends and my lover.
I have been allowed and HAVE allowed
myself to simple just drop the effing reigns
of my life, the last month.
It feels like a lifetime has past.
I have fear.
I have doubt.
I have shame.
In writing this very musing to you.
Yet I know IT IS TIME.
I hear the call of my soul
Saying that I MUST.
I must take the step.
I must take the breath.
I must LET THE F-CK GO.
So very much has taken place the last month.
My world once again,
Has been shaken, rocked and flipped every which way.
Fear has penetrated my inner being on many days.
Causing me to hold myself back.
Back from being a f-ck yes to myself.
Back from doing what i know.
Back from being vulnerable and just revealing myself.
Back from CLAIMING my life.
Lord hold my hand and carry me sweet Jesus through this year.
A year that i KNOW i must find gratitude for.
A year so full of lessons.
A year from this VERY mortal human place I reside in at this moment has been perhaps the best and worst year of my existence.
I have shared some with you on the drama and trauma.
But this is a rabbit hole that keeps going.
I find myself questioning everything.
Trusting not anything.
I feel lost most days.
YET in the same breath i have great PEACE and a strange CERTAINTY.
How can i be both?
This is where it is folks.
Its all a f-cking mind game.
What do I mean by that?
I mean everyday.
Every f-cking day we make choices.
We choose if we let all the garbage of our lives suffocate us or if we plant our feet in the sunshine and sand and connect deeper to our SOUL MESSAGE.
We all have 10,000 reasons
As to why the eff we allow ourselves to be destracted.
Distracted from what really matters.
And sure those crazy, emotional, emergency items that take up our days bang on our mind and hearts.
Sounding off like they should be primary focus.
But I ask you this.
Is that true?
For me at least,
When I really hone in on my TRUTH
I know the reality is that I am AVOIDING
MY Mother F-cking Calling.
I know that i am blocking my desires.
I know that I am resisting my GREATNESS.
I am doing this by letting myself get caught up in everything else.
By putting my attention on the things I don’t desire to manifest and claiming I have no choice.
I say I am tired.
I say I am out of my flow.
I say I am distracted.
Thats all BULLSHIT.
The reality is that I hit a new level of ME.
AND it scared the shit out of me.
How can I.
Little ol’ me.
Shine that bright.
Say that much.
Smile through the storm.
Laugh and orgasm,
While chaos runs around disrupting the world.
Wanting to disrupt mine.
Like a spoiled little 3 year old
Throwing its tantrum.
Who am I?
I need to just drop out of this light.
And be NORMAL.
Do what is expected.
And just give in.
Well its been a month of that shit.
I FELL F-CKING HARD.
And I FORGIVE myself for falling.
Now is the moment.
Take my hand
Lets fly together.
You got your shit.
I got mine.
Sure it stinks.
But it does not have to hold us back.
It does not have to be us.
Its all a f-cking mind game after all.
And I am making my mind up to CLAIM MY LIFE.
Rock it out and realize there is a reason for everything.
So LET IT GO.
Stop Existing & Start Living
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