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Life, Death and Authentically Being You.

Life, Death and Being Authentically YOU.
 
The last two weeks of my life have been a roller coaster of life changes. Some have a direct impact on my world, some not so much but do because they effect my children or my extended family.
 
Two weeks ago my eldest daughter gave birth to her little boy.
 
Last week, my youngest two son’s grandfather passed away.
 
And today,
Today I sit and desire nothing more than to just continue being authentically me.
 
I look at the changes, the life, the death and I know it is all beautiful. But there is this sense that I get that I am expected to be more emotional about things then what I really am. As though I am not putting on a grand enough show for my world.
 
Silly as that may sound, it does come in to me from outside sources and these little obnoxious voices that sound off in my head here and there that want me to focus on things that really have no significant impact on my life joy or happiness or fear for that matter.
 
Since the birth of my grandson two weeks ago I have been hit with the question, ” How does it feel to be old enough to be a grandma?”
 
And “Wow! Top of the totem pole. Enjoy him while you have the energy.”
 
It is like because I am a grandmother now,
even though there is the blessing of this sweet baby in my life that society believes that life is all down hill when this milestone happens. That you are almost around the corner from the grave.
 
And then,
last week my kids grandfather passes away unexpectedly from heart failure.
 
The thing society worries about.
DEATH.
Croaking.
 
And as a grandparent one must add this fear to the daily worry list I assume….
 
I think NOT!
 
But if we did not fear death enough as it is,
such events as a birth and then a death can bounce it around a tad more than normal.
 
It is my opinion that the reason we fear death so much is because we do not believe in who we really are. We give lip service to this thing called SOUL or SPIRIT and to the desire to believe in something greater than ourselves such as source, divine or God. But when we really get into it,
when we are faced with it, we question our belief and we find ourselves in a negative vibe of “hope.”
 
Now many believe that hope is a positive.
I not so much so.
 
To me hope is a negative word,
with negative energy attachments.
It is disempowering.
 
Just feel these statement-
 
” I hope I get a new job.”
” I hope I overcome this illness.”
” I hope she graduates school.”
“I hope nothing bad has happened.”
 
verses
 
“I know that the perfect job for me is around the corner.”
“I know I just need to support my body and take some time for me.”
“I know she is working hard to achieve her goals.”
“I know that things always work out for everyone’s highest and best good.”
 
Which side of the fence feels better to you?
Which side feels stronger?
More powerful?
More like it is focusing good vibes toward something vs. negative vibes?
 
 
We do this in so many ways.
Bring ourselves down.
Bring others down ( often without realizing the power of our words)
and focusing in on the negative all the while BELIEVING we are giving our best wishes or highest vibrational thoughts and focus.
 
But it ain’t true.
 
If we really believed we had a SOUL.
If we really believed that there was a God or something greater than self and it has a plan,
then we would only desire to live our life to the fullest and that has nothing to do with living in fear of death.
 
Fearing death disables us from being present in our life.
It has us act from a place of scarcity.
A place of disembodiment.
We tap out and try and hide from life.
All in the pursuit to live longer.
To not feel pain.
To not suffer.
To not have bad things happen.
 
But this is sheer craziness.
These suppose bad things are here to help us clarify what we want in life and from life.
 
These “bad” things help us discover who we are, want to be and they are blessings.
 
Not all blessings come in pretty little boxes.
Not all are sweet and sugar topped.
 
Without the contrast we never truly authentically get a chance to meet who we are.
 
Avoiding the contrast is for the weak.
It is for those who believe that they can somehow outsmart death.
They think that death is an ending.
When what if….
Croaking just was another step on our life path for our soul?
 
But hoping for survival in our current state of experience is silly.
What one can do,
is COMMIT to LIVING presently.
To loving this moment.
To expanding into their fullest potential and giving this amazing world their VERY BEST.
 
You will never achieve that,
living in FEAR.
You will never have that presence if you are trying to avoid death.
But you will miss out on all your BLESSINGS.
No matter how you perceive them.
 
And the even worse part is that you will never taste the raptures of your AUTHENTIC SELF.
 
You are beautiful.
You are powerful.
You are amazing.
You have so much to give this world.
 
Don’t let fear and worry of what you cannot avoid,
what you have no control over hide your light any longer love.
 
It is time for you to step up.
Claim Your Life.
And Stop Existing & Start Living
 
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Are you ready to commit to your SOUL?
Desiring something more in your life?
 
If you are someone who looks in the mirror every day and knows that you have so much more to offer this world, but feels stuck in how to go about revealing it, then perhaps we should speak.
 
If you feel a call in your gut and you know you need to just get the tools and find the support to step the eff up in your life once and for all and let your light shine in…
relationship.
work.
purpose.
 
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Orgasmic Womb-man Hood

Pregnant Mother Nature 017

“When I gave birth, that was the first time I truly let go and surrendered. And it taught me how amazing that feels. Giving birth made me realize the power of being a woman. I have so much more substance in my life.” – Beyonce

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Orgasmic Womb-man Hood one of the most divine blessing that the feminine has been bestowed and yet we have been programmed to believe that these deeply spiritual and even orgasmic events in our lives are horribly painful and that we should not surrender ourselves to them but instead block these precious orgasmic moments of life transformation with anesthesia or short-circuit the whole event and have a C-section. This naked musing is posing the question to all women and men who dare to consider another side to the Miracle of Life. And in the questioning of the possibility of orgasmic birth we may also discover a different take on pain and suffering in our lives in general.

In pain you will give birth to children so claims the Holy Bible. But does that make it so? According to many for hundreds of years, yes it does. The bible said and therefore it is. But then why can over 21% of women surveyed say that they actually experienced orgasm during birth?

Being a mother, myself and having experienced labor five times and soon to be six, I can say that suffering and pain are not always there. At least not in the way that we perceive them and truthfully the lesson here is just that. Our expectations change the way pain is perceived.

Pregnant Mother Nature 019When we look at the orgasmic gift of birth we will discover that the same organs that are stimulated during sexual orgasm are also being stimulated during labor. As Christane Northrup, M.D. author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom has said, “The molecules of nature’s ecstasy are released in high quantities during labor.” Therefore it is simply science that a woman can have an orgasm during child birth and many women today are looking at possible ways to increase their chances of doing just this. I am one of them!

In my previous labors I did indeed feel pain, however I never experienced the sort of trauma that Hollywood would have us believe it is. Unfortunately for many women that I know they did not have the same more pleasurable experiences that I had. There is a lot that goes into it though and much like in other areas of life when we expect to experience pain we tense our muscles and our stress levels go up, causing our pain to increase.  But what if we actually learned how to surrender to this state of human experience?

What if we actually found romance and a sensual aspect to the painful events that all human beings must and do live through? What if instead of dreading pain and KNOWING that we were going to suffer, we decided to lose our fear and inhabitations and move toward the pain?

On the other side of ALL pain in our human experience is human ecstasy.  But we can only experience these points of high yummienessPregnant Mother Nature 078 if we are willing to surrender fully into it and transform the pain into sensational life energy.  When we surrender and give permission to those we are with to also surrender with us into our humanness we open the doorway to Orgasm. Weather it is in laboring a baby, a business, a divorce, or something else we step into our manifestional vortex of transformation through the power of surrender.

The SAME surrender needed to experience ORGASM!

A key note to this process that is among one of the most difficult for our society today, is to NOT medicate, mask, block or numb the pain of experience. In today’s world we are constantly being fed someway to “prevent” or “stop” painful events. We are told that we should want the highs in life but not the low’s and in order to achieve this we can pop a pill, have a drink, veg out to our favorite numbing event, or discharge our stress energy through unconscious sex or over indulging in some other way. All of these “anesthesia of physical experience” do nothing more than cause harm. They do not provide more highs and less low’s, they bring us to ground NUMB.

But when we look out into this world what do we see?

Zombies.

Pregnant Mother Nature 051Our world is a waste land of human zombies. We are plagued by a sexually repressed culture.  One where more and more people are turning inward and shutting down. Depression, anxiety, sexual issues, mental illness, anger, fatigue, and dis-ease are all at an all time high. More and more cases of people suffering from being bipolar, ADD, ADHD, and stress induced illnesses are being reported.  Sexual crimes and abuse in many fashions are also growing at phenomenal rates. This is what “Lost” looks like. This is what “numb” looks like.

Most people never tap into and harness their greatest resources: their “procreative” life force energy which can give increased energy, mental clarity, creativity and fulfillment in our lives. It is this same energy that a woman can tap into during labor and transform her pain into Orgasm. It is this divine energy that can catapult our world and heal us at levels that traditional medicine and therapy cannot even perceive. Rapidly too!

So how do more women experience Orgasmic Womb-man hood?

How do more people in general embrace this powerful liberating force and stop the insanity of being a zombie?

Pregnant Mother Nature 066

We have to learn how to surrender in grace not fear to ourselves and our intimate relationships first. Followed up with embracing the fact that we HAVE NOT been taught how to love, sex or labor in life, but that there are people who can help. We have to be willing to step into those dark spaces of our subconscious and allow ourselves to really be seen, heard and felt. And we MUST recognize that how learning to harness our sexual potential is a Master Key to harnessing our life potential. Just as with the final contractions in labor we know that our sweet innocent angel will soon be in our arms, we also must know that with the final contractions of our sexual orgasm WE will soon be in the arms of our dream life.

Everything is interconnected and there is nothing that has not come from mind.

Our Divine Power to Create like the Creator is housed withing Our Wombs and in the embrace of Orgasm.

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Create the life you desire! Live Orgasmicaly today and every moment and transform those rough, edgy spots that could be perceived as pain and suffering into surrender so that you can bask in Orgasmic Bliss. 

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Pleasure Psychotherapy

I met a pleasure based psychotherapist recently. When Janov’s Primal Therapy came along I seem to recall that he said that a therapist was a dealer in pain. So is therapy about pleasure or pain and trauma?

Nobody would go to a therapist to talk about how happy they were or what a great childhood they had; but it is one of the more interesting questions in therapy the extent to which we have to go in to past pain and trauma to clear it out. In our culture we have the “no pain, no gain” school of development. A deeply Puritan culture like the British is very suspicious of happiness. I can lead straight in to the arms of The Devil. In most therapies, both humanistic and analytic happiness could well be covering something up; even a manic defence against deep sadness. Of course this can be true but it is also true that many defences, particularly somatic ones, tend to block access to all deep emotions; pain as well as joy.  This is simply because all strong emotions and body sensations are close together in their emotional anatomy and neurology. On a fairground roller-coaster the riders play with the edge between fear and excitement; screaming with fear as the car descends and then cuing up for another go! A father playing with a young child may throw them up in the air and catch them giving squeals of joy, excitement, fear overcome by return to safety. Deep sobbing and deep belly laughter are quite similar to observe from the outside. In the intense autonomic activation of orgasm, pleasure and crying can come together. Those in to BDSM are experts on the edge between pleasure and pain and how both can lead to altered states of consciousness.

Many therapies are very interested in trauma; particularly if that term is extended from single incident events such as an accident, or act of abuse or death of someone to include developmental trauma such as having a depressed mother when there would be many occasions when the required empathic attunement and care-giving weren’t there. In the past going into the pain was seen as the only way. Now with modern energy psychology methods such as AIT(www.aitherapy.org) that I practice this is known not to be necessary. Just naming the trauma and finding the location in the body is often enough to clear it.

So as we block pleasure and pain, when a client comes in for a session reporting that they feel good. Unless I am very suspicious of this, I will only want to move feeling good to feeling fantastic. There has been more attention recently to positive psychology and to the concept of Flow,  (from Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi);  a state of being where we are not divided and distracted but fully engaged in life at that moment.

So while I will try as a therapist to stay fairly divided in my attention between pain and pleasure. I have a growing sense that working with pleasure and how to expand it and deepen it within our bodies and our neurology is a powerful way forward. This forms a large part of my book Tantric Psychotherapy that I am working on at the moment (see www.tantricpsychotherapy.com )

Martin is London based psychotherapist 

READ More from Martin HERE

BIO:

I have worked for nearly 30 years a psychotherapist and counsellor and supervisor. In private practice and in training courses, for a university and now for the police.

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The Egg

~ You would think that one would stop being amazed at the universal energies and how they manifest in our life, yet I swear, the smallest of things still make me smile in great awe of a child on Christmas morning. The other night I was meeting at Starbucks with an incredibly enlightened and gifted man. As we sat there I watched the sparkle of “the light energy” (god energy) dance in his eyes while we shared our tales of life and our growth. At one point he distanced his presence, focused on his phone, tapped a few keys, asked me what email he should send a story to and made it happen. Today, after a day of following the signs , breathing in the direction of 2012 and realizing I need a sail boat for the year of the water dragon (so that I can fully grasp my own personal exploration), I found a time to read what he had sent. Below is a copy of the story.

My amazement comes from the depth of connection I felt as I read the final few lines. Why the connection? It threw me back to being a child of 4 years or so sitting on the toilet in my family home bathroom that was being renovated. LOL Funny thing, but as a small child I found great guidance coming from the conversations I would have with my “imaginary friend” who always shared stories and what seemed as wisdom to me while I took care of my business. The ending of this story The Egg, was one such tale that was a running theme coming from my “Imaginary friend,” Seth.

I hope you enjoy the tale and look forward to hearing your feedback and thoughts/opinions on it.  Namaste’ ~

 

The Egg

By: Andy Weir

“Wildy surreal landscape by Vladimir Kush. “

 

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothingparticularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and twochildren. It was a painless death. The EMTs triedtheir best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered youwere better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked.“Where am I?”

“You died,” I said,matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

“There was a… a truck and it wasskidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it.Everyone dies,” I said.

You looked around. There wasnothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this theafterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” Isaid. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s goodstuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination.To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly awoman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacherthan the almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll befine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t havetime to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will besecretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s anyconsolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what happensnow? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll bereincarnated.”

“Ah,” you said. “So the Hinduswere right,”

“All religions are right in theirown way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

You followed along as we strodethrough the void. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” I said.“It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” Youasked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all myexperiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have withinyou all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’tremember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you bythe shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than youcan possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what youare. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot orcold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring itback out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

“You’ve been in a human for thelast 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of yourimmense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d startremembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”

“How many times have I beenreincarnated, then?”

“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in tolots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinesepeasant girl in 540 AD.”

“Wait, what?” You stammered.“You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time,as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I comefrom.”

“Where you come from?” You said.

“Oh sure,” I explained “I comefrom somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’llwant to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh,” you said, a little let down.“But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could haveinteracted with myself at some point.”

“Sure. Happens all the time. Andwith both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’shappening.”

“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously?You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

“Well it’s a reasonable question,”you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. “Themeaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”

“You mean mankind? You want us tomature?”

“No, just you. I made this wholeuniverse for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a largerand greater intellect.”

“Just me? What about everyone else?”

“There is no one else,” I said.“In this universe, there’s just you and me.”

You stared blankly at me. “But allthe people on earth…”

“All you. Different incarnationsof you.”

“Wait. I’m everyone!?”

“Now you’re getting it,” I said,with a congratulatory slap on the back.

“I’m every human being who everlived?”

“Or who will ever live, yes.”

“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

“And you’re John Wilkes Booth,too,” I added.

“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.

“And you’re the millions hekilled.”

“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followedhim.”

You fell silent.

“Every time you victimizedsomeone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’vedone, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced byany human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

You thought for a long time.

“Why?” You asked me. “Why do allthis?”

“Because someday, you will becomelike me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa,” you said, incredulous.“You mean I’m a god?”

“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus.You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time,you will have grown enough to be born.”

“So the whole universe,” you said,“it’s just…”

“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’stime for you to move on to your next life.”

And I sent you on your way.