I am looking for a girlfriend experience…
I can’t help it, men wake up with cum on the brain…
It’s your fault, you are so hot, I just cannot control myself…
You teach tantra, so that means that you will have sex with me…
I want to sex you…
So what do you think? (insert below average unsolicited dick pic here)
And so many other statements that we coaches, educators, tantra teachers and WOMEN GET DAILY.
And I have left some of the more raunchy ones off of this list.
If I shared what gets stated and shown to me frequently via Facebook messenger and other lines of social media and randomly to my email or phone I would get kicked off of Facebook. Funny little note here, if I report someone on Facebook for sexual harassment or aggressive statements or out of standard pictures I get to keep the pictures and messages, it is left up to me to dispose of them. But if I say one word that someone scrolling through see’s and is upset about then my posting is trashed and I am booted for three days…FAIR????🤔
My rant here is because I want to bring to light the ill ideas that so many have of women in general.
How so many (sorry men, but it is effing true) men think it okay, normal, ACCEPTABLE and even appreciated to message and make the comments that they do to random women they do not know or even ones that they do know.
The above leading statement, “I am looking for a girlfriend experience.” was recently messaged to me here on Facebook from an old client of mine who after yesterdays communications has been blocked and is on the cusp of having a restraining order served if he does not simmer his ass down.
YES! He took it that far.
It is hard to rattle me.
It is difficult to get to me with the distasteful pictures and comments.
I typically just delete after a good laugh. 🤣🤣🤣
With no message back.
Every now then when I am hormonal or just in a bitchy mood and had enough of the shenanigans that these pervs who seem to be dressed up as adult men send out,
on these days,
these days I get a little sarcastic.
And fire back something. 📣🤣🤦♀️
I consider it tossing my ego some breadcrumbs.
As I do so much work to keep light on my ego and stay aware of where it is and how it is trying to control me.
But then this shiz 💩happens.
An old client solicits me for sex.
Assuming it is okay.
Assuming that I would I guess be excited at his proud offer.
And then to his dismay, I say – NO! 😱
Sorry sir, I don’t do that.
I don’t sleep with my clients.
I don’t do sexual things with my clients.
If you want to do a coaching appointment over dinner, yes we can .
If you want and extended coaching session, yes we can do that too.
You want me to listen and give you connection that way, yes we can do that too.
You want a hug. – yes I will give you a hug if you need it.
Oh wait, you want me to come to your hotel room and stay the effing night????? ( scratching my head as I wonder where he got this idea from🤔)
Ummmmm…. let me see if that is in my pay grade? or desire grade?
And yet so many men out there think that we women will be ecstatic to just have a guy message and say, ” I wanna f-ck you.” or ” I love you. So lets have sex. Let me touch you here and there. Do this and that to you. I can show you want a real man is like.”
And we women are to go weak at the knees I guess.
And get wet, and be like “Oh my God, my soulmate has arrived! YES. YES. YES. Please, take me. Let me bend over for this two pump chump that I have been dreaming of.”
Oh I know what will make it better.
This chick she is hot and she teaches on sex.
I will offer to pay her for the two pumps.
That will be appealing.
That will seal the deal.
And these same men will proclaim themselves Conscious Men.
Emotionally Mature Men.
Understanding Women Men.
Of which none really apply.
I am a woman who loves men.
I love supporting men.
I love working with men.
I love seeing men become better men.
Having the love, the relationships, the sex and abundance that they want.
But with someone that is not me.
Unless you are my boyfriend. My lover.
Which FYI is NOT an easy place to get.
Women can be easy for sure.
Some more than others.
And this has a lot to do with a lot of things.
But most women who love themselves, respect themselves and KNOW WHAT THEY WANT.
Will not bed easy.
Or with just anyone.
And for certain not with these FOOLS!
Sorry wantabe gents, I only provide a girlfriend experience to my boyfriend.
And he is my boyfriend because he is at least wise enough to not make these stupid assumptions.
SO this rant, is for all you ladies out there.
Single or taken.
No matter your relationship status,
no matter your body type,
no matter your background,
or ethnic background.
I know we all get this SHIZ consistently and it sucks.
So the next time a dude sends you a unsolicited dick pic and says what do you think baby?
Simply say, ” I think you should not be sending me child pornography and I am reporting this.”
Guys, you can call me whatever name you want right now, and if you are calling me names and taking offense then you might be one of these dudes I am speaking of.
In Jeff Foxworthy terms, “Here’s Your Sign!”
This may be a controversial post…
This may have some anger and frustration attached,
and I am NOT claiming that all men are this way ( thank goodness you are not or we women would be very upset and lonely) What I am saying is that –
💩💩💩THIS SHIZ IS NOT OKAY!!!💩💩💩
Guy’s you have got to realize that if all you think you have to offer is that little picture and some fowl words, some begging and then some anger when you get NOTHING but crickets or go the eff away….
That YOU have got some inner work to do.
You have got to learn some things about women and life.
We don’t owe you anything, certainly not our sex.
Maybe a blocking on social media… but our thanks and appreciation for this crap is not owed.
You want to have a chance with a women,
appeal to her mind and heart.
Women DO NOT operate like men.
Your pictures will not captivate us and make us want you.
And we typically don’t let sex rule our lives.
Or our actions.
And if you really want a woman,
then you need to F-CKING EARN HER!
Become a man.
We are not babysitters.
We are not wanting the immaturity,
Your sexual comments are NOT A TURN ON.
I sure as eff hope so.
But sadly the men who need to read this,
And to the rest of you men out there,
who this does not apply too.
Keep doing you!
The world needs more GOOD MEN.
Okay rant over.
Stop Existing ( And settling for so little) & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
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You dishonor who I am.
You dishonor my life.
You dishonor the love I have felt.
You dishonor my choices.
You even dishonor yourself.
And for what?
To proclaim that you are better than,
That you know,
you are more of a man.
You proudly stand before me,
claiming your love.
Never stopping to realize that I have felt a greater love then you can even fathom.
You will never know the love that has captivated my heart,
my soul and carried me into the heavens.
You will never know of it,
or understand it because you refuse to accept that I have ever even been loved.
In your proclamations of how you can show me love.
You can reveal to me how a woman is to be cared for.
What “real dating, courting” is about.
That you, yes you are the gentlemen that knows this better than any other who has ever crossed my path.
As you stand there,
with that glimmer in your eye’s,
with that smirk on your face,
with that smugness in your body,
and you vocalize how it should be.
And how you aim to show me.
You do nothing more than dishonor me.
You state with each word of disbelief,
a declaring that I have never felt anything worth anything,
that I am naive,
and have poor taste in men.
If this is true,
if you truly believe that no man has ever really loved me.
If you really believe that,
then why should I believe that you are any better?
And realize that we all have fears around love and being lovable,
so when you make such assumptions,
in an essence you support this fear that I am just that.
So if I have felt this deep.
If I have opened up in vulnerability to this level,
surrendered my very soul over to another,
smelled of this loves sweetness and been blessed to inhale the intoxicating scent of roses in my love making.
But none of it is true…
Then what possibly could you offer me sir?
You say I was nothing more than a pretty piece on his arm.
You say he wanted me only for my sex.
You say that he had never an intent of going the distance.
You say that he never brought true life experience to me.
You say that he never romanced me properly,
dated me properly.
You say a lot for man that has no clue.
That is blind.
That is making a lot of judgments based on only your own hopes that this is such.
But I will tell you this sir.
I will tell you that you have not a clue.
And because you come at me in such dishonor,
preaching of your love,
trying to kill what I hold dear.
Realize that you will NEVER succeed at killing off this love.
You will never destroy my heart.
your desire to control,
will never compare to that which I hold dear.
I welcome your childish attempts.
They do nothing but strengthen what has always been.
And so I say this loud and true,
please hear me now blind sir,
you have not a chance at ever captivating this heart of mine.
You refuse to listen.
You refuse to truly feel me.
You refuse to accept that in order to come into my heart that you will have to top this love,
and trying to destroy,
or make light of what my soul has felt,
is not the way to penetrate my heart.
But I do assure you,
it is the way out of my life.
You dishonor me with your fear.
You dishonor me with your desire to make me small.
You dishonor me with your hatred of my love.
And so we say goodbye.
I share this intimacy from my heart and soul today to all of you gentlemen and women alike who find a need to discredit someone’s past relationships.
No matter your relationship with someone,
but for sure if you have romantic interest in them,
please take heed to this poem here.
Never try to captivate their heart by attempting to destroy a past love.
This only show’s your weakness.
Instead listen to the sweetness that that love has brought to them,
allow yourself to hear,
learn what another has done and what your lover wants more of.
Do not be foolish enough to believe that because this love they speak of is not present in the here and now,
that it is any less than potentially the love of this person’s life.
Not all love is meant to be held for a life time.
But all love does expand us and transform us.
Never make judgments on another’s heart.
You only weaken or destroy your place in theirs.
Instead be –
And cherish this moment with them.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
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You claim that you want a HIGH VIBE woman.
You claim that you want a woman that is confident, turned on, knows who she is, fun, loyal, no drama, non-manipulative, loves the things that a good life has to offer. Know’s her worth.
Is a Queen.
But your approach is that of a silly horny 16 year old boy who has not a clue about women, sex, relationship or life at all.
You think that by asking us to spread our legs for you,
or telling us that you know how to use your tongue,
That you will access this connection,
this love relationship with a HIGH VIBE woman.
You think that saying,
“Hi Babe,” or “You are sexy.”
That we will puddle in our panties over your words,
and drop what we are doing for your silly advances.
You think that deep inquiry,
the stuff that does attract a HIGH VIBE woman’s energy to start is about inquiring about things that you can easily find out by using that thing you seem to be forgetting about…
Yes the BIG Head.
And instead you think that asking,
“Are you married?”
“Are you single?”
“How old are you?”
“Where do you live?
“What do you do?
When you have access to this information and more at your fingertips,
and it only makes us irritated because you have no respect of our time,
and show’s that you have not really explored more than a pretty picture’s worth of us,
that this would make us swoon?
You want a HIGH VIBE woman?
Do you really?
You want that woman,
that’s fruits taste so wonderful
Her mystery will stir you for a lifetime.
Her smile will ignite your soul till the sun burns out.
Her smell will haunt you a thousand lifetimes.
Her mind will bewilder you and cause you to want to know more.
You claim you want that woman.
That woman that MAKES YOU WANT:
to conquer the world.
To live your purpose.
to make her proud.
To make her smile.
And for YOU TO BE A BETTER MAN.
Is it that woman that you search for?
Well sweet man…
Let me share this with you…
here and now.
You Cannot Handle this HIGH VIBE woman.
You may want her,
but your VIEW is not of her.
You belittle her when you treat her like a child.
Thinking she will dance for you,
just because you show her attention.
You think that you can grab her heart,
by speaking about her nipples or butt.
You think that it is endearing and special ,
that you are unique in some fashion,
to open her door and demand that she speak to you,
when all you do is stumble in with words that mean nothing.
You think that by saying “Hi”
that she owes you something.
Or should take the time,
to get to know yet another random bloke ( common man),
who has not a clue who he,
You are but a boy.
Trying to be a man.
Wanting to have a woman.
But not understanding.
A HIGH VIBE woman,
Bow to your desires of her,
she will never swoon over your words,
she will never be so easily lead,
by some simple little compliments,
A HIGH VIBE woman,
does not need you.
She is complete in herself.
She does not need your attention,
and she most certainly does not need your advances.
She is not interested.
Not in such a feet,
as you may think it is to say hi to her.
A HIGH VIBE woman,
will not drop her life for you,
because you bought her a Louis Vuitton handbag,
or want to take her around the world.
A HIGH VIBE woman,
will ONLY pay attention.
To a Conscious Mature Man.
A Man who KNOWS who he is.
Is on purpose.
Is centered in himself.
A man who does not need to be babysat with his emotions,
his time or energy.
A man who can stand in who he is while holding the space required for her to dance for him,
by the music of her choice.
A HIGH VIBE woman,
only desires a HIGH VIBE man.
with your advances,
and school boy tricks,
are no where near this man.
So please do us each a favor,
and realize where you are,
and that is not in our garden,
where we can share anything.
If you truly want that HIGH VIBE woman.
As you claim that you do.
Then LISTEN here sweet man,
and listen close.
You must dig deep.
And first discover who you are.
Find your purpose outside of your groin.
Fall in love with the man you can be,
get ignited in life,
and know your path.
Stand firm in who you are,
comfortable in your own flesh.
Be confident not cocky.
Be compassionate not sarcastic.
Be intelligent not irritating.
Be playful not stupid.
Be turned on to life not to just her lady lumps.
Be emotionally mature not an emotional drama queen.
Be responsible for your self not responsible for everyone else.
Be a Hero not a victim.
And above all else…
Be PRESENT in the Now.
Not in what you may want of tomorrow or fear from yesterday.
We do not want your sob stories,
we do not care about how you have been wronged.
What a HIGH VIBE woman desires,
is a HIGH VIBE man Who IS ON PURPOSE and IN LOVE with HIS LIFE.
and our fruit is yours to pick.
Don’t let the gate to our garden hit you too hard.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
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“I want a man who is faithful.
I want a man who is dependable.
A man who is kind.
Who loves my children.
And is strong in integrity.
I want a man who is confident.
I want a man who is passionate.
A man who makes me laugh.
And generous with his time,his resources, his love.
I want a man that listens, that I can tell anything too.
A man that is romantic.
Good in bed.
A man that will help around the house and can cook.
I want a man who has a purpose and is driven.
Is financially stable.
I want a man who is tall.
I want a man with a handsome face.
I want man who cares for his body.
Is muscular and makes me feel safe.
I want a man who has a good sense of style.
I want a man who loves the outdoors.
But also loves fine dining and has good etiquette.
I want a man who loves adventure.
Who wants and can travel the world with me.
I want a man that has freedom.
I want a man who will treat me like his queen.
I want a man who respects me.
I want a man who does not want to control me.
I want a man who is spiritually sound.
And I want it ALL from YOU!”
Read that list ladies and gents.
I could write it about what men want as well.
It’s hard to read that list and believe that one person could fulfill all of those desires.
It’s hard to believe because no one person can.
Sure we can fulfill some of those all of the time,
and other’s of those some of the time,
but can one person ever fulfill all of those all of the time?
And should it be put on someone to do such a thing?
A hefty list of expectations I do say.
And it’s my list.
And my list has about thirty more very specific things on it as well.
And what I am looking for at the end of my list is more important than any of the specific things on it.
And that is alignment.
I want a man who is aligned to his purpose.
I want a man that is SOUL ALIGNED.
What this desire will give is all of the above and then some, but in the perfect harmony that is right for him and for myself.
Perfect for the moment.
I also, do not expect for a man to have everything on my list.
There are things that I am willing to look at,
to not need because they are not high priorities.
And then there are the things that are CRUCIAL.
And how do I know that these things are crucial?
Because I am like Goldilocks in dating.
I have come to realize that dating is about figuring out what you like,
what you don’t like,
what is cool,
what is not cool,
what aligns to you or not.
Dating is about sampling everything you can at the buffet and figuring out what has that more flavor and what makes you want to puke.
The biggest challenge in dating is that it takes time and energy.
It requires patients.
It requires one getting to know yourself.
And getting right with who you are first, before trying to find someone else to fill in your gaps for you.
Dating offers you the ability to meet yourself in so many ways.
I f-cking LOVE dating!
And maybe that is why I am so good at it.
And why I have no issue finding incredible men of all types with a flip of my hair it seems.
It’s true though.
I am often shocked at how many people have difficulty with dating.
And often after speaking to them about it,
the basis of their issues is that they don’t really like people or they don’t really love themselves.
Often some combination of the two.
How are you to ever meet someone worth while,
someone that has anything you want from your list,
if you hate people.
All you will ever discover is characteristics that you hate.
Because that is what you are focused on.
Or if you don’t have self-esteem or love of self,
then how will you ever meet someone who is confident, passionate, loving, giving or takes care of themselves?
You have to be matching what you want to call in.
So back to the Goldilocks Mindset on Dating.
The concept here is simple.
Get to know what you want.
What you need.
What you desire.
And who the f-ck you are.
By dating many, many, people.
And DO NOT get committed quickly.
Dating is all about getting to know someone and letting yourself be revealed as you go.
These two things will never happen over night.
Matter a fact it has been proven that new relationship energy (NRE) takes about 18 months to 3 years to wear off. This is that energy that you feel when you are just getting to know someone one. Where the rose tinted glasses are still on. They can do hardly anything wrong and you make excuses for them left and right, make assumptions about things and don’t really see clearly the love that is before you. This is the time in a relationship that you are living a storybook.
And then one day you wake up and you meet this new person, you wonder where he/she has been hiding the last year or two, and who took away your beautiful mate that was oh so perfect. Now the real stuff comes out and you get to actually get into relationship with the person.
Well if you were dating like Goldilocks,
then you would not be putting all your hopes, needs and desires onto one person.
You would not be looking at the person you are just meeting with hungry eye’s of, “oh please be the one and make my misery of dating be over.”
You would not be so willing to sell yourself short of the quality of a mate that you so badly want.
You would not be so quick to change yourself to try and match someone who is not in alignment to your soul or heart,
and instead you would look at each person who you explored as a beautiful experience for the moment.
One that was there to reveal to you things about yourself.
About desires that you have.
About the life that you want to live.
The relationship that you want to have.
And you would be in gratitude for all the things brought to the table of you relating with them,
no matter how you perceived them in the moment.
If you were dating like Goldilocks,
you most certainly would not sell out to the first bowl of porridge that presented itself to you, or the first bed that looked good but maybe did not feel just right in some way.
No, you would love yourself enough to take your sweet time to get the relationship that was in SOUL ALIGNMENT.
You would try out many different scenarios.
You would explore lot’s of different flavors.
And you would allow yourself to gain clarity on what felt best to you.
You would be unconditional in your dating.
With limited expectations,
and only a desire to reveal and be revealed.
The Mindset of Goldilocks in dating is all about exploration.
It is a mindset of learning about self.
It is a mindset that does not entertain scarcity.
It is knowing that “The ONE” will come when you truly love self and know thy self. When you you are vibing at the level that you magnetize him/her to you.
Anything before then will be about seeing where you are vibing at and learning more about what you like or dislike.
And you would do it all in YOUR OWN TIME.
Not some predetermined social idea of when it should happen or guidelines as to what some story line says it “should.”
So for all you single’s out there who are looking for that special someone and believe that you are running out of time,
ready to give up or cut yourself short on what you want in a relationship,
let me share this concept with you and let me assure you that you are worth a beautiful relationship.
One that has so much of what you want and then some.
You can have it all.
And you will.
As long as you learn how to approach love and relationship with unconditional relating and a focus of self-love and honor first.
Remember that you call into your life that, that you focus on most.
So where has your focus gotten you?
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
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I know what I want.
I know my desire.
I feel my heart yearning.
Calling for me to breathe,
breathe life back into it.
To not fear love.
Or to be loved.
To not belittle love,
offered at my doorway.
I hear my lovers words,
the sweetness they make,
the commitment they stand before,
the desire that erupts in them,
and the love.
The love that they are carried on.
I hear him share his heart,
I feel his soul hold space,
for me as I share in return.
I share my fear.
I share my struggle,
I share my desire.
And I want to run.
Can he be the one that can hold me?
Is he willing to really love me?
Or will he crumble
from my weight,
the weight of who I am
and all I want to become.
His words are nothing new to my ears.
Unfortunate tales that many a sailor in my feminine currents have sung before him.
They all long to be the one.
They long to capture my heart.
They enjoy my body,
they are intrigued by my mind,
they get lifted by my spirit,
but they know that the true battle,
the crusade is for my heart.
And it is a heart that has been scorned,
a heart that has been tossed away as it opened deeper.
My lover looks at me with loving eyes,
he aims to penetrate my soul,
he desires for me to feel his commitment,
he is confident that he can hold me
and dance in my fire.
His voice echos words of my past loves.
He shares he does not want me to change.
He does not want to control me.
yes he can love me and I am not to much.
I feel his heart,
I hear his belief,
but these words are easy to say,
while you sit by the fire and get caught up in its mystery.
What will he do when my fire escapes its container?
What will he do when it desires to over take his heart?
When it burns,
burns in its glory,
in its beauty.
Sure he will enjoy its dance,
but will he be able to handle it being ignited?
Through time and space we dance,
we open and close.
I look away but for a second,
as I sense him leaning in.
My soul wants to be taken.
My heart wants to be penetrated.
the fear conquers them.
It masks the emotions that beg to be seen,
and it makes me retreat.
Retreat once again,
Back into my lonely cave.
Where I feel safe.
Safe in my not having.
Safe in my not being seen,
if even for a bit longer.
Yet he still see’s me.
And I know this.
He leans in further,
his lips softly open,
he asks for a kiss.
My heart shakes,
it rumbles in fear and excitement.
For all it ever wants,
wants to be chased,
wants to be desired,
wants to be opened,
wants to not be given up on.
In its wanting,
he steps a bit further into the fire,
and proclaims his presence.
Asking for my depth.
Asking for my emotion.
Asking for my fire.
And so it is,
that I breathe in.
Just one breath,
just one perhaps.
And answer him in the only way I can,
in this moment.
This perfect moment of our lives.
“As you wish.”
Comes from my lips as we meet once again.
To all those who have loved and lost,
loved deeper than they can ever share,
who have tasted true love and will never settle for anything less than.
To all those who have stood in the goddesses fire,
who have been burned, who have been mesmerized by its flames and desired to conquer it.
To all those who want to feel its ignition,
who believe that they can hold it.
And dance with it.
Much love to you this day.
Open yourselves to love,
as it is what makes you feel alive.
It births your soul into all it desires,
all it needs and can be.
And let yourself be seen.
Stop Existing & Start Living
He wants my surrender.
I can feel it at my greatest depths.
He wants me fully.
Open and inviting to his everything.
He wants my surrender,
and he is willing to work for it.
He is willing to take the journey into the depths of my being,
where he will uncover my hidden treasures,
which I fear may seem like dragons,
yet he assures me in his holding,
that he does not want to slay my dragons,
he only want to bask in their beauty,
he wants to sit with them in moments of stillness,
and he wants to just take them in.
He wants to see their beauty,
that beauty that only a deep understanding of love can handle,
that beauty that is so revealing of the soul.
Most are not strong enough within themselves to face this beauty,
Most fear being devoured by it.
What they begin in the courting process admiring from a afar,
they end with wanting to own and control.
Because it scares them.
It is wild,
it is fierce,
it is powerful beyond measure,
and desires to conquer the hearts of its admirers.
Few are able to hold themselves,
within the presence of this beast.
But, every now and then,
a gentleman comes about,
makes himself known,
and smiles in the presence of the magic he has found in caverns of the goddess.
And this gentleman,
ignites the goddesses soul.
Sets it on fire.
And she desires to dance for him.
She desires to open herself for him,
and let him in.
Yet she is scared beyond measure,
her past tells of beautiful love saga’s,
intense love and loss.
She is fearful to become vulnerable with this man.
Because of the pain,
the pain that her heart will endure.
Yet she desires it all.
The love and depth,
are worth the pain.
Are worth the standing before her own dragon,
and smiling within its flames.
She know’s that this man,
is rare, and unique.
That he is one who can hold her fire.
At least for a time.
And she wants to surrender.
She craves the intimacy.
She craves the revealing.
She craves the integrity.
And the opening.
She leans in.
And she drops into his arms,
resting in his strength.
Resting in his admiration.
She let’s her emotions be seen.
and she opens a bit more.
This cavern is deep.
And she realizes,
that her dragon is not to be feared.
She now understands what this gentleman has known,
the fire of her dragon will not harm when lifted in love,
it will only light the way to more caverns for them to explore.
The depths of their souls.
And so she looks at the gentleman,
with tears streaming from her eye’s,
and she say’s yes to the opening.
They lay together, enwrapped in the moment,
and they smile.
Blessed be to all of you who read this and venture into the depths of the goddesses caverns with hearts on fire,
and souls ignited.
Be wise in your journey and know that the dragon is there to protect the goddess from those that are unworthy,
and there to guild those who are,
into her surrender.
Stop Existing & Start Living
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You say you can hear my smile in my voice.
You say that you want an opportunity to court me.
You say so much…
It is not your words.
It is all in your actions.
In those looks you give me.
The way your lips turn slightly different with your smirk,
The way you take my hand,
the groans that you make when you are close.
You say so much,
in the way you stay present with me.
The way you always make sure to be the gentleman.
You lead me strong.
You lead me with love.
You say that you believe that people grow tired of each other,
and without saying,
you let me know you fear that I will grow tired of you.
You fear that I bore easily.
But your desire for me speaks,
in all the little things.
They do not go unnoticed.
You say that if we did it right,
then we would not grow tired,
because the thing that bores,
is that when two come together they do less than more.
You are right.
And so I lean into your lead.
I lean into all that you say.
With your words.
With your smirk.
With your groans.
With how you hold me.
With how you protect me.
With how you remain present,
dance in this beautiful energy.
This energy that we have danced in,
and we have paused from,
and find ourselves back in.
Yes you say so much.
So much I want to hold on too.
So much that causes my heart to quake.
So much that scares me,
because in your presence,
I feel beautiful.
In your arms I feel held.
In your embrace,
I feel loved.
And when you look at me,
with your everyday sultry eye’s,
I feel like your queen.
You say so much,
in so many ways.
And it is these things that captivates my soul.
It is these things that ignites my heart.
It is these things that opens me,
Open’s me to your love.
To the man that you are.
The man that I had tried to ignore.
The man that is patiently waiting.
Waiting for me to return,
return that look,
return that smirk,
return that holding,
To all the gentlemen who remain strong masculine,
leading in love, in compassion, and desire.
To all of you gentlemen, who understand that courting is vital, and leading is your part of the dance.
You are loved and needed.
Stop Existing & Start Living
Explore my Passion Coaching for Couple’s of Private Solo-Coaching. Two Private Coaching Spot’s open NOW.
Little girls are taught to smile, be polite and make sure to not ask for too much or be too demanding.
Little girls are told that it is their responsibility to take care of others.
Little girls are told that it is their fault if a boy says, thinks or does something based in sexual attitude to them.
Little girls are told that only “bad” girls speak about their desires or ask for them.
And you know what all of this bullsh*t does to us women?
It causes some seriously unhappy women that have no clue what they want and are loaded with shame and guilt. It is the beginning of a life long plague where we grown ass women attract all the wrong men in our lives and scare away the good guys left and right because we are lost little girls hiding in this grown up body, pretending to have all our sh*t together STILL trying to be a “good girl” like we were taught.
And you know what this bullsh*t does to men?
It teaches them that women are their for the use and the toss away. It teaches them that they don’t have to earn us nor work on themselves to keep us. It teaches them that sex is a transaction and that women should be happy with what they get back from a guy which is typically some slimy come on laced with some expectation.
These teachings that our youth get contribute to the crappy dating world we live in. They are the foundations of the issues in our relationship saga’s and our marriage crisis’s.
We speak about monogamy but what we don’t understand is that with it or ANY relationship outline that each of us MUST be committed to each other and to our own growth and the growth of the relationship. Relationships are not easy, they require work, commitment and compassion. Here is the issue, often we get into a relationship way to quickly and we throw ourselves into the deep end and expect that commitment is a sure thing. We also expect that this commitment is going to allow us to not have to work so hard any more and that we can just relax and soften the courting ( on both sides). Commitment means that sex should just happen, when we want it and that it is part of our relationship duties that we should be damn happy about.
This is all so far from any truth, yet this is what relationship after relationship goes through.
These issues would all come to a halt if they never had an opportunity to get started.
And here is why I am a bitch to men.
I am a bitch to men because when a man messages me a random text, email, FB message and asks me a dumb question like:
” How old are you?”
“What’s your name?”
“Are you married?”
“How are you today ?”
(and these are opener liner’s)
Or simply just says, “Hi.” and leaves it at that. I can tell that I have a winner of a man in my presence. Yeppers, this man is committed to only one thing and it is not to getting to know me or exploring any sort of relationship. No he is more than likely hoping that I am as desperate as him and will send him a picture or get into a sex chat with him so that he can jack off to my words and picture and be done. Once again proving that men in today’s world have been taught that women are their for the usage, their pleasure and can easily be disposed of.
Take this into the dating world and you get the guys who think that it’s okay to assume that sex or anything will happen just because they have asked a woman out. If they buy dinner well then, what are they getting in return? If they have taken a woman out three times then she better put out.
Our society norm on relationship is that it is ALL about the QUICK, EASY HOOK UP.
It is not just the men’s fault here.
Us ladies have a BIG role in this as well.
We allow this kind of attitude to flourish by the way we act.
Not being authentic from the start. Leading men on in one way and at the same time keeping ourselves locked away and not sharing what we are wanting in a relationship. Thinking that the way to a man’s heart is through his cock and giving him easy sex right up front.
Ladies, this is NOT the way to capture a man. You can have many “boys” to play with but a man will want more of you than just your sex. And a man will be willing to take things slow, be present with you and show you in many ways that you are more than just a booty call or friend with benefits. These men are willing to court and do so NOT because of some duty or because they think that women cannot do things such as open doors and pull out chairs or pay a tab, but because it brings them pleasure to pamper you and take care of you. Because they are operating in their divine masculine and love being a man that is strong in himself thus can support a woman in her feminine.
They also, do not have a desire for you to have sex with them out of duty because they just paid for dinner. No they only desire to have you sexually when you are ready and wanting it too. They understand that it takes an emotional connection and level of trust to be open to having pleasurable sex and intimacy and that it is NOT about the pump, pump, ooooh, goo experience that they could have in the privacy of their own bathroom with their hand but that when you finally come together in this way that his pleasure will be intensified by your surrender due to the trust building and emotional connection that you both created on the front side.
These sort of men, through their own energy and personal power and confidence in them selves and life make a woman want them in every way from the first moment of meeting.
It is NOT something that can be faked either.
These men desire a WOMAN not a girl. They want someone stable in who she is, comfortable in her feminine energy and NOT shadowing her beauty with a need to prove that she is a better man than he. These men value authentic women, not manipulation and game playing. They want us women to show up as we are in any moment, raw, beautiful and in our power as a woman.
These men smile at our fire, our passion, our hearts desires. They are willing to hold space for our tears and they value emotions, ALL of them.
These men even if scared, desire more to be strong in themselves and in worship of their love to their woman than to try an control her through some belittling program of duty that only kills a relationship. They know what they want, they know it is work and there will be emotional times. They understand that in order to keep a real woman in their life that they must ALWAYS strive to be a better man then what they were the day before and have as much compassion for themselves as they do for her.
This is why I am a bitch to men.
NOT all men.
Just the chosen men that are not men to start with but little boys, insecure in themselves and fearful of any true depth of relationship or intimacy. These men I am a bitch too, because why would a woman settle for anything less than an authentic superior man who is on purpose, in love with life and self and fully ready to envelop her in his heart.
Why would a woman settle for a man that cannot or refuses to match her radiance and love with his own?
Why would a woman settle for anything less than what God wants her to have? God wants us women to ask men to stand up and be men, in their power and glory and with their hearts and souls, not just their” little heads.”
Ladies why are you settling?