I Yearn For So Much More In My Life.

YEARNING.

CRAVING.

A hunger that you just can not fill.

 

This has been something that I have been playing with the last few months.

 

Shit…

that’s not true.

It’s been something that I have been dancing around with for years now.

And I am f-cking hungry!

 

Which makes me irritable.

Makes me depressed some days.

Makes me look out into my life and question all that I have and all that I want,

and makes me look at what I am blessed with and say,

“Is this as good as it gets?”

 

I sound like a spoiled rotten bitch though when I say that.

And perhaps I have become one.

And maybe…

maybe I am supposed to be one.

maybe you are too.

 

Maybe, just maybe we are all supposed to want for more in our lives.

In our love and in our sex.

 

But the fear of being perceived as greedy,

as selfish,

and not appreciative stops us from going after what we want for.

 

The fear of what others will think.

That is the leading sabotager of our dreams.

And damn we are really good at finding reasons that we cannot be fulfilled in life.

Why we “should” settle,

and why we need to just shut up, sit down and stop searching, stop craving, stop wanting.

 

We are great at thinking that there is something wrong with us,

that we are bad people because we want for more.

Especially when we are a people of so many blessings.

 

 

The reality though love is something totally different.

The reality is that the way that this universe and God evolve and expand is through our wanting.

Our desires birth into existence everything that we currently have and everything that will ever be.

The issue with our desires is that they make those around us uncomfortable.

Especially when we start speaking about our sex and money.

These two things we are damned for no matter which way we turn.

If we want more of them then we are damned and greedy, we are sluts and only focused on gratification of self.

If we want for less of them or allow less of them in our lives then we are told that we are not worthy of everything else in life because we don’t have enough of these two things which means that we are unattractive, stupid, weak, disliked, etc.

 

So no matter what we do, when it comes to our sex and our money we are f-cked and not in a fun or good fashion.

 

So what can we do with these unholy hungers that we have and we run and try and hide from but that creep up and make themselves known in the most inopportune moments?

 

How do we curb our cravings to have the love, the sex, the money and abundance without feeling shameful and guilty for wanting more or better? Or any for that matter.

Or for wanting to change things up and play with what we have to try and create something more robust and expansive?

 

First we have to KNOW…

I mean truly KNOW with all the certainty that we can muster up that WANTING is natural and healthy.

The craving for something is a showing that our soul wants it for us as well and is already in pursuit for it and has found a path.

The negative emotions that stem from our craving of wanting something more and better reveals that we are out of alignment with our soul and with our power. We would not be able to feel this negative vibe if we were in alignment.

You see when we are in alignment we feel f-cking great.

We are focused,

we are clear minded,

we feel powerful and turned on to life,

We have confidence and are loose in our life, able to flow toward what we are wanting because we are allowing ourselves to be taken to it versus constricting ourselves and causing ourselves to get caught up in worry and fear.

 

Next we have to realize that ALL things…

Did you read that?

 

ALL THINGS CHANGE.

They must change.

In order for us to grow,

to heal,

to expand,

to gain what we claim we want,

in any subject area of life,

we must allow for evolution to occur.

We cannot have what we want by remaining the same person that we are today.

Even if we have a dynamic relationship,

fantastic sex,

a bank full of money,

great health and everything that we “think” that we can want for,

we still must allow for evolution to happen within ourselves and our lives as well as within any one of these areas if we want to maintain the area and/or expand/heal it.

 

You will never find happiness by insisting on things to remain the same.

 

Just like you cannot expect things to remain at the same level of connection,

the same level of turn on,

or anything else.

Life has its storms,

These storms are about you developing your ideal version of you.

These storms are something for us to learn how to move through in confidence and love,

and that in the storms of life,

we must expect that things will pull from us or push up against us and often this will feel uncomfortable.

But the discomfort is there to alert us to the areas inside of ourselves that we need to learn to lean more into,

speak more truth from,

see more authentically,

reveal in vulnerability more,

and to trust and love on.

These raw spaces that get revealed are the spaces that evolve us to our highest potential.

And thus create the life that we want.

Bringing our dreams into reality.

 

The yearning.

The craving.

It’s beautiful.

It’s powerful.

It’s revealing.

And it is saying that it is time that you start to pay mother f-cking attention to your SOUL.

 

It’s time that you start to take notice of that hunger before it becomes a ravenous beast that will destroy you and everything in its path to getting fed.

 

 

 

I am hungry.

I am craving more in all areas of my life and I have an amazingly full and abundant life.

My cup runneth over for sure.

And I want to keep it that way.

Because the truth of the matter is,

only with a full cup can you truly share without fear,

and help others.

Only by valuing yourself to the levels that God values can you give your gift in this world.

And only through the pursuit of evolution through love,

of self can you grow your soul and experience happiness.

Pure happiness.

Because happiness is not about the things that you have but who you become gaining the things that you have.

 

Who are you today and what does your tale say about your journey?

 

As Always,

Stop existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

Join me later this month for an expansive workshop about magick, love, sex and the law of attraction. We are going to be putting together the pieces of your puzzle and breaking down the barriers that have been holding you back from saying yes fully to your desired life.

Wanting To Be Washed Over and Scared To Death Of It.

One of those days when my energy goes to left field…

 

 

Or maybe it’s right field.

Or maybe right at the pitcher.

IDK.

It’s always interesting though on days like this where I feel the arousal of life moving through me,

I feel the hunger to devour every moment,

and the tugs of the past that will always sway around in my soul, reminding me of what I thirst still for.

 

On days like today,

the universe is quick to remind me of my energetic connections,

of how those fleeting yet powerful thoughts evoke response,

and how quick I can manifest many opportunities into my life to experience everything that I am thirsting for.

 

This quenching comes through multiple sources however,

and me being human just like you want it the way I want it and all in one package.

 

Even though I fully understand, appreciate and even value the multiple packages that can show up in my life,

There are some things that I crave for that I JUST WANT IN THE WAY I WANT.

 

And I know without a doubt that I can have them too.

I have tasted of these delicacies before.

I have been overtaken by the depth of fulfillment that can be experienced all from one source.

And it is truly intoxicating.

 

AND I WANT THAT!

 

I don’t really have a ton of patience to wait for it.

I question if I am just wasting time,

settling,

or if I just imagined it before.

Or perhaps the truth is that those sorts of things only come once in life,

and when gone they leave us with this beautiful suffering of knowing that it will never be again.

 

Perhaps they are only so lovely as to walk through our lives because of the deep pain that they bare on our soul.

 

Or perhaps,

they are there to make us question ourselves, or to learn how to be better. As if to present a lesson for us to spend the rest of our days unraveling.

 

IDK.

 

I truly don’t know.

But what I do know is that these blessed little and big moments  in my life are a feast that I will always run toward and sit at the table of.

 

I know that when presented I am eager and hungry to explore IF….

 

and perhaps, this is yet another one of those life moments that  will forever leave its mark,

and no matter how deep it may scratch into my flesh and heart,

I know for sure one thing.

IT IS WORTH IT.

 

How can something that can be such an achilles heel to us be worth anything other than pain and cause us anything other than a major stumbling block in our life?

 

These things can be like quicksand to us if we get to caught up in them,

and yet we dive in,

head first.

and we search for them.

 

It is because without them,

without the knowing and the deep dive into the ravines of everything that they offer us,

we will NEVER KNOW OURSELVES FULLY.

and with that we can never know love.

We can never feel that true sense of abandon,

where we surrender into nothingness that is everything.

Where all that we are is seen and unraveled like the lessons that we gain from these moments and people who allow us time to bask in the enjoyment of the experience of life with them.

 

And so we wander through our days,

lost in search for yet this experience again. Ever so hungry to find it,

ever so thirsty to be drowned by it,

and we find our hearts feeling broken.

We find our minds screaming at us in dissatisfaction,

that we are so silly as to be hunting for yet another moment.

 

Trying to convince ourselves that, that was all the sampling of happiness, connection, love and joy that we get for this lifetime.

Giving all of our power over to just this one moment.

And feeling like we have been shredded into a million pieces and no one cares,

no one sees,

no one hears our pleas to be held yet again in this beauty,

this agonizing beauty that we fear and hunger for all in the same.

 

And then,

What do we crazy fickle humans do?

 

We manifest into our lives….

That is what we do.

We call it in and we choose to disregard it.

Because we fear its wrath on our lives.

We fear the pain.

We fear the heartache and the loss.

The death of something.

And so we deny allowing it into formation.

We say no to the very thing that we hunger for.

 

And we choose to sit in agony that we have chosen out of the fear of if we said yes to our dreams and our desires,

if we allowed ourselves to transform and become everything that we need to become to fully merge with this new exploration and blessing,

and we convince ourselves that this sort of suffering is better than the having of yet another altering beautiful moment  that we run the risk of losing somewhere down the road.

And so we sit idle in our today,

and stay that way,

hungry.

 

Never allowing our thirst to be quenched by the waterfalls that can carry us away to our own divinity.

To the uniting of self and love.

To the potential of who we are and how we can dance in the currents of our transformation.

 

Yes this is the journey of the fickle human being.

That you and I  both are.

We will forever be captivated by our hungers,

our wanting and earning,

and to those we must awaken to our nature to torment ourselves in the not having.

 

Because when we seek…

when we ask…

It is always granted.

It is never denied by God/universe.

 

The denying is all up to us.

 

So what will we choose?

 

To have?

Or to have not?

 

It is up to you and it is up to me,

and this is how powerful we truly are.

We have the power to shackle ourselves from EVERYTHING,

yes everything that we want for.

 

What do you choose?

I know my answer.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn how you can one and for all get out of your own way? I get how difficult it can be.

How it feels like there is no way that you can ever achieve the life, the relationship,

the abundance and health that you crave so deeply for.

I understand how easy it is to contribute all that beauty and love from your past to one person,

or experience.

 

But I tell you this,

you are the creator of your life and you are worthy of thriving.

Let me show you the path to living unbound and turned on today.

*Photo Credit @ #DandeLionImages