Are You Arguing For Your Limitations? I Bet You Are.

Have you ever noticed how much time and energy you spend arguing for your limitations?

 

Even after you get what you want.

 

Yesterday I co-taught a class for men on consciousness and development of their masculine energy in their relationships, sex and life.

A running theme that I heard come from the men’s mouths was the clarification and owning of excuses as to WHY they could not have what they wanted for.

 

Later in the day,

I worked with a few clients/friends on similar issues.

As I sat listening to them I found myself internally shaking my head in amazement at how they could not see their fear over getting and having exactly what they had been wanting for all these years.

 

And so they in turn argued for their limitations in having it.

Putting up roadblocks everywhere and getting angry about the roadblocks.

 

I was doing a coaching session with a client,

and in our conversation his verbiage about life and self was focused on the inability to say yes to himself,

yes to life,

yes to his desires and dreams,

and how he fully owned that he was not worthy of such good things because he felt that he had not done what he needed to do to receive it.

His every other word was condemning himself for basically being human,

and he sat there convinced that it just could not be so.

As I brought this verbiage into light for him and inquired,

“How is this serving you?”

 

He would agree with me on topics and even the awareness of what he was speaking into manifestation,

but then without a second thought fall right back into speaking the shit that was not serving as though it must be this way.

All the while admitting that he had a great life,

full of blessing,

but that he was unable to see it or feel his own happiness in it,

because he did not deserve it for this or that childish reasoning of a need to be perfect and not be human.

That what he wanted was for sure there,

but not showing up the exact way that he wanted it too.

 

Fast forward,

I was chatting with close friends about their relationship and some of the things that are coming up for them in their communication and sex.

 

Again,

they were arguing for their limitations in their love and connection.

 

Now they were not arguing with each other,

As of yet at least,

but the argument to find what they did not want for was there and ever present.

So much so that they had each retracted back into their critical minds, away from their heart centers and were viewsing their relationship and love from a place of fear.

Fear of not getting it right,

fear that they are broken,

fear that the other is at fault or will do what a past lover has done,

fear that they are not worthy of what they have called into manifestation.

 

And so they sat there with me,

terrified of self and of each other.

In ways pointing fingers at one another energetically,

recreating old wounds through the applied fear in thought of triggers,

their energy was shut down and snippy even.

At points I was feeling like I was tapping on a bed of needles in trying to share what I witnessed and help them to open to love and their own humanness.

 

The emotion on all fronts of my day yesterday was immense.

The room of men who shared from their deepest heart centers and revealed such beautiful vulnerability to a group of strangers. Their tales of truth and challenges.

 

My client who danced in his ego proudly while fighting for why it was not okay for him to be human or to be happy,

and his pain and fear around allowing himself to have what he wanted for.

 

My friends, who love each other dearly and manifested this incredible connection and fairytale romance,

who are fighting internally to keep distance from their hearts and desires,

by literally creating roadblocks inside self to prevent connection and getting angry about it.

 

All of the tales of yesterday had three things in common:

 

1) A wanting/desire to manifest what they already had

 

2) An arguing for the limitations that they felt they needed somehow

 

3) Anger around having what they wanted for but not having it exactly the way they wanted it

 

And so it is.

These are the common issues with us humans.

In all subject areas of our lives we do these things.

We want, we manifest, we argue for limitations, and we get mad that what we want is not exact to plan.

 

And even when it is exact to plan we get pissy about it because we feel like we are not worthy of it coming to us with ease,

or at all often.

And therefore,

we throw away what we want so badly for while making excuses as to why we must get rid of it.

 

We humans spend more time arguing about getting what we want while it is present in our lives then appreciating what we want and how it is already here with us,

so that we can live our lives in bliss and happiness.

 

Imagine if we just stopped this shit.

And got grateful for how amazing we are at manifesting what we want.

 

Instead of trying to kill our dreams and desires when they arrive like they are some sort of evil that is invading our homes in the middle of the night.

 

Why do we do this?

Why do we fight with our manifestations with such insistence that we cannot have or keep them?

 

It’s really quite simple.

 

We fear our worthiness.

If we stop fighting for our limitations,

we have to own our worthiness,

which means that we have to embrace the fact that we are powerful.

We can no longer point fingers of blame to God and other people and outside influences for us not being happy or having the life that we want,

we have to actually own ourselves and be responsible.

 

Well f-ck!

 

And so it is the easier path to toss the towel in frequently and say it did not work,

or that we are not good enough,

we don’t have the time or understanding,

that someone else is not doing their part,

that the economy sucks or government prevented us from it,

our church, family and state are to blame,

our upbringing,

etc.

 

But this is what cowards do frankly.

Make excuses and argue for limitations.

 

I don’t believe that any soul that I sat with yesterday is a coward.

 

Nor do I believe that if you are reading this today,

that you are either.

 

I do believe that we are all guilty of not knowing how to SURRENDER to receiving.

 

We fear it truthfully.

We look at surrender,

we feel a tad into what we perceive it to be and it feels dangerous and triggers us to old wounds from our past  so we find ourselves constantly saying no to the life that we want and to our happiness,

even when we have successfully manifested it.

 

Today I ask you to do one thing.

Today I ask that you bring attention to where you are arguing for your limitations in receiving the happiness and things you desire for.

 

I ask that you just begin the process of witnessing those thoughts and the feeling they create for what they truly are…

 

your rebuttal against your joy and receiving.

 

In doing this you will start the process of letting them go.

And create a new space to open the door to having.

 

You may find yourself shocked at what you discover,

and the truth that in many ways the life that you are craving for is knocking at your door and may already be with you in some ways,

but your insistence of not having it is blinding you to its manifestation.

 

So stop being snippy with your dreams.

Stop denying your joy in your pursuit for suffering.

You are worthy.

God/universe does not create anything that is not worthy and your life is not meant to be one of struggle.

 

That is a lie we humans tell ourselves to entertain our ego’s.

Your soul knows the truth.

 

Trust, surrender, and breathe deep,

your desired life is happening now.

 

As Always,

What You Want For, Is Already Yours. – Here Is How.

OMFG! Do I ever have the travel bug up my butt!

Here I sit, the sun is out,

it’s freaking beautiful outside,

and my soul,

which likes to hop a plane every 5 weeks or so to go somewhere in our world is stir crazy from just popping around the back yard, a few parks and lakes and hanging with my closests peeps.

 

I am sure you can feel me on this.

I just want my feet in the sand,

or to breathe in the crisp air of the mountains,

or hike through a rainforest.

I don’t need to go popping through a city or even a village and meet new peeps.

I need mother nature,

and I need it outside of my own backyard.

I need to be set free.

 

And I am sure you do too.

 

But you see, freedom is not something that we gain from the outside.

Much like love, compassion, empathy, worthiness, or forgiveness,

freedom does not come from the outside first.

It is a feeling.

Just like all the other feelings I just listed.

 

And if we focus on the feeling,

and we just enjoy it for what it is,

and that is what we want,

then we already have at any given moment what we desire.

 

But we tend to get caught up with saying that we want this feeling…

 

whatever that might be,

or we might even go as far to claim that we already have it,

and say that we are so grateful for it,

but when it comes down to it,

we are looking for the results of something physical to happen to support that feeling that we were playing with.

 

And that’s just the issue.

We play with our feelings.

 

We don’t just have them and enjoy them and let them be the seeds to the life that we want,

we play with them and toss them all about,

then as with anything we are playing with,

we get tired of them,

or we drop them and…. oops, they shatter.

When we drop a feeling we do it by taking our focus off of the enjoyment of the feeling just being with us and start to look for physical evidence of the feeling,

such as the money in the bank,

the lover in our bed,

the return of a healthy body,

etc.

 

And when we do this,

crash… the feel leaves us and we are left with doubt.

We are left with fear.

Because now we fall back into the concept that we have to have this outside “thing” to be the feeling.

And if that “thing” is not there then obviously we cannot be the feeling we want.

 

So we attach our feelings to objects and relationships.

We attach our joy and happiness to these things and we steal our beautiful life from ourselves when we do this.

 

I will not lie,

I want to travel. And I want to get out of dodge quickly,

I am antsy as all heck.

And I will most likely book myself and family a VRBO on the gulf of Mexico sometime in the next two weeks.

Cuz, that’s the way I roll.

But, until that, I am not going to focus on the not happening right now in the physical aspect.

Because the reality is…

 

MY LIFE IS EFFING AMAZING.

and I am free.

 

I am free to think the thoughts that I want.

I am free to think and feel good vibes.

I am free to increase my vibration.

I am free to smile.

I am free to laugh.

I am free to grow.

I am free to enjoy the people that I want to enjoy.

I am free to delight in life.

I am free to share my joy.

I am free to focus my attention to the life that I am calling in and the life expansion that I want for.

I am free….

 

Because I feel free RIGHT NOW.

And it will stay such as long as I keep my focus on feeling it NOW.

 

So luv…

 

IT’S EFFING TIME!

It’s time to cut loose.

It’s time to say lets get a move on.

It’s time to open up and stop feeling so much reservation about everything.

It’s time to know your power.

It’s time to stop being fearful of everything.

It’s time to make some shit happen.

It’s time to call it all in and live it.

 

It’s time.

It’s your time.

 

It’s time to own your freedom.

Own your worthiness.

Own your lovability.

Own your power.

 

 

But you have to be willing to want for it enough to let yourself have it right now,

because THAT is the only way you will ever attract it in physical manifestation.

 

Are you ready to set yourself free?

 

Lets Go.

 

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

 

It is time that you say YES to you.

 

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

Compassion, Gratitude + Vagus Nerve: The Components to Your Mind, Body, Soul Connection

Do you ever have a moment in your life where you find your heart swelling with gratitude and love?

Where you are sitting in a state of awe over how effing blessed you are?

Do you ever just find yourself in tears to the magic that this life has to offer?

I have this frequently.
Just this morning my alarm went off a little after 5-AM.
I stretched, drank some water, went to the bathroom.
I came back to bed, snuggled under my furry blanket and wrapped myself up in my satin sheets.
My hand rested beside me and I felt my lovers erection,
he was sleeping, but his member was awake.

I smiled from within,
as I had a hunger to connect with him.

And so we made sweet love.
Wispers of pleasure,
my body was happy to receive him.
I joked that he needed to get going and shower, and get out the door to work,
but that I first demanded that he take care of me as I grabbed him.

The moment was playful,
it was loving and primal.
It was most of all connective,
and more so connective for me to embody myself then to even connect with him.

I found myself needing him to touch me,
needing him to bring me back to my breath,
needing ME to get present in my own flesh,
with my emotions,
and out of my head.

And this moment blessed me with just that.

Afterward, we kissed and he got me my morning coffee.
I sat in bed, breathed deep into my womb and relaxed my chest.
I found myself feeling so much gratitude for my life,
for him,
for the opportunities that I have,
I was grateful for the messes that I need to clean up today,
my home that needs tidied for a 3-day event happening in it this coming weekend,
for my children,
their laughter and joy.
I opened up my facebook and I scrolled through pictures and events that happened over the last eight weeks.
I looked at the travel, the birthdays, the dinners, the family and friends,
the laughter,
the authentic smiles,
the connection.

I saw the blessings and felt JOY.
I felt INSPIRED to focus on just that and keep manifesting more of what feels so good.
I felt PEACE for where I am,
and EXCITEMENT for the path before me.
I felt GRATITUDE for being in my body and the messages that my SOUL shares through my body.
and I felt COMPASSION for self,
and UNDERSTANDING that I am just human.

This is how we create.
This is how we manifest our lives.
We grow and we manifest through being EMBODIED.
But so often we do not fathom what embodiment means,
let along how to achieve it.
We hide in our heads,
where the clutter and chaos of our fears and worries drown out our truth.
We run from our bodies,
and our emotions,
in belief that they will mislead us,
that they are weak and not to be listened too.

Yet as our world evolves,
science is pointing back to what we call spiritualism,
that crazy mystic shiz,
and it is revealing that thier is so much to the
MIND< BODY<SOUL connection.
That in order for us to truly live to our full capasity and expereince maximum well-being that we MUST embody ourselves and not exclude any aspect of this triad.

It is our ability to connect the dots of this three parts that enable us to be the alchemists of our lives.

When we are lost,
when we are full of anxiety,
our pathway of communication between
MIND<BODY<SOUL is disrupted.
Making it it virtually impossible to make correct life choices for ourselves.
We hinder our selves through disassociation to the body and the emotions.
This disassociation causes us to have life happen to us,
verses us creating the life that we want.

In today’s world there are new sciences being created to study just this MIND<BODY<SOUL connection and the pathways that create the communication needed to achieve our full capacity.

The medical field of bioelectronics was formulated just for this sole purpose.

And in it’s study,
the pathway of the Vagus nerve is a focus.
This is just what I speak of today,
and how I have intuitively created my F-ck Yes! Lifestyle.
Through a consistent practicec of activaing, and paying attention to this communication freeway.
Listening to its messages from SOUL to Body, to mind and acting from this KNOWING space.

You can do the same.
SImple steps and unederstanding,
following the guidance of vagus nerve coaching and practices to live your best life.

Simple.

It really is.
And YOU can expereince the rewards.

Breathe.
Slow down.
Meditate.
Conscious Focus on Appreciation and Compassion.
Letting go of Control Based Thinking.
Becoming Body Present.

These are the steps.
Ready?

Get activated now.
And THRIVE.

How do you support your MIND<BODY<SOUL Connection?

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

ANNOUNCING my New Global Group Coaching Program!
5-weeks of intensive yet simple education, strategy and exercises to create your desired life through activation and understanding of the Vagus Nerve.

PM for Pre-Launch interest in Group Vagus Nerve Coaching Program. Learn how to embody and stimulate your vagus nerve in a whole new way.

#1 Strategy to Deepening Any Relationship.

He held me in his vulnerability.
His heart racing.
His hands with a soft tremble.
I could feel heat radiating from his chest as he pressed firmly but in love into me.
His breath softly crossing over my neck as his face found itself burried in my long hair.
 
It was his vulnerability.
And yet it was ours.
 
There we stood,
embraced in a deeply connective hug under the stary sky.
The crisp air rustling the leaves as crickets chirped.
 
My soul was taking it all in.
It was a precious moment.
A moment of depth,
of truly connecting,
of holding space and of witnessing.
 
Not many words were needed,
the energy told everything.
And it was the energy of truth.
It was the energy of revealing.
It was the energy of unconditional love and acceptance.
 
The wounds that merged our souls,
the sharing that brought on this moment,
it was all as it should be.
And there we were,
two individuals,
barely knowing each other,
yet KNOWING one another deeper than we were willing to share with most.
 
My heart found gratitude,
my mind was silent.
There was no fear in this moment.
There was no blame or guilt,
no shame.
It was just a moment of acceptance.
 
Of BEING.
 
And so it was.
 
This moment was a lifetime connective piece to this relationship.
And the best thing was,
we both felt it.
 
Yet so many relationships,
of all labels never expereince this and if they do,
things tend to get a little weird after such a moment in time.
We suffer from what is known as vulnerability hangover,
where we have risked allowing our softer side, or our insecurities, fears, or what we perceive as weaknesses to be seen and then we wake up and feel SHAME for the reveal of our depths.
 
And that is what true vulnerability is,
uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.
 
But if we desire like Berne Brown speaks of,
greater clarity in our purpose or deeper or meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.
 
And this is seen just in this little tale of mine.
This lovely soul allowed himself to be exposed.
He risked revealing his emotional state,
and he did it because his soul wanted to be witnessed, ‘to be truly seen and held.
 
He stepped out with courage and desire,
and allowed for his vulnerability to be the path of connection in this moment.
 
And because he did so,
he gave us both the gift of authentic relating.
Of being able to come together in our humanness and hold each others hearts.
 
He created the space to receive grace.
Grace for self.
Grace for and from another,
thus grace from God.
Who asks us to love unconditionally,
ourselves,
our neighbours,
and to step forward in certainty,
with hearts of children.
 
And children are deeply couragous in their vulnerabilty.
 
As children we inately understand that in order to grow,
to transform and to connect that we must allow ourselves to be seen,
with no shame as to how we are being percieved,
with no judgment for what we are wanting or not wanting,
for how we are feeling.
As children,
we just are.
And in that state of being we dare to state our truth in any given moment.
But as we grow into adults,
we loose touch with the value of being seen.
We instead replace it with the normalcy of fearing what others will think.
We run too and fro,
never feeling like we are enough,
and believing that running in the hustle is the way to achieve this elusive thing called happiness.
 
And so we hide.
We mask and we cover ourselves in shrouds of uncertainty.
Pretending that we are untouchable.
That we are strong.
That we do not need help.
That we have it all figured out.
And we shake our heads at those let themselves be seen.
We believe that eotional displays are a sign of weakness.
 
All the while craving,
hungering for thi svery connection.
Wanting for nothing mpre than to be understood.
 
Vulnerability.
Can it be?
The thing,
the thing that must be birthed in order for us to no longer be chasing happiness and fulfillment,
and instead,
JUST BE IT.
 
 
Yes my beautiful,
here is what you do not want to hear,
but your soul knows true.
 
Taking the steps in vulnerabilty,
and allowing yourself to be held,
is the leaning into the path that leads to your joy.
 
I ask you today,
where can you show a deeper piece of yourself,
and lift the mask that you wear?
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to learn how to access that breathtaking life where you have clarity and certainty in the steps that you are called toward?
 
Ready to level up your relationships, money and life?
Let’s chat about 1:1 coaching opportunities now.
Global coaching opportunities.

WHY I DO SEX DAILY.

WHY I DO SEX DAILY….
 
I have sex almost daily.
It’s just my THING.
I do sex daily yes because I love sex,
but more so for what sex gives me.
And I am not referring to the mind blowing orgasms that only happen here and there.
 
Okay so it’s truth time folks,
yes ME,
the sex expert and coach that helps thousands of people have better and more sex DOES NOT have mind blowing, earth shaking orgasm daily.
Actually most days, its pretty meh…
The sex is just normal,
and even boring at times.
But I still do sex almost daily,
and some days if the opportunity presents itself two or three times.
 
Just a week ago I spent about 7 hours out of 24 having sex.
Now that was yummy.
But why was it yummy?
Why did I want to have 7 hours of sex?
or have it daily, especially if I am not having mind blowing sex or even an orgasm most of the time?
 
The simple truth is that SEX ignites my creative juices.
Sex allows me a medative state, no matter the outcome to work on embodying myself,
sex allows me practice time to get out of my head and FEEL myself at a deep level.
I get to practice letting go,
I get to practice vulnerability,
I get to practice surrender,
I get to see where I am challenged and through the rhythm of my sex,
the consistent allowance of letting myself feel and stepping away from the idea of cumming,
but just BEING instead,
I get to connect to my CORE and thus feel my partner at a deeper level.
 
I have discovered through the years,
that our SEX is linked to so many things.
Self-confidence,
self-love,
boundaries,
ability to receive and give,
thinking patterns,
fear,
DESIRE,
passion,
VITALITY,
a feeling of freedom,
a feeling of peace,
centeredness,
physical well-being,
mental well-being,
and expanded spiritual depth.
 
To just name a few.
Yet we are taught to shame our sex,
to hide from it,
to ignore it,
to STARVE IT.
We are taught that our sex is evil.
And that it should only be used to make babies, or relieve stress QUICKLY.
 
And this way of thinking about our sex,
has us shut down,
fearful,
and not having sex.
It has us feeling disconnected from life, ourselves and the people we love.
It has us feeling insecure and angry,
depressed and lost.
And it has us trying to achieve what we have a void in through any means possible.
It has us acting out and traumatizing ourselves and others.
 
Instead of loving ourselves,
being responsible,
compassionate,
mature people,
we are like caged, starving, beaten wild animals.
This is what our world has become when we DO SEX.
And it’s all because we have such a limited, repressed view and understanding of this beautiful gift from God.
 
Sex and finances are the top two reasons marriages break up.
Sex actually out weights money,
because when the sex is crap,
when the sex is disconnected and toxic,
when sex is just about the get off,
then you have a partner being used and abused.
You have trauma setting in and the relationship is TOXIC.
No amount of money can heal that.
That is all about embodiment.
That is all about connection.
 
And you can ONLY CONNECT to your partner if you know how to connect to yourself first.
 
THAT IS WHY I DO SEX DAILY.
 
The consistent practice of leaning more into ME.
 
How does your sex feel to you?
Connected and deep?
Expansive and full?
or shallow, empty and about the release?
 
Want to learn how you have beautiful sexing all the time and access these states of peace, joy and connection.
Enjoy intimacy no matter what is going on in your life?
Reach out to me for information on my 1:1 coaching available globally today.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

So You Think You Know Me….

SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME….
 
I mean we have been dating for sometime now after all.
And you are such a sweet person.
I love how you make me feel.
I love the looks you give at different times.
I love listening to your stories.
I just love the way that you are.
You make me smile.
You make my heart race and jump for joy when I see you.
I just love you for just how you are.
 
 
Mmmmmm……
Hmmmmm…….
 
And so because you feel all this you have now proclaimed that YOU KNOW ME?
 
 
I saw you sitting there,
looking oh so nice.
This conversation we are having has me feeling really good.
I have this desire rising up to kiss you.
I know that I want more.
You seem really great.
Good looking,
clean,
intelligent.
My gut tells me that I can trust you.
I mean you say that you don’t ever do this sort of thing.
You say that you are safe and clean.
You say that you have not been with anyone for so long.
I feel that I can trust you.
 
Mmmmmm……
Hmmmmm……
 
And so because you feel all this you have now proclaimed that YOU KNOW ME?
 
So we have been chatting for some time,
I have been sharing pieces of myself with you and you with I.
I feel so close to you.
I feel like I know your SOUL.
It’s beautiful and yummy to feel this side of you.
I have seen you go through some things.
I have seen tears wash down your cheeks.
And heard your laughter rise from your chest.
Everything you do,
makes me yearn to know you more.
But I feel like I really know you NOW.
 
Mmmmmm……
Hmmmmm…..
 
We have been together for all these years,
raised a family,
moved a few states,
been through ups and downs.
I have felt you at your best and worst.
I know what pains you and what brings you joy.
I see you daily and rest my head next yours.
We have our goals.
We have our commitment.
And we communicate,
or so I feel.
And so I KNOW YOU like no one else could.
 
Mmmmmmm…….
Hmmmmmm……
 
And so because you feel all this you have now proclaimed that YOU KNOW ME?
 
LOL…
Such a laughable idea is all of this.
I tell you that YOU HAVE NOT THE KNOWING you believe.
Not in any such way of any of these relationships.
 
For no matter what I share,
or who you witness me to be.
No matter the time spent together or not,
YOU DO NOT KNOW ME.
 
You know the version of me that you want to know.
You know the image of me that feels safe to you.
But you do not KNOW ME.
 
You see that thing you feel is knowing,
that thing is actually your ideas about me.
That version of me that you see,
it is part me of yesterday,
part me of today,
and part me that you wish me to be.
It is NOT ME.
 
And if you think that you know me,
after such a short time,
if you think that you get me when you have no idea whats inside,
if you think that you understand me,
that you want to be with me or enjoy me,
then know that whatever you perceive of me is not mine.
Because honey,
YOU DO NOT KNOW ME.
 
You cannot know if someone is true,
if they are trustworthy,
if they are who they say they are,
or you desire them to be,
from just one meeting.
 
The same is true my dear after three or ten dates.
No matter how much sexing, kissing and holding,
if you have not seen me at my worst,
been in the trenches of my pain.
rolled in the grasses of life in my joy,
or caught in my rain.
If you have not fought till 3 am,
or held me in fear of loosing me,
then you cannot know me.
 
If you believe that knowing me is what you perceive,
if you believe that our relationship is deeper than you can imagine,
but you have no clue what my greatest fear is or my grandest joy,
then you cannot know me.
You may FEEL LIKE YOU DO,
but honey it’s not true.
 
This relationship is sweet,
it is short of depth or truth,
if you choose to believe me,
those pictures I paint,
those tales that I tell,
then honey you are silly,
you are hungry for my love,
my attention and your perception,
but YOU DO NOT KNOW ME.
 
 
This poem is for all those out there that believe that they can trust someone after a first date, or commit to a life with someone after 2, 3 or 6 months.
This poem is for all those who feel like they want to rush into relationship,
rush into commitment,
rush into bare sex,
rush into love.
 
I promise you this, that feeling that you are having is nothing more than a honeymoon feeling, new relationship energy.
And it will fade and your perceptions will change,
your hungers as well.
For in 6, 12, 18 months you will see something more.
And when year three comes to pass, you will START to meet your mate.
The truth will come about and you may discover the stranger that resides by you at night.
 
Hire Slow.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
To learn more valuable relationship success concepts and truths and how to call in that SOULMATE, reach out to me for deet’s on 1:1 coaching today.
 
 
 
 
 

I get paid the BIG bucks to eff you up!

I get paid the BIG bucks to eff you up!

Yes I just stated that. 
And the reality is just such. 
If your boat ain’t rockin’…
If your cage ain’t shaken’…
your heart pounding, 
and your gut churning a little, 
then I promise you this….

YOU ARE TOO COMFORTABLE.

And being comfortable is a wonderful thing. 
It is a thing that we all desire in a big way. 
However comfort also creates blindness and can steal our dreams away from us. 
Comfort can and will breed fear.

Fear of loss. 
Fear of not having.

And it will make us believe that if we are not comfortable that things are bad.
It will make us think that when our cage is rattled that it is a sign to not go that direction, 
that danger is on the horizon.

When in truth, that rattling is exactly what we need to transform our world into all that we want.

And this is what I do.

I rattle cages.
I flip boats upside down. 
I cause tornadoes.
And hurricanes. 
I reach into your soul and I dare ask it,
“What do you want?”

And soul speaks back with a commanding of the world around it saying,

” I want change. I want expansion. I want freedom. I want love. I want truth. I want to fly. I want it all!”

When this happens, 
the world shifts. 
It tips off its axle and and things get crazy for a bit.

Garbage starts to fly all over the place. 
And people get scared that they are going to loose themselves. 
They are afraid that things will change.
They are afraid of meeting their dreams.
Of seeing their truth. 
and loving themselves. 
FULLY.

This may sound crazy, 
after all that is what all of us want, right?

To have a deep connection to ourselves. 
To know who we are. 
And stop pretending. 
To just be ourselves. 
And love ourselves.
Create the life that we want. 
And to have it all.

And we do want this. 
At a SOUL LEVEL…

This is what you want.

But you are afraid of being unsettled to get it.
You are afraid to getting crazy, 
letting in the chaos, 
and getting a little messy.

You want all this beautiful transformation to happen neatly.
Keep it all tidy. 
Don’t show any mess, 
any pain. 
Things need to stay in bumper rails.

Don’t need to feel stretched, 
pushed or vulnerable.

Oh gosh no!
That cannot be part of the process to my SOUL ALIGNMENT.

Oh my love, 
But it is the process.

And getting good with your chaos, 
with the mess is exactly where you need to be.

In love with it matter a fact.
Manifesting this life that you want, 
is going to cause some upheaval. 
It is going to feel like pressure in moments. 
It is going to cause you nausea and fear, 
you will question if there are even steps before you to take.
You will feel challenged.
You will want to tap out.
And you will have a thousand excuses and good reasons as to why you cannot or should not say yes.

And this is all part of your unveiling of SOUL.
This is all part of the beautiful exposure of YOU.

The thing you must do my love, 
is soften to it.
Stop trying to control it. 
And instead find your joy. 
That control and need to have everything perfect is your RESISTANCE to your FLOW.

So LET GO.
And just receive. 
See your truth. 
Step into your alignment, 
CONSCIOUSLY.

And get rattled.
Shake your booty.
Rock your body. 
Open your mind. 
Dance this dance. 
Let go of your rigidness, 
and flow.

That’s why I get paid the big bucks love!
I lead you into this shimmy, shake, earthquake….
of SOUL ALIGNMENT.

Where your dreams and desires flow in ease to you.

You know you want it love. 
Now all you have to do is say YES.

Claim Your Life Today!

“Stop Existing & Start Living”
Coaching for Grown A*s Believer

Message me for deets on 1:1 VIP coaching now. 
Don’t settle for less than what you are worth. 
Don’t let comfort steal your joy, 
your abundance, 
your truth any longer.

Let’s get you started today.

YOU ARE THE MOTHER F-CKING BOSS OF YOUR WORLD!!!!

If your happy and you know it…

Oh baby you know it is exactly what you crave.

It is what your soul wants for you in every waking moment and with every breath you take.

It is your birth right.
It is how you were designed to be.

And yet you do not have it.

You instead choose to suffer.
You choose to ignore your truth.
You choose to say NO.

And you fall asleep at night wondering why this life does not support you the way you need or desire.

You wake in the mornings with thoughts of fear, stress, and frustration.

Never realizing that YOU,
Yes YOU…

have all the mother f-cking power.

You always have had it.
It has never been any other way.
You are the one.

You are the BOSS.
SO why do you keep allowing what you allow?

Why do you keep disapproving of everything that your soul craves,
that your heart wants.

Why do you turn away from what ignites you?

You know what I am speaking of,
that thing,

that thing that causes a great stir in your core,

that thing that makes your gut burn when you think about it,

that thing that if you leaning a little more into it and you admitted it,

TURNS YOU THE F-CK ON!!!!!

Yes that thing.
That thing that if you allow it to just f-cking sit there for the rest of your life like you have done since its conception so far, will LITERALLY
eat away at your soul.

So why are you willing to sacrifice your everything to avoid that which is your life mission?

Your calling.

Are you really the sort of person who is okay with walking away from your hearts truth?

Are you really good with dying with this sort of regret?

Are you really so f-cking content with your life of scarcity, fear and average and ordinary that you are going to continue to say no?

Or are you one of the .01% who decide to CLAIM THEIR LIVES?

I personally really don’t care what you decide,
I can hope for you,
like I do for everyone,
that you do what is best for your soul,
and in turn that will be best for everyone in your life,
and in our world.

But at the end of the day,
I know that there is no one that can get you to do it,

there is no one that can make a decision for you,

you can blame others,
you can sit around and say,
“Well if so and so had told me, had texted me, had spent more time with me, then I would have the passion, the drive, the knowing, the blah..blah..blah. that I need to embrace the life that I want. To do the things I know I need.”

The reality though is this:

YOU ARE THE MOTHER F-CKING BOSS OF YOUR WORLD!!!!

So start acting like it or don’t.
You can continue to sit around on your thumbs and blame, point fingers and cry in your whatever.

It won’t get you anywhere.
But you can certainly do it.

I can tell you that I won’t be there to support it though.

I won’t feel bad about it either.
I may empathize with you, as I have had plenty of moments like that myself,

but sympathy is a gift I will not bestow on you for your choice to remain a victim to your ego.

We all come into this world with the same opportunities.

You may disagree with me,
because you may look at the material world and think that just because someone is born into a life with money, more freedoms and liberties than another that they have some advantage over you.

But that is not so. 
That is not what I speak of this morning.

Sure those luxuries are nice and may help make one’s experience on the front side more pleasurable,
But they do not make a person

HAPPY.

And they do not guarantee that a person will live their

TRUTH
PURPOSE
or BLISS.

And these are the things your soul wants for you.

These are the things that keep you up,
make you feel the way that you do,
cause you pain, from not living.

Make you wonder if you know yourself,
or if happiness will ever happen for you,
have you feeling lost and though there is always something you must attain more of to try and fill this void that is with in you.

Baby you are wanting what all of us are wanting.

HAPPINESS.

And you are the only person who can provide it for yourself.

You must learn to allow it.
and here is another secret for you,
(since I like to share little secrets with you)

That happiness that you crave from a deep soul level is

THE THING

the very thing…
yeah remember that thing?

the thing that will give you all the abundance,

all the blessing,
that you desire as well.

You will not get the abundance and blessing first.

No you must first find your JOY.
Find your happiness.

And the money,
the sex,
the travel,
the material items,
the relationships,
will then follow.

It does not go the other way.
It is that simple.

SO why the f-ck are you denying yourself of what you were born to live?

Don’t worry, be happy 

Just be it.
Be it now.

And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

Join me in October for 5 weeks of transformation,
where YOU Claim Your LIFE in 2018 Once and For All.
Message me for details….
or
Become a VIP Client NOW!!!

Wanting, Willing & Taking – Understanding Desire

” A gift unopened is a gift not valued.”- KW

threesome

” There I lay with my legs spread wide open as I looked my lover in the eye’s. He was sweating, heated, passionate. Full of arousal and pleasure. His turn on was fulfilling at a deep level. With every thrust of his cock I could sense that this experience was beyond his anticipation and I was honored that I could gift him with it. As he thrusted himself into another’s woman pussy and she was devouring mine I could tell that the sheer act that I would be open to another woman going down on me and to make matters even more divine that she would be eating me out while he was having his way with her doggy style and getting to watch her enjoying me was by far the best Christmas present I could have come up with.

As she gasped for air and moaned from her pleasure and turn on he too became more aroused and leaned deeper into his own pleasure. From my vantage their joy and pleasure were beyond beauty. I found myself caught not in pleasure, not in rapture or orgasm of the physical realms but that of a deep emotional love for this man. In this moment I truly was not body present, if anything I was physically turned off from my own orgasm, but what I had discovered was a sexual giving that could not be touched and a beauty and appreciation for this world and our sex that I did not understand prior.

The adventure moved forward and before long I found myself in a 69 position with this woman and my partner now taking turns fucking her pussy up close and personal not more that a few inches away from eyes and face and then occasionally pulling out of her and thrusting deep into my mouth. Every time he switched from pussy to mouth or vise versa I could see the pulsing energy of his cock expand and he wanted so badly to take all that he could out of this moment. Once again I found myself hearing her moans, feeling her body on top of mine, her breathing changing and her body quivering, her pussy dripping with juices and wanting more but I could not feel her tongue, her lips and fingers as they danced along my vulva and found themselves in me. No, once again I was not able to truly drop down into my body and feel what was happening. But I could feel the high orgasmic energy of my partner and of our playmate. In this instance I found a new arousal yet again, it was a sort of mystery and joy combined in some sexual dance as I watched his cock and balls penetrate and slap up against her and then felt him not just quiver but literally vibrate as he penetrated my mouth. Holding his very hard cock deep in my throat, just past that tight spot I could get little gasps of air as he pulsed and moaned. This, this made me aroused. This activated me some.

Before long I was now on my back, our playmate sitting back sharing how great her view was. My pussy wide open before her and my partner now between my legs now taking me fully while she watched and masturbated to our live lovemaking scene. I could hear her moan, I could smell her in the room. His groans and growls with his ever deepening penetration was a turn on but once again, it was a mental and emotional turn on, it was a deeply intimate affair that made my heart leap with joy but my orgasm was no where to be found physically.”

This was a small take away from my first ever threesome with another woman. I had decided that I was going to gift my partner with something that he had always desired. A fantasy of his and I was over joyed that the whole experience was so beautiful. I still hold so much gratitude to the woman that we chose to share this moment with and who helped to deepen our intimacy as a couple. I wanted to gift the man I love with something I knew he had never been given and I was ecstatic that I was a woman who was willing to play in territories that were not always comfortable or about myself. I had not always been this way, my self-doubt, guilt, shame and concepts of giving and receiving had changed tremendously through the years and still do from time to time as I learn about myself and my own needs and desires. However I can say that the ability to share oneself without a need to receive is something that I cherish in myself. I also cherish the fact that I am extremely comfortable stating my boundaries and desires as well as needs in these areas.

As much as I love to give without receiving I also am not afraid to ask for what I desire. I have learned that giving of this nature can only happen when I myself am in a state of fullness and even better if my cup runneth over with orgasmic bliss already, as in these times are when I am not only willing to give and excited about it, but I want to give freely. In such moments I find my orgasm in others. I feel it when they express their joy, their pleasure. I feel my turn on not in the physical but in my heart and I experience a deeper layer of orgasmic living through this. These moments to me are very unsexual. They are playful education that help me remain in a state of acceptance, appreciation and openness.

This is where one’s willingness and wanting come together in a perfect dance to share love with someone in a special format that is not often understood by any of the parties in the moment it is happening. This is sharing of the unconditional sort.

Willingness Vs. Wanting

We all think that we understand the difference of these two. It seem’s pretty simple. Does it not?

“I am willing to help you move this weekend even though I actually want to just crash and veg on the couch because I am exhausted from the week.”

“I want to go to see Doctor Strange but am willing to see Moana instead.”

These are simple things to see the act of willingness with. The act of giving to another and not doing exactly what we want in the moment so that another can have pleasure with us, or through us  or accomplish something that they might need or want to but would like our help with. This does not make the person receiving self-centered. It does allow them to be selfish though and selfishness is not a bad thing as long as we are willing to be grateful for it, give back when possible and do not ever put another into a situation of harm or trauma.

When we are self-centered we tend to not be concerned about others. In these times we express our desires for what we feel are our needs or wants and we do not stop to think about the cost to others, nor do we care. When we are self-centered we are like a bull in a friends china shop and we disregard everything but what we are focused on. We also typically do not allow for space to occur for someone else to make a decision of how they feel or if they want, are willing or otherwise around whatever we are pushing for.

Let me share a brief story to help clarify self-centeredness in sexing:

A few years back I worked with a couple and the main spiff they had was around anal sex. The man loved anal sex and the woman occasionally liked it but most of the time was not interested as it was not her major turn on and she had even been hurt during it a few times. The husband could not understand why his wife would not always enjoy this practice so he thought that if he insisted on doing it more consistently and “assured her” that she liked it during the process that she would get a clue and start to enjoy it as much as he did.

When I spoke to the husband he always shared his concern that she was not understanding how great this act was or her own pleasure. He was convinced that her complaints were false and that for some reason she was just trying to take away his pleasure. When I spoke with the wife she shared that it hurt horribly and his aggressive nature, lack of asking her if she was wanting or even willing to play like this caused her a lot of stress. She was ready to pull the plug on the marriage if it continued. And she did in the end. The husband was shocked that she would divorce him for asking for what he wanted and it being such a small matter at that.

This couple shares a true tale of one partner being self-centered and ONLY concerned about his own pleasure and gratification. To the point of insisting that his wife did not understand what was happening with her own body and emotions.

That is not selflishness though!

Selfishness is another animal all together. We miss use the word all the time and therefore tend to wrap guilt and shame around something that is actually needed and we should have more of.
Yes I just said that you and I alike NEED to be selfish more!

Selfishness is when we ask for what we need. Selfishness does not mean that we will always get what we are asking for or that we should, it simply says that we know that we need something and that we know that we need to take care of ourselves. If we need another to help us fulfill this then we need to ask for it but if we can achieve it without another or can look elsewhere then often it is more than okay to do this as long as we remain in openness and integrity.

An example of being selfish would be:

After I had my seventh child I was having a really tough time gaining feeling back in my vaginal walls. It took me almost twice as long as previous postpartums. That did not stop my libido though, but the over tiredness and toddler who slept between my partner and myself plus the newborn did not make for the best of grounds for getting back in the saddle. On top of it when my partner and I had sex I could hardly feel him and could not orgasm. This all started doing a mind fuck on me and I found myself not interested in sex with my partner the way that I wanted to be. I knew that I was depleted of orgasmic energy and all the good hormones that get released and help support our bodies emotionally, mentally and physically when we are full on orgasm. I knew that if I did not get this soon that I would sink into depression even further and my old programs would have a better grip on me than normal. I knew that if I did not take care of myself and frequently that I would loose so much of myself and not be able to give to the world any more. So I took matters into my own hands and got SELFISH!!!!

I masturbated every morning. Being in an open relationship also allowed me to ask for more sex with not just my one partner but to pull in my other partner as well and start working my orgasm out in anyway possible. I asked my partners to go down on me, I asked to use toys, I even created some hot scenes that were playful and shared them and said that I wanted to try them. From someone looking in they may have said, ” This woman is a sex addict, she needs help, she is not thinking about anyone but herself.” They would have been right about one thing, I needed help, I needed to help myself and be selfish and I needed support from those who loved me.

Wanting, willing and taking. When we fully understand the differences we should be able to see the positive and negative that they all carry with them, just like anything in life.

Sometimes our wanting is so strong that it makes us forget about others. Other times our wanting is an act of sharing or a desire that we hope will be granted or at least heard in love and acceptance so that we can feel closer and more seen.

Our willingness is often based on one of three things:

*Love or care for another
*Guilt
*Compromise or control

The last two are based in fear and not even acts of selflessness, but acts of victim-hood and an inability to stand up for our own needs and boundaries. The first is based in love and often is unconditional and if it is conditional we are quick to set our terms.

When we speak of taking, it sounds so mean. Like we are stealing something or causing harm to another by taking. This is only sometimes true. Once again look at the motive behind the act. Look at the act itself. And most importantly realize that in any healthy relationship that one can ONLY take what is offered otherwise it is not a healthy relationship to start with. If you are taking without  being offered then you need to examine your actions and realize that you are causing trauma. If you take something that is being offered  authentically with no ill emotional back lash (i.e. guilt) then you are honoring your relationship and the gift bestowed upon you.

We take forcefully and we also take what we are being gifted. Ask yourself which it is and then choose wisely.

Honor those you love through the  act of unconditional sharing and through the art of receiving. Remember that the gifts given that are unconditional are often the most beautiful.

—KW
*Image from Samarel Liquid Erotica

A Need for Connection

neednudeFor anyone that I work with face to face, you know that I have a white board in my office where I update according to what spirit guides to share and leave special quotes and thoughts, questions on this board for all my beautiful peep’s to explore internally. Recently one of my statements was, ” We connect through our drama.” This statement caught some attention and caused a few people to question if this was accurate or if they felt other wise. In my coaching I do many coaching calls with people all over the place and one of my dear clients I was speaking with brought out a comment from me that I felt pertinent to share here as well as further thought on it.
The comment from me was: “Through looking for approval we also gain connection.”
This comment seems to being hanging out in my practice right now. It keeps coming up with so many people. The questions/thought that follow it are:
  • Is asking for approval needy?
  • If this is so then this is why I don’t do it as much when I am feeling confident and centered in myself.
  • But when I have confidence and don’t need approval or opinions from others then is this disconnect?
  • So what is the best chosen path: disconnection or looking for connection through approval? How do they each benefit me?
Yes looking for approval and opinion is connection based. Is this needy?
It can be, but not always. We as human beings need connection for basic survival and health. Our psyche’s health depends on connection. For the same reason we create drama in our lives – which is another connection based activity– we also look for approval, insight, opinion. We as well down play our greatness or blessings and we build up our trauma or pain. These are tools of connection.
What you have to truly look at is what sort of connection are you desiring?
There are many levels of connection.
For the most part many people say they want a deep connection and to be authentically seen but if given the opportunity to have this they become scared and sabotage it through ego based relating. The majority of relationships, may they be friendships, work or intimate, even marriages and with children are surface connections. To authentically relate and allow yourself to be seen and felt as well as remain open to seeing and feeling another at this level is an incredibly hard space to stand in. Yet is a desire for most.
Confidence is something that only serves us if we are acting from our heart space, our soul. If we are in ego then confidence will disconnect us and actually come across as cockiness. A confident person is not a disconnected person. A confident person is someone willing to open themselves up and be seen, be felt, be human. They are comfortable asking for what they need, desire and they are also comfortable with hearing another’s authentic answer even if it means that the other is not good with giving what has been asked. Confidence is courage. Courage to see ones ego. Courage to make mistakes and ask questions. Courage to face the reality that our old programs will always pop up to haunt us and the only thing we can do is get better at seeing them and then acting differently. Courage to love ourselves just as we are and forgive ourselves for our past’s. Courage to embrace those that frustrate, hurt, anger or sadden us and realize that some where in our past we too have been guilty of doing the same in a similar energy, therefore there is no need to try and change where another is but just accept that their path is what it is as ours is as well.
The only way we disconnect is to shut ourselves down from the beauty of opening up.
When we choose openness and love we choose connection. First with ourselves (as the relationship we have with self is the set-point for all other relationships) and then with those in our lives.
So what is the best path? The best path is the one you are on. The best path is to learn to love and fully accept yourself in all your humanness. This is the ONLY path and you are never off of it, it is always with you and you will be traveling it even when you feel you are lost.
–KW
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Feeling like you could use direction, guidance, support or opening to your authentic self?
So here is where more than my Naked Musings come into play! How can I help you be the best you that YOU desire and crave Living that Fuck Yes Life that you know at your core is waiting for you but scares the hell out of you? Reach out to me to explore one of my Orgasm Coaching Programs for men, women and couples or email me (tantrictransformation@gmail.com) about getting on the waiting list for the VIP Fuck Yes to Life Coaching that is coming this Fall 2016!