CAN WE JUST F-CKING STOP WITH BEAUTIFUL.

CAN WE JUST F-CKING STOP WITH BEAUTIFUL.

Seriously,

you say that word so often I do not think it is achieving the results that you think it is achieving.

 

On any day of the week,

I get the comment of “Beautiful” at least ten times from random people ( mostly men) who want to share it with me.

 

And the reality is this,

The statement of “Beautiful.”

Is a surface AF statement.

It will get you nowhere in a hurry with a woman who values herself,

who understands that her true beauty is not something you appreciate just from her skin that is barred or the clothes that she has on,

it has nothing to do with the smile on her face,

or if she is nice to you.

Beauty is something so much deeper.

It comes from a place of knowing oneself.

Of loving oneself,

even the shadow lands of our character.

Beauty comes from feeling good in our own skin,

and when someone over uses such a compliment,

it actually starts to rub raw,

and cause you to not take in the compliment.

 

Every human being NEEDS to have words of affirmation.

Every human being needs to learn how to breathe into compliments and own their worth,

but surface AF statement that are easy to say and show that you know NOTHING about the person,

are not anything to sport about saying.

 

Especially with a woman.

 

SO this musing is going out to all you gents who tell me and other amazing AF powerful women that you find us BEAUTIFUL.

 

That you would love to show us what you can do with your whatever you desire to touch and taste us with,

That you love how our hair looks,

our clothes fit us,

or the angle we opted to take a picture from.

 

Yeah those comments that you believe will land you in our panties and hearts,

HA! We think not.

 

For a true compliment is spoken from a place of presence,

it is stated about a person’s depth and light.

A compliment that makes you stand out in the crowd of all those fools who think that some cartoon dog blowing random AF kisses, or I love you’s is going to get somewhere other than an eye roll and quickening in our scroll,

if you truly desire to make an impression…

 

THEN SLOW THE F-CK DOWN….

and pay some attention.

 

You need to actually listen,

watch and read,

you need to make statements that show that you were into what that person was sharing,

you need to let yourself absorb who you are watching,

and not from a place where she gets me off to watch.

 

This also applies to anyone who is taking a woman to bed,

if you are so lucky to have her open herself to you,

then remember this….

 

You can leave a good impression,

a bad impression ,

or a F-cking Spectacular impression.

 

The choice is yours.

And it all comes down to how you slow the f-ck down and get present with her.

 

If you think you know a woman,

and how to f-ck her wide open,

awesome…. but I question your cockiness.

Because I know women,

and we bore easily and rarely want to hurt your delicate ego’s, so we let you believe that you know,

and then roll our eyes and share our frustrations with our friends about how clueless you are,

and how surface AF our sex is with you.

 

A woman who loves herself and knows her value,

will not keep around a man or partner for any amount of real time who cannot prove that they can go deep with her.

If our partner is not willing to slow the f-ck down and value us the way that we know we should be,

then “bye, bye… don’t let the door hit you on your way out of my life.”

 

A woman who keeps a surface level lover around,

is a woman who does not know herself yet and has not learned her value.

 

The facts are simple and they start with how we relate outside the bedroom.

 

Ladies if you feel all fluttery and excited about that want to be average joe who said beautiful on one of your pictures,

then I question how much love you have for self.

Because that man… that man is a little boy who has not learned how to be with a woman yet and cannot handle his own depth or the light that you have to offer.

 

And gents,

if you are one of these dudes that offer up easy to spell one word comments, but then turn around and ask a woman a question that you already have access to the answer of…

 

(by taking the time in our social media world… and I mean like maybe 2 minutes of time….you can discover how old someone is, where they are from or live, if they are single or coupled, open or not, kids, what they do and even their likes)

 

THEN JUST F-CKING STOP ALREADY.

 

Your words are wasted on those of us who value ourselves.

 

We do not need your statements of beautiful or what you desire to do to us or with us,

we laugh at you,

we shake our heads at your silliness and we keep scrolling.

You don’t have a chance,

so go find someone who may better suit you.

 

There is someone for everyone,

or so they say.

 

But I,

I am not the one who will fall prey to your mediocre compliments with no depth or care.

 

Just like all the other queens out there who get what I am sharing here in this musing today.

 

Level up your relating guys!

Level up who you are.

You want to attract a MF Queen….

Then you cannot just pretend to play King….

You gotta be one.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn how to attract your Queen?

Want to know what it means to be a King in life and relationships.

It’s a vibrational thing baby.

It’s about embracing your worthiness and loving yourself.

male or female,

This is where our power comes from.

 

Let me share with you the journey to THRIVING.

F-ck Yes!

Message me for deet’s.

Random Morning Conversations – Pedophiles to Compliments That Trigger.

There I was sitting on my bed naked with my morning cup of coffee when he said it….

 

I know what he was saying was to be a compliment.

I know that what he meant was that I was amazing and that he loved me.

I logically understand.

But that’s not how it translated after it got grabbed up by a wound from my past.

 

Okay so let me explain about what I am saying here.

You see in my house we have this thing,

“Morning Conversations”

and you simply never know where these conversations will go,

nor how they will get stirred up and be birthed either.

It is drastically different each day.

 

Yesterday morning,

after some decent sexing,

I found my lover and I in bed,

I was naked drinking my morning cup of coffee,

I opened my phone and saw something on all the pedphillia conversations that are currently bouncing around. It struck a chord with me instantly and I shared with him my utter disgust and anger on the concept that pedaphillia should be accepted as a representation of love. I showed him an image that is being put up in Denver, Colorado right now of a rainbow background and silhouette of a man and small child that might be four years at best chasing butterflies, the image says, 

 

” Pedophiles are people too. Because Love is Love.”

 

My share to him on this topic was that yeah, pedophiles are people too, but having sexual feelings or engagement toward a child, especially a small child is not love and that a child does not have the emotional/mental or physical maturity to understand. These “people” are stealing not just the innocents of our children but actually causing emotional/mental and physical damage to the child.

 

And that sure AF is not okay and  is NOT love.

 

After that conversation and agreement on the topic, I told him I needed to get to work and write a musing for the day and that my topic was going to be,

 

“My boyfriend would be perceived a sex addict if he was dating someone else…”

 

To this he smiled at me and said,

 

“If you were with you, you would be a sex addict too.”

 

And this is where it all went dark folks.

In his compliment he unknowingly triggered an old wound.

Now an average and normal woman would have said something coy, kicked the statement out without too much attention, or done whatever she could to change topics if she were triggered,

but not I…..

 

I paused,

took a deep breath and allowed myself to feel the trigger.

To feel this wound that just got scratched.

I looked at the wound,

identified that it was not in current and that he had no ill will in his statement.

However, the truth was it triggered me.

And I did not want to spend my day retracted from him or life in general with this trigger and wound playing tennis in my psyche.

So I spoke up.

I said,

“That was a triggering statement you just made.”

And then I shared why.

I shared that four years prior when I was in an open relationship,

I found myself in a threesome with my primary two lovers,

who’s intent was to create a yummie experience one day for me where they would both ravish me and we would play and enjoy one another.

However my ex got so excited he did not apply the time or attention needed to my physical body that I needed him to take.

Even though I was highly turned on,

my physical being was not caught up to my mental and emotional turn on for the experience.

And he quickly grabbed a glass dildo with no lube on it and penetrated me with it,

unfortunately it was rough at entry and because I was not organically lubricated yet it tore the delicate skin of my vaginal lining,

leaving me feeling torn and burning for days to come.

He did not take much time going down on me as he was too excited about the whole event and penetrated me quickly after removing the glass dildo.

His hast and excitement level created the scenario of him being a two pump chump in this moment,

and he came so quickly that I barely even knew what had happened.

He then looked at me and said,

 

“If you were not so hot I could withhold it better.”

 

Again, I believe that his intent was to compliment,

but what he actually was doing was blaming me,

making me responsible for his inability to last,

to be in control of his body,

his thoughts and feelings,

his sexual energy.

And he tossed his power over to me and made me responsible.

My feeling after hearing this was,

” I need to not be me.”

I felt like if I did not moan that way,

if I was not playful like I am,

If my body did not look like this,

If I was not open the way I am,

If…

If…

If…

 

Then he would be able to stay with me longer,

last longer and I too could engage in pleasure in these moments.

It was my fault that my partner has premature ejaculation issues.

 

Fast forward to current moment and my partner telling me that if I was with me, I would be a sex addict too….

 

This too speaks that I am responsible for my partners thoughts, actions, desires, habits, feelings, etc.

 

He is not responsible.

He is innocent and cannot help himself.

It’s my fault for being me the way that i am that causes the issues,

So what should I do if I am not okay with an issue?

 

Well I need to shut my shit down.

I need to not be as turned on.

I need to guard my moans.

I need to go limp.

I need to not engage in sex.

I need to not dress this way or that.

I need to not be as playful.

I need to change myself so that he can handle being around me.

 

But THIS is not what men want their women to do in truth.

And most men don’t actually believe that it’s the woman’s fault that they have weak stamina or high turn on.

Not fully that is.

They do however blame her to a degree,

just like she takes responsibility.

 

It’s because of how we were raised.

Girls are told from a young age that we are responsible for how boys look at us.

How they speak to us.

That if we wear yoga pants then we are at fault for a guy thinking things or desiring things.

If a girl or woman gets raped or any sexual harassment then its her fault typically because she was asking for it based on her looks, choice in clothes, attitude, playfulness, how she blinked or smiled, etc.

 

And guys are told that,

“Boys will be boys and that they cannot help it.”

 

This all steals one’s individual power from them. 

Men become disempowered by escaping responsibility for their own consciousness or lack thereof, their feelings, desires and actions, they get to turn away from and hand the reins of power over to the woman. 

 

Women lose their power by believing this responsibility transfer and shutting themselves down, changing who they are so to not cause issues. 

 

I believe that Namaste Moore puts its so well, 

And her statement is true for ALL subjects of our life.

 

“People who are not conscious about their OWN power will always sound the alarm about other people’s power. People who recognize their own power… understand that no one has power over them and they have power over no one else. Freedom.”

 

It’s easy to see the truth in this statement when we look at some of the political and world topics of current, 

But can you see its truth in our sexing and relationships as well. 

Because it’s there too. 

 

In owning that we get triggered, 

In speaking up about what is stirring in us as to prevent separation from self and thus another and life, 

We reclaim our power. 

In pausing on our words and asking ourselves, 

“Is this a statement of love or of fear?”

In looking at what our words are actually speaking, 

Because often we try to compliment but in truth a transfer of our power to another is happening. 

And when these transfers in power happen we create chaos in our relationships, 

In communication we thus create contrast that feels uncomfortable because we are not consciously processing and taking responsibility for our own inner shadow lands. 

 

Today look at your relationships. 

Look at your sexing. 

Look at your expectations and desires. 

And ask yourself if you are owning your power or handing it over to someone else?

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn how you can claim your power and have a turned on life and relationship?

Reach out to me today for deet’s on couples or individual coaching now.