GET OUT OF YOUR OWN LIGHT.

THE FUTURE IS ALWAYS BRIGHT…. NO MATTER THE SHADOW OF THE MOUNTAIN.

 

Recently my life partner and I drove up to Pikes Peak in Colorado together. It was bitter cold out, the fresh snow lay everywhere. People flocked to sled and enjoy snow ball fights.

The crisp winter wind felt amazing on my flesh as I stood there looking out over the valley that lay at the base of the peak.

 

I recall at one moment, standing with my partner’s arms around me. We looked out at the vastness before us,

and I could feel the message of the universe in that moment.

There we were, in the shadow of Pikes Peak, a great mountain blocking the rays of the warm sun, a crisp snowy breeze blowing around us, and we felt limitless in that space.

 

We felt grounded.

Stroung.

and in love with life.

Clarity in what we wanted and the path that we had chosen together was our guiding light.

Just like the miles that stretched out in front of this mountain were sunstruck, warm and bright, so was our future.

 

And I was reminded…

That you cannot always pre-map out the journey.

Often great things come unexpected.

However,

 

YOU WILL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS YOURS.

 

If you believe that your possibilities are limitless,

then they are.

If you believe that you are surrounded and held in love,

then you are.

If you believe that you can live a life of abundance, adventure and joy,

then you can.

 

The problem is that so often we choose to own our worst nightmares.

 

We choose to focus in on what we don’t have and accept it as our reality,

we purchase that for our life destination and journey instead of what we claim that we hunger for at our souls level.

 

And THIS REALITY IS SO THEN.

You may say that you did not plan for all the shit to happen,

that its not in your plan or picture to stand there without a great love in your life,

or to believe that you always lose in love.

You may claim that its not in your agenda to create financial destruction,

the loss of house and home,

divorce, strife and health issues,

but honey, the reality is that you are looking for it.

 

This time of Covid has proven to me just how many people leap at the opportunity to jump into their victim status,

I see so many people wanting to test positive for the Rona,

saying,

” I am sick. I must have the Rone.”

 

or blaming the economy because of critical times for their financial pictures,

their relationship stress.

Their “inability” to get out and do things,

for their weight gain, poor eating and sluggish habits.

 

Well if your hidden agenda is to be a victim,

then guess what luv,

YOU WILL BE A MF VICTIM.

 

And you will stay in the shadow of life,

in the shadow of all those who choose differently.

You will stand there,

and be a spectator to others thriving,

because you planned to be limited by life.

 

YOU EXPECT TO BE LIMITED.

 

And you will only ever get as far as you plan.

Or you could open up those plans to the possibilities that YOU ARE IN FACT LIMITLESS.

 

Unless, that scares you too much, of course.

Because that might require you to step out of the herd,

and grow a pair.

That might demand of you to go digging deeper inside yourself then you have ever gone before.

That might require you to look good and hard at your inner demons ,

those thoughts, fears, desires, and opinions,

that are holding you the f-ck back.

 

Now granted you can continue down that path you are on,

you can plot it out,

step by step,

and you can prepare for the worst case scenarios in every which way possible,

and you can stand guard.

Pick your MF armour up and be ready to battle life at every perceived turn,

and sure that might not be bad,

if your goal in life is to survive it long enough to die anyway,

and look back at a empty path,

where you retreated and warred with anything that caused you to expand.

With anything that asked you to trust in your heart and soul.

That required you to have it to leap and open your wings.

 

Sure you can get by like that.

The majority of folks do.

 

But thats all they do,

GET BY.

 

And sit there in the land of spectatorship.

Wishing for something more.

Questioning why others always have, do and create.

Not feeling fulfilled.

Seen.

Truly loved.

 

Or…

 

You could do something a bit differently and step out of the crowd.

You could realize that the valley before you lit up with all that radiant glory,

is yours for the taking.

 

It will just require you to have a higher perspective on life.

To tap the f-ck into your truth,

and to have enough courage to say F-ck Yes! To You.

 

This Is not average and ordinary living.

No.

What I am proclaiming and believe is accessible and our right as humans is to live limitless and THRIVE.

 

That we each are worthy beyond measure of just that.

That our dreams and desires are set before us not to tease us,

not to cause us disappointment in life and self,

or point out our lack or inabilities,

but instead they are put there,

 

FOR THE TAKING.

 

They are there because they are rightfully ours to begin with.

 

They WILL REQUIRE us to become a match to them.

 

They will require that we step out of our comfort zones.

They will require that we expand,

that we open ourselves up to our limitlessness.

 

They will without a doubt require that WE KNOW WHAT WE WANT.

 

And the courage to gain all that we want and feel that depth and level of fulfillment,

well it will only come when we stop standing in the way of our own sunshine as Waldo Emerson said.

 

Because the reality is….

That most of the mountains that we believe are blocking our path and our great plans,

are only us standing in our own sunshine.

 

 

Time to set yourself free baby.

Time to know your truth.

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to make 2021 your year to be limitless?

Let’s get started today with a course change.

Reach out to me about 1:1 opportunities and group events as well.

IF YOU EVER LOVED ME.

IF YOU EVER LOVED ME.

 

If you ever loved me you would not let me hurt like this.

If you ever loved me you would rethink your actions.

If you ever loved me you would take the time to hear me.

If you ever loved me you would want to share.

If you ever loved me you would give me closure.

If you ever loved me you would make this all go away.

 

And so many other if you ever statements.

 

Boy, oh boy  do I ever understand the pain of loss.

The pain of break up, divorce, seperation, being lied to and abandoned.

 

I understand how it feels when our worlds crash,

when our beautiful plans seize to exist,

and it all seems like it happens within a flash of time.

 

How can this other person who loves us,

or at least proclaimed that they did,

or at very least said that they cared,

just walk away?

 

How can they turn their backs to us and just keep on living their lives?

 

Don’t they care?

 

And so the story of love and loss goes on throughout all time.

And so our hearts expand and we are elated when those that we love are turned toward us,

and when they are no longer by our side we crash into pain and suffering. Feeling abandoned.

Feeling as though we spent all this time in a lie.

 

It just cannot be so.

It certainly is not fair or right,

and we don’t have it coming to us.

 

Right?

I mean how is it possible that this sort of thing could be of our own doing?

 

“THAT” other person made those decisions,

acted that way, said those things and lied to us,

after all.  We would not bring this upon ourselves.

 

Well I can tell you this beautiful,

YOU MOST CERTAINLY DID BRING IT UPON YOURSELF.

 

One of two things happened.

Your vibe either went up past the other person or it crashed below them.

Either way it held there for a long enough period of time and was a great enough difference in frequency that the two of you were no longer in alignment and thus the relationship had to end.

 

So which direction did you go?

This is actually the important thing to question if you truly give a sh*t about your future and who you are.

 

If you love yourself that is.

And so many people just don’t.

Hope that this is not you though.

 

You can tell what direction you went by looking at your thoughts,

your feelings and your actions.

 

If you are the one who leveled up your frequency then this relationship transition will be pretty smooth and easy. You may be in pain, you may feel a tad lost, you may want closure even but at the end of the day you will recognize that the most loving this you can ever offer someone is space to expand, to be them and to have a beautiful life with or without you and in this case it means without you. That may be a stinger, but a high vibe soul will walk away in love and know that the lessons offered in that relationship were powerful, perfect and have helped them gain clarity in who they are and what they want. A high vibe soul will know that what they need to do now is turn their full attention to themselves and clearing out anything that no longer serves them from within.

 

A high vibe soul will be in appreciation and gratitude for the relationship and the break up.

 

Yep I said that.

Gratitude for the break up,

because they see its purpose.

 

However, a low vibe soul will flounder in pain, suffering and blame.

They will demand attention and stomp around like a three year old having a tantrum. They will act out in childish ways, trying to cause pain in hope of gaining attention from the one they lost. They will not be able to take responsibility for their part in the transition and they will feel as though they simply cannot move forward until the other person does this or that to clear things up for them.

They will focus on fear and they will want the other to feel pain as well.

 

They will not see the growth and opportunity that the transition brings with it, but instead see destruction and attack.

A low vibe soul cannot see past their own ego to find the love that was there in the relationship and still remains.

A low vibe soul is caught in their own inner hell where they will reside until they choose to view life differently and take responsibility for the events, thoughts and feelings that are all thiers. They will be destined to repeat the drama that they believe is happening to them over and over again, where they will mask themselves from their beauty, their core and alignment to God all in the concept that “it’s not fair.”

 

So you see beautiful,

It is very important that you know what direction you went in the transition. It says bundles as to where you are now and what you are manifesting for your future.

It shows just how much love you have for yourself and whether you  understand how powerful you are.

 

Because you are powerful.

You co-created this transition for the purpose of becoming more of WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

 

No matter the direction you went ( up or down in frequency) this fact remains the same.

 

Now the only thing you need worry about is not if the other loved you, or still does, but if you love you enough to let go and thrive.

 

You are so f-cking worthy of a F-ck Yes! Life.

It’s time that you recognize that and see that ALL relationships are here to elevate you, educate you and clarify what you want and who you really are.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to kick 2021 off with a high vibe and call in the relationship of your dreams? Meet your soulmate and know that you really got this? Message me for deet’s on what I have in store to make just this happen and more for YOU.

WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO FACE WHO YOU ARE.

WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO FACE WHO YOU ARE.
 
You find yourself out of MF Alignment in your life left and right.
Nothing works for you.
 
People get super judgy,
you cannot seem to do anything right,
and the more you focus on how you are not getting it right,
you mess it up even more and you find yourself overwhelmed,
overworked, depressed, anxious and lost.
 
You try everything it seems,
but nothing fits right.
You tell yourself that you are in alignment with your love life,
with your finances,
your passion and your work,
You claim to love who you are even though you still know you have work to do,
and you understand from a mental space how important your thoughts and feelings are to manifesting your desired life.
 
YOU GET IT.
You really do,
but you are still fucking it up somehow.
 
And this makes you crazy on the inside.
This makes you feel unworthy,
makes you feel like no one cares,
and your ego runs wild with its success of overtaking you in all areas.
But you don’t see it clearly.
Instead you go into self-loathing,
you dance in the land of feeling not good enough,
and you beat yourself down even more.
 
You are caught in the tidle wave of ego owning your ass.
And you are drowning.
 
And strangly you are enjoying it.
As crazy as that seems,
I mean why in the world would you focus on making yourself feel bad?
why would you support manifesting hell in your life?
Its not fun.
Its not making you happy.
Its not serving you at all.
But yet YOU ARE DOING IT.
 
And you are loving it.
It feels good to be right about something.
It feels good to manifest exactly what you have always received and keeping things the way that you are familiar with,
the way that you expect,
keeps you comfortable.
 
It won’t rattle your cage.
It keeps you safe because you KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT what you are getting.
 
And if you had chosen to drop all this shitty shit and allow yourself joy, happiness and love to flow in instead,
you would have then to much to loose.
 
I mean if you allow yourself to actually be happy and abundant,
then what if it changes back to what you have always known to be true?
 
Then you will find yourself possibly in worse shoes then where you are now,
comfortable with your suffering that you have set up residence in.
 
And so you make sure that before you can actually enjoy the blessings that are on thier way to you from all these years of desiring a better life,
that you push it all away from you.
 
You run away from it and cause a scene so that you can point fingers and say,
“See I knew that was going to happen, because that is the way it always is. “
 
You commit to your suffering.
You commit to keeping yourself right where you have always been.
You are one MF loyal AF human to your undesired life.
 
Good job my dear powerhouse manifestor.
You rock in your ability to get what you ask for.
In calling in what you focus on.
 
You are a MF magician.
That is for sure.
 
So stop bitching about the shitty shit that you got going on.
You have been focused on it showing up and being here all this time and so it has to show up and be here.
 
And the funnier thing is,
you think that by acting like someone that you are not,
by providing life a fake smile,
by focusing in on actions that are not in alignment to you authentically,
by looking at the world and those who are aligned and making good shit happen,
that if you copy cat them that life will just magically give you what they have,
well…
 
Your are stupid.
 
Cuz, life will never give you another humans expereinces.
Life will ONLY give you your expereinces.
 
Your energy is yours.
And you can have everything that you want and that you see others creating as well,
but you gotta get aligned to YOU first and be MF HAPPY with who you are first.
 
Or not…..
 
You can also just keep doing what you have been and getting what you have been and pointing fingers,
getting triggered and have knee jerk reactions to everything that you are not happy with,
and just keep that beautiful focus on getting what you don’t want by talking about it to everyone you can,
by waking up and daydreaming about your misery and how rough life has been,
by being jelly over others,
and by effing duplicating what you think will get you there,
but ignoring WHO THE FUCK YOU REALLY ARE.
 
Because you are afraid of your power,
afriad of your happiness and abundance,
afraid of the opinions, judgements and ideas of others if you actually JUST BE BEAUTIFUL YOU.
 
And because of you not facing this truth my dear MF Manifestor,
you will continue to put yourself on repeat to everything that you do not want.
 
As long as you keep denying your truth and trying to make others truth yours,
you will never have what you want.
But you will continue to get what you focus on.
 
That is for sure.
becaus ethat is how it works.
 
Life does nolt give a shit about what you think is fair or not.
Life does not hear that you do not want this or that.
Life does not care about your forced actions.
 
Life gives you what you focus on.
Life gives you what you are commited too.
And THAT,
THAT is why you got everything that you expect.
 
So what are you going to do about it?
 
We will all find out soon enough,
your life will show us.
Your manifestations will certainly show exactly what you have been commited too.
 
COMMIT WISELY.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start living
“Coaching for Grown Ass Believers”
 
Want ro get clear focus to over coming the struggles of life?
Take advantage if Asskickery October.
Where I will Lovington kick your ASS into alignment of your goals.
No mattwr where you are in this world.
Reach out to me.
Offer is limited.
 

I Yearn For So Much More In My Life.

YEARNING.

CRAVING.

A hunger that you just can not fill.

 

This has been something that I have been playing with the last few months.

 

Shit…

that’s not true.

It’s been something that I have been dancing around with for years now.

And I am f-cking hungry!

 

Which makes me irritable.

Makes me depressed some days.

Makes me look out into my life and question all that I have and all that I want,

and makes me look at what I am blessed with and say,

“Is this as good as it gets?”

 

I sound like a spoiled rotten bitch though when I say that.

And perhaps I have become one.

And maybe…

maybe I am supposed to be one.

maybe you are too.

 

Maybe, just maybe we are all supposed to want for more in our lives.

In our love and in our sex.

 

But the fear of being perceived as greedy,

as selfish,

and not appreciative stops us from going after what we want for.

 

The fear of what others will think.

That is the leading sabotager of our dreams.

And damn we are really good at finding reasons that we cannot be fulfilled in life.

Why we “should” settle,

and why we need to just shut up, sit down and stop searching, stop craving, stop wanting.

 

We are great at thinking that there is something wrong with us,

that we are bad people because we want for more.

Especially when we are a people of so many blessings.

 

 

The reality though love is something totally different.

The reality is that the way that this universe and God evolve and expand is through our wanting.

Our desires birth into existence everything that we currently have and everything that will ever be.

The issue with our desires is that they make those around us uncomfortable.

Especially when we start speaking about our sex and money.

These two things we are damned for no matter which way we turn.

If we want more of them then we are damned and greedy, we are sluts and only focused on gratification of self.

If we want for less of them or allow less of them in our lives then we are told that we are not worthy of everything else in life because we don’t have enough of these two things which means that we are unattractive, stupid, weak, disliked, etc.

 

So no matter what we do, when it comes to our sex and our money we are f-cked and not in a fun or good fashion.

 

So what can we do with these unholy hungers that we have and we run and try and hide from but that creep up and make themselves known in the most inopportune moments?

 

How do we curb our cravings to have the love, the sex, the money and abundance without feeling shameful and guilty for wanting more or better? Or any for that matter.

Or for wanting to change things up and play with what we have to try and create something more robust and expansive?

 

First we have to KNOW…

I mean truly KNOW with all the certainty that we can muster up that WANTING is natural and healthy.

The craving for something is a showing that our soul wants it for us as well and is already in pursuit for it and has found a path.

The negative emotions that stem from our craving of wanting something more and better reveals that we are out of alignment with our soul and with our power. We would not be able to feel this negative vibe if we were in alignment.

You see when we are in alignment we feel f-cking great.

We are focused,

we are clear minded,

we feel powerful and turned on to life,

We have confidence and are loose in our life, able to flow toward what we are wanting because we are allowing ourselves to be taken to it versus constricting ourselves and causing ourselves to get caught up in worry and fear.

 

Next we have to realize that ALL things…

Did you read that?

 

ALL THINGS CHANGE.

They must change.

In order for us to grow,

to heal,

to expand,

to gain what we claim we want,

in any subject area of life,

we must allow for evolution to occur.

We cannot have what we want by remaining the same person that we are today.

Even if we have a dynamic relationship,

fantastic sex,

a bank full of money,

great health and everything that we “think” that we can want for,

we still must allow for evolution to happen within ourselves and our lives as well as within any one of these areas if we want to maintain the area and/or expand/heal it.

 

You will never find happiness by insisting on things to remain the same.

 

Just like you cannot expect things to remain at the same level of connection,

the same level of turn on,

or anything else.

Life has its storms,

These storms are about you developing your ideal version of you.

These storms are something for us to learn how to move through in confidence and love,

and that in the storms of life,

we must expect that things will pull from us or push up against us and often this will feel uncomfortable.

But the discomfort is there to alert us to the areas inside of ourselves that we need to learn to lean more into,

speak more truth from,

see more authentically,

reveal in vulnerability more,

and to trust and love on.

These raw spaces that get revealed are the spaces that evolve us to our highest potential.

And thus create the life that we want.

Bringing our dreams into reality.

 

The yearning.

The craving.

It’s beautiful.

It’s powerful.

It’s revealing.

And it is saying that it is time that you start to pay mother f-cking attention to your SOUL.

 

It’s time that you start to take notice of that hunger before it becomes a ravenous beast that will destroy you and everything in its path to getting fed.

 

 

 

I am hungry.

I am craving more in all areas of my life and I have an amazingly full and abundant life.

My cup runneth over for sure.

And I want to keep it that way.

Because the truth of the matter is,

only with a full cup can you truly share without fear,

and help others.

Only by valuing yourself to the levels that God values can you give your gift in this world.

And only through the pursuit of evolution through love,

of self can you grow your soul and experience happiness.

Pure happiness.

Because happiness is not about the things that you have but who you become gaining the things that you have.

 

Who are you today and what does your tale say about your journey?

 

As Always,

Stop existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

Join me later this month for an expansive workshop about magick, love, sex and the law of attraction. We are going to be putting together the pieces of your puzzle and breaking down the barriers that have been holding you back from saying yes fully to your desired life.

Random Morning Conversations – Pedophiles to Compliments That Trigger.

There I was sitting on my bed naked with my morning cup of coffee when he said it….

 

I know what he was saying was to be a compliment.

I know that what he meant was that I was amazing and that he loved me.

I logically understand.

But that’s not how it translated after it got grabbed up by a wound from my past.

 

Okay so let me explain about what I am saying here.

You see in my house we have this thing,

“Morning Conversations”

and you simply never know where these conversations will go,

nor how they will get stirred up and be birthed either.

It is drastically different each day.

 

Yesterday morning,

after some decent sexing,

I found my lover and I in bed,

I was naked drinking my morning cup of coffee,

I opened my phone and saw something on all the pedphillia conversations that are currently bouncing around. It struck a chord with me instantly and I shared with him my utter disgust and anger on the concept that pedaphillia should be accepted as a representation of love. I showed him an image that is being put up in Denver, Colorado right now of a rainbow background and silhouette of a man and small child that might be four years at best chasing butterflies, the image says, 

 

” Pedophiles are people too. Because Love is Love.”

 

My share to him on this topic was that yeah, pedophiles are people too, but having sexual feelings or engagement toward a child, especially a small child is not love and that a child does not have the emotional/mental or physical maturity to understand. These “people” are stealing not just the innocents of our children but actually causing emotional/mental and physical damage to the child.

 

And that sure AF is not okay and  is NOT love.

 

After that conversation and agreement on the topic, I told him I needed to get to work and write a musing for the day and that my topic was going to be,

 

“My boyfriend would be perceived a sex addict if he was dating someone else…”

 

To this he smiled at me and said,

 

“If you were with you, you would be a sex addict too.”

 

And this is where it all went dark folks.

In his compliment he unknowingly triggered an old wound.

Now an average and normal woman would have said something coy, kicked the statement out without too much attention, or done whatever she could to change topics if she were triggered,

but not I…..

 

I paused,

took a deep breath and allowed myself to feel the trigger.

To feel this wound that just got scratched.

I looked at the wound,

identified that it was not in current and that he had no ill will in his statement.

However, the truth was it triggered me.

And I did not want to spend my day retracted from him or life in general with this trigger and wound playing tennis in my psyche.

So I spoke up.

I said,

“That was a triggering statement you just made.”

And then I shared why.

I shared that four years prior when I was in an open relationship,

I found myself in a threesome with my primary two lovers,

who’s intent was to create a yummie experience one day for me where they would both ravish me and we would play and enjoy one another.

However my ex got so excited he did not apply the time or attention needed to my physical body that I needed him to take.

Even though I was highly turned on,

my physical being was not caught up to my mental and emotional turn on for the experience.

And he quickly grabbed a glass dildo with no lube on it and penetrated me with it,

unfortunately it was rough at entry and because I was not organically lubricated yet it tore the delicate skin of my vaginal lining,

leaving me feeling torn and burning for days to come.

He did not take much time going down on me as he was too excited about the whole event and penetrated me quickly after removing the glass dildo.

His hast and excitement level created the scenario of him being a two pump chump in this moment,

and he came so quickly that I barely even knew what had happened.

He then looked at me and said,

 

“If you were not so hot I could withhold it better.”

 

Again, I believe that his intent was to compliment,

but what he actually was doing was blaming me,

making me responsible for his inability to last,

to be in control of his body,

his thoughts and feelings,

his sexual energy.

And he tossed his power over to me and made me responsible.

My feeling after hearing this was,

” I need to not be me.”

I felt like if I did not moan that way,

if I was not playful like I am,

If my body did not look like this,

If I was not open the way I am,

If…

If…

If…

 

Then he would be able to stay with me longer,

last longer and I too could engage in pleasure in these moments.

It was my fault that my partner has premature ejaculation issues.

 

Fast forward to current moment and my partner telling me that if I was with me, I would be a sex addict too….

 

This too speaks that I am responsible for my partners thoughts, actions, desires, habits, feelings, etc.

 

He is not responsible.

He is innocent and cannot help himself.

It’s my fault for being me the way that i am that causes the issues,

So what should I do if I am not okay with an issue?

 

Well I need to shut my shit down.

I need to not be as turned on.

I need to guard my moans.

I need to go limp.

I need to not engage in sex.

I need to not dress this way or that.

I need to not be as playful.

I need to change myself so that he can handle being around me.

 

But THIS is not what men want their women to do in truth.

And most men don’t actually believe that it’s the woman’s fault that they have weak stamina or high turn on.

Not fully that is.

They do however blame her to a degree,

just like she takes responsibility.

 

It’s because of how we were raised.

Girls are told from a young age that we are responsible for how boys look at us.

How they speak to us.

That if we wear yoga pants then we are at fault for a guy thinking things or desiring things.

If a girl or woman gets raped or any sexual harassment then its her fault typically because she was asking for it based on her looks, choice in clothes, attitude, playfulness, how she blinked or smiled, etc.

 

And guys are told that,

“Boys will be boys and that they cannot help it.”

 

This all steals one’s individual power from them. 

Men become disempowered by escaping responsibility for their own consciousness or lack thereof, their feelings, desires and actions, they get to turn away from and hand the reins of power over to the woman. 

 

Women lose their power by believing this responsibility transfer and shutting themselves down, changing who they are so to not cause issues. 

 

I believe that Namaste Moore puts its so well, 

And her statement is true for ALL subjects of our life.

 

“People who are not conscious about their OWN power will always sound the alarm about other people’s power. People who recognize their own power… understand that no one has power over them and they have power over no one else. Freedom.”

 

It’s easy to see the truth in this statement when we look at some of the political and world topics of current, 

But can you see its truth in our sexing and relationships as well. 

Because it’s there too. 

 

In owning that we get triggered, 

In speaking up about what is stirring in us as to prevent separation from self and thus another and life, 

We reclaim our power. 

In pausing on our words and asking ourselves, 

“Is this a statement of love or of fear?”

In looking at what our words are actually speaking, 

Because often we try to compliment but in truth a transfer of our power to another is happening. 

And when these transfers in power happen we create chaos in our relationships, 

In communication we thus create contrast that feels uncomfortable because we are not consciously processing and taking responsibility for our own inner shadow lands. 

 

Today look at your relationships. 

Look at your sexing. 

Look at your expectations and desires. 

And ask yourself if you are owning your power or handing it over to someone else?

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn how you can claim your power and have a turned on life and relationship?

Reach out to me today for deet’s on couples or individual coaching now.

Are You Falling Prey To This Lie Like Millions?

 

THERE IS  A LIE WE BELIEVE THAT CHANGES ALL OF OUR UNDERSTANDING….

 

With all the worlds chaos and turbulence,

I am witnessing a massive amount of said “lightworkers,” christians, believers of faith and LOA, genuianly “good” souls fall prey to the misconception around a lie that they have bought full heartedly into,

 

and that lie is AWARENESS = ALWAYS BEING POSITIVE

 

It is funny how we humans are so eager to jump down one another’s throats in ego and pain,

we point fingers of blame and cuddle up in our victimhood statues of reasoning,

quick to accuse others of being blind, low vibe or even spiritually bypassing issues and feelings,

but then in the same turn of spewing out all these negative charges,

show frustration and even fear toward truth that does hurt.

Toward truth and awareness that does not fit into what we call “spiritual” or “high vibe.”

 

We shun the concept of awareness that is not always uplifting.

As if seeing the true pain, sorrow, or darkness that does mask each of us in it’s own way and the world in general can just be ignored fully and by ignoring and ONLY focusing in on the good that we will somehow make the evils go away.

 

It is sort of like the child who is afraid of monsters in the closet so they hide their head under the blankets of their bed and tell themselves as long as I think happy thoughts then there will be no monsters,

but in reality the monsters they are hiding from are their abusive parents fighting in the hallway.

 

We will never make the evils of this world go away.

That is the truth.

What we perceive as evil is here for a reason,

it is upon this planet to create contrast.

 

Without contrast in our world we can never know what we desire or want for,

we would not evolve and expand.

It is only through contrast that we fully experience living.

 

But here is the conundrum for humanity,

how are we to manifest good if we witness the bad and get caught in it?

 

The key is getting caught in it or not.

 

There is this concept that feeling sad, angry, upset or any emotion that is not even keel is not good, is not natural.

It is encouraged in many belief structures and in how we raise our children to hold in the pain and anger and not let it out unless we want to be perceived as weak.

 

This is a falsity and one of the most unhealthy programs that we teach.

 

WIth this we have enwrapped ourselves in the idea that AWARENESS ….

 

AKA Consciousness,

is only and always to be UPLIFTING.

 

And when we share awareness that is not uplifting that we are in turn trying to fear monger.

 

Now don’t get me wrong, what we are all witnessing in our world of current and for many generations is just that from our leaders and media,

we are for sure being programmed by our trust in them and through television programming systems,

just as planned by those that control.

 

I am not speaking of the agendas of those who crave more power and are corrupt to the core,

I am speaking about the rest of society waking up to the truths that these dark souls are hiding in plain sight from us.

 

I am speaking about the fact that in order for you to heal anything or make powerful uplifting changes that you must….

 

First, become AWARE of the issue. And this may not be uplifting to awaken to the reality of a nightmare.

 

And second, see what the contrast that this nightmare is offering to your level of desire.

 

 

From here we can make significant change.

And yes focusing in on it after this point,

getting caught in all its entrappings of fear and darkness will not change it to what you desire for instead but, rather help it to gain power through the momentum of your fear around any such troublesome topic.

 

Your awareness transformed to true sight of what the opportunity that is actually being offered,

 

which is a desire for something better,

for healing,

for love and peace,

equality and safety,

etc.

can then be fully embraced.

 

It is here in this AWARENESS which is uplifting when we  empower ourselves with our true heart,

that what we focus on grows.

Here we can now CONSCIOUSLY move ourselves from witnessing the nightmare to putting our focus on what is good in our world.

 

When we consciously choose to move our focus and experience onto good we create more good.

And we do not get caught in the nightmare although we are aware of it existing.

 

This is not spiritual bypassing or ignoring of any sort,

it is being proactive with our life expression, thoughts and feelings.

 

It is not just hiding our heads under the covers and “trying” to think good thoughts,

but in turn moving ourselves authentically into good feeling experiences which means to focus on the sun coming up each day, the people in our lives who love us, our dog excited we are playing fetch, our child hugging us, our lover desiring us, the food in our fridge, that our car works, our heart is beating, the birds are chirping, Ozarks has a season 4….lol

 

Whatever makes you genuinely feel good.

That is the ticket.

And to hold this good feeling though for just one minute each day without doubt.

 

Did you catch that?

 

Without doubt.

 

Doubt destroys the feeling.

Doubt pulls us back to the fear and the hiding,

and from there we fall into our pain bodies and fight amongst ourselves which in turn keeps the fires of our world burning ever so more greatly.

 

To create the world and the life that we desire most for,

we must become AWARE and we MUST learn to find the beauty and empowerment in our own darkness,

When we can be grateful for our darkness we will then be able to see its truth in its offering to us and make conscious choices to breathe into life the world we crave most for.

 

Embrace the contrast.

 

And AS Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

www.kendalwilliams.com

Learn to manifest an unbound life today.

Question Your Reality and Logic Always.

Yesterday I learned something new about our pandemic….

 

Okay so it’s not really new.

But it was certainly made very aware to me multiple times in a few hours of my day and adventure with family.

 

As you know,

This whole thing has not set off my go-go attitude or adventure and experience for self and my family.

 

My children will not recall this crazy time in our history as a time when they were trapped in the house, unable to play or see loved one’s.

 

But instead they will look at it as another year that mom was sharing life with them,

ton’s of adventures, laughter, fun and growing.

They will look back and be able to recall chasing crabs at midnight on the beach after a late night under the stars BBQ.

They will look back and recall the horseback riding and firefly catching in the Ozarks as well as facing their fears of jumping off 20 foot cliffs into rivers of water.

They will recall the late night backyard fires and roasting marshmallows,

the many camp trips where they fished, hiked and told shadow stories at bedtime,

they will recall all the outside roller skating, bike riding, gardening and building.

They will think on laughter with family and friends,

ton’s of social activity,

birthdays abound with joy.

 

My children will not understand what quarantine is,

nor the depression or fear of this world at this time.

 

But, yesterday I was made aware of the truth yet again,

and this truth that keeps ringing,

supports my freedom based views and living.

 

Adventures to waterparks and rides,

from some of Texas’s biggest amusement parks,

back to back playing in one day to learn all about this new covid way.

 

The truth on healing covid was made aware to me as I placed my mask on all my family to enter a burger place for lunch in the amusement park,

We stood in line 4 to 6 feet from anyone else,

table all around us with people eating, drinking and chatting ( no masks on at tables because that was a covid safe space),

Just 4 feet from where I stand in line, mask on face.

I get my food from workers who wear masks under their noses and chins,

and walk outside to sit down to eat.

I had been told by park attendants left and right to keep my mask on myself and my small children,

they hammered strong words of YOU MUST WEAR YOUR MASK…

and I abided (for the most part, except for when my children looked like they were going to pass out),

 

but here we were eating lunch,

passer bys looked at us as we sat in the middle of everything MASK FREE eating for 30 minutes.

Fellow people consuming beverages and food sat anywhere from 3 to 6 feet away as well MASK FREE eating for the same time frames….

Here in this space of eating,

WE WERE SAFE,

safe from contracting,

safe from passing,

safe in our open air eating space.

It was like as long as I sat here eating or drinking,

or as long as I had food or drink in my hand then I was safe to not wear a mask,

I was suddenly allowed and healed even from this illness that I could have and could kill some innocent person with unknowingly,

and then a few hours later I found myself and family at a large water park…..

 

Here we MUST WEAR A MASK TO ENTER….

and as soon as we passed the gates….

 

You are FREE TO GO WITHOUT.

Play in the water,

sit and eat,

stand in a line upon each other, float, swim, ride….

all mask free because here at the water park you are safe from Covid.

You cannot pass it,

you can not get it.

You are safe….

 

awe, but NO you are not.

If you need to pee,

well now,

now you may carry it,

you may catch it,

so grab that mask because it’s a must.

You may have sat a table for an hour next to that person in front of you mask free,

but now in this moment where you are toilets or showers apart you are suddenly ill and contagious.

Take heed…

The mandate is in place.

 

And so, the solution to curing Coivd is keep eating and drinking,

go to water parks abound.

You will never catch covid as long as you do this,

but if you are fishing on a stream by yourself,

or if you stand in your own back yard or walk in your community park or store,

lord help you luv,

because suddenly you are dangerous and weak,

You might kill an innocent stranger or obtain this illness yourself.

 

Perhaps we should all start to drink Starbucks while shopping so we are Covid safe.

And too all you fishermen and hikers, bikers and joggers…. Wear your masks and be safe. 

Mother nature is out to get you.

 

 

Now I know that this little musing may have pissed some of you off. 

And for this I do not apologize but instead ask you to question the reality of what I shared from my adventure yesterday. 

Start to question the logic behind all the mandates and rules. 

Start to ask yourself why this is okay, but this is not. 

And if you find yourself feeling angry and hateful toward myself and this share, 

Then please just delete me if you are not willing to see reason. 

 

We can have different views and not be right. 

For what is right for you, 

Does not have to be for all, 

Just as what is right for me, 

You do not have to agree with or understand. 

 

The point of my share is simple….

Question those that control your life experience, 

Question your reality and the logic behind it. 

 

And know that you are worthy of thriving, 

And worthy of a life full of love, abundance and connection. 

It is always and will forever remain your choice as to what you perceive and live. 

 

Live free. 

Thrive. 

Dream. 

Live.

 

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Thriving Requires You To View Life Like THIS.

A few years ago I was out at a local pub that my ex and I would pop into and have a drink. It sorta was his “Cheers” for anyone who can remember the show.

 

You know a place where everyone knows your name.

 

And I was sitting down enjoying a martini with a woman that my ex was friends with her and her husband for years prior.

We were chatting about all sorts of stuff, among which was professionalism.

 

She informed me that she could NEVER work with someone who had tattoos.

She went on to tell me that tattoos make you unclean.

And that only under educated people had them.

Her passion about the subject was powerful,

She certainly had a hatred toward tattoos and it sounded like she looked down on anyone with them no matter whom they were.

 

Yet she counted me as someone to go out to see Andrea Bocelli with,

to kick back and enjoy drinks and dinner with by the pool,

to share her relationship issues with,

and amazingly she even hugged me to say hello and goodbye.

 

In the midst of her deep sharing on her hatred and disgust toward people with tattoos and how unprofessional and unclean they were,

I sat there with my hands and arms on the table not inches in front of her,

baring both arms with….

 

You guessed it.

 

TATTOOS on them…

 

LOL.

Yeah, she was preaching her disgust to her friend.

I shared with her that I worked with many people who had tattoos, and she said yeah but those are people who need life coaching, help in life, not people who are professionals.

 

I laughed.

Because my clients have always been those who are professionals, business owners, CEO’s, doctor’s, attorney’s, poloticains, fellow coaches and therapists, etc.

 

Affluent people.

85% of my clients are in the upper 2% of America.

 

And guess what?

They have tattoos.

Many of them do.

 

When I shared this with her,

she huffed and said,

 

“Well, if I ever found out that my doctor had a tattoo he would not be my doctor anymore. I cannot have someone like that touching me.”

 

Yet she hugged me hello and goodbye.

Her logic made no sense.

 

As most critical, judgemental people who are caught up in

“it’s my way or no way, and you are stupid and need to shut up or be removed from humanity if you think, feel or act differently then I do, ” rationalize.

 

These same people will turn and point fingers and call everyone who is not caving to their beliefs and fears self-centered, bad citizens, using their privilege, elitists.

 

 

In my line of work I get hate from time to time.

And I actually am grateful for it,

because it shows me area’s that I can improve my own inner world. It also show’s me that I am speaking from a perspective that is not average and ordinary.

 

And that thrills me because I do not want an average and ordinary life,

Living a F-ck Yes! Life and changing others lives to having that as well requires you to not go with the attitude of average and ordinary.

 

There ain’t now THRIVING in average and ordinary.

There is not GREATNESS in it either.

 

My mission is to help ignite as many people to their power and worthiness and tap into their abundance and flow with God as I possibly can in my lifetime,

and this unfortunately stirs many of the ordinary thinkers and perceivers of life out there to want to strike me down for many reasons.

 

“You need to shut up because…”

“You are not professional because..”

“You are wrong because….”

“I can’t trust you because….”

“You are stupid because….”

 

From my typo’s to my purple or blue hair,

from my open relating and tattoos to my I don’t give a f-ck what you think and use of the “F” word,

my authentic relating drives average folk crazy mad that they cannot control it and that despite all my flaws and my typo’s and tattoos I am THRIVING in relationship, money, health and making a positive mark in this world because I CHOOSE to do so.

 

I write this today,

because at waking my thread was bombarded with my fellow coaches and leaders out there being under attack for all the above reasons and more.

The judgment and criticism spewing around in hatred is like a storm that has no way to settle,

and it is sad to me that so many people in the world right now are living with such disgust and rage in their heads and hearts that they find a need to try to tear down another just because of differences of views, desires, beliefs or even looks.

 

This kind of stinking thinking WILL NEVER solve any problems.

 

It will only keep the fires burning and cause more pain and suffering.

 

When we can come back to actual critical thinking,

using logic and heart in harmony,

viewing our fellow human as just that,

another human with their own dreams, desires, fears, beliefs and opinions,

and that, that is perfect,

that being human does not mean that we are all cookie cutter the same,

then we will be able to heal ourselves and our world at a deeper level.

 

Until then we remain blind to love.

Blind to healing.

Blind to true world or local community.

 

Until then we have lost our humanity,

and are slaves to our fear of difference.

 

Where are you at in your judgements of your fellow humans and how are you desiring to control those who are the same as you?

 

Can you imagine what life would be like and who you would actually be if you put down all your fear based thinking and just allowed yourself to be YOU?

 

This is your truth love.

 

And remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to stop your stinking thinking and claim your true power now?

Let’s chat. Message me for deet’s on how to get started.

Get The F-ck Out Of The Way!

GET THE F-CK OUT OF THE WAY!

Who’s way?

Your way.

Damn straight baby,

You are in your way.

And you have been blocking yourself from hearing the messages of the universe,

For years now.

It’s time you stop accepting so little for your life.

This world needs you to get ignited in your power.

You see by sitting back and squelching your light, your wisdom, your heart,

You are denying all those whose life you could positively impact your gift.

By keeping yourself locked up,

For the awesome reason of fear,

Or some wound you endured back then,

You are limiting your touch on this world.

The people in your life that you claim to love,

That you say are the reasons that you are holding back for,

Well guess what,

You are not loving them more or doing them any favors by not being 100% you in your radiant power.

No.

In truth you are hindering them.

You are not offering them their best life.

And certainly are not thriving.

You say you are a teacher,

A preacher,

Enlightened,

A crusader,

A parent,

A friend,

A lover….

Well time to grow a pair, love.

Time to stand the f-ck up and open your ears to the guidance that is all around.

God is reaching out to you.

The angels are screaming for you to hear them.

Your SOUL is churning inside.

And yet there you sit.

Stubborn in your fear and pain.

Where will it ever take you baby?

Where will you end up?

Feel that pit in your stomach as you embrace the reality that you only have this present moment to decide who you are and what you want for.

You get to choose your next step.

You get to open the door to the rest of your life.

You get to point yourself in the direction that makes you feel good.

Did you read that?

The direction that makes you feel good.

Yeah.

And what’s going to feel good?

Staying in the same pattern that you have been in all these years,

Or getting out of your own way?

If you choose option A,

Please stop reading now. I am not talking to you in this message.

If you chose option B,

Well then start stepping baby.

I know how terrifying it can feel to finally say yes to yourself.

I know its shaky ground to step forward and have faith that you can do it.

That breaking free you won’t find yourself being too much or not enough.

I get it that change can feel challenging.

But the reality is this….

If you truly want to be that ignited powerhouse that you are.

Thriving in life, love, health and wealth…

Well you HAVE GOT TO MAKE WHAT IS FAMILIAR UNFAMILIAR.

There ain’t no other way around it.

You know what you have been getting with what you have been choosing so far.

So what do you say love?

Are you ready to not just crack open the door,

But blow it the f-ck off its hinges and say yes.

Yes to your life of abundance.

Yes to happiness.

Yes to feeling good.

Yes to turning your attention to what feels good.

Yes to your soul.

I sure hope so.

‘Cuz you deserve it.

But in truth….

Only a few actually blow the door off its hinges.

Most crack it a bit and then let their fear creep back in and they slam the door shut tighter than before. They get nervous with walking a new path in life.

But this ain’t you, right?

Right.

So let’s do this.

Let’s do it now.

Time to say F-CK YES!!!

And remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “

Message me for deets on steps to saying yes to your power today.

There Are Only Two Kinds Of People… Which Are You?

WTF Did you do over the weekend?

Did you live?

Did you THRIVE?

 

Each day we gain a new opportunity to do just these things.

And each day so many people choose to just get by.

To survive the day.

Does that sound fun to you?

 

“I am going to survive this day.”

 

What have you got going on?

“Nothin’ much.”

 

So you see luv,

if you desire to live that F-ck Yes Life,

then you have to flip the switch to living it….

cuz surviving your life is never going to happen,

and no moment is ever promised to us.

 

If you don’t choose to flip that switch to living the life of your dreams,

regardless of what your friends and family say or think,

no matter what is happening in our governments, economy, or what debates are up,

then you will simply NEVER,

let me repeat that for you….

 

NEVER have the life that you claim that you desire.

 

Matter of fact you may even find yourself among the many who sit back and dissect and analyze all those who are out there living.

 

You may discover yourself so far out of alignment with your truth and your worthiness that you get caught up being a judgy, critical and even upset about others lives, person.

About what they choose to do or not to do.

 

You may discover that you are caught in the drama and chaos of the world that is always around us,

falling prey to its life stealing ways,

believing that, that is what you are to focus on.

Never realizing that it’s sabotaging you from the gift that you were given from God….

 

YOUR LIFE TO LIVE.

 

And living is not about just getting through the day and paying your bills,

about appearing to do what is expected,

or about people pleasing to the degree that you have nothing left to give to yourself.

 

Living is not about you doing anything that someone else deems appropriate or right for you.

 

Did you get that luv?

 

Living IS NOT about you doing what someone else “thinks or believes” is right for you.

 

They are not living your life.

And if you believe that you are here to please and be liked by everyone else,

then you’re simply being silly.

 

This way of “wantabe living” will only land you in a depression, exhaustion, emptiness, lost, and feeling unworthy, unloved, and broken.

 

It may feel good to help others,

and don’t get me wrong,

It’s a damn good thing to be compassionate and helpful.

But, if you are being helpful to the point that you have lost your boundaries and value,

then you are not helping anymore.

You cannot help those around you when you yourself are empty.

 

And the way that you fill yourself is by LIVING.

Is by THRIVING.

 

The more you do this,

the more you have to give.

The more you can be compassionate and in love with all.

 

I am a firm believer that the reason there is so much anger, hatred and jealousy in our world,

is because we have been raised to believe that loving ourselves, giving to ourselves, taking care of self first makes us a bad person. However, we crave just that at our core.

And so we hate ourselves.

ANd when we feel this shitty about ourselves we have no space for love for someone else.

We have no tolerance for our differences,

no ability to agree that we can disagree and still remain friends or lovers.

 

You see it is impossible to see clearly the world around us, when we are not thriving.

 

Any point outside of thriving, (which BTW is exactly what your life was intended to be about, it’s your set point if you allow it),

 

Any point other than thriving is you viewing the world from your pain body. From your trauma, your fear, your ego, your need to control, because you cannot fathom letting go of the suffering.

 

Thriving is a foregin concept to the majority of the world.

To the point that we finger point, try and shame, hate on and dissect those that are doing it. It scares our ego’s.

Because thriving means that you fully accept yourself, love yourself and KNOW WHO YOU ARE. You also, get that you cannot control others, nor should you desire too, that’s not loving….

 

That you cannot give to the point of exhaustion and crossing your own boundaries.

 

You understand that the best you,

is the you that loves you.

And that you are not going to be a wonderful person to the majority, simply because you are not doing what they want you to do.

 

THRIVING my love is about you expanding horizons,

getting to know yourself and falling in love with that amazing soul who looks back at you in the mirror,

NO EFFING matters what anyone else says or thinks about you on this planet.

 

THRIVING is about you surrendering to your heart,

and enjoying your life to the fullest.

 

THRIVING is about you accessing your DESIRE and knowing that you can have it,

that what you desire, desires you as well.

 

THRIVING is about being in alignment to God/Universe.

 

There are only two kinds of people on this planet….

 

Those that are in alignment.

and….

Those that are not in alignment.

 

We are all both of these at times, the true question comes down to where to reside most of your life?

 

If you have no clue….

look at your world.

Let yourself get real with how you perceive this world,

your life,

how you truly feel about it.

Are you in love with your life?

or something other than?

 

It’s time to JUMP INTO THRIVING.

You are so worthy.

You are so ready.

 

Make the leap now and claim it for yourself.

The magic is all you baby.

 

——————————————————————————-

***Side note: This picture was taken yesterday during my first jump, such a thrilling experience that I aim to repeat in the near future 🙂 but the weekend was loaded with adventure, from doing a ghost hunt in an 1845 jail, to exploring deep connection with my lover, staying in VRBO chicken coop, just because it sounded interesting, showering outside under the starry sky and more…No matter your life situation love, you can live an adventure, I know because I have done so. I have had to raise five children on $17k a year, I have been homeless and camped for months pretending that we were just having a summer adventure when in truth I could not afford a roof over our head or food, I have stood over the ER bed of my child who was in a sever accident and wondered if there were a God, I have been diagnosed with painful illnesses, been through miscarriages, years of depression, divorce, rape, physical violence that broke my body, and more…. and you know what? My spirit said, “LETS THRIVE! You are worthy.”

And today, my life is totally different. So different that people dislike and judge me for THRIVING and sharing it.

So much so different, that I think about something and it easily manifests in days. My life is now magical because I get that thriving is who I AM.

 

And you are too.

———————————————————————————-

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to leap into a life that you love?

Lets connect and get you expanding and saying F-ck Yes! to your thriving life now.

It’s time you stop just getting by.

 

You are worth so much.

Message me for deet’s.