You Must Change Up Your Vibe Tribe.

Am I vibing with you?

I sure hope I am.

Or maybe I hope I am not.


It really depends on where you are vibing at.And I say this, because we often do not pay attention to our vibe, let alone other people’s vibe.
But I can tell you this. VIBE is where it is at baby!
If you want to have that F-ck Yes Life, If you want to call in THE ONE, If you want to have blessings wash all over you, then you better be vibing in the same frequency as them. The things we desire the most are often high hanging fruit, and this high hanging fruit will not come down to us.

And if it does…..
Then it has lowered its VIBE.And you most likely won’t want it so much anymore.
This happens in relationship all the time.
We humans have the power to increase or decrease our vibe in no time flat.
It all stems from the thoughts we are thinking, the emotions we are feeling, and thus the actions we are taking.
High vibing people, you know the one’s…

You may even be one of the one’s.
And I hope that you are luv.But either way, you may want to know how to determine if someone is high vibe or low vibe.
RIGHT?


High Vibe peep’s are radiant,

they are turned on to life,

they are self-motivated,

they do not mask life or the experiences that life offers them.

They are not living in a victim mentality.

They are proactive.

They love forward movement,

They value alone time.

They know that more is always possible.

They see the interconnectedness of things.

They are grateful.

They are grounded.

They bounce out of negative thinking quickly.

They smile – A LOT!

They are easy to be around.

They have healthy, strong boundaries.

They don’t give a sh*t what you think of them.

They are abundant.

Blessings flow to them with ease.

They are not needy, but they do desire much.

They are in integrity with self.


High VIBE is where it is at baby!

Living a high VIBE life is what you were born to do.


It is where you will discover everything that you want the most.
And you can get there.This you can.
But you are not going to get there, if you are still trying to get your needs met by everyone else who is low vibing it.
You won’t get there if you are caught in worry, or anxiety and fear.
You won’t get there if you are giving to many f-cks about everyone else’s opinions and judgements.


You won’t get there if you insist on hanging with low vibing friends, family and lovers.
And this can cause some mighty BIG issues in life, the main one being that you MUST realize that many of the people you have in your life RIGHT NOW,
won’t follow you up in VIBE.


And you will loose these people in some fashion.

So that alone may stop you.

You may not want to loose this person, or that one.

You may say it’s not worth it.

You may think I am wrong and try and drag their sweet ass along.

And you can for a bit, although the dragging of dead weight will certainly drain you at some point,

and then you will either drop them, or surrender to creeping back down into lower vibe, where life was…..


well….


BLAH.

And difficult.

Where you were not happy.

And you may say that it is worth it.

As long as you can keep these peep’s in your life, then it is worth it to be low VIBE.
And that is fine.

That is your choice.

And you will make this choice many, many multiple times throughout your life.
Just know though, that if you want to have that F-ck Yes! Lifestyle, you want abundance, deep love, and happiness.

That you will have to make changes in whom you choose to hang around.
Because the saying is so true,

“You become like those you hang around.”


So if you look at your top five people in your life, how are they VIBING?


And if we look just at the income of these five…how abundant are they?

You want to know where you are headed in the next 12 months.You will be about 50-70% of the median of these five in total.
Is that satisfactory to you?Then great.
carry on.
If not.

Time to change your VIBE TRIBE.


We all have to level up our relationships as we grow, some come back around as they grow with us in vibe, some we revisit and feel the constriction in our bodies.

While others are lost forever.
And still others Climb beside us.


What does your VIBE TRIBE say about you?


As always, Stop Existing & Start Living

If you are ready to make the leap then reach out to me today. I am running a Christmas special where you get 2-months of coaching for FREE. Check it out and use the SANTAGIFT code in the why you want to work with me HERE

Sex, Love and Fear.

Snuggles.
Intimacy.
Kisses.
Time shared.
SEX!

Mmmmmmmm….. sounds good, huh?
Sounds like something you want.
That you desire more of in your life.
Me too!

I sit here this morning contemplating so many things,
and I often find myself excavating past lessons so that I do not repeat them in current time and space.
As I analyze things, especially how I choose to do relationship I see how difficult I might be to have a serious one with.
And I do not believe that it is the fact that I enjoy multiple people in my life that is the difficult thing.
What is difficult for most is my integrity about it.
I share openly about my feelings.
About my past.
About my desires.
I share how I feel.

The issue is that we are taught that we should not want anything more than the relationship we have.
That the relationship we have is to complete us,
to make us happy, and to provide all our needs.
If it does not then under no conditions should you turn to someone else to get this met.
ESPECIALLY someone you may be attracted too or them to you.

I hear the statement,
” Be cautious of the situation you put yourself in.”

I hear the concern in this statement.
I hear the plea of if you hang around people you like, are attracted too then you may stray,
and straying equates to you leaving.
Because you have to make a choice.
Because there is ONLY so much love to go around.
Because you cannot have multiple relationships successfully.
Because it makes ME uncomfortable.

Okay, here is where I get a little uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable in my truth.

My truth is that I can NEVER go back to a way of living where I shut myself down from the world,
from other people,
and/or from men.
I f-cking love my male friends and lovers.
Whether current lovers of not, I may be enjoying time with them.
And when it is imposed on me that I need to not do this,
I feel shackles being put on me and on my emotions,
my heart,
my desires,
my energy.
And YES you better believe I will be making a choice.

I am poly my nature.
In all things I do.

I do love many.
I do enjoy many.
And may be likely to have intimacies in multiple ways with a few.

The one’s who capture my heart,
capture my essence for a season of our lives dancing together,
are the one’s who are confident enough in themselves and who get the difference between love and need.
Who can embrace my feminine wave of love.
These are the ones or THE ONE that will hold me a lifetime.

Now I am not speaking on sex here.
When I say intimacy,
I mean depth in revealing.
Sex can be this intimacy,
however sexing will only be as deep and intimate as we allow ourselves to be revealed in it.
Sex can just be that, sex.
It can be friction based and meaningless.

Sex does not mean love.
Sex does not mean commitment.
Sex does not mean intimacy.

Sex is a communication tool,
a physical communication tool .
And if you show up at only a surface level in your daily interactions with a lover,
then your sexing will only mimic the same.
Surface sex.
If you have depth, intimacy, surrender, authenticity in your daily interactions then your sex can go to this level as well,
or it can still be held in a place of disconnect if we are letting everything be heard in other ways but are scared to speak our truth in the bedroom.

Sex DOES NOT mean intimacy.
or love.

It can however deepen our intimacy and love.
It all depends on our level of surrender with our partner.

In the land of poly,
many believe that poly means to have multiple sexual partners. But this is not true,
poly is about something much more frightening than sex.
It is about LOVE.

Loving multiples.
And in love we can go deep with someone,
and we might open the gateway to sex.
Good sex.
Might I even say gourmet sex?
Because of the love,
because of the more authentic relating.

But poly DOES NOT equate to sex,
lot’s of sex,
or sex with many.

You can be monogamous in your sexing, 
and polyamorous in your relating and intimacy sharing.

And you can have success in this.
Just like you can have success in an open relationship with open sexing, or a swinging relationship.
Just like you can have success in a monogamous relationship.

A successful relationship is not about the sexual labels you put on it.

It is based on the confidence that each party has in themselves first, the self-love they have, and their ability to show up authentically in the realtionship. Which means authentic communication.

Year spent together does not equate a successful relationship.

Happiness does.
Unconditional love, and forward moving growth,
individually and together gives you opportunity to have this.

The most happy people on the planet are the one’s who have multiple close relationships. The healthiest people are the same.
Healthy mentally, emotionally and physically.
All requires intimacy shared.

Closing yourself off to the world is a death sentence in an essence.

Closing yourself off to the world and ONLY allowing intimacy to be shared with but ONE is putting all your eggs in one basket and putting an unrealistic expectation on the ONE. As well, as expecting that you as an individual can survive with only this one food source.

Because relationships are food.
They are emotional, mental, spiritual food.
They effect our body, mind and soul.
They impact us at a deep level.
And not having them does not mean that we are not effected.
Avoidance of relationship DOES equate avoidance of your heart and soul.
It is hiding from all the intimacy and truth that you are meant to share.

We hide out of fear of getting hurt.
We choose to not get involved,
to not catch feelings,
out of fear of getting burned.

If we do step into a relationship,
we then revamp our whole world and expect our partner to do the same, by not having relationship outside of the primary relationship. Often this simply means to pull away from anyone that there may potentially be “feelings” for.
And we do this out of fear.
Fear of loss.
Fear of being abandoned.
Fear of having too much love.
We close off because our ego’s affirm to us that it is not safe to love.

NEWSFLASH!
Love will not hurt you.
Love is not limited.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” ( 1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

So why do we fear it so?
Why do we handcuff it so?
Why do we cover it with our self-centered need?

Because we do not understand.
And we equate many a thing to be love.
We fear what we do not know.
We fear what we cannot control.
We fear that we will loose if we love,
therefore we choose to turn our backs on love,
as we embrace its doppelganger of lust and need.

Authentic loving,
is authentic relating.
Authentic intimacies,
come in many ways and are what brings joy and surrender to all relationship.

Sex is never a reason to fear loss.
Love will never create loss.

The only reasons we change seasons with a relationship is because we have either out grown the relationship or have not grown to the next level within it,
or it was based on need ( not love) and those needs are no longer being met.

Level up your love life,
by tapping into your authentic self.
Embody yourself and open to love.
This is the answer to your happily ever after.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

If you are ready to make the leap then reach out to me today. I am running a Christmas special where you get 2-months of coaching for FREE. Check it out and use the SANTAGIFT code in the why you want to work with me section.

Never Stop Manifesting The Cup of Coffee

About 20+ years ago I started focusing in on the law of attraction.
I wanted to take charge of my manifesting and I wanted to create the life of my dreams.
Having always been spiritually focused,
and enjoying quantum physics for my pleasure reading,
it came to me that this thing known as the Law of Attraction might be worth investigating.
After all there was a history of exploration around it.
Anyone who has ever read Think and Grow Rich, or any of Napoleon Hill’s work as well Earl Nightingale, Dale Carnegie or Norman Vincent Peale just to name a few greats, I am sure would agree that there must be something to this law.

Through the course of time,
I have had many a positive and a negative experience with the law. The thing that I have had the toughest concept with was personal responsibility.

Yes responsibility.
We are each responsible for what is coming into our manifestation zone.
What we are attracting to us.
It is difficult to take responsibility for the crap that manifests in our lives.
I am sure that you would agree.
It is hard to look at these things and say with certainty and even enthusiasm,
“Yes! I did that. – I attracted that. – I own it.”

I mean how often do we want to own the random flat tire,
the hot water heater blowing up, the car accident, the personal injury, the job or relationship loss?

We never want to own these things.
yet this is where the power of our manifestation is seen and we MUST pay attention too.

I will even go to the level that we should be excited about the sh*t that manifests,
as it shows us that we are manifestors.
And damn good one’s at that.

Owning our power means that we do not ignore any manifesting that we have going on for ourselves.
It means that we have to be just as full of gratitude for the free random coffee that we manifested to the flat tire.

It is all us.
It all came from our thought vibration.
And this is where we learn our truth.

Are you sitting there, reading this and agreeing?
or are you disagreeing?
It does not matter BTW.
It just is.

That is the thing about universal laws.
they don’t care if we believe in them or not,
they still happen according to their design.
It is up to us to become conscious and start making use of them to our consistent benefit ( manifesting what we perceive as positive) or remain unconscious and just let the cards fall will they will.

It is up to each of us.

However, if we choose to CLAIM OUR LIVES,
if we choose to move forward toward the F-ck Yes! Life,
then we MUST become conscious of this law.
We must start to own all of our manifestations,
not just those that feel good to us.

I so often hear people say,
“So I started using the law of attraction 5 years ago.”

LOL….
This cracks my ass up.

“Started using…”
Honey, you were born using the law of attraction.
You use it every moment of your life.
You use it in your waking hours,
you use it in your sleeping hours.
You use it when you are pooping,
when you are eating,
when you are having sex,
or an argument.
When you are paying your bills,
or when you are on vacation.
There is NEVER a moment that you are not using the law of attraction.

It is about THOUGHT VIBRATION.

And if you “think” you are “thinking the right thoughts” but crap just keeps manifesting in your life,
then guess what?

YOU ARE STINKING THINKING.

It is not rocket science baby.
It is a universal law,
a law that is based on the frequency that your thoughts are sending out.
That is it.

The ONLY other component that matters to it,
is how you feel about these thoughts.

The emotions attached to these thoughts.

If you are sold hook line and sinker on the fact that you will always be living pay check to pay check,
or that you will never find love,
or you will never have the body you want,
or whatever it is that you are CERTAIN that you cannot have,
then guess what baby?
You are right.

And feel that feeling,
that sensation in your body as you think about not having it.
Feel that anxiety,
that sadness,
that disappointment,
that anger.

If you are waking with a subconscious thought that is affirming that you cannot have,
and you wake with one of these sensations,
then it should just make sense that you not manifest ANYTHING other than things that support these feelings.
So you pour hot coffee on yourself,
you break a dish,
you scratch the side of your car,
your shoes don’t feel right,
you feel bloated,
etc.
etc.

The opposite is true to though luv.

If you wake with a feeling of gratitude,
a feeling of love in your heart, ‘excitement for the day,
for life and all that you can make happen.

If you feel into how good it feels to wake up,
and KNOW that you are the CREATOR of your world,
that you are so supported.

So very supported.
The whole universe wants to give you what you want.
What you are VIBING TOO.
So all you have to do is BE HAPPY.
And more things that make you happy will manifest like magic into your world.

F-ck YES!!!!!!

This is the F-ck Yes!! Life that I coach on.
This is what I help people every day achieve.
This is the life that I wake to daily,
and if I don’t then I consciously make up my mind to change my VIBE ASAP.

Today,
today is like any other.
Today I woke,
I was tired, but I stretched and said my gratitudes before my feet hit the ground.
I moved on through my moments of motherhood,
of taking tired kids to school,
I dealt with my ex and christmas items,
I looked at some bills,
and I drove in rush hour traffic to take my daughter almost 2 hours away to state testing for homeschool.

And you know what?
I walked into the conference space that her testing was at,
fifteen minutes early,
I laughed and connected with the ladies who were setting everything up for the students and a few moments later,
one of the women said,
” Excuse me mam, would you be interested in a white mocha latte from Starbucks? It is untouched. I ordered it on accident for someone who is not here. Do you want it?”

F-ck Yes!!!!
A small manifestation.
But showing where my VIBE is.

I said yes and gave my thanks.
I opened to receiving.

I said yes.
And gave gratitude. (KEYS to receiving more)

often in the start of awaking to the law of attraction,
we are told to just go manifest a cup of coffee.

I want to say,
NEVER STOP MANIFESTING THAT CUP OF COFFEE.

Your belief of your power starts and is consistently supported here.

So what will you manifest today?

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

If you are ready to make the leap then reach out to me today. I am running a Christmas special where you get 2-months of coaching for FREE. Check it out and use the SANTAGIFT code in the why you want to work with me section. HERE

The Small Things Are The BIG Things In Your Success.

Success happens with in the small things.

The small things is what makes all the difference,
because the small things are actually BIG mother f-cking things.

Have you noticed this?
I sure have luv.
I am sure that you have noticed how you can focus in on all these BIG ass boulders and you can spend your life trying to push those damn boulders up the mountain you are climbing,
with little to no movement,
and THEN,
then you do thi sone little thing,
that seem’s like nothing really.
It’s a no-duh sorta thing even,
it’s a thing that you wonder,
“Why did I never think of that?”
and you do it,
and it MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

Yes success happens with in the small things.

Failure happens in the small things too.
You may understand this one a bit better.
Think about the relationships that you have had that have failed.
Was it big things or a pile up of small things that destroyed the intimacy,
the connection,
the trust,
even the love?

It was the small things , right?
Small things.
They seem so small
and so unimportant often.
They appear as though they should be easy to move through,
to avoid,
to conquer even.
And we most certainly should get over them quickly.
Small things are small hurdles after all.

And they are!
They are IF,
IF….

we let them be just that,
and we are proactive about discovering them,
and doing whatever it is that we need,
to clear the small hurdle.

Often this means,
small actions.

And in the land of success,
and moving those boulders with ease,
you have to be willing to look into things that are in your shadow,
into things that you may already be doing, ‘but are not doing where,
with whom,
or exactly how you need to be doing them.

These sort of things, are the things that can take you from zero to 60 in under a minute flat.

These sort of things,
can make or break you.

The issue always come’s back to realization of them,
and how we choose to perceive them.
It comes back to ego.
It comes back to heart.
It comes back to alignment.
Which means…..

What feels good,
and yet pushes your comfort zone.

The answer though is always in it feeling good.
Anything that does not feel good will create a low vibe in you and create chaos and destruction.
So NEVER….
NEVER EVER do that which you “think” you should do for anyone else, if it makes you feel bad in shape.
Especially if it scares you ass it may be dangerous,
it may cause some emotional or psychological issue within you, such as shame. Or it leaves you with a feeling of bitterness or fear of loss if you don’t do it.

This is not following your joy.
This is not alignment.
This is not jumping over a small hurdle to some success of moving that boulder up the mountain.

NO.
It most certainly is not.
Instead this sort of pushing through will add other boulders to your process and prevent you from success.

So put simple,
Just don’t do it.

It is okay to be selfish and say no to something or someone,
as saying now is saying f-ck yes,
to ourselves.

And being a f-ck yes to yourself will keep you high vibing!

Guess what luv,
saying yes to yourself at all cost,
is one of the most important small things you can do too.
It is the one small things that is the BIGGEST thing you can ever do to get that boulder up the mountain with ease.

But it will take courage.
It will take compassion for self first.
It will take passion,
and it will take a hell of a lot of self- love.

But YOU ARE WORTH it.

You are!

So focus in on the small things that will make all the difference today.
Focus in on the self-love that you have been denying yourself.
Focus in on the things that make you feel high vibe, make you laugh, make you smile.
Focus in on the small things as they are not small at all,
they are the BIG things.

And your success is going to totally rock out of the ethers because of these things.

Just say yes.
Say YES…
TO YOU.

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

—————————————————————————–
If you are ready to make the leap then reach out to me today. I am running a Christmas special where you get 2-months of coaching for FREE. Check it out and use the SANTAGIFT code in the why you want to work with me section.
HERE 

Newsflash: You Value Comfort Over Happiness

If that truly impacts your life then I sure the f-ck don’t want that sorta life!

Sometimes people just send me over my edge. You know what I mean?

They b*tch, mone and complain about their work, their finances, their kids, their spouses, their parents and friends, their health and the cost of gasoline.

They sit around day in and day out paying attention to this stuff that does not matter in the end.

They get more excited about the price of a gallon of gasoline, the $5.00 Victoria Secret Pantie sale, and what our beloved president is doing or not doing then they do about things that really matter.

Things that will impact them RIGHT NOW.
And because it will impact them right now,
it will carry over to tomorrow and the next day,
the next month,
the next year even.

I was out earlier today,
taking my son to school,
and my other son to the dentist for a check up.
While I was out I stopped for a coffee.

Standing in line there were two women in front of me,
discussing the price of gasoline.
The one woman was exclaiming her excitement about the fact that it was under $2.00 a gallon. How it made it so much easier on her to go places now and how she hoped prices would stay low. The second woman, agreed. Then they started talking about local elections and politics. As they spoke about politics I watched them each shrink.
They became hunched over, and their faces which were joyous over the price of gasoline just moments before now looked sullen and upset.

As they spoke about politics, they became agitated with each other to the point that one woman could no longer carry on the conversation and politely removed herself from the line to go to the restroom mid sentence of the other woman.

There they were two women in their 40″s maybe.
Business women from the way they were dressed.
And they had allowed gasoline and politics to dictate issue’s in their friendship and set an overall tone for the moment.
Potentially the day.

Now, here is the thing….
I know that gas has dropped in price.
I know that elections just happened locally.
I know what is happening in our world in multiple ways.

But I never focus in on it.
I don’t drive by the gas station and look to see which station has a better price.
So I can save two cents or ten cents.
I get gas when I need gas.
I get it at the most convenient stop for me on my path.
Because the truth is,
I have far more important things to think about then the price of gasoline.
The same is true with politics.
I pay attention to the point that I need too,
to make a decision in my voting.
But at the end of the day,
I don’t let it ruffle a feather one.
Because this too shall pass.

Much like everything.
It shall pass.
Gasoline will rise and fall as it does every year.

Politicians will lie and cheat,
tell truths and do what they feel is fit,
with whatever judgements they deem right for themselves,
Governments will move forward with or without my emotional upset or excitement.

The average and ordinary person will allow these things to guide their feelings, their thoughts, their mindset and thus their actions.

The average and ordinary person will get caught up in the pennies and loose the millions, because they are in scarcity mindset.

The average and ordinary person will think it is responsible to know where the best sales are on underwear, milk, and potato chips.

The average person, will think it their duty to wake up and watch the news, then check in on it again that evening, to even get updates to their phones.

Yes this is effing AVERAGE.
Gasoline Concerns.
Political Worries.
Letting Media Lead.
Coupons.
News.
News.
News.

Maybe I just don’t effing care.
Maybe that means that I am a bad person for not giving two sh*ts.
Or MAYBE….
Just maybe,
it means that I have discovered that when I choose to focus in on things that support my mindset to be positive,
my emotions to be stable, and my focus to be on being and doing the things that I can be in control of that I am…..

Wait for it…

HAPPY.

Yep there I said it.
I am HAPPY.
Are you?

Because if that sorta thing really matters to your life picture,
then I sure the f-ck don’t want your life.
If saving five cents at the pump,
a dollar on milk,
or fifty cents on Lay’s potato chips
is what makes or break your day,
then maybe you need a little bit of a check in on
what life purpose is about.

Well I can tell you one thing,
if you are like these two women that I saw this morning at the coffee shop,
then you are being a sheeple.
You are allowing this world to dictate your mindset.
Your emotions.
and therefore,
your actions.

Which also means that you are most likely buying into the bullsh*t belief structures that you have to live pay check to pay check.
That being happy is something only Hollywood can make happen in a movie.
That you have to sacrifice your desires,
and be responsible by never doing what you want.

You more than likely also think that government has your back.
That the reason gasoline is cheap right now is because there is suddenly an extra reserve of it.

That saving fifty cents on milk will change your retirement fund.

Well, that is all a bunch of non-sense.
The truth is,
you are so effing POWERFUL.
You can have your hearts desires.
You can have all the abundance that you want.
And YES you….

YOU…
Can be happy.

The trick is simple.
Let the f-ck go of your belief that this above stuff matters to your happiness.

Let go of worrying about gasoline prices and who in the white house is sleeping with who.

Let go of the belief that you have to be average.
Or that average will ever bring you joy.

Sure it might be comfortable.
At times.
But has it ever REALLY made you happy?

You say,
no it has not made me happy?
You want for more?

Well then…
CHANGE YOUR REALITY.

And NEWSFLASH…..
Change will always be uncomfortable at the start.
You will never have anything close to happiness,
close to abundance,
close to success,
in any area of your life,
if you value comfort over happiness.

There I said it.
You Value Comfort Over Happiness.

Don’t shake your head at me.
I feel you shaking your head in disagreement.
All the excuses and reasons popping up in your mind right now,
as to why you have not done what you know you need and want.
Why you cannot have what you want and need RIGHT NOW.
Yeah I get it.
I have been there.
I go there still for moments.

But you have chosen to set up camp there baby.
You have bought the package deal,
where you give your life,
for something that steals your precious time here on this planet.
With your families.
In joy.

And this thing I speak of is NOT your job.
This thing is your AVERAGE Thinking.
Average allowing.
Average loving.
Average accepting.
Average beliefs.
Average drive for life.
And you are doing it right now,
by remaining comfortable.
By paying more attention to facebook threads,
the media blah-blah,
and the price of gasoline.

SO as always,
It is your choice.
It always is baby.
It is up to you to have the life you want or to ACCEPT what you got.

What will it be?

I know what I choose.
FREEDOM Based Living.
A F-ck YES! Lifestyle.
And saying YES,
Yes to me.
Yes to happiness.
to connection.
to love.
to abundance.
and to being uncomfortable for a time,
so that I can have the blessings I want.

As always,

“Stop Existing & Start Living”

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Warrior of the Goddesses Heart

I know what I want.
I know my desire.
I feel my heart yearning.
Calling for me to breathe,
breathe life back into it.
To not fear love.
Or to be loved.
To not belittle love,
offered at my doorway.

I hear my lovers words,
the sweetness they make,
the commitment they stand before,
the desire that erupts in them,
and the love.
The love that they are carried on.

I hear him share his heart,
I feel his soul hold space,
for me as I share in return.
I share my fear.
I share my struggle,
I share my desire.
And I want to run.

Can he be the one that can hold me?
Is he willing to really love me?
Or will he crumble
from my weight,
the weight of who I am
and all I want to become.

His words are nothing new to my ears.
Unfortunate tales that many a sailor in my feminine currents have sung before him.

They all long to be the one.
They long to capture my heart.

They enjoy my body,
they are intrigued by my mind,
they get lifted by my spirit,
but they know that the true battle,
the crusade is for my heart.

And it is a heart that has been scorned,
a heart that has been tossed away as it opened deeper.

My lover looks at me with loving eyes,
he aims to penetrate my soul,
he desires for me to feel his commitment,
his certainty,
he is confident that he can hold me
and dance in my fire.

His voice echos words of my past loves.
He shares he does not want me to change.
He does not want to control me.
That he,
yes he can love me and I am not to much.

I feel his heart,
I hear his belief,
but these words are easy to say,
while you sit by the fire and get caught up in its mystery.
What will he do when my fire escapes its container?
What will he do when it desires to over take his heart?
When it burns,
burns in its glory,
in its beauty.

Sure he will enjoy its dance,
but will he be able to handle it being ignited?

Through time and space we dance,
we open and close.
I look away but for a second,
as I sense him leaning in.
My soul wants to be taken.
My heart wants to be penetrated.
But alas,
the fear conquers them.
It masks the emotions that beg to be seen,
and it makes me retreat.

Retreat once again,
I will.
Back into my lonely cave.
Where I feel safe.
Safe in my not having.
Safe in my not being seen,
if even for a bit longer.
Yet he still see’s me.
And I know this.
He leans in further,
his lips softly open,
he asks for a kiss.

My heart shakes,
it rumbles in fear and excitement.
For all it ever wants,
wants to be chased,
wants to be desired,
wants to be opened,
wants to not be given up on.

In its wanting,
he steps a bit further into the fire,
and proclaims his presence.
Asking for my depth.
Asking for my emotion.
Asking for my fire.

And so it is,
that I breathe in.
Just one breath,
just one perhaps.

And answer him in the only way I can,
in this moment.
This perfect moment of our lives.

“As you wish.”
Comes from my lips as we meet once again.

————————–————————–

To all those who have loved and lost,
loved deeper than they can ever share,
who have tasted true love and will never settle for anything less than.

To all those who have stood in the goddesses fire,
who have been burned, who have been mesmerized by its flames and desired to conquer it.

To all those who want to feel its ignition,
who believe that they can hold it.
And dance with it.

Much love to you this day.
Open yourselves to love,
as it is what makes you feel alive.
It births your soul into all it desires,
all it needs and can be.

And let yourself be seen.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

 

Is Your Dream Killing You?

Are you a dreamer?
I sure am.

You have dreams.
You have BIG dreams.
I know you do.
Everyone does.

But the thing about dreams is that they are just that,
DREAMS.
When we speak of our dreams,
we have the feeling of something that may never happen,
they are set off into the distance of time and space,
they are something that we might “wish” for,
but in our core feel they are unattainable.

That is why they are dreams after all.
Just like the dreams that we have in our sleep,
our waking dreams are fleeting in the moments of life,
they come in and they squeeze us,
make us want for something more,
may even cause us suffering and pain for not having them.

Dreams blossom in our minds and heart
and they beg for us to pay attention,
but life feeds us evidence quiet often,
showing us just how hard it is to achieve these dreams,
or how goofy we are to believe that we can ever get them to manifest.

And so we are dreamers.
And even in writing this statement,
and perhaps for you to read it,
there is a negative charge around the word,
there is hesitation,
pain and discomfort,
there is a sensation of tightness in the reality,
that dreamers just dream.

It is through hard work,
being practical,
and settling into what life is really about that you succeed.
That you SURVIVE.

Dreamers are fun and all.
Dreaming is beautiful, creative and gives us hope.
But it is not logical.

Or so we are brainwashed into believing.
We are daily hounded into the practiced thinking of this.
We are reminded,
by what we have been practicing by the evidence of our lives and how things unfold and manifest.
So we put more into the thinking and feeling of what is before us,
without the trust that we can change our tomorrow by changing our mindset.

But the truth is,
that dreams do come true.
And they are gifted to you to become reality through your abilities, your focus, your energy.
That is why you have the dreams that you have.
You and ONLY you are meant to manifest them.
However, you will never achieve those manifestations without clarity, joy and trust.
You must LET GO of all those things that cause resistance to the creation of your dreams.
You must embrace the fact that your true work is from within.
It is in focusing on the thoughts and feelings that stir in you.
It is the realization that yes perhaps your BIG dreams are too big for you,
but NOT because they are actually too big,
but because of the practiced thoughts that you have around achieving them.

Do you believe that you must work hard for your dreams?
Do you believe that you must suffer in some way?
Pay a price to have your dream?
That you must earn it and become worthy of it?
Do you believe that you are being too selfish or greedy in wanting it?
Do you believe that dreamers only dream?

For decades I too have fought with these paralyzing beliefs. I grew up poor, my family struggled to make ends meet and my parents told me consistently that I could not have. My teachers and friends, society all supported these statements and educated me into believing that hard work, suffering and compromise was what had to happen and even with those things that at best I would live pay check to pay check.

Don’t think you can only work 8 hour a week Kendal.
Don’t think you can do something you love and get paid well for it.
Don’t think you can have a multi-six business with no college education.
Don’t think that you can travel the world.
Don’t think that you have a strong support system.
Don’t think that you can ever be loved.
Don’t…
Don’t…
Don’t….

STOP your dreaming, it will get you know where.
Those DREAMS are unrealistic, let’s bring it back a notch.

Yes here is what I was told.
Here are some of the thoughts that still pop up in my psyche today,
that have hindered me through the years.

Sound familiar?

Well REALITY CHECK….

The ONLY f-cking reason any dream is ever too BIG,
is because you believe it is too big for you and you look daily for evidence to support this stinking thinking.

That is it.
God gifted you with those dreams,
and God does not make mistakes.

You have those desires,
those dreams,
for a reason.

You and ONLY YOU,
are meant to manifest them.

You say you want to be worthy of them,
then act on them.
And you will be worthy.
Stop talking about it.

The BIGGEST action you need to take for your dreams manifestation is to come to terms with the fact that YOU ARE IN CONTROL of what you think about.

You can change your thoughts and your feelings,
thus your vibe,
and manifest anything you desire.

It all starts with what you are focusing on.

Stop being so serious about everything.
Dreaming is fun.
Dreaming is playful.
Dreaming is creative.

So why are you making it all out to be such a BIG chore?
Oh, because you have to suffer,
you have to turn it into work.

Well F-ck that sh*t!!!!

Dreams come into reality when you let go of all the drama and chaos.
When you embrace the JOY.
Do you really think that you are going to find the motivation to deliberately create your dream life when you are dreading taking action to do it?

Do you really believe that the answer to creating that freedom based life is to cause yourself more suffering and agony?

Do you really think that you are going to call into your world all the joy, love and abundance by fixating on worry and fear of not having enough?

I can tell you one thing for certain,
If you are not living your F-ck YES! Life right now in any way,
then you,
and only you,
can change it.

The answer is simple,
when you are in alignment to your soul,
you will feel good and the results will unfold like magic before you.

If you are not having these two things happen,
then you are NOT in alignment with soul.

You are denying who you really are.
And you are stepping away from your power.

Most likely because you were told you had too,
and it was the way to success,
somewhere along the journey,
you bought this lie.

And NOW you wake everyday,
looking for supportive evidence to make it a reality.

Consciously or not.
You are doing it.
And you can change it.

TODAY.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

Stop Gripping Your THING.

What are you holding on for?
Why won’t you just simply let go and let it flow?
It really is not that difficult.
But NO….

No, there you are fighting it.
There you are hanging on because you cannot let go.
You say that you are in flow,
you say that you got this alignment thing down.
You say that you are feeling good about it.

Blissed out!
Right?

WRONG!!!

Don’t be trying to fool the world,
cuz’ the world sees you.
You know how you are seen?
Through the eye’s that you see yourself with,
this is how the world sees you too.
It’s in your walk,
it’s in your talk,
your body language,
how you sit,
how you shake hands,
the faces you make,
the tone of voice you have.

You think no one can see that constriction?
LOL

Okay.

Whatever.

Let’s be real,
let’s have some respect for each other and self here,
and just state the facts.

You are scared that if you let go,
and let life catch you,
that you just trust that God has your back,
that you will fall.
That you will fail.
That you will die somehow.

You feel the pain,
the suffering right now,
from this fear.

Don’t you?

I mean look here it is the day after Thanksgiving,
it’s the coming of the end of the year.
The holiday’s are upon you,
the demands are many,
the fininances required to make it through the next 30, 45, or 60 days is massive.
You have choices.
You can go into debt some more,
you can just say,
“No, I am broke, I can’t.”
You can ignore the whole damn thing and drink,
or you can figure out a way to make sh*t happen.

And you want to make sh*t happen.
You want to have a killer holiday season.
You don’t want it to be last year,
or the last ten years.
You want it be fantastic.

You want to wake up on Christmas morning to the faces of your loved one’s and feel good,
you want to experience the love,
the joy,
the excitement.

You want to feel proud.

Don’t you?

But what will it take?
What will it cost you?

Money?
Time?
Energy?

Yeah, all of that is true.
The real cost though is not these things.
The real cost is something far greater.
The cost is why you are not doing it yet.
Why you feel that tugging in your gut,
that constriction in your chest,
that anxiety,
the reason why you are not sleeping so well,
the reason why you are drinking more,
the reason you are distant,

YES.
That is the reason.
That is the THING.

And you know the THING.
The THING that is bringing you the suffering.
That premature suffering for things that have not manifested yet.

Yeppers, that is it.

So why are you giving yourself,
your life to this THING?

Oh you say you have too.
You say that if you let go of that THING that you would perish for sure,
you say that focusing in on this THING is what is going to guarantee you not to experience it?

Mmmmmmmm- Hmmmmmmmmm….

Okay.
Whatever you say.

And with that we have the truth.
It is whatever you say,
REPEATEDLY…
In your own f-cking head.
Yes, that is what shall be.

And what are you saying?
Oh, you are worried about that THING are you.
That beast that you have yet to come up against.
That event that will take you out,
destroy you,
well NEWS FLASH!!!!!!!

It already has destroyed you.

Look at you.
You are stressed out to the max,
and all over that THING that has not happened,
and guess what most likely an 80% + chance that it won’t ever happen either.

But it has already knocked you down.
Because you are sitting around agonizing over IT.

Yes.
So STOP that Mother F-cking Sh*t,
and LET GO.

Instead,
go DO-BE-HAVE the life that you know you crave.
It is all up to you.
It is all up to where you choose to apply your focus.

You want the glass to be half empty,
then so be it.
And you know what that will get you…
the same thing you have been suffering through already.

Or….
You can opt to look at all that you have,
all the blessings,
all the joys,
all the love,
all the abundance.

It is all over you.
If you will just open up to it.
So change that stinking thinking,
and EMBRACE your TRUTH.

The CHOICE is up to you,
It always has been.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebookfor my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

Perfect Moments.

Perfect moments.
We all have them.
We all want more of them.
And we often miss them when they are before us.

We miss them because we look for non-perfect moments more than we do perfect ones.
And just like miracles,
which happen frequently,
we believe that they are hard to come by,
and only catch the one’s that shoot off fireworks right in front of our face.

Perfect moments,
yes, this is what my topic of today is on.
As I sit here on this beautiful morning looking over the ocean and the cliffs in front of the plateau am resting on,
the Jamaican sun rises behind me,
a cool tropical breeze blows across me,
There is no one out here currently,
it my little private spot in Jamaica for the moment.

I breathe in this moment,
as I find gratitude for it,
and gratitude for the moments of yesterday.
The souls that crossed my path,
the moments that could have gone one way but went another,
the experiences,
the laughter,
the times of not knowing what to expect,
and breathing into the opportunity for life to bring me something.

Perfect moments.
They are all around us.
If we let them reveal themselves,
we find that they are like lost lovers from our past that we wish we could have another moment with,
they come to us,
they come to us with the expectation to embraced,
they come to us with the desire to awakened in our arms,
they come to us wanting to be seen,
and provided the space,
the awareness to show themselves.

They want us to bask in them,
to taste them,
to dance.
But these perfect moments,
we miss.

We miss the opportunities that they carry with them out of the fear of opening the door to something that we are uncomfortable with,
or the belief that we are not worthy of a perfect moment.
Just like so often we belief that we are not worthy of a perfect lover,
or a perfect financial increase,
or perfect health,
or perfect work.

We carry with us in place of all that tries to make itself known the concept that these things are hard to come by.

The idea, that they are not for us.
They are for the special people,
and that is often not us.

But here is the thing I want to share with you this amazing morning,
the thing is that perfect moments are your reality.

Miracles are your reality.
Opportunities are your reality.
Perfect lovers,
Financial abundance,
Incredible health,
and so much more,
all those things you desire and crave that are good and fulfilling are your reality.

The way to have them manifest consistently for you is through your expectation of them.

You MUST EXPECT.
You MUST KNOW and have clarity around them.
You MUST change your belief structures around what you call into your life,
and this means that if you want to be lucky in life,
then proclaim that you are lucky.
And when your vibration,
your expectation is in alignment and turned on to that that you desire,
it WILL just come to you.
Or maybe I should say you will come to it.
Because it is YOU,
not it that must bring your vibration into alignment.
You will never get what you desire to change its frequency,
It just is.

So what is it that you want in your life?
What do you want to start claiming in this perfect moment for your life?

Know that you are the BOSS BABY!
You always have been and you will never not be.
This world will bend for you,
it will manifest your desires,
and you can always tell where the perfect moments are,
by staying tuned into your vibration,
your flow.

Listen to your heart.
Allow yourself to feel.
And that means to feel the moment.
The perfect moment,
even if it appears to be a perfect storm, ‘it is offering to you of itself,
that which will guide you to the next opportunity,
a step closer to all that you want,
as long as you are in tune to it and willing to see.

Create your desired life today.

Claim it Baby!
You are worthy of a perfect moment.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

Proceed in Gratitude and Grace.

Capitol’s Log
One tequila.
Two tequila.
Three tequila.
Delete.
 
Yeppers that just happened.
So here I sit in Florida at the Casa Noble bar,
I spent the last hour writing an amazing share on travel,
on how it brings forth our authentic selves, ‘our authentic fears,
programs,
expectations and so much more.
I sat here, chatting with airport staff,
with travelers,
and my travel partner.
And I wrote a great article for you.
 
But you will never see it.
Nope this you will not.
Because of tequila.
and a accident with my fingers.
 
Thought I was copying when I was cutting.
Woops.
 
For a moment I was frustrated.
For a moment I was disappointed.
For a moment my ego held me.
It held me in it’s ego grip and it made me mad.
 
I felt stupid.
I felt like a mess up.
 
And then I breathed a little deeper into myself.
Into this moment,
and I laughed.
 
Realizing that accidents happen,
and all this happen for a reason.
 
I laughed it off.
And I went pee.
 
I got a break from my computer screen.
I took a break from what I thought I should be doing,
I took a break from the energetic demands that I had put on myself,
and I allowed myself to just breathe into the reality,
that it was okay.
 
Sure it was a good article.
It was a valuable share.
It was something that you would have liked.
And it was raw, real and from my heart.
It was my noticing’s.
And it was sharing how important travel is for our development as human beings.
 
It was revealing the truth on how travel show’s our truth, through the many issues that can happen when we travel.
 
How we deal with life as it emerges before us.
My noticing’s of fellow travelers,
their stress,
their drama,
their excitement.
 
And as I sit here at my layover to Jamaica,
I watch the people.
I watch all that they have to share with all those that they never will see again.
And those that they cherish.
I watch and I listen.
And what comes to play is our ego.
 
And funny enough,
as soon as I get done writing and get ready to post,
I have a mishap myself and delete my whole post.
 
OMFG!!!!
 
And what am I greeted by?
My ego.
Stepping up to the plate of life withing a 10th of a second.
Here I am.
Here I am to share my frustration.
My disappointment.
 
Here I am.
Don’t you want to merge with me?
Don’t you want to explore this faulse-hood that I want to paint for you?
If you had not drank that last tequila drink,
you would not have effed up.
If you had been more present,
you would have been on top of your game.
But no,
no, you effed up Kendal.
You hit the wrong button on your key pad and lost it all.
 
So do I let ego rule me?
Do I let it cause disappointment?
Do I let it sink it’s teeth into my moment?
 
F-ck NO!!!!!
 
It is moments just like this,
where the feeling of time lost,
moments lost,
shares lost,
disappointment,
frustration,
and whatever else might rise comes in that I am grateful for.
 
Gratitude for the experience of ego.
Gratitude for the presence to witness it.
To know that I have a choice.
Gratitude for the expansion if I so choose to allow it,
by not leaning in toward all that could mess up my day,
could make me feel bad about myself,
Gratitude that I give myself some grace.
In moments like this,
and many others,
that is what we need GRACE.
 
We are each but human,
and in our humanness,
we make mistakes,
we f-ck up left and right.
We hurt others,
we fumble the ball,
we delete masterpieces,
and we have a choice.
 
We have a choice to scold ourselves,
to blame and shame,
or to proceed in love and trust.
 
With gratitude and grace.
 
One tequila,
Two tequila,
Three tequila,
Delete.
 
Yes.
These are the moments that meet ourselves.
How do we react?
How do we choose to proceed?
How quickly can we bound back from our mistakes?
 
Ego,
will grab a hold of us if we let it.
It will rule us and shame us.
It will have us believe that being human is evil and a sin just for breathing,
but it is always our choice as to what we choose to do with our experiences.
 
It is our choice,
to lean into ego’s arms,
or into the love and compassion,
the grace of God and our souls.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
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