The Lie You Have Been Told and Believe

 

You know the lie.

It’s that lie that you tell yourself everyday of the week, sometimes twice on Sunday because your dreading the following morning.

Yes that lie.

The lie that all you have to do to be happy is:

  1. Work Hard
  2. Get Good Grades
  3. Get into a Great College
  4. Get a Job
  5. Make Money
  6. Buy a House and Car
  7. Get Married

And Voilà Your HAPPY!

I am writing this article because I have a son graduating this year from high school. He is feeling such a tremendous amount of pressure from his peers, teachers, and counselors around HAVING to have his whole life planned out. None of them understand how he can not have a life plan yet. Some are even deeply concerned about his future and ability to do anything “worth while” because he has no plan other than to survive the rest of this school year.

I suppose they are all right, after all he is considered an adult now at age 18. He has had a sufficient amount of years on this earth to know who he is, what he wants and how to go about getting it.  All the other seniors are making their life plans and sending in college applications for education in the industry of their hearts desire or at least have decided on a career path that will pay them well and they will be successful at.

So WTF is wrong with my kid?

Such a looser he is.  Not having any of this stuff figured out.

Funny thing ya know, he is actually planning on packing his bag and moving to Maui, planning on hiking, diving, surfing and enjoying his feet in the sand. Planning on reading books he loves, and just hanging out and embracing life as it comes to him, moment by moment.

The ONLY issue with this plan of his, is that is DOES NOT fit the societal norm of SUCCESS.

And how the hell can anyone be happy if they don’t have a college degree? or 100k in debt? or are not getting up five days a week working for the man?

There is no freaking’ way someone can be legitimately happy just living life without ALL that!

No instead of all that my son has decided that he will work in the food industry while he learns more about himself and life. While he discovers what his passion is. He has decided that he would make some small investments into crypto currency and learn about flipping properties.  Although he does have a passion for art and could easily also look at becoming a tattoo artist if he desired as well. Maybe he will do all of it? Maybe he will do none?

What he does know is that the way the average minded person works hard, goes into debt and gives away their life is NOT what he wants.

He knows that although his passion is with the ocean and marine life that what he really wants to do would take him until he was 40 to get the position he wants and he most likely would end up settling somewhere along the line for something much less than his hearts desire because he “had too.” After all life happens and with it come responsibilities.

Then life becomes all about duty.

Duty to pay the bills.

Duty to take care of the house and car.

Duty to get up and go and make someone else rich.

Duty to be a good person.

Duty to get into a serious relationship.

Duty to make your spouse happy.

Duty, duty, duty!

And then you die!

That is it. That is all this whole existence is about. Doesn’t that sound wonderful. Yes, so I guess he had best have that life plan in order in the next 8 weeks, before life comes charging after him and making him surrender to it’s will of living without passion, without true love, without purpose and without happily ever after.

Yep he had best just stand up and be a man and do what all young men do. Make their parents proud by doing what they are told and getting into the right college and then the right job. The job that will suck the very life from his vein’s and make him wish Monday would never come  again.

Well NOT MY KID!

Guess it is the curse of having a mom who parents like God. I will love him no matter what he chooses to do and I know for certain that he can do anything he puts his mind too. I also know for certain that the lie that we have all been told is just that: A LIE.

I know this because I thought it was truth and I beat myself up for many years not feeling worthy because I had not done what the world said I should do. Instead I ended up becoming a young mother, married early and struggling. It was not a shock as to why I was struggling. I had not followed the plan above.  And then, then I started to paint the picture of the plan and follow it some and guess what?

I was still struggling.

I was still unhappy.

I had the job. The house. The husband. The car.

And the debt.

I was being a  good citizen. A good friend, daughter, mother, and spouse.

So why was I not happy yet?

I was not living for me.

I was not being me.

I was FAKING it all!

Just Like you are. Yep I am calling you out on this RIGHT NOW. I bet that you are within the 85%-90% of the population that is faking their lives. I bet that you dread going to bed on Sunday and getting up on Monday. I bet that you live for the 5 o’clock hour. You live for weekends, vacations and holidays.  I bet that you have your responsibilities taken care of and that you feel like a ATM machine for your kids and family. I bet that you wish you could do something else, but  believe that you could never do it because it would not pay the bills.

Last thing you want is to be irresponsible.

I bet that even though you have that debt, that you are pretty comfortable with it because that debt is a sign that you went to school, got a degree and did it right. It is a sign that you bought the house and the car. It is a sign that you bought the furniture and have credit! Woohoo!!!! for credit.

It is a sign that you are a effing ADULT and your adulting the right way too, damn it!

But does this mean your happy?

Seriously, ask yourself this now.

AM I HAPPY?

Am I happy?

Am I?

Well, are you?

I feel you. I feel that stomach ache. The tension in your neck and shoulders. The mild headache coming on and the fear and the desire for happiness.

Face it you were designed for more.

That is why your not happy with just settling for paying your bills and being responsible.  You were designed for greatness!

The only thing  STOPPING you from this greatness.

Is YOU.

Yes, actually NO. That is the issue, you keep saying NO to yourself. You keep saying that you can’t, that your not worth it, that your not smart enough. That you should not want more. That it is stupid to want more. To be more.

The issue is that you BELIEVE the lie still and you are WAITING for happiness to come from this lie.

The TRUTH BABY is this, that if you want happiness, then you are going to have to CREATE it.

And it DOES NOT come from living a small life, where you have settled for the lie. No it comes from you EMBRACING who you are.

Embracing that you were born WORTHY.

Embracing that you are POWERFUL.

Embracing that it is NOT what you choose to do as a career, but who you choose to be as a person.

Embracing your joy.

Embracing your YES!

And consistently asking yourself, “What makes me happy?”

Consistently,  seeking out new layers of yourself and being curious in life.

Buying the Bullsh*t Lie that we have all been told since we were small, buying into the pain, the suffering, the “worker bee” mentality of average and ordinary, will NEVER make you happy.

So when will you start to say YES to your dreams?

To your heart?

To your joy?

To your happiness?

When will you START to be a F*ck YES to the Most IMPORTANT person you know- YOU?

I hope you say that today is your lucky day.

Because I believe in you.

And so does God.

Stop Existing and Start Living!

 

 

Living The Shift: The Union Between Sexuality & Spirituality as Part of our Evolution

sexnspirit

For some time, we have created and perpetuated the belief that sexuality and spirituality are two very different boxes in our lives, along with the idea that sex is dirty, impure, and “ungodly” – only acceptable for reproduction. The treatment of this part of ourselves as forbidden and primal has led us to using the act of sex in many debasing ways and has greatly minimized, if not eliminated altogether, the idea that sexuality is actually one of the doorways to help us remember our Divinity.

When we shift to accepting its higher vibration, our sexuality becomes a sacred form of self-realization and opening to the higher self, as well as opening to full union of higher love and connection with another. In this way, it’s incorporated as a crucial part of our spiritual evolution!

Our guest this week is Kendal Williams (www.tantrictransformation.com), a Tantric practitioner whose lifetime journey to self-empowerment presented itself through the melding of her sexuality and spirituality.

Listen to the recorded talk via VoiceAmerica

livingtheshift

Living the Shift: Our Evolution of Body, Mind, and Spirit

The Union Between Sexuality and Spirituality as Part of Our Evolution

Show date: 7/30/13

Key Notes from Kendal’s Interview

Angela: Please cover the highlights of your background, how your journey led you to finding your spirituality within your sexuality.

Kendal: Spirituality has been in my life forever. Sexuality was too, but I did not understand it as such. The world has always turned me on, everything about it. Even as a child I was fascinated and turned on my nature and by everything the world had to offer me. However it was not until my teen years that I was opened up to the possibilities. Love stepped into my life with a young man who was my first teacher. He brought a greater scope of spirituality into my life by introducing me to the concepts and practices of Tantra. Our lovemaking and deep connection opened me to life and the unity of spirituality and sexuality. My real lessons in love and in life  happened though when he left and my heart crumbled into pain. This allowed me to experience the rawness of life and great beauty came from it. I turned and walked down the path of what I call the, “white picket fence life,” You could say I strived for the American dream. Success. Or what we are taught success is, the house, car, travel, money, etc. I married and had children. We went through much chaos and learning and grew spiritually even though neither of us were consciously aware of the lessons at hand. Over the course of 17 years our paths slowly separated and our lessons needed to manifest apart from each other. Toward the end of my marriage I called into my life a teacher. I started paying attention to the omens/signs around me and reconnected to the spirit that I had always knew.  During this time of my life I was introduced to kabbalah and learned about the ego and how to expand our light body as well as the meeting of Duncan Knight (my tantra teacher and now dear friend).  I knew three things at this point: 1) I needed healing personally, I was numb to life and if I felt anything it was rage and depression 2) I wanted my relationship to my husband healed but was not caught up on any given physical outcome of that, whatever healed meant was good for me  and 3) I wanted to become a practitioner.

As I worked with Duncan my lower chakras started to awaken and heal, with this my desire for living life and feeling was summed back. I was horny. My kundalini was awakening and as it did I decided that I needed to explore sexuality deeper and expand out. This awakening brought reality into a clear picture, I wanted lovers in my life. I wanted sensual expression in my life. I wanted experience and I wanted the courage to do what was needed. I was scared to death of each step I had to take, but the universe provided me with many perfect souls that would become my guides, teachers of life, mirrors, lovers and friends and even a few that would come through to teach the hard lessons of pain and suffering. This time of life was full of miracles when I look back at it. Even as I worked through tough issues such as rape and the separation of a 17 year marriage I now can see the great beauty in what was being provided.

In the unity and healing of my sexuality and spirituality I opened the gateway to harmony, peace, unconditional love and acceptance of self and others and the ability to live unbound.

Angela: What is the difference between basic sexuality, as we generally know it today, and what sexuality can be (and provide) in its optimal state?

Kendal: Its ALL about integration. The integration of sexual pleasure and spiritual surrender. We do this when we learn to love and trust in life, not just in our intimate relationships. Openness is about the body opening up, our muscles relaxing, our hearts opening instead of hiding behind emotional blockades; where spiritual openness is fully feeling into each moment of life, feeling that there is NO separation between us and that precious moment of the present. When we do this we reach optimal bliss and passion not just in our lovemaking but in our daily lives. You see when we get turned on in the bedroom we are also getting turned on to life. Sex is a creative process that wants to manifest miracles. We are the ONLY species that has the ability to not only experience great pleasure from our “mating” but also not have it be mating, instead we have the great blessing of sex for pleasure and manifestation. This is where we need to start to except sex’s greatest gift to us. In our sexing we are able to expand our vessels and fill ourselves with an enormous amount of life force energy, if we open to this power of the creator and align our thoughts in the moment or orgasm to what we want to manifest in life then we can draw down these things, out of the quantum field of possibilities and have them materialize into our lives.
Angela: Does someone have to be in a relationship to explore this part of themselves? Please expound on this a little bit.

Kendal: Absolutely NOT. Some of the best and most powerful, spiritually evolving as well as educational sex is provided in the presence of no one other then ourselves. Self pleasuring is mandatory weather you are in a relationship or not. And I highly recommend that if you are single that you take this opportunity to work on yourself both sexually and spiritually. With self- pleasuring in a spiritual sense you learn to become the shaman of your life, you learn about your body, what you like and don’t like, you learn about your energy and how it flows through you at orgasm and if you are wise you will allow yourself to be witness to not only the pleasurable events of energy flowing but how your energy flows when you are upset, depressed or otherwise. How do these times relate in energy flow to orgasm and how can you direct that energy for the greatest good instead of what normally happens, a short circuit and then exhaustion. Through the practice of spiritual sex (weather alone or not) you can acquire powerful tools of self control, self love, acceptance, healing and learn to open to your own personal vortex of abundance.

Angela: What would be your advice to someone who’s put sexuality low on the priority scale in their spiritual evolution?

Kendal: Leaving sexuality out of spirituality is like trying to be positive all the time in life, by doing this we abandon part of ourselves. We are not being authentic. And by doing that we remain at the level that the part of us that we abandoned is still sitting. Only through embracing all of ourselves, including our kinks and dysfunctions, our traumas and our desires, our angels, saints and devils will we ever be able to become the full expression of love that the creator wants us to be. This is true surrender and surrender is powerful for our spiritual/emotional and physical growth. You have to remember that the thing that all of us that consciously walk a spiritual path subscribe to is the power of love, well that love-force that moves through the universe is also the same love force that breathes our breath and enables our hearts to beat as well as our genitals to experience orgasm. The only reason we don’t accept sex as a spiritual force is because of 2500 years of fear being programmed into us. When this fear dissolves, we no longer separate ourselves from the creator, we become part of the infinite flow of life. Opening sexually is opening to this flow of life. When we are having sex we are (if we are a man) penetrating the world with our presence in the moment, with our strength, our passion, our purpose. We are guiding the energy of the universe into what we want to manifest. (if we are a woman) the more we open our legs and allow ourselves to be penetrated we open to abundance, creation, love and surrender. In this we women carry with us the infinite universe within our wombs where we can manifest our dreams into reality.

 

Angela: What would you recommend as the first step for anyone wanting to explore their sexuality in a spiritual way – both individually and in a relationship?

Kendal: There are two first steps.

Learn to breathe. Breath is not only the essence of our soul but in learning how to properly breathe you will gain great insight into yourself, as well as have the most powerful step toward connecting, maintaining and controlling your life force energy. In our breath we can connect our spirits and travel up the spiritual ladder to heaven, we can expand our orgasmic state out into the world and fill our physical bodies with a sustainable energy that will carry us for days. Breath is the gateway to higher consciousness and sex that can heal and transform us as well as our world.

The second step is:

Have more sex. Really get properly sexed open every day if you can. Single or in a relationship take the time each day to have an orgasm and when you do come, breathe it in and allow it to fill your body, relax your muscles instead of tensing up and envision in your minds eye what you want to create. Consciously surrender into this state of pleasure with the feeling, vision and desire of the life you want to have.

Divine Marriage — kundalini and tantra

Throughout the annals of mythology and spirituality, the devi – Kunti – (the Yin/Shakti opposite Yang/Shiva) has taken many forms and faces; some of these are translated accurately, others are not. Many have become owned (over time) by some cannonisation, doctrine .. or set of dogmatic rules.

Wholeness and the first separation

At the deepest and most primordial, Yin and Yang .. deva and devi are the first separation but, they are never separate. In Hindi, she is Shakti, he is Shiva

deva : d’e’v’a is the primordial masculine principle; an essence or principle, originally; ‘a bright or shining one’ from *div– to shine; the “sign” or “omen” of the energy which pervades; bestowing, producing or imparting; as with hot fire or passion from “above” (as in Heavenly); sometimes seen as a “gift” with the concept of going inward, within or in; the life in-breath; as an aspect of Brahma

devi : dh’e’v’i is the primordial feminine principle; placement or holding; potential to go beyond or transcend; consciousness potential as in “hidden” or “the inner self” with wonder, awe; the energy which pervades ; bestowing, producing or imparting; as with cold fire or passion of receptivity; that which has the potential to ‘learn’ or evolve as the essence of compassion with the power to obtain or become something else

Yoga, itself, is the UNION of the deva and the devi — masculine and feminine — Yin and Yang — Shiva and Shakti

The Tibetans go one step further; they call it Tantra – describing it as the warp and weft of the cloth as in the “sacred” weaving

akin to Christianity’s “Divine Marriage” of the Heavenly Bride (Yin, the devi) and Bridegroom (Yang, the deva) .. for it is written:

Tao gave birth to One;
One gave birth to Two;
Two gave birth to Three;
Three gave birth to the ten thousand things.
The ten thousand things carry Yin and embrace Yang
The two primordial breaths blend and produce harmony.

The Tao or “The Way of All Things” is a flow, an inter-penetration, an omniscience and an omnipotence and a homeostasis of both masculine and feminine, positive and negative principles

7000 years of Kundalini and the divine marriage

The elements of the Force and the Field were inscribed on a tortise shell 5000 or so years ago; “k’un” is of the earth; the feminine; the energy of life.

Hindu’s derived the name Cunti/Kundi and all its variations that have formed the roots of Country, Kind and Kildare; Kundalini as it is propogated by the purveyors of “authentic Western Guru’s” is nothing more than a thought-form (Tulpa) far removed from the Sanskrit roots of the word.

But then, the Primordial Feminine the first separation from the void is something that the conscious mind cannot manipulate or control for the simple reason that this one bit computer is nothing more than the product of one’s dis-eased feminine .. a feminine that is separated from the Void.

The Divine Marriage — cross culturally

The feminine is the field in the pairing of the force and the field; she is sometimes represented as ‘of the manifestation‘ … ‘of the earth‘. In the Christian prayer, we find “Thy Will be done in Earth as it is in Heaven“.

To most, she is mysterious, deep, dark sultry ..

She is Serena (from the Latin serene) unagitated; without losing self-possession; calm; tranquil; fertile; she was a ‘Golden Hind‘ (female deer) in ‘Hercules: The Legendary Journeys

She is also Tara, the devi Hindu Mahavidya, the saving aspect of the Goddess who in Buddhist terms is the female deity (devi) representing enlightened activity and fearlessness.

In Polynesian Mythology, she is the ‘sea goddess’; the ruler of the element of water.

But, she is also Diana the virgin, the equivalent of the Greek Artemis born with her twin brother Apollo.

And so, before it was corrupted, we have the story of the Virgin Mary — so much a parallel to the story of Kunti in the Mahabaratra

She is Ishtar .. the Assyrian and Babylonian counterpart to the Sumerian Inanna and to the cognate northwest Semitic goddess Astarte

Divine mysteries of Islam

Before Muhammad brought the religion of Islam to Arabia, the Arabs polytheistic (many gods) people. Hindu merchants frequently passed through Makkah, (now Mekka) a major trading hub.

Ancient Indian Vedic texts refer to Makkah as a place where Alla the Mother Goddess was worshiped. In Sanskrit, Alla means “mother.”

This name was connected to the Hindu Goddess Ila. She was the consort of the Hindu God Sivain his form known as Il, and this form of Siva was known and worshiped in pre-Islamic Makkah. A great deal of cultural and spiritual interchange took place between the merchants of Makkah and India.

Rumi (1207 – 1273) writes:

“Woman is the radiance of God; she is not your beloved.
She is the Creator—you could say that she is not created.”

So, once again, we have a whore word .. Alla as the divine feminine, the “moon”, the goddess of Fertility, the symbol of womanhood .. transliterated from Ancient Aramaic as “sin“. Moon was worshipped in its threefold existence – waxing, (maiden), full (pregnant mother) and waning (old wise woman). The Virgin was the New Moon.

Muyiddin ibn al- ′Arabî (born 1165) wrote,

“To know woman is to know oneself,
Whoso knoweth his self, knoweth his Lord”

.. and,

“man′s supreme witnessing of Allâh
is in the form of the woman during
the act of sexual union ..”

In the Kabbalah, just below the first Sphere (sefirah) of divine emanation known as Keter(crown; summit; pinnacle), lie the two roots of masculine and feminine, known as Hokhmah andBinah.

Binah is the Kabbalistic feminine symbol for Understanding, a prelude to wisdom. “Binah, the Great Mother, sometimes also called Marah, the Great Sea, is, of course, the Mother of All Living. She is the archetypal womb through which life comes into manifestation.”

Fatima

Fatima (the daughter of the Prophet Muhammad) was considered to come from the level of angels. She is considered by many Muslims as divine in origin and several variations of a major hadith describe how she was conceived on the night of Mi′râj (ascension).

On this night Gabriel took Muhammad to Jerusalem and then to Heaven. While up in Heaven, he was offered some heavenly fruit, the seed of which was responsible for her conception, after the Prophet′s return on the same night and making love to his beloved wife Khadija.

Mohammad, in referring to Fatima as “The Mother of her Father”, understood that his gnosis was bestowed upon him from the Divine Feminine. Fatima’s own words,

“There is no God beside me, neither in divinity nor humanity, neither in the Heavens nor on earth, outside of me, who am Fatima – Creator.”

and what would all of this mean to a Rule whose sole purpose was the control and manipulation of all of its people through the establishment of a Patriarchal “God” — of course, you’d have to be born of original sin.

Isis and the Throne

Isis is the Greek form of more ancient names (Aset or Eset), and the name Isis is represented in hieroglyphics with a picture of a “throne”.

The throne represented the Feminine power of the Goddess, and the King when he ascends the throne, is actually drawing power from the throne upon which he sits.

The Wedding

To the pre-Christian Irish, water was the source of all life. Eire, after whom the country was named, was the superior Goddess of water and fertility, the island of Ireland being the body of the goddess. The Irish language has no word for the coronation of a king. This is because Irish kings were not crowned; they were married to the goddess in a ceremony called An Bainais – the wedding.

Therefore, we see the Divine Feminine, as the Source of Life, being expressed first by the means that humans may understand the Divine Feminine, in other words, Wisdom, being a feminine word, second, by the most holy names which express in a universal way (spanning cultures as varied as Egyptian, Hittitie and Celtic) that the Source of Life is the Divine Feminine.

Rumi again writes ..

“On Resurrection Day, the sun and moon are released from service:
and the eye beholds the Source of their radiance,
then it discerns the permanent possession from the loan,
and this passing caravan from the abiding home.
If for a while a wet nurse is needed,
Mother, return us to your breast.
I don′t want a nurse; my Mother is more fair.
I am like Moses whose nurse and Mother were the same.

Tantra

The basic tenet of Tantrism is that matter, and therefore the body, is also a manifestation of Sakti power, that is, the power emanating from the feminine aspect of Divine Reality. In the domain of the spiritual life, the same term Sakti signifies the devi that allows one to enter into contact with Enlightenment.

She is both the key and the mystery;
who can be decoded only through Muladhara …

The child is Brahma; the Goddess is Dakini

Muladhara bears the Sanskrit letters va, scha, sha, and sa and the seed sound in the centre is lam

I am … the mother of my father and the daughter of my son

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