But at the end of the day,
It doesn’t f-cking matter either way.
They came into your life for a reason.
This you can be sure
How long someone hangs with you baby,
Well that is upto your spiritual contract with them.
What do I mean by that?
What kind of crazy new age concept is a spiritual contract anyway?
In this instance I am referring to the lessons you gain from the relationship. And EVERY relationship teaches us something.
Its important to realize that we are in relationship WITH EVERYTHING and EVERYONE in our lives too.
So get right with that RIGHT NOW gorgeous.
Those short meetups, hook ups, chatting and getting no where with people that pop through your life and wonder WTF was that about?
Was there to present some lesson or deeper understanding into your life,
Into who you are,
And how you are VIBING.
And when they leave.
You can say it doesn’t matter anyway.
And it doesn’t!
As long as you got from them what you were meant to.
Were you present enough in that relationship,
No matter how short lived it was or not,
No matter the drama,
Did you get your lesson beautiful?
Cuz if you chose to get caught up in the ego of what happened,
and you missed the lesson,
You are going to have to rinse and repeat.
And that’s why you run into the same people over and over again just with a different face,
And when you get caught up in the ego of the loss,
You loose something much more significant and valuable then that relationship.
You loose a piece of you.
When you sit a stare at the people who are unliking or unfollowing you on social media,
When you pay more attention to who is not paying attention to you,
When you wait for the lack of response from that person you went out on a date with,
Or hooked up with,
When you get caught up in the certainly that so and so will apologize or come back,
When you wait….
You loose yourself.
And at the end of your days beautiful,
It doesn’t f-cking matter anyway.
Thier shut down.
None of it matters.
And you deserve so much better.
But here is the thing,
YOU have to allow yourself to have better.
YOU have to stop making yourself available for that shiz.
YOU have to stop resisting your beauty,
And you have to get THAT lesson.
The best is yet to come.
You just have to change what your looking for.
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.
I want you to close your eye’s and imagine yourself not wanting for anything.
Imagine yourself not stressing or worrying about anything that you may currently be focused on in your life.
Can you do that?
Many people have a tough time with this simple exercise.
Many people when I ask them to calm their fears and their thoughts around what they do not have look at me as though I have three heads and state,
” I can’t do that, it must be nice though for those who can.”
Is this what you are feeling at my request as well beautiful?
Or are you among the not so average and ordinary who understand and practice the calming of your hyperactive mind and fears?
If you are like the first option then this message is certainly for you. If you are the latter well this message is still for you and it will serve you well to get some extra reinforcement and confidence in your power.
Earlier today my thirteen year old son Levi came to me sharing his desire to learn meditation as he believes after much research and reading that it is the key to him being able to manifest the things that he wants quicker then what he has been doing and that it will also open him up to divine insight. He told me that it scares him to death to think about doing it because he does not know what he is capable of or what messages from soul will come through to him but he is committed to taking on this practice and exploring it.
How beautiful is that authentic truth share he offered to me today as well as the courage and commitment that he is showing to manifest his desires?
And he is thirteen!
I share this because I want you to know that his simplistic understanding and belief is all any of us ever need.
He is more then accurate in what he is believing around meditation and if he chooses as he states to apply himself with focus to the practice then he will reap rewards that he is not even aware of.
People ask me all the time what I do in a coaching session with someone? What they could expect for results in working with me.
The truth is the results depend on the person not on me.
My role in the scenario is to guide and to share what I KNOW works with application and commitment. How coachable someone is has nothing to with me.
One of the main things that I work with people on is the above. Helping them to realize how powerful their thoughts are and how those thoughts translate to feelings and actions.
You see, often what we do out of comfort in habit and false belief is the VERY THING that HOLDS US BACK from our success in having the life that we want.
If you feel unsettled around getting out of your comfort zone.
If you feel nervous about committing to something that is calling to you at a SOUL or CORE level.
If you get excited but then quickly move yourself into doubt about your abilities, worth, etc to make it happen.
If you find yourself with a million and one great reasons (a.k.a. excuses) as to why you cannot do it at this time.
Then beautiful it is time for you to GET REAL with yourself!
You are scared of your own success.
You are fearing your power.
You are fearing how amazing you really are.
You are terrified at what you can create.
And somewhere inside of you,
YOU KNOW that you can have it all.
But the fear of loosing it,
the fear of stepping up to the plate and owning that life that you want is trapping you.
And you are settling for comfort.
Settling for excuses and reasons.
And you because you are ALLOWING this way of living and being you will continue to have what you have.
It all starts with you finding your happy place.
It all starts with you being able to laugh at yourself and show yourself some compassion.
It all starts with you being able to make friends with yourself.
To find the stillness within and let it wrap its peace and flow around you.
STRUGGLE will prevail.
So what do you say beautiful?
Are you ready to claim your life?
I sure AF hope so.
But its starts with YOU GETTING OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE and tapping into your mystery.
Let Go and Let Flow Baby!
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
TRAUMA GREW MY ROSE GARDEN AND GRATITUDE WATERS IT.
Today is a really interesting day for me.
It marks my one year of one of the most traumatic events I have had happen in a relationship so far. It also marks my one year of a massive transformation period, new growth and opportunity blended with trauma and needed healing.
Today I sit here at Starbucks after dropping my youngest son off to his father ( the man I fell out of relationship a year ago today).
It was brutal to drop him off today.
My heart actually still hurts from this mornings exchange.
Our son age four, ran to the back seat of my car as we pulled into daddy’s driveway and he screamed, “I don’t want to go to daddy’s house.” he got so frustrated, clung to the rear seat with all the force his little body could muster and screamed, “No Mommy.”
I grabbed him up, hugged him. Told him that I loved him and that I would see him later today and then he would be back at mommy’s house on Wednesday. He clung to my neck and fought profusely to hold on to me as his father took him out of my arms.
I never wanted any of this for my baby.
I don’t believe that any of us parents ever want this sort of emotional pain on our children. I don’t believe that my ex desires this trauma to come up on our son either.
And yet it still falls here.
Today, I find myself sitting here upset at my son’s pain.
Wishing I could do more for him.
Wishing that us adults who have brought this on him could have communicated better about what we wanted from each other and how we wanted out of our relationship before it came to violence as it did and a nasty, terrorizing breakup that will last a life time for our children emotionally not to mention the physical repercussions that are still being dealt with for myself.
I sit here still wondering how I could not have realized more so as to where my ex was at.
Wondering why he had to act out in violence and rage the way he did one year ago today.
Why it was so important for him to push me and all the children away with such extreme measures.
Why could he just not simply say that he wanted out and we move onto separate paths in peace and harmony, working together for the greatest good of all the children and each other.
I knew he was unhappy in our relationship.
I knew he wanted out.
He did not even desire to want to spend 30 minutes a week with me alone even though this had become a consistent request and desire of mine. He could not stomach to sit by me and watch TV, he wanted nothing to do with cuddling or sex that was two sided, only wanted to get off and be done. Would roll away in disgust after pushing me away like trash after he had reached climax.
He became rageful with friends and emotionally and physically aggressive toward his step-children. He was hateful and I told myself that he was stressed about work, money, health, anything but the truth was what I proclaimed.
The signs were there.
They were in front of my blind eyes and desire to make it all work for us.
The more committed I became to our relationship and requested time and connection,
the more he pushed away in anger.
a year later I see the truth.
I see his pattern that he had to enforce.
I see the pain that he must be in.
And I am grateful that even though that was a brutal time and experience,
even though there is still much healing that needs done for self and children.
I am grateful that I never lost who I was,
I never lost love,
I never lost my family or friends,
and I can do the healing and I understand at a deep level the power of emotions,
the importance of knowing self and NOT hiding from myself and feelings.
I am grateful that I was given a powerful opportunity last year to stand up and be 100% me.
The last year has offered me so many blessings that would have never come about had he not caved to his patterns and needs to push love away, to push so hard that he was the one to be abandoned in the experience by everyone. To repeat the trauma from his youth. And to create an experience that supported his belief that the feminine always leaves him.
I see now how he had to push that hard.
I am too stubborn to leave when I still love.
I believed it could be fixed,
I believed that he was not lying when he said that he loved me more than anyone else.
I strangely believed in us and in him.
today I stand in gratitude for the 7 years of learning,
of experience and growth,
for the birth of my two youngest angels that i would not trade for anything.
Today I stand here in gratitude for his push.
Busted up body and everything,
it was worth it.
Because I found my true strength.
I found my heart.
And tapped into allowing myself, to be me without needing another.
There is great beauty in the darkest of clouds if you allow yourself to see it and you allow time to step you back far enough to see the whole sky and it’s beauty.
Life is one BIG TRUST EXERCISE.
I am reminded of the trust and faith that I had to muster up at one of my lowest, scariest points in life so far.
Today, I choose to focus on that reminder.
To focus on the gratitude and the opportunities that have come from this event, like any event in our lives.
Today I choose to look at my blessed life.
The steady massive love that I experience from family, friends and the wonderful man I have in my life currently.
The AMAZING tribe that I have developed and all the growth that I am seeing in my business and life.
The wealth of connection, joy and the laughter that resides in my home daily that was not there a year ago or before.
My creativity at an all time high.
The beauty and bounty that is in each step on this journey.
Today I want to say THANK YOU to the man that tossed me to the side last year, who tried to destroy me and all that we had built together.
From that rubble grew a rose garden.
MY ROSE GARDEN.
Thank you for my pain.
Thank you for my suffering.
Thank you for the trauma.
Thank you for the goodbye.
I am so effing happy with my life TODAY!
My question to you that I share this with today is,
what are you doing with your trauma, drama and pain? Does it hold you back or build you up?
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.
This Is What Men Have Taught Me About Money, Abundance, Goals and Happiness.
Years ago, I was married.
I was married at age 18.
I had five children.
Struggled, lost homes, was burred under debt, my health suffered, my marriage suffered, my sex was nothing but duty. I hated my life! I was focused on the NOT having and I was buying into the concept of this is just how it was. This was normal and I had to just suck it up.
My husband then was in financial services, he worked for Primerica which was part of Travelers Group, originally Art Williams created the company back in the 1970’s and it was known as A.L. Williams Life Insurance Group. It was about term insurance and investments.
I met my husband in the company as I was working on my licenses to become a representative to sell for them and was interested in the structure of the system.
Well, fast forward past all that and the wedding and the child birth stuff and you found us BROKE. Chasing our dreams of becoming financially free. Our goal back then was to become Vice Presidents of the company and make a six figure income. Get the ring to show how great we were and the rewards of trips and such.
And so we listened to ALL the motivational stuff.
We went to the seminars.
We made the cold calls and followed the sales scripts.
We worked, worked , worked.
And occasionally made some sales.
Some would charge back, which put us in debt with the company and had to be taken out of future commissions.
some would stick.
For years we chased the DREAM.
For years we struggled.
We comforted ourselves with the concept that we were building a beautiful tale of overcoming the feats and obstacles but in the end succeeded.
We imagined walking on the stage and telling the story.
And we struggled.
Living on what averaged out to be $17,000 a year.
Raising children, scrimping buy.
Food Stamps, Evictions, State insurance, borrowing whatever we could from family to make ends meet and even sleeping on families couches when things got REALLY bad.
But we kept chasing that dream.
Until one day, I could not chase it anymore.
I was burned out. I hated my life.
I wanted it all to end.
And I spent the next two years of my life in the middle of deep dark depression, that still today I wonder how I made it through alive. I acted out, I drank too much alcohol. We fought like wild raging animals.
It was toxic.
It was unhealthy for everyone.
And it had to come to an end.
I decided I was done.
I decided that I wanted a divorce.
I decided that we had too much water under our bridge.
And I chose to burn the bridge.
I decided that if it was up to me, it was going to be my freedom, my way, my flow, my self-discovery, my healing.
And so it was.
I had to let go of all the old ways though.
And I did, for the most part.
I dug in and started to do the inner work.
I decided that I was the most important person in the room.
In my life.
That if I wanted to be an AMAZING mom, I needed to feed my SOUL.
I reinvented myself.
So I started my practice,
it was nothing like it is today,
but it was my foundation grounds.
My learning grounds.
My healing grounds.
And with my practice came a desire to date and explore the masculine because I had never done that before.
I only had explored three men intimately up to this point and I knew I had a bunch of shame, guilt, self-image and fear wrapped around this area of life.
I was not overly caught up on dating.
It was just a desire that I had and if it came along,
then it came along.
I created some doorways for opportunities to happen and I did not really apply my focus there too much. I just knew what I wanted and let it be.
Something about dating and men felt easy to me.
Even with my fear.
I had a fascination, a curiosity that overcame the fear.
Men and dating felt playful to me.
It was a game,
new ground to explore.
My ONLY expectation was to enjoy it and learn.
And so I decided in that moment that I would NEVER chase men. There was no need. Because I wanted it to just be FUN.
And so it was.
As with men, I quickly discovered that money, abundance, goals and happiness were no different.
If I chased them.
They ran from me.
If I turned them into a fun game,
an adventure and let my curiosity run free,
then they flowed.
My advice to you today BABY is simple.
Stop chasing everything!
Wonder why it is running from you?
Well it’s not rocket science BABY.
It is running from you because you are chasing it.
I know that you have been told to chase your dreams.
I know that you have been told to make your goals happen.
I know that you have heard that there is no gain without the pain.
Yeah I understand.
I lived that way for so many years.
I still have those nasty lies pop up in my mind today and try and take me down.
Try and steal my joy.
But today I see them for the wolves they are.
And I know what to do to get back into my FLOW.
That is the power of doing the inner work.
That is the purpose of having a mentor.
That is why we who crave the f-ck yes lifestyle that is so much more than money,
its all about FREEDOM and HAPPINESS.
It’s about SOUL.
Yes we know the power of saying YES to ourselves and taking the ACTION to do the things that must be done.
Those things are internal 80% of the time.
Those things are the things that we AVOID.
We hide from.
But as long as you keep choosing to chase your dreams the old fashioned way, you will remain the predator to that, that you so desire and it will keep running from you.
Sure you can succeed this way.
You can keep chasing.
You can capture your dreams and goals and MAKE THEM HAPPEN.
But at what cost?
How much of YOU will be left?
And will you be truly happy, fulfilled and healthy?
There is an easier way BABY.
It’s called Ease and Flow.
It’s called SOUL Guidance.
But first you must learn to listen.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
It’s my specialty beautiful!
It’s my purpose work.
My calling and my passion.
When I chose all those years ago to step into who I was and step into my ease and flow,
I chose to live a life of service and help YOU find your ease and flow.
But to do that you have to want it.
You have to be ready to get ready to RECEIVE it.
And that mean creating doorways for it to come through and releasing you from the predatory chains of your current beliefs and habits.
You can keep doing what you are doing.
Or you can grab a consult with me and make a different choice.
You can reinvent YOURSELF.
Which is actually just unveiling YOURSELF.
Claim Your Life Today.
Am I vibing with you?
I sure hope I am.
Or maybe I hope I am not.
It really depends on where you are vibing at.And I say this, because we often do not pay attention to our vibe, let alone other people’s vibe.
But I can tell you this. VIBE is where it is at baby!
If you want to have that F-ck Yes Life, If you want to call in THE ONE, If you want to have blessings wash all over you, then you better be vibing in the same frequency as them. The things we desire the most are often high hanging fruit, and this high hanging fruit will not come down to us.
And if it does…..
Then it has lowered its VIBE.And you most likely won’t want it so much anymore.
This happens in relationship all the time.
We humans have the power to increase or decrease our vibe in no time flat.
It all stems from the thoughts we are thinking, the emotions we are feeling, and thus the actions we are taking.
High vibing people, you know the one’s…
You may even be one of the one’s.
And I hope that you are luv.But either way, you may want to know how to determine if someone is high vibe or low vibe.
High Vibe peep’s are radiant,
they are turned on to life,
they are self-motivated,
they do not mask life or the experiences that life offers them.
They are not living in a victim mentality.
They are proactive.
They love forward movement,
They value alone time.
They know that more is always possible.
They see the interconnectedness of things.
They are grateful.
They are grounded.
They bounce out of negative thinking quickly.
They smile – A LOT!
They are easy to be around.
They have healthy, strong boundaries.
They don’t give a sh*t what you think of them.
They are abundant.
Blessings flow to them with ease.
They are not needy, but they do desire much.
They are in integrity with self.
High VIBE is where it is at baby!
Living a high VIBE life is what you were born to do.
It is where you will discover everything that you want the most.
And you can get there.This you can.
But you are not going to get there, if you are still trying to get your needs met by everyone else who is low vibing it.
You won’t get there if you are caught in worry, or anxiety and fear.
You won’t get there if you are giving to many f-cks about everyone else’s opinions and judgements.
You won’t get there if you insist on hanging with low vibing friends, family and lovers.
And this can cause some mighty BIG issues in life, the main one being that you MUST realize that many of the people you have in your life RIGHT NOW,
won’t follow you up in VIBE.
And you will loose these people in some fashion.
So that alone may stop you.
You may not want to loose this person, or that one.
You may say it’s not worth it.
You may think I am wrong and try and drag their sweet ass along.
And you can for a bit, although the dragging of dead weight will certainly drain you at some point,
and then you will either drop them, or surrender to creeping back down into lower vibe, where life was…..
Where you were not happy.
And you may say that it is worth it.
As long as you can keep these peep’s in your life, then it is worth it to be low VIBE.
And that is fine.
That is your choice.
And you will make this choice many, many multiple times throughout your life.
Just know though, that if you want to have that F-ck Yes! Lifestyle, you want abundance, deep love, and happiness.
That you will have to make changes in whom you choose to hang around.
Because the saying is so true,
“You become like those you hang around.”
So if you look at your top five people in your life, how are they VIBING?
And if we look just at the income of these five…how abundant are they?
You want to know where you are headed in the next 12 months.You will be about 50-70% of the median of these five in total.
Is that satisfactory to you?Then great.
Time to change your VIBE TRIBE.
We all have to level up our relationships as we grow, some come back around as they grow with us in vibe, some we revisit and feel the constriction in our bodies.
While others are lost forever.
And still others Climb beside us.
What does your VIBE TRIBE say about you?
As always, Stop Existing & Start Living
If you are ready to make the leap then reach out to me today. I am running a Christmas special where you get 2-months of coaching for FREE. Check it out and use the SANTAGIFT code in the why you want to work with me HERE