Call It A Blond Dementia Moment.

Blond Moments.

 
LOL… I have these so often.
It truly is not funny.
 
Okay, so it is pretty effing funny.
I laugh at myself ALL the time.
 
Today I was out to lunch with a friend who is part of my KW Team. I was sharing with her my appreciation for her support and friendship and simply all she does for me.
 
And then I had to share this little diddy with her about my blond moment at 6AM yesterday.
 
So if you did not know, I am a horrible control freak.
I really have a tough time delegating in my business.
I have for years done it all myself and built almost everything BUT the info structure and SEO of my website by myself.
I have had help along the way for technical things, but quickly took it upon myself to learn what was happening and then booted my helper and did it myself.
 
Why?
Well, I could feed you some bullshit line here and say that I could not afford the help or we had some disagreement and just needed to split.
 
But like I said, that would be a bullshit line.
 
The truth was, I dumped the help because I felt like it made me weak to ask or need help.
It made me feel like someone else was in control of my life instead of me.
And I simply DID NOT TRUST.
 
I did not trust that they would do what I needed or wanted.
I did not trust that I could release my stuff to them.
I did not trust that God would provide me with the means to pay them.
 

And the BIG one:

 
I did not trust that I was worthy enough to have help.
 
Anyway, this has been a long running battle for me.
Anyone, close to me and is reading this right now is shaking their head YES.
 
Well, a few weeks ago I committed to take myself to the next level of coaching and grow my business. Which means that I would have to grow and learn how to expand myself more.
 
 
And one of the first things I am being faced with is that I am DOING TOO MUCH.
 
I am trying to CONTROL IT ALL.
And I need to just LET GO.
 
LOL…
You would think I would know that.
 
And I do.
But here is my shit.
 
My shit is that one of my tweaks to go to the next level is to delegate and ASK FOR HELP.
 
Ask for what I need.
And then ALLOW myself to RECEIVE it.
 
Okay so fast forward to 6AM today….
 
I am jumping on Facebook to do my daily 6-AM Conscious Coffee LIVE and I decided after three sips of coffee with one eye open that I was going to take the first minute to share my LIVE from my business page to my personal profile where I have over 4k friends and followers. I was thinking it would touch more people and would make a bigger impact.
 
GREAT IDEA.
 
So I do it. I go LIVE, I make the announcement that I am sharing this and doing a quick tech thing and then I get into my talk.
 
I go through a few moments of sharing on the topic- But You Said You Wanted It.
 
When I have a TOTAL Blond Moment.
 
And to make matters worse from just being blond, I freak myself out internally like the zombie apocalypse is happening…
 
Mid sentence, I am sharing a point and think to myself,
” I need to share the Feel Good Now Course” under this live.
 
Like magic, the course pops up under my LIVE.
And that is not the magical part,
It was shared by ME.
 
Except, I DID NOT share it.
 
So, I was like, “W-O-W! That was cool. and Thank you God.”
 

But that wow moment quickly crept into, “WTF! How did that happen and who hacked my account?”

 
Total Blond…
My friend I was having lunch with today, I had given permission to edit and admin my coaching page to.
 
I had asked for her help to run things and support me.
I had asked her to join my team and do just what she was doing.
 
Supporting me on a LIVE.
 
Yeppers, This crazy blond here, forgot she asked for her needs.
And freaked the f*ck out from getting what she was asking for.
 
I guess that could be called a Blond Dementia Moment?
 
IDK.
 
Anyway, moral of my tale this afternoon…
 

Stop trying to control everything.

Let go of what you can, so you can BE-DO-HAVE more.

 
Open up and ASK for your NEEDS to be met.
Then DON’T forget to allow yourself to actually RECEIVE them.
 
Oh, and ALWAYS….
ALWAYS
Remember to Laugh.
 
Laugh at Life.
Laugh at Yourself.
Laugh at your Ego.
 
Find the Humor in your life and it will get easier,
and flow better.
 

And remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

 

Wanting, Willing & Taking – Understanding Desire

” A gift unopened is a gift not valued.”- KW

threesome

” There I lay with my legs spread wide open as I looked my lover in the eye’s. He was sweating, heated, passionate. Full of arousal and pleasure. His turn on was fulfilling at a deep level. With every thrust of his cock I could sense that this experience was beyond his anticipation and I was honored that I could gift him with it. As he thrusted himself into another’s woman pussy and she was devouring mine I could tell that the sheer act that I would be open to another woman going down on me and to make matters even more divine that she would be eating me out while he was having his way with her doggy style and getting to watch her enjoying me was by far the best Christmas present I could have come up with.

As she gasped for air and moaned from her pleasure and turn on he too became more aroused and leaned deeper into his own pleasure. From my vantage their joy and pleasure were beyond beauty. I found myself caught not in pleasure, not in rapture or orgasm of the physical realms but that of a deep emotional love for this man. In this moment I truly was not body present, if anything I was physically turned off from my own orgasm, but what I had discovered was a sexual giving that could not be touched and a beauty and appreciation for this world and our sex that I did not understand prior.

The adventure moved forward and before long I found myself in a 69 position with this woman and my partner now taking turns fucking her pussy up close and personal not more that a few inches away from eyes and face and then occasionally pulling out of her and thrusting deep into my mouth. Every time he switched from pussy to mouth or vise versa I could see the pulsing energy of his cock expand and he wanted so badly to take all that he could out of this moment. Once again I found myself hearing her moans, feeling her body on top of mine, her breathing changing and her body quivering, her pussy dripping with juices and wanting more but I could not feel her tongue, her lips and fingers as they danced along my vulva and found themselves in me. No, once again I was not able to truly drop down into my body and feel what was happening. But I could feel the high orgasmic energy of my partner and of our playmate. In this instance I found a new arousal yet again, it was a sort of mystery and joy combined in some sexual dance as I watched his cock and balls penetrate and slap up against her and then felt him not just quiver but literally vibrate as he penetrated my mouth. Holding his very hard cock deep in my throat, just past that tight spot I could get little gasps of air as he pulsed and moaned. This, this made me aroused. This activated me some.

Before long I was now on my back, our playmate sitting back sharing how great her view was. My pussy wide open before her and my partner now between my legs now taking me fully while she watched and masturbated to our live lovemaking scene. I could hear her moan, I could smell her in the room. His groans and growls with his ever deepening penetration was a turn on but once again, it was a mental and emotional turn on, it was a deeply intimate affair that made my heart leap with joy but my orgasm was no where to be found physically.”

This was a small take away from my first ever threesome with another woman. I had decided that I was going to gift my partner with something that he had always desired. A fantasy of his and I was over joyed that the whole experience was so beautiful. I still hold so much gratitude to the woman that we chose to share this moment with and who helped to deepen our intimacy as a couple. I wanted to gift the man I love with something I knew he had never been given and I was ecstatic that I was a woman who was willing to play in territories that were not always comfortable or about myself. I had not always been this way, my self-doubt, guilt, shame and concepts of giving and receiving had changed tremendously through the years and still do from time to time as I learn about myself and my own needs and desires. However I can say that the ability to share oneself without a need to receive is something that I cherish in myself. I also cherish the fact that I am extremely comfortable stating my boundaries and desires as well as needs in these areas.

As much as I love to give without receiving I also am not afraid to ask for what I desire. I have learned that giving of this nature can only happen when I myself am in a state of fullness and even better if my cup runneth over with orgasmic bliss already, as in these times are when I am not only willing to give and excited about it, but I want to give freely. In such moments I find my orgasm in others. I feel it when they express their joy, their pleasure. I feel my turn on not in the physical but in my heart and I experience a deeper layer of orgasmic living through this. These moments to me are very unsexual. They are playful education that help me remain in a state of acceptance, appreciation and openness.

This is where one’s willingness and wanting come together in a perfect dance to share love with someone in a special format that is not often understood by any of the parties in the moment it is happening. This is sharing of the unconditional sort.

Willingness Vs. Wanting

We all think that we understand the difference of these two. It seem’s pretty simple. Does it not?

“I am willing to help you move this weekend even though I actually want to just crash and veg on the couch because I am exhausted from the week.”

“I want to go to see Doctor Strange but am willing to see Moana instead.”

These are simple things to see the act of willingness with. The act of giving to another and not doing exactly what we want in the moment so that another can have pleasure with us, or through us  or accomplish something that they might need or want to but would like our help with. This does not make the person receiving self-centered. It does allow them to be selfish though and selfishness is not a bad thing as long as we are willing to be grateful for it, give back when possible and do not ever put another into a situation of harm or trauma.

When we are self-centered we tend to not be concerned about others. In these times we express our desires for what we feel are our needs or wants and we do not stop to think about the cost to others, nor do we care. When we are self-centered we are like a bull in a friends china shop and we disregard everything but what we are focused on. We also typically do not allow for space to occur for someone else to make a decision of how they feel or if they want, are willing or otherwise around whatever we are pushing for.

Let me share a brief story to help clarify self-centeredness in sexing:

A few years back I worked with a couple and the main spiff they had was around anal sex. The man loved anal sex and the woman occasionally liked it but most of the time was not interested as it was not her major turn on and she had even been hurt during it a few times. The husband could not understand why his wife would not always enjoy this practice so he thought that if he insisted on doing it more consistently and “assured her” that she liked it during the process that she would get a clue and start to enjoy it as much as he did.

When I spoke to the husband he always shared his concern that she was not understanding how great this act was or her own pleasure. He was convinced that her complaints were false and that for some reason she was just trying to take away his pleasure. When I spoke with the wife she shared that it hurt horribly and his aggressive nature, lack of asking her if she was wanting or even willing to play like this caused her a lot of stress. She was ready to pull the plug on the marriage if it continued. And she did in the end. The husband was shocked that she would divorce him for asking for what he wanted and it being such a small matter at that.

This couple shares a true tale of one partner being self-centered and ONLY concerned about his own pleasure and gratification. To the point of insisting that his wife did not understand what was happening with her own body and emotions.

That is not selflishness though!

Selfishness is another animal all together. We miss use the word all the time and therefore tend to wrap guilt and shame around something that is actually needed and we should have more of.
Yes I just said that you and I alike NEED to be selfish more!

Selfishness is when we ask for what we need. Selfishness does not mean that we will always get what we are asking for or that we should, it simply says that we know that we need something and that we know that we need to take care of ourselves. If we need another to help us fulfill this then we need to ask for it but if we can achieve it without another or can look elsewhere then often it is more than okay to do this as long as we remain in openness and integrity.

An example of being selfish would be:

After I had my seventh child I was having a really tough time gaining feeling back in my vaginal walls. It took me almost twice as long as previous postpartums. That did not stop my libido though, but the over tiredness and toddler who slept between my partner and myself plus the newborn did not make for the best of grounds for getting back in the saddle. On top of it when my partner and I had sex I could hardly feel him and could not orgasm. This all started doing a mind fuck on me and I found myself not interested in sex with my partner the way that I wanted to be. I knew that I was depleted of orgasmic energy and all the good hormones that get released and help support our bodies emotionally, mentally and physically when we are full on orgasm. I knew that if I did not get this soon that I would sink into depression even further and my old programs would have a better grip on me than normal. I knew that if I did not take care of myself and frequently that I would loose so much of myself and not be able to give to the world any more. So I took matters into my own hands and got SELFISH!!!!

I masturbated every morning. Being in an open relationship also allowed me to ask for more sex with not just my one partner but to pull in my other partner as well and start working my orgasm out in anyway possible. I asked my partners to go down on me, I asked to use toys, I even created some hot scenes that were playful and shared them and said that I wanted to try them. From someone looking in they may have said, ” This woman is a sex addict, she needs help, she is not thinking about anyone but herself.” They would have been right about one thing, I needed help, I needed to help myself and be selfish and I needed support from those who loved me.

Wanting, willing and taking. When we fully understand the differences we should be able to see the positive and negative that they all carry with them, just like anything in life.

Sometimes our wanting is so strong that it makes us forget about others. Other times our wanting is an act of sharing or a desire that we hope will be granted or at least heard in love and acceptance so that we can feel closer and more seen.

Our willingness is often based on one of three things:

*Love or care for another
*Guilt
*Compromise or control

The last two are based in fear and not even acts of selflessness, but acts of victim-hood and an inability to stand up for our own needs and boundaries. The first is based in love and often is unconditional and if it is conditional we are quick to set our terms.

When we speak of taking, it sounds so mean. Like we are stealing something or causing harm to another by taking. This is only sometimes true. Once again look at the motive behind the act. Look at the act itself. And most importantly realize that in any healthy relationship that one can ONLY take what is offered otherwise it is not a healthy relationship to start with. If you are taking without  being offered then you need to examine your actions and realize that you are causing trauma. If you take something that is being offered  authentically with no ill emotional back lash (i.e. guilt) then you are honoring your relationship and the gift bestowed upon you.

We take forcefully and we also take what we are being gifted. Ask yourself which it is and then choose wisely.

Honor those you love through the  act of unconditional sharing and through the art of receiving. Remember that the gifts given that are unconditional are often the most beautiful.

—KW
*Image from Samarel Liquid Erotica

Transformation Indeed! – Testimony from an Orgasm Coaching for Women Client

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6 months have passed…

Every part of my mind, body and soul are being awakened and guided to new places that I thought were reserved for only a few fortunate ones.

Kendal Williams wrapped her love and knowing around me one cold dark winter evening as I sat in a coffee shop across from her and poured out my tired and broken story. Through tears, I saw her gentle, knowing smile and heard TRUTH for the first time in my life.

Kendal has a style of coaching that is honest and direct, with constant support, through the lovely as well as the ugly. She listens, explains, shares, guides and directs with uncanny intuition and a wealth of resources.

The very next day, as promised, I received an email with a list of all we discussing, complete with easy-to-follow links for every article, person, website, and resource! My journey now includes work with her partner, Scott/Authentic Living as well as her daughter with Photography in Wonderland.

6 months have passed….and I am a new goddess
~who enjoys feeling and seeing my own body
~who asks for what I want
~who holds sensation without disconnection
~who can breathe energy into any part of my being
~who is learning to love without boundaries
~who loves self first
~who is expanding sexuality
~ who is committed to this work of transforming

I have open mind, body & soul for the next steps in my life journey with Kendal & Company as my guide.

— Laura N. Dallas, Texas (Orgasm Coaching for Women Client 2015)

Is Your Avoidance Getting You What You Want? (Every Woman Needs to Read This)

After being in a nine-year committed relationship with someone who was painfully avoidant I have learned to spot the patterns of avoidance in my clients and the couples with whom I work with a keen eye. I see it come up even in the people who apply to my programs or reach out to me in the ways they do not show up for calls or respond when I take their application seriously and they may have had something else come up. I prefer the direct approach. Just tell me “no.” I have great respect for women who can stand firmly in their knowing and in their “no.” But usually, people avoid saying “no” because they think it will hurt the other person.

Avoidant people almost always manage to partner with someone who is the opposite of avoidant. Avoidance will generally mean that you will not get your needs met or feel seen and heard in a relationship, because it ultimately will require others to read your mind or figure out what is going on without you telling them. That puts a lot of responsibility on others for you getting your needs met. And they might not see what you need them to see.This is a set-up for all involved.

People develop patterns of avoidance for a whole variety of reasons.

Avoidance comes from:

  1. Protection from abuse. An emotionally overbearing or violent parent/home situation that you need to protect yourself from.
  2. Insecurity. Deep insecurity that tells you if you make yourself really small, no one will notice you and you’ll skate under the radar (again, to “safety”).
  3. Communication ability. You didn’t learn communication skills that would have you learn how to ask for what you need and want in a healthy way.
  4. Unmet needs. Not getting your needs met and feeling you perpetually will not get them met; so you cease asking, which turns into avoiding asking because the “no” you got over and over was so painful.
  5. Gender role conditioning. Gender roles that teach men to dodge and not directly address feelings. Gender roles that teach women they should take care of everyone else and forsake their own needs.
  6. Role modeling. You were taught not to complain, “rock the boat,” or make demands; and at least one of your parents is also avoidant and modeled that behavior for you.

Typically, a truly avoidant person will have several of these. For instance, you could have a violent father and an avoidant mother and your needs rarely got met. “No” was a mantra in your family. Or you had traditional gender roles in your family and your mother was care-taker to everyone and didn’t get her needs met so you learned that too, and maybe she was also incredibly insecure; and you took on the same insecurity and need to care-take everyone else so that you could feel worthy of even having a seat at the table.

Avoidance in Adult Relationships

 

You learned your avoidance patterns in an honest way in a home life where you had unmet needs, felt unseen or uncared for, or were conditioned not to rock the boat. Is that serving you in your adult relationships? I think it’s rare that consistent avoidance is healthy.

Avoidance can be healthy as a survival technique. It helps you get out of harm’s way. As a way of being in adult relationships it will land you in unhealthy dynamics, with unmet needs and increasing resentment.

How Avoidance Shows Up

 

There are so many ways avoidance shows up in relationships. Here are some common ways it can show up in a romantic/sexual relationship and typical alternative behaviors:

  • Not setting boundaries and then passive-aggressively expressing them another way. (Or not at all, resulting in a build-up of frustration and resentment.)
  • Not wanting to have sex but being afraid to say it so you do things to sabotage sex rather than just to talk about it openly knowing your “yes” and your “no” will both be heard and respected.
  • Wanting sex but not asking for it directly, so you find indirect or passive-aggressive ways to get your sexual needs met.
  • Wanting a different kind of sex, stimulation, touch, or emotional presence from your partner without being able to ask for it, resulting in disappointment and frustration.
  • Not feeling like you can set limits or help direct the pace of sexual interactions, exploration, or terrain.
  • Not knowing how to break-up when you are ready so you sabotage the relationship in other ways or stay in it way too long.
  • Doing things you really are not into just to make your partner happy.
  • Keeping yourself, your needs, your wants and your demands small, if not invisible, which completely disempowers you in a relationship.

If you recognize these avoidant patterns in yourself, it’s time to change them. It is not a simple task because you probably have a life-long pattern to overcome. But it is absolutely possible. I’ve watched women transform how they show up in relationships by addressing their avoidance, people-pleasing, passive-aggression and inability to communicate. Should you answer the call to take up more space, make more demands, and know that you have that right, it will absolutely change your life and your relationships. You will be able to fulfill your own desires and find people who are with you in that fulfillment.Avoidance will never equal fulfillment.

Article By Amy JoGoddard

DOUBLE PENETRATION: A PATH TO ENLIGHTENMENT by Janet Kira Lessin

tantricloveWhen you experience, as I did, two or more of your male poly lovers simultaneous entering you in tantric oneness, you open your inner stargate, touch the face of  God and remember your source. As you embrace two or even three magic wands, the  lingams (as we call penises) with your most sensitive inner sensual shrines, you  feel ecstasy, get total personal and transpersonal recall. You drop concepts of  physics, science and religion and instead zoom, as your multidimensional self,  through space and time. You and the beloveds entering you merge with divinity,  source of all inchoate forms. Home, you experience everything everyone told you  as illusion and, at the same time, truth.

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I had my double penetration satori the third night at a month-long love-in Sasha  and I hosted for nine lovers (five women and four men) on Maui. We’d filled half  our spacious living room with colorfully-covered mattresses. Two of the women  were new to us, but we’d vetted them carefully and knew we’d go deep with them.

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Awkward at first, all nine of us eased into nude housekeeping and, by the third  evening, lovemaking.

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Up to that third evening together, I’d shared some tantric breath, fondling,  kissing and genital honoring with some, but I mostly made passionate love with  Sash. We nine morphed from one kamasutra-like sexual configuration to the next.

. As Sasha lay on his back, I lowered myself onto his wand. We held each other’s gaze, then tongue-kissed; our tongues stroked sacred erotic sectors in each  other’s mouths.

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As I opened my cave and took him inside, hugging his wand with my yoni (vagina),  I again got who Sash and I truly are: ancient lovers in modern form. I saw, in  the mirror, my tiny, porcelain-like body draped over his deeply tanned athletic  form.

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As we moved our pelvises in our eternal rhythm, Sash delicately tapped, then probed my rosebud (as we call the anal opening) with his finger, preparing me  for delights to come. My amrita (female ejaculate) flowed and we sang out in  the rising momentum of our lovemaking.

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Then new hands, not Sasha’s, reverently caressed my bottom. I turned and saw  Woody–our beautiful slender, blond, long-time lover ask me with his eyes to  join us. “Yes, please,” I invited.

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double-vaginal-penetration-1_1I leaned forward, breasts against Sasha’s chest. Woody, from behind me, eased  his wand to where Sasha and I joined genitals. I opened  my amrita-lubricated  yoni to let Woody’s wand snuggle in, a millimeter at a time, next to Sasha’s  Both lingams fully inside, I squeezed my pc muscles on them and they both  swelled within me. I felt the electricity of Woody’s and Sasha’s wands against each other as both gradually expanded deeper into me. I quivered as waves of  bliss radiated from my yoni where my guys’ penises pulsed. Waves of bliss  became a continuously pulse of pleasure for all three of us as Sasha and Woody’s penises reached my A- spot, the erogenous area next to my cervix. The  three of us lost our separate self-senses, experienced triadic consciousness.

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I’d heard that some sages achieve pure grace, but never believed I could while  alive. But here I was in continuous euphoric bliss, one unending Oneness.

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Allness engulfed not only Sash, Woody and me, but also the others on our giant  mattress. All nine of us shared this divine space and joined our sacred worship  of the magnificence of the Universe. I felt the cosmos open. Floor, walls,  ceiling, all physical things dissolved. We nine shed the time/space continuum  and stood in the stars. The void embraced us, absorbed us in the magnificence of creation and simultaneous stillness. Even the solar winds paused to hear the  divine prayer in the form of our loving congress. All that there is, was and  will be witnessed us as we reunited with Source. I was the orgasm, the  orgiastic energy, the divine spark that created us all.

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You too can use group synergy, tantric lovemaking, polyamorous merging and  multiple penetration to achieve the state of pure Sex Magick necessary to take  women to this divine state needed to heal the world. With the intention of pure  love and respect for life and all consciousness, we can shift the Morphogenic  Field and create higher love and light. Together we stop war, pollution,  overpopulation, disease and hunger. Our natural state is loving oneness.

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Multiple loving allows us to feel oneness and is instrumental in providing Earth  and all her peoples a civilized civilization that respects all life. Through  our love, we give every one of us the peace, love, dignity and grace we deserve.

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****.

Excerpt from Janet’s book: POLYAMORY, MANY LOVES: The Poly-Tantric Lifestyle

Tantra for Teenagers

I am no authority on teenagers…there are very few in my life. But I was one once, so certainly I have that under my belt. And as I sit on a plane to Greece, I am surrounded by groups of young people off on their two weeks of binge drinking and stranger shagging. Meanwhile I have my head in a tantra book. As I catch morsels of overheard conversations, I am tempted to turn to them and begin to preach the Gospel of Tantra! Don’t do it kids! Don’t separate your consciousness from your sexuality and begin to condition yourselves to a lifetime of sexual experiences in which you are not present!

But hey, most of us did at some point. Perhaps you have to fall in order to pick yourself up. It was only after three years of excessive drinking that I gave up alcohol once and for all and headed to India to find something else of life aged 18 (yes I gave up drinking once I became the legal age to drink!)

But what would it be like if, when those hormones firsts start pumping, someone came to talk to us about Tantra? What if, instead of the conflicting message of “sex is a biological method of reproduction” versus the Hollywood messages of “everyone has flawless bodies and is having a lot of great sex all the time”, we were given some sort of sharing about how sex is related to love, and that it can create very strong experiences. What if the word “sacred” were even mentioned in the same sentence as the word “sex”. What then?

And how about, as those surges of energy come through the young teenage body, someone explained sexual energy? Imagine that concept helping our youth to understand the overwhelming forces at play within, and perhaps even learning a few basic tools to help deal with all of that energy…a little breathwork to support them through moments of intense energy surge. Imagine if we were teaching our young people to understand their own sexual energy before they connect to the energy of another, and then when they do connect they know a little about energies playing together.

How about explaining polarity to children as suddenly they gain a sense of being different from the other sex. How about marking that shift, from child to young adult, with a rite of passage. Returning to nature, as our distant ancestors once did, with our peers and our elders, to find out what it is to become a man/woman. What if, instead of MTV icons of male- and female-ness, teenagers learned about age-old archtypes, and about masculine and feminine energies in nature and the universe. Perhaps we could teach them about our own unique make-up of energies, of masculine and feminine traits and tendencies…and how to be at ease with ourselves just as we are.

What if teenagers were shown how to respect the other sex? Taught how to honour qualities that they may not themselves embody. How to share the delights of our differences…not to try to steal something from the other, or to dominate or gain power over the other.

And how about if teenagers were shown sex beyond the pornographic hard, edgy, loveless sex? What if they were exposed to sensuous and loving union? What if they saw two human beings in real and deep connection, with open eyes seeing one another and open hearts feeling one another. What if they actually glimpsed what it looks like when lovers are seeing the divine in one another …

And how would it be to show our young people the connections between sexuality and nature…to show that sex is natural; that it mirrors the gushing rivers and burning fires; the animal instinct. That some beautiful energies can flow between two bodies, an experience of deep aliveness…what if we let them know that?

How useful would it be to understand a little of creating safe space? Of boundaries…ever-shifting yet hugely important. Of “yes’s” and “no’s” and even options such as “can we just stop and hold each other?” And imagine if young people were taught to find their inner truth, their inner knowing…and learn to trust that. So they are no longer susceptible to the suggestion of every Tom, Dick and Harry, but able instead to look within and find what is right for them in each fresh new moment. Imagine if someone showed them that!

Because then even the adults could relax a bit. Instead of trying desperately to shield their young from sexuality, working against a natural explosion of hormones, parents could rest a little knowing that their children were actually equipped to enter the world of sexuality with the empowerment they need to begin such an epic journey. Not only that, but they might actually have some of the  communication skills to discuss it with their parents. The right education would also create the open-minded atmosphere in which teenagers sexual experiences are not all secretive and hidden from fear of being caught.

Many people seek out tantra in their thirties and forties. But why wait? Imagine what a difference it could make if teenagers were initiated into Tantra. Then perhaps I’d be sat on a plane with a load of youthful beings off to seek connection to nature, learn to open their hearts and discover the joys of being a sexual and alive being.

Original Posting at Shashi Solluna

Sarah Pipalini laid by 10,000 Men!

Three nuns were driving down the road one afternoon. One was beautiful, young and new to the convent life. She enjoyed modern culture but knew that her life calling was one of service. She loved the Lord and wanted to do his work. The other was a middle aged woman, she had seen much suffering and many blessings manifest. She too devoted her life to service and the work of God. The oldest nun had been with the church for her entire life. She had been raised by the Sisters.  She was a woman who decided to dedicate her life to serving all other living beings, and to not be part of mainstream society but instead live her life in prayer and contemplation. 

 
The 3 Sisters were chatting away as they drove to their destination when without any warning were struck by a truck who had run a red light. The car spun around and hit a lamp post which centered itself in the middle of their car. Sadly these three blessed women now found themselves standing at the gates of heaven before St. Peter himself. Relieved that they had arrived and knowing that they were saved they greeted him with smiles and joy. St. Peter, said welcome Sisters. I have fantastic news for you. the Lord is so happy with all the service, unconditional love and sacrifice that you have made in your life that he has decided to let you go back and experience life again, however this time you may choose who you want to be. the nuns became excited at the thought.
 
St. Peter looked at the youngest sister and asked, “Sweet sister, whom would you like to incarnate as?”
 
“Britney Spears.” she replied.
 
Poof! She was now living  life as the pop star.
 
He then turned to the middle aged Sister, “And whom do you choose?”
 
 
Smiling St. Peter said of course, the sexiest woman ever. As you wish Sister and within a second she was was Marilyn.
 
He then turned to the wise eldest Sister and asked her the same question. Without hesitation she said, “Sarah Pipalini.”
St. Peter looked bewildered. He did not know who this was. He looked in his book but she was not there. then he decided to call on head of records. 
 
“I need you to find me Sarah Pipalini right away.”
 
Unfortunately, there was no record of her. He turned to the Sister and said that he was sorry. The old nun stuck her hand in her pocket, dug around some, and then pulled out a folded, very old and weathered paper clipping. Opening it carefully, she said, “No, no. You see right here, Sarah Pipalini.” St. Peter took the clipping and read it. 
Sweet Sister, this says, Sahara Pipeline Laid by 10,000 Men.”
 
This joke shares a depth of the sickness of humanity as well as the wisdom of the spirit. We wonder why so many young people in society become extremely promiscuous, or why when a couple divorces that one or both parties hunt for what appears like empty sex to extremes. We look into the eyes of our beloved on the day that  we are uniting in marriage and we speak our vows of love and unconditional support and then find ourselves years down the road desiring intimacy, passion, connection and the feeling of excitement that only comes to us when we make love for the first time with a new partner. This desire in many cases leads us to temptation, which in many traditional beliefs is evil. We have raised a society where desire is wrong. We have locked our sexuality up in the towers of our internal being where we do not dare share it or speak of it, because this would be looked down upon by the heavens. We  enforce many of our religious leaders to abstain for years or an entire lifetime, assuming that through this sacrifice they will be more elevated, closer to God and able to guide their sheep in the ways of the Lord. Should one fall prey to desire and become human again we practically burn them at the stake. We anger at their inability to not lust after our youth yet we torment them each day with our sexy tales of loss of control.
 
We live in a world where a person who has been intimate with more then 10 people is considered to be a whore, a tramp, a slut. Yet we secretly long for the experience ourselves. Jealousy speaks out as judgement. We gossip to our friends and neighbors about what others are doing and do not even stop to realize that our words are potentially more harmful then being penetrated by a rapist. We lounge in our judgments and then sneak inside the safety of our homes to catch up on the newest porn videos on the web. We tease and joke about sex, never seriously giving it the respect that it deserves, yet we tell our children that they need to be responsible and wait till they get married. We deliberately go out drinking in hopes of getting lucky, but discover one of two things: 1) we never find someone to hook up with and wonder what is wrong with us?  2) we hook up, get our orgasmic release and then see everything that is wrong with the person we are with. If we are men, we speak grandly about our sexual adventures, often making them out to be better and more then they really are. If we are women, we try to not speak to much of our desires or adventures, as to not be seen as a whore. If we have been intimate with more then what we feel society approves of we reduce the number as to fit in with our peers, not realizing that they have done the same.
 
“In our society sex is wounded by a deep-seated masochism, which finds distorted satisfaction in the suppression of desire. This masochism is a symptomatic and destructive form of surrender. Instead of giving in to our passions, allowing emotion to course through our bodies and psyches, and generously offering ourselves to intimacy, we surrender our joy in life to any authority we can find, and we find many authorities willing to condemn us for our longings and pleasures.”– Thomas Moore, The Soul of Sex
 
So according to traditional belief, desire is the root of this evil called sexuality.
Desire is to blame for all the wrong doing. The taking and the raping. Desire is the reason why we cheat on our lovers. Desire is the reason why we break our covenants. Desire is not to be followed, it is a force from Satan. Yet, if there is no desire, there is no happiness. Period. There is also not much else left in the world. No matter what age or gender you are, you cannot even move a finger without first having a desire. And desire is always in wanting to receive something.
Want to argue this fact with me?
You work because you have a desire for money, success, peace of mind, prosperity or a new back patio.
You eat because you have a desire to stay alive, or to experience the pleasure of eating something new or delicious.
You compete in sports to fulfill a desire to experience  the thrill and victory of achievement.
You go on holiday to fulfill the desire to relax and break up your routine or create a memorable experience.
You enter into romantic relationships because you desire to experience love.
You watch TV and go to the movies to fulfill your desire to be entertained and experience enjoyment.
You pray because you desire help or healing.
You go to church because you desire to be saved and to live in heaven.
And we engage in sex to fulfill our desire for sexual pleasure. And if we have experienced soulful sex, then we often engage in sex to manifest our dreams, connect at a soul level, to heal, and to communicate with God.
 
I believe that even a blind person could see clearly that desire is the key to happiness!
 
Its very simple, because God (the Light) is infinite, every kind of joy, happiness and blessing is contained within the Creator. The only thing required to activate all this happiness is DESIRE. When a desire is fulfilled, happiness is expressed in that moment.
 
Why do we condemn such beauty? Creativity, Happiness and Power? — Fear
 
And lack of spiritual understanding.
 
But if we listen and surrender to this fear and refuse to expand our knowledge, then we will end up with only a fraction of self-possession purchased at the cost of our very life’s bliss and purpose. We will in all actuality find ourselves living a life of desperation, with a scarcity mentality over-loaded with more worry and ultimately secretly desiring but still denying all of God’s beauty.
 
“Knowledge without transformation is not wisdom.” — Paulo Coelho, Brida
 
Sex is a direct connect to life. To God. Ancient Tantric or Taoist practices as well as those practiced in Egypt and other parts of the world knew of the true power of creation that ONLY stemmed from the union of lovers. At the heart of sex is bedded a most profound affirmation of life, providing us with reason for living, for being optimistic, and for having energetic passion. Sex keeps us connected to our deepest essence, and links us to our inception. It also gifts us with the ability to realize our full potential and touch spiritual enlightenment.
 
Through our many soul phases we advance in our understanding of this beautiful gift from the heavens. We learn to devour the moments of rapture and to open ourselves in total trust to our lovers yes, but even more so to ourselves. We dance in the joy of being truly seen, we stop setting up limitations of our inner sexual muses and nymphs and in turn open the gateways to pleasure. In a society where love is open and unconditional, sex is respected and the parties involved honor one another from a soul level first. They honor and have the wisdom to do this through subtle energy connections, then through the reverence and adornment of the physical, they know that sharing true love in their sexing means that they respect each other and themselves through permissions and boundary setting. They laugh at their humanness and welcome the inner child to come out and play. They understand that sexual union is an alchemical act and they cherish not abuse the power of it.
 
The great healing of our world and of humanity will gain great strides when men and women make the conscious decision to LIVE their earthly reality instead of their doctrines and ideals.
 
Will you bask in your sexing and manifest a future of happiness that the Creator will be proud of?
Or will you continue to succumb to societal illusions?

Patriot of the Soul: Looking at life through heaven’s eyes.

“When you are moving toward an objective, it is very important to pay attention to the road. It is the road that teaches us the best way to get there, and the road enriches us as we walk its length. You can compare it to a sexual relationship: the caresses of foreplay determine the intensity of the orgasm. Everyone knows that… And it is the same thing when you have an objective in your life. It will turn out to be better or worse depending on the route you choose to reach it and the way you negotiate the route.” – Petrus, The Pilgrimage by Paulo Coelho

When my children were very young I spent many a late morning or early afternoon, cuddled up with them watching a Disney or Dream-Works movie. Each movie, even in its grand Hollywood masking carried with it a tale of a soul who was looking for their path. At some point in the movie the main character would have to step off the safe and stable route that their families and friends had encouraged them to stay on and they had to venture out into the great unknown called: Life.

My top favorite movie to watch with my children was: Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron

The tale of a young stallion who through great pain, suffering, loss of family and true love discovers an unbreakable friendship, an elevation in love and the true courage of being a heroic Patriot of the Soul. For anyone who has watched this family movie from start to finish and allowed the soundtrack to dance its way through your heart, you know what I am referring to here.  The beautiful thing about this movie and many others that captivate us is that only through struggle, tribulations, tears and pain; only through risking everything can we ever fully have everything that we want and more.

 Joseph Campbell says it best, “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

Not so long ago I found myself lying in the arms of a man I love.  Every moment spent with him has been full of peace, unconditional love, acceptance and even in the times that I find myself breathing as to not allow my ego to jump hastily into our differences I still feel great intimacy and depth.  This particular afternoon however I was being torn up internally with fear. It had been weeks building, I had been taking notice of the smallest events, words shared, jokes, and above all else this pit in my stomach. I had made up my mind that for the greatest good of all parties (him and I) that we must part ways. I was fully prepared to tear my heart from my chest, to remove myself from the equation so that he could carry on and advance on his path. The fear of letting go of this bird so it could fly free though was horrifying!

We both found ourselves trapped in what seemed like a spot where God had abandoned us. The “higher powers that be” were laughing at our love, at our hearts that were breaking. Both fully aware that things were what they were but could soon very well change. The twists of the path we were walking on could cause a fork in the road. One that would force us to step down two separate trails. Being a man, as anyone who has read Grey’s book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus will understand, he was now acting in the role of Mr. Fix It. I was laying there taking in his scent, how his large hands felt as they cradled me, touched my cheek and how distant his heart beat felt in this position. I wanted to just blurt out everything that had been lying on my heart for the last month, but was scared that in revealing my true pain and not staying in this aloof state that was calm and collected would only cause him more suffering. And god how I did not want to be any more vulnerable then I was already feeling.

Sniffles cleared the silence of the moment, he was weeping. He was living the loss of us in this very moment.  Tears came to my eyes, grabbing hold of his arm and his hands as I encouraged him to hold me tighter.  I could feel that another Circumcising of the Heart was taking place for both of us.

“Often the love that means the most and is the truest will cause the most pain as well,” kept going through my head.  It reminded me that we were each on the brink of great transformational awakening. It was a birthing process.  Much like Pocahontas we were being gifted in this moment with the choice to choose our route. What’s around the river bend? Key words to remember for any Pathfinder.  Anyway we looked at it there was going to be pain, there was going to be something that we would have to risk. The choice though was ours as to what we valued the most and what we could breathe through.  In times when we are faced with hard choices and risk we are also faced with truly living life!

We can be like a turtle and cave up within ourselves, we can harden our hearts or we can be like a snake and shed our old skins, our old beliefs, patterns and transform into something more. A new version of ourselves.  Often once we have revealed this new higher vibrational self to the world, to those we love and to ourselves we discover that what we were once afraid of is actually only our own TRUTH. From being willing to make what seemed like a sacrifice we open the doorway to our true path.

The path of the patriot of the soul is like all paths, but it is unique because of the being that has chosen to walk it. This person is a crusader. This person wants to live life to fullest. Does not want to settle for a life of illusion, doldrums, control and average ordinary experiences.

The patriot of the soul thrives on discovering their own bliss and promises to themselves and to those that hold their hand on the path to “always dance in loves moments; even the painful ones.  To love unconditionally and religiously the divinity in each other.”

True love of another can sometimes make us feel as though we have found ourselves fenced outside of what our desires and hopes once were.  True love in its highest form reveals the courage to share of ourselves even when it may appear not in our best interest.  “Love is wanting the most for someone, the most experience, the most adventure, the most exploration, the most feeling, the most growth… For them to be all they can, fly as high as they can, go as deep as they can. And to support them as much as you can. This may be the hardest way to love; it is though the truest way to love… (Jonti Searll)”

To truly open ourselves to another soul and to our destiny, our purpose, our life path, we must be willing to travel across the bridges of emotion. We must be willing to STOP and meditate on our hearts and to listen to the omens.  The Patriot of the Soul

knows three things:

With these three things a Soul Patriot takes in the words of Buddha, “Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” The Patriot of the Soul goes deeper then the material world of love and happiness. Advances farther than any societal career could ever take them.  They open themselves to “seeing life through heavens eyes. (The Prince of Egypt)” In doing this the Patriot discovers true unity of self, there is no more dividing and conquering. They discover that the peace and harmony that everyone searches for is right here: It is within.  Anything else is attempting to cause a wave of distortion in the peaceful waters of your soul.

A true Patriot of the Soul takes risks! And knows that in all honesty there is NO path.

 If you believe you must go somewhere, do something, learn something, create something to obtain pure awareness, pure love, and peace then you have already lost all that you desire as well as your way home.

“You create your own universe as you go along” Winston Churchill

What does your reality look like?