Your Neediness Is Stopping Your F-ck Yes! Life.

I know that you want it baby.
I can see it in your eye’s.
I know that you desire for that F-ck Yes! Life.
You want the connection,
you want the passion,
you want the happiness and direction.
I can see your desire.
It washes across your face as you speak.
It is a hunger,
and you are starving for it.
 
But luv,
here is the issue,
here is the challenge that you cannot see for yourself.
This hunger that is pulling at you,
it has you blinded to what you are missing.
 
And that my luv,
is not what you hunger for,
NO.
What you are missing is the presence,
the release,
the surrender.
You are missing your own allowing,
out of the fear that you miss all that you hunger for.
You fear that by letting go,
you will loose.
And what you are causing is the very lose of what you want so deeply for.
 
You are desperate and hungry luv.
You are a ravenous beast.
You are dangerous.
You are pushing away everyone and everything,
because of your fear.
And this has you even more hungry, does it not.
 
The answer to what you desire,
the way to getting it for certain.
It is not in you chasing.
It is not in you demanding.
It is not in you threatening,
or shaming,
or manipulating.
No you will never achieve what you want in these futile attempts.
This sort of immaturity may make you feel powerful,
it may show you evidence of you getting for a moment,
but you will loose it all quickly,
if you do not allow yourself to have it through your true power.
 
And that power is felt in your love.
It is seen and experienced in your presence.
In your opening to understanding that your self-centeredness is holding your desire at bay.
 
You want to be seen.
You want to be felt.
Understood.
You want to be wanted.
 
And you can have all of this and more.
Life wants to give to you luv.
But in order to have it,
you MUST allow it.
And this will come when you let go.
 
Let go of your neediness.
Let go of your control.
Let go of your hunger.
In your trying,
you are resisting.
 
You are missing all that you can be.
You are missing all that you can have.
You are missing all that you can give,
can share.
 
Because luv,
yes,
it is all about you.
You are for certain the most important person in the room.
But your importance,
must rest assured in confidence not need.
You cannot demand the spot light at the cost of the room.
You cannot fear your own light to the point of hiding from your shadow.
 
The way to have it all.
The path to your F-ck Yes! Life…
It is through your release of the NEED.
 
Ask yourself today luv,
where am I holding on? Where am I resisting all that I can have by insisting on my need?
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for deet’s about 1:1 elite coaching opportunities today while they still are available.

Breathe In Your Orgasm

It’s light hearted,
its shame removing,
it’s triggering as F-ck!
It’s connected and compassionate.
It’s educational and real AF.
It’s how I coach.
 
Yesterday, I was privileged to teach my 9th annual Orgasm Camp. Yes, I just said that ORGASM CAMP.😱
 
We had a packed room as always,
with so many new faces and fresh minds to share with.
It was beautiful to see those who have attended other events or worked with me in some fashion participating in the raw, authentic truth tales around ORGASM.
 
Female Orgasm.
And as usual there were those who could sit in the feeling of orgasm, and all that it means,
and those who could not.
 
What do I mean by sitting in the feeling of orgasm?
 
Orgasm is heightened sensation in the physical body,
it blends into waves of emotion and feelings then arise from that space as well.
It is electrical charges from our brain center that triggers different responses in our bodies, minds and “hearts”.
 
How this translates to yesterdays event….
and to YOU right now.
 
SO in Orgasm Camp,
as sexy as it may sound,
we have a seminar where my co-teacher and I verbally teach about female orgasm and S-E-X. We discuss the mental, emotional and physical aspects of the female sexual body.
Then we take a break and the model get’s ready.
The model then gets undressed and get’s on a table naked…..
 
OMFG! Yes there is a naked woman on a table at Orgasm Camp.
 
Can you feel the energy already?
The triggers going off?
The shame kicking in,
the judgement.
The fear.
The ego.
The desire.
The butterflies.
 
You may be thinking,
“Oh, hell no. I would not got to anything like that.”
 
And you may not.
Many people feel this way,
yet sex,
our intimate bedroom life is one of the main contributors to our happiness,
our confidence,
our body image,
our desire,
our feeling good,
and it plays a significant role in relationship success and happiness.
 
And the majority of people are shut down right HERE.
 
So the model get’s on the table naked,
and then I the teacher, demonstrates some basic tantric and quantum touch techniques on how to activate the body centers and help drop someone down out of the mind space where they can actually embody themselves and FEEL.
 
Little known secret about women’s sex… ( totally being sarcastic right now)🤣😂😛
 
Women need to get out of their head to be able to feel desire,
to be able to open up to sex,
to be turned on.
To want to go there and do it at all,
otherwise they are disconnected and it’s just “duty” based.
 
So I show in class the basics of sensual touch.
I show different touch techniques,
Show different toys,
and skills.
Then we move into revealing the secrets of the clitoris and the g-spot.
And the model…
well she get’s into orgasmic waves.
The real deal waves,
not some Harry met Sally moment waves.
And she show’s ORGASM.
The physical real world changes that occur.
The energetic changes that happen.
And so much more.
 
Now the students,
they sit and witness all of this happening.
They sit and breathe in the energy,
the feeling,
the ORGASM that is moving through the room.
And they feel what they feel in themselves.
 
Often, there is a great number who cannot witness this and choose to leave,
or to go to the restroom.
They tap their toes,
fold their arms and look about the room nervously.
They giggle,
and make under their breath comments,
the do whatever they need to release the energy that they feel coming up in them that they are uncomfortable with.
And they reduce their presence level in the space.
They hide.
They hide form their feelings by side tracking themselves with something.
 
This is a normal, human response to coping with something that is triggering.
We do it in many area’s of our life,
in all relationship,
and we do it to protect ourselves from that which we fear,
and that can potentially go against the grains of what we call our beliefs, our comfort, our understanding.
 
However, when we do this what we do is steal a beautiful opportunity from ourselves to witness our shadow lands,
to expand our knowledge and selves.
We step away from personal expansion and we choose in this moment to shut down to our own growth.
 
I recently read a statement from a a fellow coach/teacher that said,
 
“People will do just about anything to be happy,
except change.”
 
So true this statement is.
And we are all guilty as some level.
 
But when we choose to sit in this energy.
In this feeling,
when we choose to breathe it in and witness our shadow’s and expand them out into the light of revealing our truth,
we GROW.
 
We become more authentic.
And we discover our truth which always leads us to HAPPINESS.
 
Today I ask you to explore what triggers you.
Sit with the feelings that make you uncomfortable,
notice when you want to giggle or laugh,
when you choose to be sarcastic or opinionated,
when you fidget and hide.
 
Ask yourself,
“What am I hiding myself from? What am I fearful of seeing within?”
 
Ask yourself to go deeper into your own realms and DISCOVER a new layer of your truth.
 
Because under your shadows in is your light.
And your POWER.
 
Breathe it in Baby.
You are worthy of who you are.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
Live ORGASMICALLY today and be happy in who you are.
 
Reach out to me for deet’s on 1:1 private coaching to tap you into your true power and truth now.
 
You are worthy

Forced Consent is Not Authentic Consent.

You can’t touch this….
Touch.
Hands on attention.
Something that is so needed,
so human, so intimate and connective.
 
Yes touch is something beautiful.
Unless it is not wanted.
Unless it is given when it is not appropriate.
Unless it is out of one’s boundaries or it is forced upon someone.
 
And it is this final statement that I want to address today.
As a woman who has experienced her fair share of trauma,
and speak about the healing process,
the psychological issue around and how to best prevent further trauma in life,
It has come to my attention over the last week the power of touch, yet again.
 
The same touch that can show love can also trigger fear.
Our hands and fingers can open in a hug and give one with deep care and no desire to harm another,
these same hands and fingers can penetrate another person with fear and trigger old wounds as well as cause new ones with the same action of a hug.
 
How can that be?
How is it possible?
Does that mean that we should just not touch anyone?
Yet here we are a touch deprived society.
Hungry for touch and the fact that we are so deprived has us uncertain as to what is healthy and what is not,
because we are deprived and not taught proper respect and boundaries,
permissions and body language signs,
because we want what we want and tend to overlook another person’s feelings or obvious gestures of not wanting to be touched,
we push ourselves onto others with great disregard to what we may actually be triggering in them or re-anchoring from a past wound.
 
Touch can be healing,
but it can also be harming.
 
Outside of the harmful touch of physical abuse which is what you may think when you read the words of touch can be harmful,
it can still be harmful with a loving, caring, even playful touch.
 
I will bring to the attention what our society is being taught.
 
Recently in America we have dealt with the conversation of touch with our very president being captured stating:
 
“Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”
 
This is an extreme statement about touch.
About taking what you want with disregard to another human being. And I see the fall out of this statement in many relationship scenarios from parenting to lovers,
from friends to colleagues.
 
Every time we ask our child for a hug or a kiss and they say “no” and we respond with,
“Come on, mommy/daddy need’s a hug.”
” Give me hug and then you can go.”
“I will give you this if you give me a hug or a kiss.”
 
We are disrespecting our child’s space and answer.
We are teaching our child that it is okay to ignore a “no” and to even try and bribe, guilt or push further for what you want with total disrespect to another’s desire, boundary or need.
 
This then translates to adults who believe that it is okay to push for what they want with a spouse or partner.
 
It translates to adults who do not respect the space, time or feelings of another in any relationship situation.
 
It translates to adults who do not take responsibility for their actions, as they feel that they are doing what they are doing out of a “good” place or a “just or deserving” place, as though they have the right when in fact they do not,
and that no matter how good or right our actions may be,
if they are harming toward another’s boundaries or desires then we need to pause and respect what we are being told or what we are witnessing in energy,
body language coming from another person.
 
Touch.
It is so very powerful.
And our boundaries around it can ebb and flow within any relationship and moment by moment in our lives.
A touch that felt good yesterday may very well close us down to connection the next.
 
And the thing to remember about touch is that it extends past the physical.
 
Touch is about how we touch another person.
 
We can touch another person with our physical body,
we can touch them with our words,
we can touch them with the look from our eye’s,
the expression on our face.
We touch other’s all the time.
How you touch them is the question that I encourage you to review in your life today?
 
Are you honoring and respectful?
Do you listen to their body language as well as their words?
Can you hear their truth and accept it just as that,
without needing approval from them or needing a reason as to why they think, feel or need what they need?
 
Or are you operating from a place of self-centeredness?
A place of need and hunger?
 
When you are in relationship with anyone,
no matter the intimacy level or actual label on the relationship,
do you give…
do you touch…
do you speak…
do you act…
out of the place of unconditional respect and love or are you wanting something and wanting to feel a certain way,
with the belief that if this other person “supports” (gives) you what you are wanting by allowing you to act, speak, give, touch, etc… the way that you deem good in that moment,
that this is what “should” happen and it is “okay” because that is just the way that you want it to be?
 
We are all guilty of ignoring another and insisting that they feel or think a way that we want them too instead of how they may actually be feeling or thinking.
 
We are all guilty of wanting something from another at times.
We are all guilty of missing ques in body language or tones, even not hearing words fully and crossing over boundaries.
We are all guilty of being self-centered.
 
No one wants to feel rejected.
No one wants to feel like they have hurt someone that they care for.
 
The reality is that when in relationship,
we will hurt those we care for.
We will not always be present with them.
And we will have hidden expectations if nothing else that we are not aware of that may cause issues along the path.
 
But if we want to act out of love,
if we want to be emotionally mature,
and trustworthy,
if we want to expand and deepen a relationship,
then each of us MUST take responsibility for how we choose to touch those around us.
 
With our words.
With our physical bodies.
With our looks.
With our expectations.
And assumptions.
 
And we must learn to respect the “No” without question of why.
 
Because no one owes you an explanation of why they are feeling any way,
just like you do not owe anyone an explanation as to why you think or feel any particular way either.
 
But to push your will on another,
is a breaking of truth,
it is dishonoring to the relationship and to both parties in relationship,
and it shows the desperation of one’s need and lack of actual care for another.
Making it detrimental to the relationship.
 
Pay attention to what you are seeing,
to what you feel coming from another person,
not not what you want to feel or see.
 
Realize that your truth about any particular thing may not be the same as another’s and if you are interacting with another person you NEED their consent to involve them.
 
How are you toughing those in your life today?
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.

STOP BEING A YES WHORE.

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STOP BEING A YES WHORE.

Wow! Kendal that is a harsh statement for a Friday morning.

What do you mean by, “Yes Whore?”

You are guilty beautiful of doing just this.
I am guilty too.
There is not a soul on this planet that has not fallen into the illusion of being a yes whore and believing that it is the road to our happiness.

Every time you say YES to someone and you actually mean NO, you are in an essence whoring yourself out and dishonoring self and the relationship that you are YESSING all over.

Every time that inauthentic YES pops out of your mouth and you find yourself swallowing your own needs, desires, ideas, and value because you feel that you “should” do this or that to be a nice person, to be helpful, to offer support, to show you love, etc. etc.

You sabotage yourself!
You sabotage the relationship.
And you loose respect.

I have been in the business of relationship coaching in one facet or another for two decades now and the one thing that I hear repeatedly is, ” I can’t say no, that would be mean.”

“He is my husband… I love him, I can’t say no.”
“She is so sweet and working so hard, she needs this/needs me… I can’t say no.”
“They are really struggling right now, I can’t say no.”
“They need me.”
“I don’t know how I am going to do it but I can’t say no.”

And following these wonderful words of what seem’s like love and support come…

” I am so exhausted, I just don’t have anything left to give, why can’t they/he/she see that?”

“I just feel like a all people ever want me for is ___________________.”

“You know, I have had it… I have been busting myself open here, doing everything I can, to show how much I care and I ask for one small thing and get told no after everything that I have done.”

“Doesn’t he/she see that I really don’t want to do that/feel like it?

“I would be all alone if I said what I really want or need.”

These and so many other things in so many subjects of our lives.

Just think about all the moments that you actually wanted to respond with NO but opted to say yes because you did not want to hurt the relationship, the other persons feelings or damage your value in the relationship.

Think of all those moments that if you get real with yourself you answered YES because you were answering out of fear and/or lack of self-worth.

Well you see beautiful,
these are the times that you were whoring yourself out.

There is no honor or respect in being out of integrity and not being honest with your answer.

You answered YES in exchange for something that you wanted or needed. You put little value on what is so precious and worth so much in hopes that you could,
if but only for a short time,
buy someones love, time, appreciation,
so that you would feel good.

But the funny thing is,
much like a whore who is just selling off their sex and not looking for anything real, lasting or of value,
you find yourself having to consistently whore yourself out to the point of being used up just to get a taste of what you are actually wanting.
And much like the client of the whore who is trying to fill a void and is just buying the illusion of the intimacy and connection,
you are finding yourself feeling used, abused and alone.

The relationships that you are doing this with are the relationships that you need to GET REAL with yourself on.

If you want to experience true happiness.
If you want to be respected.
If you want to have that soulmate relationship based in love,
if you want to feel supported, safe, understood,
If you want to stop questioning yourself and the relationships that you have,
and just BE YOU-
and THRIVE.

if you want that F-ck YES! Life…

Well is starts by you STOPPING YOURSELF FROM BEING A YES WHORE.

The ONLY person you need to answer YES to ALWAYS….

Is YOU.

And you see, if you answer yes to you 100% of the time,
you will find that you will be living authentically and in integrity.
And guess what that means beautiful?

It means you will gain trust, respect, real love and support.
It means that you will NOT ALWAYS make someone else happy,
that you will respect and love yourself enough to know that you are not responsible for anyone else’s emotional response, mental thoughts or even physical actions.
It means that you will no longer be enabling another’s victim mindset in their unconscious maneuver to control you and feel loved themselves.

It means that you will be one step closer to manifesting the life that you are worthy of.

So Stop Being a YES WHORE and Release Yourself from That Which Binds You.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Been thinking about your happiness and success?
Wanting to SAY YES! To Yourself?
Let’s Make it happen beautiful in work, love and life.
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Weak Boundaries? No Problem. Do These 2 Things to Overcome Your Shiz NOW!

You have a lack of boundaries with yourself beautiful.

Say what?

Your boundaries for self SUCK.
You cannot even deny it.
You may be under the impression that you got all your shiz together,
that boundaries are goofy or not really needed,
I mean you hear people say all the time with pride that they have none,
or perhaps you have what you consider very hard boundaries,
but baby I got news for you.
Porous or solid,
your self- boundaries suck.

And here is my observation and reasoning for you.

You refuse to commit.
You refuse to stay consistent.
You refuse to do the DAMN THING that you KNOW you must do for yourself.
You keep turning your back on YOU.
And then you have the gumption to b*itch about it and proclaim,

I took that class…
I got that help…
I tried that…
I had patience…
I pushed myself…
I focused on that…
I did that meditation, journaling, “work”….

I did it,
BUT….
“IT” did not help me.

“IT” did not give me the results that I wanted or expected it too.

Okay beautiful,
you are full of crap right now.
This is all bullsh*t!

“IT” whatever “IT” is or was has NOTHING to do with you having success.

The thing that determines your success is YOU.
Doing this THING that you “tried” is not ever going to get you the results that you want.

“IT” is support, education, a new viewpoint, system, guidance to help you achieve what you want IF….

YOU do the damn THING that you need to do.

And that THING is COMMIT.
That thing is staying consistent.

COMMITMENT + CONSISTENCY
to YOU beautiful.

And what does that look like? 🤔

➡️It looks like you getting up in the morning and stretching,
breathing into your beautiful body and feeling the gratitude that your body supported your life all night without any conscious effort from you instead of dreading the day ahead.

➡️It looks like you NOT choosing to look at the money you do not have in your bank account before you drink your first morning coffee or shower.

➡️It looks like you applying your focus to positive affirmations instead of looking at the bank account.

➡️It looks like you expanding your knowledge around things that turn you on instead of spending your time with things that drain you.

➡️It looks like you believing that you are worthy of love, success, a beautiful body, abundance and safety instead of focusing your fear on the opposite.

➡️It looks like you committing to YOU and not being the people pleaser that you feel you need to be in order to feel connection, love and gain success in any subject of your life.

➡️ It looks like you not making excuses about your money, your emotions, your responsibilities, your health, your support, your time, your vibration or the economy and JUST DOING THE DAMN THING!

➡️It looks like you being strong in who you are and what you want instead making allowances for being weak and stupid and letting your fears and worries dictate you results.

That is what it looks like beautiful.

But no one,
no program,
no coach, educator, marketing system or therapist,
no healer or medication,
no system,
no nothing…

But your COMMITMENT + CONSISTENCY can get you this.

So back to those boundaries that you seem to be having issues with and you want to ignore so fiercely.

Back to making some things nonnegotiable to your life and how you choose to show up and claim it.

Back to getting real and raw,
that is the hard thing.
That is the challenge.
To recognize and accept that YOU.
you are the one holding the map.
It’s your decision what way to go each step of your path.
And even when you feel like you have some great reason as to why you are going a direction that you know is out of alignment,
that ONLY YOU are making that decision.
And it is NEVER forced on you.
You CHOOSE how you react to any given experience or moment in your timeline.
You CHOOSE what you apply your attention and energy too.
You CHOOSE what you commit too.
But always remember that…

YOU ARE COMMITTING TO SOMETHING.

Where does your commitment lie?

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

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I have been in those shoes before all too many time.
But that fear is not going to stop you.
You are powerful.
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This is a once in a life time to work with me 1:1 from anywhere in the world.
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Stop letting everything be an excuse!
You deserve better than those reasons you have to stay trapped in your comfort bubble of suffering.
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You Are Worthy Of Authentic Love.

 
It’s high time beautiful that you STOP the silliness of always saying yes when you mean no.
 
Yeah I see you over there.
faking that smile.
Faking that reaction.
Feeling like you have too,
when in truth you just simply are not all that in to that shiz.
 
But you still say yes.
You say yes because its programmed into you to say yes.
You say yes because you don’t want to rock the boat,
you do not want to cause a confrontation,
you most certainly don’t want to feel separation.
 
What does it matter any way?
Your opinion, your needs or desires.
You are a nice person.
You are not greedy.
You are not selfish.
You put other’s first.
Just the way you were taught.
 
I get it.
 
The issue is that you are dried up.
You are worn out.
You just keep saying yes and thinking that your yes will fill you up because giving is so good.
 
Except you forgot to give to the most important person beautiful.
 
You forgot to take care of the most valuable player in your life.
 
YOU.
 
And so you now have so little of you left to give.
You are fatigued,
lost and off centered.
You don’t have the stamina or energy to keep going and you most likely are questioning if you can.
 
But you just said another inauthentic yes to someone,
and so you must.
You must keep your head up and smile.
 
You are afraid that if you state your truth.
If you say NO –
that this relationship you are giving yourself away for will be no more.
You are afraid you will be judged, criticized, hurt someones feelings, or worse yet be abandoned by them.
 
If you really stop and feel into this,
you should see the silliness of this idea.
If this relationship is meant to be,
if it is a friendship,
a love based relationship,
a relationship that is based on truth and trust…
then why would it go away just because you are a no to something?
 
Now, if the relationship is based simply on you doing what the other wants and needs at all cost,
and you not getting your needs met,
or there is zero allowance for your authenticity,
then perhaps it is high time that you reconsider the value of this relationship in your life.
 
Perhaps you should look at this relationship and question what exactly you are making yourself available for and WHY?
 
Does this relationship make you happy?
Does it fulfill you?
Do you feel like this relationship is equally yoked?
 
Or are you just bending over backward out of fear of being alone.
Out of fear of loss.
Fear that there is nothing better than this,
that you are not deserving of it?
 
Well, I want you to realize that YOU ARE WORTHY of love.
 
And any relationship that says that it is love but demands you to NOT be authentic to get this love, is NOT LOVE.
 
It’s a LIE.
 
You deserve much better than this.
And deep in your heart you know it is true.
It is what pulls at you when you find yourself holding yourself and trying to comfort yourself when you actually need the arms of your relationship.
 
It is that sick feeling that comes up in your stomach when you say yes to something but you know that it is not really for you, but you do it anyway.
 
It is that nervousness or that physical constriction that manifests itself when you agree and push yourself to be/do something that you are not.
 
YES YOU KNOW.
 
And it is truly high time that you STOP the silliness of saying yes when you are actually a no.
 
In saying your authentic truth you will gain respect,
you will feel more confidence,
you will be embraced more by life and others,
you will be trustworthy.
And guess what those people that DO LOVE YOU,
will still be there.
The one’s who were only there for your hand outs, your service and how you made them feel without care of you,
well they will no longer be there.
 
Or they will see you differently and love you for your truth.
 
Either way,
you are worthy of true love.
But in order for you to have it,
you have to start being true to yourself.
And love yourself enough to speak your heart.
 
Say YES.
Say YES to YOU.
Not to everyone else.
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

Not All Gifts Are Gifts, You See.

I got this for you.
I got you this thing.
I got you this thing that I had to get you.
I am sure you will love it.
I know you will.
I got this for you.
It’s my favorite,
and is your’s now too.

Oh you said that you like that.
And so I it is true.
That now all you want,
is this thing.
Over and over,
I will never venture out.
I am not looking at what you say,
or do,
all I can focus on is making sure that you have this thing till you want it no more.

I love you.
I like you.
I adore you.
I cannot get enough of you.
And so it must be so,
that you too,
feel this thing I am feeling,
and want it as much.

I desire this to happen,
I crave it so much,
My mind wants to devour you,
as my body wants to taste and feel.
I cannot hear your words of denial,
I cannot allow myself to pay heed,
no you,
you must want this too.

It is a gift that I give you.
And even though you say no,
I know that you want this.
Because it is true.

Your words are like nails on a chalk board,
why do you argue with me?
Your silence is deafening,
why don’t you give thanks for all that I do?

It must mean more to you.
I must be with you.
I know that you feel something,
you say it is nothing,
you say it cannot be so.
But,
I love you.
I adore you.
I want more of you.
So it is this way.

My desire has me blinded.
My hunger has me deaf.
My heart pains at your denial,
so I will show you,
yes I will.

I know that you will love it.
I know it will be so.
Just give me this moment.
To absorb all you are.
Stop making such a big deal of it.
Why are you hiding over there?
I know that you will love it.
So let me show you my dear.

You make me feel so alive.
You make me smile with your presence.
You make me feel superhuman,
so accept this gift I am giving.
Accept this “love” I am offering.
Stop denying it.
You know you want it.
You know you love it.
You like it.
You want it.
You do.
—————————————————————————

A tale I hardly speak of is the tale of being a rape survivor,
however I wish to express this today as when I walk through this world, I see so many rapes in so many different fashions.

The above is a share that was activated by a trigger from someone in my life recently.

Although there was no harm done,
although I am certain that there was no intent of such,
not even a trigger.
I find it my mission, to speak out loud and have a voice for all those who cannot.

So bare with me here,
as what I am saying may possibly cause you ill feelings,
for your guilt as much as any other human for the rape offenses that we all have made and played down without notice to the messages of ego shared.

No matter what it is.
No matter the gift.
Realize this…
Not all gifts are gifts you see,
for a gift can only truly be received in love when the receiver desires the gift,
wants for it some way,
or truly is something that speaks their name.
But, many a gift has nothing to do with the receiver,
and everything to do about the giver,
who longs to be seen.
To be accepted.
To be loved.
At all cost they will go.
Not noticing the one that they love.
They place their hunger before the heart of another.

No matter the event,
no matter the intimacy shared.
If it is not two sided in wanting,
then it is nothing more than a taking.
You think it is romantic,
you think is sweet,
you think is no big deal,
but when we steal an intimacy with another,
we ignore all that they are.
We crave more for our desire.
We fear more about our pain,
our rejection of not getting,
of not having or experiencing,
what we want is all that matters,
and so we paint a picture of what will be and ignore all the strokes of anything different.

A kiss,
a hug,
a tender touch you see.
All can be innocent and precious,
but when not wanted they are a trespass.
Just as the gift that one might give that is not desired,
can be nothing more than a nuisance.
A problem you see.
We trespass others in so many ways.
From touches to things.

Be aware is all that is stated here.
A lesson for me and you.
We all are guilty of taking.

Ask yourself this,
“This action, this thing, these words that I share: are they from my desire to have what I want or give what is wanted?”

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

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Who’s Claiming You Love?

Well F-ck!
There you go again.
Chasing everything that you don’t want because you got caught up in everyone else’s stuff.

Thinking that, that is what you should do if you love them.

And what has happened to you love?
Oh, I know….
you lost yourself.

Yet again you forgot about the most important person in your life.

YOU.

You forgot to make time and space for you.

And look what has come of it.

Your world is in chaos.
Your exhausted and overwhelmed.
You are running on empty.

And as much as you want to point a finger outward,
and say that they made you do it.
Say that you had no choice.

You know that it is bullsh*t!

So what are you going to do about it?

You may want to put your head down and force your will.
You may want to fully retract yourself from everything and go into hiding.
You may think that you cannot stop this cycle and that you have to just keep on going.
You may still believe even that you need to do that.

But the reality,
is far from what you think it is love.
The reality is that it is HIGH time that you PAUSE and take a moment for YOU.

At all cost too.
Because the other cost’s are far too great if you let them manifest into existence.
I mean if you keep doing what you are doing,
what do you think will end up happening?

Suddenly things will change on their own?
Suddenly someone will stop everything and say, “Hey, no don’t keep doing all of this for me and everyone else, let me carry that for you, and you just go take a holiday for yourself…”

That is laughable.
And it won’t happen.
Because you are not allowing it to happen.
Because you somewhere in your crazy thinking and feeling believing that it cannot happen and that you don’t deserve it to happen,
even though at your core,
if you ask yourself what you truly want,
you may be shocked to discover that you believe and almost expect that someone will come save you from the choices that you are making and from the actions that you are taking and all that you are carrying.

And if you get really real with yourself you may even feel some anger or bitterness around this.
I mean look at all that you are doing for everyone else.
Right?

Seriously.
You do it all.
You carry all that load for everyone,
and surly they will notice.
Surely they will see it and want to say thank you.

Not just say thank you,
but REALLY say THANK YOU.

And then you will be happy!

Okay love,
this has got to sound a bit whacked to you.
I mean you know logically that it is not so.
You know that ONLY YOU can make the changes in your life that are needed.

I mean you get that you are responsible for your life.

I hope you do.

Because that is the only f-cking way out of this mess you have yourself in.
The only way out of it,
and the only way that you will be happy,
and feel confident, strong, and in love with your life and yourself is IF you,

YES YOU…

Claim your LIFE TODAY.
And claiming your life is more than just just talking about it.
It is actually meaning it at a deep SOUL LEVEL.
And then HONORING that and taking the steps that you are called to take despite everyone else.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for grown A*s Believers”
www.kendalwilliams.com

No One Gives A Sh*t About Your Troubles.

No one really cares if you succeed or not.
No one really gives a rat’s rear end if you pay your bills or not.
No one really ultimately gives a shit.
How do I know this is true?
 
Well think about it…
Your friend tells you about their troubles,
the man next door shares about his job loss,
the woman at the school shares she has cancer,
your aunt says that she is terminal,
Your kid says that they are stressed about this or that,
your buddy at work get’s canned.
 
Sad but true.
These events happen every day.
You hear about them,
and you say,
OMG! I am so sorry.
I will pray for you.
You ask what you can do.
You feel bad for a few moments or even revisit the feeling here and there through out the day,
but at the end of the day,
you sit down on your couch,
you snuggle with your kids or your spouse,
or crash alone,
you watch whatever series on TV that you are caught up in,
and you ignore the miseries of others.
 
Right?
So why think that anyone else is doing something different when you share your sob stories.
 
the reality is that no one really cares if you succeed.
And to top it off,
almost everyone will eat away at your
TIME
ENERGY
MONEY
HEART
and whatever else they can absorb from you in the process.
 
Your friends,
Your family,
and any one that you allow too,
will step into your life and enjoy all that you have to give,
and keep taking from you until you say no,
or drop from exhaustion.
 
So why do so many of us, ‘find ourselves wrapped up in other people’s drama, if this is true?
 
Why do we allow for others to just leach off of us,
if at the end of the day it does not really matter?
 
Why do we extend ourselves to the point of breaking in some fashion, if no one really gives a shit?
 
Now I know that this may seem a little pessimistic here.
And I am not saying that we should not help.
That we should not ask for help.
 
What I am wanting to do is bring attention to the harsh reality of being human and living in a world of fellow humans.
 
We are all greedy mother f-ckers.
 
We want what we want and we want it for ourselves.
Even when we are “helping another” it is for ourselves.
 
It is most likely our ego,
wanting a pat on the back in some fashion,
even if it is just from ourselves to say, ” Yeah, I am a good person.”
 
Here is the reality,
here is the thought behind this share,
so often,
this aspect of our ego’s that desires to be just that,
“A good person,”
will lead us down the path of filling up our schedules with other peoples business.
 
The business that leads us to no where land.
The business that takes us into stress,
into chaos, and misery.
Worry and doubt.
The business that if we get real with ourselves,
we are stepping into because of our own fear of moving forward.
 
And so we fiddle around in this or that,
being a good person.
 
Taking the short term payout,
of feeling good about ourselves,
all the while,
denying our dreams.
 
When we allow others to dictate,
to control,
and to take priority on our schedules.
and in our lives,
our thoughts,
we hand over our power to them .
And we in essence say,
” I am sure that you will put me before you and do what is in my best good.”
We say,
” I have weak or no boundaries.’
” I do not value my own time or energy.”
” I need a reason to be a victim.”
 
And we do these things,
because yes we want to be good people.
We want to be liked.
We want to help others.
We feel lead to do them.
 
All great reasons.
However, all ego based.
 
And these ego based reason.
will NEVER lead us to the results in our lives that we desire.
They will only lead us to something other than success.
And that would be FAILURE.
 
And we will continue to experience this as long as we over give of ourselves based in ego.
 
If you want to claim that F-ck Yes Life.
If you want to build a multi-six or seven figure business.
If you want to have a phenomenal relationship.
Or any other dream or goal,
then you have to stop f-cking around.
And you have to make YOU #1.
Because no one else on this planet is going to,
and nor should they.
 
It is high time that you go do what you need to do,
to become whom you need to become.
 
Stop making excuses by getting caught up in everyone’s else’s live’s,
INSTEAD get caught up in your own.
 
Say YES to the most important person in your life.
YOU.
 
And as always,
Stop Exisiting & Start Living

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THIS is the THING that will prevent you from having it all.

The reason you will never have the relationships,
the lifestyle, the money or anything else that you really want is because your f-cking scared to death to call it in.
 
to ask for it.
To set the stage for it.
Your f-cking scared to death,
that if you actually just let it rip,
that the world would run away from you and that you would loose all that you have,
and having what you have is better than not having anything at all,
even though it is a long shot from what your soul desires.
 
 

Isn’t that right Baby?

 
So you sit there in your suffering.
In your fear of making changes,
taking steps,
and sharing your heart and soul.
 
 
The comforts of your dis-satisfaction and smallness with life,
is something that you cannot seem to let go of.
 
And THIS,
 

This is the THING,

that will will prevent you every God damn day from having what you really want in your:
 
Finances
Career
Relationships
Sex
Health
Lifestyle
Faith
 
 
This morning I sat down to checked into my email, like I do every morning around 10am. My phone had been popping off with text messages from five old lovers and I questioned what the heck was going on in my energy to call in all this attention from relationships of the past.
 
I questioned if I was stepping down in my vibe?
I questioned if I was feeling un-seen, unloved or something else?
Was I simply needing attention?
Or was I getting so TURNED ON TO LIFE that my vibe was magnetizing and calling in those who desired the turn on as well?
Who need the feminine creative flow and surrender to take them to that level of depth within themselves to manifest a life that they want more than what they have within the comforts of the now.
 
As I have been sitting here analyzing these messages,
these men, and all the emotion and feelings that come up for me, I see many things.
 
To start with my judgments.
My fears.
My patterns.
My love that I hold for each of them still today.
 
And all of these things play a role in my lessons.
And in who I have become.
In gratitude and with the help of each of these gentlemen.
 
SO as I sit here and look at what the potential message is,
I see that there are some factors to what I am needing in my current life that these men could fill for me,
 
However, the question comes,
Do I open an old door that did not work back then and try again or do I keep it shut?
 
It comes down to my current needs, desires and boundaries.
In this particular case I will focus in on my boundaries as boundaries are something that MUST be developed, reevaluated and adjusted often. What is a boundary in one case may not be in another and as we learn and grow,
as we come more into who we really are and get into greater alignment with our soul,
 
our boundaries change.
 
Boundaries are part of CALLING IN what we want into our lives.
 
Without healthy boundaries, we never gain the life that we really want. Instead we push it away from us in one way or another.
 
You know what I am speaking of,
Don’t you?
 
You are a doormat.
The go to person, who never feels appreciated,
just used.
 
This is boundary issue.
 
You are the center of attention, always.
You have no space.
You are fearful of saying no,
for whatever reason.
So you are fatigued and worn out emotionally, mentally and physically.
 
This is a boundary issue.
 
You feel alone.
You look around you and you have no real relationships.
You hate people, because in your view, “they are all stupid.”
So you sacrifice relationship for the most part to avoid the drama of others.
 
This is a boundary issue.
 
If it is going to be, it is up to me.
You cannot rely on anyone but yourself.
You don’t even want to.
So you keep things nice and tidy,
limited relationships, outings or anything.
And you play within your own means,
never asking for shit.
 
This is a boundary issue.
 
You expect that others should just do/act/love/need as you do.
You think that by always doing what is needed for another,
always making yourself available,
and being a yes, is good.
will get you what you want.
 
This is a boundary issue.
 
You don’t think that boundaries are that important.
You think that others need to just relax and chill.
Stop being so serious.
And you don’t see yourself over stepping,
getting shocked when someone claims you did.
 
This is a boundary issue.
 
To name a few.
 
We are all in need of understanding our boundaries and learning how to play within the multiple relationships of our lives, boundaries as well.
 
But the tale of today,
is to make you aware that BOUNDARIES are a vital part of your manifestation process.
 
It is important for you to explore what you are needing, wanting and feel good about in any given situation.
 
And here is the real kicker….
 
If you feel uncertain,
negative,
like you want to say no,
have fear, doubt or some other ill sensation or emotion,
then what you need to get right with is this:
 

THAT IS YOUR SOUL SAYING F-CK NO!!!!!

So Listen Damn It.

 
If you want to create that #freedombasedlife that #fuckyeslifestlye then you have to HONOR your boundaries.
 
You will NEVER call in what you want to manifest.
You will NEVER vibrate at the frequency that you want or need to have the life that you desire, as long as you are saying yes when you are actually a
 

F-CK NO!!!!

 
What will I do with these five old lovers?
I will listen to my soul.
 
That is what I will do.
Each man presents a different boundary to set,
to feel into,
to learn more about myself with.
 
Each man is here offering me an opportunity to get deeper into SOUL ALIGNMENT.
 
And so I will.
That is what I will do.
 
How about you?
What will you do with the boundary lessons offered you today?
 

And as always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

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