Fortune Favors the BOLD – But Why?

It is said that fortune favors the BOLD.
And from my experience this is an accurate assessment.
I know who you are,
Wanting to be bold.
Looking for opportunities to “let your hair down” and prove to the world and yourself that you can be comfortable in your boldness.
Or at least what you currently perceive as bold.
Stripping yourself bare,
Doing things that feel seductive in their discomfort.
Pushing your boundaries with the hope and belief that your actions will PROVE that you are comfortable being you.
That you are your own boss.
That you are owned by no one.
Yes,
You know who you are.
You know you feel that hunger deep inside your soul
and you are looking for a way to feed it.
A way to connect to what you know is at your core,
To whom you pray at night to find,
And cross your fingers is truly you.
But you are still lost,
Aren’t you?
You are still searching my love.
And THIS…
THIS is why you struggle.
THIS is why you are still chasing your desires.
THIS is why you feel that inner wobble.

You know what I speak of.
That feeling of uncertainty.
That feeling of not knowing.
That sensation of not yet being steady
But instead still full of questions.

Is this correct?
Am I doing it right?
Am I enough or maybe too much?
Am I worthy, truly worthy without reason to have the life that I want?

You feel it calling you.
You feel the drawing in like a lover across the room,
Wanting you.
And you want it too.
You try to not let yourself daydream about what could be.
About how it could feel.
But when you do…

You get wet and tingly.
You get aroused by this seductress.
You want it.
You know you do.
But do you dare?

It will require you to do what you have never done before.
It will require you to be BOLD like never before.
To move past the need to prove,
To ignore your need to show you can,
Or to walk or talk the way you “think” confidence walks or talks.
To stop trying to force it to happen.
To stop trying to force yourself to grow.
To be something or someway.
To stop trying in general.
Boldness is nothing more than just BEING YOU.
And daring to LIVE.

The fact you are searching so hard,
Feeling so lost,
Caught in your wobble.
Shows how out of alignment to your SOUL you really are.
Shows your lostness.
And the fortunes that you crave will never materialize while you remain out of alignment.
While you continue to be BOLD.

Fortune favores the BOLD.
The BOLD who dare to LIVE.

That is.
Which is one of the rarest events in this world.

Ask yourself today..

Am I truly living?
Or just pretending?

And remember
Stop Existing & Start Existing
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

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Our Vineyards Speak Our Truth.

Wine.
Grapes.
Grapevines.
Vineyards and vineyards of depth, complexity, sweet and earthy aromas.
 
Staring down the rows of grapes,
I ponder the truths of where my life is and where it is going.
I stand there, with my ego screaming at me one thing and my heart basking in the beauty and perfection of the moment.
 
There are inner voices ( my ego) yelping that I should respond to my ex about this or that, and how or why is this happening? They screech at me about the stresses that billow around life and want me to pull my attention to these things.
 
These things that make me not feel good.
These things that guide me down a rabbit hole of negativity.
Of scarcity and fear.
Here is my ego.
Here is the demon of fear that is making use of anything or anyone that it can to show me evidence of what it wants me to believe which is nothing more than an illusion to my soul truth.
 
In this,
I remember the words that I have expressed to so many clients, friends and family through the years in times of stress and ego.
 
Just breathe.
And so I breathe.
 
I stand here in the sunshine that peaks out from behind the clouds on this marvelous day in the Texas wine country and I breathe.
 
I allow myself to feel all this fear as it dances around inside my being.
I feel the emotions that come up with it.
I feel my body wanting to take ownership of it and manifest suffering in some fashion.
 
I feel it.
Deep down in my gut.
The rumble.
The bloated nasty feeling.
A need perhaps to excuse myself to the restroom.
My chest feels tight as well.
I feel distant yet embodied.
But I feel like I want to run from it all.
My heart is holding.
And it is mourning.
 
These are all brought on my my emotions.
By the fear that is currently possessing my being.
I allow myself to feel it,
and I stare out over the vineyards of grapes.
I sip my port,
And I breathe.
 
I breathe as deep as I possibly can.
From the dungeons of this fear my soul charges forth,
it claws its way back up into my heart.
It grabs a hold of me,
I now feel really sick.
The awakening of all that I was falling prisoner to comes forth in my mind.
I see how this fear,
this emotion that longs to control my expression,
my actions and my life,
how it cannot happen unless I choose to let go of everything that I desire for myself, my life and for the one’s I love.
 
I see it.
And I breathe.
I breathe deeply into the awareness.
The awareness that I cannot let this happen.
I must let go of the hand of fear, all though there is comfort in it, it just does not serve my life.
It would be me settling for all that I do not want.
 
So what is the answer?
The answer to this vineyard tale,
is that as I stood there my soul chose a new path.
And I listened.
I leaned into my soul and I aligned back with it.
I allowed myself to be led back to my joy.
 
The suffering,
the fear and scarcity thinking lasted only perhaps a moment in time, but it was a moment of awareness that I could not link up with it or it would devour me like it does so many in our world.
 
As I breathed deep and drank my wine,
I consciously turned my attention to something more.
I turned my thoughts and thus my feelings to joy, to gratitude, to the beauty in this moment and in my life.
 
I looked out with fresh eye’s and I gasped at the beauty that was planted before me.
 
SO much potential from something so small.
The grape.
 
The complexity that we all crave,
the ease that we enjoy its flavors with,
sweet,
earthy,
crisp,
tangy,
oakey,
spicy.
 
There is so much that a glass of wine can bring into your experience.
It offers you new flavors with every sip.
Depending on what you eat with it,
the flavors will change,
some things will be enhanced,
some will be muted.
Sometimes a wonderful glass of wine can be destroyed by the bite of a food that does not compliment it making you choose which you will give up.
 
Much like our lives,
wine brings to us pleasure,
when we allow it to and when it is paired with the right things.
 
When we align to our souls,
and we step into what we know is true and in our best,
we honor our own vineyard.
Where there is so much possibility.
There is so much joy,
SO much hope.
So much love.
and abundance.
 
It is all here in the vines of our lives,
in the vines of our expressions,
our experiences,
and how we choose to develop them.
 
So I ask you this today on this lovely Sunday morning,
What vineyard will you plant for your life and what wine will it bear for you tomorrow?
 
Remember this!
The branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you or I unless we abide in our truth.
 
This truth,
no matter your faith, is the truth of your soul alignment.
 
Are you aligned to your soul?
Your bearing of fruit will tell you your answer.
 
Choose wisely.
Choose abundance.
Choose love.
Choose joy.
Choose a FREEDOM BASED LIFE.
 
Cheers.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
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I will be sharing mind shift strategies that I have adapted through the years to manifest the Freedom Based Life that I now live today.
 
Limited Workshop Spot’s due to the 1+1 Private Focus Sessions that come with this workshop.
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Fear Has You By The Ball’s. – Don’t Even Try to Deny It.

If you knew you were limitless what would you do?

 
This is the question that I am batting around today.
I have answered it repeatedly.
I have answered it from a place of fear,
A place of strength and faith,
A place of courage,
A place of cockiness.
However the last few days as I pause in my life to see where I am,
To feel where I am going,
to take notice of my alignment or lack there of,
I find myself asking this question yet again.
 
If I knew I was limitless what would I do?
Who would I be?
What would I have?
 
Tapping into the reality of our limitless potential is one mother f-cking scary thing to do.
 
Just typing this here has my stomach in knots,
I feel the excitement. I feel the joy. I feel the fear, the worry.
I feel all my bullshit of I am NOT good enough coming up.
 
But most of all I feel myself craving it.
 
Yes the last few days I have been blessed with God bringing to me my calling at a deeper level than before. People dance into my life and bring messages of what I am to be doing, whom I am suppose to wo with, what my soul message is.
 
The message of soul is calling so loud these days it is difficult for me to hear anything else.
The issue with soul screaming at me is my own lack of worthiness.
You know that feeling.
You want it but you don’t deserve it.
You want it but your not smart enough,
good looking enough,
compassionate enough,
loving enough,
patient enough.
 
You are not a good enough person.
Who are you to believe that you could ever have that or be that.
 
Yes those feelings.
All stemming back to putting on BIG shoes that you do not feel you can fill properly.
You may be saying, ” Kendal, I am not cut out for these shoe’s. – I am not a leader. I am just a person, an average person who has no message to change the world. “
 
Well, if this is true then you are most likely one f-cking happy person.
You have no pressure from soul to question your reality.
You have no inclination to want for more or be more.
You are feeling comfortable, at peace and love with your chosen career, your chosen world, your chosen relationships and everything. Life is just glorious and you couldn’t ask for more.

 

If that is the case, then CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

We are all happy for you.
Bless you.
 
However, I am betting that this is not the case or you would not be following me or reading this right now.
 
You want more.
You know that more is out there.
You are being called in some fashion to be more.
To stand out and do something.
Something that scares the living sh*t out of you.
 
I understand.
I am there with you.
I sat down today and wrote out my manifestations, I did my daily call in of blessing and I then turned and did some inner work from my mentor. I FINALLY grew the balls to answer some journal prompts she gave me in May that I had been avoiding out of the fear of my own success.
 
I just let my hands write whatever came to them and I felt so much fear rise up in me that I had tears come down my cheeks. My heart started vibrating, my intestines started to churn and felt like I needed to do anything else that would not be this work. I wanted to avoid my truth.
 
I sat there at my breakfast table and got REAL with myself.
 

REALITY CHECK:

Girl you are scared of your greatness.
You are fearful of your power.
 
Fear of looking a certain way.
Fear of appearing too much.
Fear of appearing cocky and self-centered.
Fear of loosing relationships in your life.
Fear of not having enough energy, time or knowledge.
 
Yes I am holding my f-cking self back.
 
That was my wake up call this morning at 10-AM.
 

Well F-CK this SH*T!

If I continue to hold back based on my fear then and ONLY then do I not deserve to have the blessings pour down on me.
 
Then and only then am I accepting failure.
 
God know’s what he is doing.
He is the Alpha and the Omega.
He is the beginning and the end.
He is everywhere and everything.
 
So this calling inside my soul is there because God put it there.
All I have to do is have faith and get into my mother f_cking alignment.
Just allow myself the GREATNESS.
Stop fearing that karma will bite me in the ass if I appear someway that I have been taught is not socially acceptable.
Stop fearing that the people I love and cherish will abandon ship when I get this boat a rockin’.
Stop fearing that I am not limitless but instead crazy.
 
At my core I know that if I want to see my crazy, well I need not look any further than my fear.
 
And what I am fearing ultimately?
I am fearing my greatness.
My limitlessness.
My desire.
My success.
My BIGNESS.
My power.
 
I am fearing my alignment with God.
Taking that leap into the unknown of alignment means that I must open up to HAVING IT ALL.
 
And who am I to believe that I can have it all?
After all, I have f-cked up so much in my life.
I am far from a perfect person.
I am no saint.
I am just a mom, just a woman, just human.
There is nothing GREAT about me.
 
Or so I have been told to believe for years from society.
 
Funny fact is that this “stuff” these sh*t beliefs have never fully been my reality.
God speaks to my heart daily.
I call in his presence daily with my gratitude prayers, with my written word, with my awareness of his messages and guidance in every breath I take.
I truly feel blessed and KNOW that God has my back.
It is ONLY when I doubt it that he seem’s to vanish from my life.
 
So why now do I hesitate?
Why now am I having issues with casting my desires out and commanding them with the spirit of Moses parting the red sea to manifest?
 
Why do I doubt?
 
FEAR.
Satan has a hold of my heart and he has his nasty nails in me. They speak to me from a place that is dark and scary.
They tell me that I will loose.
They confirm that I will be abandoned first by those I cherish, then by society, then by God himself and that I should just not step forward on this path.
 
Yes Satan is there whispering his terrifying messages in my ear.
Pressing in on what I have been told already and telling me that God will be disappointed in me if I shine to bright, because I am no body.
 
I am unimportant.
I am small.
I am not enough.
 
Fingers point to all my failures of the past.
And Satan sits there assuring me that he has my best interest at hand.
That the smartest thing to do is to cower and dim myself.
The world is not a safe place, so I must guard my heart and my light and keep it to myself.
 

WTF!!!!

Why do we listen to this sh*t?

 
Because we fear change.
Because we know the boat will rock and when we are through the transformation we will no longer be whom we were when we got started.
We fear loss of all that we have and are often willing to sacrifice all that we desire to maintain what we have.
We are often willing to sacrifice ourselves even to not loose what we feel so comfortable with in the hear and now.
 
Yes it is fear of nothing but shadow’s that stops us from living our desired life.
 
From being our full potential.

Which is LIMITLESS.

 
I say no to this fear every day.
I see it, I feel it, I witness it’s evil ways,
And I CHOOSE to keep claiming my life.
 
So f-ck off Satan.
F-ck off fear.
You have no power over me.

MY LIGHT WILL SHINE.

 
F-cking bright as hell too.
 
Embrace your light NOW!
Listen to that Call of Soul.
 
God want’s you to surrender to your blessings.
You are LIMITLESS.
If you will ONLY Believe.
 

Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

I Do Me Daily.

How do you do it, I get asked all the time.
 
People are always inquiring how can I juggle or balance being a mom of 7, running my own business, taking care of my dementia mom, doing the community events that I do, creating workshops/courses, writing and vlogging daily and still have time for anything else?
 
Like:
Dating
Sex
Travel
Play
Relaxation
TLC Moments
 
The truth is I have ton’s of time for all of it.
I get to have all of this because I have decided to claim my life.
Claim my bliss.
My Joy.
My ORGASM.
 

I CHOOSE.

I get to have all of this and people pay me with a smile on their face and excitement in their hearts because I show them how I do this daily.
 
I feed their souls.
By feeding my soul.
 
Yes. That is all I do to have all of this and keep on having it BIGGER and more of it.
I just simply do me.
 
I make no excuses as to who I am and what my desires are.
I make no excuses as my VERY human moments where f-ck up.
I allow myself to be seen, Just as is, all the f-cking time.
 
So how do I do it all?
How do I have the time, the finances, the energy?
 
How do I call it in?
 
#1 – Gratitude is the foundation of ALL that I do.
I am always offering up a prayer of gratitude to God. Even when shit seem’s to be hitting the fan, I am thanking God for it. I know that it only appears as shit because of my perspective and if I were able to see my life through heavens eye’s that it would appear much different and these challenges that our life presents to us are here with purpose. So I thank God even for the pain, the struggle, the heartache. By doing this I experience fewer down points and I consciously keep myself focused on the light at the end of any tunnel.
 
Gratitude creates a certainty that God always has your back.
 
#2 – Worthiness is KEY to success.
I am not any different than you when it comes to worthiness issues. I struggle in every moment around my worthiness. My up bringing showed me that I was most likely not worthy, society reinforced it. My actions in my youth right up to my actions of yesterday even support my lack of worthiness consistently. The ONLY difference is that I recognize all of that as ego bullshit. I have done my inner work and I continue to do my inner work DAILY to overcome and show myself that I am WORTHY. I claim my worthiness just like I claim my life. DAILY.
 
#3 – I Get Turned On.
I allow myself to get turned on, matter a fact I look for opportunities to get turned on. If nothing is presenting itself, I create it. I ask for it. I look for it. My turn on is about all of life NOT just sex. I look for ways to experience ORGASM in life and when I find that warming tingle that ignites me, I dance with it. I play with it. I eat it up and I open myself to God to be f-cked wide open. I welcome the penetration through my surrender and joy.
 
#4 – I spread my body in surrender daily so that God can worship me and I God.
There is not a day that goes by that I don’t open myself up to God so that the universe can flow through me. I write my opening in my daily journaling, I ask for the universe to carry me and I look for the opportunities that present themselves to me to achieve this. I understand the power that resides between my legs. Yes I understand the power of my sex and even in times when I want to close and shut down, I CHOOSE to open. I CHOOSE to receive orgasm. If only a small taste, I accept it and open consciously to more. I do this by putting my SEX as a priority. I allow God to worship me this way through my surrender to orgasm. The deeper I surrender, the deeper God penetrates me and the more extreme the worshiping which allows me a deeper worship with God as well. Worship in this form manifests my desires speedily because I am NOT trying to control it, I am just opening to it with a clear intent.
 
#5- Unapologetic Authenticity.
This one “should” be number one perhaps, as it is just as important as gratitude. Knowing yourself is not enough. Pretending to know yourself is far from tapping into greatness.
Being a follower will NEVER achieve the results you want.
Making excuses as to why you did this or that or are one way or another will never grant you any miracle or beauty. The ONLY way you get what you want is to unapolgetically be YOU!!!!! This means NO FOLLOWING. You can look for leadership, but you still must DO YOU 100%. Listening to society, friends, church, parents, spouse or other will only create a false you. It will only mask who you really are and encourage you to remain in the state you currently are. I learned a long time ago that BEING ME was the only way to my HAPPINESS. It has been a long journey and it is one that I walk with myself DAILY. I meet myself in every moment, with every person I come in touch with. I embrace all my aspects and have learned that the more I just let go of what I think everyone wants of me, the more everyone loves me and the happier I am. The better my message is, the deeper I can go and the greater light I can share.
 

SO how do I do it all?

How can a mom of 7 children ROCK her shit, take no excuses and live the F-CK YES! Life?
How can I go from $17k a year, bankruptcy, foreclosure and depression to a multi-six figure business, travel, ton’s of play, doing what I love and loving what I do.
Having a life that everything is just about me being me and living and getting paid F-cking Fantastic for it?
 
I just do the above.
I just follow my heart.
I let my soul lead.
I listen to my pussy you could say, if it turns me on, I do it.
If it turns me off, I don’t do it.
I have CERTAINTY that God has my back.
I count my blessings and I openly brag about them.
I keep my focus on my JOY.
 
That is what I do.
I DO ME DAILY Unapologetically.
 
What are you doing?

And as always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

Getting Naked With Myself.

You know you f-cking want it!

So why the hell don’t you take it?

 
Why the f-ck do you deny yourself it?
This is frank Friday folks and I am going to be VERY frank with you about a few things from love, sex, money, joy, blessing to just simply getting into alignment.
 
I work with beautiful people every day, they all have BIG dreams. BIG goals and crave a BIG life that is not just about survival but a life that they can feel.
 
A Life that they can enjoy.
That embraces them.
That is complex.
But comes with ease.
 
They have this idea, this concept that they were born for more.
They have this itch inside their soul that say’s that God put them here not to pay bills but to GIVE, to SHARE and to RECEIVE.
 
They have this little voice in them screaming that they are worthy if they will only allow themselves to be.
 
They have a desire, that will not be tamed.
It is a desire to be more.
To have more.
To share more.
It is a desire to become their purpose.
 
My main message of coaching to them and to you, if this at all sounds like you…
 
In order to have any of this. You MUST without a shadow of a doubt KNOW YOURSELF.
 
It is never about the HOW.
It is never about someone else needing to do something for you or change.
It is never about a niche.
It is never about the right time.
It is never about skills, or certificates.
Degree’s have nothing to do with it.
Showing up the way society is comfortable with you, has only the flip reaction for it.
Doing things the way your parents, friends or spouse want you to do/be/have -WILL NEVER get you any of it.
 
F-CK NO!!!!!!!
The ONLY, and I repeat only way you can have the F-ck YES! Life that you crave.
The only way you can have the orgasmic relationship that you want.
The only way you can have the deep connections that you desire.
The health and well-being that you want.
The overflowing abundance that you desire.
 
Is to effing know thy self.
 
Yes, this is the answer to your dreams.
When you know yourself, you are in alignment to your soul. Therefore you are in alignment to God. You open the channels for God to work through you. Suddenly your life is magical and full of blessings.
 
Luck of the Irish has nothing on you.
 
This is how you command down your blessings.
This is how you dance through life.
This is where you tap into your joy, your bliss and open to receive it.
 
You may say, “Hey, Kendal, I get it. I know myself really well. I feel totally in alignment to who I am. I just don’t understand why things are not connecting the way I want. ”
 
And my response to you is this,
If it is not connecting then you are not in alignment.
You may feel like you are in alignment, and you may very well be, here and there, but you are not maintaining it. Therefore you are wobbling and much like wobbling on a tight rope, you will fall.
 
This fall will feel like you have fallen out of favor with God. Out of blessing. You may even look for reasons as to what you did to deserve it. What sin did you commit.
 
The reality in most cases is that you are not guilty of any sin other than doubting yourself, doubting your alignment, getting caught in the how to’s and where is it coming from and there fore doubting God.
 
The doubt made you fall.
It separated you from your truth.
It made you question who you are and in that, you stopped knowing yourself.
You stopped trusting yourself.
 
So do you really know yourself?
Do you?
 
You may claim you do.
But it is time to get real.
Really f-cking REAL.
 
With the only person that matters.
YOU.
 
So what do you want?
What do you crave?
What do you desire?
 
Are you a match for it?
Are you sure?
Have you gotten into alignment?
 
Yes???????
 

Then where the F-CK is it?

Show it to me.

 
In the last 4 days I created $8,000 extra income out of no where. It just came in.
 
Do you know how this happened for me and why I am certain that more will continue to stream in without me ever trying to figure out the effing how?
 
Because I feel NO PRESSURE around it.
Matter a fact I hardly apply attention to it.
It just is.
 
SIMPLY put.
How can it not be there, when my expectation, my certainty say’s that it just is. It is just me.
Part of me.
Part of my flow.
I don’t need to question it.
If I focus to much on why or how it came about, then I am presenting the energy, the emotion and thought of not having it.
 
I am stepping out of alignment.
I am stepping away from myself, and therefore away from God.
 
I am stepping out of favor then.
Just me.
No one else.
 
And with that step I will feel the separation.
The pain.
The fear.
The depression.
The anger.
The doubt.
The anxiety.
 
That is where all those emotions come from.
Separation.
 
That is it.
 
So how do you create a life of Mother F-cking Juicy as Sh*t Abundance?
 
You just know yourself.
And KNOW you are worth it and all that you want and desire is already here with you.
 
That is it.
That is the BIG Secret.
 
So tap into you B-A-B-Y!
You deserve it.
You are it.
 
Get greedy.
And command that sh*t in.
 
If you don’t then who will?
What are you accepting in your life?
 
 

And as always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

Faith To Be F*cked Wide Open

Sadness.

Joy.

Amazement.

Surrender.

I shudder at the thought of the release.

Where will I go from here?

Whom will I become?

My heart is holding so much, I can barely withstand the sensations some days as my mind wonders and I lose myself in thought. The images of times gone past that I long to repeat. I long to hold close to me, knowing that I must let them go. They are no longer my reality. They taught me a deeper level of who I am and who I want to be, but they are no longer with me. Just like I am no longer the person I was yesterday, those realities are no longer here. Life teaches us that you can hold on to nothing. You take nothing with you.

Not into the afterlife, not into the next moment.

Not truly that is.

Sure, we can move forward with all this material stuff. We bring with us, sentimental things as we call the items that we fear to let go of, because we are scared that if we let go of the physical items that somehow our memories will part with them. We carry with us the valuables, those things that we believe that will cost us to much replace or inconvenience us somehow. In truth even these items bear with them some form of attachment to our past realities.

We hold on.

We hold on with all the strength and logic that we can muster.

We hold on with all the ego that we can pretend to ignore.

We hold on with a hope that the realities of yesterday that we loved so much and lost, will come back to us in some magical fashion.

Fearing that they will never.

Knowing that they will never.

Yet we hold on.

Orphans to our past, strangers to our future.

We feel lost in this new paradigm, where we know not what direction to turn, where we feel every choice is wrong. Stepping forward on a path that we have not ever been and that we can not see before us.

Faith.

Faith is all that we need in this time. We know this. We claim to understand it.

It is what all the saints, enlightened ones and masters have told us for thousands of years to lean on. Faith is the key to,

Overcoming our sadness,

Finding our joy,

Awakening to our amazement,

Surrendering to God.

Jesus said all we need is the faith of a mustard seed.

Mustard seeds are effing small.

Have you ever seen a mustard seed?

They are small little brown seeds, one tenth the size of a pea.

That is all the faith we need to move a mountain Jesus claimed. So how do we do this?

My mountains are here before me and they do not appear to be moving, they are steady and strong. Their paths are treacherous and carry with them many changes, much exhaustion, ravenous wolves flock on the paths and chase me, the nights are cold, and the cliffs are steep. The crest that I long to reach is so far before me I cannot not see it.

I cannot picture it.

My map is smudged.

It is written in a language I cannot speak.

I am lost.

I cannot be lost though.

God is guiding me.

This is the pilgrimage of my soul.

The discovery of the me I have longed to meet so many lifetimes ago. Here I am.

Finally, I am meeting me.

I am meeting my soul.

My faith.

Faith of a mustard seed, but faith still. Just like Jesus said, it is all we need. And so that is what I will lean on. The trust that my faith is strong enough to conquer this mountain. Faith enough to meet myself on this pilgrimage and not run from my shadows, not run from my desires, not run from my heart but instead embrace myself.

I need embraced.

My arms are open wide.

My body is ready to receive.

To be penetrated and made love too.

I am ready to surrender.

Here I am in the arms of faith, waiting to be carried on the path,

I long to be carried to my highest point, where I touch the clouds, see the sun beams dancing on snow covered tips of mountains around me. I desire to feel the crisp cool air of a new life that awaits. To breathe it in and allow it to fill me.

Restore me.

Recover my soul.

Faith.

All we need is a little faith.

Faith in me.

Faith in God.

Faith in these shaky leg’s that they will carry me.

Tears may stream down my cheeks, my heart may race, my hand tremble,

Deep down I feel the presence that I crave.

I feel the presence of a Great lover,

It is no lover like I have ever experienced,

It is not a connection of two bodies,

It is not material, physical or superficial.

It is the penetration of my soul.

It is the lover who has always carried me over the thresholds of my existence.

Lifetime after lifetime, this lover is with me.

This lover never leaves me.

This lover is forever f*cking me wide open,

Deeper, softer, harder, longer.

This lover knows me inside and out and devours me.

Drinks in my orgasm as his own.

The rapture he offers me is more than I can share in words.

It is more than my physical body can take in.

It is bliss.

Yes, faith.

All we need is the faith of a mustard seed.

And we can open to a level of our soul,

Revealed in the arms of the greatest lover of our lives.

We can drop our guards and we can surrender.

Here, here is our life.

Our true life.

Sadness.

Joy.

Amazement.

Surrender.

I shudder at the thought of the release.

Where will I go from here?

Whom will I become?

 

 

It is up to me whom I become.

With every breath I breathe me in a little more.

With every stroke of my great lover, I feel me a little bit more.

With every, gaze into the greatness of this life, I see my life unfold.

And I smile.

I smile at the mystery,

At the joy,

At the lessons,

At the tears,

At the rapture.

Open.

Trusting and full of faith.

I am no longer being carried,

I am flying.

Wings open wide.

And you can too.

 

Remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

www.kendalwilliams.com

Are You A Fuck Yes to Your Full Potential?

“The ONLY place you need to be – is in your magic zone. We all have a magic zone. We all use our zone. All the time. The trick is being conscious to what we are creating and making sure that our magic zone is being used for all the bliss, joy, play and abundance it was intended instead of the suffering, fear, destruction and chaos so many of us choose to use it for. — What are you creating?” – KW

fuckyeah

Be Your Full Potential This Coming Year!

Here we sit yet once again at the end of one year and the ushering into another. You would think that the whole world would be truly celebrating that we as a world society get to move forward into the next arena of life on this planet. You would think that each and every soul on this planet including yourself would be ecstatic with joy and hope for the new year and all it has to offer. After all new years is all about getting a fresh start. Having learned what we needed from the past year we can now move forward with an excitement and expectation of greatness. However it is more common for for us to be experiencing pain, suffering, fear, anger, remorse and almost a desire for this time to not move forward but to somehow reset to the beginning of the current year so that we can travel through it with 20/20 vision and make different choices, see things differently, and act differently.

For more than 80%of the population we may have a desire to make this new year one of all our dreams coming true, or at very least sticking to most of our goals and making some positive life changes so that we can feel accomplished at the end of the day and year. We desire that the feelings we are having and trying to ignore through too much alcohol, food, partying and random excessive entertainment with games and television, we desire not to ignore these feelings but to simply NOT have them to begin with. Therefore we desire CHANGE. Transformation.

There are so many people in my life that I know are experiencing these sensations. I have seen people go through divorce this years end, have been served papers for it or finished a long process with it. Many uncertain as to the standings of their relationship status. I have seen many people loose their jobs, their homes, cars. Not have enough food on their tables for nightly dinner. There are many who I know who are dealing with death this season in one way or another and even some that have been diagnosed with a terminal illness and find themselves feeling like they NOW don’t have the time to give and share all that they thought they were going to be able too. I have seen people question their purpose all year long. I have seen people try and make their purpose their relationship. I have seen people dig and get mad to the point of quitting because they have no clue what to do with what is surfacing and they have no idea how the things coming up serve them healing what they had originally set out to work on.

I have also seen many people discover love. Purpose. Direction.

Everything that I have seen has NOTHING to do with what we choose to typically focus on at this time of the year. That being how many presents we got or gave, or the deal we got or even the president of the USA. None of the things that truly matter are the things that our media or lifestyles has us focusing on.

The things that matter are REALLY SIMPLE.

The bottom line for every human being is the same.

We ALL WANT HAPPINESS.

Everything that we do is an attempt to achieve this sensation.

We change or stay in a relationship because we hope it will make us happy.

We keep a job or strive for a new one because we hope it will lead to happiness.

We exercise and change what our diets are to loose weight or firm up our bodies, not because we truly care what we look like, but because we are hoping that the look and feeling of our bodies will make us happy in some way.

We learn new things to bring more joy into our lives. Weather that is through experience or money.

We offer our helping hand not because we truly believe that it is needed, wanted or should happen (although we convince ourselves of this) but because we hope that in our pursuit to be a “good person” that we will be happier.

EVERYTHING – everything, that we do is about OUR happiness.

So why is it so damn fucking hard to actually do the things that will truly make us happy and give us ever lasting change and the creation of our FUCK YES LIFE?

Why do we choose to find excuses as to not do the things and get the help that we need in life to make the life that we desire?

You know it is said that if you desire something, that the thing desires you as well. In other words, the things we crave at our soul level are calling to us and asking us to do the things that we need to do to grow ourselves and create the consciousness required to connect to our desires.

Each and everyone of us has a the same ability to make the choices that we need to make for ourselves to create the life that we want for this coming New Year.

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The only real question’s you need to ask yourself are these:

What are your top 1-3 areas of change/transformation that you know you need or want to work on in this new year?
What is the long term impact of not making these changes?
If things stay the same what does it mean to you and what does it look like?
What is different NOW compared to 6 months, a year ago, five years ago?
What is your commitment level to yourself to make these changes?

What is the ONE thing you need to do in life to die happy?

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Make this year a year of your full potential.

You deserve your greatness to be revealed.

It is truly fucking time to STOP playing small!

Our world needs YOU!

I can tell you that the world needs more men, women, couple’s turned on, vibrant, living on purpose and by their desires.

The world needs people who are transforming the world through their passion for life. This is ONLY done through opening up NOT to more work – but more PLAY.

More PLEASURE.

The ONLY secret you ever need learn to have the life that you know you deserve and desire is the lesson to ALLOW YOUR OWN PLEASURE.

We have had our ability to receive pleasure in all forms taught right out of us. Our world is so focused on living by scarcity and taunt economics. No great thing every happened without allowing for some deliberate slack. In the slack we prevent the hyperactivity of our minds, energy and drive. In hyperactivity we loose fun, pleasure and joy. Everything becomes work and we cannot breathe or flow.

When we embrace that “slack” equals room to change. Room to grow. To create. We then open the doorway to the creation of our desires.

We gain compassion, understanding, direction.

There most certainly is an art to living in your bliss. But it is a most delicious process. And for those of us who choose to transform our lives and therefore the lives of all on this planet through pleasure, play and happiness we KNOW that it is a venture well worth moving into.

But it requires Your ALL.

Are you ready to make this a year of your full potential?
Are your ready t o have the Fuck YES Life you deserve?
Are you ready to live out the year having the relationships, the sex, the money, the career, the travel, the health that you want?

This and MORE is possible.

Take my hand and take the plunge into your GREATNESS!

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Email me about being in the Pre-launch group for my New Fuck Yes to Life Coaching – and discover the top 10 focuses you need to play with to have the life you desire in 2017!!! DON’T Wait. The Pre- launch pricing will only be offered to the first 50 people who si

The sexual performance anxiety epidemic

While there may not be a verifiable “epidemic” of performance anxiety, many people are unhappy in their sexual lives because they worry that they are not doing it right. They feel inadequate and unsure of themselves, and somehow sex isn’t so much fun anymore. (note: we’re speaking here primarily of heterosexual sexuality, though the basic approach also applies to same-sex lovemaking)

In fact, while worrying about whether your sexual performance is satisfactory, meeting up with your lover for sex can come to seem like just another household chore, or perhaps some kind of final exam, which you could flunk!

This pervasive sense of doubt about your sexual performance has a further insidious effect: it makes your performance worse. When you are worrying about how you are doing, you’re not in the moment. You’re not enjoying your partner’s touch or the pleasures of touching him or her. The thoughts are whirring around in your head: will I keep my erection? Can I get turned on enough for him? Am I moving OK? What is he thinking about my body (OMG I’m fat)? Can I make him (her) come?

These thoughts are highly distressing, and distract you from the pleasures of the moment. Just a reminder: sex is (supposed to be) fun and pleasurable. Making love should be much more like play than work.Being a great lover does not depend upon hitting some kind of performance targets.

Part of what makes this so difficult is our cultural myopia about sexuality and making love. We partake of these cultural notions through osmosis, from media depictions of sexuality, overheard conversations and adolescent fantasies. Unfortunately, much of it is not accurate!

These cultural assumptions are simplistic, condensing the rich tapestry of adult sexual possibility to a few bullet points:

  • Sex equals  penis-in-vagina intercourse;
  • This necessarily requires an erection for the male, and automatic lubrication for the female; and
  • It doesn’t really count unless both partners experience an orgasm.

Note that each of these steps indicates an expectation for the targeted behavior: this is where performance anxiety begins. What if I can’t have sex because of pain? What if I can’t keep an erection? What if I can’t make my partner have an orgasm? What if I don’t have an orgasm?

This is a tangled web. These expectations lead to worry about performance, which degrades performance and stifles enjoyment, resulting in unhappy lovers who don’t feel good about themselves.

There’s a better way to find satisfying, enjoyable and exciting sex with your Beloved. It begins with an honest acknowledgement that things aren’t going well, and a strong affirmation that you want to work together to create a more satisfying sexual relationship.

Since these cultural expectations about sex have contributed to the performance anxiety, you’re going to need a new framework so you can explore and express your sexual desires together without going to the anxious place.

Rather than stress about whether you are achieving the “milestones” of erection/lubrication, intercourse and orgasm it changes everything if you limit your focus to the giving and receiving of pleasure. Pleasure is a sensory experience, denoted by sensations of deliciousness in taste; good feelings in the nerve endings that sense pleasurable touch; the sweetness of special smells; the experience of harmony or melodiousness in sounds; the perception of visual beauty.

Pleasure is what making love is about.

You don’t have to think about whether a particular sensation is pleasurable or not – you know it, in the bodily experience of a favorite food, sensual touch, a beloved song, an encounter with beauty. So it’s simply a matter of trusting your perceptions. If it feels good, it’s pleasurable. Our bodies are set up to perceive pleasure, with millions of specialized nerve endings devoted to this mission.

Making love consists primarily of giving and receiving pleasure – through word and gesture, through sound and sight and taste and touch. When you let go of the performance hurdles and deadlines and relax into playing together with pleasure, it is easy to relax into the moments which blur into timelessness.

But wait! What about orgasm/intercourse/getting off! I don’t want to miss anything!

Arousal, desire and direct sexual stimulation which may lead to the explosive pleasure of orgasm – all can be yours easily and directly, through this relaxed approach. Rather than straining to try to achieve orgasm, holding your breath and tensing all your muscles to try to make it happen, why not relax and allow your body to experience the natural progression of pleasure?

It takes practice to let go of a habitual anxious approach to sex. The desire for a quick fix is just another expression of performance anxiety, just another deadline you’re not going to make.

Optimal sexual experience occurs when partners care for each other, communicate about what they are doing together, and when they are relaxed. Relaxation is the foundation of healthy sex. Give yourself and your partner the gift of relaxing as you make love. Allow yourself to simply pay attention to and luxuriate in the pleasurable sensations you are experiencing, without attempting to go anywhere. Let delight wash over you; play with your partner, gently pleasuring him or her. Be curious and playful as you explore the erotic playground of your loving connection.

READ MORE Articles from David Yarian at Joy of Making Love

Pleasure Psychotherapy

I met a pleasure based psychotherapist recently. When Janov’s Primal Therapy came along I seem to recall that he said that a therapist was a dealer in pain. So is therapy about pleasure or pain and trauma?

Nobody would go to a therapist to talk about how happy they were or what a great childhood they had; but it is one of the more interesting questions in therapy the extent to which we have to go in to past pain and trauma to clear it out. In our culture we have the “no pain, no gain” school of development. A deeply Puritan culture like the British is very suspicious of happiness. I can lead straight in to the arms of The Devil. In most therapies, both humanistic and analytic happiness could well be covering something up; even a manic defence against deep sadness. Of course this can be true but it is also true that many defences, particularly somatic ones, tend to block access to all deep emotions; pain as well as joy.  This is simply because all strong emotions and body sensations are close together in their emotional anatomy and neurology. On a fairground roller-coaster the riders play with the edge between fear and excitement; screaming with fear as the car descends and then cuing up for another go! A father playing with a young child may throw them up in the air and catch them giving squeals of joy, excitement, fear overcome by return to safety. Deep sobbing and deep belly laughter are quite similar to observe from the outside. In the intense autonomic activation of orgasm, pleasure and crying can come together. Those in to BDSM are experts on the edge between pleasure and pain and how both can lead to altered states of consciousness.

Many therapies are very interested in trauma; particularly if that term is extended from single incident events such as an accident, or act of abuse or death of someone to include developmental trauma such as having a depressed mother when there would be many occasions when the required empathic attunement and care-giving weren’t there. In the past going into the pain was seen as the only way. Now with modern energy psychology methods such as AIT(www.aitherapy.org) that I practice this is known not to be necessary. Just naming the trauma and finding the location in the body is often enough to clear it.

So as we block pleasure and pain, when a client comes in for a session reporting that they feel good. Unless I am very suspicious of this, I will only want to move feeling good to feeling fantastic. There has been more attention recently to positive psychology and to the concept of Flow,  (from Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi);  a state of being where we are not divided and distracted but fully engaged in life at that moment.

So while I will try as a therapist to stay fairly divided in my attention between pain and pleasure. I have a growing sense that working with pleasure and how to expand it and deepen it within our bodies and our neurology is a powerful way forward. This forms a large part of my book Tantric Psychotherapy that I am working on at the moment (see www.tantricpsychotherapy.com )

Martin is London based psychotherapist 

READ More from Martin HERE

BIO:

I have worked for nearly 30 years a psychotherapist and counsellor and supervisor. In private practice and in training courses, for a university and now for the police.

The Power of Tantra, not just for the bedroom!

“The most important thing is this: to be willing at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we can become.” — Charles Du Bois

Any of us who have viewed the movie The Secret, read or studied A Course in Miracle’s or have done any amount of self-improvement may it have been in Technology of Kabbalah, NLP, Landmark or good ol’ Amway, are familiar with the concept that we need to let the old leaves of our old selves and lives shed so that we can bloom into a new reality of self and manifest the life that we are desiring. No matter the course we choose to birth this transformation, one thing is evident — one aspect of our life (self) must die in order to give birth to the desired life (self). But how do we do this? And more at question here is how does something such as tantra assist us on this mission?

What is Tantra?

(the basics)

Tantra is about the expansion of  human consciousness. Just today I was listening to Sasha Cobra one of my favorite teachers and she was sharing the power of  releasing traumas from the physical body. Even if you are someone who has not experienced a “significant” trauma (i.e. rape, sexual abuse, beatings, deaths of loved ones, etc.) you may have blocked energies and traumas from childhood programming (an over religious family, controlling, etc) or grown up where stability was at question, even past life traumas come into play and block our energies in current bodies. Tantra expands our consciousness through exercises, breath-work and bodywork by releasing these traumas, which completely change our thought process once they have been let go of.  This then helps us to connect to our Divine State of True Being.

It takes great courage to set foot down the healing path of Tantra as it does any healing path. In order to access the holistic aspects of Tantra one  needs to be willing to be “Naked in Every Way.” Meaning that we are willing to bring our souls as well as our bodies to a sharing of the depths of all the levels of our personalities. Physical, emotional, mental, energetic and soul levels.  This is how we can achieve divine presence or union with the creator, the universe itself. Tantra is an ancient sacred practice that is laced throughout many world cultures that teaches us how to achieve this divine presence.

However, it is only accessible when certain things are in place for the healing to happen so that the union will manifest.

Safety – Vitally important that each party feels safe and supported in the environment. Proper boundary setting is a must in ALL relationships. When entering into any sacred holistic healing all parties need to feel safe and be able to establish what they are comfortable with and what their expectations may be for the events to follow. These boundaries MUST ALWAYS be respected so that healing may happen.

Responsibility – You and your teacher, partner must be responsible for your own beliefs, decisions and consciousness. Simply put, be responsible for the energy that you bring to the event. May it be a yoga, breath-work or energy based session or a tantric date night with your lover, be responsible for your energy, thoughts, actions and emotions.

Communication – One has to be willing to express their own needs in anyway that they can. Through words, sounds, or gestures. A tantric experience will help those who do not know how to lovingly communicate their needs to be able to, but participants on both sides must be willing to listen to and express when encouraged either by their teacher/partner or by their inner voice.

Trust and Surrender– Tantra is about loving, living and being. The above areas are there mainly to assist with helping the participants in the most important area of all, trust and surrender. Our society teaches us that we should not trust or surrender yet the only way to fully embrace bliss and the divine, which will expand our consciousness and weave together all aspects of our physical experience and souls manifest, is to trust and to surrender.  Often what is not thought of is that the trust that we must heal and learn to embrace is not that of trusting everyone on our life path but of trusting ourselves and our ability to make healthy decisions for ourselves. If we have a partner in life then it is vital to be able to express ourselves and trust them as well. With trust comes surrender. The power one can experience with deep vulnerability and surrender is ‘Awh’ striking. To be able to express our needs, our pains, and our hearts and know that we will be accepted, loved and supported is part of any healing tantric path.

What tantra is not.

When I was asked this question recently by Dr. Michael Harris for a Blog Talk radio show “Is your love life FAST FOOD or GOURMET?” I instantly found myself examining the world and every aspect of life. Where is Tantra not? Would be a better question, however the point of the question is to assist in clearing up the ill use of this sacred holistic art. Tantra has gotten a lot of negative media recently and most of this is caused because of our societies Puritan heritage which even though we don’t want to admit it still shapes our social morals and ideas/thinking in many ways.

Tantra is not solely about sex. Recently there has been much talk about tantric sacred sites and much of what has been revealed is untrue of the consciousness of what was and is happening around the world at these places. Tantra encompasses all of life. It is about weaving all aspects of our life experiences together into bliss and thus increasing our vibration so that we come closer to that Christ- Consciousness or Divine Being (union with God or the Higher Self). Let me give you some items to ponder that are all very tantric living based, meaning that when experiencing life from a state of bliss, a healed body, mind and soul, that are communicating properly one might be able to experience. (real world scenarios too)

  • Imagine if you could be sitting in a board meeting and feeling a level of bliss that you experience when you are with your lover? Would that not be nice?
  • What if you could go to your child’s soccer game and be fully present with no worries of the work day to come, the proposal that needs to be finished, the house chores or bills? You were just there feeling, experiencing your child’s game. How would this affect your life and the life of your loved ones?
  • Imagine that in times of what seems to be chaos you actually could breathe deeply and not react in a nervous, stressful way, but instead approach the situation, no matter what it was with love and a higher level of seeing what was happening?
  • What if the one individual who you have the most bitterness toward you started seeing through loves eyes? Would these scenarios change your current reality into something more pleasurable?

Tantra awakens us to this reality. Sex is used often in tantric teachings to help heighten vibrational levels, heal traumas, unite souls, and teach about bliss, communication, love and presence among many other things. Sacred work is holistic based. No matter what path a practitioner or teacher chooses to assist their clients in achieving a reality of bliss verses chaos, it is all designed according to the gifts of the teachers and the needs and agreement that they have discussed with their clients.

When working with couple’s tantra does indeed go to the depth of full union often(for the client couple). Often, this is not in a first session unless each of the partners has been doing solo work and coaching outside of the union session. Most of the couple’s sessions that I do, for example, are focused on establishing healthy communication, soul appreciation, and breath work, basic tantric massage to assist in love making and in helping the partners heal each other through the body of the emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wounds of the past.  I also teach basic quantum core energtix , which focuses on the energy centers and aura field. Clear blockages and softening the kundalini so that it might uncoil in a healthy manner.

 (It’s important to make known that one does not have to have an active partner or any partner at all to practice tantra or work with a teacher/practitioner or sex coach. That would be like saying you have to be married to go to church and read the bible. Tantra is like any other spiritual practice it is about YOU and YOU alone. Through the union of all aspects of yourself you further open to love and others. Personally I offer, individual goddess sessions, extraordinary gentlemen sessions, couples sessions, programs for all and sex and life coaching (in person and on the phone) as well many bio-energetics based sessions to assist in clearing energy and harmonizing the chakras.)

Through the practice of Tantra which is a spiritual science that makes use of the magical powers of our sexual energy one can experience a holistic healing of Mind, Body, and Soul that traditional medicine is blind too. It has been my personal tale and that of many of my friends, lovers, family and clients that Tantra in its paradox’s and social Taboos is perhaps one of the most powerful transformation tools known to humankind.

Listen to the October 22, 2012 BlogTalk radio Show

“Is your love life FAST FOOD or GOURMET?”