Life, Death and Authentically Being You.

Life, Death and Being Authentically YOU.
 
The last two weeks of my life have been a roller coaster of life changes. Some have a direct impact on my world, some not so much but do because they effect my children or my extended family.
 
Two weeks ago my eldest daughter gave birth to her little boy.
 
Last week, my youngest two son’s grandfather passed away.
 
And today,
Today I sit and desire nothing more than to just continue being authentically me.
 
I look at the changes, the life, the death and I know it is all beautiful. But there is this sense that I get that I am expected to be more emotional about things then what I really am. As though I am not putting on a grand enough show for my world.
 
Silly as that may sound, it does come in to me from outside sources and these little obnoxious voices that sound off in my head here and there that want me to focus on things that really have no significant impact on my life joy or happiness or fear for that matter.
 
Since the birth of my grandson two weeks ago I have been hit with the question, ” How does it feel to be old enough to be a grandma?”
 
And “Wow! Top of the totem pole. Enjoy him while you have the energy.”
 
It is like because I am a grandmother now,
even though there is the blessing of this sweet baby in my life that society believes that life is all down hill when this milestone happens. That you are almost around the corner from the grave.
 
And then,
last week my kids grandfather passes away unexpectedly from heart failure.
 
The thing society worries about.
DEATH.
Croaking.
 
And as a grandparent one must add this fear to the daily worry list I assume….
 
I think NOT!
 
But if we did not fear death enough as it is,
such events as a birth and then a death can bounce it around a tad more than normal.
 
It is my opinion that the reason we fear death so much is because we do not believe in who we really are. We give lip service to this thing called SOUL or SPIRIT and to the desire to believe in something greater than ourselves such as source, divine or God. But when we really get into it,
when we are faced with it, we question our belief and we find ourselves in a negative vibe of “hope.”
 
Now many believe that hope is a positive.
I not so much so.
 
To me hope is a negative word,
with negative energy attachments.
It is disempowering.
 
Just feel these statement-
 
” I hope I get a new job.”
” I hope I overcome this illness.”
” I hope she graduates school.”
“I hope nothing bad has happened.”
 
verses
 
“I know that the perfect job for me is around the corner.”
“I know I just need to support my body and take some time for me.”
“I know she is working hard to achieve her goals.”
“I know that things always work out for everyone’s highest and best good.”
 
Which side of the fence feels better to you?
Which side feels stronger?
More powerful?
More like it is focusing good vibes toward something vs. negative vibes?
 
 
We do this in so many ways.
Bring ourselves down.
Bring others down ( often without realizing the power of our words)
and focusing in on the negative all the while BELIEVING we are giving our best wishes or highest vibrational thoughts and focus.
 
But it ain’t true.
 
If we really believed we had a SOUL.
If we really believed that there was a God or something greater than self and it has a plan,
then we would only desire to live our life to the fullest and that has nothing to do with living in fear of death.
 
Fearing death disables us from being present in our life.
It has us act from a place of scarcity.
A place of disembodiment.
We tap out and try and hide from life.
All in the pursuit to live longer.
To not feel pain.
To not suffer.
To not have bad things happen.
 
But this is sheer craziness.
These suppose bad things are here to help us clarify what we want in life and from life.
 
These “bad” things help us discover who we are, want to be and they are blessings.
 
Not all blessings come in pretty little boxes.
Not all are sweet and sugar topped.
 
Without the contrast we never truly authentically get a chance to meet who we are.
 
Avoiding the contrast is for the weak.
It is for those who believe that they can somehow outsmart death.
They think that death is an ending.
When what if….
Croaking just was another step on our life path for our soul?
 
But hoping for survival in our current state of experience is silly.
What one can do,
is COMMIT to LIVING presently.
To loving this moment.
To expanding into their fullest potential and giving this amazing world their VERY BEST.
 
You will never achieve that,
living in FEAR.
You will never have that presence if you are trying to avoid death.
But you will miss out on all your BLESSINGS.
No matter how you perceive them.
 
And the even worse part is that you will never taste the raptures of your AUTHENTIC SELF.
 
You are beautiful.
You are powerful.
You are amazing.
You have so much to give this world.
 
Don’t let fear and worry of what you cannot avoid,
what you have no control over hide your light any longer love.
 
It is time for you to step up.
Claim Your Life.
And Stop Existing & Start Living
 
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Are you ready to commit to your SOUL?
Desiring something more in your life?
 
If you are someone who looks in the mirror every day and knows that you have so much more to offer this world, but feels stuck in how to go about revealing it, then perhaps we should speak.
 
If you feel a call in your gut and you know you need to just get the tools and find the support to step the eff up in your life once and for all and let your light shine in…
relationship.
work.
purpose.
 

Don’t Get Pissed About Being Treated Like A Dog If Your Acting Liking A Puppy.

Don’t Get Pissed About Being Treated Like A Dog If Your Acting Liking A Puppy.
 
We all know people like this.
And in many cases we have all been puppy dogs at some point in our lives.
 
I know I sure have.
Years back, when I was in my teens and early 20’s I was for a sure a puppy dog in some instances.
I felt horribly insecure.
I felt like I was stupid and silly.
I felt like I was not worthy of anything in my life and that I NEEDED approval.
I NEEDED a pat on the head telling me that I was doing good.
That I was seen.
That I was loved.
 
I wanted the pat on my head so badly that I ran behind foot of my friends, my teachers and even my husband.
 
I recall him telling me how insecure I appeared.
He pointed out my pigeon toed stance.
He pointed out my slouching shoulders.
My inability to make let alone keep eye contact.
My fear to go out and be too social.
I clung to his arm like a lost little girl.
I feared being seen for who I was because I did not know who I was and I was scared that who I was was not good enough for this world.
Or for him.
I could not understand why he loved me.
Wanted to be with me.
And why he said he was not worthy of me.
 
This then.
This was a Kendal that was scared of her life.
Scared of her choices.
Scared of her own shadow.
 
Perhaps hard to believe.
But still true.
 
Even though I made my whole existence about my husband and family,
Even though I begged for approval,
begged for that pat on the head like a good puppy.
 
I was irritate when he treated me like a child.
When he scolded me.
When he fathered me.
When he would basically pat his knees and say, “Come here puppy. Aren’t you a sweet girl.”
 
Granted he never actually did this, but it was an energy that was passed between us.
It was him trying to reassure me that I was doing good,
asking for what he wanted, expecting to get it, without realizing guilting me in different ways, and treating me the way you would your pet.
 
I felt often like I was a trophy.
Not a human.
Not a woman.
Not his wife.
But an object.
 
The sick thing is that I asked for this treatment.
I encouraged it even.
 
It was the way I believed I could feel loved.
I was lost and uncertain.
I had no clue who I was and therefore I needed him to tell me who I was and to pat me on the back for being what he said.
 
I wanted to know I was doing good.
Making him happy in my efforts to be what he needed/wanted.
 
But I hated the belittling feeling that came with it.
I hated how I felt inside.
I hated not really being me.
But being something for someone else.
 
SO I bitched about being treated like this,
NEVER realizing until years later that I had done it all to myself.
 
Crazy huh?
 
The thing that I figured out about 10 years into this experience was that I always knew who I was.
 
I was just afraid to express myself.
I was just afraid that if I allowed myself to be seen that I would scare off people in my life that I currently had and I did not want to loose.
So instead of being me,
I hid me from the world and myself,
until I could no longer cope with the pain.
 
My physical body decided one day that I was going to STOP the insanity of hiding from myself or I would be in physical pain.
 
I developed Chrones.
 
Let me tell you, Chrones is not a fun dis-ease.
I spent a few years in horrible pain,
struggling to figure out how to naturally heal myself,
struggling to gain my stamina back for life,
I lived a fatigued existence,
where I started to question if I wanted to go on.
Thank goodness for my babies.
They have always been my reason for everything.
My joy.
But the pain of living with Chrones,
the uncertainty of what it would lead too.
The unstableness of my body EVERYDAY.
I felt like a prisoner in my own flesh.
 
I tried everything to heal myself.
And at the end of it all, I sat there hopeless.
Here I was in my early thirties.
Mom of five.
The prime of my life.
And I was feeling dead.
 
Lost.
Dead.
Hopeless.
Sick.
 
I felt ugly in every sense of the word.
 
But here, here is where God came in.
I knew there was something I was missing.
And one day I ended up at a church event,
it was a book release for a female author that my church was hosting. I went to the talk and listened to this woman share her story.
 
She shared her drama of finding herself.
She shared her trials and tribulations.
She shared that she realized that after the blessing of motherhood that God was offering her the most prize of all possessions.
The most joyous experience of anything.
 
And that was the birthing of herself.
 
This was what I was needing to hear.
Needing to accept.
 
This pain that I was feeling.
This struggle that I was in with my body.
With my mind, my heart, my soul.
 
It was JUST THIS.
 
I was BIRTHING MYSELF.
 
My soul was COMMANDING ME to stop being a puppy dog to others and to start being my own WOMAN.
 
My soul wanted me to CLAIM MY LIFE.
Wanted me to STOP trying to always please others,
stop looking for approval,
but instead give myself approval.
 
The more I stepped into my
POWER,
my STRENGTH,
my TRUTH,
and just allowed myself to be revealed no matter what that meant. No matter if that meant I was going to loose people in my life or not, the quicker my body healed.
The more I embraced myself, the more my SOUL acknowledged me by healing my physical body.
 
Such gratitude I hold for the woman who spoke that day at that event.
 
She made me aware of the bitch I was being.
She made me aware that my neediness was killing me.
She made me aware that I was better than what I had accepted for myself.
And she made me aware that the pain I was experiencing was an opportunity to connect,
to myself.
to God.
To my truth.
 
It was a birthing process.
 
So throw yourself a bone today.
Look at your life,
and see where you may be guilty of being a puppy dog.
Look and see how you are holding yourself back by begging like a hungry dog,
and instead of begging,
FEED YOURSELF.
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

The New Human Lesson on Risk, Fear and Having It All.

I am often so captured by fear, I cannot move forward.

 
There are so many time’s in life where I find myself just pausing, procrastinating and what is without a doubt stuck in FEAR. Some of these instances are actually silly, other’s are understandable. Some I cannot avoid the event sand steps that I most certainly will be taking while yet, other’s I just ignore and act like they are not even there.
 
It’s funny as I write this I come back to the feeling of being pregnant.
 
Not just pregnant but due any day.
Then I slip into the thought of the moments after my water has broken and there is NO TURNING BACK. Once that water breaks your just a few short moments maybe 30 minutes away from contractions happening for real.
 
The clock start ticking on reality.
You realize that your going to have a baby.
And in order to birth this child that there WILL be pain, blood, sweat and tears.
There will be terror going through your veins.
There will be uncertainty mixed with excitement.
 
In this MOMENT you realize, well sh*t, I am stuck now.
Now I have to move through this birth, this transformation and just go with it.
 
Funny thing, I always tried to control it for the first portion of the labor process. Always, trying to act calm, cool and collected, like I had everything in order was superwomen.
 
And the interesting thing was that for the most part I did.
I was.
 
But there were moments in this that I felt great pain,
tears wanted to stream down my face and few choice words wanted to escape my lips.
 
It was NEVER as bad as i thought it was going to be though.
It was NEVER as severe as I had painted in my head those few short moments after my water broke or event the days leading up to that.
 
I often thought, it was going to steal my sanity,
make me look weak.
I often thought that I would not be strong enough to handle the process,
that I was for sure going to fall apart,
and my true self,
that self that I wanted no one to see,
would appear ,
and disappoint everyone,
including me.
 
But the moments came, and the labor built.

My body slowly let go of it’s need to control and prove itself and just accepted it’s GREATNESS.

 
My mind released it’s fear,
perhaps it was the rush of adrenaline,
perhaps it was the faith that God had my back.
Perhaps, I was actually as STRONG as I thought I was story I was trying to tell.
 
Who know’s.
 

What I do know is that I ALWAYS made it through.

I ALWAYS did it naturally.
I ALWAYS did it in GRACE.

I ALWAYS pushed through (pun intended).

 

And at the day, I got to meet a beautiful new little human.

And more importantly, they had introduced me to my SOUL.

 
My COURAGE.
My STRENGTH.
My POWER.
 
This new little human got me to meet myself at a new and more intimate place than before.
 
Experiencing this 7 time’s in my life I can tell you from experience and my heart that there is no difference between giving birth to a new little human being than there is to giving birth to your DREAMS.
 
I feel ALL the same fears, concerns, doubts and pains when I increase my coaching rates as I did when I gave birth.
 
I feel all the same things internally emotionally, when I step up to a new level of who I want to become and have to act on it.
 
I feel all the same things when I decide that I am NOT TURNING BACK from my mission, my calling, my purpose.
 
I feel all the same things when I COMMIT to doing more, BEING more, HAVING more.
 
I feel all the same things when I CLAIM MY LIFE as I did when I was Claiming the life of my new little human.
 
A long time ago a friend looked at me and said, ” Kendal, you are not afraid of anything, I wish I was more like you.”
 

OMFG!

Did she just say that?
 
I responded with, “What? I am afraid of everything, ALL the time.”
 
This was my epiphany.
 
So often fear STOP’s us from our dreams.
Stop’s us from birthing the life that we were born to live.
 
Even though, I was always afraid.
Uncertain.
and scared out of ever lovin’ mind,
 
I ALWAYS was COMMITTED to my SOUL.
I was always willing to step off that cliff and see where it my take me.
I was willing to fall so that I could learn how to get back up.
I was willing to look like a fool if it meant that I would grow.
I was willing to RISK.
 
I always understood that just living meant that we RISK.
And in that we were born to explore,
to discover,
to uncover,
to tap in
and get turned on,
to our hearts desires.
 

We were built to RISK.

And without that RISK, all we ever would be doing was to LIE TO OURSELVES and avoid our DREAMS.
 
Without discomfort, risk and fear.
We become NOTHING in a hurry.
We loose ourselves and our lives.
 
And thus we risk not just a ding to our ego,
but we RISK EVERYTHING.
 
Thank goodness for the little human’s that have guided me to feeling into this space and keeping it real with me every day.
 
Thank goodness that that I was willing to see the lesson,
and actually get it.
 
I want to share this lesson with YOU.
Because whether you have a little human you brought into this world or not is sorta beside the point now.
 

The point is, that YOU were BORN for GREATNESS.

You were meant to have more.
You were meant to STAND OUT.
You were meant to RISK.
 
That is what every BREATH is trying to tell you.
 

So WAKE THE F*CK UP!

 

And Remember to Stop Existing & Start Living.

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

 

Naturally Expressed

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It has been two weeks since the last Naked Musing  and I am sure that some are wondering what the news is with me. As you can see from the banner photo chosen for this week and the one to the left, sweet little Gabriel Jon has made his arrival. (You may view the whole album HERE  He was born on May 31st @ 10:05PM and was 9 lbs. 5 oz..  21 inches long. It was a beautiful labour and birth. I must admit that out of my six births that his was INCREDIBLE. It was the first time that I got to experience birth from a point of 100% natural. No medications, no inducing, no nothing that the Creator did not intend. I also was blessed to have a water-birth at the Allen Birthing Center and was able to enjoy this miracle event with my partner and my three daughters. Such a powerful, healing and heart shattering moment in life.

After the labour in following days, many discussions between my girls and I came up. The education and deep connection between our female soul journeys was brought to a high point in the birth of their little brother. It allowed for me to share a part of our human existence with them that many young people NEVER get a first hands account of. Yes, we are shown movies in health class, told what such events are like and see Hollywood’s depiction in movies but nothing can ever make up for what the real event is like. The energy in the room as a little being is being birthed and taking his/her first breath of life outside the womb is incomparable to anything else. The incredible heightened energy between mother and father as they connect and keep focus throughout contractions and the sounds that clear through our throat chakra as women as we work with nature and our bodies brings us to a state of awe. As one of my daughters said, “Mom, you did not scream or do anything like the movies show. It sounded more like an orgasmic moan with each of your contractions.” And this is true for my experience. There were moments in the end of labour where I would say I entered the state of Satori even.

A few months ago I wrote a Naked Musing titled Orgasmic Womb-man Hood where I shared a concept about pain and suffering and how we can turn such “painful” events into Orgasm. One such event that science is looking into is labour. It is shown that 21% of women during birth experience orgasm. What is the cause for this bliss to manifest from something that we are taught is the most physically painful event of life. I am confident that if the survey went deeper into the rabbit hole of this phenomenon that we would discover that is somewhere around the same percentage of women that decide to experience labour and birth NATURALLY.

In our world today we are told to crave the bliss, desire the highs but avoid the lows. We are told that painful events are “bad” or wrong and that we should mask the feelings of these events with things that numb us or bring us a false sense of pleasure. What we are not told is that you cannot walk through this life avoiding all the perceived pain and not get a whiplash effect from the masking. Every time we choose to block out the pain of our lives we prevent our mind, body and soul from full expression, experience and rapture. We prevent ourselves from LIVING, yet living and connecting to life is what we are all searching for.

**I encourage each who reads this note to STOP the insanity of masking, dig deep into your beautiful being and find that courage to LIVE, free, unbound and fully expressed**.

So how does one go about living free, unbound and fully expressed?

Learn the steps today to live your life EMPOWERED.

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Orgasmic Womb-man Hood

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“When I gave birth, that was the first time I truly let go and surrendered. And it taught me how amazing that feels. Giving birth made me realize the power of being a woman. I have so much more substance in my life.” – Beyonce

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Orgasmic Womb-man Hood one of the most divine blessing that the feminine has been bestowed and yet we have been programmed to believe that these deeply spiritual and even orgasmic events in our lives are horribly painful and that we should not surrender ourselves to them but instead block these precious orgasmic moments of life transformation with anesthesia or short-circuit the whole event and have a C-section. This naked musing is posing the question to all women and men who dare to consider another side to the Miracle of Life. And in the questioning of the possibility of orgasmic birth we may also discover a different take on pain and suffering in our lives in general.

In pain you will give birth to children so claims the Holy Bible. But does that make it so? According to many for hundreds of years, yes it does. The bible said and therefore it is. But then why can over 21% of women surveyed say that they actually experienced orgasm during birth?

Being a mother, myself and having experienced labor five times and soon to be six, I can say that suffering and pain are not always there. At least not in the way that we perceive them and truthfully the lesson here is just that. Our expectations change the way pain is perceived.

Pregnant Mother Nature 019When we look at the orgasmic gift of birth we will discover that the same organs that are stimulated during sexual orgasm are also being stimulated during labor. As Christane Northrup, M.D. author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom has said, “The molecules of nature’s ecstasy are released in high quantities during labor.” Therefore it is simply science that a woman can have an orgasm during child birth and many women today are looking at possible ways to increase their chances of doing just this. I am one of them!

In my previous labors I did indeed feel pain, however I never experienced the sort of trauma that Hollywood would have us believe it is. Unfortunately for many women that I know they did not have the same more pleasurable experiences that I had. There is a lot that goes into it though and much like in other areas of life when we expect to experience pain we tense our muscles and our stress levels go up, causing our pain to increase.  But what if we actually learned how to surrender to this state of human experience?

What if we actually found romance and a sensual aspect to the painful events that all human beings must and do live through? What if instead of dreading pain and KNOWING that we were going to suffer, we decided to lose our fear and inhabitations and move toward the pain?

On the other side of ALL pain in our human experience is human ecstasy.  But we can only experience these points of high yummienessPregnant Mother Nature 078 if we are willing to surrender fully into it and transform the pain into sensational life energy.  When we surrender and give permission to those we are with to also surrender with us into our humanness we open the doorway to Orgasm. Weather it is in laboring a baby, a business, a divorce, or something else we step into our manifestional vortex of transformation through the power of surrender.

The SAME surrender needed to experience ORGASM!

A key note to this process that is among one of the most difficult for our society today, is to NOT medicate, mask, block or numb the pain of experience. In today’s world we are constantly being fed someway to “prevent” or “stop” painful events. We are told that we should want the highs in life but not the low’s and in order to achieve this we can pop a pill, have a drink, veg out to our favorite numbing event, or discharge our stress energy through unconscious sex or over indulging in some other way. All of these “anesthesia of physical experience” do nothing more than cause harm. They do not provide more highs and less low’s, they bring us to ground NUMB.

But when we look out into this world what do we see?

Zombies.

Pregnant Mother Nature 051Our world is a waste land of human zombies. We are plagued by a sexually repressed culture.  One where more and more people are turning inward and shutting down. Depression, anxiety, sexual issues, mental illness, anger, fatigue, and dis-ease are all at an all time high. More and more cases of people suffering from being bipolar, ADD, ADHD, and stress induced illnesses are being reported.  Sexual crimes and abuse in many fashions are also growing at phenomenal rates. This is what “Lost” looks like. This is what “numb” looks like.

Most people never tap into and harness their greatest resources: their “procreative” life force energy which can give increased energy, mental clarity, creativity and fulfillment in our lives. It is this same energy that a woman can tap into during labor and transform her pain into Orgasm. It is this divine energy that can catapult our world and heal us at levels that traditional medicine and therapy cannot even perceive. Rapidly too!

So how do more women experience Orgasmic Womb-man hood?

How do more people in general embrace this powerful liberating force and stop the insanity of being a zombie?

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We have to learn how to surrender in grace not fear to ourselves and our intimate relationships first. Followed up with embracing the fact that we HAVE NOT been taught how to love, sex or labor in life, but that there are people who can help. We have to be willing to step into those dark spaces of our subconscious and allow ourselves to really be seen, heard and felt. And we MUST recognize that how learning to harness our sexual potential is a Master Key to harnessing our life potential. Just as with the final contractions in labor we know that our sweet innocent angel will soon be in our arms, we also must know that with the final contractions of our sexual orgasm WE will soon be in the arms of our dream life.

Everything is interconnected and there is nothing that has not come from mind.

Our Divine Power to Create like the Creator is housed withing Our Wombs and in the embrace of Orgasm.

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Create the life you desire! Live Orgasmicaly today and every moment and transform those rough, edgy spots that could be perceived as pain and suffering into surrender so that you can bask in Orgasmic Bliss. 

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The Egg

~ You would think that one would stop being amazed at the universal energies and how they manifest in our life, yet I swear, the smallest of things still make me smile in great awe of a child on Christmas morning. The other night I was meeting at Starbucks with an incredibly enlightened and gifted man. As we sat there I watched the sparkle of “the light energy” (god energy) dance in his eyes while we shared our tales of life and our growth. At one point he distanced his presence, focused on his phone, tapped a few keys, asked me what email he should send a story to and made it happen. Today, after a day of following the signs , breathing in the direction of 2012 and realizing I need a sail boat for the year of the water dragon (so that I can fully grasp my own personal exploration), I found a time to read what he had sent. Below is a copy of the story.

My amazement comes from the depth of connection I felt as I read the final few lines. Why the connection? It threw me back to being a child of 4 years or so sitting on the toilet in my family home bathroom that was being renovated. LOL Funny thing, but as a small child I found great guidance coming from the conversations I would have with my “imaginary friend” who always shared stories and what seemed as wisdom to me while I took care of my business. The ending of this story The Egg, was one such tale that was a running theme coming from my “Imaginary friend,” Seth.

I hope you enjoy the tale and look forward to hearing your feedback and thoughts/opinions on it.  Namaste’ ~

 

The Egg

By: Andy Weir

“Wildy surreal landscape by Vladimir Kush. “

 

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothingparticularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and twochildren. It was a painless death. The EMTs triedtheir best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered youwere better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked.“Where am I?”

“You died,” I said,matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

“There was a… a truck and it wasskidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it.Everyone dies,” I said.

You looked around. There wasnothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this theafterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” Isaid. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s goodstuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination.To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly awoman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacherthan the almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll befine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t havetime to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will besecretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s anyconsolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what happensnow? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll bereincarnated.”

“Ah,” you said. “So the Hinduswere right,”

“All religions are right in theirown way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

You followed along as we strodethrough the void. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” I said.“It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” Youasked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all myexperiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have withinyou all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’tremember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you bythe shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than youcan possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what youare. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot orcold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring itback out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

“You’ve been in a human for thelast 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of yourimmense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d startremembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”

“How many times have I beenreincarnated, then?”

“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in tolots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinesepeasant girl in 540 AD.”

“Wait, what?” You stammered.“You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time,as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I comefrom.”

“Where you come from?” You said.

“Oh sure,” I explained “I comefrom somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’llwant to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh,” you said, a little let down.“But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could haveinteracted with myself at some point.”

“Sure. Happens all the time. Andwith both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’shappening.”

“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously?You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

“Well it’s a reasonable question,”you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. “Themeaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”

“You mean mankind? You want us tomature?”

“No, just you. I made this wholeuniverse for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a largerand greater intellect.”

“Just me? What about everyone else?”

“There is no one else,” I said.“In this universe, there’s just you and me.”

You stared blankly at me. “But allthe people on earth…”

“All you. Different incarnationsof you.”

“Wait. I’m everyone!?”

“Now you’re getting it,” I said,with a congratulatory slap on the back.

“I’m every human being who everlived?”

“Or who will ever live, yes.”

“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

“And you’re John Wilkes Booth,too,” I added.

“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.

“And you’re the millions hekilled.”

“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followedhim.”

You fell silent.

“Every time you victimizedsomeone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’vedone, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced byany human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

You thought for a long time.

“Why?” You asked me. “Why do allthis?”

“Because someday, you will becomelike me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa,” you said, incredulous.“You mean I’m a god?”

“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus.You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time,you will have grown enough to be born.”

“So the whole universe,” you said,“it’s just…”

“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’stime for you to move on to your next life.”

And I sent you on your way.