How Can You Be Spiritual & Sexual? ~ Ben Belenus

For some, spirituality is all fluffy and dream-catchery; our day‘s intention is to live with an open-heart and make smiley differences in the lives of others.

For others, spirituality is all about surrender to unfolding Source, personality annihilation and manifesting stillness.

But what about sex?

We live in a world with billions of sexually repressed women, billions of sexually damaged men and millions of people addicted to pornography. Many of those people would describe themselves asspiritual.

Something has gone wrong. The repression of sex can be held accountable for so many of our world’s ills. It is time to take a good look at the assumptions that we make about our sexuality, time to embrace some kick-ass spirituality.

For many people journeying a spiritual path, there’s much confusion about how to handle sex impulses that naturally arise. What does a student do when he has lusty thoughts about his gorgeous yoga teacher as she demonstrates downward facing dog?

What does a meditator do when she has the urge to masturbate (about a young muscular man at the ashram)? What does an internationally renowned teacher do when he no longer finds his gorgeous wife sexually attractive, preferring to indulge in his friends with benefits?

Sex is a mother load of work for every one of us.

People, the good news is we are all wonderfully sexual beings, for all is sex. Sex brings this all into being. The bad news, thus far, is that our patriarchal culture and a myriad of flesh-denying religious teachings have left us all with a sexual shadow.

How can we be spiritual and not sexual? Not possible.

I would describe myself as a sexual creature. I am also in touch with an inner yearning to understand what this experience called life is all about. I am a sexual mystic. Over the years, I have encountered many mixed messages from the spiritual scene as to what to do with all the sexual energy that flows through me.

Abstain? No. Embrace and share? No. Hide it? No. Tell everyone about it? No! Beyond the spiritual scene, in the world that I grew up in, there were even more mixed messages. Isn’t it extraordinary how sex is so out in the open, blatantly used in all media, and yet, it is so hidden; nobody talks freely about it. No wonder I was confused.

As a spiritual evolutionary, I was determined to find my way through the confusion. The essence of what I discovered is that this isn’t the time to pretend that our sex is bad or isn’t there. It’s no time to be guilty about something that is so beautiful.

It’s no time to bear shameful wounds that stand in the way of our wholeness. This is a time to embrace our every sexual feeling, every nuanced energy that moves within and to see it all as nature; a flow from divinity itself. Sexual mindfulness if you will. Sexquanimity.

I have peered deeply into the origins of sexual energy and seen that sex is the life force that brings everything into being. It is the most austere of energies that moves within us. Fellow seekers, let’s not deny that energy—let’s embrace it, talk about it, love it and celebrate it.

That surely is the way that we can return to wholeness. It is only when sexual energy is embraced and celebrated that our shadows will enlighten. Celebration of our sex has to be an integral part of any spiritual journey.

Wholeness is ours to be experienced when we indulge in all of life with awareness. Even those sexy, naughty, juicy parts of us that we would rather pretend weren’t there.

Om Mani Padme Hum

Original Post on Elephant Spirituallity

Ben Belenus is a truth seeker, worshipper of women and Author. His juicy new book “The sex god – No Mud No Lotus” is a thorough and sacred investigation into sex, love and authenticity. It’s a sexually explicit and passionate love story that follows one man’s evolution towards spiritual freedom. The story follows Ben from innocence into sexual cockiness, painful infidelities, porn addiction and then onwards into deepest Tantric Love.

Door # 1 or Door # 2 ?

” Reality 1: Hang on to Old Reality consciousness and becom immersed in its crumbling facade and deepening devastation. This reality will be filled with mounting evidence that the old ways of seeing the world are no longer functional.

Reality 2: Align yourself with the uplifting grace of New Reality consciousness and its inherent sense of the new, the hopeful and the inspired. Align yourself with its enormous potential to build a new and better world.

These two realities are like two ships waiting to leave port. Both ships have raised steam; their propulsion turbines are at rest, yet poised with potential and ready to push the massive ships forward.

For now, you are still able to move from one ship to the other, making your choice while they remain in port, but time is running short. The two ships, Reality 1 and Reality 2, are about to leave port and go their separate ways.

The reality that you subscribe to – the one to which you give the most energy – is the one that you will see manifest more and more in your perception of the world.

When storms pass by, they affect all ships. As world crises pass by, they affect all people. The difference is that those in the New Reality community will sense the emerging love and the new hope for a better world that emerges with each crisis, while those who subscribe to the Old Reality consciousness will fall deeper into a fear-filled view of reality.

Here are the rules of Reality 1: Watch the television, especially the news. Be afraid, very afraid. Do what you are told.

Here are the rules of Reality 2: Notice the ever-increasing frequency of consciousness that fills the air. Notice how each day makes it easier to access the unconditional love of heart-centered consciousness. Notice how you can join with others of like mind and work for a better reality, a future filled with community and support, while helping each other to realize more spiritual unfoldment.

For a time, the people of Reality 1 and Reality 2 will keep sharing the same world. The difference is the lens through which they will perceive reality.

The lens that looks at a material world sees one reality, while the lens that looks through the heart sees a totally different picture, even though they are looking at the same world. The lens that you choose determines how you experience your reality.

The time has come to make a firm decision to join the good ship, “Reality 2,” with its New Reality consciousness, and to see the world through a lens that encourages your purpose in life.

It is a time to expand your awareness through an increased focus on spiritual consciousness, through the study and practice of the universal laws, and through reaching out to others who can be helped in turbulent times that are filled with both great change and great opportunity.

It is time to make that crucial decision, to join your ship and set your course directly into the dawn of the emerging New Reality.

The single most powerful opportunity for spiritual advancement in 26,000 years is coming and it is just a month away!

In order to best prepare for the 2012 cosmic gateway which occurs on December 21st, we are running a 2012 Transformation course, starting on December 1st.

Prepare now to pass through the 2012 gateway in the best possible way. Join the many souls of like mind on this course who will be learning about the emerging new standard in spiritual growth. Tune in with the ascended masters who will be assisting us during this course to reach the new level of spiritual consciousness.”

–Owen Waters

Tantra and Enlightenment

OK, so few enter the world of Tantra looking for enlightenment, or at least few enter knowing that they are looking for enlightenment. Most come for better sex, to find intimacy or to improve relationships. But perhaps all of these longings are ultimately for the same thing, a sort of deep inner urge for something deeper, something higher.

After all, perhaps the search for extraordinary sexual experience is also the search for death…not the physical kind, but a certain death into the beyond. Beyond everyday reality, beyond everyday concerns and worries, beyond thought…beyond mind…is that not also the definition of meditation?

The French, in their wisdom, call orgasm le petit mort, the “little death”. Perhaps an insight into the spiritual nature of sex, the glimpse of enlightenment through sex.

And intimacy… the craving to connect, to open with another. The fuel behind relationships. Is this not also the search for love? And what is love, if not a dissolving beyond self…is that not also the definition of meditation?

The great thing about Tantra is that if you step into it because you want to be a chick-magnet or score a husband, it doesn’t matter…it takes you towards enlightenment anyway, towards awakening, towards source. That is the magic of Tantra.

Sometimes I reckon it is better not to think about enlightenment…it is not worth getting too heady about, and one is bound to fall into confusion or delusion. Because one is trying to think the unthinkable, and this can lead to either feeling like you will never ever get “it”, or get all muddled about what it’s all about.

Even worse, thinking about it all may lead to a case of “doing enlightenment”, walking around pretending to be in the moment, acting out being non-attached…if you find yourself walking with your head above everyone else’s you are bound to have fallen into this delusion. Because, after all, enlightenment is about recognising our Oneness, not our superiority!

In Tantra it is possible to cultivate states in which one experiences dissolving into something greater than self, a state of ecstasy. In such a state a realization occurs, a sort of remembering who we really are. Or perhaps a forgetting of who we are not! Such states are delightful, and help to loosen the hold of the “illusion” that we are a separate self.

However, an experience is an experience, the very definition of it is that it comes and it goes. So at some point the ecstasy passes and we may return to selfhood once more. The great thing is that the belief and certainty that you once had about your own identity becomes softened each time you crack the shell open. You can open to new possibilities…maybe you are part of a universal life, an interconnected web, a oneness after all.

A pitfall is to get over-attached to the experiences, and to mistake them for something you are trying to attain. Then you become addicted to ecstasy, grasping over and over to repeat them or to cultivate a new experience. Experience can be seen as a mirror; it helps us to know who we are. But we do not need to hold onto the actual mirror, we do not need to cling to the experience. Tantra teaches us the art of experiencing totally and then letting go.

We sometimes carry the unquestioned assumption that enlightenment is an experience that will someday start and never end. We imagine one day we wake up and fireworks are going off, and we will forever see life though rainbow glasses. But if your enlightenment was a permanent  mind-blowing ecstasy, the type that you generate from certain practices, it would be very hard to get the laundry done.

We often hear that enlightenment is very simple, ordinary even. Yet it is not the “ordinary” of mainstream existence, else we would not be seeking something else… perhaps this kind of ordinary is more the kind of the all-knowing twinkle in the eye. Nothing to shout about; a deep resting in what is, a light-hearted humourful way to play in life…knowing all is not what it appears to be. Ordinary but not ordinary.

How do we live in this way? The key is integration. The art of integrating extraordinary experiences into one’s everydayness. The fusion of the profound and the profane. In Tao and Tibetan Tantra they speak of this as the dissolving of all duality into the core, into the center. Yes, even ecstasy and ordinariness can meet, and dissolve back into the core.

This core, or center, is often thought of as the Source Point. The part of us that is Source; our un-changing presence. This might sound profound, but you can think of it as the part of you that was the same when you were 3, same when you were 21…and will be the same when you are 101. It is the witness that watches life unfolding. In Tantra we use strong experiences to build a deeper connection to this witness-consciousness. Experiences are depicted as Shakti dancing, and the witness is Shiva watching.

Some non-tantric paths of enlightenment encourage the recognition and resting-in of this witness-consciousness at the expense of Shakti, of experience.  This is the ascetic path…denying experience in order to fall into presence, in a way it is denying life in order to know death. Tantra is not ascetic. Tantra says yes to it all. Tantra takes the life and the death and finds out how they meet.

So there is quality of enlightenment within Tantra that is, as Osho says “total”. When one chooses to open to all flows of energy, emotion and experience (shakti), one becomes so total with life that one dissolves into it. There is no separation between you and life. You are life. And yet you are also the death beyond all life. And you are the source of all life and death.

And you thought you were signing up for better sex and easy relationships??!! Welcome to Tantra!

www.sextospirit.com

The Egg

~ You would think that one would stop being amazed at the universal energies and how they manifest in our life, yet I swear, the smallest of things still make me smile in great awe of a child on Christmas morning. The other night I was meeting at Starbucks with an incredibly enlightened and gifted man. As we sat there I watched the sparkle of “the light energy” (god energy) dance in his eyes while we shared our tales of life and our growth. At one point he distanced his presence, focused on his phone, tapped a few keys, asked me what email he should send a story to and made it happen. Today, after a day of following the signs , breathing in the direction of 2012 and realizing I need a sail boat for the year of the water dragon (so that I can fully grasp my own personal exploration), I found a time to read what he had sent. Below is a copy of the story.

My amazement comes from the depth of connection I felt as I read the final few lines. Why the connection? It threw me back to being a child of 4 years or so sitting on the toilet in my family home bathroom that was being renovated. LOL Funny thing, but as a small child I found great guidance coming from the conversations I would have with my “imaginary friend” who always shared stories and what seemed as wisdom to me while I took care of my business. The ending of this story The Egg, was one such tale that was a running theme coming from my “Imaginary friend,” Seth.

I hope you enjoy the tale and look forward to hearing your feedback and thoughts/opinions on it.  Namaste’ ~

 

The Egg

By: Andy Weir

“Wildy surreal landscape by Vladimir Kush. “

 

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothingparticularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and twochildren. It was a painless death. The EMTs triedtheir best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered youwere better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked.“Where am I?”

“You died,” I said,matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

“There was a… a truck and it wasskidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it.Everyone dies,” I said.

You looked around. There wasnothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this theafterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” Isaid. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s goodstuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination.To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly awoman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacherthan the almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll befine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t havetime to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will besecretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s anyconsolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what happensnow? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll bereincarnated.”

“Ah,” you said. “So the Hinduswere right,”

“All religions are right in theirown way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

You followed along as we strodethrough the void. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” I said.“It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” Youasked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all myexperiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have withinyou all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’tremember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you bythe shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than youcan possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what youare. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot orcold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring itback out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

“You’ve been in a human for thelast 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of yourimmense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d startremembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”

“How many times have I beenreincarnated, then?”

“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in tolots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinesepeasant girl in 540 AD.”

“Wait, what?” You stammered.“You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time,as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I comefrom.”

“Where you come from?” You said.

“Oh sure,” I explained “I comefrom somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’llwant to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh,” you said, a little let down.“But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could haveinteracted with myself at some point.”

“Sure. Happens all the time. Andwith both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’shappening.”

“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously?You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

“Well it’s a reasonable question,”you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. “Themeaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”

“You mean mankind? You want us tomature?”

“No, just you. I made this wholeuniverse for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a largerand greater intellect.”

“Just me? What about everyone else?”

“There is no one else,” I said.“In this universe, there’s just you and me.”

You stared blankly at me. “But allthe people on earth…”

“All you. Different incarnationsof you.”

“Wait. I’m everyone!?”

“Now you’re getting it,” I said,with a congratulatory slap on the back.

“I’m every human being who everlived?”

“Or who will ever live, yes.”

“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

“And you’re John Wilkes Booth,too,” I added.

“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.

“And you’re the millions hekilled.”

“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followedhim.”

You fell silent.

“Every time you victimizedsomeone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’vedone, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced byany human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

You thought for a long time.

“Why?” You asked me. “Why do allthis?”

“Because someday, you will becomelike me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa,” you said, incredulous.“You mean I’m a god?”

“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus.You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time,you will have grown enough to be born.”

“So the whole universe,” you said,“it’s just…”

“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’stime for you to move on to your next life.”

And I sent you on your way.