2016 has been a year of transformation which means a year of chaos, turbulence, perceived suffering and ego drama for many including myself. So many people that I have worked with over the course of this year came to me with visions of desires that they truly wanted and still do but were faced with the healing process of mourning.
Perhaps you are one of these sweet souls who is going through this transition somewhere in your life or in multiple areas of your life. Mourning is something that we typically relate to the death of a loved one and we allow ourselves to feel the pain of loss for them as we figure out how to take the next step in life and move forward. The mourning process often finds us feeling:
We recognize these feelings as a state of depression. We know that we cannot change the events and through the process of mourning we tend to focus in on ALL the characteristics, moments and feelings about the thing that we lost that we LOVED, APPRECIATED and wished we still had. In this moment we find ourselves appreciative and upset. Angered at our loss but appreciative that we had been blessed with the moments spent.
So how does this relate to TODAY which happens to be Thanksgiving or the transformation process and all the shit that happens on this path of growth?
Simple, our true growth and transformation comes when we can allow ourselves this same right of mourning even with the programs and shifts that we know we have to make that are holding us back from our true abundance and power.
Why should we mourn or be grateful for these programs, negative events and suffering you may ask?
Because these events, programs and perceived suffering is exactly what we needed to make us strong enough to have the vulnerability, the courage to walk the path of our destiny. It is these very things that teach us about gratitude. Without these events and feeling in our lives we would act like a spoiled Charles born with a silver spoon in our mouth. We would indeed take life and all our blessings for granted. And even with all the trauma that we humans inflict on ourselves as we move through life we still manage to lead a life full of blessings that we constantly take for granted.
No matter how bad it is in any one persons life there is ALWAYS a place for gratitude. No matter how abused, sick, broke, hungry, abandoned, lonely or in pain a person is there ARE BLESSINGS. How can I say this? Obviously I have no clue what I am speaking because I have not walked in the shoes of the homeless man who sleeps on the cold streets of Chicago. I have not been abandoned by my family . I am not suffering with a drug addiction. I am not dying from an incurable illness. I am not living in a sex slave camp. I have not witnessed my whole village and family massacred before my very eyes. Or any other horrible human trial. But still, I write this in complete confidence that no matter what the trail, the pain, the suffering or situation that there is BLESSING and a place for gratitude. If nothing else there is a blessing in the lesson.
The lessons of our soul come in two formats:
Pleasure and Pain.
It is when we discover the blessing in our suffering or wound as I like to say that we actually step foot on our true path. It is in our wounds that we discover our passion, our purpose and our GIFT to the world.
Only through gratitude can we fully embrace our calling.
But just saying that we are thankful is not enough. We must actually touch gratitude with the feeling of it penetrating our core, our heart. We must enter a space where we not only speak our gratitude but act on it. Without committing to gifting the world with our appreciation and moving into the lessons of our wounds we remain closed and shut up. We keep ourselves armored and locked away where we can not relate, feel love or joy.
We prevent ourselves from living a life of abundance. When we hide away from the mourning process which leads us to gratitude we in turn say, ” No thanks to the Fuck YES Life! ” The life that you experience not just yeah that sounds nice but Fuck YES I want that. Fuck YES I am blessed. Fuck YES this is awesome. Fuck Yes I am in Love! Fuck Yes I am living my dream.
So on this day of Thanksgiving focus on what your blessings are.
Find the hidden blessings and start by praising life for the opportunities that come in those challenges.
“_When we commit to truly being present in the moment, realizing that the past is just a story and the future is still being created, we can find true happiness. When we realize that gratitude can shift any situation in our life from a challenge or a normal day to a day of joy, opportunity, and blessing. Even in the darkest days we can choose to see how that moment can gift us compassion, strength, growth, empathy, and a lesson that, if learned, can transform our reality. Life truly transforms when you start counting your blessings. When you stop focusing on what you do have instead of what you don’t. When we focus on what we HAVE we always end up with more things to be grateful for.”_ – Joeel and Natalie Rivera
The other day I was listening to Alexander Brighton speaking during a coaching circle and he was sharing the concept of living in a state of gratitude while remaining hungry for life. This is exactly the high ground of manifestation that we need to come from but we are taught in this life that you must always want more and never be content with where you are. Now I can feel a bunch of people saying, “No, your wrong Kendal, we are not taught this. I was not taught this. I do not teach my children this.” But we are and we do. If it were not the case and we were all living from a state of gratitude and still full of desire then we would not see the rapid onslaught of people self medicating, taking multiple anti-depressants, hiding in video games or TV show’s or walking through their days looking like zombies. Instead we would all be welcoming the start of a new day, we would hungrily charge forth into our activities and rejoice for all the blessing that we have and all those that are still coming to us. We would REALIZE our true divinity and power and accept with a smile the fact that we are creating our reality each moment. We would be teaching our children these universal truths instead of telling them to just get a degree for a white collar job (that may not even be around when they graduate) so that they can pay the bills and survive.
How many times this last month did you feel like you were JUST surviving?
Being a survivor says that you are yes getting by, but not living to your full life capacity. Your not being challenged by life. Your not even really wanting the challenge and your shut down to your bliss. Survival in any form is about suppressing your true authentic divine self. It is about wearing the armor that you feel you need to protect yourself from life’s pains instead of allowing for the full flow of life to carry you into greatness. Surviving is the opposite of living.
If we actually believed that living from a grateful heart was one of the main key points to having and creating a life that we wanted then wouldn’t you think we would do just that. Be grateful. We do “tell” our children to be grateful for the food on the table, the roof over their head, clothes on their backs, etc. But are we modeling this gratitude?
As we “tell” our children to be grateful we also say to them, “be happy with what you have and STOP wanting,” yet we constantly exhibit in our own actions the reverse. We are not completely wrong in this attitude. If we could just get down the gratitude and change the unhappy wanting (unhappy wanting is wanting with the belief that we cannot have, or should not have/want, believing that we are not good enough to be/do/have, belief that things have always been one way and therefore cannot be another, etc.) to desire.
Desire is not about “hoping” that something will happen, it is not even dreaming about something, it is about going deeper to a soul level where we connect to the Source (god, the light, the creator, etc.) and feeling at our core what our life is to be like. What our soul KNOW’S we can achieve and should have. Desire is about living fully and every desire that we have is there to awaken us to what our potential is in this life. When we focus on these soul desires we start to attract to us the people and situations needed to help them materialize. The more we release our old programming (beliefs, thoughts and feelings) toward these desires the quicker we pull them into our life.
Allowing ourselves to experience more bliss in our day to day life instead of focusing on what we do not have and living in a state of scarcity helps put us into the vortex of abundance. There are many ways to get into this state of being:
- Treat yourself to small luxuries each week
- Stop announcing that you are broke. Instead say nothing.
- When you find a penny or a dollar, say aloud, ” I am a money magnet.”
- Smile often.
- Except the kindness of a stranger, friend, lover or other.
- Do not jump out of bed in the morning, instead breathe and paint a picture in your head of how you want your day to go.
- Eliminate these words from your vocabulary: hope, I wish, fine, broke, I don’t have…, I can’t, luck, and if.
- Flirt often and LOT’s.
- Do one thing each week that scares you in a good way.
- Have more orgasms. (to obtain optimal joy the suggested amount of orgasms to have in a week is at least 3, one a day is best.)
- Tell yourself that you love yourself.
And BE in GRATITUDE for and with each breath.