What exactly is sexual empowerment? Does sexual empowerment mean that you will become some whore, slut or sex goddess/god? Does it mean that you will want to live out your fantasies or move from a once monogamous relationship into some alternative lifestyle with your sexuality? Does it mean that you will start to dress in a more seductive fashion? or watch porn freely?
Through the years of working with many couples and individuals I have been asked all of these questions, some come to me with great excitement and hope that the answer is “yes” others have a look of terror run across their face and pray that these things will not come to pass. Some are hoping that their mates will change in this fashion so that they can go play the field more without guilt, while others are just wanting to feel secure in themselves and have someone tell them that they are normal in their desires and wants and that what they choose to do in the manifestation of their sexual empowerment is ALL up to them. In all honesty, there is NO such thing as normal when it comes to our sexuality. There is no right or wrong. There just is the fact that we are sexual creatures and through the understanding and embracing of this incredible power within each of us that we can create a beautiful life. When we suppress our sexuality and hide it under the covers, in darkness or in the closet we are preventing bliss to flow through our lives in all ways. The links between our sexual empowerment and our ability to manifest abundance into our lives is ever so strong. The two are aligned. Napoleon Hill back in the 1930’s wrote the book Think and Grow Rich and in his discovery he found that all great leaders/change agents and millionaires had a few things in common. One of them being a high sex drive and an ability to transmute this power in their lives so that they were not just having incredible sex but that they were using this force to live out their desires/dreams in other areas of life and pull massive abundance to them. This too is YOUR power. But in order to make use of this universal law you must first learn that sexual empowerment is a must. Healing your sex is how you heal your life and live unbound, liberated and abundant.
It is becoming a more common belief and a well supported one at that, that sex and money are tied together at the hip. For all of you who are wanting to develop that dream business, live your dreams doing what you want, be on purpose and a motivator to the world, then focus on healing, expanding and empowering your sexuality FIRST. The underlying core beliefs that you hold toward sexuality manifest themselves into other core beliefs about life. The way you can surrender into yourself, be comfortable with who you are as a sexual being, ask for what you want, negotiate your desires, communicate your love and/or pain, listen, feel and support your lover as well as yourself and hold space all play a significant role in how well you will achieve your dreams and desires in other areas of your life. When you are all blocked up and addicted to certain beliefs and ways of being, hiding and suppressing in sex you will also do this in your work, spiritual practice, exercise/nutrition, parenting, and over all relating.
So what does a sexually empowered person look like?
- Is intimately connected to their sexual self
- Identifies and experiences wants and desires without crossing the boundaries of another
- Communicates needs, wants and desires without blame or shame
- Accepts rejection without taking it personally
- Feels at home in their self and their body
- Sets authentic boundaries and means it
- Is educated about how their body, pleasure and relationships “work”
- Knows and utilizes available options for sexual expression and erotic experience
- Feels fully sexually expressed and when they are not in full expression, they know how to get there
- Thoughtfully explores sex and sexuality so that they can make clear distinctions about what’s right for them and what’s not
- Develops and uses skills to make pleasureful, satisfying, fulfilling sex their norm
- Forms relationships and develops intimacy that supports the highest expression of their core energy
- Expresses a range of emotions in healthy ways that do not harm themselves or others
- Identifies defense patterns in relationships and works to overcome them and replace them with healthy ways of connecting to others
- Develops healthy coping skills for managing difficult emotions, grief and pain
- Engages in clean, clear communication
- Works to heal and release any shame, guilt or trauma about their sexuality
- Heals the need to be competitive with others and to release patterns of lack, deprivation and feeling like they “can’t have it all”
- Critically examines cultural messages about sexuality, gender and sex
- Rejects and challenges sexual stereotypes, assumptions, false ideas and cultural myths that hinder, impair, squash or dim their magnificent sexual self
- Identifies and experiences erotic authenticity even when socially popular ideas pressure them to do or like something else
- Explores and develops an authentic sexual identity and does not need to hide or shift that identity to feel comfortable and safe in their life
- Knows they never have to settle and that choosing one key desire and forsaking another is a false choice
- Makes authentic sexual decisions
- Experiences joy and pleasure regularly and as a norm in life
- Develops their confidence and sexual self-esteem
- Lives in alignment with their desires
- Shines their light in its full brightness & juiciness in the world
- Feels at home in themselves and moves through the world from a place of self-intimacy
As we learn to come out of the societal trap of “we can’t have” the life, the bliss, the love and connection that we dream of and that it is wrong for us to express ourselves in a creative fashion or live in comfort with our sexuality we experience a complete turn around in our lives. Our thinking and expressing is liberated and the weight of the world is released from us. we find ourselves smiling for seemingly no reason, seeing the good and beauty in all and instead of focusing on why the glass is half empty we know that there is a field full of cattle ready to share more milk for us. It is not a deprived, repressed way of living and thinking but instead one that says that in life there is more then enough with plenty left over.
Learn more about how to become sexually empowered through one of my coaching programs or workshops/seminars. After all that’s what I do. Embrace your authentic sexually empowered self TODAY. Your dreams and life are worth it. Live Unbound and liberated.
Empowerment list original posting and writing from Amy Jo Goddard