A yes to your pleasure.
Then I realize that this is what I help people over come EVERY day.
Becoming a child without a parent is a strange adventure in this life,
So what are you waiting for?
My mom say’s we can…
Stop Existing & Start Living
When we learn to share this intimate aspect of ourselves then there is no more reason to hide any part of our beings from our partners. In this we discover true intimacy and commitment. We embrace unconditional love and live authentically. –KW
A cool breeze whipped under my skirt as I straddled his cock. Slipping one leg around him and between the back of the bench and the seat, gently moving my hips down as to press him into my wetness, my skirt falling to the side, cars passing by, bird chirping, water rippling and a possible on looker from one of the surrounding apartment or business buildings all made for our afternoon adventure. With each thrust my body hungered to feel him deeper, his pleasure of my exhibition, his joy of the freedom of fucking me softly in public, and the tremble of excitement of possibly being seen, all deepening our intimacy, our connection and passion. In one deep breath he picked me up and laid me back on the cold bench, where I was fully exposed for all to see and for him to take more fully as well. Thrusting himself into me over and over again our heat burned and we had to take our escapade to more private domains.
Some PDA (public display of affection) this had turned into.
Not so uncommon for me and some, but it is an uncommon and even feared fantasy for so many people and couples.
Adventure sex is one of the best connective tools a couple can experience. It does not always mean that you have to go to an orgy, or swing with strangers, even to have sex in public as my little tale above shares. Sometimes adventure sex can be very vanilla and simply mean doing something that you would like to explore or do again to rekindle the heat or expand your sexual horizons. Some of my tips of the week speak of having sex in the shower, tormenting each other under the table at a restaurant, revealing no panties just as you enter a theater or show, or before leaving your car give a sample blow job. Offer you bare pussy to your lover by pressing their finger into you while they are driving, kiss more passionately and thrust your hips into them while nibbling gently on their lip. Adventure sex may just mean changing up the room you have sex in or adding in a toy or some blindfolds and restraints.
Fantasy Sex DOES NOT have to remain a fantasy either. It has been shown over and over again that through acting out, sharing and allowing ourselves to grow our fantasies in a safe, intimate, boundary respected enviroment that we not only have a more harmonized psychological world, but our commitment and intimacy level with our partner is strengthened to new levels. Our actual relationship foundation becomes stronger and the container that we act in with our partner acts as a liberating agent instead of a space for shame, disconnect and fear.
Sexual fantasy is healthy folks!
Not all fantasy need be acted on, some may not even be very physically safe or may be a turn off for our partners.
Some fantasy sex may just need to be shared during lovemaking to heat things up. Or parts of the fantasy played out during regular love making and the rest just painted as if it were a picture for both to enjoy in the thralls of love making.
I can tell you that personally I love it when my partner takes me from behind, and applies his strength of dominance by holding me firmly or gently choking me while whispering our joint fantasies in my ear, using some strong language and letting me know how aroused he is with each thrust. This sort of partial fantasy play in my book is exhilarating and heals my shame of desire.
Growing up in a catholic school, with parents much older then my friends parents very stuck in their ways and with the social programming that as a girl or a woman I should not desire sex. Only sluts and whores did this and they did it out of a lack of self respect. A girl who respects herself does not flaunt, crave, desire and most certainly would never share or act on these fantasies.
Not so uncommon a program, as the majority of the population has a similar one.
What I have learned through years of sex and relationship coaching with clients, and through my own healing processes with my teachers and lovers is that the ONLY should not is the denial of myself. If I say no to myself consistently, then I reinforce the shaming from my youth. Only through acceptance and saying yes to some of my desires do I heal and expand.
This is true for everyone.
In our ability to say yes to ourselves and to push ourselves to grow and experience new adventures we learn what our true beliefs are, we learn where our boundaries are and we experience liberation not only sexually but mentally, spiritually and as a whole authentic being. One that is making the call for ourselves instead of assuming that another individuals desires/beliefs/experiences and programs are good enough for us as well.
Through our awakening the supposed demon of desire we also awaken enlightenment.
Sex is truly a liberator, a healer and one of the greatest teachers we have been given. In our closure and shaming of this invaluable tool we shut ourselves off from life and turn toward self imprisonment all in the pursuit of being a “good girl or good boy” in the eyes of society.
So stop crucifying your sex and start saying yes to the oh so evil pearls of sin. Say yes to a fantasy. Say yes to an adventure. Say yes to growth, intimacy and unbounded passion.
You may just be surprised at how powerful the event turns out to be and what joys reside on the other side of the doorway of desire.
I crossed a stone bridge in the mist and as I came to the other side I was transported into a life I once knew. Gazing down at my feet I saw beautiful gold threads wrapping around them but no shoes. I knew I was a woman. I felt young, happy, and light bodied. Full of energy and love.
I was in love!
I looked around the room, it was just incredible, full of rich colors, reds, gold, browns, many intricate designs embroidered on the materials and lots of sheer curtains. A smell of incense in the air. A large grey beast sat in the middle of my room. It was not an elephant, but large. I never paid attention to its face, although I know it had a head dress on of some sort. At first thought I must be in India or perhaps a similar culture.
I was dancing around in circles.
I had such beautiful long dark hair and there were all these veils of color hanging from my head. My skirt was beautiful, the colors and design swirled around me in a cosmic dance of fashion.
I danced and danced.
Without conscious thought, I was transported to the scene of my death. A large man with rippling muscles stood beside where I lay. As I looked up into his face I could bearly see his eyes for the strange headdress. He was holding my arms above my head firmly, I felt another holding my legs down. I was laying upon some sort of rock/stone alter. There this “high priest” (I am assuming) with a wooden staff that had feathers and beads hanging from it said something about my sacrifice.
Emotions were running wild at this point. I could feel the anxiety in my heart. Why had I wanted this? What was I doing? Was is right? Was it really for a higher purpose or for not?
I was still young and in love.
I recall the damn love. Damning it for the pain I was feeling. The loss I would once again feel. I gazed out over this vast, lush, beautiful green valley where my people stand below. It was a tropical forest created by the hands of the Gods. It was my death place. Looking out into the crowd, tears in my eyes I found the returning look my heart was longing for. Locking in on a young man, incredibly handsome. Dark beautiful skin, muscles toned perfectly, black shiny hair down to his shoulders. He smiled at me and my heart returned the smile as well as my face.
As the smile lifted my soul to the heavens I was quickly reminded of the pain that we can expereince in this realm; a sharp burning sensation below my ribs took over my consciousness….
As though time did not exist I found myself floating above my people. Over my lovers head, looking back from my aerial view I could see a stone pyramid shaped temple. Steps leading up to where I had just died. I heard cheering and then was whisked away and began to come back to an awake state of being in current “reality.”
“Perhaps expereince is the driving force that brings us back. Or perhaps learning something begets the desire to learn more, and learning more begets the desire to learn everything there is to know.” – P.S. Berg, Wheels of a Soul
Our past lives have a way of bringing us valuable lessons in times we least expect it. And with each visit of a past life we will re-learn a lesson and also be invited to awaken to another. This was the exact case for me during my Sacred Voyage to Maui. Little did I expect to be visited by the above past life regression. Years ago I had done massive regression work to release my bondage to certain fears and discover the meaning of some important relationships in this current life that I knew had carried their energies from past. This particular regression opened up some interesting insights; from a fear of dancing to the saga of loosing love that seems to have rippled through lifetimes.
The morning was fresh when we decided it was time to journey away to the first of many sacred vortexes. As Greg “Magick” Bernstein and I drove down the pot hole filled road he looked at me and shared that the sight he was being guided to take me he had not taken anyone for many a year. Uncertain as to why he was being guided to do so, he shared some of the history of the sight. Known as the Temple Gathering Place of the High Supernatural’s, this was the site where the last human sacrifice of Maui was done.
However before we venture into the realm of sacrifice and worship, we must first prepare our physical beings. Protection, Appreciation, Understanding, and Honor. These things he would cover with me in Iao Valley Park. There beneath the trees, beside the running river of time, we sat and talked. Among the tales shared was one perfect for the birthing of the adventure at hand. One that not even Magick knew as of yet.
“Once there was a couple who sat and watched a cat in the weeds and flowers. The woman said, ‘Oh, look honey, the cat is smelling the flowers.’ The man looked over to the cat and said, ‘He is not smelling the flowers, he is peeing on them.’ The woman said,’ Well that is not how I see it in my reality!” (Story adapted from the one Greg shared)
Providing spiritual clarity as to why he was guiding to this temple, I shared my above regression.
Once we were prepared we ventured off to the temple. At our arrival the gates were closed. Magick looked at me and asked me to sense if we were to continue or not. It was my intuitive call. I called out to spirit and was told to move forward. As I crossed through the gates my heart began to hurt. It quickly became unbearable, almost as though it was being ripped out of my chest. As we rounded a curve on the path my eyes set out on the remains of two adjoining temples that commanded a view that when build I am sure was spectacular. Stepped stones that towered above a below stream almost covered in overgrowth, this pyramid like sacrificial mound took in the view of ocean, valley and high country. The energy that released from its blood soiled ground was strangely peaceful and even calming to my being although my heart chakra did not stop vibrating with its intensity until I found my meditation place. Here looking back at the sacrificial site from a vista point of stepped stonework I sat. Back to the sun, breathing in the universe and allowing the four winds to dance with my ethereal being. As my soul danced and listened I heard the call of spirit. Particularly the call of Snake.
There in front of me grew a bush up through the ancient stones. Upon it was a small white pod of sorts. It sorta looked like a wishing weed. Spirit was asking me to take one and eat it. I argued with spirit out of fear, out of doubt. “How crazy to hear spirit telling me to eat some strange plant at a death site. Yeah most likely not the best of all ideas.” But with each argument the winds would blast me from different directions, pressing themselves into me and the vision of snakes within the stones would grow stronger. Spirit was speaking! Loud too.
Finally I asked permission from land and plant to pick the small pod flower. However chose not to eat it. Asking spirit if I had to, I was answered with a vision. The vision was of a dark cave, rocks, fallen trees, moss and tall grasses. I had no idea as to where this was so asked Spirit to share this vision with my guide, Magick.
Through time and space our many lives ripple into each other.
Even science is starting to realize that what we believe is our reality,
more than likely is nothing more than an illusion. Through the awareness
of our previous lives and the lessons that we still need to learn from them
and the strengths that we can harvest, we can not only advance our own
growth and light energy but also our healing. As we heal, accept and learn
to value those things that we in times before thought limiting or nonsense
we too can learn to love and share more freely in this life; creating more positive
manifestations for our current reality.
Through the looking glass of time, I was blessed with a beautiful opportunity to face
self for the birth of a new reality. One where, my heart would no longer carry the fear
it had for so many life times but instead would call out to the heavens and LEAD my
current incarnation. There is only so much wisdom we are allowed to gather at one
given time, and with each drop of this wisdom we must always realize that the birthing
of our new reality will not come without first a death… Here is where we must have
CERTAINTY and KNOW that we are not alone. Perhaps we cannot see all that is to
come to pass with each choice we make, however the Creator can!
“Even the wisest cannot tell that a mirror shows many things. Things that were, things that are and things that have not come to pass.” (Galadriel, Lord of the Rings)
Recently I experienced truly being made love to. A deep penetration and opening into a transformative healing bliss. It has been years since I felt anything remotely close to this event and if I am completely honest with myself I believe that I perhaps have never been touched so deeply by such pureness before.
I read once in a David Deida book (uncertain which one) that a woman will stay in love with a man even though they are no longer physically together until another man can penetrate her deeper with his love then the prior. Deida is NOT referring to the size of a man’s cock here; he is referring to the ability to open a woman into love. Sometimes a man will use all his tools to do this but the most important one is his heart. Connecting heart chakra to heart chakra he breathes’s into his woman. Causing her to be breathless and surrender into something deeper than a physical connection. Sex is not always needed for this depth of loving. Matter a fact, as I am about to share my tale with you, the connection and trust building, unconditional loving that happens without the sexual union is profound and very Tantric.
“Being of curious nature and having my soul cry out for me to follow my heart and explore what I already knew was there but was having trouble logically explaining I decided to be daring and have lunch with a young man who had captivated me from the first time we met. This was not our first lunch. It was obvious that we had shared feelings toward each other; yet I am curious with caution. We ate, we enjoyed conversation, we looked into each other’s eyes and we laughed at each other’s silliness and imperfect joke telling skills. Nerves a wreck for both parties. As the time went by the sexual energy heated up between us without physical connection or words to help guide it. It just was there. Not long later, I found myself feeling alive; it was an incredible energetic vibration of life force that took over my whole being, stronger than any energy that I experience in my session work even. There I lay, on my back, breathless from his kisses. Wanting him to take me, wanting to be fucked wide open by this man. Wanting him to heal my wounds with his love. To penetrate me in ALL ways. And scared out of my mind of what that could mean. Each kiss brought with it more depth, more connection. His hands on my face, in my hair, touching my neck. His body leaning on mine as he braced himself over me. I could feel all of him wanting to be with me physically. His arousal at that level was only elevating my own.
Time seemed to stop. The world and all that it would have us long to achieve no longer mattered. As he pressed himself into me withhis heart chakra I felt myself. I have been birthing myself for some time now, but in this moment with his presence and ability to hold space and give powerful love I truly discovered a deep abiding love. It has always been in there, it is there for each of us. As the tears swelled in my eyes, and gently slid down my cheeks I could feel soft rain drops from his eyes cascading down on me as well. I opened my eyes to look into his. A smile on his face, his chest hot from the energy passing between us. I could feel the protective shields of my heart being circumcised and my nakedness of soul as Rumi would poetically title it being revealed. Was I revealing myself in total vulnerability to him in this moment? Yes. But more importantly I was seeing myself for the first time in a long while. There we were two physically separate beings yet I felt as though I had remembered and returned home to the deep being that I already was. I was united with this man, with the world and all her peoples. It was unity of soul. Each beat of my heart stripping away the clothes of my stories.
The pain in my chest was almost unbearable in this moment. I could feel my heart literally bursting in the light of love. I could feel him connected and his heart reacting similar. My chest soft, my lips slightly open. This bliss, this pain of circumcision that was healing, cleansing my core being was divine. It was pure and it was unconditional loving. Our souls seeing themselves in another and entwining in this dance, loving us wide open if we were willing to allow it.”
The depth of intensity and love found between us in this moment exceeded what our world is taught to believe love is. The physical act of sexing was not needed. We were experiencing oneness, a deep caring and seeing ourselves within each other. Through this reunification of ours souls we each sailed in new waters,
discovering that the waves of love we felt toward each other were always
harbored within ourselves. The truth of this love was revealed in this moment because we could each step outside of our selfish natures of ego and love penetratingly without the need for sexual release.
99.9% of our world believes that they are in love when in fact they are in desperate need. This is because we have been lead to believe that love is all about us and our needs. When in fact need is the exact opposite of actual true love. They could not contradict each other anymore. When we try and fulfill our own needs instead of find love we search for love in all the wrong places, find ourselves attracted to all the wrong people, unhappy and unfulfilled within our relationships. Our hunt to satisfy our needs masked by the beautiful thought of love causes our destruction; it is the root to divorce and break ups; pain and anger.
According to the ancient spiritual technology of Kabbalah the mystery of love can be broken down within the word itself: LOVE
Let’s look at the numbers. A.K.A Numerology. Now I know that many of my
readers may not even believe in such a supposed hocus pocus thing as
numerology, but please just humor me here.
Have you ever taken a sip of distilled water? Distilled water is free of all impurities. A process called distillation, which involves boiling the liquid and letting the steam condense into water again, filters out all contaminants. The end result is untainted, undeniably thirst-quenching H20.
This is the same as numerology. Through the process we can distill words down to their purest meanings. Numerology teaches us that every word has a numeric value associated with it, based on the letters it contains. This value enables us to grasp and understand the inherent meaning of the word.
When we as humans try to define love, we do so through the lens of personal experience. The benefit of numerology is that it leaves nothing to interpretation.
In the ancient language of Aramaic, a pure and original root language the word love has the numerical value of thirteen. The word ONE has the same numerical value as well as the word CARE. Let’s look at these three words and what their essential bond is. “When we experience oneness – when we truly care for another as we care for ourselves – this is love.” (Kabbalah on love by Yehuda Berg) In order to do this we have to be willing to open ourselves. This means to become vulnerable and seen. We more importantly have to be willing to see the mirror image of our soul in another. This is the breaking down of the labeling of separateness that we have been programmed to see. The love we each hope and search for has never been anywhere outside of ourselves, but the way we can experience this great love of self is revealed in the mirror while we lay in the arms of our lover.
As we soul gaze and take in the light reflections in their eyes we see the twinkle of our light flashing back at us. Each time we place our hand on their chest and breathe deeply, feeling their heart beats and flesh we are actually feeling our own. We may each carry a heart in a physical form but we come to realize that we are not the sole owners of this beautiful powerhouse of energy and love as we give it away in a soul union kiss. The courage it takes for us to do this is far greater than any maiden forced to walk a plank on a pirate’s ship. The fear of rejection, the fear of loss, the fear that what we feel and are seeing in another could be stripped away in a moment with the loss of this being. What are we to do if we give our heart to another and they decide somewhere down the road we are walking on that they want to take a different path with someone else? What if they die? Certainly we too will die. It is in times like this that we find our strength in the acceptance of the reality that we cannot lose our heart, our love or our soul. We will never lose this other beautiful manifestation of the divine that we found ourselves captivated by and sharing this life with. We cannot because we are all ONE. Through the true unity of mankind to each other and to the universe around us we can experience even in great times of sorrow a greater depth of love. We see how each moment with this person significantly impacted our life and allowed us to meet ourselves at a level that we would have not if they had not helped us to circumcise our heart.
We only lose out on this perfect true love if we start building the walls of the prisons and installing soldiers to stand guard again at the fortress of our heart. Only then do we block ourselves from the purity of what has ALWAYS been with us. The purity and divinity of God’s love, OUR love, the love of our soul-mates.
Remaining open and willing to walk the path, no matter how scary it may be is the ONLY way to assure our resurrection of self, our ascension to a higher state of conscious loving while in our mortal physical realm.
Stop and take a moment today to look in the mirror and ask yourself: “Have I loved?”
Stop settling for the superficial Hollywood love. You want richness, intimacy, desire and fulfillment. You want to feel yourself loving and sexing. You want to feel yourself plunging deeper into your relationships and being embraced by the mirror of your soul, your lover.
It is time for man to connect his cock and heart and realize that to open a woman into love you have to touch her heart first. Connect there; breathe with her, look her in the eyes without expectation of sex. Go deeper. Press yourself into her with your soul and breathe. Leave your erection for playtime another day. Lead your woman with your masculine energy into her heart where she will open and embrace yours. As she opens here so will her body physically. She will pull you into her and ask you to dance in her universe. She will beg you to take her physically and she will weep in your arms in sheer bliss knowing that you loved her first with your heart and soul.
Often I look around while driving to the office at other people in the rush hour traffic. Some are sitting in their cars talking on cell phones or texting, surfing the net. Others are tapping their fingers on the steering wheel listening to music or just find themselves a tad irritated with the daily grind of another work day and the traffic that comes with it.
Whatever each person is physically doing does not matter nearly as much as the energy that they are doing it with or the look upon their face. So many people are scowling and look totally captured in stressful thought. Worried about a business deal, a proposal or presentation. Will they arrive to work on time or will they be reprimanded for being late, regardless of the fact that there was a 5 car pileup that morning. They sip their coffee or energy drinks as they slinky themselves along the freeway lanes in anguish that yet it is another day where they feel that time would be better spent watching a dead flower grow. Comfort comes in their titles and pay checks. In these they can point and say “I am important.” Never acknowledging their true selves but instead the labels that life has given them.
It does not end at work either. This same dull drum carries into the home front. Into the marriages and intimate relationships that we all value so much. We walk in the doors of our cozy homes, our children playing video games, doing homework, watching TV or off on a date with someone, our spouses tired from a long day of duties themselves. We try to not bring our work home so that we can have quality focused time with the people that we love the dearest. Yet often we are feeling pressure to finish some detail of something and find ourselves distant and un-present with our families. If we are single then we work until the wee hours of the morning on a project wishing that when we turn around we would see this incredible creature that can see us for us and loves us unconditionally lying in bed waiting for our body to curl up next to theirs.
In the end of our lives if we are not careful to listen to our hearts and souls quiet music that they guide us with, we may find ourselves
bewildered, unfulfilled and full of regrets. One NEVER regrets living more! One
does not regret experiencing more or making love more. One regrets lost
opportunities. Caving to fear and to social boundaries. One regrets smothering the voice of spirit when the Virus Question is posed at different points of life. The questions that rise up from the depths our souls and cause us to feel butterflies or upset stomachs, nervousness and fear or excitement, these are the questions
that are presented from soul to the logical mind for a reason. The reason comes
back to truly embracing life. Living the experience of life that we were
designed to live.
So what is the “Virus Question” and why is it a virus?
It all comes down to railroad tracks. If you go to the train station today or Google on line, you will learn that the distance between railway tracks is ALWAYS 143.5 centimeters, or 4 feet 8 and half inches. Why is it this measurement?
A: When the first train carriages were built they used the same tools that had been used to build horse-drawn carriages. So why that distance between the wheels and the carriages?
A: Because that was the width of the old roads along which the carriages had to travel. But who decided the width of the roads anyway?
And here is where we do a tad bit of time travel or time warping, quantum jumping, etc. etc. We have to plunge ourselves back into the distant era where soldiers wore short white dresses, had strong sexy backs and legs, and carried upon their heads beautifully designed protective shields (picture Russell Crow or Brad Pitt ladies). A time where Cesar was the ruler of the whole world and Rome was at its center.
The Romans were the great road builders who decided to make
the roads that width. But why?
A: Because their war chariots were pulled by two horses, and
when placed side by side, the horses they used at the time took up 143.5
So think of this when you look at today’s railroad tracks.
The tracks that our state-of-the-art high speed trains use were determined by
the Romans over 2000 years ago.
When ships came to the great America’s to settle the lands
and in time the English settlers decided that they needed to build a railway
that could cover the United States, it did not occur to them to change the
width and so it stayed that way and is that way still today. The effect of the
distance between the tracks determined by the Romans even had a significant
impact on the building of our space shuttles. American engineers thought that
the fuel tanks should be wider, but the tanks were being built in Utah and had
to be transported by train to the Space Center in Florida, and the tunnels
could not take anything wider. So they had to accept the measurement that the
Romans had decided was the ideal.
Now you may find this tale very interesting or be wondering
what the hell I am even talking about it for, and you most certainly are
wondering how the Romans road building has any effect on our marriages and
relationships at all or on any part of our personal lives, since most of us do
not personally use the train system unless we live in a major city center or
have a job with the railroad.
It has everything to do with marriage and relationships.
Especially those that are supposed to be “love-relationships.”
Somewhere along the line someone in our world history stood
up to the plate and said, “When two people get married, they must stay frozen
in time. They must stay like that for the rest of their lives. Till death do
they part. You will move along side by side like two railroad tracks, keeping always
that same distance apart. Even if sometimes one of you needs to be a little
farther away or a little closer, that is against the rules. “
Rules: Be sensible. Think of the future. Think of the
You can’t change; you must be like two railway tracks that remain the same distance apart all the way from their point of departure to their destination. The rules don’t allow for love to change, or to grow at the start and diminish halfway through, it is too dangerous. And so, after the enthusiasm of the first few years, they maintain the same distance, the same solidity, and the same functional nature. Your purpose is to allow the train bearing the survival of the species to head off into the future: your children will only be happy if you stay just as you were – 143.5 centimeters apart. If you’re not happy with something that never changes, think of them, think of the children you brought into this world.
Think of the neighbors. Show them that you’re happy, eat roast
beef on Sundays, watch television, and help the community. Think of society.
Dress in such a way that everyone knows you’re in perfect harmony. Never glance to the side, someone might be watching you, and that could bring temptation; it could mean divorce, crisis, depression.
Smile in all the photos. Put the photos in the living room, so that everyone can see them. Cut the grass, practice a sport, — oh, yes, you must practice a sport in order to stay frozen in time. But when sports are not enough, have plastic surgery. But NEVER forget that these rules were established long ago and MUST be respected. Who established the rules? That does not matter. DO NOT question them, because they will always apply, even if you don’t agree with them. (adapted from The Zahir by Paulo Coelho)
These factious rules that the majority of our society abides
by are not designed to handle the up roaring of the “Virus Question” though.
At some point in life we may stop and look in the mirror, see
a glimmer of the person we use to be and the dream we once had and find
ourselves looking over our shoulder at the view of this white picket fence life
asking: Why am I unhappy?
Our governments, our religions, our bosses, our friends,
neighbors and families do not want us asking this question. Because it carries
with it the virus that will destroy everything. It means we want to find out
what makes us happy. If we find the courage to ask it and to look ourselves in
the eyes and feel our hearts answer, we will discover most likely that what
makes us happy is different from what we are living now, then we must either
change once and for all or stay as we are, feeling even more unhappy because we
The glimmer of that life that we long to live. The adventures we long to explore, the passions we long to full fill and the love we long to fully open up to can all be acquired within a moment’s thought if we are
willing to hear the call of the soul and charge forth like a couragous Roman soldier facing his enemy on the field. In the same thought we can crush our own hopes and dreams, our passion and take our love away that wants to be harvested and shared unconditionally by smothering it in a wool sack like dirty laundry. Not fit for the rules of the life that we are living. After all the rules ALWAYS apply and they were established long ago by who knows who. It does not matter. All that matters is that we realize that we must do what is civilized and within the boundaries of the box that we reside.
You will never experience true ecstasy or your true self, let along the openness and full union in love with another if you are not willing to break the rules.
It is not until you walk through the shadows of darkness and
fear no evil, when you know that your inner light and strength will guide and
comfort you, that all the fear and shackling of society through the embracing
of mediocrity will do nothing but cause the chaos, the divorce, the depression
and gloom that we all try to hide from that you can actually realize this:
“When I have nothing more to lose, I will be given everything. When
I cease to be who I am, I will find myself. When I experience humiliation and
keep walking, I will understand that I am ALWAYS free to choose my destiny.”
The question of “why am I unhappy?” may carry with it the
virus of change, but better to be taken over by such an illness and be healed
from a life of quiet desperation then to believe we are not sick and die of a
cancer that is eating up our nations and our world from the inside out.
You are free. You are free to choose your destiny. You are
free to choose life, love and the pursuit of happiness. You are free to be
happy and you are free to investigate why you are not.
As Dante wrote in The Divine Comedy, “The day that man allows
true love to appear, those things which are well made will fall into confusion
and will overturn everything we believe to be right and true. “
“The world will become real when man learns how to love;
until then we will live in the belief that we know what love is, but we will
always lack the courage to confront it as it truly is.
Love is an untamed force. It is a rule breaker. When we try
and control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us.
When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused. This
force is on earth to make us happy, to bring us closer to God and to our
communities, to ourselves. Yet the way we love now brings us an hour of anxiety
for every minute of peace.” – Paulo Coelho
We must transform our love into the love that the creator
intended it to be. Open and unconditional. All embracing, with not prison bars,
no rules of proper educate, and no attachments of expectations.
Enjoy the romantic love that flourishes your environment at the start of a new relationship. But open yourself to the realization that all this flutter and rose tinted glasses is only a taste of the love that dwells inside of your very being. It is not a magic spell, it is not a manifestation from the one you are feeling all warm and cuddling about. It is YOU opening to ecstasy. “Ecstasy is the final stage of intimacy with yourself… It is a shift in perception in which direct contact with spirit is made.” (Deepak Chopra) Through the integration of our bodies, minds, hearts and souls we can fully realize that we are not only the great challous of this love, but we are also the sweet nectar that fills it. We are not singular, we are plural. We are all part of the Christ-consciousness matrix that is awakening to Divine Love. And once we awaken we will redesign our railways, perhaps we will even come to the conclusion that stiff metal tracks are not even required to get us to our life destinations. Instead we may invest in parachutes so that we can fully be embraced by the heart throbbing experience called Life.
Our lives are based on physical laws. When we let go of an apple in mid air it will fall to the earth. This is gravity. Years pass and our flesh reveals the time it has spent here on this beautiful planet. Our blood flows through veins and if we consume too much of the wrong foods then it cannot flow properly and will cause us numerous health issues. These are all basic, common and sound physical events that happen to our human bodies.
From a higher level, from our soul level, ALL is possible though. From here we can manifest good health, harmonic relationships, success in all areas that we long for. And it is from this higher self that we can become an Alchemist. Through our breaking free of the boundaries of our brothers and sisters, un-locking the chains of our life programming and through not belief, but certainty in our Divinity (that we are children of God, created in the image and with the same longing to share and create) we can then walk the spiritual path of the wizard.
Throughout time witches have been believed in. During the Middle Ages any woman who had her own thoughts and practiced a life of living off the earth, using herbal remedies and understood certain physical laws and ancient rituals was most likely condemned for being a witch. Yet the ancient civilizations where all our base religions come from all had “medicine men/women” “Priestesses” and “Wise women/men” to name just a few. AKA Witches.
Now I am not suggesting that we all submerge ourselves into the Craft here and take up Wicca, however there are many wonderful sacred rituals and healing remedies found on this path. What I am suggesting we all do is become our own alchemist. Learn to create the life we want. As James Arthur Ray says it, “All goals are spiritual goals, including abundant material wealth and mind-blowing sex.”
Tantra is a most perfect place to start with these spiritual goals! Our sexual energy can be cultivated to not only help but TRANSFORM our lives. When we have learned how to honor, and unconditionally love another, when we have worked through levels of blockages and have allowed our lover to see us, beautiful, open and vulnerable just the way God see’s us then we can step forth and channel our intense sexual feelings into manifesting a lifestyle and life goals that we mutually want and envision. In order to achieve this however we must first open ourselves to healing. In healing there are no promises, there is no room for expectations or controls. When we decide that we are tired of living a life dictated by everyone else and our ego (which normally rules us through fear and doubt) then we can open the window to some fresh air and discover our selves. Under the veils of pain, discomfort, fear, doubt, regret and loneliness lye a life worth living. Not surviving, but Ecstatically Living! Yes, you have to believe that YOU deserve it. You have to FORGIVE yourself. You have done nothing wrong. You have only been the puppet with your ego being the puppeteer. You are human. We all have these shackles and they are only shackles if we see them as such. As John Milton said, “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” Here is where so many of us reside. We can have so many blissful things in our life and yet we focus on the hell that is before our face. We allow our Satan, our ego to rise up and cut our beautiful legs out from underneath us. Focused on one particular human failure that most likely will be a blessing shortly down the road, we sabotage our dreams. We then become the dark alchemist of our lives. Black magic swirls around us under the label of “bad luck.” Our friends and associates, even family may have sympathy or empathy for what we are going though, they may even lend a helping hand, but it is rare that someone will walk into our lives as we walk this path of the dark night of the soul (which can rise up at any point in our lives and can last what seems like a life time) and say, “You Manifested this Shit! Now it’s time to Transform it.” Yes, I said that. You manifested the shit in your life. The first step to healing is realizing that we manifest ALL the things in our lives. The good, the bad and the ugly. We are the creators of our destinies. If you want to be sitting on a beach in Cancun with the lover of your dreams and money in the bank, good relationships abound and ecstatic adventures galore hen YOU’RE THE ONLY one stopping it from happening.
Now don’t beat yourself up. Remember be gentle with yourself, your only human. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Learn your heart and listen to your soul. That quiet voice, which is your guide.
Once you allow yourself healing and acceptance you can then embark on a most divine adventure of a life time. The road of the magician. This path has many starting points and much scientific, religious support. Many of the greats in our past practiced one form of “magic” or another. From Jesus and Buddha to Einstein and Edison, these men all understood that they had to tap into the 99% reality. The part of our reality that we do not physically see but affects our lives far more than the 1% that we are aware of. This 99% is the matrix. It is the soul level. It is “heaven” where God creates and where we too can play. Dreams, phenomenon’s, spirits and quantum physics all start in the 99%.
In tantra we can learn what is called Sexual Magic. This is where we bring our ecstasy to a powerful point with another and through our lovemaking create magic. During orgasm, we sometimes see stars, lights, a feeling of being sent into orbit. We touch a place within ourselves that has no boundaries or limitations. We have a feeling of infinite possibilities, a sense of wholeness and joy. Creative power and Divinity. The only issue is that the orgasm does not last very long. And often we start our lovemaking with a sense of non-openness. We are not whole hearted when we engage in the magical act. But once we heal then we can come into this place with a higher energetic level of being and with our partner create a life worth living ecstatically. This pure, raw sexual energy is alive and creative. It wants to be harvested. It wants to be played with. It is not serious and controlled. It is free!
As we learn to tap into this energy and practice Tantric techniques to help allow longer, full body orgasm along with gaining understanding of the power of our thoughts and that we are all beings of energy then, then we have put on our witches hats and picked up our Merlin wands.
Be the Alchemist of Beauty and Light in your life!
~ Step out of the social currents that normally swirl around
you, causing chaos and disorientation.
~Decide RIGHT NOW to live your life CONSCIOUSLY, Deliberately,
and with a clear intent to manifest what you need and desire.
~Have the courage and determination to know that you are
responsible for your life. Take back the power that you have given to your ego
and others out of the desire to conform, please, or do the “civilized” or “proper”
~Reserve YOUR Divine spiritual right to use your sexual
energy to transform your life and live as a fully Orgasmic human being.
The heat barreled over the fields making each breath feel heavy in its weight. The day was quickly passing, yet the sun was still high in the summer sky. We quickened our pace down the freeway to our exit that would direct us to the small deserted farm road that we now refer to as the Road Less Traveled. Excitement grew between Duncan and me as we had been planning our Sunflower adventure for a few weeks. The last time checked upon the field was bright in color, filled with the tall powerful stalkiness of the sunflowers.
However schedules did not permit us to visit the field and the summer heat had
quickly taken its toll upon the once massive flowers we longed to parade in and develop a Tantric session around. Once focused on the blooming flowers and the 3rd chakra along with the power of not only mother Earth but the sun as well, we now found ourselves amidst a field of sunflowers begging to be harvested. They drooped in the afternoon heat, the earth cracking apart beneath their leaves and losing her grip on their roots. At first there came a feeling of loss over me. How beautiful the session would have been if we had not waited, how dry and non-colorful the field looked now. I wondered if our time and ideas had all been lost. But as I turned and looked into Duncan’s sparkling green eyes, I could see his inner child awakening. There was but only one comment from him that shared my feeling of loss and then he quickly diverted his energy into manifesting and harvesting another Divine Adventure.
Standing at the back of the jeep, I slowly was guided in revealing
myself as god had created me. Bear, beautiful and full of life. I could feel
the great mother’s energy coming up through me, rooting directly to my core, to
my heart. Deep breaths relaxed me as the hot summer breeze swirled around and made small dust cyclones on the Road Less Traveled. Butterflies danced in lovemaking among the tall spears of grass and Duncan, large smile gleaming from his face as he opened the Crayola Finger paints.
Hmmm…he looked at my flesh as though I was a canvas and he was a kindergarten boy eagerly awaiting the teachers go ahead to get messy and
Yellow, then red.
A large flower center was being created upon my chest and bosom. Then the yellow petals would have to be formed, the cool paint and his fingers gliding across my warm flesh caused chills to shoot up my spine. Once he had painted a large sunflower on my front he grabbed the green paint. It was time for the leaves and stem. Brushing across my abdomen and over my hips, leaves were opening themselves to the afternoon sun on my very flesh. His artist’s fingers danced and swirled down my thighs, calves and ankles. Moments later he had happily made his way to my back side, yellow and red paints in hand again. This time I could feel him painting the centers of many flowers on my back, then the petals, leaves and grasses had to formed. Duncan’s motions changed during the process. He went from the youthful finger painter to an ancient warrior painter as he created the grasses that covered my rear and back of my legs. Stepping back he examined his work. Then proceeded to move forward in the moment and ask me if I were ready to explore the field?
The dirt cracked in the baking sun with each step. My feet were singed to the earth’s crust, feeling as though I was walking across hot coals I could not make up my mind weather faster or slower movement was better. Once adrift in the middle of the sunflowers my feet found refuge in the shade of some leaves. Grasshoppers skipped by the dozens from stalk to stalk, creating their beautiful grasshopper music that merged with the locust chirp. The wind blew across the field, Duncan and I looked out over the drooping flowers. They seemed so sad as they finished their journey in this life. We wondered what or even if they would be harvest for.
A sea of trodden weeping flowers, waiting for their rebirth. Much like mankind, each flower growing where it was planted, some sharing seeds and pollen with passer bys who would carry it and plant seedlings in new lands. Dependant on the earth and on controlled environment and feeding schedules of the farmers, each sunflower a captive in its own field of gold. Moments passing, the rising of the sun, the setting of the moon, a thunderstorm that blows in grasses to share the soil and maybe even a drink of rain water. The once proud, strong and full of life green stems and leaves now covered in age and dust. The yellow glowing faces that turned and smiled in the sun light now almost stripped barren of their
beautiful petal mains. The dark center where all of life for its kind was once housed now taken over by bugs who drained the last bit of life energy from its
Walking through the sunflower field my hands washing across the tops of each plant, I could not help but look at the parallels of this world longing to be harvested and re-birthed and that of my own.
Years pass, time takes its toll on our physical bodies. Our relationships change, our children come and grow, then venture off to new lands without us. Many of us find ourselves trapped in a job that pays our bills and supports our livelihood but does not contribute to our passion. Our purpose. We are prisoners, enslaved to the dollar bill and the environment it helps maintain for us. Our prison guards are those “bosses” and laws/rules that tell us how to do our jobs, what to be enthusiastic about and how pleasurable our lives can be. We are tied down to the tracks of the 1% reality with a wooden horse full of nightmares headed right at us. At the end of our lives we may have saved some money, we may have purchased a house and even done some world travel. Perhaps we maintained a marriage of 30 years or perhaps we married and divorced five times. When the sun sets on our lives we too find ourselves like these very sunflowers, our bodies weak and graying, our once proud demeanor now humbled by the need to be cared for like a small child and the life that once held the potential of the universe in its very hands and dreams now the haven to fear of the passing and regret of the past.
Holding onto memories, not wanting to let out of our grasp a moment in time, hoping that if we can but only slow time down then we could enjoy life, then we would be happier, more fulfilled and able to truly open up to love. But time does not wait for any of us and moments keep on moving. We were never intended to hold on, but instead to transform. To awaken to the beauty of the harvest season of life and the re-birth of our soul.
There is a time to rend and a time to sew; Live today, allow your beautiful petals to bask in the sunshine of your life. No matter how difficult it may appear to be or how incredible it may seem, awaken to your true purpose. Heal, Love and Transform! Be the ripple in the energy current of the world that opens the doorway of a new reality for all.
Plant, Tend, Harvest your dreams. Your REALITY!
*View the full gallery of Sunflower pictures on the Photo Tab.
*Read about Playing On The Road Less Traveled (our grounding adventure)