DESIRABLE DOES NOT MEAN ACCEPTED.

DESIRABLE DOES NOT MEAN ACCEPTED.

 

Today I was speaking to a man that told me that he thought that I was a highly desirable woman.

 

Yesterday I was having lunch with a man who told me that he just thinks that the rest of the world looks at me the way he does and sees me in that way.

 

A few days ago, I was working with a man who said, “Wow, if I could just find someone like you.”

 

Last week an old lover of mine told me that he never stopped desiring and loving me.

 

And a few years ago a man who crept into my space and heart told me how desirable I was, and he did so daily for some time.

Prior to him, there were a few more men who claimed the same.

And they all said that they loved me for who I was,

for my radiance, my glow, my light.

They loved how playful and turned on I was to life.

They loved witnessing me with my family,

and watching me teach classes.

They loved my out of the box ways, even though it made them breathe, because they knew that it meant that they needed to grow and that they wanted to be a better man by being around me.

 

All of these men said that I awoke them to a greater understanding of who they were,

I brought desire back into their lives,

and they never expected that from a relationship in this way.

 

Each of these men,

beautiful, dynamic men,

from my past are just that…

from my past.

 

They are not in my current nor in my future,

and even though I hold great love and gratitude for each of them for the lessons that we shared and what they awoke inside of me,

they all share one thing in common outside of believing that I am desirable.

 

And that is that they could not ever fully accept me.

Yes that highly desirable woman,

that goddess on her knees,

that siren in the bedroom,

that nurturing caring woman who loves her family dearly,

that coach, presenter, teacher who has passion without edge for her work,

that outspoken, take no shit,

got no f-cks left to give about how you view me desirable woman,

who loves to play, has a big heart,

struggles with her own insecurities and fears,

her own lack of worthiness and shame,

but does her damn work each and every day,

because that is the only thing that keeps her going strong.

 

Yes that desirable woman.

They could not really embrace.

 

They loved all those pieces,

they wanted me to hold them up,

to be all of me.

To shine as bright as the north star in the heavens.

And loved the light that cascaded down on them.

 

But they could not handle it.  They feared it in truth.

That highly desirable woman.

well there was one great issue they had not conceived of yet,

 

that on their arm there I was.

Still highly desirable,

not just by them but by many.

and because my light attracted others,

this they feared.

so without understanding,

they all chose their own way to hide from the light,

or maybe better to dim the light as to make it not as attractive to all the competition.

 

And so the timeless story of boy meets girl,

boy falls in love with girl,

boy gets girl,

boy kills girl,

goes.

 

Not an actual physical death in my case,

but a killing of my radiance over time.

Through fear, shame, guilt, manipulation and falsities,

These men of my past have all fallen prey.

In their deep love and admiration of all that I am and can be,

they could not stand in the light and feel strong in the knowledge that others saw it too.

 

And so they ventured to take the star down from the heavens to keep it safe.

Not understanding that it was the death of the star or of the relationship with the star.

 

Now, some of these men would tell you that they fully accepted me, others would be more truthful and admit that it was too much for them,

they all would say that they had no desire to actually put out or even dim the light.

Because they loved that light and they all wanted me to be the best me that I could ever be.

 

They would tell you that it was not me that they did not fully accept, it was instead some of my ways, some of my beliefs, some of my desires or needs.

 

They would tell you that I triggered their past wounds.

They would tell you that I triggered their insecurity.

They would tell you that I was too outspoken, or out of the box in my relating.

They would tell you that it takes a lot to hang with me,

to breathe into some of the conversations that happen on a daily, moment to moment basis,

or that my flirty natural state of being was concerning.

They would tell you all of these things.

And they would say it was those things that caused the issues.

 

And I say what about those things are any different then the list above that you loved and desired so?

 

Oh yes,

it is the triggers, the wounds, the fears and insecurities.

 

That is what is different.

 

And therefore these beautiful, lovely, dynamic men of my past simply could never accept me for their own inner saga of thoughts turning to emotions and leading down the path of needing me to “just not be so bright.”

 

Well at least not so bright for anyone but them.

Just shine on me.

 

 

because it was the competition,

the fear of losing the highly desirable woman that they had on their arm and in their bed that was actually the issue.

And since that was linked to me,

Well the solution was simple…

 

STOP BEING SO DAMN DESIRABLE.

 

Surely then they would feel safe.

They would be happy.

They could feel strong, stable and confident.

Just so long as I was not so desirable.

So bright.

So wanted by others.

 

Change who you are babe,

but don’t change a thing.

 

Be you 100% babe,

just don’t make me feel insecure by being you.

 

Be confident, playful, sexy babe,

but only behind closed doors where others will not want for you.

 

I love the way you look babe,

But don’t look that way in public.

 

Yes these lovely men from my past,

love them I certainly do,

and so many men out there believe that they love their highly desirable woman fully as well,

but I ask you if that is true?

 

Can you feel strong and confident in her presence?

Can you feel strong and confident in the knowing that she is wanted by others but chooses you?

Can you feel your power more intensely by being with her,

or do you shake inside and feel the need to fight to keep all others at bay?

 

Does her beauty and intelligence scare you?

Her lack of need shakes fear to your core?

Does the fact that you cannot control her fluster and irritate?

 

These are the questions my love.

These you must answer truthfully,

for if you answer in accordance to keep her but it is not your truth,

you will only lose her all  the quicker.

 

THE DESIRABLE IS OFTEN NOT ACCEPTED,

This is the reality of life.

 

we desire to alter to our wishes,

believing that we can hold it without question,

believing that we have what it takes,

and so we lie about our truth,

we fall prey to fear and triggers,

but we forget that the answer is always the same…

 

unconditional love and acceptance,

is the foundation to everything beautiful and long term.

It cannot be forced.

It can not be faked.

 

You either have it or you don’t and if you don’t it means that you need to go within and find it for yourself before you can ever proclaim it for another.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

*Photo Credit @DandeLionImages

Nudity Provides Health Benefits for Your Body and Brain

Is clothing crushing us? Are we trapped in tomb-like textiles, exiling our flesh from experiencing the environment? Are we atrophying our epidermis, our senses, our neuro-intelligence?

If you put a plaster cast on a broken arm the skin starves for Vitamin D, the muscles weaken due to strangled range of motion, the nerve synapses depress to a whimper of their former joy. Twenty-first century hominids? We shroud our entire skin palette except for face, neck and hands – we obliterate symbiosis with the planet.

We hide in cocoons, when we could be free as butterflies.

History reveals many cultures that were not clothes-minded. Spartans were basically bare and their victories in pan-Hellenic sports competitions enticed all neighboring Greeks to exercise nude, creating the word “gymnasium” (Greekgymnos = naked). Romans mingled in magnificent bathhouses, enjoying dense communal nudity as they drank, dined, defecated, bathed, read books, argued politics, and watched theater.  Adamists — naked heretics — performed stripped-down church services in North Africa, Bohemia, the Netherlands, and England. Pre-Hitler Germans were avid adherents of Freikorperkultur (“Free Body Culture”) with 70,000 attending co-ed Nacktkultur schools.

There’s naked Japanese in hot springs, naked Finns in saunas, “sky-clad” Jain monks in India, plus millions of nudists worldwide going to “Nakation” camps, beaches, and resorts. They’re still sporty as Spartans, eager to hike naked (“free bush rambling”), canoe naked (“canuding”), bicycle naked, ride horses naked, run naked, play volleyball, badminton, ping-pong and chess naked, swim naked, dance naked, do Naked Yoga, Naked Tai Chi, Naked Gardening, Naked Bowling, and of course, many of us, perhaps you and I, dear readers, are NIFOC — Naked In Front of Computers.

Many famous figures were bare-all aficionados; too many politicians to name, so I’ll just list sci-fi and scientists: Leonard Nimoy, Alexander Graham Bell,  Robert Heinlein, and seismologist Charles Richter. Nudism is prominent in Philip Jose Farmer’s Riverworld books and John Varley’s Steel Beach. Celebrities? Many movie stars skinny-dip at the French Riviera, trying to elude paparazzi seeking pix of Bruce WIllis’willy or Natalie Portman’s port side.

Here’s evidence suggesting that skin-only can be superior:

Born Free.  Pediatricians agree that infants thrive with a daily dose of “naked time” because the unhampered range of motion aids brain development, stimulating neuron growth. Recent discoveries reveal that the “plastic” brain changes and develops throughout our entire lives. Neuroplasticity pioneer Michael M. Merzenich believes,  “Everything that you can see happen in a young brain can happen in an older brain.” Doesn’t this imply that “naked time” is equally valuable for humans of any age, especially the elderly?

Weakened Bodies. A 2003 University of Reading study entitled “A Naked Ape Would Have Fewer Parasites” posits that “humans evolved hairlessness to reduce parasite loads, especially ectoparasites that may carry disease.” Unfortunately, the garments we wear can be a breeding ground for filthy fungi and bad bacterium, causing yeast infections, urinary tract infections, rotting toenails. Lyme Disease deer ticks can grab onto our sweaters and sea lice can sneak into our bathing suit crotches. Cinched-up belts, ties, and clothes impede breathing. Men’s snug pants raise testicle temperature, lowering sperm count and fertility.

Barefoot Medicine. Going shoeless is now recognized as an anti-Alzheimer’s, brain-boosting activity because the sole sensation entices your brain into growing extra, efficient neuron connections. Dr. Norman Doidge (author of The Brain That Changes Itself) believes skipping shoes increases brain flexibility and youthfulness, and many podiatrists now advise going barefoot as much as possible. Bare feet are today’s prescription. Will tomorrow’s elixir take the next step: Bare Body?

Superior Socialization. Self-actualization proponent Abraham Maslow believed “Nudism… is itself a kind of therapy.” Health benefits of social nudity include stress reduction, satiation of curiosity about the human body, reduction of porn addiction, a sense of full-body integration and developing a wholesome attitude about the opposite gender. Research at the University of Northern Iowa discovered that nudists have significantly higher body self-acceptance. Another study concluded that teens at a New York nudist camp were “extraordinarily well-adjusted, happy, and thoughtful.” It’s also excellent for children to grow up free of shame about the human body.

Tolerant Views.A University of Central Florida 2008 study of 384 participants concluded that pro-nudity students “were significantly more accepting of other religious groups and gays and lesbians” when compared to the anti-nudity students. They were also “less prejudiced towards ethnically dissimilar others.”

Soothe Away Your Crazies. Massage is recognized as a therapeutic treatment for mental health issues like depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, bipolarism, borderline personality disorder, learning difficulties, and low self-esteem. Theskin stimulation of massage — improving blood flow and detoxifying the lymph system — is duplicated by the warmth, freedom, and improved circulation generated in nakedness.

Soak Up The Rays Vitamin D deficiency is currently soaring, with up to 75% of USA teens and adults receiving insufficient amounts of the “sunshine vitamin.” Lack of this essential health aid is a factor in numerous ailments, including cancer, heart disease, osteoporosis and diabetes. Anyone who bares all outside as a “naturist” harvests larger amounts of Vitamin D in a quicker time span.

Financial Liberation. Clothes are a huge money and time-suck with shopping, laundry, closets, dressers, and gazillions of hours wasted wondering what so-and-so looks like with their garments removed. The global markets for swimsuits alone is expected to reach $17.6 billion annually by 2015; our carbon footprint would shrink like a wool sweater if fabric was no longer manufactured.

Longevity (just joking!). Have you noticed that the furry Norway Rat only lives 2-3 years, while the Naked Mole Rat survives to be 28?

So… is the future going to be full frontal? Will the post-Singularity planet be stripped? Will everyone in a climate-controlled tomorrow choose to be nude, strutting around like the Nuba dancers and boxers of Leni Reifenstahl?

Trends point to an era where there won’t be a stitch to worry about. Many resort areas are are now offering nudism to increase tourism, and American naturist clubs claim their enrollment is growing 20% annually. The German airline OssiUrlaub.de offered nude chartered flights to a Baltic sea resort, and today’s lengthy luggage searches at airports are steering travelers to destinations where they only need carry-on towels and sunblock. Twenty million Europeans already go to nude beaches and spas.

Getting goosebumps imagining it, are you?

Original Posting by  Hank Pellissier on The Immortal Life