NEVER HAVE I EVER BEEN EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN A MAN…

NEVER HAVE I EVER BEEN EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN A MAN…
Until now.
And this is the sad reality of so many relationships, marriages even of today and perhaps of all time.
We want for connection, unconditional love, trust, respect and union of our hearts, minds and souls but when we get down to brass taxes on relationships and our commitment to our said primary partners it is often revealed that the primary is not the primary. The person that we refer to as our primary partner or significant other, our lifemate, or our soulmate typically gets the short end of the stick with our emotional investment.
We give them time,
time that we designate for the relationship such as “date nights” or dinner. We may attend church or concerts with them, we may go to social functions or sit and watch TV.
We give them sex,
mainly because this is what is believed to make primary or significant other just that. Our sex is the piece that no one else gets (unless we are in an open relationship or we are having an affair). And so we rub our bodies together and we give it up. Because that is what we are to do to show our relationship commitment.
We give them support,
typically this is financial support from one partner and house/family/orderly support from the other. However in today’s times most relationships both contribute to finances and even though both try to support the labors of child rearing and chores, one partner will feel as though they carry more of the load then the other.
We give idle conversation and listening.
Simply meaning that we pretend to listen and share.
We talk to our partners about surface level items or responsibilities and we step away from the deeper conversations. The one’s where we are forced to inquire about who we are as a couple and what our long term visions are or what our current challenges are.
And so we have the average and ordinary union of today.
Where emotional investment is at a low, however our understanding of relationship is that it is more about commerce than love and connection. We live in a free trade society where we no longer sell off our daughters and sons to create peace between nations or for the survival of family but instead we barter our own flesh for the best opportunities and then wonder why we are not happy with our outcomes.
We trade our emotional happiness for the richest, hottest, youngest, strongest version of a partner, brainwashing ourselves that we are deeper than this and that we truly love them. However the truth is quickly revealed when we run into any amount of conflict in life.
When this happens we see where our emotional investments really lay and often we discover them with our children, our work, our bank accounts, and even our friends. We will make up excuses and we will point fingers. The blame game will quickly occur and with it couples will turn away from each other. They will apply focus to everything that their partner has ever done wrong, to the mistakes and how they have never felt loved or supported by them. They will make painful statements about how the sex always sucked, they were just doing it out of duty, how they have not been attracked to their mate forever and they will slaughter their partner without hesitation.
All the while saying, “If they really loved me…”
But here is the thing, long before we ever get to this conflict state you can be witness to exactly where one’s emotional investments are.
It’s in the little things.
*Do you make your primary relationship primary every day?
*Do you opt for friends over your partner?
*Do you make your partner feel safe?
*Do you consciously listen and share?
*Do you inquire about your partner’s life outside of you?
*Do you make them feel supported in the little things or when they are not feeling well or feeling stressed?
*Do you laugh together frequently?
*Do you share common goals/dreams/morals/values?
*Can you authentically say that you are the most vulnerable with your partner outside of anyone else?
These questions and many more are insights into a couples bond.
And emotional investment is all about the emotional bond that you consciously are creating.
This bond is not created based on what someone can offer us in finances, prestige or even in how they look or how smart they are, it is based in our heart centers and the heart and soul alignment that we have to someone. It is then supported by the coming together as friends not just lovers. It is enhanced and a foundation is created through the common grounds of united dreams/values/morals/beliefs and goals on all levels of life not just one or two.
And from this space the emotional investment is maintained from both individuals desire to go deeper with their primary partner then any other relationship they have. Both partners must desire to surrender without emotional armour and in total trust and vulnerability to each other.
Otherwise, the relationship will remain surface level and will never be able to solidify trust, commitment and unconditional love.
 
An emotionally invested couple moves together as one unit in life on all fronts, making very aware that they are the center point of gravity for each other and it is their alignment from their cores that does just this.
How does your love rate?
What are some of the areas that you feel challenged in with relationship and how can you best lean into your partner today?
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*S Believers”

ON BECOMING ONE… A PAST LIFE AWAKENING

ON BECOMING ONE…A PAST LIFE AWAKENING

 

Gazing into his steal blue eyes,

tears streaming from his and mine alike.

We were caught in this moment. It was a timeless replay of memories. Ones that we didn’t know existed but felt deep into the very core of our beings.

There we were once again in love, in war, together and fearing the loss of one another.

As I stared deeper into his soul I was taken to a time when we were not who we were in this current moment.

My chest started to ach as though a spear had punchered it.

My breath quickened and I wanted to just move closer to him.

I could feel the storm of a warring nation around us, I could feel the fear of what was to come.

I could feel the penetration of his love from so many lifetimes ago, here now in this moment.

And I could feel our joint pain and suffering. This space between us did not even exist.

My hand wanted to reach out to that spot on his chest that I knew he had tried to protect me with.

That spot where we became one and lost each other in the same moment.

Where the spear had cursed through the bone, through his being and into me.

I could feel him holding me,

his tears streaming down.

His apology that he could not save me.

Save us.

And I thought to myself as I came back to this current moment,

still locked in his loving gaze,

 

“We will not lose one another in this war that is about us. We will not. Our destiny does not have to be replayed through our lifetimes. No matter how many a tale we have that supports, today here in this moment, in this lifetime, in this love we can just become one. We can make love and we can unit. We can hold each other without the fear. Without the regrets. And we can let go of the pain of a thousand years.”

 

I realized that everything that we are moving through is us healing our past lives (and perhaps you don’t believe in such things, but I do and could share many an intriguing story that may change your mind.)

The karmic debt of then,

that must be washed away.

The recognition of our souls and the uniting of our paths.

We are here today in this moment,

entwined in each others arms and souls,

because we are meant to be one.

 

The unity of a soulmate,

a twinflame,

where opportunities throughout lifetimes were lost,

but here and now,

they exist.

And it is our expansion in self,

our learning of our hearts,

our recognizing of our egos,

and the letting go of what has held us back from each other,

that we are here to fully take hold of.

To fully learn from.

 

The concept of becoming one,

the ceremony of marriage is to create this timeless bond,

the coming together before God is to strengthen it.

However the reality is that the majority of marriage,

unity is not true.

It is a forced unity where we commit to someone based on resumes, looks, and ideas.

Where society, family, and friends all tell us that this is good and this is bad, choose him/her or heck no don’t get with them.

And so often we follow the call of others,

so often we base our lives, our commitments and our very marriages on these things that do not create unity.

We choose to ignore our hearts.

We choose to turn away from our intuition,

and we make what we feel are “wise choices” in our lifemates,

only to find ourselves a few steps down the path of the relationship wanting for something more.

Wishing that we had listened to our hearts call that would have taken us another direction,

wondering if we missed that true love.

That soulmate.

But justifying our choices because of society, family, friends, property, safety, religion, etc.

And sacrificing our happiness.

Sacrificing our truth.

 

Here is where so many a marriage resides and what I believe is a culprit to so much unhappiness in the relationship.

When we choose to disregard all those outside influences,

when we choose to look past the resumes, the looks and the ideas of what it should or should not be and just slow down and listen to our intuition with someone,

We are blessed with our truth and what spirit wants us to know about the path with any relationship.

As a society we have trained trust in our gut feelings out of ourselves.

We have brainwashed ourselves to not take heed to our hearts guidance or to how someone makes us feel.

We ignore those soft little nudges that something is wrong in a relationship as well as ignoring or even fearing when something feels so perfect.

 

If you ever wondered what makes a happy couple happy?

What makes some people stick?

What is the secret to having that storybook romance for a lifetime,  where you are turned on, tapped in and fully engaged at all levels of life with someone?

Well here is your answer.

 

When our souls meet another they KNOW if they are a yes or a no to that other soul.

If we are wanting to find “THE ONE” then it is our mission to listen.

 

To our hearts guidance.

To our intuition.

To the soft nudges from our core.

 

And it is our responsibility in love to know that although others may have all the best intentions for us and our lives,

that they cannot feel what aligned to our soul for us.

 

Therefore they have no place trying to direct our path.

 

Love respects the path.

Love yourself,  love your family and friends.

Listen to your soul and mind your tongue with others.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to call in “THE ONE”?

Ready to learn how to still your chaotic mind and the voices from everyone else so that you can have the romance, the love, the partnership that you so desire? Reach out to me today for the consciousness engineering that will set your path firm in 2021 and get ready for your true love to show up.

WHEN SOMEONE WANTS YOU TO BE SOMETHING THEY REFUSE TO SEE WHO YOU ARE…

WHEN SOMEONE WANTS YOU TO BE SOMETHING THEY REFUSE TO SEE WHO YOU ARE…

Over and over again I am reminded of just how blind we humans can be in our relationships.

And then we wonder why people shut down, walk away or get upset with us.

But it is often because we are blinded by our own desires and beliefs of who people are and how we want them or expect them to show up in relationship with us that creates this disharmony.

Recently I have been blessed with the opportunity to witness numerous people in my life sharing with me how they perceive me. Who they think I am, how they think I should react or expect me to react, what they believe my desires are in life, work, and even in my intimate relationships and more.

And it is interesting and saddening to witness these people do just this because I sit here realizing that the reality is that no matter how much I show up differently then what they believe,

no matter how much I communicate who I am RIGHT NOW, or what my desires are, what my boundaries are that they simply cannot hear me and actually believe often that it is not them but me with the communication issues.

Now granted,

I have served my fair share in the land of not communicating well.

I have had my issues with boundaries and stating what I am a F-ck Yes too and what I am a F-ck No too,

and I have moments in my current as well where I drag my feet and try to read between the lines or make the best decision that will cause the least amount of hurt feelings, be the best for someone else and put myself on the back burner….

(I am human and all and get caught in my own crap. Shhhhhh…. I get it…. I know better. I do.)

But at the end of the day,

I have looked my shadow self in the eye many a time,

I have felt into my ego and called it out of the darkness and see it for what it is more frequently then not,

and when it comes to speaking up and out on things,

well often I don’t give two sh*ts and just state it as it is.

So in this understanding of the timid young woman that was the wall flower just a little over  decade ago who would get trampled by many, to the woman that I am today that has a deep understanding that I am only responsible for my emotions, thoughts and actions and I cannot make anyone else happy,

I find myself in awe of so many people in my life who simply refuse to see who I am.

Old lovers, spouses, friends, children and even clients have recently revealed how they are stuck in an older version of me.

To the point that they REFUSE to see or allow any sort of change in my pattern, even when it is so vastly different right in their face.

But WHY IS THAT?

Why do we humans refuse to allow others to change?

Why do we ignore who someone is, trying to become or even acting on being in any area of their life?

The answer in my opinion is pretty f-cking simple…..

BECAUSE IT DOES NOT SERVE OUR BEST INTEREST IN OUR MIND OR DOES NOT GRANT US WHAT WE WANT FROM SAID INDIVIDUAL.

If our drinking buddy who has been our wing man for the last decade suddenly sobers up and gets married,

then where does that leave us?

In our life and choices?

If they start to make changes and different choices that do not support what we are wanting then no matter how happy we may be for them, we find ourselves feeling lost and lonely suddenly.

And the reason is that we are looking for some form of our happiness, our fulfillment to be met by this other person.

And in order for us to have what we want THEY NEED TO STAY OR BE SOMETHING THAT SUPPORTS THIS VERSION of who we want.

It has nothing to do with the other person and everything to do with us.

We can say that we want the best for someone else,

and I have heard that statement a lot over the 100 days,

but when it comes down to it we will tell our loved one that they are overreacting, that they are not seeing things straight, that they are having a midlife crisis, going crazy, are no longer fun or are now being anti-social. We will find fault in their actions, demeanor, thoughts and feelings and when they share who they are and what they want from life we will unconsciously plug our ears, close our eyes and act like a four year old by chanting nah-nah-nah in our heads and never notice that we are doing any of the sort but instead turn around and tell our loved one that they got it all wrong, it’s this way and not that. That they want this or that instead.

To take it to extreme levels,

its like we are raping our loved one’s.

And what I mean by that is that it is like the rapist that tells the woman that she is wet when she is dry and that she is turned on when she is terrified and then thanks her for making him feel so good.

Now granted that I know that this is an extreme,

but the truth is that anytime when we refuse to see who someone is showing up as,  refusing to hear their words and tell them that they are the ones who are not communicating or saying something else, or tell someone that they are just this or that when they are not,  what we are doing is denying that person in totality.

We are making our desires and views of who they are more important than who they really are and we are forcing our will on them.

We all are guilty of doing this in life and in relationships.

First we must recognize this fact.

We are all blind to the people in our lives and we get caught up in who we perceive them to be.

That is why it is so true that perception is reality.

When perception becomes so strong often the person who is making the change falls weak after time and just gives into what “everyone” is saying and believing and the only true way for them to get away from said perceived reality is to fully disconnect from those who are stating it.

So I ask you today,

Where are you believing that you really know someone and in truth are actually not allowing them to be them?

Where is your blindness in the relationship?

And As Always,

Stop Existing And Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Want to know more about how to create dynamic magical relationships based in truth and love? Reach out to me today for 1:1 mentorship now.

So time for some perfectly balanced SEO that breaks the algorithm:

We can include terms like baby shark and pewdiepie to really broaden the audience and then spice it up with some among us and Minecraft crossed with the hit new youtube sensation that is rust on the OTV server featuring twitch funny moments from jackscepticeye. I also have to mention music, asmr and markiplier that are all important terms here on youtube. Let us not forget of course the makeup and fashion community by referencing shane dawson and james charles. Now whilst this is COMPLETE GIBBERISH to most an algorithm is able to pick out the specific key terms in this post and promote it accordingly. So lets support the Kpop stans by mentioning bts and lofi hip hop. We can even talk about some other big channels like mrbeast and dantdm. For some reason in 2020 some of the most searched tags are game of thrones and avengers endgame… Let us of course not forget the most important things of the year like dunke peppa pig and roblox! Time for all the top current searches Among Us – online game, new song 2020, pop smoke and techno gamerz and tubbo smp! Time For todays new aditions in SEO too: Thanos, fifa, joe biden, inauguration, Tommy, sidemen, mod, update, rt game, yogscast, the spiffing brit, game, predator, fortnite update, fortnite predator, boss!

I Love Us In All Our Rawness

I LOVE US IN ALL OUR RAWNESS.
Even though we look between the lines,
we come back to our truth,
to our commitment to keeping it real.
We breathe in deep,
as we let our tears fall,
we feel our hearts as we press ourselves together even tighter than before.
Our frustration,
our fear.
Our love overcomes ALL.
And I am reminded that this is the relationship,
the love that I have always wanted for.
The Raw.
The Real.
The Committed.
I feel my heart swell when I hear you come close,
Your touch ignites me to my core.
The softness of my feminine feels safe in your arms,
as our feet entwine and dance in the night.
I breathe you in as you do I.
Not ever wanting to lose your scent.
And I am at home.
Here in the rawness of my humanity.
Here in the home of our love.
I find peace,
I find comfort,
I find joy.
But you owe me nothing.
And I, the same to you.
I do not ask for you to make me happy.
I only ask for your rawness.
Your core truth.
Your respect, honesty and trust.
I ask for your open communication,
your desire for our intimacy.
To go deeper.
To feel into the valleys and shadows of yourself,
so we can lay here in this rawness of our humanity,
and love fully.
The most sound and beautiful relationships are based on the simplest truth,
that we are not here to make anyone happy,
not even our soulmate.
But we are too meet each other with our own happiness,
our own self-love and respect.
And in this meeting we will unite as a team.
Our bond is based in self.
The coming together of like minds, souls and hearts.
The wanting of common goals.
Beyond desire and passion ( although we have plenty),
We have this river of consciousness,
a friendship,
where there is no questioning,
only knowing.
A knowing that I got you and you I.
We will never be lost at sea,
for we have this love between.
This is a love that can survive anything.
A love that will conquer.
And it is based on our rawness.
It is a product of our commitment.
We have walked through fire and brimstone,
we have laughed under the full moon,
we have been torn at by wolves,
and hunted in the night.
No fire or furry holds a candle to our connection.
As the new day sets upon us,
I am forever reminded,
that this is the love that I have always asked for.
And you are the man I am committed to keep it real with.
———————————————————————–
To all those beautiful, strong and real couples out there,
this is the sorta love that last centuries and storybooks are based on.
Keep it real, raw and committed.
Know yourself first and foremost.
Be strong in who you are,
and know that no matter how long you have been together,
the journey is forever transforming,
always teaching you and molding your love to its most elevated state,
if only you will keep it raw.
Love truly is the greatest teacher of our lives.
From my heart to yours,
keepin’ real and raw with my man.
Always remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
And those who want to keep it REAL!
Want that dynamic relationship?
Reach out to me today for what’s happening with KW Coaching and mentorships in 2021 and how you can change your love life and abundance forever.

If You Ever Loved Someone

WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU SEE WHERE YOU NEED TO EXPAND.
Love is one of the best self-development courses you can ever sign up for.
Love causes us to not want to loose it.
Makes us want to change ourselves to the core.
Love makes us think, “well I can sacrifice this or that, its not that big a deal.”
Love can make us feel like our hearts are being ripped from our chests when we feel that our love is being threatened.
But here is the thing…
Love is one of the best self-development course if we are conscious to what all this ego based fear around it is actually saying to us.
And it certainly is not proclaiming to step away from being whom you are,
To change your core or heart.
To hide your desires,
Your truth,
Your fear,
Your anger,
To stop communicating because you fear confrontation or potential loss.
No that is not what love is teaching.
Love is saying to have faith in it.
Find your courage and strength in it.
To know that in the midst of the storms that can make your heart shake,
That you will still be held.
Love is saying that in these ego reactions that cause us to not feel aligned, happy or just not right in any fashion that we are being offered a great teacher.
The teacher of wisdom to see where we hold ourselves so tight that we cannot see the path back to our hearts.
The teacher that knows that no matter who we are, that we are all still students to life. That we have so much to learn.
The teacher that is aware that we are human,
And make mistakes as those that we love will do as well. And that often in life things are rarely what we think they are.
When you love someone you meet your edge.
You meet your ego.
You meet your darkness and your light.
When you love someone,
You see where you need to expand.
Where there is room for deeper healing inside yourself.
You discover lands that you had forgotten about,
Or thought you could ignore.
When you love someone,
Truly love them.
You want to be the best you.
For them.
For you.
For the team.
Being the best you,
In love is elevating.
It is what you came here to do.
To see yourself, FULLY.
To accept and love yourself,
With all those little quirky traits,
And things you fear will drive your love away.
Being the best you,
Is about living unbound.
Expressed.
Being the best you,
Is about BEING LOVE.
And when you love someone,
You will consciously want to see and be seen.
Knowing that this is the greatest work of your lifetime.
This is the expansion.
This is the transformation.
This is how you get closer to your truth.
To access your soul.
It will not be easy.
It will not always be pleasant.
It will have you holding your breath at times.
But if you choose to love with this consciousness,
To see its beauty and stand in its fire.
You will have no choice but to expand.
Your thinking.
Your feeling.
Your beliefs.
Your soul.
And for that my love,
You will touch the heavens,
And be blessed with a joy and depth that is ever so rare.
Loving you from here always.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Lets get you expanding in a high vibe conscious relationship based in true love today.
Don’t wait another year to manifest tour soulmate relationship. Reach out today to learn the secrets to calling in your ideal love.

I Love This Man

I LOVE THIS MAN.
2020 has been a stormy year.
It has been that way for so many of us.
Bringing forth our truth,
our hearts desires, and our fears.
We have walked through the year barring as much courage as each of us could handle, wanting for so much more beauty, searching for the light at the end of this tunnel,
and here we are at the close of this year,
asking ourselves,
“What is waiting in the wake of 2021?”
For me as many of you know,
My year has been filled with untold beauty.
I never allowed the shut downs and quarantines to prevent me from living out loud and enjoying my incredible family, nor did I let it stop me from traveling or sharing new experiences outside of my own backyard with my children and friends.
I connected deeper in so many ways with my clients over the course of this twelve months,
witnessing them as they explored possibilities, found faith in their talents and personal power and discovered their truth as individuals and couples.
I have certainly nothing to complain about health wise,
2020 has potentially been one of my healthies years ever. I think the only thing that got me down was a bad beet juice I ordered one day… ( and I am still having issues coming back to beet even now, but maybe I can venture out and try drinking one in 2021 again. – IDK)
On a very personal note however,
2020 brought with it some surreal moments that I never thought I would experience and yet feel blessed to have walked through.
I am still learning the lessons from these experiences I am sure.
Although, these lessons seem to bear with them the bitter sweet feel that is hard to swallow at times.
My grandson, at 18 months was discovered suddenly to have a rare heart defect and had to have open heart surgery. From which he has spent the last few months in ICU, surviving two strokes and having the cardio team come to the conclusion that he needs a new heart ASAP… one moment a happy, healthy toddler. His precious sweet morning hugs to mimi (me), seeing him daily and enjoying those brief moments, suddenly within moments gone.
Now, sitting on the edge of my seat every time I see my daughters beautiful face pop up calling me on my phone.
What does the next moment hold?
Breathtaking, shocking and I still cannot believe that it is happening. That this is part of our family storyline.
And even in the midst of this,
I feel blessed.
I feel a great love.
I feel a holding from life.
For me.
For my children and grandson.
I can see the perfection as I look back through the moments that led up to the discovery and with each passing day.
Flipping to my personal intimate life,
again surreal moments of shock and disbelief.
A witnessing of how we all cope differently and how we try and hold on to what should no longer be out of fear of loss,
fear of of rejection and a need to try and control events, people, life.
Here 2020 brought with it a closure to a three-year relationship.
What was a beautiful relationship,
but was one that no longer vibed with each of us.
Through the end of this year, I have witnessed my ex stepping away from his soul and acting out of rage, fear and ego. I have found myself again stunned by the witnessing of how we humans believe that we are acting out of love when in truth it is the farthest thing from love, hoping for what? To be understood? To feel right? To gain closure? Instead of loving ourselves and the time spent and allowing for life to do what life always does…
Move on.
There have been many more little events,
both beautiful and painful that 2020 has brought forth to its end.
I have come to terms with it being a year of massive truth finding in self, in relationships and direction of life itself.
Breathless in its lessons offered,
I stand here just a little over a day away from its turn,
the most stunned and speechless over the love that 2020 has revealed to me.
The support.
The connection.
The beauty and the soul entwinement.
As I look over the last quarter,
I see how everything has had to happen.
As I look over the last year plus,
I see the connective fibers and the release points in the stitching of what was,
all bringing into light what was needed.
What was intended.
What would be that next journey.
And I find myself,
here at the precipice of the next great adventure.
The adventure is a love that I have wanted for.
A connection that I have desired.
And a life shared authentically, beautifully, fully.
Not just because that is what we humans crave for and go searching for.
Grabbing hold of relationship after relationship in hopes of “this” being the one,
but instead because NOW I am ready for it and I KNOW that I am.
Now I am ready to embrace myself at levels that I was not available to in years past.
I am reminded in 2020,
that it is always darkest before the sunrise.
2020 in many ways has been that darkness.
And even though there are more moments left to learn from till the sun rises I can feel the turn of this journey.
I can sense in the darkness the light that is emerging,
the depth of the love being revealed daily,
and how without the darkness,
the light would not be revealed with such breathtaking beauty.
I share this with you sweet follower this evening,
in hopes that you too can witness how everything that life has brought forth in the tribulations and trials of your past,
has in truth brought with it a beauty that you would never have wagered on.
Because of those past moments that brought suffering, fear, anxiety and doubt,
you were asked to have great strength and courage.
You were required to step forth firmly into your power,
and you found a connection where you most likely never thought it would be.
The truth of relationships,
of what your heart longed for and what you truly desire and need would never have been fully realized without the onslaught of what felt like overwhelm and loss.
In our disorientation,
we often find ourselves.
But that is only true for those of us who choose to stand witness to life and go within.
Calling on our greatest power.
Our SOUL.
I LOVE THIS MAN.
for the breathless moments shared in the rockiest times of me finding my footing.
For doing his own inner work and embracing his soul.
And for following the guidance of his soul,
to the deepest connection and reveal.
I love this man for the light that he has made me witness in myself through the consistent calling out of my truth.
I love this man for showing up in the darkness and pointing out the surise we shall watch together.
To each of you out there looking for love, peace, joy, a feeling of belonging…
None of these things truly reside anywhere outside ourselves,
and they cannot be revealed to us until we take the great journey within.
The journey of loving thyself.
Here at the close of 2020 I pray that you embrace that truth and make it your mission for the coming year,
to open to the sunrise that awaits your life,
and loving each moment of the darkness for what it brings forth in you.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Lets start 2021 off with a F-ck Yes!
Want to learn the secrets of discovering how our darkest hours can reveal our brightest lives? Reach out to me now.

The Dance of Love

THE DANCE OF LOVE.
 
These feeling I have are not new to me.
They are but like a distant memory,
that is not distant enough for my heart to not recall the pain that they potentially can bare with them.
These thoughts I have of you,
that my mind, body, soul yearn to experience are not strangers either,
they too carry the distinct scent of surrender,
of love,
of commitment.
And they too hold a fear.
 
I find myself,
sitting here,
looking into your eye’s,
captivated by the light that dances through them,
mesmerized by the the turn of your lips and the soft smile you carry upon them.
I find myself,
looking away in hopes that you will look toward me in these moments,
so that I can feel your desire,
I can feel you taking in my essence.
And I do.
 
Each time our eye’s meet,
each time our lips touch,
each time you stroke my mind with inquiry,
each time you twirl my soul,
and tell me your desires.
 
I find myself being lifted.
I find myself feeling as though I am soaring.
Joy captivates my soul in these moments.
 
You demand my presence.
You demand my depth.
You demand my vulnerability.
My surrender.
And you do it fiercely.
With certainty,
and confidence,
and ohh so smoothly.
 
Like velvet, I find myself wanting to be touched more.
More with your words,
with your thoughts and ponderings.
I find myself wanting to be touched with the emotion that I see and is not fully spoken within your eye’s.
 
Your perfect eye’s.
Those perfect eye’s that carry me.
That shine the light of love on me.
A love that I have felt before,
a love that is so captivating,
so stimulating,
it stirs,
Stirs my being,
and makes me believe that more is possible.
 
This thought of more,
it terrifies,
it electrifies,
and it asks for me to choose.
 
I hear the sweet whisper of love,
I hear it revealing all that I know already,
it is uncovering,
what I fear to let be seen.
And I ask myself,
“Why do you fear this love?”
 
The raw truth is that,
I do not fear.
The shudder that quakes inside of me,
at the possibility,
is not fear,
it is settling.
Settling into all that I have asked God for,
that man,
that lover,
the moments,
and all the beauty that come with them.
 
Oh yes my love,
I do not fear what in being uncovered.
 
Instead I welcome it.
I crave it.
As I covet the sweet surrender,
as I melt into your strength,
into your passion and presence.
 
As I allow you to twirl me in this dance,
that we are becoming breathless in.
It is with this potency,
that I find myself,
opening.
 
Opening yet again,
to all that I fear,
all that I want.
I bare myself to you,
raw, real and with intent.
 
The intent to give myself over to this beautiful moment.
This dance.
 
And so it is,
and always has been,
when lovers meets.
 
The beauty of true love,
is not in the needing of it,
no….
 
It is in the wanting.
Not the wanting of the love,
or even of a person,
no….
 
It is in the wanting to be there.
Be there fully, authentically and ready to be penetrated.
 
Yes,
here in this space,
with love,
true love, we find ourselves.
Communing in the moment,
rapturing into our own glory,
and embracing the dance.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Are you ready to set 2021 on fire?
With your love, your money and your F-ck Yes! Life?
Reach out to me to discover the possibilities for 2021 now.

Don’t Go Soft On Me…

DON’T GO SOFT ON ME…
 
I have a thing for a man who can get into his primal nature.
 
A man who can make my heart flutter with his firm directive touch.
 
A man who knows his core.
Knows his desire, is comfortable in standing in his truth and let’s me feel it from his deepest soul expression.
 
I love the masculine who penetrates me with his hunger for life.
 
Who dives deeper into my feminine not just with his words or body but with his consistent stable energy.
 
A masculine who gets that the greatest adventure in life is the journey of discovery of self through the awakening of unconditional love.
 
A masculine who wants to rope the moon and stars not to prove his love but to conquer his purpose. To embrace his divinity.
 
I love a man who twirls my energy and opens my heart to believing that more is always possible.
 
A man is steadfast, secure and proactive.
A man who addresses his fears in love with a willingness to hear a deeper level of himself.
 
I love a man who loves my strength.
Not because he loves a strong woman who does not need him, or can take care of him or mother him, but because he wants my strength by his side to conquer the greatest dreams and turn them into a reality.
 
I love a man who sees my truth,
Embraces my heart, my sex and my soul as though it were the greatest gift ever given.
Never wanting to own, to harness or take for granted,
But instead knowing that by igniting it further that I will surrender fully to him and entwine and lift us both into the heavens of love.
 
I love a man that does not run from my fires but instead embraces them and smiles. Opening my heart further into his steadfast commitment and love.
 
I love a man who can read my heart with his tender looks and touches while leading me deeper into spaces that I have not discovered and would not without him by my side.
 
I love a masculine who does not need me,
But chooses me because we are bonded at an energetic level that his soul knows in certainly and love.
 
I love a man who does not go soft with me…
Not in his truth.
Not with his core.
Not in his desire.
Not in his words.
His primal passion,
His hunger of mind, body and soul,
It remains powerful and aligned.
 
No matter how the winds of life swirl and push, the storms that crash in,
He does not bow to them.
 
But chooses to kneel before my alter,
Opening himself to the treasures that my heart wants to give.
Freely.
Strongly.
In certainty.
 
I love a man who knows and loves himself so much so that he will never go soft with me.
 
To all the men of the world looking for a powerful turned on woman,
This is your mission.
Your journey starts within.
In loving self.
Knowing self.
And being strong in your core.
Never let a woman be your purpose.
Never need her,
Choose her.
And she will surrender to your divine love.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

TRUE LOVE CHOOSES ME FIRST

I CHOOSE US…
I CHOOSE ME…

Relationship creates a space where we want to fully submerge ourselves.
Loose ourselves in the love.
In the connection.
In each other.

It feels amazing as we come together with another soul,
And are greeted and held in this feeling of love and acceptance.

So much so that without realizing it we give away pieces of ourselves over the course of time.
We stop doing things that we once enjoyed,
We stop being around people even that filled us, stirred us or supported us in different ways because we feel that this relationship that holds our hearts is enough.

And the very idea that perhaps this relationship is not enough,
Not should it ever be enough even,
Seems ludicrous.

This is our home.
This is love.
And love means to put all your focus,
All your needs and hopes,
Into it.
Thats what commitment is.

To choose the relationship.

Yet here is also the demise of the relationship.
You see when we put the relationship before self,
We turn over ourselves and can easily get lost in the life of the relationship instead of the life that we are to be living.

This leads to anxiety, frustration, jealousy, worry, fear of abandonment and bitterness.

The more we focus on the CHOOSING OF US instead of the choosing of self,
The more empty and lost we will find ourselves.

Because we are no longer focused on aligning to our own soul,
But instead aligning to the picture and expectations of the relationship.

The strongest relationships are built on two individuals who are strong and confident in themselves without each other first.

Relationship helps us learn and heal different new and old aspects of ourselves.
Relationship adorns our lives with its beauty and connection,
But it is not to be the foundation, beams and walls as well of who we are and our happiness or confidence.

When a person is aligned first with self and God,
Then they can open and align into a relationship that fits who they are verses a relationship that needs them to be someone and something that they are not.

When we mold ourselves to a relationship we give away who we are.
We turn from our core,
From our soul and alignment of self and God,
In the belief that that is what love requires inorder to maintain.

However, the truth is that love recieves you just as you are.

Love focuses us on us first.
Love knows that it only exists when each individual loves themselves deeply,
Knows themselves,
Accepts themselves,
And that authentic love ( not need masked as love)
Is present in self first.

Authentic love is only present because of the love we feel for self.

Any other format of it is based in an attempt to feel solid in self based on anothers attention.

TRUE LOVE CHOOSES ME FIRST.

Authentic love always chooses the self first because it is there that alignment comes from.
It is there that love manifests from.

And without the self first you walk in the land of loss, emptiness and fear.

So I ask you today to look at your ” love based relationship” and ask yourself.

Do I choose US or ME?

Leaning into your truth and soul will lead you to the space that will fill you from a deep level of love, support and build your confidence in who you are so that you can give and recieve an unconditional love with your partner.

Choose you.
Love you.
Be you.

Always.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

Reach out to learn how to strengthen self to strengthen your love.

Coming Together in the Wound

COMING TOGETHER IN THE WOUND…

OR TOGETHER IN THE HEALING…

We meet our mirrors at different points in time on our life journey.
We are intrigued, even aroused by these meetings.
We sometimes catch the feels,
And get committed.
And often this is the exact case that creates a defined relationship in today’s society.
Two people living thier own life experiences,
Meeting and connecting from thier wounded selves. From a space of feeling broken, fearful, unworthy and incomplete.
And they find themselves drawn into another who is just this as well.
They find this other lost soul who has all these similarities and hopes.
They share thier pain, thier saga and desire to have something more.
And so like magnets they connect.
They feel supported feeding each other the understanding and love that they crave.
They feel seen, heard and like thier mate gets them.
And they do.
Because both are operating from the wound.

Time passes,
The wound remains to a degree for both,
It gets triggered here and there,
Bringing doubt and fear into the hearts of the couple.
But they come together and assure each other that they are there.

And then it happens…
One of them starts to feel better.
Stops masking thier pain,
Stops hiding in thier guilt and suffering and chooses to open up again.
Chooses to breathe life in again.
Choose to heal,
To grow and become whole yet again.
And when this happens thier mate is provided an opportunity to do the same or to burrow themselves into more sadness.
More frustration and fear.
And thus end the relationship.
Because you see when one grows and heals and the other does not then it is the destiny of the relationship to end.

Growth and healing increases your vibration.
It will have you feeling full, in love with life, good about yourself and have you desiring for more in all of your life.

When vibrations increase for one partner but the other does not match vibration any longer then the two will start to experience challenges in connection, understanding each other, there will become an irritation between them like sandpaper and unless one of them does something to change thier frequency then its inevitable that they will split.

Now granted the one who started to grow, heal, transform certainly could hault thier opening. They could work on shrinking themselves again, and grow slower but typically even though this is a possibility it rarely happens because the momentum of growth becomes intoxicating and neither party want a shrinkage to happen.

Even though it quickly becomes evident as to what will occur.

So obviously the best choice to maintain the relationship is for the other partner to take self- responsibility and lean into the scary land of transformation. But its tricky.
They have to lean in because they want the growth for self…
Not just to save the relationship,
Otherwise the vibration will become needy and cause even more irritation between the two.

You cannot lie about your vibration.
And you cannot manipulate your vibration.

On the other spectrum,
Coming together in healing…
Or in growing.

When we meet someone in this place,
Where we are each doing our work,
Learning to take responsibility for self, emotions and actions.
Leaning into our hearts and souls and catching the ego,
When we meet from a place of expansion we find ourselves again feeling deep connection, understanding, love and catching the feels for this other person who is meeting us where we are.

And it feels beautiful.
It feels supportive but not like the crutch of the wounded connection,
Instead supportive from a sense of freedom to be self and to be witnessed just as we are.
This sort of bonding,
As long as both parties continue to love self first, own thier emotions, thoughts and actions and keep leaning into thier individual expansions,
Then they together will connect deeper,
Be witnessed from a truly authentic level,
Experience a quickening in personal growth as well as a melding and accelerated joint growth and transformation which will with its individual vibrational increases also create a worm hole of momentum toward the couples unity.

Here a couple can experience the highest of relationship connectedness in vulnerability, intimacy and authentic unconditional love.

They will be able to cross through challenging waters together because they both built strong individual boats first and are sailing the choppy seas of life side by side, supporting each other but not trying to glue thier boats together in need which only creates instability and weakness in self and relationship.

True mature loving relationship understand and value self and growth first.
They choose to journey together because its a beautiful transformational path to share but they do not need someone by thier side to love the path they are on.
They do what they do because it feels good to them and for them,
Not because they aim to please anyone else.

Look at your relationships of today and yesterday,
Were they founded in the wound or in healing and growth?

What is your desire in your relationship story?
And how is the founding of your current expanding you or holding you back?

Time to get clear.
Time to be real.
Time to connect from strength.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

Reach out to me to discover how you can call in a high vibe relationship today.