A yes to your pleasure.
I love a good orgasm.
I crave a good orgasm.
I need so desperately a good orgasm.
How about you?
Lately I have been challenged though with orgasm.
And I am noticing that it is increasingly becoming more and more difficult for me to drop down and open up to ORGASM.
I find myself with my lover,
attempting to open up,
attempting to receive,
attempting to lean more in to all that he is offering me.
I know that my pleasure increases his pleasure.
I know that it is not his responsibility to get me to orgasm.
The reality is that ONLY I can give myself an orgasm.
I do not say this as to say that only I can “rub one out.”
No I mean that only I can give myself an orgasm by allowing it to happen.
So why am I preventing myself from this pleasure?
Why am I limiting my experience?
An Issue with Worthiness.
An Issue with Trust.
An Issue with Self- Love and thus love in itself and even toward my partner.
Here is the reality of why one does not open to ORGASM.
Instead I find myself,
laying there closed off in frustration.
I find myself craving more,
but not asking for what I need or want in the moment.
I find myself not speaking about it in general.
I find myself a prisoner in my mind during sex.
Disconnected from my body,
disconnected from my sex.
Instead of spreading my whole being more open,
Instead of saying, “Hey, I need this touch… or this position.. or this time…this kiss.” I say nothing and go into analyzation of the mechanics of what is happening, of what is wrong with me, of a technique or I just find myself drifting off into some other place that is non sexy in my mind and getting lost there until a nerve is teased and brings me back to my body for a second.
Especially because my partner is being present, loving, supportive, taking his time and really applying himself to my pleasure.
I see all of his greatness.
I just cannot feel it.
And this reality has NOTHING to do with him,
and everything to do with me.
So here I sit after a ton of good sexing,
with female blue balls. ( Yes that is a thing, us ladies get blue balls just like men. And we get bitchy as hell from it.)
I sit here after a bunch of good sexing,
frustrated, throbbing, achy, moody, disappointed in myself, tired and in fear.
Fear of sharing my truth.
Fear of what is going on with me inside my heart and mind.
I know my body is fine, my heart and mind though are struggling to open back up to love and connection and feel overwhelmed from all the stresses of life.
Fear of what my lover may think or feel if I share my truth.
With all of that shared, I KNOW the path I must take.
And if you are challenged with finding your ORGASM as well,
if you are experiencing a moment like what I am,
where you are having good sex,
with a good partner,
and you are enjoying the sex,
you just are NOT GETTING THERE.
You just DO NOT FEEL the release.
But it is still good.
Then listen up!
Take it from someone who has been educating and coaching on SEX and ORGASM for the last decade and can be multi- orgasmic.
If you are feeling non-orgasmic and wonder will I ever get through this?
If you are questioning what is wrong with me?
You can get through it.
You can access your “O”
You can feel again.
The steps to pleasure are not about a better stroke.
Are not about deeper penetration.
Are not about more sex.
What you have to do is simple but not easy.
OPEN UP YOUR HEART.
GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD.
Stop focusing on the mechanics of sex.
Sex for us women is so very much more than mechanics.
We will NEVER access true orgasm if we are just focusing in on our genitals and the mechanics.
ORGASM is not about the “in and out”
It is about the CONNECTION.
First to self.
Then to partner.
It is a meditation.
It requires us to let go of our fears, our concerns,
our thoughts about everything else.
And JUST BECOME ONE
with our PUSSY.
As we open our hearts and soul in our sex,
we open our pussy’s ability to feel more,
to experience more.
This WILL REQUIRE our love of self,
and our understanding that we are WORTHY of pleasure and of LOVE.
We must support our ORGASM by asking for what we need.
By guiding in love our partners hands, mouths, cocks and attention.
We cannot just LAY THERE.
If you craving ORGASM the way that I am, then you have to COMMIT to CLAIMING IT.
You have to ASK for IT.
Therefore it is high time BABY,
that you speak up.
Show if you have too.
Try new things.
Stop beating yourself up for not having an ORGASM.
For feeling like a shitting partner, because you cannot achieve what you and your partner both want for you,
but instead OPEN to it.
IT IS TIME YOU LOVE YOURSELF.
KNOW YOU ARE WORTH IT.
WORTH IT ALL!
No one else can do this for you.
No one else can get you to open up.
And here is just one more reality ladies,
When you finally open to the “O” between your legs,
and it comes from your core, not the mechanics of sex.
You will be on the path to EMBRACING YOUR LIFE “O”
You will start to tap into ALL OF YOUR beautiful abundance.
You will STEP INTO YOUR POWER.
She awaits you.
She is you.
“The Goddess between my legs, makes mouths water.” – Rupi Kaur
May your rivers flow endlessly.
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Tears are on the cusp of escaping my eye’s today.
I feel this heaviness on my chest,
my heart feels constricted and tight, like it is being held in a metal clasp with daggers penetrating it.
I want to cry.
I want to be washed clean of this pain.
My mind keeps running through all the memories,
all the experiences. Those seemingly precious moments where intimacies were shared. Where I felt like I was being held in a new place of truth and love.
Those moments where I found myself exploring adventures and concepts that I never would have thought up on my own.
I find myself in gratitude and disgust.
I find myself in fear and disbelief.
How is it possible that two people can come together,
experience such beauty, and at the end of the cycle wish to destroy?
How can love and friendship turn to hatred and rage?
How can you one moment proclaim that you love someone more than you have ever loved before and then moments later turn around and speak disgust about them behind their backs.
creating false realities and condemning,
all the while pretending that you want to be with them?
This is my morning of tears.
This is my morning of reality as I uncover the truth of all that I thought that was,
that NEVER was.
The issue with these events is not the break up.
The issue is not even the lies and pain that they cause.
The issues is not the physical damage that we may take on from it or the new reality that we are thrown into at the awareness that the love was all fake.
No the issue is TRUST.
And the trust breech that we face and fear even more when we come face to face with things is OUR OWN.
How could we not see it?
How could we be so blind?
If we could not pick up on this then how will we protect ourselves from it in the future?
The writing is always on the walls. And if I am horribly honest with myself then even I have to admit that in my case, I KNEW.
I knew the sort of man he was.
I new his need to control.
I knew his closed down heart.
I new his disrespect for emotions.
I knew his hatred toward women.
I knew his insecurities as a man.
But I believed that I could love him through it.
I believed that he just had never been given the opportunity to heal these things before and that I was STRONG enough, OPEN enough and PATIENT enough.
All of these things only made him feel weaker.
All of these things only back fired on me and made him hate me more, destroy me more.
And so the rumors fly.
And so he attempts to crush what he hates in all the ways his ego directs. Standing firm in his right to make a point, be right, to control the situation, he alpha dogs yet again.
remaining true to his character.
True to his past.
True to all that he believes of himself.
I remain in LOVE.
And I dig a little deeper into my pain.
And yet deeper into my fear.
And even deeper into my wound.
This wound that keeps being carved open further as the days go by and the lies make themselves known.
At the bottom of it all still remains my TRUST.
Do I allow this moment…
this lost soul…
to destroy the beauty of my FAITH in God?
Do I CHOOSE to allow it to take me further into a DEEPER TRUST?
A fuller FAITH.
It is always our choice what we do with the drama and trauma of our lives.
Many of us choose to allow it to harbor us from the joy and bliss that is on the other side.
Many of us choose to allow it to mask our hearts and souls.
Many of us choose to pretend it never happened even.
Hoping that if we just ignore it will somehow magically go away.
This never works.
It only turns us into what we are fearful of.
It turns us into those that create this sort of shit.
Life is about owning your own crap but KNOWING what is ours and what is not.
Every event in our life is an OPPORTUNITY to get closer to God or to turn away from God.
It is in our CHOOSING that we decide our futures.
It is our CHOOSING that we manifest our curses or our blessings.
This is SOUL ALIGNMENT.
This is where you decide what you want to call into the next chapter of your life.
Falling into the arms of HATRED, ANGER, EGO and CONTROL will always only lead you one place….
A land of self made misery.
One’s own inner hell where no one can help you escape but yourself.
Ask yourself this:
“Am I happy with whom I am TODAY?”
Now look into your eye’s in the mirror and ask:
” Is this true?”
Wait for the response from your soul.
That soul that is quiet and meek, but strong and truthful.
Here is your path.
Stop Existing & Start Living