WHY I DO SEX DAILY.

WHY I DO SEX DAILY….
 
I have sex almost daily.
It’s just my THING.
I do sex daily yes because I love sex,
but more so for what sex gives me.
And I am not referring to the mind blowing orgasms that only happen here and there.
 
Okay so it’s truth time folks,
yes ME,
the sex expert and coach that helps thousands of people have better and more sex DOES NOT have mind blowing, earth shaking orgasm daily.
Actually most days, its pretty meh…
The sex is just normal,
and even boring at times.
But I still do sex almost daily,
and some days if the opportunity presents itself two or three times.
 
Just a week ago I spent about 7 hours out of 24 having sex.
Now that was yummy.
But why was it yummy?
Why did I want to have 7 hours of sex?
or have it daily, especially if I am not having mind blowing sex or even an orgasm most of the time?
 
The simple truth is that SEX ignites my creative juices.
Sex allows me a medative state, no matter the outcome to work on embodying myself,
sex allows me practice time to get out of my head and FEEL myself at a deep level.
I get to practice letting go,
I get to practice vulnerability,
I get to practice surrender,
I get to see where I am challenged and through the rhythm of my sex,
the consistent allowance of letting myself feel and stepping away from the idea of cumming,
but just BEING instead,
I get to connect to my CORE and thus feel my partner at a deeper level.
 
I have discovered through the years,
that our SEX is linked to so many things.
Self-confidence,
self-love,
boundaries,
ability to receive and give,
thinking patterns,
fear,
DESIRE,
passion,
VITALITY,
a feeling of freedom,
a feeling of peace,
centeredness,
physical well-being,
mental well-being,
and expanded spiritual depth.
 
To just name a few.
Yet we are taught to shame our sex,
to hide from it,
to ignore it,
to STARVE IT.
We are taught that our sex is evil.
And that it should only be used to make babies, or relieve stress QUICKLY.
 
And this way of thinking about our sex,
has us shut down,
fearful,
and not having sex.
It has us feeling disconnected from life, ourselves and the people we love.
It has us feeling insecure and angry,
depressed and lost.
And it has us trying to achieve what we have a void in through any means possible.
It has us acting out and traumatizing ourselves and others.
 
Instead of loving ourselves,
being responsible,
compassionate,
mature people,
we are like caged, starving, beaten wild animals.
This is what our world has become when we DO SEX.
And it’s all because we have such a limited, repressed view and understanding of this beautiful gift from God.
 
Sex and finances are the top two reasons marriages break up.
Sex actually out weights money,
because when the sex is crap,
when the sex is disconnected and toxic,
when sex is just about the get off,
then you have a partner being used and abused.
You have trauma setting in and the relationship is TOXIC.
No amount of money can heal that.
That is all about embodiment.
That is all about connection.
 
And you can ONLY CONNECT to your partner if you know how to connect to yourself first.
 
THAT IS WHY I DO SEX DAILY.
 
The consistent practice of leaning more into ME.
 
How does your sex feel to you?
Connected and deep?
Expansive and full?
or shallow, empty and about the release?
 
Want to learn how you have beautiful sexing all the time and access these states of peace, joy and connection.
Enjoy intimacy no matter what is going on in your life?
Reach out to me for information on my 1:1 coaching available globally today.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Forced Consent is Not Authentic Consent.

You can’t touch this….
Touch.
Hands on attention.
Something that is so needed,
so human, so intimate and connective.
 
Yes touch is something beautiful.
Unless it is not wanted.
Unless it is given when it is not appropriate.
Unless it is out of one’s boundaries or it is forced upon someone.
 
And it is this final statement that I want to address today.
As a woman who has experienced her fair share of trauma,
and speak about the healing process,
the psychological issue around and how to best prevent further trauma in life,
It has come to my attention over the last week the power of touch, yet again.
 
The same touch that can show love can also trigger fear.
Our hands and fingers can open in a hug and give one with deep care and no desire to harm another,
these same hands and fingers can penetrate another person with fear and trigger old wounds as well as cause new ones with the same action of a hug.
 
How can that be?
How is it possible?
Does that mean that we should just not touch anyone?
Yet here we are a touch deprived society.
Hungry for touch and the fact that we are so deprived has us uncertain as to what is healthy and what is not,
because we are deprived and not taught proper respect and boundaries,
permissions and body language signs,
because we want what we want and tend to overlook another person’s feelings or obvious gestures of not wanting to be touched,
we push ourselves onto others with great disregard to what we may actually be triggering in them or re-anchoring from a past wound.
 
Touch can be healing,
but it can also be harming.
 
Outside of the harmful touch of physical abuse which is what you may think when you read the words of touch can be harmful,
it can still be harmful with a loving, caring, even playful touch.
 
I will bring to the attention what our society is being taught.
 
Recently in America we have dealt with the conversation of touch with our very president being captured stating:
 
“Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”
 
This is an extreme statement about touch.
About taking what you want with disregard to another human being. And I see the fall out of this statement in many relationship scenarios from parenting to lovers,
from friends to colleagues.
 
Every time we ask our child for a hug or a kiss and they say “no” and we respond with,
“Come on, mommy/daddy need’s a hug.”
” Give me hug and then you can go.”
“I will give you this if you give me a hug or a kiss.”
 
We are disrespecting our child’s space and answer.
We are teaching our child that it is okay to ignore a “no” and to even try and bribe, guilt or push further for what you want with total disrespect to another’s desire, boundary or need.
 
This then translates to adults who believe that it is okay to push for what they want with a spouse or partner.
 
It translates to adults who do not respect the space, time or feelings of another in any relationship situation.
 
It translates to adults who do not take responsibility for their actions, as they feel that they are doing what they are doing out of a “good” place or a “just or deserving” place, as though they have the right when in fact they do not,
and that no matter how good or right our actions may be,
if they are harming toward another’s boundaries or desires then we need to pause and respect what we are being told or what we are witnessing in energy,
body language coming from another person.
 
Touch.
It is so very powerful.
And our boundaries around it can ebb and flow within any relationship and moment by moment in our lives.
A touch that felt good yesterday may very well close us down to connection the next.
 
And the thing to remember about touch is that it extends past the physical.
 
Touch is about how we touch another person.
 
We can touch another person with our physical body,
we can touch them with our words,
we can touch them with the look from our eye’s,
the expression on our face.
We touch other’s all the time.
How you touch them is the question that I encourage you to review in your life today?
 
Are you honoring and respectful?
Do you listen to their body language as well as their words?
Can you hear their truth and accept it just as that,
without needing approval from them or needing a reason as to why they think, feel or need what they need?
 
Or are you operating from a place of self-centeredness?
A place of need and hunger?
 
When you are in relationship with anyone,
no matter the intimacy level or actual label on the relationship,
do you give…
do you touch…
do you speak…
do you act…
out of the place of unconditional respect and love or are you wanting something and wanting to feel a certain way,
with the belief that if this other person “supports” (gives) you what you are wanting by allowing you to act, speak, give, touch, etc… the way that you deem good in that moment,
that this is what “should” happen and it is “okay” because that is just the way that you want it to be?
 
We are all guilty of ignoring another and insisting that they feel or think a way that we want them too instead of how they may actually be feeling or thinking.
 
We are all guilty of wanting something from another at times.
We are all guilty of missing ques in body language or tones, even not hearing words fully and crossing over boundaries.
We are all guilty of being self-centered.
 
No one wants to feel rejected.
No one wants to feel like they have hurt someone that they care for.
 
The reality is that when in relationship,
we will hurt those we care for.
We will not always be present with them.
And we will have hidden expectations if nothing else that we are not aware of that may cause issues along the path.
 
But if we want to act out of love,
if we want to be emotionally mature,
and trustworthy,
if we want to expand and deepen a relationship,
then each of us MUST take responsibility for how we choose to touch those around us.
 
With our words.
With our physical bodies.
With our looks.
With our expectations.
And assumptions.
 
And we must learn to respect the “No” without question of why.
 
Because no one owes you an explanation of why they are feeling any way,
just like you do not owe anyone an explanation as to why you think or feel any particular way either.
 
But to push your will on another,
is a breaking of truth,
it is dishonoring to the relationship and to both parties in relationship,
and it shows the desperation of one’s need and lack of actual care for another.
Making it detrimental to the relationship.
 
Pay attention to what you are seeing,
to what you feel coming from another person,
not not what you want to feel or see.
 
Realize that your truth about any particular thing may not be the same as another’s and if you are interacting with another person you NEED their consent to involve them.
 
How are you toughing those in your life today?
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.

Stop Loosing Yourself In The Goodbye Beautiful.

Doesn’t F-cking Matter!
People say goodbye all the time, in so many ways.
People turn away from you,
some you feel,
some you don’t notice.

But at the end of the day,
It doesn’t f-cking matter either way.

They came into your life for a reason.
This you can be sure

How long someone hangs with you baby,
Well that is upto your spiritual contract with them.
What do I mean by that?

What kind of crazy new age concept is a spiritual contract anyway?

In this instance I am referring to the lessons you gain from the relationship. And EVERY relationship teaches us something.

Its important to realize that we are in relationship WITH EVERYTHING and EVERYONE in our lives too.
So get right with that RIGHT NOW gorgeous.

Those short meetups, hook ups, chatting and getting no where with people that pop through your life and wonder WTF was that about?
Was there to present some lesson or deeper understanding into your life,
Into who you are,
And how you are VIBING.

And when they leave.
You can say it doesn’t matter anyway.
And it doesn’t!

As long as you got from them what you were meant to.

Were you present enough in that relationship,
No matter how short lived it was or not,
No matter the drama,
The trauma,
The heartbreak.

Did you get your lesson beautiful?
Did you?

Cuz if you chose to get caught up in the ego of what happened,
and you missed the lesson,
Then baby,
You are going to have to rinse and repeat.

And that’s why you run into the same people over and over again just with a different face,
Different story.

And when you get caught up in the ego of the loss,
You loose something much more significant and valuable then that relationship.
You loose a piece of you.
When you sit a stare at the people who are unliking or unfollowing you on social media,
When you pay more attention to who is not paying attention to you,
When you wait for the lack of response from that person you went out on a date with,
Or hooked up with,
When you get caught up in the certainly that so and so will apologize or come back,
When you wait….

You loose yourself.
And at the end of your days beautiful,
It doesn’t f-cking matter anyway.

Their goodbye.
Thier shut down.
Thier blindness.
Thier disconnect.

None of it matters.
And you deserve so much better.
But here is the thing,
YOU have to allow yourself to have better.
YOU have to stop making yourself available for that shiz.
YOU have to stop resisting your beauty,
Your greatness,
Your value.
And you have to get THAT lesson.

Because baby,
The best is yet to come.

It is!
You just have to change what your looking for.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.

Childhood Sexual Abuse Is More Real Than You Want To Acknowledge, and So You Hide.

I just want to say that our system is F-CKED!!!!
I mean seriously f-cked.

Today I write with a heart that is frustrated, upset and emotional.

Today my heart goes out to all those who have experienced or who know that abuse is happening and can do nothing about it.

The victims.
The one’s who want to protect, but find their hands tied.
Yes I feel you.
I see you.
I know the troubled heart that you carry.
There is nothing worse then to witness abuse of any sort happening and be told you cannot do a damn thing about it.
To hear the cries.
To see the bruises.
and be told that its not real.

Sit down and brace yourselves.
I am going to share an intimacy from my day,
an intimacy that is not fun,
is not humorous,
and most certainly not just.

I have family that is being abused.
Sexually abused.
Three little boys,
age 2, 4 and 5 who are being physically abused,
sexually abused, starved, beaten, left with a known predator and their cries are IGNORED.

By their mother,
their grandparents,
extended family,
the police.
CPS.
Attorneys just want money,
no care as to child well being.
Everyone who knows says, ” I don’t want to get involved.”

And so the abuse continues.
And so the trauma continues.
And these boys,
these boys now hide with their horror that their uncle brings to them each week.
Now they learn that it is okay,
“He is your uncle, we love him, he can do what he wants.”

WTF!!!!!
Our system is F-CKED!!!!

And for those who think this could not happen in this day and age,
I promise you this is a true story.
This man who is doing this has a record,
it was before he was 18 years old so no one knows of it.
It is ignored.
As if by some miracle that when he turned 18 things would change his sick mental state of being.
His distorted hunger.

Who the f-ck plays “the penis game” with kids?
What sort of adult man,
or any adult for that matter,
takes little boys and bites their penis as a f-cking game?

Sick a*shole!

It is rare that I find such disgust for anyone,
but today I sit here after such great hope that CPS would see the light with this being a third report,
sweep in and do something.
At least prevent further abuse till the judge could settle things between the parents,
but no.

They choose to disregard.
To claim there is no abuse.
That its crying wolf.

I guess bruises on a 5 year old’s penis and stories of uncle playing the penis game are normal.
I guess that the signs that the boys show of abuse are imagined.
I guess that the only thing that matters is what?

The attorney’s and the money.
The let’s avoid paperwork, its Thursday, too close to the weekend.

Seriously!

And then, you know what I know is that in 15, 20, 30, 40+ years from now, when these boys are men, that they will have so much inner work to do to heal.
They will have to work through idea’s of suicide,
murder, not knowing their sexual personality.
They will have to learn even more than the rest of us about love and what it is and what it is not. And hopefully will not follow down a path like their uncle.

We wonder where the predators come from.
We wonder why our youth has the hate crimes,
why abuse is climbing and not spoken about until it’s too late. We wonder why mental health states is tipsy, questionable. Suicide rates are high.

This is why people!

We choose to take the easier path on almost everything we do. No matter the harm that it may cause.

We choose to ignore.
We choose to hide.
We choose to NOT SPEAK OUT!
We choose to shut down.
We choose to not stand up for hose who cannot stand up for themselves, because it’s not our problem.
We choose to have misguided loyalty.
We choose to not do the freaking paperwork.
We choose to let lives be destroyed.
Children harmed.

We have created a system that support the expansion of trauma.

And we think it’s great!
Because it’s not our kid.
It’s not our family.
It’s not US.

It’s not YOU.

And sure this topic today is one that is too effing close to my heart and daily life right now.

But I have clients that have lived through this abuse.
I work with men,
with women,
who spend a lifetime trying to overcome the damage that was caused by such events and worse.
The stories that I have heard from adults about their youth,
I cannot tell you how my heart goes out.

The crusade to save our children,
it’s real.

If we ever want a world that is peaceful,
healed to any level.
We need to look at all human rights.
And stop treating children like they have no f-cking rights,
like they are just good story tellers.
Imaginative.

Sexual Abuse for our youth is more real than what any of us want to admit.

And our system is F-cked to a point that it is almost hopeless.

Because it’s not about the children.
It’s not about safety.
It’s not about rights.
It’s about money, bottom lines and keeping it easy on those who don’t care and are not being effected.

I believe that there is HOPE.
I believe that our WORDS matter.
Our VOICES need to be heard.
The children need a voice.

And their voice comes from YOUR awareness.
Hope is awakened by more adults doing the inner work that they need to do to not be fearful of speaking out, speaking up and standing up.

Our children would be safer if the VILLAGE protected them instead of ignored them.

Yes today’s message is one of a CALL to ACTION that if you know of abuse happening to not turn the other cheek, to not ignore. To not hide your f-cking head in the sand and disregard.

Your hiding will never save anyone, including yourself.
But your voice,
your voice could save multiple lives.

Will you STAND, SPEAK UP, SPEAK OUT?
Or will you continue to ignore?

It’s starts with you not ignoring your SOUL.
It starts with you eliminating your own SHAME.
It starts with you communicating your NEEDS.
It starts with you getting COMMITTED to YOU.

So pull that beautiful head out of the sand,
and let your voice be heard.
Your message felt.

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living Not IGNORING!

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Imagine letting o of your fear,
letting go of your shame.
What would your life be like if you were working with a mentor that could help you level up your life and let go of all those things that no longer serve you?
What would you like to release? Let go of and create for your EMPOWERED Life?

Let’s talk.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Coaching today.