Awakening Truth – Shaming the Vulva

mom water shoot 2012 104

Over the last few years I have been working with men, women and couple’s. It has been an amazing path of self discovery for me as I work with everyone. One of many things that I have awoken to is how closed our society really is in the field of pleasure and sexuality. Yet we are over taken by these two things at the same time.  How is that we can constantly be sold merchandise with the appeal that if we get this or that it will make us happier, sexier, more satisfied, increase our love/sex lives and bring us bliss, yet still say that pleasure and yes sexual pleasure is not good; we should not crave it? Yet we do.

At the core of pleasure and sex for many people are our genitals. Our pussies and cocks or those of our lovers. We long to touch, taste, penetrate and feel the deep orgasmic pleasure roll through our bodies and watch this pleasure as well as feel it accumulate and release throughout our lovers. Yet because sex and pleasure are so taboo in society we really have no idea what we are doing and how best to achieve maximum results from ourselves or with a partner(s). This is especially the case with women and their vajaja’s.

It has been statistically stated that over 60% of women say that they know VERY little about their vaginas. And if this is true then how is it possible for men to ever have a sound knowledge of how to please us or our vulvas/vaginas?

edit 1 for websiteThe main reason for us women to not have a strong understanding of our most intimate pleasure palace is because since we were small children our parents and society have been telling us that, “ladies, don’t touch themselves like that.” “Ladies, don’t sit like that, or think those things, eat like that, crave that, act like that, and so on and so forth.” Yet young boys can run around without a shirt on, and touch themselves, groan, grunt, fart, make jokes and even if they get busted masturbating we say as a society, “boy’s will be boy’s.” We assume that because a boy does not have fatty tissue and milk ducts in the same way that a girl does that his bare chest is not obscene.  So why do we find our bodies obscene anyway? Do we find the body of our new born infant something that is grotesque and obscene? Do we look at a baby’s bottom as something that is yucky? NO. We adore these sweet “innocent” moments in our children’s youth. Girl or boy we see the beauty, we embrace the sweetness and we adore each moment, yet as a child ages we shame our children into believing that their flesh is something to feel bad about.  We teach them this and yet they sit down and every underwear, perfume, condom, and even many food, travel and alcohol commercials tell them that the flesh is something to crave and pleasure. The mixed programming causes us to mistrust society, our peers, our lovers and most of all OURSELVES.

Somewhere in the middle of these two opposite messages is the truth of what we as humans NEED. There is nothing wrong, shameful, disgusting, obscene or otherwise ill about anyone’s body or longing to feel pleasure in any form of the sense. What is wrong is to suppress these longings and shun then as though they were demons, causing self-hatred and sexual dysfunctions. Only through self-love can we truly learn to open and love another. And in our self-loving we embrace our human needs and desires for pleasure. We learn to heal through pleasure, both giving and receiving it and we open the doorway to new paradigms of relationship in all areas of our life.

Opening My Petals to Shame

fpdjfklsdjgflksd

In my youth I was very inquisitive about my vulva and vagina and still am. I was amazed by every aspect of it. To the point that I would get my little boy friend to help me explore all of its petals. I wanted to experience what everything felt like. Much like a baby who puts everything in its mouth to discover what it is, I was playfully experiencing myself. I loved playing doctor or trying to reenact something that I had seen on the television in some movie or something. I was nosey as heck and dug through my father’s “personal” space and found some old Playboys that had beautiful pictures of naked or partially nude women. I adored looking at these pictures and of course even in my youth I compared what mine looked like to the models.

frjfrejgioeLuckily for me I grew up in a household where my mother was an older mom and was from Europe. My father was an out of the box thinker, whom often disagreed with societal norms even though he was extremely logical and programmed by a long genealogy of structure and societal standings. My mother was extremely open about sex with me and was more than willing to share her personal stories and answer any questions I might bring up. Yet, even though she was open about the topic she still was damaged and needed her own healing. She could only answer for me and share with me to the point of her understanding and level of consciousness about sex and pleasure. And because she was my mother, she also had the nurturing worry that goes with the god given job. She wanted my safety and she wanted me to be smart about things.  So there were plenty of times that I experienced shame in my youth from just exploring myself. Each time I got caught playing house or doctor in the nude with my little boyfriend, I felt shame. Every time I was interrupted in my shower masturbation games or bathtub pleasuring acts, I felt shame and embarrassment. When I took one of my dad’s Playboy’s to school in the 4th grade (a parochial Catholic school) and got busted by my teacher, I felt tremendous embarrassment, now I had not only shamed myself but my parents as well.  Each time I played up some steamy hot sex scenes with my barbies and my mom or dad walked in, I felt shame. Slowly as years past I learned that it was not acceptable to look at, touch, play with, explore or share these parts of myself. I became shameful and embarrassed of myself!!! My flesh, my internal word, my desires and my pleasures. So I suppressed them for the most part.

Even in my early sexual relationships I could not fully open to the pleasure and love that was before me. I was fearful that my lover would think poorly of my hungers. I was afraid that if I shared in great detail what I really wanted to experience or how I wanted or where I wanted to be touched, kissed, pleasured that my lover would think I was disgusting or crazy. I was concerned over the potential loss of this lover more then I was concerned about sharing pleasure in fullness with them. Of course, my lover would ask me, “What are your fantasies, your desires. How do you want to be touched? Does that feel good?” But I did not know if I could honestly answer and not be judged. And in a few occasions I did allow myself to be revealed and felt tremendous pleasure, but because of my back programs I woke the following morning questioning myself and feeling strange about my pleasure. As if it was wrong.

Healing through the Pleasure Palace

mom water shoot 2012 054

My story is similar to many women’s tales. Granted there is so much more to all of our stories and programming then this short overview and many of us women have suffered through some sort of sexual trauma that has only supported our shame, embarrassment and self-hatred or misunderstanding.  Yet at some point in all of our lives we find ourselves at a crossroad, asking “What’s wrong with us?”

Why am I not happy?

Why does sex not feel good to me?

Why do I feel addicted to sex yet not satisfied from sex?

Why do I always attract the same type of man?

Why can I not love myself more, feel life more, connect more?

Why am I not getting over ________?

Why is that a good book or movie and bowl of my favorite yummieness is better than sex with my lover?

Why am I so emotionally unstable?

Why can’t I have an orgasm?

Why do I always fake it?

Does any of this really matter anyway?

The answer to these questions and many others can be discovered on a sexual healing path. One that leads us women into the depths of our vaginal canals where we can discover a great pool of self-love, healing, passion, feeling, intimacy and all sorts of forms of pleasure. Only through going into the source of where we store our repressed emotions, our shame and fears can we learn how to release them in a safe and loving fashion and fully except ourselves. By doing this we can call into our lives lovers, friends, and life partners that will except us and support us at the level that we need.

ndsaAny woman who finds the courage to take the step down a sexual healing path will quickly awaken to how powerful the path is and then to how powerful SHE is! In Tantra and many other sexuality practices such as One Taste, the first steps to healing come from revealing our petals and allowing another to actually accept us in a non-sexual, loving fashion. The immense healing energy of having yourself revealed fully, to be naked in every sense of the word in front of another human being and then to hear them say, “ You are beautiful, divine, perfect.” To hear them describe what they see in total acceptance and unconditional love as though they were marveling at some famous painters work. This step on the path to healing starts the opening of our hearts to ourselves. It allows for us to experience ourselves in a way many of us woman have not.

The sexual path of healing is a long and ever changing one. An individual has to be willing to not expect an outcome in any particular time-frame and has to be willing to face their inner darkness as well as their inner beauty within any given moment. The emotions, thoughts, ego and the soul of what comes up for us is something new each time. With each session we open ourselves a crack more and allow for more trauma to be released and greater pleasure to be expanded upon within us. We “clear” slowly the many levels of our psyche and physical blockages to pleasure and within time learn to open up the channels to our souls and heart.

As we walk this orgasmic path of healing we release shame of our vaginas. We learn to embrace our flesh and our desires. We come into communion with our higher selves. Here in the valley of our vagina we discover our pleasure, our truth.

mom water shoot 2012 096 (1)

In the unmasking of this truth we awaken to our divine nature. Through, its unveiling process of sexual healing practices we also open the book of personal knowledge and become that child again, exploring ourselves, giving ourselves permission to feel, to taste, to look, to act, to PLAY and to embrace others to do the same.

We stop fearing and we start living! Living the abundant, orgasmic, pleasurable life that we were intended on having. With our orgasm we gift this world with love and radiance. We increase happiness and connection. With our ability to receive pleasure we gift our lovers with an intensity of passion and creative energy. We reveal to them our self-love and acceptance and thus show them a vast horizon of pleasure, love and acceptance for them as well. Here is the gate of intimacy! Even if it is with a first time lover…

–KW

Pleasure Psychotherapy

I met a pleasure based psychotherapist recently. When Janov’s Primal Therapy came along I seem to recall that he said that a therapist was a dealer in pain. So is therapy about pleasure or pain and trauma?

Nobody would go to a therapist to talk about how happy they were or what a great childhood they had; but it is one of the more interesting questions in therapy the extent to which we have to go in to past pain and trauma to clear it out. In our culture we have the “no pain, no gain” school of development. A deeply Puritan culture like the British is very suspicious of happiness. I can lead straight in to the arms of The Devil. In most therapies, both humanistic and analytic happiness could well be covering something up; even a manic defence against deep sadness. Of course this can be true but it is also true that many defences, particularly somatic ones, tend to block access to all deep emotions; pain as well as joy.  This is simply because all strong emotions and body sensations are close together in their emotional anatomy and neurology. On a fairground roller-coaster the riders play with the edge between fear and excitement; screaming with fear as the car descends and then cuing up for another go! A father playing with a young child may throw them up in the air and catch them giving squeals of joy, excitement, fear overcome by return to safety. Deep sobbing and deep belly laughter are quite similar to observe from the outside. In the intense autonomic activation of orgasm, pleasure and crying can come together. Those in to BDSM are experts on the edge between pleasure and pain and how both can lead to altered states of consciousness.

Many therapies are very interested in trauma; particularly if that term is extended from single incident events such as an accident, or act of abuse or death of someone to include developmental trauma such as having a depressed mother when there would be many occasions when the required empathic attunement and care-giving weren’t there. In the past going into the pain was seen as the only way. Now with modern energy psychology methods such as AIT(www.aitherapy.org) that I practice this is known not to be necessary. Just naming the trauma and finding the location in the body is often enough to clear it.

So as we block pleasure and pain, when a client comes in for a session reporting that they feel good. Unless I am very suspicious of this, I will only want to move feeling good to feeling fantastic. There has been more attention recently to positive psychology and to the concept of Flow,  (from Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi);  a state of being where we are not divided and distracted but fully engaged in life at that moment.

So while I will try as a therapist to stay fairly divided in my attention between pain and pleasure. I have a growing sense that working with pleasure and how to expand it and deepen it within our bodies and our neurology is a powerful way forward. This forms a large part of my book Tantric Psychotherapy that I am working on at the moment (see www.tantricpsychotherapy.com )

Martin is London based psychotherapist 

READ More from Martin HERE

BIO:

I have worked for nearly 30 years a psychotherapist and counsellor and supervisor. In private practice and in training courses, for a university and now for the police.

Immersion of the Dragon — My Session with Alexander Brighton by Kendal Williams

As I walked up to Alexander’s door I had no idea what to expect in this tantric session. Having experience in Tantra and in healing sessions should set me at ease, however as I have discovered it truly has nothing to do with a session and EVERYTHING to do with what we are dealing with internally. At this particular time in my life I was dealing with a few emotional and physical challenges.  All of which I knew in my heart had to transform, but I was scared of the outcome. This particular session with Alexander Brighton was about my longing for harmony and transformation of these events in my life.

At first sight Alex calmed me with his whimsical happy smile and leprechaun sparkle in his eye. His playful, loving spirit breathed through my reservations and nervousness.  A warm tender hug and then guidance into his sacred space. Here he shared with me a quick over view of the session, revealing that we would be traveling away from his sacred space for the first part of the session.
Once I was present and feeling safe he asked permission to blind fold me. I agreed.
Then the REAL adventure began!

He guided me to his car, seated me comfortably inside and then drove me to our destination. As he parked the car in the driveway I could feel my heart rate increase. I was nervous and excited. What had he planned? What sort of adventure and healing awaited me?

The car door opened.
He took my hand in his, helped me out of the car and along a walk-way. I could hear a door opening then feel a cool breeze. I was inside a building of some sort. He had me sit down in a comfortable chair, asking me to relax and breathe deeply into my stomach. Telling me to breathe like Buddha. Deep, deeper. As deep as I could into my stomach to clear out all the old negative air and energy in my lungs, in all the corners where it had been stagnant for some time. Release all that I no longer needed.

As I did this he left my side for a few moments to prepare.
Next thing I knew he was by my side again. Guiding me yet through another doorway. Each doorway was magical in itself. In looking back I can see that each door way was a significant part of the session journey. Representing passageways that I had to cross through on my own free will.

This new location was warm. I could feel moisture in the air and hear the sound of waterfalls. Music playing in the background.  Its dance in the air accompanying me in each step of this healing. Alexander came to my side, close.
So close.
I could feel his breath on my shoulder, my cheek. It was arousing to only feel his breath and his light touch on my arm and shoulder.  Softly in my ear he asked for permission to remove my clothing.

Slowly sliding my dress down my body I could now feel the sun light kiss my skin, the breeze wrap its loving arms around me. Alex took both of my hands and slowly walked me over to where the ripple of waters sang a song of their life. Guiding me step by step he carefully walked me into a cool pool of healing water.  With each step into the pool I could feel a freshness of spirit come upon me. Alexander stood before me placing his hand on my chest and asking yet again for permission.
“Do I have permission of the goddess to hold you?”
“Yes.”

With my permission he took my naked body into his arms and floated me in the water. The water slowly molding itself to my body. My breasts partly revealed to the cool air.  I could feel his hands holding me in safely as he guided me through a meditation. Taking me to depths of energetic levels. Asking me to merge fully with my ethereal body. To trust in him, his voice, and his presence in this space. I could feel not only my breath under the water but his as well. His voice muted by the water my body almost fully emerged, I relaxed. Fully! His strong hands carrying me in safety.

As I released my stress and thoughts my body became more fluid like the water I was floating in. I felt only my breath and my heart. I imagine this is what outer space must feel like. Or perhaps this is the feeling of crossing over, of the release of our physical body?

Next he guided my floating body over to a place to sit. Here he sat behind me. Wrapping his legs and arms around my naked body. Sensual, arousing and safe. His hands gently found a home on my heart chakra at first. Here he guided me back into my body. Asking me to feel myself, to breathe and to be aware of the moment.  Slowly he placed his hands on my root chakra. Asking me to focus on the color red (the energy associated with this chakra). Then asked me to breathe, deep into the chakra as his hand massaged me. Warmth cascaded up my torso. A feeling of sexual arousal and connection all in one as he guided me into my root, connecting me to the earth, to my mother and to myself. Once I felt complete he moved his hand up to my second chakra, asking me to focus on the color orange and with each chakra he submerged me more and more into the waters of spirit and of self love and acceptance.

Soft tears cascaded down my cheek as the babbles of water sang along side me and Alexander’s warm hands  caressed me. His ability to not only hold space but comfort my crying soul as it released what was no longer needed was powerful in this moment. It was as though he was carefully holding my very soul and heart in his hands, kissing it with his energy and telling me that everything was going to be perfect.

That I was perfect.

Just as I was.

As he worked his way through my chakras and I released all the stuck energies I softened and relaxed even more into his cradle. Here I wanted to be. Here I accepted that every beginning in this life came from some other beginnings ending. Here I was at peace and in love with what was. I was soul. I was love and in love with the ONLY person that ever mattered in my life. Myself. Allowing me to forgive, release and heal all that I “thought” I could not previously let go. Here I could only feel love and acceptance. Support and harmony.

Here is where I still go today with each memory that I have of this blessed session with Alexander Brighton.  Thank you Mr. Brighton for being the inspiration, the teacher and friend that you are to so many in this world. Thank you for assisting me and supporting me on this life path and staying open in love with me as I move forward and sometimes backward. Your souls light is something that brings a smile to my face as I am sure it does to anyone open in allowing you to touch their own.
This Fire Dragon expresses GREAT appreciation and love for all that you do in the healing of the feminine and masculine energies of the world!

Tantric Therapy for Celiac Disease, Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Fibromyalgia – By Duncan Knight

For 20-years I have been working with women of all ages.  Commonly, women have been referred to me for help with severe premenstrual syndromes, psoriasis, arthritis, fatigue, headaches, allergies, and  adolescent and adult acne.

More and more, the women I work with have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Celiac Disease.

In the late 80’s and 90’s Fibromyalgia was commonly reported, in the 90’s Irritable Bowel Syndrome and in the past decade Celiac Disease has become common.

I have successfully treated and even cured many cases with Tantric Therapy.

Like with any sensible approach, Tantric Therapy is not the cure all.  However, the holistic nature of Tantric Therapy is the key to the successful treatment of these problems or imbalances.  There is a connection between these problems and imbalances and sexuality.

Tantric Therapy’s approach to Celiac Disease, Irritable Bowel Syndrome Fibromyalgia is genuinely holistic and involves a psycho/spiritual/sexual/dietary/cleansing strategy.

“At around 20-years old I was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome, at 30-years old with Celiac Disease, I felt like an old woman.  I didn’t date and could barely complete a class in school without having to run to the bathroom. Duncan changed my life…”

Psycho/Spiritual/Sexual (2-3 Two Hour Sessions)

With any illness, healing is only achieved when emotional components are addressed.  Treating the physical aspects; doesn’t heal it only treats a symptomatic part.  I have found that there is often a psycho/spiritual/sexual somatic connection with these problems and imbalances. Stomach problems along with muscle and connective tissue stiffening are commonly associated with psycho/spiritual/sexual imbalances.  At a bare minimum these symptoms have undisputed emotional, spiritual, sexual or psychological stresses associated with them.

Tantric Therapy addresses all of these.  Sessions start with a minimum of two to three psycho/spiritual counseling sessions, followed by a series of five to seven bodywork sessions. Bodywork also has a profound psycho/spiritual/sexual somatic connection. In Tantra, there is a premise that emotional/spiritual trauma or stress also stored physically in your body.

Tantric Bodywork (5-7 Four Hour Sessions)

Tantric Bodywork begins with breathing and meditation. In Tantric Therapy, therapeutic intimacy plays a major role. Emotional and spiritual barriers are minimized or removed and the connection with one’s self if emphasized.  The Tantric Bodywork sessions are specialized for the treatment of Celiac Disease, Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Fibromyalgia; however are very similar to my introduction sessions. The sessions are very slow and intentional; and involve massage of every area of the body.

In many of my advanced Tantric Therapy sessions; I often include stretches and/or body poses. However, this is required for this Tantric Therapy modality.

There is also a greater emphasis placed on the stomach or colonic massage. This stomach massage follows the path of the colon and focuses on assisting and spiritual opening the flow of the colon. This massage is conducted in multiple different positions on the table.  Gentile pressure is placed near the lowest right side of the stomach just inside the hip bone and then a small counter clock-wise circular movement begins.  Then the gentile circular massage works it’s way up under the right side of the ribcage and then across and down the left quadrant of the stomach leader to the left hip bone and toward the pubic bone.  This is repeated several times in several positions.

The next steps are a series of colonic enemas. This is an essential part of the therapy and is often a reason why many people do not seek this therapy. I have used colonic enemas for 20-years to treat more than Celiac Disease, Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Fibromyalgia.  I have seen profound improvements in women with severe premenstrual syndromes, psoriasis, arthritis, fatigue, headaches, allergies, and  even acne after being treated with a series of colonic enemas.

The most interesting note I have made over the years is that clients that administered their own enemas or sought colon hydrotherapy elsewhere did not have the same effects as when I administered them in during a Tantric Therapy session. In fact, nearly all of my clients reported absolutely no effect.

The enemas are administered 2-3 times during the session and in different positions and of course require several private trips to the bathroom and returns to the table. It is not uncommon for a dozen trips to the bathroom during a four hours session.I have made over the years is that clients that administered their own enemas or sought colon hydrotherapy elsewhere did not have the same effects as when I administered them in during a Tantric Therapy session. In fact, nearly all of my clients reported absolutely no effect.

The enemas are not painful; and subsequent sessions can be found to be very pleasant.

After the second or third enema; a natural suppository is administered consisting of coconut oil, vitamin E and palm oils. This is always received as being very pleasant and soothing.

The session resumes with a full body massage and optional yoni massage.

Clients are offered a shower and every sessions concludes with reflective counseling and meditation.

Medication and Vitamins

Also, I begin each session with the recommendation and offering 3mg of natural melatonin and tryptophan tablets. (not for sleep)

I also encourage clients to consider the benefits of their current medications and supplements. I strongly encourage women to discontinue the use of birth control pills and all pain medications.

 Preparation (2-3 days and 2-Hours before a Session)

    • Abstain from eating  2-hours before a session and eat lightly the day before
    • Drink 4-6 glasses of water every day upon waking 2-3 days before your session.
    • Drink 2.5-3 liters of water daily or increase your water intake
    • Abstain from wheat and dairy 2-3 days before the session.
    • Abstain from all caffeine, processes foods, alcohol, sugar, and bread 2-3 days before your session.
    • Eat lots of fresh vegetables, a little fruit and small amounts of light/white meat or Tofu.
    • Abstain from red meat 2-3 days in advance of your session.

After a Session

    • Drink 2.5-3 liters of water for 2-3 days after your session; and consider keeping the regiment.
    • Avoid raw vegetables for 4-6 hours.
    • Avoid heavy meat consumption for 2-3 days.
    • Avoid strenuous exercise for 24-hours.
    • Drink an electrolyte drink
    • Consider starting a probiotic
    • Repeat a Tantric Therapy Session in One or Two Weeks.

Dietary Regiment

Consider following the recommendations of a gluten-free diet.  Most of my clients find that after repeated Tantric Therapy Sessions they can be on their own preferred diets. However, consider eliminating foods with preservatives, modified foot starch and stabilizers made with wheat. Organic is not always the best.  Also consider that products other than food that are ingested by your body; such as make-up and hygiene products.

Clients have come from all of the United States, two other continents to either receive this treatment and learn how to administer the treatment.  After years of working with my clients and other practitioners; this treatment stands as a very effective treatment for Celiacs, Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Fibromyalgia.

For more information, please contact me anytime.

Original Posting

Edging and Ballooning: Two Exercises to Help Cure Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation is a condition from which millions of men worldwide have suffered, but it’s a condition that is highly curable. In cases where the premature ejaculation is severe, it is highly advisable to see a medical professional. However, for milder cases, premature ejaculation exercises may help or reverse the condition. Premature ejaculation exercises can help you build stamina and learn control. Edging and ballooning are two premature ejaculation exercises that will help you strengthen your penis and improve your staying power during sex.

Edging
One of the best exercises to incorporate into your penis exercising routine is edging. Edging is masturbating and stopping right before you ejaculate. Once your urge to ejaculate has subsided, you repeat the process as many times as you’d like. By building up over and over again, you’re training your brain to learn how to gain complete control of your ejaculations and, thus, overcome any problem with premature ejaculation you may have.This “stop and go” build-up also can help you achieve even stronger orgasms Try to build up to twenty minutes per edging session before you ejaculate.

Ballooning

Similar to edging, ballooning involves masturbating and stopping right before you ejaculate. However, it doesn’t involve stroking the penis up and down. Ballooning helps with premature ejaculation by training your brain to learn how to become comfortable with feeling sexual pleasure without a release.To practice ballooning, find the super-sensitive “magic spot” on your penis (avoid the frenulum under the head at first, as it may be too sensitive) and rub over and over, using a circular motion until just before ejaculation. In a ballooning session, your goal is to stay at your maximum hardness for as long as possible without ejaculating. This practice can help you gradually increase your stamina.

Even if you find you need medical assistance in your fight against premature ejaculation, premature ejaculation exercises can help you increase your stamina and prowess over the long term. Like the rest of your body, your pelvic muscles and the smooth muscle tissue in your penis can become more “muscular” with training, allowing you ultimately to be able to sustain more powerful erections for longer. It is in the strength of your erection that you will find greater control over your climax.

  – Health & Fitness Solutions

Healing Marilyn Monroe

mmrowcoverface

So often women face challenges that men just simply cannot understand. Many of us having grown up with some form of sexual trauma or another, lost love, low self-esteem, a lack of understanding of our own bodies, emotions and ability to stand strong in the great feminine among other things and our sexuality causes us to be scared of intimate relationships. I recently heard that an average of 60% of the population has experienced or will experience some form of sexual abuse. This is a high number!  Sad but caused by the predators fantasies, insecurities and thus egoic attempts to control, take and dominate their victims in some sexual fashion. For those who have suffered rape in some form or another, sexual abuse from someone they loved/trusted or a stranger, they find themselves sexually bullied by another. Often the violator does not realize what they have done, the damage they have caused, the roadblocks in peoples lives that they have installed. They may assume that it was theirs for the taking or owed to them for some reason, even asked for. Often this can even happen in marriages or love relationships as well. These cases are even more so taboo to speak of in our society but are causing darkness in our world.  

For women, weather they are awake spiritually or not, sex is not the same as it for a man. As women, we are the ones who have to open

mmrow1

ourselves, be vulnerable, be penetrated. Sex takes place inside us. It can bring us to great heights of pleasure yes, but only when done in love, trust and willingness can the women experience a taste of heaven. Sex is VERY spiritual! It is also extremely emotional, and psychological.  Even when a women lays down with her lover or spouse and falls into the trap of “duty sex” it is far beyond skin on skin friction to her. In these instances it is emotionally, physically, spiritually and psychologically damaging to her. She becomes a victim of the event. She becomes a victim to her penetrator, even if she loves and trusts him. She becomes a prisoner within herself.  This sort of sexual trauma, as well as typical rape cases, molestation, physical abuse, mental and emotional abuse and the sheer fact that as a society we shun and hush any open talk about the effects this plays on the female population in a whole has caused women to shut down. To diminish their great light in this world and to trust their male counterparts wholly. The female spirit of the world consciousness is damaged from the over run abuse that the female population has carried for thousands of years if not more. As the consciousness of our plant switches, as we transcend through the cosmic storms of the universe and the astrological alignments and make way into the dawning of a new reality, one on the bright side of dooms day prophecies, we MUST heal our sex.  

In my working mainly with men, over the course of my practice so far; I have learned that the majority are longing for the intimacy lost in their relationships. Connection and touch being at the peak of what they crave. As men become more consciously aware of the damage of the female energies in this world and the role the man has played in it, they also awaken to new feelings within themselves. They can start to connect first internally to the feminine energies that they too house. The healing of the ying/yang in our internal worlds is the starting point for ALL physical, emotional, spiritual and mental healing. Quantum Core Energetix and other forms of energetic bodywork are specially designed to help attune the cellular levels of the body so that it vibrates at a new frequency and the energy centers (Chakras) can spin freely and properly move the life force energy. These types of healing touch practices also clear out the physical storage of traumas. Great emotional releases happen. Acceptance for oneself, the path we have walked and are walking, the people in our lives and forgiveness toward ourselves and others all manifest through such healing works.    

I have been blessed to work with many incredible gentlemen over the course of my practice. The honor they bring is amazing. The open and loving hearts and souls. I feel extremely blessed to be a part of so many divine gentleman’s lives. Hearing about their trials and tribulations, the birth of new events, businesses, relationships and awakenings of purpose are only the tip of the ice berg of connection that I enjoy with so many. Often I find myself feeling not just like a practitioner with these souls but like a friend or comrade. Someone that is there to lend an ear, a new chalk board of ideas, unconditional love and friendship even. I can honestly say that I love all of my clients. Even the ones who have tested my waters of patience. Even the ones that I have had the obligation to fire because they could not withstand the ego and allowed their self-limited consciousness to manifest in negative groping behaviour. I honestly hold no ill will toward anyone, but instead find myself being asked to take seat in a new quest.  

marilyn_monroe_pic

The quest to heal the Goddess. If men are to ever experience the intimacy that they so long for, the ability to feel like “real men” again and to learn to not take but to receive, then healing of the great feminine must take place. Women need to be confident enough to make eye contact with a man in the grocery store and not feel like he will approach her for a date or make some inappropriate comment. Women must learn again how to dance in the feminine energy and allow men to open doors for them, to give an appropriate compliment and it not be perceived as sexual harassment. Women must learn to trust in themselves and to embrace their sexuality in fullness. To allow the inner goddess, the Marilyn Monroe  and the Mother Theresa of our souls out to shine unconditional love, acceptance, nurturing, sexual confidence, spiritual power and the inner child of joy and happiness on this world.

      It is sad but true, and even a blind man can see it, women in the world are buying into self-victimization of their bodies, their desires, and their souls. They are allowing the deepening of the pain and believing that they can mask it with anti-depressants, alcohol, affairs, commitments to surface level events, gossip, religion, and many OCD cover ups. As a women throws herself into bleaching the baseboards for the third time in the month, and increases her commitment to the PTA of her child’s school, changes her anti-depressant medicine because the last one was not quiet good enough and further blinds herself with the newest reality TV show and a glass of her favorite wine, she is supporting her prison. This is all masking. This is NOT the life of a goddess, it is not the life the Creator wants any of us to live. It is a hopeless attempt to survive instead of transform our pain.      

      Transformation starts with rage. Yes, I said rage. First we have to allow ourselves to feel the anger, the sadness, the barried emotions. We have to allow our inner dragons to storm the village of our fears so that they can fly us to the highest heights of heaven after. As we learn to see and even embrace our shadow lands we to will see the light. For where the greatest darkness is so is the greatest light. We are each a diamond in the rough. The pressure that has been applied to us has happened for a reason. No matter how dark our trouble may seem in the moment it is falling on us, no matter how the memories of the traumatic events bring rise to tears, a speedy heart beat, or stomach ache, even anger, it is all a gift. It is up to each “victim” to see that they are not a victim, they are not a survivor, they are a Goddess in training. Only through our own pain, our own tears and bloodshed can we learn to fully embrace another unconditionally. When we learn to support, unconditionally love and accept ourselves and all our shit with it, can we truly be able to do the same for another at a deep level. It is true you can NEVER understand another until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Life provides us with these opportunities so that we can each step forward into the light of transformation so that we can find our calling, our purpose, our “Work of Love” that will help the transition of our planet into more peaceful times.    

As women, we must realize that we are naturally more in tune to the spiritual aspects of life then men. We each have chosen to come here to help the men in our lives evolve into greater, more loving and conscious souls. It is OUR obligation to Heal Our Sex so that our men can be birthed into the Great Divine and the further Awakening of this planet can happen.  

From my Sexual Healing Soul to Yours, Namaste’

mmrow2

What EVERY man & woman should know! – Why some women are closed to pleasure.

Vaginal pain is the number one reason why marriages are unconsummated, but treating and healing this condition is possible. Tinamarie discusses this all-to-common problem and reveals publically for the first time her experiences with a sexually debilitating condition.

For years, I thought I was a one of a kind freak, not knowing that there was a name for what ailed me or that twenty million American women suffering from the same condition. In my case, I can’t remember when it started, though by the time I was in my early thirties it had gone on for years and wrecked havoc with my sex life, self-esteem and marriage.
After that union dissolved, I recall crying to my therapist that as far as I was concerned, nothing bigger than a Q-tip was going to go near my tender parts ever again. As for orgasms, and their usual sidekicks like kissing, holding, touch and pleasure, my body was destined to perpetual skin-hunger.
Little did I know that healing was a few orgasms away…

Closed for Pleasure

First, however, I had to understand the etiology of my diagnosis, vulvar vestibulitis (say that three times fast), which is just one a form of dyspareunia (pain upon penetrative sex).  Sex that hurts for whatever reason is more prevalent than once thought – three in fifty adult women worldwide will be diagnosed – making dyspareunia almost as common as diabetes (8.6 percent) and cervical cancer (7.9 percent), though you are pressed to find many open discussions about the causes, treatments and cures of sex that hurts.
Seriously, who wants to admit their vagina had become a Do Not Enter zone? Sonia Borg, PhD, a clinical sexologist sex educator and author of several books including the upcoming Marathon Sex: Incredible Lovemaking Experiences Hotter and Longer Than You’ve Ever Done It Before (Quiver Books, January 2012), points out that for many, talking about sex is simply taboo. When it comes to sexual dysfunctions, confessions are rarer still.
“Talking about personal problems that we don’t know how to fix or manage can bring up emotions that are simply too overwhelming,” Borg explains. “Also, some imagined implications may be that the partner is being hurtful, insensitive, or that the couple just doesn’t know how to do it, ‘right.’”
This was the hardened terrain that stymied me from seeking help. When I wasn’t grimacing during sex, I’d yelp, push my husband off of me, and learned to live without affection, tampons and tight jeans.  For six years, shame silenced me, though really, I’m a lucky one. Most women’s private hell lasts an average of 10 years before they find answers and relief. Remissions are common, causes are speculative at best — sexual assault, pelvic surgery, guilt and allergies are all implicated culprits — and through it all, the agony is very, very real.

Yoni Whispers

I might have endured life with VV until my labia withered, except on a lark — a rare sexual encounter — I got pregnant and could no longer avoid the speculum or the fact that something was very, very amiss with my body.  My doctor, Dr. Lissa Rankin diagnosed me with the q-tip test (This involves using the sterilized tip to gently touch the vestibular glands just past the opening of the vagina. These glands produce vaginal lubrication, and just touching them with a q-tip can recreate the pelvic inferno). This was the start of a slow recovery that included buying sex toys (doctor’s orders!), and learning to be honest with myself, and future lovers.
Most importantly, my yoni was whispering something to me, one vaginal clench at a time, and it was time I paid attention to my secret erotic self if I ever wanted to experience bliss again.

I Heart My Vagina

Dr. Rankin is one of the rare medical voices who acknowledges how little medicine knows about painful sex or that the common treatments offer limited help. There is, “no quick fix, no pill to swallow, no surgery to cure the pain, no magic wand to make things different,” Rankin has written about her decade long bout with painful sex. “I knew I would have to do the work. But I also knew my condition was 100 percent curable,” she explained, “If I was brave enough to do whatever it would take.”
The scariest part of that journey was acknowledging that my body knew something long before I did — my relationship was toxic. Fear and resentment were the wrong bedfellows for any viable marriage, though these two had taken up residence before VV came knocking on the door. Spiritually speaking, I was bankrupt, and if my brain refused to acknowledge the obvious, my hooch was keen on setting the record straight. Move on, my dear, she was saying, to loving pastures.

Eradicating Shame

In a world that separates the soulful from the sexual and heaps on piles of guilt for enjoying the latter, it’s understandable that for many women, one common denominator is often “some form of sexual guilt,” says Borg who has worked with clients experiencing painful intercourse.
“We all have programming buried deep in our subconscious (which never forgets) and some of that programming no longer serves us.” It could be as simple as a parent teaching a child that ‘sex is naughty,’ she explains.  “The child grows into an adult, with normal natural desires for sex.  The adult now lives those desires out, but there are emotionalized triggers, which can turn a normally pleasurable experience into a painful one.”
While we use different language — I view the prism of my healing through a spiritual lens — the outcome is the same. “The subconscious mind has its own language and one of the ways it communicates is by showing signs and symptoms in the body,” says Borg.

Putting Pussy First

Over the years, I’ve spoken to a number of women, many of whom were healed almost ‘magically’ by discarding a relationship that no longer served them. In many cases, these are women who, like me, developed an, ‘allergic emotional reaction’ to an intimate partner. Once the relationship was dissolved we found of inner wantonness, and learned to pay attention to our bodies, knowing that pleasure is a corporal blessing. Honor our bodies, honor ourselves could be the motto for any woman post-diagnosis seeking to keep VV in remission.
I cannot imagine how difficult it might be for women whose experiences with painful sex are a result of sexual assault, violence, abuse and surgery; though Borg points out that regardless of etiology, sexual wounds can all respond to conscious love.  “We are holistic and energetic beings so everything affects everything else,” she points out.
It sounds cliché yet it’s true. Vulvar vestibulitis launched my erotic journey from sexual starvation to satisfaction. Listening to what my body was aching for helped me rediscover how important a robust sexuality is to emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing. Against the backdrop of a culture that thrusts sex upon us, and glorifies physicality at the expense sometimes of real intimacy, VV helped me connect my primal needs with sacred sensuality.
After all, the soul craves ecstasy too and oftentimes our inner Goddess is just picky about whom she wants to explore it with.
Article Origin: EdenFantasys.com

Traditional Medicine Starts To Examine Alternative Therapies

We’re on the brink of going back to the future in medicine.

Stem cells, genes and transplants are getting the headlines, but the bigger story may be that medicine is advancing beyond the biomedical model and embracing medical pluralism.

The overwhelming trend is the integration of orthodox medicine, defined by its pharmaceuticals and invasive techniques, with other ancient, old-fashioned and unconventional healing practices.

The future of medicine, it seems, is not only in the high-tech laboratory and the surgical suite but also on the NST and massage tables, at the herbalists and the health food store, behind the therapist’s closed door, but most especially in the cerebral hemisphere ã the mind.

This week’s edition of Annals Of Internal Medicine, the August journal of the conservative American College of Physicians-American Society of Internal Medicine, kicks off an unprecedented series on complementary and alternative medicine.

And they take the subject seriously, referring to “postmodern medical diversity.” It’s probably the first time that Haitian “vodun”, hair analysis, crystals, magnets and charismatic healing have all been mentioned without derision in the pages of Annals.

Authored by David Eisenberg, MD, and Ted Kaptchuk, OMD (Doctor of Oriental Medicine) of Harvard Medical School and its division of complementary and integrative medical therapies, the series considers everything from acupuncture to iridology to chicken soup to Reiki to vitamins to “ethno-medicine.”

“The alternative medicine `boom’ is not new,” Kaptchuk says. “What’s new is that orthodox medicine has abandoned the crusade against alternative medicine and is trying to accommodate widespread patient belief and acceptance of these practices.”

MDs are unlikely to suddenly start recommending copper bracelets to combat arthritis or stopping a nosebleed by placing a a red string around the neck, but they are acknowledging that a patient’s belief in healing properties may be just as powerful in many medical situations as the interventions of the physician.

In this week’s issue of the journal Science, there’s stunning testimony from University of British Columbia researchers about how the mind can heal the body. Their study suggests that the placebo effect in Parkinson’s disease produces the same neurological outcome as active drugs used to treat Parkinson’s: an increase in dopamine release by neurons impaired by the disease.

The placebo effect occurs when individuals take an inactive substance, rather than an active drug, and experience beneficial effects only because they believe they’re receiving beneficial treatment.

“The magnitude of the placebo effect was surprising,” admits UBC researcher Ral de la Fuente-Ferny¥ndez. “The greater the expectation, the greater the effect of the mind’s healing power.”

He adds, “This paper shows that there must be a bridge between traditional medicine and natural medicine.”

In studies of the impact of psychological therapies on longevity in patients with metastatic cancers, Ontario Cancer Institute senior scientist Alastair Cunningham found an association between intense spiritual work and longer survival.

“The psychological dimension offers promise for the treatment of many physical diseases,” writes Cunningham in the forthcoming issue of Advances In Mind-Body Medicine, an innovative, peer-reviewed scholarly journal published in the U.S.

“Modern medicine is conservative,” says Cunningham. “My approach is to try to play on the medical playing field and give evidence.”

Scientific, evidence-based proof of the placebo effect and the psychological dimension is only one reason for the dramatic shift right now toward inclusiveness and away from the historical antagonism to alternative practices by the medical establishment, say the Annals authors.

“People generally adopt multiple healing practices, even when biomedicine is generally available,” note the Annals authors.

This sheer force of numbers comes at the same time as a trend toward consumer-oriented medicine and away from “doctor knows best.”

More and more, the increasingly sophisticated patient is an educated partner in medical decisions. Knowledgeable health consumers are letting the medical profession know they want inclusive medicine.

The medical profession is responding for two reasons. First, there’s money to be made from patients, since most alternative services must be paid for privately.

But with the US leading the way, there’s also more funding for alternative and complementary medicine. American researchers vie for grants from the prestigious National Institutes of Health’s Office of Alternative Medicine. And insurance providers such as HMOs in the US are beginning to realize that alternative practices can be just as effective and a lot cheaper than expensive high-tech interventions.

But what may appear to be new and cutting-edge is only a change in perception and attitude by orthodox medicine, maintains Harvard’s Kaptchuk, co-author of the Annals article.

“I’m so bored with people being hypocritical and pretending that all this is new, rather than saying that they’ve changed standards,” he says. “That’s a kind of distortion, not looking at the reality of the phenomena. It’s the response that’s different. What is new is that conventional medicine has to redefine its relationship to this phenomena.”

Kaptchuk claims that orthodox medicine’s nascent inclusiveness of complementary and alternative medicine is “a breathless attempt to co-opt it.”

“It’s market-driven,” he says, with distaste. His cynicism is understandable.

“In 1970 I was arrested in Cambridge (Mass.) for practicing medicine without a license,” Kaptchuk says. “Now I’m a professor at Harvard Medical School.”

Authored by Judy Gerstel

The Star.com August 10, 2001

Becoming the change he wants to see…

This testimony was shared with me today from a very special client of mine. A divine man opening to his heart and purpose one step at a time. Just in the few energetic bodywork sessions we have done I have seen and felt GREAT changes in his whole being. I am so proud of you Matthew. keep shining and flying free. You DO deserve EVERYTHING!

Chakra Balancing – Energetic Bodywork Session

Vega Lyra,

You are the Bright Star illuminating the path for me and others to travel freely.The emotional tug of wars going on inside me since seeing you today has been draining while energizing at the same time. It wasn’t 45 seconds after I was in the truck before the drama started. ( Family, Work, and Friends) It seemed that all 7 of them needed it NOW dammit, and I was 25 miles from any of them. In the most recent past I would’ve still handled all the issues but in a very different manner. How dare 7 different individuals interfere with my peace today, this was the first thought that went through my mind. Then I remembered one of the first things that you taught me, BREATHE, so I did. And you know when I took that first breath, deep way down into my root chakra, I knew something fundamental immediately. I was learning how to love myself, how could I expect those that I was interacting with to act differently just because I am. Their thoughts, actions, and attitudes are as loveless as mine have been for the last 42 years.

 

 Change starts with me, if others are to learn to understand that we all have this burning energy inside, then I must show the way. I will do this by transforming who I have been into who I am meant to be thru the divinity in me and those around me.

With regards to the session today I would like to share my feelings with you and I don’t know why? I don’t really know you but I feel that you are real and since I make a living off of reading people (hence my cynicism to life) I will go with that truth.

I am shamed that I wasn’t more open. I want to travel this path and quickly (to make up for lost time) therefore I must be honest. Today’s time with you was and still is the most satisfying time I have had in many years. I FEEL, really FEEL mental clarity, physical strength, emotional uncertainty – vulnerability. I wonder at your courage, how strong you are to share a piece of your soul with someone you barely know. Can I too grow to the level of understanding love, that I am able to be free with others without fear of judgment or condemnation.   I am sharing this next part because I feel it is important for me as a breakthrough. This was a complete and pure feeling of satisfaction as defined sexually wow that was difficult to say. Put into a sexual description – I have never experienced the purity that you shared with me today. I can’t remember the last time I felt this way.

Others come to me all the time for help-consul-a sounding board if you will. I have held others as they pour out their pain but I have never been on the receiving end (was raised saying love but not showing it, you know men don’t show that sissy crap) . All my life family, friends, co-workers with issues are drawn to me or I to them like a magnet. I had grown cold, distant, and indifferent, when dealing with my life issues let alone anyone elses. There was a time when I joyed in helping others, but that feeling has long since faded. The feeling from today is just more than I can put into words or even describe. I feel like I am young and purposeful again.

Thanks for listening.

With much love and appreciation,

Matthew S.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Touch, Intent & Healing

A frequent question asked by patients and practitioners is “To what extent do intent, attitude and touch affect health outcomes?” Although these issues may seem unrelated to the technical aspects of health care, a growing body of evidence suggests that such factors may significantly affect the healing process.

Bunnell 1 conducted a study to determine whether “healing with intent” could be shown to exert an effect on pepsin enzyme activity. The rate of breakdown of egg albumin by a 1 percent pepsin solution was measured across 20 separate trials. This assessment method was chosen to eliminate the possibility of a placebo effect. The reaction rate of samples “healed with intent” was compared to “unhealed” controls.

The samples “healed by intent” demonstrated significantly greater reaction rates than the controls. Even more striking were the results of a study by Bengston and Krinsley. 2 After witnessing numerous cases of cancer remission associated with a healer who used “laying on of hands,” one of the authors apprenticed in these techniques alleged to produce the healing effect.

The Test

 

The authors obtained five experimental mice with mammary adenocarcinoma, which had a predicted 100 percent fatality rate of between 14 and 27 days. These mice were treated using the healing techniques learned by the investigator. The treatments were given one hour per day for one month. The tumors developed a blackened area, then ulcerated, imploded, and closed. The mice lived their normal life spans.

Control mice sent to another city all died within the predicted time frame. Three replications using skeptical volunteer “healers” at two different institutions produced an overall cure rate of 87.9 percent in 33 experimental mice. Histological studies revealed viable cancer cells through all stages of remission.

When re-injections of cancer were given to the mice in remission, they did not “take” and the animals remained in remission. The authors surmised that the treatment might have stimulated an immunological response.

The authors reached the following tentative conclusions: “Belief in laying on of hands is not necessary in order to produce the effect; there is a stimulated immune response to treatment, which is reproducible and predictable; and the mice retain an immunity to the same cancer after remission … ”

 

 Laughter Really Does Help!

Attitude also matters. Laughter and humor have been shown to have beneficial health effects as well.

Berk 3 et al investigated how humor-associated, mirthful laughter modulated certain neuroimmune parameters. Fifty-two healthy men participated in the study. Blood samples were taken 10 minutes before viewing an hour-long humor video. Additional blood samples were taken 30 minutes into the video, 30 minutes after the viewing was completed and 12 hours after the viewing.

Increases were found in natural killer cell activity: Immunoglobins G and M, with several immunoglobin effects lasting 12 hours after viewing the humor video. Other effects lasting at least 12 hours were increases in leukocyte subsets and cytokine interferon gamma. The authors concluded, “Modulation of neuroimmune parameters during and following the humor-associated eustress [pleasant or curative stress] of laughter may provide beneficial health effects for wellness…”

In a study by Kimata 4, allergy patients who watched a Charlie Chaplin comedy had skin welts shrink, an effect not found in control subjects who watched weather reports.

Do these studies mean that practitioners should abandon our clinical procedures and become stand-up comics? Certainly not! My point is simply that the very act of touching, inherent in the clinical encounter, may exert a beneficial influence. Intent enhances this effect.

Furthermore, an upbeat, positive, empathic attitude will benefit your practice members more than a neutral or negative one. In a study published by Di Blasi et al 5, the authors stated, “One relatively consistent finding is that physicians who adopt a warm, friendly, and reassuring manner are more effective than those who keep consultations formal and do not offer reassurance.

” As practitioners, we touch our patients, and we project an attitude that profoundly affects their well-being. We can do so by default, or by design. My message to practitioners and patient alike is to focus on your intent to allow the body to express its potential. It will significantly affect clinical outcomes.

 

About

Dr. Kent Christopher Kent, D.C., FCCI, president of the Council on Chiropractic Practice, is a 1973 graduate of Palmer College of Chiropractic. He is a Fellow of the College of Chiropractic Imaging, and formerly specialized in magnetic resonance imaging. Named the International Chiropractors Association (ICA) “Chiropractic Researcher of the Year” in 1991, he was the recipient of that honor from World Chiropractic Alliance (WCA) in 1994. Dr. Kent was selected 1998 “Chiropractor of the Year” by ICA. He is a co-founder of the Chiropractic Leadership Alliance with Dr. Patrick Gentempo, Jr. Dr. Kent is also the main representative for the WCA to the Department of Public Information, affiliated with the United Nations, and chair of the NGO Health Committee. He is the author of over 100 articles in peer-reviewed and popular journals, a contributor to textbooks, and a member of the postgraduate faculties of several chiropractic colleges.

 

 

References 1. Bunnell T: “The effect of ‘healing with intent’ on pepsin enzyme activity.” Journal of Scientific Exploration 1999; Vol. 13, No. 2, Article 1. 2. Bengston WF, Krinsley D: “The effect of the ‘laying on of hands’ on transplanted breast cancer in mice.” Journal of Scientific Exploration 2000; Vol. 14, No. 3, Article 2. 3. Berk LS, Felten DL, Tan SA, et al: “Modulation of neuroimmune parameters during the eustress of humor-associated mirthful laughter.” Alternative Therapies 2000; Vol. 7, No. 2, Pages 62-76. 4. Kimata H: “Effect of humor on allergen-induced wheal reactions.” JAMA 2001; Vol. 285, No. 6, letters. 5. DiBlasi Z, Harkness E, Ernst E, et al: “Influence of context effects on health outcomes: a systematic review.” The Lancet 2001; Vol. 357, No. 9258, Page 757.

Article can be found with comments from Dr.Mercola at www.mercola.com