It is frequently assumed that I go on many dates with many men..
It is assumed that to be a coach who teaches people how to have more, and deeper better sex that I must be loose or easy to bed.
That sex is something I am addicted too even.
Its often assumed that because I am the mother of seven that I am uncontrollable and quenchless in my thirst for sex or orgasm.
People often say to me,
” you would think that a sex coach would have figured out what causes pregnancy by now.”
Many look at me with horrified questioning eyes as they inquire if I will have any more children or why I am not currently married.
The assumptions roll through thier minds and almost escape thier lips.
Perhaps even you dear reader and follower wonder and question.
Perhaps you are among the assumers.
And I want you to know that I thank you.
I thank you for all that you feel.
All that you think.
And all that you sometimes goofily share in your assumptions.
I see your humanness.
And I do not judge it.
As you judge me.
I know what my truth is.
I know whom I love.
I know that my heart,
My message and my calling is felt and seen by those it is meant for.
Not everyone can be like a taco as my best friend would say.
And even though I may have a body part that resembles,
I am still not a taco.
I write this musing this evening to shed the light on how we judge what we do not understand.
How we cast stones with certainty,
But are enraged when they are thrown back without due reason in our opinion.
Today I share with you from a place I choose to call the labyrinth of mirrors.
This is the place where we can choose to see ourselves in ALL we come in contact with on our life journey,
Or we can turn away from them,
Look downward and become lost in the maze of our own fears and self criticism.
What do you choose my sweet human?
To be judge and jury to all in your life
And that you meet on your path.
Or to be human.
To be human means to be compassionate.
To self and to others.
To know that we do not know what anothers shoes are like.
What the path they have traveled took them through.
To be human means that you stand as witness not judge.
And to witness another is one of the greatest gifts we can ever offer.
To allow ourselves to be witnessed is the next.
Just yesterday I was working with a dear client of mine. This man has love streaming from every energy fiber he has. And yet he struggles with allowing himself the simple pleasure of recieving that love back.
I left him with the words,
” One day I hope you give me the gift of you allowing yourself to recieve my love.”
Now that statement may instantly bring up assumptions and judgments in you about me.
Or my coaching practice.
What does Kendal do with her clients?
Is she in romantic relations with them.
And you can assume.
You can judge.
And you can cast your head down and keep stubling through your maze.
Be my guest.
What I can tell you is that each day it is revealed and I am reminded of the deep intimacy I hold with these souls that are labled my clients.
They are not my clients.
They are my lovers.
I love each of them deeply.
The intimacy, vulnerability, rawness and depth that they trust me with is without messure one of the greatest gifts of this life time for me.
I love my clients.
I love them for thier willingness to stop bouncing off the walls of thier maze and instead to sit still and let them selves be revealed through the mirrors that are presented on thier path.
I love them for thier courage to catch thier inner judge and jury and fire them daily,
While loving themselves at a more intense level.
I love them for the tender moments that they give grace…
I love them for the humor and laughter as they learn how to skip through thier errors and self defeating patterns.
Yes they are my lovers.
And I love them for the blessings that they are.
Now back to that dating thing….
I have dated a few men in my time.
And I have dated many at the same time.
But the men of my current…
The men I choose daily.
These men you may or may never meet…
Some can be captured in picture.
Others in story.
More than one?
Yes in deed.
And does it matter whom they are to you?
Well lets just see if you have been listening.
They have your answer.
But the mirror will never lie.
As Always My Loves,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers
I share this tale with you today,
because it tells so much of our desire and need to know.
It show’s how difficult it is to just receive.
Receive without question.
And to let life be magical,
Yes, here I sit on day three of a mystery.
It is a BIG mystery at that.
Let me share with you the gist and what I have learned in the process.
Friday, like any day, I sat in my writing spot.
I wrote and people came through my space,
sharing their day,
their ideas and challenges.
I sat there and enjoyed them.
I enjoyed the moment.
And when the stillness came,
While writing the door bell rang,
my son answered and came back with a lovely bouquet of white roses and lilies.
He sat them down on my table and I read the note attached.
“I hope this makes an ordinary day, extraordinary! – Signed Me”
My heart smiled.
As I love getting flowers.
And I was just thinking how I needed new ones on my table.
It smiled because with these lovely flowers came a feeling of love.
I felt desired.
I felt like someone,
this Me character, knew what I needed in that moment.
As my days before had been challenging and overwhelming.
And here was just a breath of air.
And a very accurate desire to make my ordinary,
So whom was the me?
Whom could I give my thanks too?
My heart felt it was one person,
the flowers before me,
the bouquet choice,
seemed to say his name.
I sent a text in that moment,
as this person was out of town and state,
and I sent a text,
saying “Thank you, you just made me smile.”
It was received, but not acknowledged that it was a comment about the flowers.
Like any good woman,
who wants to know who gifted her.
Who wants to say thank you.
I sent a picture.
with a comment of, “Aren’t they lovely?”
And in response,
I got “Wow! yes they are. “
After sharing some, it came about that this man claimed not to have sent them my way.
as it was right up his line of action,
I found myself on the mystery bus.
And am still there.
three days later,
after asking almost all my old lovers,
and asking current men I share intimacies with,
and asking my children and friends,
I have come up with a loss as to whom,
sent these flowers.
And why does it matter anyway?
Why do I care so much?
I claim it is because I need and desire to give my thanks.
And that is partially true.
The reality is,
outside of the turn on that I have from the courting,
outside of the smile that it brought me,
outside of the romantic mystery,
and I do love a good mystery.
I want to KNOW.
Because I feel like I need to know.
But is that true?
What will it benefit?
What will it do?
Perhaps, the gift of the mystery,
is in the not knowing.
It is in the surrender.
this soul is asking for my surrender,
and asking me to just receive.
Much like the universe.
Much like God.
The request is simple.
Surrender and Receive.
Everything can be yours in so doing this.
But here I sit on day three.
Looking at my beautiful flowers.
And in my questioning,
I have discovered the answer.
The answer like with anything is always right in front of us.
Our soul always knows.
And the clues are right there.
The clues of heart and soul.
Of soul alignment.
Of getting EXACTLY what we ask for.
And just letting it be.
Be the beautiful, loving act that it is.
Letting that smile be seen.
The surrender be felt.
Here is where I sit.
I sit now,
still with a lingering question.
But knowing that I am being given my hearts desire.
that is all I ever need to know.
My gratitude will reach this “Me” whom sent the flowers.
It is felt already I am sure.
And this “Me” with a hidden smile,
in their knowing,
I thank for the soul lesson.
The lesson in receiving.
The lesson in true giving.
I feel great respect for this “me”
because they are not needing the pat on the back.
They are but just holding space.
And in that space they too are receiving.
the lesson remains.
Let It Go.
Let it go, and surrender to your receiving.
There is no need to know.
There is no need to thank.
The gratitude needed comes from the heart.
And this can be felt from any distance.
And now I have a question,
a question for you,
and I encourage you to inquire.
As it will change your world.
“Where are you not surrendering to your desire to receive?”
Where are you holding yourself back from all that you want, because you are scared of not knowing what will come?
Let this case of the mystery flower delivery,
be a lesson to surrender to the mysteries of God’s blessing and those that are used to manifest them.
Stop Existing & Start Living
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