Not Just a Sexy New Fad. – Orgasmic Living is the Answer for Women & Men Alike

mirrorwomanLooking for a sexual awakening?

Every day I work with sexual unsatisfied men and women. Year’s ago when I started my practice 85% of  my clients were men in search of help for some sexual issue or looking for an intimacy surrogate.

I remember longing for the day that my clients would be more balanced between the sexes. As I worked with hundred’s of starving men who felt shameful  for their desires I learned repeatedly that the one true cure to these men’s issues were for them to find empowered women. Women who were strong, confident and very much in the feminine instead of what our society supports where women are to be more like men. Which only causes disconnectedness, more shame, irritation, divorce, lack of libido for both sexes, health issues, sexless marriages/relationships and shear sexual frustration.

What these men needed was a Turned On Woman!

When a woman is authentically turned on by life and confident in herself as she is, she can support the divine masculine. She has no need to compete with the men in her life nor does she have a need to be jealous over other women. She is powerful at her core and is lead by her pussy not her mind.

Now, I am sure some who read this wonder why the hell a woman would want to be lead by her pussy or why we should encourage this even? After all that sounds like I am saying that a woman should go out and live promiscuously. It sounds as though I am saying that her sexing is more important then her trade, morals, or family status even. It sounds as though I am saying BECOME A SLUT to women.

And in an essence, this is exactly what I am saying.

But why?

By embracing your inner slut through educated sexing and learning what true orgasm is as well as what true turn on is, a woman can become for better terms, enlightened. When she allows her pussy to lead she will be more creative in life, she will discover her authentic yes and no, she will feel interconnected, vibrant, hormonally balanced, and dare do I say HAPPY.

And what does every man desire his woman to be? Yeppers, happy. The only issue is that normally he is lead to believe that it is his responsibility to make her happy instead of her knowing how to make herself happy. Plain and simple, no one can make another person happy nor is it their responsibility to do this. An emotionally mature, empowered person (male or female)  who is proactive understands this reality.

So can a woman of our time become empowered, happy, hormonally balanced (without drugs), emotionally stable, and in love with life among other things?

“For those open to trying the latest new-age craze, orgasmic meditation may be just for you. OM, as it’s called among its followers, is a holistic practice between two people where a woman has her clitoris gently stroked for 15 minutes in a non-sexual way by a partner with a goal to building connections and prolonging therapeutic orgasms.

The stroking is said to activate the limbic system in the body ie. the emotional nervous system, releasing a flood of oxytocin—“the cuddle hormone”—which cultivates an orgasm. However, the practice is not about the destination, or reaching orgasm, but rather experiencing the journey and whatever sensation may arise. Thus, according to its founding company OneTaste, OM expands the most pleasurable part of the climax as part of a “goal-listed” practice.

“You wouldn’t expect accessing your clitoris could change your life, but it does,” OneTaste New York office director Kim Howerton told AlterNet. “OM involves a sexual practice that includes pleasure at times, but it’s not a practice that is designed simply about pleasure. It’s designed for enjoyment, living a better life and having a better experience. It’s the opposite of hedonistic—more of a personal growth path, than a pleasure-seeking path,” Howerton explained.

While OM has been around for 13 years, people only recently started to sit up and take notice of the offbeat practice after founder and guru Nicole Daedone appeared on a popular TED Talk. Daedone, a former Buddhist nun-in-training with her own semi-twisted story to enlightenment, established OneTaste with a mission to teach OM to the world after being introduced to it by a random man at a party.

Following Daedone’s TED appearance, OneTaste was able to get a host of celebrities on board to promote its cause. It was subsequently featured on Deepak Chopra’s 30 Days of Intent on the Chopra Well YouTube Channel,where the practice, targeted at “tired and wired women,” has been viewed over a million times. Daedone says that like Vitamin C, orgasm is a nutrient that has been missing from the standard human diet for centuries. On the scientific side of the process, OM shares a lot of the same traits as Zen Buddhism.”

(— Full Article can be read at Alternet.org)

IMG_2902 editWhy I Use Orgasmic Meditation in My Practice with Clients

Orgasmic Meditation (OM) has become a foundational practice for my work with clients. I truly view it as the beginning stages to helping a woman and even a man who learns how to stroke start to shed the many veils of illusion and shame from their lives. Blended with coaching (talk therapy) and bodywork this practice become a beautiful piece to an Orgasmic Life.

In working with men, women and couple’s, I teach the concept as well as the practice of Orgasmic Meditation (OM) to almost everyone of my clients. Many of my female clients who are healing body image issues, shame, guilt and trauma while they learn how to harvest a healthy relationship not only with themselves but with men again learn to desire their weekly OM Coaching session. This 90 minute appointment consists of 45-60 minutes of talk therapy then a 15 minute OM followed with 15 minutes grounding. During the course of this appointment we work through many exercises to help empower a woman and help her connect to her pussy, her desire.  Women who believe they have no desire to women who believe they cannot have an orgasm discover that they have an inner slut who wants to be heard. She is there and she can be very loud. As a woman learns to release the “good girl” image and get comfortable with her inner slut, she also discovers a desire to enjoy ALL of life orgasmically.

Embracing the inner slut can be one of the most scary things a woman can do in her life time. It takes great courage and desire for healing to go against the grain of everything that has been programmed in her from societies need to slut shame to church, state and family as well as even lovers conditioning her to see and think of herself in certain ways. All the programs that women fight with are not new, but thousands of years old, set in motion to prevent women from acknowledging their true gift.

Their Sex!

When we learn to embrace our sex, we learn that desire is healthy. Love is unconditional.

We get see the world and reality in a new light. One that reveals how fucking AMAZING life really can and should be.

Today 65% of my clients are future Turned On women. Will you be one?

Join me along with many other Turned On people on this empowering mission of living life, not just fully but Orgasmically!

Compliments from a Gorgeous Cock Owner

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“There I was more wet and turned on then I had been during the course of our hour and half of love making. It was in this moment of exasperated passion that he chose to introduce a new toy to our adventure. A large microphone looking vibrator that when he powered it on I could hear the clinging of the ring on his finger. At first he teased my nipples with its pulses and then slowly moved it down the front on my body, crossing my abdomen and then resting it on my pubic bone. My breathing  quickened and I had to remind myself to remain present and breathe deeper. As I lay there focusing on my breath and trying to allow myself to be penetrated by the orgasmic vibration  my lover moved this pulsing toy down a notch more to where it now would rest on and tease my clit.  It’s vibration was so intense  I could feel an orgasm arising  within only seconds. My muscles tightened and quivered. I could feel my body wanting to let go into this rapture, but something was stopping me. Something was holding me in my mind and not allowing me to be fully expressed in this pleasure.  He could sense that I was not surrendering completely and without a remark he moved from where he was resting between my legs to standing by my head that was almost hanging off the side of the bed. His thick gorgeous cock erect and strong now teasing my lips and mouth as his hand guided my hand to holding the vibrator. Softly encouraging me to place it where it felt most pleasurable. There I lay naked on these white sheets, full frontal view exposed, vibrator in hand and on my pussy, pulsating  its lips and clit while devouring his ‘wand of light.’  My body begging me to just release into the orgasm, my mind wandering,  unable to just let go. My thoughts bouncing from:

“OMG, I really needed this, Mmmmmmm….” 

To “I wonder if he is really enjoying this. What is he thinking right now? God I must look horrible in this light, legs open wide and quivering like this, Lord I hope I don’t have anything in my nose, this is the wrong angle to be seen in…Should I look into his eye’s right now?”

Fearing I was making an ill face, that my stretch marks or the slight sag of my breasts might be a turn off I found myself unable to connect to the fact that I was being gifted with a most blissful moment with one of my favorite men. I could feel the orgasm growing tired of fighting for its life and on the cusp of giving way to numbed out flesh. It was in this moment that my lover chose to push me over the orgasmic edge and bring my focus to only one thing.

“God, you look so sexy, so arousing. I love watching your body. I could do this forever.”

With his complimenting words of how he was turned on and getting pleasure from just seeing me and how he enjoyed our sexing, I was able to release my mind and all the worry, fear and insecurity that was holding me back. I relaxed and opened myself to the moment therefore being penetrated fully by the orgasm. Heart thumping faster, blood rushing to my genitals, and my mouth getting as wet as my pussy. I wanted to feel him pressing into me in every way. I wanted to feel the earth move within my being while wrapped around him. I heard him moan with each flick of my tongue and suck of my mouth. Each moan injecting into my body more arousal, until I could no longer with hold the eruption. “

Truly we have no concept how powerful our words can be to another. Our messages shared in times of sexing can bring extra connection, depth and intimacy into the moment. Our statements of love and appreciation, our compliments and encouragements can free our lovers to fully experience themselves and us alike. Supportive love filled words can give your partner the nudge needed  to surrender to bliss and open them to feeling the complexity and beauty of the moment.

Men and women alike dance with shame, guilt, stress and fear when they are revealed during sex and often our concerns fall toward how we are performing, what we are appearing like to our partner and if we are “making” them happy.  We also experience times when stress from work, family, health, or finances might keep us mind focused and not in our body where we can taste the juiciness of life.  Many people even though they hunger for good and frequent sexing are shameful of their cravings because of their religious up-bringing or the ill perceptions that society holds. Often in the course of a long standing relationship or marriage partners will perform in the bedroom out of a feeling of duty causing their ‘love making’ to not be pleasurable to the body, mind or soul and instead their sexing becomes one of even more stress.

In relationships where NRE (New Relationship Energy) is still strong lovers may find it easier to go deeper in their love making and most likely are far more willing, excited and present in it as well. However, with any intimate moment that people find themselves vulnerable to another they may experience certain shut downs or at times difficulty surrendering to their partner and the orgasm. These moments when experienced can lead to many sexual issues for both men and women and if one allows this disconnect to persist for a long enough course of time they will experience (for a man) ejaculation without orgasm or limited feeling, erectile dysfunction, inability to come and an overall unconnected sensation from themselves, life and their partner. Women who consistently disconnect during sex start to experience more masculine energy in themselves, the soft, flexible, sensual nature of the feminine subsides and makes way for the harsher, direct masculine energy that men normally express.  This energy will take the female into the mindset of performance and a need to just “get off” from the moment instead of surrendering into the sensual dance or full body orgasm and connection to not only her lover but to herself and all of life. If allowed to persist women will slowly loose feeling or become over sensitive in their genitals thus causing them to feel a numbness or pain during sexual contact. Their mind will constantly be in a state of worry, stress or concern.  The natural luscious sexy nature of the woman will dwindle to a faint light and her mood will go from pleasant to harsh and insensitive or depressed and scared causing FOD (female orgasm disorder).

In current times these are frequent issues for both men and women alike, issues that CAN be healed. Pharmaceutical companies see the great opportunity that these issues bring forth and are quickly doing multiple studies on the sexual dysfunction epidemics that we in the western world are experiencing in greater mass. But the solutions to these problems are not going to be healed by popping another pill. Pills do not heal or fix a problem for the most part, they mask the symptoms and further burry the real issues at heart. Key world being HEART and anyone willing to do the work and develop the skills can experience a holistic therapeutic healing for such dysfunction. Matter a fact through the practice of holistic sexual healing individuals can experience greater sexual pleasure, longer lasting experiences, deeper intimacy, psychological as well as physical and emotional release of past traumatic abuse and more life satisfaction in general. A large part of sexual therapy is the reprogramming of our internal belief structure. This is done in varies ways but one of the most powerful forms of therapy is to be authentically seen.

What do I mean by being authentically seen?

A client will reveal themselves in an emotional, physical or mental fashion to the practitioner (possibly in all forms at once if doing advanced work and often all areas merge together once a client becomes strong enough to be vulnerable in one area). The practitioner will give the gift of sacred space, meaning that they will hold focus on only the client and be completely present with them, providing a safety net to just be themselves.  Naked in every way, the client opens themselves to being seen authentically and the practitioner shares empowering words, affirmations, and even touch in some cases.  Many clients are amazed at the healing and revelations that they have in these moments. Often people have not experienced this sort of honest, authentic caring and unconditional acceptance in their lives since they were small children. Coming from this space individuals begin to experience themselves and are able to release much of the negative dominant programs that have been running for many years. We can experience a degree of this holistic sexual therapy within our own personal relationships by practicing mindful authentic communication. Part of sexual communication is sharing compliments in intimate moments with our lovers. Such positive words work toward affirming that our partner is divine, beautiful, arousing, sensual, sexy and helps to support them in allowing themselves to surrender further into the moment and express themselves as fully as possible with us. Our compliments in times of sexing can help heal years of shame, guilt, negative self-talk, fear, self-judgment and pain.  Compliments not only fertilize your lovers heart but water your lovers genitals and over all sexual arousal and connection.

Living The Shift: The Union Between Sexuality & Spirituality as Part of our Evolution

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For some time, we have created and perpetuated the belief that sexuality and spirituality are two very different boxes in our lives, along with the idea that sex is dirty, impure, and “ungodly” – only acceptable for reproduction. The treatment of this part of ourselves as forbidden and primal has led us to using the act of sex in many debasing ways and has greatly minimized, if not eliminated altogether, the idea that sexuality is actually one of the doorways to help us remember our Divinity.

When we shift to accepting its higher vibration, our sexuality becomes a sacred form of self-realization and opening to the higher self, as well as opening to full union of higher love and connection with another. In this way, it’s incorporated as a crucial part of our spiritual evolution!

Our guest this week is Kendal Williams (www.tantrictransformation.com), a Tantric practitioner whose lifetime journey to self-empowerment presented itself through the melding of her sexuality and spirituality.

Listen to the recorded talk via VoiceAmerica

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Living the Shift: Our Evolution of Body, Mind, and Spirit

The Union Between Sexuality and Spirituality as Part of Our Evolution

Show date: 7/30/13

Key Notes from Kendal’s Interview

Angela: Please cover the highlights of your background, how your journey led you to finding your spirituality within your sexuality.

Kendal: Spirituality has been in my life forever. Sexuality was too, but I did not understand it as such. The world has always turned me on, everything about it. Even as a child I was fascinated and turned on my nature and by everything the world had to offer me. However it was not until my teen years that I was opened up to the possibilities. Love stepped into my life with a young man who was my first teacher. He brought a greater scope of spirituality into my life by introducing me to the concepts and practices of Tantra. Our lovemaking and deep connection opened me to life and the unity of spirituality and sexuality. My real lessons in love and in life  happened though when he left and my heart crumbled into pain. This allowed me to experience the rawness of life and great beauty came from it. I turned and walked down the path of what I call the, “white picket fence life,” You could say I strived for the American dream. Success. Or what we are taught success is, the house, car, travel, money, etc. I married and had children. We went through much chaos and learning and grew spiritually even though neither of us were consciously aware of the lessons at hand. Over the course of 17 years our paths slowly separated and our lessons needed to manifest apart from each other. Toward the end of my marriage I called into my life a teacher. I started paying attention to the omens/signs around me and reconnected to the spirit that I had always knew.  During this time of my life I was introduced to kabbalah and learned about the ego and how to expand our light body as well as the meeting of Duncan Knight (my tantra teacher and now dear friend).  I knew three things at this point: 1) I needed healing personally, I was numb to life and if I felt anything it was rage and depression 2) I wanted my relationship to my husband healed but was not caught up on any given physical outcome of that, whatever healed meant was good for me  and 3) I wanted to become a practitioner.

As I worked with Duncan my lower chakras started to awaken and heal, with this my desire for living life and feeling was summed back. I was horny. My kundalini was awakening and as it did I decided that I needed to explore sexuality deeper and expand out. This awakening brought reality into a clear picture, I wanted lovers in my life. I wanted sensual expression in my life. I wanted experience and I wanted the courage to do what was needed. I was scared to death of each step I had to take, but the universe provided me with many perfect souls that would become my guides, teachers of life, mirrors, lovers and friends and even a few that would come through to teach the hard lessons of pain and suffering. This time of life was full of miracles when I look back at it. Even as I worked through tough issues such as rape and the separation of a 17 year marriage I now can see the great beauty in what was being provided.

In the unity and healing of my sexuality and spirituality I opened the gateway to harmony, peace, unconditional love and acceptance of self and others and the ability to live unbound.

Angela: What is the difference between basic sexuality, as we generally know it today, and what sexuality can be (and provide) in its optimal state?

Kendal: Its ALL about integration. The integration of sexual pleasure and spiritual surrender. We do this when we learn to love and trust in life, not just in our intimate relationships. Openness is about the body opening up, our muscles relaxing, our hearts opening instead of hiding behind emotional blockades; where spiritual openness is fully feeling into each moment of life, feeling that there is NO separation between us and that precious moment of the present. When we do this we reach optimal bliss and passion not just in our lovemaking but in our daily lives. You see when we get turned on in the bedroom we are also getting turned on to life. Sex is a creative process that wants to manifest miracles. We are the ONLY species that has the ability to not only experience great pleasure from our “mating” but also not have it be mating, instead we have the great blessing of sex for pleasure and manifestation. This is where we need to start to except sex’s greatest gift to us. In our sexing we are able to expand our vessels and fill ourselves with an enormous amount of life force energy, if we open to this power of the creator and align our thoughts in the moment or orgasm to what we want to manifest in life then we can draw down these things, out of the quantum field of possibilities and have them materialize into our lives.
Angela: Does someone have to be in a relationship to explore this part of themselves? Please expound on this a little bit.

Kendal: Absolutely NOT. Some of the best and most powerful, spiritually evolving as well as educational sex is provided in the presence of no one other then ourselves. Self pleasuring is mandatory weather you are in a relationship or not. And I highly recommend that if you are single that you take this opportunity to work on yourself both sexually and spiritually. With self- pleasuring in a spiritual sense you learn to become the shaman of your life, you learn about your body, what you like and don’t like, you learn about your energy and how it flows through you at orgasm and if you are wise you will allow yourself to be witness to not only the pleasurable events of energy flowing but how your energy flows when you are upset, depressed or otherwise. How do these times relate in energy flow to orgasm and how can you direct that energy for the greatest good instead of what normally happens, a short circuit and then exhaustion. Through the practice of spiritual sex (weather alone or not) you can acquire powerful tools of self control, self love, acceptance, healing and learn to open to your own personal vortex of abundance.

Angela: What would be your advice to someone who’s put sexuality low on the priority scale in their spiritual evolution?

Kendal: Leaving sexuality out of spirituality is like trying to be positive all the time in life, by doing this we abandon part of ourselves. We are not being authentic. And by doing that we remain at the level that the part of us that we abandoned is still sitting. Only through embracing all of ourselves, including our kinks and dysfunctions, our traumas and our desires, our angels, saints and devils will we ever be able to become the full expression of love that the creator wants us to be. This is true surrender and surrender is powerful for our spiritual/emotional and physical growth. You have to remember that the thing that all of us that consciously walk a spiritual path subscribe to is the power of love, well that love-force that moves through the universe is also the same love force that breathes our breath and enables our hearts to beat as well as our genitals to experience orgasm. The only reason we don’t accept sex as a spiritual force is because of 2500 years of fear being programmed into us. When this fear dissolves, we no longer separate ourselves from the creator, we become part of the infinite flow of life. Opening sexually is opening to this flow of life. When we are having sex we are (if we are a man) penetrating the world with our presence in the moment, with our strength, our passion, our purpose. We are guiding the energy of the universe into what we want to manifest. (if we are a woman) the more we open our legs and allow ourselves to be penetrated we open to abundance, creation, love and surrender. In this we women carry with us the infinite universe within our wombs where we can manifest our dreams into reality.

 

Angela: What would you recommend as the first step for anyone wanting to explore their sexuality in a spiritual way – both individually and in a relationship?

Kendal: There are two first steps.

Learn to breathe. Breath is not only the essence of our soul but in learning how to properly breathe you will gain great insight into yourself, as well as have the most powerful step toward connecting, maintaining and controlling your life force energy. In our breath we can connect our spirits and travel up the spiritual ladder to heaven, we can expand our orgasmic state out into the world and fill our physical bodies with a sustainable energy that will carry us for days. Breath is the gateway to higher consciousness and sex that can heal and transform us as well as our world.

The second step is:

Have more sex. Really get properly sexed open every day if you can. Single or in a relationship take the time each day to have an orgasm and when you do come, breathe it in and allow it to fill your body, relax your muscles instead of tensing up and envision in your minds eye what you want to create. Consciously surrender into this state of pleasure with the feeling, vision and desire of the life you want to have.

Monkey See; Monkey Slam, Bam, Thank You, Ma’am!

Why Show-N-Tell Sex Ed?

Why Live demo’s?

Why offer hands on training?

This is all to TABOO!!!!

Monkey See; Monkey Slam, Bam, Thank You, Ma’am!

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It’s one thing for sex educators to talk about sex or show you pictures and graphs on a projector screen. It’s another thing entirely when sex educators show you how to do something, and invite you to ask questions… Especially when it’s not demonstrated on a piece of fruit, but on a real, live person!

Human beings are very much wired with a “monkey see, monkey do” mentality. Many of us learn best by watching. Because we are not allowed to learn about sex from watching others, our culture has turned to porn for tips and tricks in the sack.
With the ease and proliferation of free porn on the interwebs, now more than ever, porn is influencing how we behave behind closed doors (or in the back seat of our parent’s SUV). The problem with porn, in my opinion, isn’t that people are watching it; it’s that people are using porn as a How-To medium.s are very much wired with a “monkey see, monkey do” mentality. Many of us learn best by watching. Because we are not allowed to learn about sex from watching others, our culture has turned to porn for tips and tricks in the sack.

Watching porn isn’t the same as watching a qualified sex educator role model great communication techniques, ask permission, check in with their partner, get verbal permission from them before touching them, and then properly put a condom on while encouraging the spectators to ask questions.

There are several things when it comes to helping people learn about sex that are actually more easily learned if I show you the technique on a living, breathing human being and you can watch and ask us questions – an audience gets to see what “real sex” looks like. They can pick up the subtle nuances that aren’t always visible in pornography’s tightly choreographed and edited product. The more real the sex, the easier it is to grasp and transfer that feeling good and being respectful and safe has little to do with DD breasts, 12-inch cocks and squirting orgasms.

Yes, it’s a bit unorthodox by today’s standards to invite adults into a room to learn how to be a better lover by watching explicit, live demonstrations, but the simple fact is that even just talking openly about sex and intimacy in an honest and vulnerable manner is not the norm. There is so much work to be done! And there aren’t a lot of sex educators teaching explicit workshops.” — Reid Mihalko

Show-N-Tell Sex Ed

Learn to feel your partner or any lover in a way never experienced before. These workshops are designed to help answer your most sensual questions. Each workshop is designed for Single’s or those in a relationship.

 

“This could not have been a better Event and Demo. It was given with both sensitivity and information enabling me to be much more loving, respectful and talented with the woman I am with in the future. Great Thanks, Alexander, Kendal and Sharon” — Sandy from Dallas (Dec.2012 Female Genital Massage Demo Workshop)

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Over the course of my career as a Sex & Relationship Coach, Tantra Teacher I have explored many away to help my clients better grow in understanding, overcoming blockages, shame, fear, judgement’s, body image issues, relationship issues and pitfalls, and many intimate sexually related problems as well as learning how to manifest a life that they desire and deserve to live in total bliss and abundance.  One of the most powerful events as a teacher is to see your student/client excel and reach past the boundaries that they thought they had to remain fearful off. To see someone achieve their dreams in life and live abundance in ALL ways not just one idea of it.

Show-N-Tell Sex Ed allows for barriers to be pushed, questions to be answered and understanding at a much deeper level to unfold through the experiential exercises and Live Demo’s provided in a workshop. The expansion that participant achieve is unlike no other. It is a perfect solution as well to those who want to explore but are not ready for one-on-one bodywork or even a couple’s session. The ability to view and possible do some hands on learning opens gateways of education. Although Show-N-Tell Sex Ed is still a taboo for many people in society I think an easy to digest way to look at it is through the artists eye not the pornographic eye.

Anyone who takes a college art class would not be surprised or feel it taboo to have a live nude model come in to the classroom for all the students to view and draw or mold a piece of art after. This is a NORM in the classroom, just as with many educational practices for doctors to view, handle and even explore on a nude or partially nude model. I mean do you really think that a Gyno just learns out of a book and from some video’s? No, hands on learning, show-n-tell experiences, this is where the true are of education and understanding happens.

” I did not know it was possible for a man to have a full body orgasm and not come. This workshop taught me techniques that I never knew about in all of my love-making history. Thank you Kendal and Alexander.” — Debbie (Jan. 2013 Male Genital Massage Demo Workshop)

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Why is it that we as a society believe that we don’t need a deeper understanding of one of the most intimate, important and powerful parts of our lives as humans? Why do we put our sexuality and loving on the back burner? Why do we think a book is the only way to expand our sexual understanding? And  who really believes that there is some set format to learning about these intimate matters of our human experience?

No matter where you are in the world if you have the opportunity to explore a Show-N-Tell Sex Ed Workshop from a Coach/teacher DO!!!! Your life will only improve as well as your love skills!

 

Let the Artist of your bedroom out to play TODAY!!!!

-KW

 

Awakening Truth – Shaming the Vulva

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Over the last few years I have been working with men, women and couple’s. It has been an amazing path of self discovery for me as I work with everyone. One of many things that I have awoken to is how closed our society really is in the field of pleasure and sexuality. Yet we are over taken by these two things at the same time.  How is that we can constantly be sold merchandise with the appeal that if we get this or that it will make us happier, sexier, more satisfied, increase our love/sex lives and bring us bliss, yet still say that pleasure and yes sexual pleasure is not good; we should not crave it? Yet we do.

At the core of pleasure and sex for many people are our genitals. Our pussies and cocks or those of our lovers. We long to touch, taste, penetrate and feel the deep orgasmic pleasure roll through our bodies and watch this pleasure as well as feel it accumulate and release throughout our lovers. Yet because sex and pleasure are so taboo in society we really have no idea what we are doing and how best to achieve maximum results from ourselves or with a partner(s). This is especially the case with women and their vajaja’s.

It has been statistically stated that over 60% of women say that they know VERY little about their vaginas. And if this is true then how is it possible for men to ever have a sound knowledge of how to please us or our vulvas/vaginas?

edit 1 for websiteThe main reason for us women to not have a strong understanding of our most intimate pleasure palace is because since we were small children our parents and society have been telling us that, “ladies, don’t touch themselves like that.” “Ladies, don’t sit like that, or think those things, eat like that, crave that, act like that, and so on and so forth.” Yet young boys can run around without a shirt on, and touch themselves, groan, grunt, fart, make jokes and even if they get busted masturbating we say as a society, “boy’s will be boy’s.” We assume that because a boy does not have fatty tissue and milk ducts in the same way that a girl does that his bare chest is not obscene.  So why do we find our bodies obscene anyway? Do we find the body of our new born infant something that is grotesque and obscene? Do we look at a baby’s bottom as something that is yucky? NO. We adore these sweet “innocent” moments in our children’s youth. Girl or boy we see the beauty, we embrace the sweetness and we adore each moment, yet as a child ages we shame our children into believing that their flesh is something to feel bad about.  We teach them this and yet they sit down and every underwear, perfume, condom, and even many food, travel and alcohol commercials tell them that the flesh is something to crave and pleasure. The mixed programming causes us to mistrust society, our peers, our lovers and most of all OURSELVES.

Somewhere in the middle of these two opposite messages is the truth of what we as humans NEED. There is nothing wrong, shameful, disgusting, obscene or otherwise ill about anyone’s body or longing to feel pleasure in any form of the sense. What is wrong is to suppress these longings and shun then as though they were demons, causing self-hatred and sexual dysfunctions. Only through self-love can we truly learn to open and love another. And in our self-loving we embrace our human needs and desires for pleasure. We learn to heal through pleasure, both giving and receiving it and we open the doorway to new paradigms of relationship in all areas of our life.

Opening My Petals to Shame

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In my youth I was very inquisitive about my vulva and vagina and still am. I was amazed by every aspect of it. To the point that I would get my little boy friend to help me explore all of its petals. I wanted to experience what everything felt like. Much like a baby who puts everything in its mouth to discover what it is, I was playfully experiencing myself. I loved playing doctor or trying to reenact something that I had seen on the television in some movie or something. I was nosey as heck and dug through my father’s “personal” space and found some old Playboys that had beautiful pictures of naked or partially nude women. I adored looking at these pictures and of course even in my youth I compared what mine looked like to the models.

frjfrejgioeLuckily for me I grew up in a household where my mother was an older mom and was from Europe. My father was an out of the box thinker, whom often disagreed with societal norms even though he was extremely logical and programmed by a long genealogy of structure and societal standings. My mother was extremely open about sex with me and was more than willing to share her personal stories and answer any questions I might bring up. Yet, even though she was open about the topic she still was damaged and needed her own healing. She could only answer for me and share with me to the point of her understanding and level of consciousness about sex and pleasure. And because she was my mother, she also had the nurturing worry that goes with the god given job. She wanted my safety and she wanted me to be smart about things.  So there were plenty of times that I experienced shame in my youth from just exploring myself. Each time I got caught playing house or doctor in the nude with my little boyfriend, I felt shame. Every time I was interrupted in my shower masturbation games or bathtub pleasuring acts, I felt shame and embarrassment. When I took one of my dad’s Playboy’s to school in the 4th grade (a parochial Catholic school) and got busted by my teacher, I felt tremendous embarrassment, now I had not only shamed myself but my parents as well.  Each time I played up some steamy hot sex scenes with my barbies and my mom or dad walked in, I felt shame. Slowly as years past I learned that it was not acceptable to look at, touch, play with, explore or share these parts of myself. I became shameful and embarrassed of myself!!! My flesh, my internal word, my desires and my pleasures. So I suppressed them for the most part.

Even in my early sexual relationships I could not fully open to the pleasure and love that was before me. I was fearful that my lover would think poorly of my hungers. I was afraid that if I shared in great detail what I really wanted to experience or how I wanted or where I wanted to be touched, kissed, pleasured that my lover would think I was disgusting or crazy. I was concerned over the potential loss of this lover more then I was concerned about sharing pleasure in fullness with them. Of course, my lover would ask me, “What are your fantasies, your desires. How do you want to be touched? Does that feel good?” But I did not know if I could honestly answer and not be judged. And in a few occasions I did allow myself to be revealed and felt tremendous pleasure, but because of my back programs I woke the following morning questioning myself and feeling strange about my pleasure. As if it was wrong.

Healing through the Pleasure Palace

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My story is similar to many women’s tales. Granted there is so much more to all of our stories and programming then this short overview and many of us women have suffered through some sort of sexual trauma that has only supported our shame, embarrassment and self-hatred or misunderstanding.  Yet at some point in all of our lives we find ourselves at a crossroad, asking “What’s wrong with us?”

Why am I not happy?

Why does sex not feel good to me?

Why do I feel addicted to sex yet not satisfied from sex?

Why do I always attract the same type of man?

Why can I not love myself more, feel life more, connect more?

Why am I not getting over ________?

Why is that a good book or movie and bowl of my favorite yummieness is better than sex with my lover?

Why am I so emotionally unstable?

Why can’t I have an orgasm?

Why do I always fake it?

Does any of this really matter anyway?

The answer to these questions and many others can be discovered on a sexual healing path. One that leads us women into the depths of our vaginal canals where we can discover a great pool of self-love, healing, passion, feeling, intimacy and all sorts of forms of pleasure. Only through going into the source of where we store our repressed emotions, our shame and fears can we learn how to release them in a safe and loving fashion and fully except ourselves. By doing this we can call into our lives lovers, friends, and life partners that will except us and support us at the level that we need.

ndsaAny woman who finds the courage to take the step down a sexual healing path will quickly awaken to how powerful the path is and then to how powerful SHE is! In Tantra and many other sexuality practices such as One Taste, the first steps to healing come from revealing our petals and allowing another to actually accept us in a non-sexual, loving fashion. The immense healing energy of having yourself revealed fully, to be naked in every sense of the word in front of another human being and then to hear them say, “ You are beautiful, divine, perfect.” To hear them describe what they see in total acceptance and unconditional love as though they were marveling at some famous painters work. This step on the path to healing starts the opening of our hearts to ourselves. It allows for us to experience ourselves in a way many of us woman have not.

The sexual path of healing is a long and ever changing one. An individual has to be willing to not expect an outcome in any particular time-frame and has to be willing to face their inner darkness as well as their inner beauty within any given moment. The emotions, thoughts, ego and the soul of what comes up for us is something new each time. With each session we open ourselves a crack more and allow for more trauma to be released and greater pleasure to be expanded upon within us. We “clear” slowly the many levels of our psyche and physical blockages to pleasure and within time learn to open up the channels to our souls and heart.

As we walk this orgasmic path of healing we release shame of our vaginas. We learn to embrace our flesh and our desires. We come into communion with our higher selves. Here in the valley of our vagina we discover our pleasure, our truth.

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In the unmasking of this truth we awaken to our divine nature. Through, its unveiling process of sexual healing practices we also open the book of personal knowledge and become that child again, exploring ourselves, giving ourselves permission to feel, to taste, to look, to act, to PLAY and to embrace others to do the same.

We stop fearing and we start living! Living the abundant, orgasmic, pleasurable life that we were intended on having. With our orgasm we gift this world with love and radiance. We increase happiness and connection. With our ability to receive pleasure we gift our lovers with an intensity of passion and creative energy. We reveal to them our self-love and acceptance and thus show them a vast horizon of pleasure, love and acceptance for them as well. Here is the gate of intimacy! Even if it is with a first time lover…

–KW

Extra Relationship Energy – By Janet Kira Lessin

1man2womenEarlier this month while Rose, my female lover, furiously rode my husband during a love-in, my body felt that old familiar pain in my gut and my heart once again. I silently collapsed in defeat. Jealousy! When will I ever be done with that ‘ol green-eyed monster?

“I can’t ever possibly compete with that,” I thought as I watched them, peeking between my fingers. “They’re so involved; so wild in their passion, they don’t even notice me and how miserable I feel!”

What chemistry do they experience when they feel that wildness, connection, joy? It looks like, but no, it couldn’t be could it? Could it be … NRE–new relationship energy?

Wait a minute here. My husband had been involved with Coyote and Rose for about 15 years! This was not a new relationship by any means. I met Sash, moved in with and married him. A month later, he introduced me to his lovers, Coyote and Rose. So, if anything, Sasha and I are the ones who possibly still have NRE, not Sasha and Rose!

But here it is, obviously, an energy that is still there for them after all these years.

I had been in two long-term monogamous relationships, 12 years each, spanning 24 years of MY adult life. I know how sexual excitement fades, how lovemaking becomes routine, stale, perhaps even boring. In those monogamous days of my life, I contemplated that “swingers” probably maintained the excitement in their love life by bringing that new, novel energy back home to their beds.

And what of my observations of Sasha and Rose, long, long time lovers? Their energy “felt” to me like NRE. I was jealous. Does he have something different with Rose and not with me-his wife, his buddy, his companion, his lover, his confidant? Perhaps there is a “key” here. What do they have together that Sasha and I don’t have?

Could they be so passionate because they don’t live together? Could it have something to do with the frequency of their encounters? And if there is a different energy for those who are infrequent lovers, perhaps we need to coin yet another phrase?

How about ERE? External Relationship Energy? Extraneous Relationship Energy? Extramarital Relationship Energy? Perhaps OPE: Outside Primary Energy?

Familiarity breeds contempt, doesn’t it? My husband and I counsel couples, triads and moresomes, so I’ve heard all the stories. I’ve also read hundreds of emails and had hundreds of emails, chats and instant messages from people bored with sex with their mates. Many complain “My wife (or husband) won’t make love with me anymore.” The neglected mate often goes out and cheats and feels justified for their actions. “We started out so passionate, so in love. What happened?”

What I think happens is we pent up resentments. Pent-up resentments create distance in our relationships. We always create resentments; we can’t help it. When we’re primary lovers with someone, we inevitably resent them.

We resent our lovers because we’re in the thrall of negative bonding patterns–repeated sour interactions fueled by our childhood conditioning. We react to our lovers as though they were our mothers, fathers or siblings.

We and our partners are imago mates, deeply imprinted, desired soul mates who complete each other, who give touch, sensitivity, intimacy and respect we still need but didn’t get (the way we wanted) from parents. The catch to lovers who could heal our hurts with parents is that our lovers could disappoint us again if they don’t do better than Mom and Dad. Our imago mates resemble our caretakers–not necessarily physically–but emotionally, psychologically and energetically.

Our imago mates mirror us, reflect our disowned subpersonalities, our inner voices. They show us disowned aspects of ourselves we need to use to center ourselves. They mirror underdeveloped parts of our humanity; they do this by what they do or how they are that we envy or hate.

Here’s how this operates for me and Sasha. He snaps at me because he’s scared ex-wife Joan will get our house. He’s upset by that but snaps at me. He morphs into an irritable father. I become withdrawn daughter, then angry mother. He reacts as rebel adolescent. We stick in a parent/adult/parent/adult vicious cycle till we center ourselves, apologize, reconnect and make love wholeheartedly again.

Sometimes partners find that though they forgave each other verbally, resentment lurks within and eventually kills sexual desire. They create internal scoring systems. She hits the “One Too Many Resentments” button and they separate.

We overcome our difficulties and survive in our relationships, react less to our lovers’ predicaments, and learn new ways to enrich ourselves by learning from our lovers. We learn, grow and appreciate our mates more. How do we prevent resenting the heck out of one another over time? How do we keep that passion of NRE or infrequent relationship alive in our primary pair bond?

I suffered jealousy for days; I ranted at Sasha. I penned a 7-page “hate” letter to Rose! (how dare she, that Bitch!). I analyzed my reactions with Sash and Rose when they came over. We’d focused on pleasing them and showing them a good time. But we lost feeling of being connected to each other. I resolved to return to Sasha during water and bathroom breaks. We’d bring each other the passion we’d just shared with our Rose and Coyote. We’d keep returning to each other. Sash enthusiastically agreed.

I keep communication lines wide open with Sash as loving, tactful and honest as I can. We stay orgasmic, follow our tantric practices twice daily, we can also enjoy sexual diversity and simultaneously keep linked to each other. Then we bring the electricity of other loves to each other.

Janet Kira Lessin: Original Post No Longer Available

The Health Benefits of Tantra

tantracouplesexWhen people hear the word Tantra, they usually think of kinky sex and sex positions in the Kama Sutra. They find their way to it by desiring to enhance their sex life. That’s okay for starters. However you find your way is however you find your way.

But then to find it to be so much more than enhanced sex gratification – what a surprise! I have found many unexpected health benefits from practicing this ancient form of meditation and related breath practices.

I began Tantra like most people, thinking it would enhance sex making it hotter and maybe even wilder. I had no idea back then how powerful Tantra was to become in every aspect of my life.

Very soon, after embarking on this path, I became aware of a quieting down in the mind, something I had been trying to accomplish for years to no avail. This alone helped me to reduce my stress levels.  But that’s not all; that was only the beginning.

Now, after 14 years of practicing Tantra, I am aware that I am not suffering anymore about anything physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Did I know this would happen to me? No way.

Tantra roughly translated means “to weave” body, mind and spirit. What this literally means is that you can expand your whole being through increased awareness of your senses, feelings and energy. This includes awareness of your breath – the basis of all forms of meditation – with the addition of your sexual energy increasing your ability to feel – specifically feel pleasure – very different from other forms of meditation.

So how can Tantra affect your health?  Why is it a holistic form of healing?

Basically people feel little if anything. They are mostly living their lives inside of their thoughts, judgments, evaluations and assessments: living in their heads. When their bodies give signals, they miss or ignore them because they are trained to value only what the mind thinks. So most people are numb or they do not feel very good. When they do feel, it appears that they feel bad, sick, hurt, victimized. There is very little room for pleasure. As a matter of fact, they feel little to no pleasure at all. Pleasure shows up as anticipation rather than a sensual experience, one that is felt in the body.

Remember really wanting something like a new car? Then when you got it, the pleasure didn’t last very long, maybe until the first scratch. It wasn’t the feeling you expected from acquiring a new car, was it?

The mind can imagine something or other will bring us a feeling of pleasure, but it actually takes the body to feel it. For many people, feeling strongly passionately was discouraged. We were told we had to stay in control of ourselves, of our emotions. Things were said to us like, “Why do you feel like that? That’s not rational.”

So, we learned to bury our feelings and experience life in our heads. Our bodies became useful for wearing decorative adornments (attraction) and for getting us somewhere, like from meeting to meeting (minimal movement). In essence our bodies have become something we do to or use in certain ways, but not a source of inner knowledge. Not bad, just not pleasurable; not healthy either.

Many people have become automatons rushing to work, doing, doing, doing.  But when it comes time to relax, take a breath, we cannot seem to do it. For most people, it’s a little frightening to stop and focus on breathing.

When we look to find our pleasure, even erotic pleasure, there seems to never be enough time. Because we’re so disconnected, sex doesn’t live up to our expectations.  Or maybe, just maybe, all those feelings we’ve been holding down are likely to come rushing up and we can’t have that, can we?

That’s right, feelings, emotions, senses, intuition, memories will often come up during sex. And then what do we do? Who has time for that anyway? What if we go out of control? Who wants to experience that?

You do! I do!

Why is this so important?

You want to feel all of those feelings so you can increase your capacity for pleasure. It’s your birthright to feel pleasure and it’s an aspect of life to feel. In essence, it’s honoring yourself.

When you start this way of breathing and sensing, you will naturally feel better, happier, passionate, more alive. The operative word here is “naturally.” It is our nature to feel.

Okay, how? Why does this have anything to do with Tantra?

In Tantra, we learn to breathe along with doing Kegel exercises and making sounds. So, we learn how to breathe properly. Then we add sphincter muscle and PC muscle contractions to build a charge in our own body using the vital life force – sexual energy. This enables us to feel all our feelings.

Once we feel them, we learn to release stored toxic feelings and memories from the past. We also learn to transmute the sexual energy into a spiritual connection with our “higher selves.”

The result is eradication of feelings of shame and guilt as well as any other trauma we may have experienced earlier in our lives that’s has been stored in our cellular memory.

The outcome = pleasure, permission for unabashed life at it’s fullest – body, mind and spirit connected working in union.

Remember I began Tantra thinking it would enhance sex. I had no idea how my life would really change. Had I known, I would have become interested in Tantra earlier in life. Is sex hotter? Yes. Is that all? No. It’s so much more.

The Holistic Benefits Of Practicing Tantra:

1. Feel great about yourself – more attractive, self-confident, increase your capacity for more pleasure, experience joy and fulfillment as a way of life.

2. Empower your well-being – eliminate toxins, eliminate stress – accept yourself for who you are & release deep painful cellular memories; feel safe and whole.

3. Focus – set your intentions, do the practices and watch the laws of attraction bring what you want i.e. life partner, more money, career change

4. Uplift your relationships – see others for who they really are, relate to their deep divine nature and trust your intuition

5. Experience the expression of your deepest emotions. Know rapture, love, passion and beyond! Become your own beloved!

By Laurie Handlers:

www.ButterflyWorkshops.com is a sex educator, author, and intimacy coach. She holds a Masters in Education and a Bachelor’s in Psychology and Sociology. Her career includes over thirty years as a corporate change consultant, individual empowerment coach and international seminar leader. She’s a dynamic speaker, facilitator and has taught transformational workshops for women, men, couples, singles, parents and teens since 1978 on communication techniques and secrets that are the basis of healing the body, releasing past emotional trauma, stopping the aging process, and reducing stress. Pod casts from her show Sex and Happiness can be found atwww.WebTalkRadio.net. Laurie stars in a hilarious indie documentary “Tantric Tourists” and her new film “Beyond Dinner” just won best short feature award at the Erotikos Film Festival 2012. Her book Sex & Happiness: The Tantric Laws of Intimacy and her CD “Shamanic Release & Latihan” are samples of her offerings.

Original Posting

Between the Sheets: When one boyfriend just isn’t enough

DoublePenetrationNoJeansWe’re getting into our 20s — that time society deems suitable for graduating college, getting a good job and settling down with a partner. Just one, and preferably of the opposite sex. Just one partner to meet your social, sexual and emotional needs until the day you leave this earth.
Is it just me, or is that a little daunting?

Monogamy is sold to us everywhere we go — in the media, in the Bible and in our own households. The pairing of man and woman is, to some, the glue that holds our nation together.

But with the United States marriage rate at an all-time low of 51 percent (compared to 72 percent in 1960), it seems our generation is reconsidering its commitment to monogamy. In its place, a few alternative lifestyles have come to light — everything from cohabitation to civil unions to eternal spinsterdom. I’d like to introduce a relationship structure I find particularly intriguing and under-reported — polyamory.

Polyamory, according to Polyamorous NYC, means participation in long-term, romantically committed, multiple-partner relationships. For example, two women and two men all date one another. Each group member involved carries on romantic and sexual endeavors with whichever other group member he or she chooses, provided the person has the full consent of the group before the act is committed. They aren’t swingers or polygamists — just little clusters of folks all around the country for whom one partner is not enough.

A 2009 Newsweek article speculates there are more than half a million polyamorists living in the U.S., and they’ll be rising to the mainstream in the near future. There are now blogs, non-fiction books, Showtime specials and match-up networks dedicated to polyamory.

mfm-kissingDr. Kenneth Haslam, poly-activist and author of “The Twelve Pillars of Polyamory,” attributes the emergence of polyamory to a human need for variance. Take, for example, a long-term couple in which only one party is interested in bondage. Does the interested party repress that desire in an effort to preserve the sanctity of their monogamous relationship? Or does the person work with his or her partner to find a solution that’s acceptable to everyone? Perhaps a solution involves the consensual incorporation of an outside party.

You might think embracing this idea means sacrificing the unconditional love and trust one builds from sharing a life with another human. And maybe it does. But there are a large number of people out there, including former French first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, who have declared monogamy doesn’t work for them. And if you’re one of those people, it might be time to look into something a little further from the beaten path.

Don’t get me wrong — I’m not discrediting monogamous relationships. I, too, have apron-donning, childbearing, husband-loving fantasies about my future self. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t inform ourselves about the alternatives. Doing so on a wide scale will foster the eventual acceptance of polyamory — and similar lifestyles — into the mainstream. Experts say that after the battle for gay marriage is won, the battle for multiple partner marriage could be next. So suit up and keep your mind and eyes open as we ride into 2013.

By TONYA STARR in The Daily Midwestern

Orgasmic Womb-man Hood

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“When I gave birth, that was the first time I truly let go and surrendered. And it taught me how amazing that feels. Giving birth made me realize the power of being a woman. I have so much more substance in my life.” – Beyonce

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Orgasmic Womb-man Hood one of the most divine blessing that the feminine has been bestowed and yet we have been programmed to believe that these deeply spiritual and even orgasmic events in our lives are horribly painful and that we should not surrender ourselves to them but instead block these precious orgasmic moments of life transformation with anesthesia or short-circuit the whole event and have a C-section. This naked musing is posing the question to all women and men who dare to consider another side to the Miracle of Life. And in the questioning of the possibility of orgasmic birth we may also discover a different take on pain and suffering in our lives in general.

In pain you will give birth to children so claims the Holy Bible. But does that make it so? According to many for hundreds of years, yes it does. The bible said and therefore it is. But then why can over 21% of women surveyed say that they actually experienced orgasm during birth?

Being a mother, myself and having experienced labor five times and soon to be six, I can say that suffering and pain are not always there. At least not in the way that we perceive them and truthfully the lesson here is just that. Our expectations change the way pain is perceived.

Pregnant Mother Nature 019When we look at the orgasmic gift of birth we will discover that the same organs that are stimulated during sexual orgasm are also being stimulated during labor. As Christane Northrup, M.D. author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom has said, “The molecules of nature’s ecstasy are released in high quantities during labor.” Therefore it is simply science that a woman can have an orgasm during child birth and many women today are looking at possible ways to increase their chances of doing just this. I am one of them!

In my previous labors I did indeed feel pain, however I never experienced the sort of trauma that Hollywood would have us believe it is. Unfortunately for many women that I know they did not have the same more pleasurable experiences that I had. There is a lot that goes into it though and much like in other areas of life when we expect to experience pain we tense our muscles and our stress levels go up, causing our pain to increase.  But what if we actually learned how to surrender to this state of human experience?

What if we actually found romance and a sensual aspect to the painful events that all human beings must and do live through? What if instead of dreading pain and KNOWING that we were going to suffer, we decided to lose our fear and inhabitations and move toward the pain?

On the other side of ALL pain in our human experience is human ecstasy.  But we can only experience these points of high yummienessPregnant Mother Nature 078 if we are willing to surrender fully into it and transform the pain into sensational life energy.  When we surrender and give permission to those we are with to also surrender with us into our humanness we open the doorway to Orgasm. Weather it is in laboring a baby, a business, a divorce, or something else we step into our manifestional vortex of transformation through the power of surrender.

The SAME surrender needed to experience ORGASM!

A key note to this process that is among one of the most difficult for our society today, is to NOT medicate, mask, block or numb the pain of experience. In today’s world we are constantly being fed someway to “prevent” or “stop” painful events. We are told that we should want the highs in life but not the low’s and in order to achieve this we can pop a pill, have a drink, veg out to our favorite numbing event, or discharge our stress energy through unconscious sex or over indulging in some other way. All of these “anesthesia of physical experience” do nothing more than cause harm. They do not provide more highs and less low’s, they bring us to ground NUMB.

But when we look out into this world what do we see?

Zombies.

Pregnant Mother Nature 051Our world is a waste land of human zombies. We are plagued by a sexually repressed culture.  One where more and more people are turning inward and shutting down. Depression, anxiety, sexual issues, mental illness, anger, fatigue, and dis-ease are all at an all time high. More and more cases of people suffering from being bipolar, ADD, ADHD, and stress induced illnesses are being reported.  Sexual crimes and abuse in many fashions are also growing at phenomenal rates. This is what “Lost” looks like. This is what “numb” looks like.

Most people never tap into and harness their greatest resources: their “procreative” life force energy which can give increased energy, mental clarity, creativity and fulfillment in our lives. It is this same energy that a woman can tap into during labor and transform her pain into Orgasm. It is this divine energy that can catapult our world and heal us at levels that traditional medicine and therapy cannot even perceive. Rapidly too!

So how do more women experience Orgasmic Womb-man hood?

How do more people in general embrace this powerful liberating force and stop the insanity of being a zombie?

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We have to learn how to surrender in grace not fear to ourselves and our intimate relationships first. Followed up with embracing the fact that we HAVE NOT been taught how to love, sex or labor in life, but that there are people who can help. We have to be willing to step into those dark spaces of our subconscious and allow ourselves to really be seen, heard and felt. And we MUST recognize that how learning to harness our sexual potential is a Master Key to harnessing our life potential. Just as with the final contractions in labor we know that our sweet innocent angel will soon be in our arms, we also must know that with the final contractions of our sexual orgasm WE will soon be in the arms of our dream life.

Everything is interconnected and there is nothing that has not come from mind.

Our Divine Power to Create like the Creator is housed withing Our Wombs and in the embrace of Orgasm.

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Create the life you desire! Live Orgasmicaly today and every moment and transform those rough, edgy spots that could be perceived as pain and suffering into surrender so that you can bask in Orgasmic Bliss. 

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La Petite Mort of the Heart

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“At the moment of mutual climax, each as individuals has no more significance to the other than the gates of heaven for the one within.” – Swami Saying

christmas-queen of hearts 049“Breathless we kissed each other, fully intoxicated not only in our love for each other but also for the divine essence of its rapture that we were entering into. His whiskers teased my flesh as his lips tasted my bosom and slowly moved downward across my stomach and then his breath, warm and igniting cascaded across my vulva. A flicker of his tongue here and there, gentle thrusts of it entering the ripples of my yoni’s lips. I could feel my hunger growing as I became wetter and wetter. As he devoured my sacred palace of love and enjoyed its sweet nectars I slowly allowed myself to enter the mystical world of orgasm. A medative state manifested with each releasing moan of pleasure. Soon my flesh wanted to feel more of him, a deeper state of orgasm and full unity of deep penetration into a new realm of mystery, love and liberation. 

Pulling him upward, asking him to enter me with his wand of light, my anticipation grew and time seemed to pause. I could feel the inner realms of my pussy quaking and begging to grab a hold of his hard cock and suck on it as it thrusted within my palace.

 At last the moment of his arrival.

 A deep sense of pleasure, comfort and connection came through my being with each stroke.  Deep penetrative strokes blended with christmas-queen of hearts 048deep penetrative kisses, our hearts began the dance of this love making.  Slow, gentle and almost relaxing as the energy increased our hunger for each other with each quiver of our flesh. Chakras opening and aligning our vibrations. At times he would pause, breathe deep, allowing the orgasm to travel up through his being as well as the energy surging from his cock to pulsate my cervix and upward through my core and into my heart.  Once climax (ejaculation) had been recycled, he continued with rhythmic motion as my vaginal muscles squeezed, massaged and pulsated around him.  Then just as energy was intensifying, he escorted himself out of my pleasure palace and asked if he could penetrate me to a greater depth, teasing my anal rose bud with his cock.

 A deep breath of connection as I opened myself to him in this intense lovemaking fashion. Face to face, heart to heart, he slowly, gently penetrated me. Pausing allowing my muscles to accept and flex as they needed so that they could fully invite him in. Then nudging deeper and deeper within me.  My breath was held for a moment and then overtaken with an intense pleasure that was beyond words. Slow strokes of his member gently allowing me to die into this passionate pleasure of bliss.

christmas-queen of hearts 055Loosing myself with each stroke, my hands uncontained reached over my head, grabbing at pillow, the head board, whatever they could find. The intensity of bliss raptured like a comet coming into contact with the sun. I begged him not to stop, but instead to take me further. I wanted to become so vulnerable to this higher state of consciousness, to this land that we rarely touch. I wanted to feel as though he and I no longer existed, we were nothing and yet everything. Fully united and yet cosmic sparks of the creators bliss. As books, a lamp, a candle and who knows what sprayed off the night stand and onto the floor from my hands gone astray I only could find myself longing for this “la petite mort” to never end. For in this small death of my heart I too was being reborn into a new alignment of greater vibration and climactic understanding of self and of God .”

Many a great student of the sacred sexual arts as well as of spiritual development knows that enlightenment is something that we are all Open UR Heart born with; it is not something to chase after and to attain. The path to what we call enlightenment is held within our own sacred wombs. It is a treasure box of mystery and of bliss that the majority of human kind is scared to open yet craves to experience.  Abram Maslow, through research he conducted involving people who he identified as “self actualized” came to the conclusion that people who reach this level share some commonalities… one being that they “routinely experienced orgasm as a spiritual experience, mystical even.”  Napoleon Hill in his 1938 publication of Think and Grow Rich discovered that all the greats of time shared the ability to transmute their strong sexual energy into a driving force that would allow them to manifest the life that they desired.  He called this transmutation the ability to transform mediocrity into genius.

If we were to explore all the enlightened cultures of the world gone by we would see that they all revered sex and its magical ability to manifest abundance and bring its students to a higher divine state of consciousness.

“The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the heartbeat of the universe. To match your nature with Nature.” Joseph Campbell

Fulfillment in Love

Here is the secret of “The Secret” or the Law of Attraction or Affinity. There are many things that we can do to set ourselves into the vortex of creation but among them the most powerful and most pleasurable as well as fun is to allow ourselves to experience La Petite Mort (the little death) through the life altering state of orgasm. In this state of living expression we destroy our false parts and give birth to our true nature, that being one of a god/goddess; the creator of our own destiny. Many people experience “orgasm” as climax or a high peak that lasts but only a sniffle in time. This is sad that such an alchemizing event is belittled into a momentary muscle spasm of stress release. We view our relationships and our orgasms as something of minor use. In today’s views many people think of their relationships as economic agreements of convenience. These relations are of no real use other than to save money on taxes, get another to feel committed and abide what the contract states or to keep the status quo in good standing for society. Often these contracts are sold to us at youth as a sign of abiding love and something we should desire, but once we grow up and walk down the isle of this lie we discover that most of the time the contract is actually only self imposed shackles that detour us from our true nature and divine ability of create a beautiful world. FACT is our relationships can be significant catalysts to designing the life we desire. They are the harvesting ground for the planting and nurturing of our DREAMS. Each orgasm that we allow to devour us takes us to a new thresh hold of life experience and understanding, bringing us a step, a leap or a bound closer to awakening to the enlightenment of God that lays dormant within our cells.

When we fully surrender to orgasm at this level it becomes what Maslow described in his discovery, “… a spiritual experience, mysticalchristmas-queen of hearts 066 even.” It is in this sacred space of orgasm that we can discover ourselves again and again. Each time at a new vibrational level. To quote Joseph Campbell. “We must be willing to let go of the life that we have planned, in order to accept the life that is waiting for us.” This can only happen through surrender and when we are willing to surrender at this level of living we embrace these multiple mini deaths of self and realization and sometimes even larger, more monumental deaths and we come to the place that Anais Nin spoke of: those who live this deeply have NO fear of physical death.

christmas-queen of hearts 080In orgasm we physiologically change. This is done through hormones and neurotransmitters shifting and being released into our systems. Our physical bodies release fluids that cleanse us and nourish, we for a moment in time escapes the conscious mind and the ego and are liberated into greater parts of the Tree of Life. Yet so many of us allow ourselves to not explore this deep timeless state of surrender and rejuvenation. We prevent ourselves from our maximum capacity to attract all that we long for into our lives by only experiencing superficial orgasms. In a full state of surrender into orgasm we can experience space and time without separation. It is truly this transcendent state that we all crave and try to achieve in any way that is possible. For many though we try and touch this place of mindlessness in an unhealthy way or one that allows us to breathe in life through adrenaline. Weather the vice is an after work drink to relax the nerves and set the conscious mind at bay or an exciting sky diving lesson, it is the experience of life in a higher state of vibration that we are craving. It is the touching of the creator’s big toe that our heart and souls desire to embrace in experience during this physical reality.  M. Scott Peck in his book, “Further Along the Road Less Traveled,” says that in order for us to reach the highest spiritual climax possible, through intercourse naturally there has to be a deep spiritual connection between lovers. Once we reach that “brief peak point of little death” we lose some sense of physical reality no longer completely grounded in the earthly world, a loss of ego, self, separateness… it is a state of ego death.  When we release the ego all that we are left with is LOVE. In this state of blissfulness the world will rearrange itself just for us allowing us to become the great alchemists of it.

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In this spiritual climax we can overcome all obstacles. We can choreograph our life according to our soul’s purpose and heart’s desire and we can call down the blessing from heaven that God longs to share. Here we don’t just exist and make it through another day, content with a mediocre reality, her we excel in life experience and truly LIVE the life that we were destined for. Here in this state of orgasm we reach a new level of mind blowing meditation and climactally embrace the world.

All you have to do is ask yourself if you BELIEVE that YOU are worth your dreams? Or would you rather settle for a life of average and ordinary, one where the after work cocktail and the superficial sniffle of the average orgasm is what you are allowing to be the highlights of your life exploration?

The power in your coming desires to GIVE you the life you always have dreamed of.

–KW

Sacred Sexy Love