You have a lack of boundaries with yourself beautiful.
Your boundaries for self SUCK.
You cannot even deny it.
You may be under the impression that you got all your shiz together,
that boundaries are goofy or not really needed,
I mean you hear people say all the time with pride that they have none,
or perhaps you have what you consider very hard boundaries,
but baby I got news for you.
Porous or solid,
your self- boundaries suck.
And here is my observation and reasoning for you.
You refuse to commit.
You refuse to stay consistent.
You refuse to do the DAMN THING that you KNOW you must do for yourself.
You keep turning your back on YOU.
And then you have the gumption to b*itch about it and proclaim,
I took that class…
I got that help…
I tried that…
I had patience…
I pushed myself…
I focused on that…
I did that meditation, journaling, “work”….
I did it,
“IT” did not help me.
“IT” did not give me the results that I wanted or expected it too.
you are full of crap right now.
This is all bullsh*t!
“IT” whatever “IT” is or was has NOTHING to do with you having success.
The thing that determines your success is YOU.
Doing this THING that you “tried” is not ever going to get you the results that you want.
“IT” is support, education, a new viewpoint, system, guidance to help you achieve what you want IF….
YOU do the damn THING that you need to do.
And that THING is COMMIT.
That thing is staying consistent.
COMMITMENT + CONSISTENCY
to YOU beautiful.
And what does that look like? 🤔
➡️It looks like you getting up in the morning and stretching,
breathing into your beautiful body and feeling the gratitude that your body supported your life all night without any conscious effort from you instead of dreading the day ahead.
➡️It looks like you NOT choosing to look at the money you do not have in your bank account before you drink your first morning coffee or shower.
➡️It looks like you applying your focus to positive affirmations instead of looking at the bank account.
➡️It looks like you expanding your knowledge around things that turn you on instead of spending your time with things that drain you.
➡️It looks like you believing that you are worthy of love, success, a beautiful body, abundance and safety instead of focusing your fear on the opposite.
➡️It looks like you committing to YOU and not being the people pleaser that you feel you need to be in order to feel connection, love and gain success in any subject of your life.
➡️ It looks like you not making excuses about your money, your emotions, your responsibilities, your health, your support, your time, your vibration or the economy and JUST DOING THE DAMN THING!
➡️It looks like you being strong in who you are and what you want instead making allowances for being weak and stupid and letting your fears and worries dictate you results.
That is what it looks like beautiful.
But no one,
no coach, educator, marketing system or therapist,
no healer or medication,
But your COMMITMENT + CONSISTENCY can get you this.
So back to those boundaries that you seem to be having issues with and you want to ignore so fiercely.
Back to making some things nonnegotiable to your life and how you choose to show up and claim it.
Back to getting real and raw,
that is the hard thing.
That is the challenge.
To recognize and accept that YOU.
you are the one holding the map.
It’s your decision what way to go each step of your path.
And even when you feel like you have some great reason as to why you are going a direction that you know is out of alignment,
that ONLY YOU are making that decision.
And it is NEVER forced on you.
You CHOOSE how you react to any given experience or moment in your timeline.
You CHOOSE what you apply your attention and energy too.
You CHOOSE what you commit too.
But always remember that…
YOU ARE COMMITTING TO SOMETHING.
Where does your commitment lie?
Stop Existing & Start Living
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I am looking for a girlfriend experience…
I can’t help it, men wake up with cum on the brain…
It’s your fault, you are so hot, I just cannot control myself…
You teach tantra, so that means that you will have sex with me…
I want to sex you…
So what do you think? (insert below average unsolicited dick pic here)
And so many other statements that we coaches, educators, tantra teachers and WOMEN GET DAILY.
And I have left some of the more raunchy ones off of this list.
If I shared what gets stated and shown to me frequently via Facebook messenger and other lines of social media and randomly to my email or phone I would get kicked off of Facebook. Funny little note here, if I report someone on Facebook for sexual harassment or aggressive statements or out of standard pictures I get to keep the pictures and messages, it is left up to me to dispose of them. But if I say one word that someone scrolling through see’s and is upset about then my posting is trashed and I am booted for three days…FAIR????🤔
My rant here is because I want to bring to light the ill ideas that so many have of women in general.
How so many (sorry men, but it is effing true) men think it okay, normal, ACCEPTABLE and even appreciated to message and make the comments that they do to random women they do not know or even ones that they do know.
The above leading statement, “I am looking for a girlfriend experience.” was recently messaged to me here on Facebook from an old client of mine who after yesterdays communications has been blocked and is on the cusp of having a restraining order served if he does not simmer his ass down.
YES! He took it that far.
It is hard to rattle me.
It is difficult to get to me with the distasteful pictures and comments.
I typically just delete after a good laugh. 🤣🤣🤣
With no message back.
Every now then when I am hormonal or just in a bitchy mood and had enough of the shenanigans that these pervs who seem to be dressed up as adult men send out,
on these days,
these days I get a little sarcastic.
And fire back something. 📣🤣🤦♀️
I consider it tossing my ego some breadcrumbs.
As I do so much work to keep light on my ego and stay aware of where it is and how it is trying to control me.
But then this shiz 💩happens.
An old client solicits me for sex.
Assuming it is okay.
Assuming that I would I guess be excited at his proud offer.
And then to his dismay, I say – NO! 😱
Sorry sir, I don’t do that.
I don’t sleep with my clients.
I don’t do sexual things with my clients.
If you want to do a coaching appointment over dinner, yes we can .
If you want and extended coaching session, yes we can do that too.
You want me to listen and give you connection that way, yes we can do that too.
You want a hug. – yes I will give you a hug if you need it.
Oh wait, you want me to come to your hotel room and stay the effing night????? ( scratching my head as I wonder where he got this idea from🤔)
Ummmmm…. let me see if that is in my pay grade? or desire grade?
And yet so many men out there think that we women will be ecstatic to just have a guy message and say, ” I wanna f-ck you.” or ” I love you. So lets have sex. Let me touch you here and there. Do this and that to you. I can show you want a real man is like.”
And we women are to go weak at the knees I guess.
And get wet, and be like “Oh my God, my soulmate has arrived! YES. YES. YES. Please, take me. Let me bend over for this two pump chump that I have been dreaming of.”
Oh I know what will make it better.
This chick she is hot and she teaches on sex.
I will offer to pay her for the two pumps.
That will be appealing.
That will seal the deal.
And these same men will proclaim themselves Conscious Men.
Emotionally Mature Men.
Understanding Women Men.
Of which none really apply.
I am a woman who loves men.
I love supporting men.
I love working with men.
I love seeing men become better men.
Having the love, the relationships, the sex and abundance that they want.
But with someone that is not me.
Unless you are my boyfriend. My lover.
Which FYI is NOT an easy place to get.
Women can be easy for sure.
Some more than others.
And this has a lot to do with a lot of things.
But most women who love themselves, respect themselves and KNOW WHAT THEY WANT.
Will not bed easy.
Or with just anyone.
And for certain not with these FOOLS!
Sorry wantabe gents, I only provide a girlfriend experience to my boyfriend.
And he is my boyfriend because he is at least wise enough to not make these stupid assumptions.
SO this rant, is for all you ladies out there.
Single or taken.
No matter your relationship status,
no matter your body type,
no matter your background,
or ethnic background.
I know we all get this SHIZ consistently and it sucks.
So the next time a dude sends you a unsolicited dick pic and says what do you think baby?
Simply say, ” I think you should not be sending me child pornography and I am reporting this.”
Guys, you can call me whatever name you want right now, and if you are calling me names and taking offense then you might be one of these dudes I am speaking of.
In Jeff Foxworthy terms, “Here’s Your Sign!”
This may be a controversial post…
This may have some anger and frustration attached,
and I am NOT claiming that all men are this way ( thank goodness you are not or we women would be very upset and lonely) What I am saying is that –
💩💩💩THIS SHIZ IS NOT OKAY!!!💩💩💩
Guy’s you have got to realize that if all you think you have to offer is that little picture and some fowl words, some begging and then some anger when you get NOTHING but crickets or go the eff away….
That YOU have got some inner work to do.
You have got to learn some things about women and life.
We don’t owe you anything, certainly not our sex.
Maybe a blocking on social media… but our thanks and appreciation for this crap is not owed.
You want to have a chance with a women,
appeal to her mind and heart.
Women DO NOT operate like men.
Your pictures will not captivate us and make us want you.
And we typically don’t let sex rule our lives.
Or our actions.
And if you really want a woman,
then you need to F-CKING EARN HER!
Become a man.
We are not babysitters.
We are not wanting the immaturity,
Your sexual comments are NOT A TURN ON.
I sure as eff hope so.
But sadly the men who need to read this,
And to the rest of you men out there,
who this does not apply too.
Keep doing you!
The world needs more GOOD MEN.
Okay rant over.
Stop Existing ( And settling for so little) & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
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I know what I want.
I know my desire.
I feel my heart yearning.
Calling for me to breathe,
breathe life back into it.
To not fear love.
Or to be loved.
To not belittle love,
offered at my doorway.
I hear my lovers words,
the sweetness they make,
the commitment they stand before,
the desire that erupts in them,
and the love.
The love that they are carried on.
I hear him share his heart,
I feel his soul hold space,
for me as I share in return.
I share my fear.
I share my struggle,
I share my desire.
And I want to run.
Can he be the one that can hold me?
Is he willing to really love me?
Or will he crumble
from my weight,
the weight of who I am
and all I want to become.
His words are nothing new to my ears.
Unfortunate tales that many a sailor in my feminine currents have sung before him.
They all long to be the one.
They long to capture my heart.
They enjoy my body,
they are intrigued by my mind,
they get lifted by my spirit,
but they know that the true battle,
the crusade is for my heart.
And it is a heart that has been scorned,
a heart that has been tossed away as it opened deeper.
My lover looks at me with loving eyes,
he aims to penetrate my soul,
he desires for me to feel his commitment,
he is confident that he can hold me
and dance in my fire.
His voice echos words of my past loves.
He shares he does not want me to change.
He does not want to control me.
yes he can love me and I am not to much.
I feel his heart,
I hear his belief,
but these words are easy to say,
while you sit by the fire and get caught up in its mystery.
What will he do when my fire escapes its container?
What will he do when it desires to over take his heart?
When it burns,
burns in its glory,
in its beauty.
Sure he will enjoy its dance,
but will he be able to handle it being ignited?
Through time and space we dance,
we open and close.
I look away but for a second,
as I sense him leaning in.
My soul wants to be taken.
My heart wants to be penetrated.
the fear conquers them.
It masks the emotions that beg to be seen,
and it makes me retreat.
Retreat once again,
Back into my lonely cave.
Where I feel safe.
Safe in my not having.
Safe in my not being seen,
if even for a bit longer.
Yet he still see’s me.
And I know this.
He leans in further,
his lips softly open,
he asks for a kiss.
My heart shakes,
it rumbles in fear and excitement.
For all it ever wants,
wants to be chased,
wants to be desired,
wants to be opened,
wants to not be given up on.
In its wanting,
he steps a bit further into the fire,
and proclaims his presence.
Asking for my depth.
Asking for my emotion.
Asking for my fire.
And so it is,
that I breathe in.
Just one breath,
just one perhaps.
And answer him in the only way I can,
in this moment.
This perfect moment of our lives.
“As you wish.”
Comes from my lips as we meet once again.
To all those who have loved and lost,
loved deeper than they can ever share,
who have tasted true love and will never settle for anything less than.
To all those who have stood in the goddesses fire,
who have been burned, who have been mesmerized by its flames and desired to conquer it.
To all those who want to feel its ignition,
who believe that they can hold it.
And dance with it.
Much love to you this day.
Open yourselves to love,
as it is what makes you feel alive.
It births your soul into all it desires,
all it needs and can be.
And let yourself be seen.
Stop Existing & Start Living
You say you can hear my smile in my voice.
You say that you want an opportunity to court me.
You say so much…
It is not your words.
It is all in your actions.
In those looks you give me.
The way your lips turn slightly different with your smirk,
The way you take my hand,
the groans that you make when you are close.
You say so much,
in the way you stay present with me.
The way you always make sure to be the gentleman.
You lead me strong.
You lead me with love.
You say that you believe that people grow tired of each other,
and without saying,
you let me know you fear that I will grow tired of you.
You fear that I bore easily.
But your desire for me speaks,
in all the little things.
They do not go unnoticed.
You say that if we did it right,
then we would not grow tired,
because the thing that bores,
is that when two come together they do less than more.
You are right.
And so I lean into your lead.
I lean into all that you say.
With your words.
With your smirk.
With your groans.
With how you hold me.
With how you protect me.
With how you remain present,
dance in this beautiful energy.
This energy that we have danced in,
and we have paused from,
and find ourselves back in.
Yes you say so much.
So much I want to hold on too.
So much that causes my heart to quake.
So much that scares me,
because in your presence,
I feel beautiful.
In your arms I feel held.
In your embrace,
I feel loved.
And when you look at me,
with your everyday sultry eye’s,
I feel like your queen.
You say so much,
in so many ways.
And it is these things that captivates my soul.
It is these things that ignites my heart.
It is these things that opens me,
Open’s me to your love.
To the man that you are.
The man that I had tried to ignore.
The man that is patiently waiting.
Waiting for me to return,
return that look,
return that smirk,
return that holding,
To all the gentlemen who remain strong masculine,
leading in love, in compassion, and desire.
To all of you gentlemen, who understand that courting is vital, and leading is your part of the dance.
You are loved and needed.
Stop Existing & Start Living
Explore my Passion Coaching for Couple’s of Private Solo-Coaching. Two Private Coaching Spot’s open NOW.
Open and Shut.
The lesson of my year.
When this year got started I looked at it and just knew that it was going to be transformational.
Now I am not an overly superstitious person or one that listens strongly to “hocus pocus” sorts of things, but I do pay attention to energy and take it all in.
Born in the year of the fire dragon according to Chinese astrology, the year of the dog that we are in typically brings in relationship transformation items for me.
You can call this bogus, and I often do myself in my own head.
Questioning things as they do not line up to my logical, scientific, realist thinking and understanding, however there are times that I see that these “mystical, spiritual” sorts of things actually do shine a light on potential energy of the moment.
This all being said, the year of the dog has proven once again to be a year that is reorganizing my life in ways I never anticipated.
The last year of the dog I told my now ex-husband that I wanted a divorce.
This year both my over 6 year intimate relationships came to an end suddenly and friendships are changing right before my eye’s as well. My family is growing in number, orchestrating itself, I feel pulled away from my mother and I am questioning some relationships that are lingering.
The year of the dog is all about relationship.
And for us dragon’s it reveals the truth in these areas.
Change is always difficult.
The feeling of loosing those who have been closest to you is never easy and is painful at a level that I do not believe I have words to express.
Yet I am reminded in these times of relationship transformation, the wisdom and comfort of Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
” To every thing there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time of war, and a time of peace.”
As I move through this year,
I feel my ego wanting me to shut the doorways on life,
to fully retract from things that I enjoy,
form the relationships that I do have,
or to shut down from the people that I am in a relationship transformation with.
I have observed that as these changes occur that my fellow transformation warriors often choose to shut themselves down and out.
Making what seem’s like a public display of their pain by closing the doors to what not is, but what could be.
The pain of transformation effects everyone differently,
and I am not proclaiming that there is any right or wrong way to go about it.
It is nothing more than a noticing of these times.
My way has always been about opening.
Just because a relationship is evolving,
just because new boundaries are being established,
just because truths have been spoken,
and hearts revealed,
that in my humble opinion does not mean that one must shut down to the relationship and close it fully out UNLESS,
That is that the vibration between souls is so great of a difference that they cannot co-habitat in any fashion or sense.
Then a full closing must happen.
At least for a time frame.
In this case, I am reminded of the wisdom ,
“Time heals all wounds.”
I use to say this was rubbish.
But now in my 40’s I know that it is truth.
I have had my heart broken in many ways,
by those I never thought would and I have done my fair share of breaking of other’s.
This process will never end,
but what I have learned is that over the course of time,
Time will heal the woulds.
Time allows for us to move if we desire from a state of closed to a state of open.
It allows us to educate ourselves about the lessons that we practiced in these past relationships and to expand ourselves more, yet always offering a deeper realization of ourselves.
Relationship is all about us meeting ourselves at a more intimate level.
Our relationships with others reveals to us our internal relationship with ourselves and with God.
As we step forward on this path of transformation,
we find our guidance here.
The steps we are to take will be lit by blessings that will guide us and desires that will call to us.
Do we choose to open or shut to them?
The answer to this question makes all the difference on our path of understanding and healing.
We are always being offered a choice.
It is always ours to make.
What manifests in our life experience comes from these choices and the energy of opening or shutting in any given moment.
It is truly only by leaning into love,
and remaining open through the pain of the transofmration,
that we expand to our deeper self.
In loving gratitude for all those relationships through my life that have offered these lessons and I have been able to take part in. May we all move toward a deeper union with our truth.
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
What is your art?
Claim Your Life.
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.