THIS is How You Get Your Woman to Want Your SEX!

“Baby you know I want you to love me! All I want is for you to tell me how you will do this! So I can think of you loving me! Don’t you want me to think about you constantly loving me? to keep me so horny for you?”
 
It’s laughable is it not?
 
Yet THIS is how so many unconscious men believe that women want to be spoken too.
 
THIS is how so many men believe women want to be related too.
 
THIS is how so many unconscious men believe INTIMACY to be.
 
But it’s NOT!
 
Over and over again I witness in different ways,
from messages and emails, texts and actual conversations.
 
From people in my practice who are clients to people who want to be clients.
 
From the lovers in my life,
current and past.
 
I witness from men the concept that women have the same turn on switches as men.
 
The reality is that 90% of the time THIS could not be further from the truth.
And when men approach women in the way men get turned on,
touching us the way they think we want to be touched,
which typically only provides them with pleasure,
speaking about intimacy, sex, relationship, connection in the way that turns them on but never slowing the eff down enough to inquire what makes us happy, aroused, ignited…
 
THEY TURN US THE F-CK OFF!
 
Not On.
 
Statements such as the one above are not about:
connection
intimacy
igniting the woman
learning her
sharing
or even viewing her as human.
 
These statements are about:
“What can she do for me?”
“How can she turn me on?”
“How can she pleasure me?”
 
It is a statement of USE.
And turns your woman or the woman you are speaking too into a masturbation tool.
 
NOTHING More.
 
If we aim to turn a potential partner or our partner on,
if we aim to arouse someone,
then we MUST learn how to relate to them.
 
Now men get turned on by visual stimulation,
men get turned on by mental stimulation, fantasy.
Men get turned on by sexy talk.
Men want to witness the act,
and they want this because sex happens outside their body.
It is happening on the outside layer of them not internally.
They get ignited sexually first.
The heart and emotions come second,
and when the sex diminishes so does the heart.
 
Women on the flip side,
get turned on by feeling adored,
feeling safe, feeling like her partner is into her,
appreciating her for her thoughts,
her views and ideas,
women get aroused by sensual touch or compassionate touch,
women feel connected when their partner inquires about her day and life AND LISTENS to her response instead of the football game.
Women need to actually LIKE their mate and feel their heart/emotions.
When a woman is opened up in her heart,
her sex opens with it.
When her heart closes,
her sex follows.
And she DOES NOT FEEL YOU any more.
 
So if you really want to ignite your woman,
or any woman for that matter,
heed this message.
 
And penetrate her heart first.
be a good guy that is compassionate and INTO her as a HUMAN BEING,
inquire about her likes, dislikes,
her day and views.
Get into the FEELS with her by sharing how you actually view things, feel about different stuff and show her that you are HUMAN too.
STOP touching her for your arousal and start asking her how she wants to be touched.
 
Learn your woman.
Not by insisting that she relate to sex, relationship and intimacy the way you do,
but instead by honoring the beautiful feminine that she is.
Which is FEELING.
Which is HEART CENTERED.
 
And then look out,
because once you open her heart to you,
(if she is into you like that, which you have no f-cking actual control over BTW)
then she will ROCK YOU sexually as well.
 
Or keep relating the way you have been,
and wonder why women are moody,
shut down,
on edge,
and walk away from you.
 
Your choice.
 
I suggest being a CONSCIOUS MAN.
 
Because Average and Ordinary ain’t no fun.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Working with couples and singles on have a F-ck Yes! sex and intimacy life is a passion of mine. I believe that YOU are worthy of that and more. Message me for deet’s on how I help you create a kick a*s love and financial life today. I work with people globally.
https://www.tantrictransformation.com/micro-consult/

WHY I DO SEX DAILY.

WHY I DO SEX DAILY….
 
I have sex almost daily.
It’s just my THING.
I do sex daily yes because I love sex,
but more so for what sex gives me.
And I am not referring to the mind blowing orgasms that only happen here and there.
 
Okay so it’s truth time folks,
yes ME,
the sex expert and coach that helps thousands of people have better and more sex DOES NOT have mind blowing, earth shaking orgasm daily.
Actually most days, its pretty meh…
The sex is just normal,
and even boring at times.
But I still do sex almost daily,
and some days if the opportunity presents itself two or three times.
 
Just a week ago I spent about 7 hours out of 24 having sex.
Now that was yummy.
But why was it yummy?
Why did I want to have 7 hours of sex?
or have it daily, especially if I am not having mind blowing sex or even an orgasm most of the time?
 
The simple truth is that SEX ignites my creative juices.
Sex allows me a medative state, no matter the outcome to work on embodying myself,
sex allows me practice time to get out of my head and FEEL myself at a deep level.
I get to practice letting go,
I get to practice vulnerability,
I get to practice surrender,
I get to see where I am challenged and through the rhythm of my sex,
the consistent allowance of letting myself feel and stepping away from the idea of cumming,
but just BEING instead,
I get to connect to my CORE and thus feel my partner at a deeper level.
 
I have discovered through the years,
that our SEX is linked to so many things.
Self-confidence,
self-love,
boundaries,
ability to receive and give,
thinking patterns,
fear,
DESIRE,
passion,
VITALITY,
a feeling of freedom,
a feeling of peace,
centeredness,
physical well-being,
mental well-being,
and expanded spiritual depth.
 
To just name a few.
Yet we are taught to shame our sex,
to hide from it,
to ignore it,
to STARVE IT.
We are taught that our sex is evil.
And that it should only be used to make babies, or relieve stress QUICKLY.
 
And this way of thinking about our sex,
has us shut down,
fearful,
and not having sex.
It has us feeling disconnected from life, ourselves and the people we love.
It has us feeling insecure and angry,
depressed and lost.
And it has us trying to achieve what we have a void in through any means possible.
It has us acting out and traumatizing ourselves and others.
 
Instead of loving ourselves,
being responsible,
compassionate,
mature people,
we are like caged, starving, beaten wild animals.
This is what our world has become when we DO SEX.
And it’s all because we have such a limited, repressed view and understanding of this beautiful gift from God.
 
Sex and finances are the top two reasons marriages break up.
Sex actually out weights money,
because when the sex is crap,
when the sex is disconnected and toxic,
when sex is just about the get off,
then you have a partner being used and abused.
You have trauma setting in and the relationship is TOXIC.
No amount of money can heal that.
That is all about embodiment.
That is all about connection.
 
And you can ONLY CONNECT to your partner if you know how to connect to yourself first.
 
THAT IS WHY I DO SEX DAILY.
 
The consistent practice of leaning more into ME.
 
How does your sex feel to you?
Connected and deep?
Expansive and full?
or shallow, empty and about the release?
 
Want to learn how you have beautiful sexing all the time and access these states of peace, joy and connection.
Enjoy intimacy no matter what is going on in your life?
Reach out to me for information on my 1:1 coaching available globally today.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

MONEY IS EVIL- PERSONAL SUFFERING IS FAITH BEARING, + OTHER BULLSHIZ IDEA’S ABOUT YOUR WORTHINESS

MONEY IS EVIL – PERSONAL SUFFERING IS FAITH BEARING, + OTHER BULLSHIZ IDEA’S ABOUT YOUR WORTHINESS
 
Why do you not get that you are WORTHY?
 
And why is it that you keep buying into the bullshiz that in order to be worthy you must suffer?
 
Or that because you are suffering that this proves that you are in faith?
 
It is silly gorgeous to think this way.
 
I am just going to break this down for you from a parental perspective,
and maybe you will not agree and I am totally cool with you not agreeing with my views and beliefs, hopefully in that case we can just be mature enough to agree to disagree.
 
With that said,
as a parent I am going make my plea on your worthiness.
 
Imagine your child is growing up and learning about what is good, bad, how to do things, what responsibility, truth is, what love is and is not.
 
Imagine your child makes mistakes. Gets into fights with peers, has opinions that you and others disagree with, experiments with things that you may not want them too, does not always tell you the truth, even bullies other kids or is harsh in judgments about other kids or people. Mocks people.
 
Does this make you love your child any less?
Does this make them NOT worthy of your love or support?
Does this make them less of human to you and worthy of you taking away your love, condemning and shaming them?
 
Imagine your child looses friendships, has heartbreak over their first love, suffers pain in relationships, fears not getting it right, fears not fitting in, fears telling you how they feel. Imagine they hate their bodies, feel misunderstood, outcast.
Imagine they don’t feel safe in some fashion at home or school, in their relationships. They believe that the world is out to get them and they must close themselves off from it to stay safe and make you happy.
 
Does this make your child more worthy of your love?
Does this show their faith in your love and support?
Does this prove their worth, their self-love, their personal power, confidence, self-esteem? Does it build those things?
 
Imagine you have a child that comes to you and says this is my dreams and desires. This is what I feel inside. This is what I want to do with my life and why. Imagine that they say I know that I have made mistakes, that i am not perfect but I know that I am lovable, that you ( mom/dad) have my back, I know that I have better in me and I want to show my heart to this world. I want to experience life and give back. I believe that people are good and we are all worthy of love and greatness. Imagine that this child is working two part time jobs and helping out people in need, that they have big opinions and they speak about what they are good with and what they are not good with. Imagine that they count their blessings. Imagine that this child looks you in the eye and says, ” I know that you don’t want me to suffer. You want the best for me and if I don’t want the best for myself and show my love for myself by standing up and being my best that I not only hurt myself but I hurt your heart too mom/dad.”
Imagine that this child goes out and becomes a a millionaire when grown.
 
Does this make you love your child less?
Does this mean that your child is a greedy, selfish a*shole who does not care about anything but money and self?
Does this mean that your child has been brainwashed into the evil ways of this world and they are a disappointment to you?
Does this mean that you will retract your love from this child because they are not bowing their head and feeling bad or suffering enough?
Does this mean that their happiness and success is a sign that they have sold their soul to the devil and are dishonoring their faith, their family, themselves?
 
OF COURSE NOT!
 
That’s crap, right?
 
So why are you letting yourself think this about your life?
Why are you buying into the concept that your suffering and loss,
your lack of cash flow,
your depression, body image issues, your guilt, your fear, your lost-ness is some sign of your greatness in God’s eye’s.
 
Why are you believing that it is pleasing to God to watch you suffer and that those who are living abundant lives are displeasing to God?
 
I am sorry…
(not really)
 
You are dishonoring God and yourself beautiful,
by NOT stepping the f-ck up to who you are and your worthiness.
 
You are dishonoring God’s great work in you by settling for so little and such unhappiness.
 
You are dishonoring God and his belief in you by continuing to remain available for the crap that you set yourself up for in the name of faith in suffering.
 
You are not being your best and therefore not only causing suffering to your heart but as well to God.
 
I believe that we are microcosm’s of the divine.
The things that we feel when we are coming from a pure heart and soul with our children and the things that we want for our children are the same that God wants for us.
 
A healthy, emotionally mature adult parent who is confident and strong in who they are DOES NOT want to see their baby suffer.
Does not believe that their child suffering is better then their child thriving.
Does not think that if their kid gets a good paying job or is strong in who they are that they are less worthy of love or are doing evil things.
 
Yet, for some reason in today’s world many adults are putting this same judgement out there on their peers who want to THRIVE in all areas.
 
These adults pretend to be holier then thou and are quick to point to their sufferings of years to proclaim that this is evidence of their worthiness and faith, all the while pointing fingers of blame, shame and hatred with remarks of judgement out to anyone who shares a message of abundance, self-love, personal empowerment and joy.
 
Silliness.
 
And perhaps, you do not agree with me.
Perhaps you are one of those souls that I am speaking of here today.
Perhaps you believe that the path of suffering is what God wants for you/us.
Perhaps you believe that it is a sad thing to witness people making money from what they love to do and feel called to do.
Perhaps you think that people laughing, traveling, talking about love, connected sex, relationships, money is evil.
 
Maybe you believe that using the “F” word will send God into rage and cancel out all your blessings and shows one’s lack of faith and love in the creator.
 
Perhaps…
 
And perhaps, the opposite is true instead.
 
Perhaps you are among those of us who believe that we are worthy of greatness and abundance,
that God wants us to THRIVE here in this mortal existence and to speak to those ears that listen. No matter the words.
 
The message of YOUR WORTHINESS and POWER and that you are LOVED is what matters.
 
Your beautiful SOUL being let fly is what is of value.
Your HEART seen and felt.
 
Yes.
Perhaps beautiful you BELIEVE IN YOURSELF and in God.
 
And have chosen to turn your back on the nay sayers and fear bots that try and stain your faith with doubt.
 
Perhaps.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
https://www.tantrictransformation.com/micro-consult/
– Accepting applications for 1:1 private clients for a limited time.
 
 

Your SOUL Craves Gourmet Sex and So Does Your Abundance.

The more gourmet sex I have the less I make my bed.
 
It is so vitally important to have gourmet sexual experiences,
not just a bunch of sex.
 
That low vibe,
high friction,
empty,
fast food sex is simply not even worth the time it takes to get undressed.
 
And it most certainly does not feed your soul.
 
It does not drop you into your core, your primal sexual creative energy where many great visionaries, leaders, game changers of all time have spoken of accessing for life success.
 
It is not the sexual encounters documented in Song of Solomon in the bible either.
 
That sort of encounter,
that sort of divine,
touching the big toe of God experience happens only when you tap into your SOUL.
 
Which is a SOUL of SEX.
 
As Thomas Moore states in his book on this very topic,
“In sex an inner life of strong emotions and vivid fantasies meet with a real person to create a moment of exceptional intensity when life is full and reason is dim…
 
But it is the soul, and not some inanimate body, that feels the hunger and can’t resist the appetite.”
 
This appetite that is spoken of here and in Solomon is the hunger for life. The desire that even Jesus spoke of to be fully entwined with the creator.
 
With God.
 
Sex is soul food.
It is a vital nutrient to our human condition,
allowing us to gain access to higher realms of understanding and feeling,
where we become limitless in our manifestation possibilities.
 
However, in order to tap into this storehouse of magic and possibilities one must STOP settling for fast food sex and in turn DEMAND gourmet sexing.
 
Gourmet sexing,
takes one away from the linear mindset,
out of the monkey brain, where we desire for control instead of freedom.
 
Gourmet sexing is about tapping into our already full state of being and opening into our true spiritual power.
 
This is where we command in our blessings.
When we allow our soul the expression of gourmet sex,
in its craving of these blissful excursions,
we experience a separate reality,
where we tap into the mystery of being human.
 
Here in this enticing altered state of being and awareness, the SOUL discovers many truths about life, love, our partners, selves and God. This expanded understanding of sex ignites our manifestation capabilities and provides us the complexity and satisfying fulfillment of what being HUMAN can offer.
 
The details of what one once found important,
the fears,
concerns and doubts around our lives experiences,
the responsibilities that we take on to hide our truth and power,
all are washed away through gourmet sexing.
 
And are replaced with compassion,
a deep desire of authenticity,
passion, joy and connection.
 
In this altered state of a sexing we discover WHO WE ARE.
 
I can share from a very intimate note that when we tap into this way of sexing and living we impact all of life. The ripple effect from each who chooses the enlightened path of sex and the soul expression that is was designed to be end up being a healing agent in this ill world.
 
Now I call on you beautiful to inquire about how you choose to view your sex.
 
I ask you do you identify with the desire that your SOUL has to be expressed?
 
Do you cherish and respect the power of your orgasm?
And the greatness that it can offer you in your manifestation for a life of richness, abundance and freedom?
 
Or is your sex more equivalent of washing your hands or making your bed, where it has little meaning or depth and you cannot fathom such richness and power coming from what you perceive as friction based activity that serves for the reproduction or stress release?
 
Curious about the Soul of Your Sex?
 
Let me share with you almost 30 years of education, training and enlightened study on this topic and how it can NOT ONLY change your bedroom life but also your ABUNDANCE.
 
Message me about elite coaching now.
 
As Always, Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Pick Me While I Am Ripe!

Pick me while I am ripe!
Suck all the juices from my flesh.
Let not a drop of me go to waist.

I want to fill you full of all I have,
all I can give and all you desire.
Sweet nectar pours from me,
each moment that I allow.

Sticky, sweet and refreshing.
This is how I want you to remember me.
Organic, raw and pure.
Yet satisfying and delicate.
A taste that make you crave more.
A taste of something rare.

Yes this is how I want you to enjoy me.
Pick me while I am ripe.
And let not a drop fall from this life,
without fully being consumed, devoured and enjoyed.
My life is worth nothing,
if not for the tasting.

Let your lips and mouth remember,
my flesh beneath them once more.
No moment can ever last forever,
no taste can be the same twice.
But this I promise you my love,
this taste will delight.

As long as you choose wisely,
let my juices flow from me,
without containment,
or control.
Enjoy the sweetness they offer,
enjoy this moment.

Our lives are nothing,
they are worth not even a breath,
if we do not bask in the freshness,
the flavors that wash through.
Delightful,
sweet and juicy.
Is the only way to live.

Yet so many may dislike our fruit we bare.
Call it evil,
dirty and sinful.
How can anyone enjoy such rapture?
How can anyone delight in this flavor?
It reeks,
it is so putrid.
How can one swallow this?
It has contaminated our SOUL.

But this contamination,
this discomfort that you feel,
it comes not from the fruit or the juices,
in was here on your lips my dear.
This flavor that makes you ill,
was only brought to your taste,
by the sweetness that this life can offer,
but your fear will steal away.

Pick me when I am ripe,
let not any juice escape.
This life was for the rapture.
The pure delight of such.
When one who stands in their juiciness,
comes forth and speaks the truth,
the SOUL is contaminated.
Not of evil or sin,
but of its very TRUTH,
the truth that it is RIPE and waiting,
waiting to be enjoyed.
Consumed as a lover would wish,
enjoyed as the sweetness the angels bare true.

But you may fear this juice,
this truth and your SOUL.
Hide from it yet one more moment,
until it feel rotten,
lost and unworthy.
But never understand,
that this cannot be.
Your SOUL,
your essence,
it is still connected to the vine,
the vine that has been blessed.
And all you need to ever do,
is taste it here,
taste its juice,
its love,
in delight.

And yes my dear,
it is uncomfortable to know your truth this day,
to stand here in the garden,
and look the other way.

But know that you are juicy.
You are sweet and ripe.
Your fruit is for the taking,
and life will bare it.
Your choices,
your thoughts and feelings,
are what keeps your vine alive,
but so many are uprooted,
so many are frightened and hungry.
Thirsty for a purpose.
Lost in this garden.

Wake up beautiful,
wake up and feel your ripeness.
Let yourself leak your juices into your lovers mouth,
let your flesh be seen,
and tasted.
Your lover,
this life,
awaits you.

So water the roots,
water the vines,
water the fruit.
Open yourself to faith.
And let yourself be consumed.

And remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Want to taste of all the juiciness that life has to still offer you?
Want to explore your talents, your passion and purpose?
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Ageing Backward, Is That A Thing?

Some day’s I feel beautiful.
Someday’s I feel youthful.
Someday’s I feel vibrant.
And those someday’s are most day’s,
these day’s.
 
They say age is just a number.
They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
They say that wrinkles show character and wisdom.
They say a lot, don’t they…
whoever they are.
 
But what about aging backward?
Is it possible?
 
I believe it is.
 
I believe it because most day’s I live it.
Most day’s I glow,
I feel all the above.
Granted you could say it is because I am obsessive about skin care,
and this I am.
However, there is so much more to it.
 
Glowing youthfulness comes from being turned on to life.
Vibrancy comes from letting the universe f-ck you wide open.
Beauty comes from loving yourself.
 
Good orgasm,
plays a massive role too.
And I mean orgasm,
not just sex.
There are plenty of times in life where sex can drain your ass instead of give you an afterglow,
and the afterglow only comes from being filled up with all those yummie chemicals that ONLY orgasm can provide most effectively.
 
But on top of that,
youthful skin, appearance and radiance comes from being a tad bit selfish and making space for self-care practices.
It also comes from not polluting your mind with draining negative stinking thinking.
 
You can do all the right things with diet.
You can do all the right things with skin care.
If you’re mindset is wrong,
if you are not overflowing with orgasmic energy,
if you are not taking daily TLC time for you,
and most importantly,
if you are not living in your JOY.
 
Then guess what beautiful?
You will age.
and age quickly.
No matter what the years are for you,
your glow tells the truth of your state of being.
Of your VIBE.
 
Are you blah?
Are you pale?
Are you dried out?
Are you squinting and making angry faces,
when you are “not thinking about anything?”
 
What does your energy toward life say about your vibrance?
 
Are you ready to JUMP UP,
get a start on life and the day?
 
or are you a grumpy little dwarf?
 
Okay Beautiful,
you don’t have to wither away.
No one wishes this for you,
least of all God or your soul.
 
But when you look in the mirror,
when you truly stop and look,
look into your eye’s and feel your heart.
What does your soul have to say?
Is she happy?
 
Want to really get a clear answer?
cup your pussy with one hand,
and place your hand on your heart with the other.
Now look yourself in the eye.
Feel.
 
F-E-E-L into your body.
Feel past your body.
Tap into SOUL Baby.
 
What does she say?
Is she happy?
Is she turned on?
Is she ignited?
In love?
orgasmic?
 
Want to age backward without botox or surgery?
The answer is SOUL.
 
Soul Alignment.
 
That’s right sistar!
Your soul want’s you to take the plunge into her,
your soul desires to embody you,
she wants you to look in the mirror and truly feel your authentic self.
She wants you to stop caring what everyone else thinks,
or what you perceive they are thinking.
She wants you to claim your mother f-cking life as the badass bitch that you are and stop being the people pleasing pussy that you pretend to be.
 
You are worthing BABY!
It is high effing time that you just accept who you are,
who you were born to be,
and take that step into your greatness.
 
Afterall, you’re not getting any younger.
Or are you?
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
——————————————————————————
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In life,
in love,
in sex,
in business.
 
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The Goddesses Dragon – My Tale of Surrender to the Masculine

He wants my surrender.
I can feel it at my greatest depths.

He wants me fully.
Open and inviting to his everything.
He wants my surrender,
and he is willing to work for it.
He is willing to take the journey into the depths of my being,
where he will uncover my hidden treasures,
which I fear may seem like dragons,
yet he assures me in his holding,
that he does not want to slay my dragons,
he only want to bask in their beauty,
he wants to sit with them in moments of stillness,
and he wants to just take them in.

He wants to see their beauty,
that beauty that only a deep understanding of love can handle,
that beauty that is so revealing of the soul.
Most are not strong enough within themselves to face this beauty,
this light,
this power,
the dragon.

Most fear being devoured by it.
What they begin in the courting process admiring from a afar,
they end with wanting to own and control.
Because it scares them.
It is wild,
it is fierce,
it is powerful beyond measure,
and desires to conquer the hearts of its admirers.

Few are able to hold themselves,
within the presence of this beast.

But, every now and then,
a gentleman comes about,
makes himself known,
and smiles in the presence of the magic he has found in caverns of the goddess.

And this gentleman,
this gentleman,
ignites the goddesses soul.
Sets it on fire.

And she desires to dance for him.
She desires to open herself for him,
and let him in.

Yet she is scared beyond measure,
her past tells of beautiful love saga’s,
intense love and loss.
She is fearful to become vulnerable with this man.
Because of the pain,
the pain that her heart will endure.
Yet she desires it all.
The love and depth,
are worth the pain.
Are worth the standing before her own dragon,
and smiling within its flames.

She know’s that this man,
is rare, and unique.
That he is one who can hold her fire.
At least for a time.
And she wants to surrender.
She craves the intimacy.
She craves the revealing.
She craves the integrity.
And the opening.

Physically.
Mentally.
Emotionally.

She leans in.
And she drops into his arms,
resting in his strength.
Resting in his admiration.
She let’s her emotions be seen.
She laughs,
she cries,
and she opens a bit more.

This cavern is deep.
And she realizes,
that her dragon is not to be feared.

She now understands what this gentleman has known,
the fire of her dragon will not harm when lifted in love,
it will only light the way to more caverns for them to explore.

Explore together.
The depths of their souls.

And so she looks at the gentleman,
with tears streaming from her eye’s,
and she say’s yes to the opening.

They lay together, enwrapped in the moment,
and they smile.

Blessed be to all of you who read this and venture into the depths of the goddesses caverns with hearts on fire,
and souls ignited.

Be wise in your journey and know that the dragon is there to protect the goddess from those that are unworthy,
and there to guild those who are,
into her surrender.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

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It is NOT compromise. It is rape!

Are you effing kidding me?
Really?
How can you do that to your body?
To your psyche?
To your everything?

I don’t effing get it.
Yet…

I DO.

I get it because I use to do it too.
I did it so much that I grew comfortable with it.
It just became part of my norm.
And I did not see the bitterness and resentment that it engraved into my life,
into my relationship,
until it was too late.

I thought it was just how it was.
And that it was “okay.”

After all life is about compromise, right?
We cannot always have things our way,
and sometimes,
actually often,
we have to find a space that neither side gets what it wants and both give in to something that is doable to make the results the best they can be.

So, this is what I thought I was doing.
And I was.
And you are too!

But you want in on a little secret?
Not a secret, actually,
just a reality that you may not want t o hear because you may feel disgusting after you fully digest it.

In these times like I share here,
which happens to be all too many times in our lives.
In all areas of our life as I have discovered.

You are raping yourself.

Yes.
I just said that.

And I will say it again.
So happy f-cking Monday morn my peep’s!!!!

You are raping yourself.
You most likely are doing it right now.
Or you soon will be.
Or you will in a few hours or by the end of today.

Your raping yourself.
You are are bending over,
spreading yourself open,
saying “sure, that’s okay….yeah…yeah…let’s do this or that.”

You are believing that you have to do that in order to exist
You have to do it in order to keep peace,
in order to enjoy some rewards that you don’t believe you will have unless you give of yourself in this fashion.

You believe that if you were to say no.
To say I am not in the mood.
I am not turned on to this or that.
It does not feel good to me.
That actually hurts me.
I don’t like that at all.
I never get anything from this.

or…

some other statement of your lack of interest in it,
that you would loose something.

You are afraid that you would have life shut you down in some way.

You are afraid that if you stated your truth,
that you would not be received well,
and then that would hurt you more than just saying yes,
when you are a no.

So you say, ” Okay.. let’s do it!
And you figure, ” It’s just compromise. It’s just the way life is. You cannot have everything you want all the time. So what’s the harm is giving of yourself this time or the next when even though you really hate it, or are shut down to it?”

Whats the BIG effing deal?

Rape seems like a harsh term to use Kendal.
I am not raping myself!
I am just compromising.
I am just letting someone else use my body, my time, my energy, my money, my life for their pleasure. For their abundance building. for their goals and aspirations.

That is the way life works.
Have you not heard?

Sure I don’t feel great afterward.
My body feels yuck.
I feel a low grade depression.
I feel weaker,
less excited about things.
I have a tough time looking in the mirror.
Or making eye contact.
I crave all the wrong foods or I feel like not eating at all.
I am testy.
Moody.
Angry.
Anxiety ridden.
Fatigued.
Can’t sleep well.
Weaken immune system.

Yeah so what.
That is just part of life.
It’s not rape.

Well, I am sorry to shed the light on this for you,
but as a woman who has experienced rape in the sexual nature a couple of times in my life,

and as a woman who has had all too much duty sex AKA self rape ( in my opinion),

and as a woman who has allowed herself to be raped emotionally, psychologically, financially, time wise and many other ways through out life here and there.

I will tell you with utter certainty.

YOU ARE RAPING YOURSELF!!!!!

And to make matters worse.
You think its normal.
Its okay.
That you have too.

OMFG!!!!!
Have a little love for yourself already.
You got no love?
How about empathy?
Compassion?

Where the f-ck is your give a shit for you?
Yet you claim you want a life worth living.
You claim you want to make changes.
You claim you want joy,
happiness, love.
ABUNDANCE.

But you think by spreading your legs and allowing someone else to have their way, to pump pump eww goo in you and get theirs that you are going to somehow succeed at having the life that you want? ( scratching my head here.)

Are you effing kidding me?
You are crazy!

That is all I have to say.
Although,
I get it.

I REALLY do.
Because I have been you.
In all areas of my life.

But you know what the reality is?
At some point,
You have to close up your rape shop.
You have to start to honor yourself enough,
to say NO.

You have to get into integrity with the most important person in your life.

YOU.
And you have to not just give it lip service, no you have to actually commit to it.

You want freedom based living?
You want a F-ck Yes Life?
You want to be in love with yourself and your life?
You want to be proud of yourself?
You want to actually succeed at having what you claim you want?

Well here is the gig.
You must stop raping yourself.

In all areas of your life.
It is time.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

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My Orgasm Is Not Just Between My Legs.

My orgasm is not just between my legs!
 
My orgasm is so much more than I can share in words.
My orgasm is what I thrive on.
My orgasm is what radiates me,
it gives me the drive to keep going on when it seem’s as though I should not be able too.
My orgasm is what wakes me at 5:55am.
My orgasm is what keeps me up until 1:30am or later many nights.
My orgasm is why I smile.
It is why I make eye contact.
It is why I walk with ease and breathe deep.
My orgasm is what make my world go around.
 
And when I let go of my orgasm….
well my world effing shatters.
 
My soul screams at me.
 

“Girl!!!!!! WTF are you doing allowing your life to be non-orgasmic? GET YOUR ASS back on the orgasm band wagon and let it rip!”

 
Yes.
This is what my soul screams.
If I choose to ignore,
then I can only expect suffering.
I know for sure that my life will dwindle,
my mood will crash,
my drive for life, for sex, for anything that is beneficial will soften and will become numb.
 
I will no longer walk with certainty and ease.
I will no longer make eye contact in peace and love.
I will no longer feel myself interwoven with all that is and can be.
I will no longer feel the tingle, the throb of the desire.
And I will most certainly not have a genital orgasm.
Or an orgasm of the heart.
 
No I will walk in the land of the uncertain.
And I will fear.
 
SO why the f-ck would I ever let go of my orgasm?
 
I have lost it before.
And I occasionally loose it here and there.
It feel’s horrible to have this happen.
 
But when I do.
I come into the realization that in order for me to fully understand, appreciate and know my life of orgasm,
I must experience for a time frame here and there the polarities that life offers us.
 
Through these polarities,
through challenges and loss,
through feeling a low vibe,
is how we gain desire and appreciation for something more.
 
It is how we learn what brings us into orgasm.
 
Then when we find ourselves spread open in the gasps of the divine,
when we bask in the joy of our surrender,
we can then fully reap the orgasm.
 
And this we shall.
As long as we remain here,
in this allowing state,
we can maintain the orgasm for an eternity.
 
As long as we do not question the how?
As long as we do not examine and define the challenges,
but instead just move through them in grace and ease with no resistance,
then we will not be harmed by them,
but instead remain in joy and orgasm with our lives.
 
Remaining aligned to our soul.
And interwoven with all of the universe.
 
Here we can have all our desires.
Here we can enjoy the banquet table,
and breathe deeply.
 
Because there is no question of our worth.
There is no question of who we are,
or who we “should” be.
 
No all that is there is love.
And through this state of conscious allowing,
and leaning into the things that feel good to our souls,
we are led.
 
It is these things that capture us.
And it is these things that make us thrive.
 
So where is your orgasm?
Mine is not between my legs alone.
Mine is every breath.
Every heart beat.
It is brought in through my thoughts and my feelings,
and the awareness of them keep me in the vibe of my life orgasm.

 

What does your vibe say about your Orgasm?

 

As always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

 
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” Five steps to a Freedom Based Life”
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Why Are You Settling For Less?

Sitting here in my favorite salon in Dallas.
The only place I go to get my hair done, matter fact.
I love Marcos and Jo so much if I ever move someplace outside of the big D, I will be flying back every couple months to get my hair done.

Seriously love Delilahs.
But this is not a testimony share for my amazing beautician.
It is however a writing of awareness.
Awareness to the reality that in life there are those things that we simply cannot settle for anything less with.
Its about the connection.
Its about the service.
Its about the care.
Its about the quality.

And once we find our home in something,
We don’t want to change it up for any reason.
Much like myself when it comes to my hair.

I feel this way about many things.
Like my office building.
My health care providers.

Why would I settle for anything less than the greatness that these souls offer in their work and service?

Why would I ever desire to go with something less than GREATNESS?

Sure I could get the services for less.
Probably a lot less.
If we get real.

But at what cost would those dollars saved actually cost me?

This is the truth that we tend to over look.

I am reminded about the true cost of our decisions and choices often.
From my hair appointment in this moment,
To my children’s schooling and long term educational rewards or disabilities that can come from my parental choices,
To my choice to remain
Or separate in a relationship.

If we are willing to do whatever it takes to get the best hair care, dental work, or schooling for our children.
If we are willing to attain the best real estate agent, attorney or even find ourselves going to the same pub over and over again because the bar tender is phenomenal and great to talk too,
Then why the f-ck do we settle in love.
Settle in our work.
Settle with our health.
Settle with our financial situations.

Why do we in these important areas of life allow for less than ideal?

I believe that because these areas are so important to our overall well being and life happiness,
That we find ourselves not feeling worthy of the greatness that we desire.
So we remain quiet.
We accept whatever we get.
We maintain and allow the cards to fall wherever they will.
We make statements like:
” Our relationship is great everywhere else, its just this one area. We can make due.”

” I have responsibilities. I can’t just do what I want. Who would pay my bills?”

” I don’t have the time. The money. The resources to go do….. or have ….”

” He/she loves me though. Loves the kids. Are a good person. ”

These statements of justification as to why…
Why we are choosing to settle.

Why we are allowing less than greatness into our lives.
All the while,
not embracing our truth.

The truth that we are terrified of something more.
Terrified of who we might be if we allowed better into our lives.
If we not just allowed
But commanded it into our lives.

After all if we started asking for this level of F-ck Yes! In all areas of our lives
Including the important ones,
We would have to acknowledge our weaknesses,
Our shadows,
And all the places we clutter up with fear and ego.
We would,
If we started to demand greatness in,
Have to transform ourselves into the person
Who can handle it.
Who can open up to it
And say,
F-ck YES!! I deserve this blessing.
I deserve this fairy tale life.

I am more than average and ordinary.
I am a child of God,
And God wants for his greatness to manifest
In all things.

It is my choice to open up to this greatness
Or to close myself to it.

It is up to me
To CLAIM My Life.
And STOP SETTLING,
For anything less than what God would want for me.

When we settle,
When we walk in fear,
When we doubt our worth,
We deny the greatness of God.
We deny Gods ability to move mountains,
And instead we proclaim him weak.

Your worthiness is never in question.
It is only your acceptance of your worthiness that needs worked on.

Stop settling for anything less than,
Stop living a life of existence.

This is your time,
Your moment to say,
F-ck YES!!!
I am a child of God.
And I am worthy of blessing.
Of his favor.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

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