What magnificent men we can be! — by Jonti Searll

What magnificent men we can be!

An important aspect of the journey for almost every woman who comes to share a healing journey with us, is reclaiming her Yoni. Establishing a relationship and taking back a part of herself, that was mostly separate from the rest of her being.

This is very different from men’s relationship with their Lingam (Penis), so I always thought. Last week, I had a revelation about this. Men don’t have an emotional relationship with their Lingam. The connection is functional, at best it includes a level of pleasure which is mostly external, and is filled with “Macho Mythology”. This relationship is also and often run through with anxiety and fear.

It’s true that through sheer body geography men have a more direct and easier relationship with their genitals. We touch it more in the course of a day, in ways that have nothing to do with sex. It’s external, more visible than a Yoni. We see it, we’re aware of it.

Intellectually aware, recognition aware.
Not emotionally aware.

For most men, sex is a genital experience. It’s body limited, all the sensation is in the Lingam and the pelvis. Occasionally there’s a heart connection, but that’s external. That’s the connection with a partner.

But it’s not with my own heart. There’s no tenderness, there’s no gentleness, there’s no sensuality in terms of My Self, and My Lingam. Me as a sexual and sensual being in my own right.

The ownership is goal oriented, erection and orgasm. Which is functional.
We’ve made it emotional by saying that when we’ve done that, when we’ve achieved that, that’s the sexual expression of being a man fulfilled.

The fear and anxiety of size, performance and pressure to please a partner is all directed outwards. We haven’t taken emotional ownership of ourselves as sexual beings.

The impact of this, is limitation, severe limitation of our feelings, our sensations, and our experiences. Full body orgasms, multiple orgasms, expanded orgasmic states, Lingam Heart opening, Slow Union, melting orgasms, sexual meditation, all of these are inaccessible. They’re for women, and a few weird Tantric dudes.

We can have so much more, much deeper, more satisfying and more fulfilling experiences. For Ourselves. We can know much more of ourselves, express and experience more of ourselves. Which allows us to share more with our partners.
Which allows what’s between us, what we touch, feel and share, to expand.
For there to be more between us, because there’s more within us.

What magnificent men we can be!

Learn more about Jonti Searll and the workshops/sessions he guides at Tantra Evolution

Ecstatic Alchemy

Discover Your Inner Magic

Our lives are based on physical laws. When we let go of an apple in mid air it will fall to the earth. This is gravity. Years pass and our flesh reveals the time it has spent here on this beautiful planet. Our blood flows through veins and if we consume too much of the wrong foods then it cannot flow properly and will cause us numerous health issues.  These are all basic, common and sound physical events that happen to our human bodies.

From a higher level, from our soul level, ALL is possible though. From here we can manifest good health, harmonic relationships, success in all areas that we long for. And it is from this higher self that we can become an Alchemist. Through our breaking free of the boundaries of our brothers and sisters, un-locking the chains of our life programming and through not belief, but certainty in our Divinity (that we are children of God, created in the image and with the same longing to share and create) we can then walk the spiritual path of the wizard.

Throughout time witches have been believed in. During the Middle Ages any woman who had her own thoughts and practiced a life of living off the earth, using herbal remedies and understood certain physical laws and ancient rituals was most likely condemned for being a witch. Yet the ancient civilizations where all our base religions come from all had “medicine men/women” “Priestesses” and “Wise women/men” to name just a few. AKA Witches.

Now I am not suggesting that we all submerge ourselves into the Craft here and take up Wicca, however there are many wonderful sacred rituals and healing remedies found on this path. What I am suggesting we all do is become our own alchemist. Learn to create the life we want.  As James Arthur Ray says it,All goals are spiritual goals, including abundant material wealth and mind-blowing sex.”

Tantra is a most perfect place to start with these spiritual goals! Our sexual energy can be cultivated to not only help but TRANSFORM our lives. When we have learned how to honor, and unconditionally love another, when we have worked through levels of blockages and have allowed our lover to see us, beautiful, open and vulnerable just the way God see’s us then we can step forth and channel our intense sexual feelings into manifesting a lifestyle and life goals that we mutually want and envision. In order to achieve this however we must first open ourselves to healing. In healing there are no promises, there is no room for expectations or controls. When we decide that we are tired of living a life dictated by everyone else and our ego (which normally rules us through fear and doubt) then we can open the window to some fresh air and discover our selves. Under the veils of pain, discomfort, fear, doubt, regret and loneliness lye a life worth living. Not surviving, but Ecstatically Living! Yes, you have to believe that YOU deserve it. You have to FORGIVE yourself. You have done nothing wrong. You have only been the puppet with your ego being the puppeteer. You are human. We all have these shackles and they are only shackles if we see them as such. As John Milton said, “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” Here is where so many of us reside. We can have so many blissful things in our life and yet we focus on the hell that is before our face. We allow our Satan, our ego to rise up and cut our beautiful legs out from underneath us. Focused on one particular human failure that most likely will be a blessing shortly down the road, we sabotage our dreams. We then become the dark alchemist of our lives. Black magic swirls around us under the label of “bad luck.” Our friends and associates, even family may have sympathy or empathy for what we are going though, they may even lend a helping hand, but it is rare that someone will walk into our lives as we walk this path of the dark night of the soul (which can rise up at any point in our lives and can last what seems like a life time) and say, “You Manifested this Shit! Now it’s time to Transform it.” Yes, I said that. You manifested the shit in your life. The first step to healing is realizing that we manifest ALL the things in our lives. The good, the bad and the ugly. We are the creators of our destinies. If you want to be sitting on a beach in Cancun with the lover of your dreams and money in the bank, good relationships abound and ecstatic adventures galore hen YOU’RE THE ONLY one stopping it from happening.

Now don’t beat yourself up. Remember be gentle with yourself, your only human. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Learn your heart and listen to your soul. That quiet voice, which is your guide.

Abundance Awaits YouOnce you allow yourself healing and acceptance you can then embark on a most divine adventure of a life time. The road of the magician.  This path has many starting points and much scientific, religious support. Many of the greats in our past practiced one form of “magic” or another. From Jesus and Buddha to Einstein and Edison, these men all understood that they had to tap into the 99% reality. The part of our reality that we do not physically see but affects our lives far more than the 1% that we are aware of. This 99% is the matrix. It is the soul level. It is “heaven” where God creates and where we too can play. Dreams, phenomenon’s, spirits and quantum physics all start in the 99%.

In tantra we can learn what is called Sexual Magic. This is where we bring our ecstasy to a powerful point with another and through our lovemaking create magic.  During orgasm, we sometimes see stars, lights, a feeling of being sent into orbit. We touch a place within ourselves that has no boundaries or limitations. We have a feeling of infinite possibilities, a sense of wholeness and joy. Creative power and Divinity. The only issue is that the orgasm does not last very long. And often we start our lovemaking with a sense of non-openness. We are not whole hearted when we engage in the magical act. But once we heal then we can come into this place with a higher energetic level of being and with our partner create a life worth living ecstatically.  This pure, raw sexual energy is alive and creative. It wants to be harvested. It wants to be played with. It is not serious and controlled. It is free!

As we learn to tap into this energy and practice Tantric techniques to help allow longer, full body orgasm along with gaining understanding of the power of our thoughts and that we are all beings of energy then, then we have put on our witches hats and picked up our Merlin wands.

Be the Alchemist of Beauty and Light in your life!

~ Step out of the social currents that normally swirl around
you, causing chaos and disorientation.

~Decide RIGHT NOW to live your life CONSCIOUSLY, Deliberately,
and with a clear intent to manifest what you need and desire.

~Have the courage and determination to know that you are
responsible for your life. Take back the power that you have given to your ego
and others out of the desire to conform, please, or do the “civilized” or “proper”
thing.

~Reserve YOUR Divine spiritual right to use your sexual
energy to transform your life and live as a fully Orgasmic human being.

Tantric Therapy for Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation (PME) is very common in males of all ages. Premature ejaculation is also common in the animal kingdom. In the animal kingdom sometimes fast is good; in order to deliver the sacred seeds of procreation as fast as possible or before someone else does. On the other hand, even in the animal kingdom, a prolonged sexual process creates physiological conditions that evoke specific levels of arousal and lubrication, and optimal positioning and penetration which increase the reception of the sacred seeds of procreation.

According to the “The Pleasure Coach”, “As boys masturbating or with a partner, they often trained themselves to be pre-mature ejeculators as they often do this quickly so as not to get caught. As adults, many men do not realize that extending the pleasure by slowing down can add a whole other dimension to their self-pleasuring.”

The act of sexual union not only provides procreation, but creates intimacy and connectedness.

Traditional professionals debate on the causes and treatment of premature ejaculation in men. Some believe that premature ejaculation is due to inheritance because individuals that experience premature ejaculations often have first-degree relatives that have had similar experiences; whether this is genetic or cultural is debatable.

Other researchers have noted that men who experience premature ejaculation have a faster neurological response in the pelvic muscles. Also, physiological complications such as urethritis, prostatitis, hyperthyroidism, obesity, and erectile dysfunction have been identified as attributed causes of PME. Tension in intimate relationships is commonly documented as causes as well.

Traditional treatments often involve talk therapy, recommended exercises to do at home and sometimes medication. Unfortunately, most traditional therapies focusing on dulling the sensations; psychologically (thinking about something else), physically (use of condoms, creams and analgesics to dull the sensation) and chemically (medication that dulls all sensation mentally and physically).

The Tantric Therapy view is much more holistic, natural and actually engages individuals to expand their sensations and experience.

Tantric Therapy View

First, while there can be a physiological issue, premature ejaculation is totally and completely a natural occurrence. It is nothing to be ashamed off. However, premature ejaculation can limit a man’s intimate connection with himself and add challenging dynamics to relationships.

I have practiced traditional insurance reimbursable psychotherapy for 16-years. Tantric Therapy treats the psychological, physiological and adds a critical spiritualogical component creating a holistic approach. Where traditional therapies can be effective, the holistic approach of Tantric Therapy is 100 times more effective in treating premature ejaculation (PME). I often compare the idea of only doing talk therapy to treat PME to the idea of just talking to someone that really needs physical therapy after an injury or surgery. A physical therapist could tell a person how to best do physical therapy on themselves or even teach a friend or beloved to help them; but most agree it would not be as effective. Actual physical therapy is 100 times more effective in healing physical injuries than talking about; why shouldn’t the treatment of PME?

Tantric Therapy does not treat the symptoms or even the causes of PME. Tantric Therapy focuses on the core of an individual’s frame of reference and center of relativity in their sacred relationship with themselves and with others.

Tantric Therapy

Working with men; I recommend individual counseling, bodywork and couples counseling.

Psycho/Spiritual

Tantric Therapy begins first with gathering an extensive history regarding not only sexual functioning, but also a developmental (childhood to adulthood) history, including a family history and discussion relative to intimate relationships. In addition, a physiological history is also gathered to rule out medical conditions. Also, information is gathered about the person’s spiritual perspectives on relationships and sacred sexuality. This process is not done to identify problems but to get the individual to engage and open themselves up.

In Tantric Therapy, sessions commonly begin with discussing and exploring the concepts of Sacred Sexuality from a psycho/spiritual/sexual perspective. Genuinely acknowledging the Sacredness of relationships often has a profound impact on individual’s views of Sacred Sexuality, intimacy, spirituality and on sexual functioning – including PME.

The experience of Tantra is to open or uncoil the Kundalini within. Awakening the Kundalini within not only elevates our energy and the contact we have the Divine; but sexual energy is not manifested physiologically but spiritually. The sustained spiritual union with oneself and between partners can lead bliss.

In addition, treatment teaches/focuses mental centeredness, relaxation, and awareness.

Also, recommendations are made for diet and regular physical activities; such as yoga.

Bodywork

I often counsel/educate men on the physiology/anatomy of intimacy.

Often the review of male physiology/anatomy includes the functioning of their bodies. I almost always recommend men doing bodywork sessions female practitioners. Bodywork sessions are very intimate and profoundly effective. All body work sessions begin with a developing therapeutic intimacy – creating a safe intimate connection/relationship for sharing and healing.

Most bodywork sessions involve the practitioner bathing and massaging the man to induce relaxation and intimacy. Breathing exercises are incorporated as well; making breathing delicate and slowing the breath. When an agreed level of relaxation and intimacy is established a more intense focus can be explored with the man’s Lingam, perineum, and sacred spot.

During a bodywork session; a practitioner will familiarize a man with his anatomy in a new way or sometimes touch a man in a way that he has only touched or explored himself. During these sessions; it doesn’t matter if the man is erect or not and often men ejaculate early in the session.

The muscles surrounding the perineum, Lingam and anus of massages and relaxed. The exploration of Scrotum elasticity, responsiveness, effects of temperature and sensitivity are explored. In addition, the connectedness of the perineum is explored. The stimulation of the prostate is explored as well; first internally and internally. When erect, the flexibility and positioning of the Lingam is manipulated. Often during sessions, men will become erect and then become un-erect. Ejaculating several times is also common. During sessions, men are taught how to squeeze their muscles around their prostate. This is done with the practitioner feeling the squeeze around the prostate.

Another important aspect is to have a in-depth conversation regarding masturbation. Often men train themsevles to ejaculate quickly; therefore some men are conditioned for PME.

Practitioners work with men in the bathroom; and encourage them to begin to urinate and then stop and continue again helping them become more aware of the internal sensations. While men can be and are instructed to do this by themselves; having a practitioner accompany/instruct them in-person has been more effective. Some practitioners will have men drink a lot of water before and during sessions and then have them stand and urinate into a jar and train them to start and stop.

The most common technique is to massage a man’s Lingam and prostate simultaneously and have the man signal when he feels the sensation that he is coming close to ejaculating and then stop the stimulation and encourage the man to squeeze. This process will not only profoundly help with PME but guide the man to experience multiple orgasms and recirculate his energy.

Overall, the most effective approach is to associate arousal with the connection to the Divine and have ejaculations be a conscious choice rather than a reflex. This is accomplished with Tantric Rituals, teachings of the male multi-orgasmic response and a lot of positive love and support.

Namaste,

Duncan Knight

You may also review Duncan Knights work at www.tantricproviders.com

Dallas, Texas

I have been Tantric Therapist for 15+ years, specializing in helping individuals and couples improve their relationships and make them Sacred. My Tantric Therapy practice is a combination of psychotherapy, massage therapy and spiritual guidance. I consider women Sacred and Divine and guide them to realize their Divinity; and teach couples to worship each other’s Divinity.

An Exchange of Gourmet Fluids by Alexis Le Chin

The immemorial interplay between wine and love – Oenos and Venus – tends to produce varying erotic emissions according to specific varietals. We can only speak of tendencies because there are no more certainties in the bedroom than there are in the bottle. Different palates perceive different flavors and complexities, just as they do in the wines themselves. Continue reading “An Exchange of Gourmet Fluids by Alexis Le Chin”

Make "Tantra" part of YOUR lovemaking TONIGHT!

Tantric lovemaking incorporates breathing exercises, muscle contractions, music and sound, visualization, affirmations, creation of a sacred loving and safe space and other ceremonial rituals. Points of focus are meditation, stimulating sensual massage, and sexual play. In order to build a high sexual energy  that moves the lovers into ecstatic states of divine connection Tantra encourages extended lovemaking over several hours, experiencing ever expanding levels and waves of pleasure along the way.

Tantra is powerful because you can receive immediate results with limited practice, but the depth and blissful states along with personal transformation that emerge over years of practice or the full life-style change can far exceed what the majority of students expect. Below are a few tantric steps to make your lovemaking tonight more blissful, fullfilling and spiritually deep. Continue reading “Make "Tantra" part of YOUR lovemaking TONIGHT!”

My Sacred Bodywork Session with Duncan Knight

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sacred intimacy and love thickly filled the room from the moment I walked out of the moist bathroom into the candle light. There I stood freshly cleansed from all of the negativity of the day, wrapped in a white sheet, looking like a Roman Goddess. Duncan bowing his head in reverence to me, hands held in the honoring Namaste’ position. A soft exchange of words between us as he took my hands and guided me deeper into the Sacred space. As I looked about the room, I saw the flickering light of numerous candles, roses lined upon the massage table that was draped in white linen and a glass container of ceremony oil. My guide helped me seat myself upon the table then gently placed his hand on my heart chakra while holding mine on his. Synchronizing our breath’s we gazed for a moment into each other’s eyes. Continue reading “My Sacred Bodywork Session with Duncan Knight”

The True Fountain of Youth ~ Sex is Good for Your Health!

The True Fountain of Youth ~ Sex is Good for Your Health!

Wine is Bottled Poetry

The bitter sweet realities in life, brought to attention through a glass of wine.

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness said Carl Jung. Have you ever noticed that as you sip from a glass of full bodied wine that you gain both the happiness and the sadness within it’s very essence? The velvety texture of a good Merlot can make you feel as though your body has just slipped between satin sheets and come to  certain a place of ecstasy. The warmth that fills your chest as it travels downward is as heavy and strong as a lovers hand pressing against your skin.

 
If you hold a glass close enough to your senses you can smell the sweetness of chocolate and berries. Causing a great anticipation of the moment it touches your lips and glides into your mouth. The saliva buds become active with the thought of this heavenly taste within your mouth.

Wine carries with it many precious celebratory memories of life season’s gone by. It holds hopes and dreams of a plentiful happy future. It has an ability to make romance a bit more sensual and sex a bit more intense. It quenches the thirst of the body and of the soul in a way that no other drink can.

With all this joy comes great sadness in a glass of wine. As with anything in life, there must be balance of the two.

Wine has a mood of it’s own. It stares at you in times of pain as you look down into your glass and laughs as we settle into those sweet memories that seem so distant a thing. In these moments we may find our senses grabbing hold of its bitter side. Feeling instead of warmth from it presence,  fire in the chest. As if we were holding a dragon captive in the tower of our body.

It is in these times that wine can cause tear drops to form from our eyes and our heart to pound to the beats of a sadder drum. We may find ourselves pouring one to many glasses or skipping on the glass entirely and just sitting on the porch, bottle in hand. The rain must come down in life, in order for new grass to grow and flowers to bloom. It is as perfect poetry as the wine itself. The perfect balance of sweet and bitter!

Orgasmic Bliss

Does Tantra help to achieve a full body orgasm? Can both men and women enjoy multiple orgasms? Does tantric lovemaking last longer? These questions are asked often by individuals who are starting on the tantric path, and they have as many answers as there are people asking it.

We were born with the gear for making love and pleasuring ourselves, but “having it” doesn’t mean that we know how to use it to its fullest. Hardly anyone was fortunate enough to be taught the art of lovemaking. Luckily it’s never too late to learn and expand… whether you are 19 or 90…

In ordinary lovemaking, the feelings, attention, and energy are focused mainly in one area: the genitals. The sensations in our genitals are delightful, however, by being focused on “down there” there is a goal and when that goal is realized, this particular sexual episode is over.

In tantric lovemaking, movement, breath, sound and presence are the keys to expand our ecstatic energy and spread it throughout the whole body. Using these keys allows the expansion of bliss and ecstasy rather than release of energy. This is what we call “orgasmic bliss”.

The body can actually contain a vast sexual energy, and when this sexual energy is built up and held in the genitals, release is inevitable – the point of no return. Instead, you can consciously decide to distribute your energy throughout the whole body, thus increasing the body’s capacity for more energy and more pleasure.

And why not continue going higher and higher in lovemaking, even to the point where there is so much ecstasy in the whole body that you become bliss and you don’t have to do anything to stay in bliss? This can be a spiritual experience – you become one with God, yourself and your partner.

The One Big O and Many Little o’s
Orgasm is defined as “involuntary redistribution of energy”. For example, a sneeze falls into this category. So does the One Big O. And so do the many little o’s that we experience throughout the day. Observe yourself. Do you feel a tremor in your body when you taste chocolate mousse or smell a fragrant, perfect rose? Those are more subtle little o’s and they can be triggered by anything that is pleasurable to you.

Generally, orgasm is associated with genitals, as in “the One Big O”. We all know the delicious feeling when we have a Big O – either through self-pleasuring or lovemaking with our beloved. An incredible release of energy happens, our mind stops, our body contracts and lets go, contracts and lets go, undulating in uncontrollable orgasmic spasms. This orgasmic movement feels good.

And it does not have to be related to the genitals. Perhaps you have experienced the following: after a Big O, you relax deeply, you let go completely. This deep relaxation is a conduit through which your orgasmic energy flows into every cell of your being. The sensations could be shivers, your body shakes a little, and you feel as if streams of electrical currents rush through your body like lightning.

The energy moving from the base of the spine upward is what we call a “little o”. This reflex, or the little o’s can be activated anytime, independently of the genitals; for example by smelling that fragrant rose, or enjoying that chocolate mousse mentioned above, or by sharing an embrace. This experience is healing for mind, body and soul, and by cultivating it, pleasure will be abundant in life.

We are blessed to have this phenomenon built into our body. Unfortunately, Western culture has taught us to repress pleasure and our ecstatic self. Knowing this, we can now consciously begin to enjoy the day’s many little o’s and expand all aspects of our daily life into a truly orgasmic experience. Begin to notice this energy, however subtle it may be, welcome this sensuous part of yourself and validate yourself each time you experience a little o.

Our motto is: forget about the One Big O and enjoy the abundance of the little o’s!

This is a repost from Institute For Exstatic Living