This Is Why Your Woman Will Not Pursue You.

Can you imagine starving?
Can you imagine what it must be like to be so hungry and not have food available,
or to not be able to consume the food that is there close to you?
Now I have been hungry before,
there are actually many days that happen where I almost forget about eating. I get so caught up in what I am doing and who I am working with or enjoying,
that food does not cross my mind.
My body though is still hungry.
I might occasionally feel the pains and grumblings of my hunger,
but unless I focus in on it, I can resist it and carry on about what I am doing.
Over time though, my blood sugar get’s low.
My head starts to pound.
I get moody, feel light headed and tired.
I can’t keep focused.
And funny enough, in moments like this, the last thing on my mind is eating.
Instead I wonder about, wondering what’s wrong with me?
Because in the not eating, I forget about food.
 
It never fails though in these moments.
Someone comes along, with something that awakens me to my hunger.
 
I am sure you have had this experience.
You are hungry.
You get side tracked.
You get more hungry.
You ignore the hunger pain.
You dull your senses.
You feel off.
AND THEN……
you smell a burger and fries.
 
Yes, it’s that moment.
You can maybe even smell that burger and fries right now.
You pass that restaurant and you smell it.
 
YUM!!!!!
Your body ignites.
Your stomach yells at you.
Your gut gurgles and says, STOP.
EAT.
 
Okay,
so you can understand this right?
 
Now imagine these two scenarios.
 
1) You are hungry like this. Starving. You catch a whiff of something yummy. Someone walks by you with that burger or steak. You follow them. You smell its juiciness. You can taste it almost. You are so hungry all you desire is a bite. You wish to just taste it. And they look at you and say, “No – my food!”
What are you feeling? What do you do?
 
2) You are hungry like this. Starving. You smell that burger and you decide to run through the drive trough. You order it plus the fries and a soda. You inhale it without thought because of your level of hunger. It’s a piss poor quality burger. It lands in your gut like cement. You feel sick. You feel even worse than before you ate it. You know how bad it was for you and you start to overthink your haste. Now you are upset with yourself for doing what you know you should not have done. You should have waited and taken better care of yourself but the hunger was REAL. What are you feeling? What do you do?
 
In either of these situations,
you are not being fed.
You are not being fulfilled.
There is no real satisfaction.
You just get frustrated.
Irritated.
And want for more, but find yourself KNOWING that what you want is not what you got.
 
Many people when they make poor food choices that make them feel yucky, commit in that moment to not do it again. Or at least not do it to soon again.
 
Many people who are hungry like this, do not choose then to hunt down all the fast food that makes them feel less than good.
 
Many people when they see a link to something causing them issues, choose to either avoid it, or limit their exposure to it.
 
Right?
That seems normal and within logical reason, wouldn’t you agree?
 
Well, here is the thing love.
This tale of starving. Of fast food.
It is actually not about food at all.
It is about satisfaction. Desire. or lack there of.
It is about STARVING.
 
But what I speak of here is the starving of good sex.
The starving of gourmet fulfillment.
I speak here what almost every woman would agree upon if they were raw and real about it.
 
That they are STARVING.
Hungry for something that they hardly get.
 
Can you imagine that 75-80% of the time that you have sex that you do not feel good from it?
That you actually feel yucky.
 
Can you imagine that you feel 75-80% of the time like it was a waist of time, energy and you feel disconnected and more empty then before you went into the situation?
 
Can you imagine that 75-80% of the time that you had sex that you did not enjoy it, have an orgasm?
 
All of this and more is accurate when we truly look into female sexual experience.
 
Gentlemen,
You get fed every time you eat.
You eat what you want and you like it most of the time, because shiz,
it’s food and who does not like food.
 
Well us ladies,
75-80% of the time we eat,
we feel sick from it. And we are not really eating,
we are just getting that whiff of the food.
So who wants to sit in their hunger and just catch a whiff at best 75-80% of the time?
 
Who in their right mind would desire,
pursue, look for or even be excited in the least to have that experience?
 
Not too many people I am guessing.
Yet, our partners ( and I say this as a woman who has had a partner want me to desire just this that I speak on plus the hundreds of couple’s that I have worked with over time who have the male partner wanting to be pursued, desired and frustrated with the woman on not doing so)….
 
Our partners, want us to want this for ourselves.
And they wonder why…
why we women shut down.
Why the sex turns from hot to Anniversary, birthday and Christmas sex.
They wonder what is wrong with their female partner to not want such a wonderful, connective, fulfilling thing such as sexual intimacy.
 
And I tell you in my rawest truth here,
THIS IS ONE MAJOR CONTRIBUTING FACTOR.
 
So what is the answer?
How can you fix her issues?
How can you make sure that she get’s fed?
 
 
These are the questions that are asked in couple-hood.
 
First, it is a two way street.
Both parties need to work on it individually and together, communication MUST happen. Things must change in order to get the results desired.
 
Second, You cannot fix her. She is not broken. And she is not a toy for your fixing Mr. Fix It. So effing STOP! You can however become a better lover. You can gain presence, compassion. You can inquire with skill. You can slow the F-ck down. You can actually want her to enjoy and there fore not get irritated and bored with the time she needs to take. You can do your own internal work, emotionally and mentally.
 
Third, you can do the above two.
And of course, if you need more help.
You still don’t know what to do,
to change.
You can seek outside help.
Like mine, ( Yes my shameless plug there…. but it’s true, you have been doing what you have been doing and you have been blind to what is happening until this moment or you have been really good at ignoring it all and hoping that it would just fix itself. That has not worked though. So… insert my shameless plug again please.)
 
And here are the facts,
sex is important. No matter how we try to discredit it.
Sex and money are the two major factors in relationship breakup and happiness.
 
Many people think they have a successful relationship because they look at the longevity of that relationship. The years spent together.
 
However, the truth is that relationship success is not about the years together,
it’s about the joy. The happiness. The over all feeling that the relationship leaves you with.
 
And most relationships under this mindset of success are far from successful.
 
So I ask you today,
are you content having and providing a fast food sex life at best to your relationship? The person you love and cherish?
 
Or is it time that you discover how to truly feed her?
 
Yes the gourmet variety.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
‘Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for deet’s on my 1:1 global coaching opportunities and more.
 
You deserve a deeply connective, turned on bedroom life and more.

Breathe In Your Orgasm

It’s light hearted,
its shame removing,
it’s triggering as F-ck!
It’s connected and compassionate.
It’s educational and real AF.
It’s how I coach.
 
Yesterday, I was privileged to teach my 9th annual Orgasm Camp. Yes, I just said that ORGASM CAMP.😱
 
We had a packed room as always,
with so many new faces and fresh minds to share with.
It was beautiful to see those who have attended other events or worked with me in some fashion participating in the raw, authentic truth tales around ORGASM.
 
Female Orgasm.
And as usual there were those who could sit in the feeling of orgasm, and all that it means,
and those who could not.
 
What do I mean by sitting in the feeling of orgasm?
 
Orgasm is heightened sensation in the physical body,
it blends into waves of emotion and feelings then arise from that space as well.
It is electrical charges from our brain center that triggers different responses in our bodies, minds and “hearts”.
 
How this translates to yesterdays event….
and to YOU right now.
 
SO in Orgasm Camp,
as sexy as it may sound,
we have a seminar where my co-teacher and I verbally teach about female orgasm and S-E-X. We discuss the mental, emotional and physical aspects of the female sexual body.
Then we take a break and the model get’s ready.
The model then gets undressed and get’s on a table naked…..
 
OMFG! Yes there is a naked woman on a table at Orgasm Camp.
 
Can you feel the energy already?
The triggers going off?
The shame kicking in,
the judgement.
The fear.
The ego.
The desire.
The butterflies.
 
You may be thinking,
“Oh, hell no. I would not got to anything like that.”
 
And you may not.
Many people feel this way,
yet sex,
our intimate bedroom life is one of the main contributors to our happiness,
our confidence,
our body image,
our desire,
our feeling good,
and it plays a significant role in relationship success and happiness.
 
And the majority of people are shut down right HERE.
 
So the model get’s on the table naked,
and then I the teacher, demonstrates some basic tantric and quantum touch techniques on how to activate the body centers and help drop someone down out of the mind space where they can actually embody themselves and FEEL.
 
Little known secret about women’s sex… ( totally being sarcastic right now)🤣😂😛
 
Women need to get out of their head to be able to feel desire,
to be able to open up to sex,
to be turned on.
To want to go there and do it at all,
otherwise they are disconnected and it’s just “duty” based.
 
So I show in class the basics of sensual touch.
I show different touch techniques,
Show different toys,
and skills.
Then we move into revealing the secrets of the clitoris and the g-spot.
And the model…
well she get’s into orgasmic waves.
The real deal waves,
not some Harry met Sally moment waves.
And she show’s ORGASM.
The physical real world changes that occur.
The energetic changes that happen.
And so much more.
 
Now the students,
they sit and witness all of this happening.
They sit and breathe in the energy,
the feeling,
the ORGASM that is moving through the room.
And they feel what they feel in themselves.
 
Often, there is a great number who cannot witness this and choose to leave,
or to go to the restroom.
They tap their toes,
fold their arms and look about the room nervously.
They giggle,
and make under their breath comments,
the do whatever they need to release the energy that they feel coming up in them that they are uncomfortable with.
And they reduce their presence level in the space.
They hide.
They hide form their feelings by side tracking themselves with something.
 
This is a normal, human response to coping with something that is triggering.
We do it in many area’s of our life,
in all relationship,
and we do it to protect ourselves from that which we fear,
and that can potentially go against the grains of what we call our beliefs, our comfort, our understanding.
 
However, when we do this what we do is steal a beautiful opportunity from ourselves to witness our shadow lands,
to expand our knowledge and selves.
We step away from personal expansion and we choose in this moment to shut down to our own growth.
 
I recently read a statement from a a fellow coach/teacher that said,
 
“People will do just about anything to be happy,
except change.”
 
So true this statement is.
And we are all guilty as some level.
 
But when we choose to sit in this energy.
In this feeling,
when we choose to breathe it in and witness our shadow’s and expand them out into the light of revealing our truth,
we GROW.
 
We become more authentic.
And we discover our truth which always leads us to HAPPINESS.
 
Today I ask you to explore what triggers you.
Sit with the feelings that make you uncomfortable,
notice when you want to giggle or laugh,
when you choose to be sarcastic or opinionated,
when you fidget and hide.
 
Ask yourself,
“What am I hiding myself from? What am I fearful of seeing within?”
 
Ask yourself to go deeper into your own realms and DISCOVER a new layer of your truth.
 
Because under your shadows in is your light.
And your POWER.
 
Breathe it in Baby.
You are worthy of who you are.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
Live ORGASMICALLY today and be happy in who you are.
 
Reach out to me for deet’s on 1:1 private coaching to tap you into your true power and truth now.
 
You are worthy

You Have Not Earned Her Depth! ( Guest Author Post)

You can’t jump right in!

You have to make her feel you
You have to slowly earn her trust
You have to stroke her heart until she opens

And when you think she is open and you have found your way in… keep going because you’re not even halfway there.

There are a million barriers and blocks that are still in place and your ability to hold her in every sense of the word, earn her true trust, and expand her heart are the only way past these walls.

You think that because you’ve had her body that you have her heart. You are a fool.

You haven’t even tasted a drop of her sexual depth and you won’t until you hold her…

I mean really hold her!
Stand in the heat of her fire and don’t run

You spout pretty words but these words mean nothing to a heart that has heard them before. The feminine doesn’t want your false promises. The feminine wants your presence, your truth, and to be explored in all ways.

You MUST keep the dance going.
You MUST keep diving deeper
You MUST throw her into ecstatic bliss outside of the bedroom as much as inside the bedroom.

You say you want her…. prove it.
You say you desire her… show it.
You say you hunger for her depth… then stop being lazy AF with her heart!

You can’t just walk into a woman’s world and expect her to give herself to you. The beauty of a woman is also her complexity. There are so many layers and they won’t be shown to you until you have proven yourself trustworthy to be shown these depths. And then…. SURPRISE!!! You will find more depths to be explored.

Let me share a quick story.

I was with a man that I had known lightly at an intimate level. In all honesty, we didn’t know each other at any great depth but the energy was intriguing and so we explored.

Though in conversation one day he told me he wanted me to share the depths with him of things that had been going on… to trust him, to rip my heart open for him, to see behind my walls.

I got PISSED!!! Yes, I was severely angry at this moment.

How DARE he ask this of me!!!
He hadn’t done a bit of work to earn my heart.
What made him think he was worthy of my trust when there was no stroking at all.

He wanted to “Dry F*ck” my emotions.
No thank you!
That doesn’t sound pleasant.

So I could be left sore, bleeding, and damaged on the ground when he walked away for months not to speak to me again?

He spoke beautiful words
He was amazingly attractive
He was seductive in his touch
He was playful

But I wasn’t into games with my heart
And he didn’t put the effort in of truly stroking my depth
Allowing the true awakening of my arousal.

And if you drop a woman… you close her off even deeper and put your own barriers in the way.

This isn’t about sex… a woman can give you sex. We can easily go in and have what appears to be amazing sex but it’s only the tip of the iceberg of what you could have.

If you want her and I mean really and truly want her…
You have to be willing to go all in.
You have to take the time to open her up.
And I promise you that when you think she is opened to you, that there is more to still be explored.
And the second you stop exploring is the second you will be locked out of heaven!

Go explore your woman’s depth and I promise you will find your depth.
But unless you want to release her fire towards you…
Don’t expect or demand a depth you have not earned.
Yes, you have to earn it!

Sending you all …

Love, Light & Blessings,

Addison Bell

Ageing Backward, Is That A Thing?

Some day’s I feel beautiful.
Someday’s I feel youthful.
Someday’s I feel vibrant.
And those someday’s are most day’s,
these day’s.
 
They say age is just a number.
They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
They say that wrinkles show character and wisdom.
They say a lot, don’t they…
whoever they are.
 
But what about aging backward?
Is it possible?
 
I believe it is.
 
I believe it because most day’s I live it.
Most day’s I glow,
I feel all the above.
Granted you could say it is because I am obsessive about skin care,
and this I am.
However, there is so much more to it.
 
Glowing youthfulness comes from being turned on to life.
Vibrancy comes from letting the universe f-ck you wide open.
Beauty comes from loving yourself.
 
Good orgasm,
plays a massive role too.
And I mean orgasm,
not just sex.
There are plenty of times in life where sex can drain your ass instead of give you an afterglow,
and the afterglow only comes from being filled up with all those yummie chemicals that ONLY orgasm can provide most effectively.
 
But on top of that,
youthful skin, appearance and radiance comes from being a tad bit selfish and making space for self-care practices.
It also comes from not polluting your mind with draining negative stinking thinking.
 
You can do all the right things with diet.
You can do all the right things with skin care.
If you’re mindset is wrong,
if you are not overflowing with orgasmic energy,
if you are not taking daily TLC time for you,
and most importantly,
if you are not living in your JOY.
 
Then guess what beautiful?
You will age.
and age quickly.
No matter what the years are for you,
your glow tells the truth of your state of being.
Of your VIBE.
 
Are you blah?
Are you pale?
Are you dried out?
Are you squinting and making angry faces,
when you are “not thinking about anything?”
 
What does your energy toward life say about your vibrance?
 
Are you ready to JUMP UP,
get a start on life and the day?
 
or are you a grumpy little dwarf?
 
Okay Beautiful,
you don’t have to wither away.
No one wishes this for you,
least of all God or your soul.
 
But when you look in the mirror,
when you truly stop and look,
look into your eye’s and feel your heart.
What does your soul have to say?
Is she happy?
 
Want to really get a clear answer?
cup your pussy with one hand,
and place your hand on your heart with the other.
Now look yourself in the eye.
Feel.
 
F-E-E-L into your body.
Feel past your body.
Tap into SOUL Baby.
 
What does she say?
Is she happy?
Is she turned on?
Is she ignited?
In love?
orgasmic?
 
Want to age backward without botox or surgery?
The answer is SOUL.
 
Soul Alignment.
 
That’s right sistar!
Your soul want’s you to take the plunge into her,
your soul desires to embody you,
she wants you to look in the mirror and truly feel your authentic self.
She wants you to stop caring what everyone else thinks,
or what you perceive they are thinking.
She wants you to claim your mother f-cking life as the badass bitch that you are and stop being the people pleasing pussy that you pretend to be.
 
You are worthing BABY!
It is high effing time that you just accept who you are,
who you were born to be,
and take that step into your greatness.
 
Afterall, you’re not getting any younger.
Or are you?
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
——————————————————————————
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This signature women’s coaching is available to any woman who desires to tap into her authentic self and live as the goddess that she was born to be.
 
In life,
in love,
in sex,
in business.
 
It is your time to CLAIM your Queenship BABY!
Grab one of the last 3 spot’s available for this signature coaching program.
Available worldwide.
 
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The Goddesses Dragon – My Tale of Surrender to the Masculine

He wants my surrender.
I can feel it at my greatest depths.

He wants me fully.
Open and inviting to his everything.
He wants my surrender,
and he is willing to work for it.
He is willing to take the journey into the depths of my being,
where he will uncover my hidden treasures,
which I fear may seem like dragons,
yet he assures me in his holding,
that he does not want to slay my dragons,
he only want to bask in their beauty,
he wants to sit with them in moments of stillness,
and he wants to just take them in.

He wants to see their beauty,
that beauty that only a deep understanding of love can handle,
that beauty that is so revealing of the soul.
Most are not strong enough within themselves to face this beauty,
this light,
this power,
the dragon.

Most fear being devoured by it.
What they begin in the courting process admiring from a afar,
they end with wanting to own and control.
Because it scares them.
It is wild,
it is fierce,
it is powerful beyond measure,
and desires to conquer the hearts of its admirers.

Few are able to hold themselves,
within the presence of this beast.

But, every now and then,
a gentleman comes about,
makes himself known,
and smiles in the presence of the magic he has found in caverns of the goddess.

And this gentleman,
this gentleman,
ignites the goddesses soul.
Sets it on fire.

And she desires to dance for him.
She desires to open herself for him,
and let him in.

Yet she is scared beyond measure,
her past tells of beautiful love saga’s,
intense love and loss.
She is fearful to become vulnerable with this man.
Because of the pain,
the pain that her heart will endure.
Yet she desires it all.
The love and depth,
are worth the pain.
Are worth the standing before her own dragon,
and smiling within its flames.

She know’s that this man,
is rare, and unique.
That he is one who can hold her fire.
At least for a time.
And she wants to surrender.
She craves the intimacy.
She craves the revealing.
She craves the integrity.
And the opening.

Physically.
Mentally.
Emotionally.

She leans in.
And she drops into his arms,
resting in his strength.
Resting in his admiration.
She let’s her emotions be seen.
She laughs,
she cries,
and she opens a bit more.

This cavern is deep.
And she realizes,
that her dragon is not to be feared.

She now understands what this gentleman has known,
the fire of her dragon will not harm when lifted in love,
it will only light the way to more caverns for them to explore.

Explore together.
The depths of their souls.

And so she looks at the gentleman,
with tears streaming from her eye’s,
and she say’s yes to the opening.

They lay together, enwrapped in the moment,
and they smile.

Blessed be to all of you who read this and venture into the depths of the goddesses caverns with hearts on fire,
and souls ignited.

Be wise in your journey and know that the dragon is there to protect the goddess from those that are unworthy,
and there to guild those who are,
into her surrender.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

How Eating Pussy After You Cum Builds Intimacy.

He came hard and strong.
He came deep and long.
He vibrated my whole body with his orgasm and carried me deeper into my own.
My pussy twitched, squeezed and swallowed him up with her orgasmic sucking of his cum.
My heart raced,
as he pushed deeper,
pressing up against my cervix,
opening her,
quivers, convulsions, followed by moans.
The wetness intensified,
and he softened.
Still stroking,
allowing me to ride my own orgasmic wave,
as his cock relaxed within my warm embrace.
Together we breathe deep.
Hearts racing.
We kiss.
Without notice he moves in hast downward,
devouring me with his mouth.
Spreading open my legs,
his lips,
his tongue,
sucking, kissing and enjoying the cocktail of our juices together that flow from my flesh.
My pussy ignites at the comfort that he enjoys this with.
Teasing my clit,
nursing softly on her even,
as he penetrates my pussy with his fingers and licks her soft lips.
For a moment, my mind wonders,
panics even,
in fear that he will not be okay with our blended juices,
and will step away from me, leave me here on the verge of vulnerability.
Here where my body is opening and craving more.
But then I find myself in gratitude,
in love even with his confidence,
his comfort in himself,
as a man,
in our sex,
and with my body.
He does not stray away from the moment,
but instead hungers toward it.
His strength in his own acceptance is powerful,
is beautiful and refreshing.
He heals my soul and my sex at a deeper level in this moment without even realizing it.
The lesson he shares with me is to love yourself.
Accept yourself.
And with this acceptance of self,
others too will embrace and accept you at a deeper level.

Yes.
Yes.
Here is what we crave as humans.
Here is what we all want.
Acceptance.
Connection.
To be able to be raw, real and ourselves.
And to be embraced this way.

But how do we truly achieve acceptance in life,
with other human beings?
With our lovers?

We do it by accepting ourselves.
We do it by embracing ourselves.
We do it by being real and raw with who we are.
And learning to love our flaws,
our humanness.
We do it by being turned on to connection.

I hear from many people,
“I want depth in a realtionship.”
” I don’t want sex to just be friction. I want to be felt, seen and to really feel and see my partner”
” I want to feel love and connection.”
” I just wish I could be accepted for who I am.”

You will never have these things.
IF – You are not first accepting yourself.
and
IF – you are not truly turned on to connection.

What do I mean by turned on to connection?
Turned on to connection means that you need to actually appreciate, accept and even enjoy other human beings.
You need to WANT to connect.
Not just say that you want it and then turn around and bitch about it.
Or claim that you hate people.
If you hate people,
then how do you ever expect to have any of the above things?
If you hate people, then you more than likely are highly judgmental of people and thus of yourself,
which leads us back to self acceptance.

And if you cannot accept yourself fully,
then you will never be able to accept another.

Which will leave a feeling with others that you are judging them.
Because you are.

In our sex,
we are most critical,
judgmental,
and fearful of our humanness.
We fear that which we desire the most.
because it shows our humanness.
Our flaws.

My share above about an experience with a lover is one that I bring up because I have experienced the direct opposite as well.

Years ago, I had a lover that turned me on in so many amazing ways,
his scent,
his flavor,
his kiss,
his smile,
his voice,
his personality,
his body.

All were yummie as f-ck.
I could devour the man for hours if he would let me.
But then would come the moment where I might take him in my mouth and enjoy giving him pleasure. Afterward, my desire to be snuggled and kissed were high and I would lean into these, he on the reverse side would lean away.

Avoiding the post blow job kiss.
Avoiding the post sex snuggle.
Even if he had not cum in my mouth he was challenged by the fact that his cock had been there and would no longer deeply kiss me.
In our sex, after he came, he would retract himself quickly from my body,
he would never venture downward to make sure that I was fulfilled,
and he would want to shower afterward.

Any one of these things, let alone all of them together revealed a deep intimacy issue and acceptance issue.

Not with me primarily, although that was the side effect.
But with himself.

Never allowing him to fully embrace the beauty and turn on of what our relationship could have been and offered.

The end result was a break up.
And why?
Because his disconnect to himself created a space that left me feeling it was not safe to surrender to him,
that he found me nasty in some fashion,
and that our sex was not about connection or love,
not even healthy play and f-ck buddies,
but that I was just a masturbation toy to him,
a piece of meat,
that he used and then was disgusted by.

I felt like I was far from accepted.
I felt disgusting.

Yet, with other lovers like the one above,
where he embraced us both,
remained turned on throughout our whole experience,
and accepted us both in all our humanness,
left me feeling beautiful,
turned on,
wanting him more,
and open.

Here is intimacy.
Here is authenticity.
Here is love,
first with self, then with another.

And the ONLY way to have it….
Acceptance of self.

No matter what you may be desiring in life,
the first step toward it is based in this truth.
If we can not accept who we are,
then we do not really know ourselves either.
Therefore, we cannot move forward in soul alignment.
And we will not achieve our desired life.
Have our desired relationships.
Or enjoy the F-ck YES! Life that we crave at our core.

Take this moment to STOP and appreciate yourself.
Look in a mirror,
really look,
deep into your own eye’s,
tell yourself that you love yourself.
Notice where your self- criticisms come up, ‘where you harbor pain, anger, frustration about yourself,
and just lean into it with love.

Embrace yourself fully and life will embrace you.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

It is NOT compromise. It is rape!

Are you effing kidding me?
Really?
How can you do that to your body?
To your psyche?
To your everything?

I don’t effing get it.
Yet…

I DO.

I get it because I use to do it too.
I did it so much that I grew comfortable with it.
It just became part of my norm.
And I did not see the bitterness and resentment that it engraved into my life,
into my relationship,
until it was too late.

I thought it was just how it was.
And that it was “okay.”

After all life is about compromise, right?
We cannot always have things our way,
and sometimes,
actually often,
we have to find a space that neither side gets what it wants and both give in to something that is doable to make the results the best they can be.

So, this is what I thought I was doing.
And I was.
And you are too!

But you want in on a little secret?
Not a secret, actually,
just a reality that you may not want t o hear because you may feel disgusting after you fully digest it.

In these times like I share here,
which happens to be all too many times in our lives.
In all areas of our life as I have discovered.

You are raping yourself.

Yes.
I just said that.

And I will say it again.
So happy f-cking Monday morn my peep’s!!!!

You are raping yourself.
You most likely are doing it right now.
Or you soon will be.
Or you will in a few hours or by the end of today.

Your raping yourself.
You are are bending over,
spreading yourself open,
saying “sure, that’s okay….yeah…yeah…let’s do this or that.”

You are believing that you have to do that in order to exist
You have to do it in order to keep peace,
in order to enjoy some rewards that you don’t believe you will have unless you give of yourself in this fashion.

You believe that if you were to say no.
To say I am not in the mood.
I am not turned on to this or that.
It does not feel good to me.
That actually hurts me.
I don’t like that at all.
I never get anything from this.

or…

some other statement of your lack of interest in it,
that you would loose something.

You are afraid that you would have life shut you down in some way.

You are afraid that if you stated your truth,
that you would not be received well,
and then that would hurt you more than just saying yes,
when you are a no.

So you say, ” Okay.. let’s do it!
And you figure, ” It’s just compromise. It’s just the way life is. You cannot have everything you want all the time. So what’s the harm is giving of yourself this time or the next when even though you really hate it, or are shut down to it?”

Whats the BIG effing deal?

Rape seems like a harsh term to use Kendal.
I am not raping myself!
I am just compromising.
I am just letting someone else use my body, my time, my energy, my money, my life for their pleasure. For their abundance building. for their goals and aspirations.

That is the way life works.
Have you not heard?

Sure I don’t feel great afterward.
My body feels yuck.
I feel a low grade depression.
I feel weaker,
less excited about things.
I have a tough time looking in the mirror.
Or making eye contact.
I crave all the wrong foods or I feel like not eating at all.
I am testy.
Moody.
Angry.
Anxiety ridden.
Fatigued.
Can’t sleep well.
Weaken immune system.

Yeah so what.
That is just part of life.
It’s not rape.

Well, I am sorry to shed the light on this for you,
but as a woman who has experienced rape in the sexual nature a couple of times in my life,

and as a woman who has had all too much duty sex AKA self rape ( in my opinion),

and as a woman who has allowed herself to be raped emotionally, psychologically, financially, time wise and many other ways through out life here and there.

I will tell you with utter certainty.

YOU ARE RAPING YOURSELF!!!!!

And to make matters worse.
You think its normal.
Its okay.
That you have too.

OMFG!!!!!
Have a little love for yourself already.
You got no love?
How about empathy?
Compassion?

Where the f-ck is your give a shit for you?
Yet you claim you want a life worth living.
You claim you want to make changes.
You claim you want joy,
happiness, love.
ABUNDANCE.

But you think by spreading your legs and allowing someone else to have their way, to pump pump eww goo in you and get theirs that you are going to somehow succeed at having the life that you want? ( scratching my head here.)

Are you effing kidding me?
You are crazy!

That is all I have to say.
Although,
I get it.

I REALLY do.
Because I have been you.
In all areas of my life.

But you know what the reality is?
At some point,
You have to close up your rape shop.
You have to start to honor yourself enough,
to say NO.

You have to get into integrity with the most important person in your life.

YOU.
And you have to not just give it lip service, no you have to actually commit to it.

You want freedom based living?
You want a F-ck Yes Life?
You want to be in love with yourself and your life?
You want to be proud of yourself?
You want to actually succeed at having what you claim you want?

Well here is the gig.
You must stop raping yourself.

In all areas of your life.
It is time.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

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I will be sharing mind shift strategies that I have adapted through the years to manifest the Freedom Based Life that I now live today.

Limited Workshop Spot’s due to the 1+1 Private Focus Sessions that come with this workshop.
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My Orgasm Is Not Just Between My Legs.

My orgasm is not just between my legs!
 
My orgasm is so much more than I can share in words.
My orgasm is what I thrive on.
My orgasm is what radiates me,
it gives me the drive to keep going on when it seem’s as though I should not be able too.
My orgasm is what wakes me at 5:55am.
My orgasm is what keeps me up until 1:30am or later many nights.
My orgasm is why I smile.
It is why I make eye contact.
It is why I walk with ease and breathe deep.
My orgasm is what make my world go around.
 
And when I let go of my orgasm….
well my world effing shatters.
 
My soul screams at me.
 

“Girl!!!!!! WTF are you doing allowing your life to be non-orgasmic? GET YOUR ASS back on the orgasm band wagon and let it rip!”

 
Yes.
This is what my soul screams.
If I choose to ignore,
then I can only expect suffering.
I know for sure that my life will dwindle,
my mood will crash,
my drive for life, for sex, for anything that is beneficial will soften and will become numb.
 
I will no longer walk with certainty and ease.
I will no longer make eye contact in peace and love.
I will no longer feel myself interwoven with all that is and can be.
I will no longer feel the tingle, the throb of the desire.
And I will most certainly not have a genital orgasm.
Or an orgasm of the heart.
 
No I will walk in the land of the uncertain.
And I will fear.
 
SO why the f-ck would I ever let go of my orgasm?
 
I have lost it before.
And I occasionally loose it here and there.
It feel’s horrible to have this happen.
 
But when I do.
I come into the realization that in order for me to fully understand, appreciate and know my life of orgasm,
I must experience for a time frame here and there the polarities that life offers us.
 
Through these polarities,
through challenges and loss,
through feeling a low vibe,
is how we gain desire and appreciation for something more.
 
It is how we learn what brings us into orgasm.
 
Then when we find ourselves spread open in the gasps of the divine,
when we bask in the joy of our surrender,
we can then fully reap the orgasm.
 
And this we shall.
As long as we remain here,
in this allowing state,
we can maintain the orgasm for an eternity.
 
As long as we do not question the how?
As long as we do not examine and define the challenges,
but instead just move through them in grace and ease with no resistance,
then we will not be harmed by them,
but instead remain in joy and orgasm with our lives.
 
Remaining aligned to our soul.
And interwoven with all of the universe.
 
Here we can have all our desires.
Here we can enjoy the banquet table,
and breathe deeply.
 
Because there is no question of our worth.
There is no question of who we are,
or who we “should” be.
 
No all that is there is love.
And through this state of conscious allowing,
and leaning into the things that feel good to our souls,
we are led.
 
It is these things that capture us.
And it is these things that make us thrive.
 
So where is your orgasm?
Mine is not between my legs alone.
Mine is every breath.
Every heart beat.
It is brought in through my thoughts and my feelings,
and the awareness of them keep me in the vibe of my life orgasm.

 

What does your vibe say about your Orgasm?

 

As always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

 
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” Five steps to a Freedom Based Life”
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Allowing Your ORGASM.

Orgasm.
I love a good orgasm.
I crave a good orgasm.
I need so desperately a good orgasm.

How about you?

Lately I have been challenged though with orgasm.
And I am noticing that it is increasingly becoming more and more difficult for me to drop down and open up to ORGASM.

I find myself with my lover,
attempting to open up,
attempting to receive,
attempting to lean more in to all that he is offering me.

I know that my pleasure increases his pleasure.
I know that it is not his responsibility to get me to orgasm.

The reality is that ONLY I can give myself an orgasm.
I do not say this as to say that only I can “rub one out.”
No I mean that only I can give myself an orgasm by allowing it to happen.

So why am I preventing myself from this pleasure?
Why am I limiting my experience?

Fear.
An Issue with Worthiness.
An Issue with Trust.
An Issue with Self- Love and thus love in itself and even toward my partner.

Here is the reality of why one does not open to ORGASM.

Instead I find myself,
laying there closed off in frustration.

I find myself craving more,
but not asking for what I need or want in the moment.

I find myself not speaking about it in general.
I find myself a prisoner in my mind during sex.
Disconnected from my body,
disconnected from my sex.

Instead of spreading my whole being more open,
Instead of saying, “Hey, I need this touch… or this position.. or this time…this kiss.” I say nothing and go into analyzation of the mechanics of what is happening, of what is wrong with me, of a technique or I just find myself drifting off into some other place that is non sexy in my mind and getting lost there until a nerve is teased and brings me back to my body for a second.

Pretty disappointing.
Especially because my partner is being present, loving, supportive, taking his time and really applying himself to my pleasure.

I see all of his greatness.
I just cannot feel it.

And this reality has NOTHING to do with him,
and everything to do with me.

So here I sit after a ton of good sexing,
with female blue balls. ( Yes that is a thing, us ladies get blue balls just like men. And we get bitchy as hell from it.)

I sit here after a bunch of good sexing,
frustrated, throbbing, achy, moody, disappointed in myself, tired and in fear.

Fear of sharing my truth.
Fear of what is going on with me inside my heart and mind.
I know my body is fine, my heart and mind though are struggling to open back up to love and connection and feel overwhelmed from all the stresses of life.
Fear of what my lover may think or feel if I share my truth.

With all of that shared, I KNOW the path I must take.
And if you are challenged with finding your ORGASM as well,
if you are experiencing a moment like what I am,
where you are having good sex,
with a good partner,
and you are enjoying the sex,
you just are NOT GETTING THERE.
You just DO NOT FEEL the release.
The CONNECTION.
The ORGASM.
But it is still good.

Then listen up!

Take it from someone who has been educating and coaching on SEX and ORGASM for the last decade and can be multi- orgasmic.

If you are feeling non-orgasmic and wonder will I ever get through this?

If you are questioning what is wrong with me?

You can get through it.
You can access your “O”
You can feel again.

The steps to pleasure are not about a better stroke.
Are not about deeper penetration.
Are not about more sex.

What you have to do is simple but not easy.

LET GO.
OPEN UP YOUR HEART.
GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD.

Stop focusing on the mechanics of sex.
Sex for us women is so very much more than mechanics.
We will NEVER access true orgasm if we are just focusing in on our genitals and the mechanics.

ORGASM is not about the “in and out”

It is about the CONNECTION.
First to self.
Then to partner.

It is a meditation.
It requires us to let go of our fears, our concerns,
our thoughts about everything else.

And JUST BECOME ONE
with our PUSSY.

As we open our hearts and soul in our sex,
we open our pussy’s ability to feel more,
to experience more.

This WILL REQUIRE our love of self,
and our understanding that we are WORTHY of pleasure and of LOVE.

We must support our ORGASM by asking for what we need.
By guiding in love our partners hands, mouths, cocks and attention.

We cannot just LAY THERE.
No.
If you craving ORGASM the way that I am, then you have to COMMIT to CLAIMING IT.

You have to ASK for IT.
DEMAND IT.

Therefore it is high time BABY,
that you speak up.
Show if you have too.
Try new things.
Get PLAYFUL.
OPEN YOURSELF.

Stop beating yourself up for not having an ORGASM.
For feeling like a shitting partner, because you cannot achieve what you and your partner both want for you,

but instead OPEN to it.

IT IS TIME YOU LOVE YOURSELF.
KNOW YOU ARE WORTH IT.

WORTH IT ALL!

No one else can do this for you.
No one else can get you to open up.
To receive.
To ORGASM.

And here is just one more reality ladies,
When you finally open to the “O” between your legs,
and it comes from your core, not the mechanics of sex.

You will be on the path to EMBRACING YOUR LIFE “O”
as well.

You will start to tap into ALL OF YOUR beautiful abundance.
You will STEP INTO YOUR POWER.

Your Goddess.
She awaits you.
She is you.

“The Goddess between my legs, makes mouths water.” – Rupi Kaur

May your rivers flow endlessly.

And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

Ode to My Greatest Lover

I wake.
I open myself.
I breathe in deeper.
I feel my fear of this expansion,
of this birthing,
This quaking of my soul as it rattles the cage that it has lived in so long.
My back arches as though my being in is orgasmic rapture,
my hips feel tense and my pussy quivers, tightening, squeezing, releasing.
My heart beats faster and then holds its emotion,
as to not let it escape,
the tears want to be released,
stream down my cheeks and be tasted by my lips.
My lips long to be devoured,
seduced by my lover.
My hands burn,
tremble and shake.
My breath is deep in this moment as I try and relax myself,
Relax from this expansion,
this birthing,
this quaking of my soul.
The cage that once held me so tight,
its bars are no more.
The walls that sheltered me and contained me,
have vanished.
There is nothing.
Nothing more of the me that I have been till now.
I am almost non existent and yet everything.
It is terrifying and brilliant.
I know that I am waking,
that I am becoming,
more.
It is all that I need,
all that I crave,
all that I am.
I am this rapture.
My body opens more,
ready to receive the deepest of penetration,
hungry and wet,
waiting for the teasing touch of my lover in this instant,
My lips full of pulsing blood, my muscles tingle and long for the sensation of being taken,
taken into this climax.
Taken into this rapture.
My soul know’s,
it know’s that there is no escape,
there is no refuge,
this will be orgasmically painful,
and will envelope me.
This will carry me to the greatest of heights,
where I will not be able to move,
I will only be carried.
Carried into the light.
Carried into the joy.
Carried into the bliss.
Carried into the orgasm.
Here, here I will meet my lover.
Here I will wake,
here in the arms of the one that holds me.
Here in the embrace,
I will be penetrated.
Deeper.
Deeper.
And when I feel I can go no further,
when I feel that I have nothing more to give,
nothing more to offer,
when I am exasperated and breathless,
when I am certain that the climax is over,
Deeper.
Deeper.
Till I can not deny.
I cannot hold back any longer.
Where my only option is to surrender.
Where I will become.
The rapture.
My legs open wider,
my knee’s tremble,
deep within my womb there is a fire,
there is creation,
there is a calling.
There is a earning.
Juices are flowing,
I am wet with desire.
I am wet with hunger.
I am salivating…
My lover.
Takes me.
Deeper.
Deeper.
I feel I am too much,
Can I be held if I am too much?
Can I be accepted if I am too much?
Will I frighten my lover?
Will my chaotic, crazy, passion devour him?
 
Yes.
Yes it will devour.
It will eat him up.
He will come to me,
I will drink from him,
I will inhale his essence,
I will absorb his breath.
He will seize to exist,
he will be everything.
And nothing.
This rapture,
This climax.
I sit in it,
fearful.
Intent.
Full.
Hungry.
Here I sit.
In bliss.
Knowing that this is the rapture of my soul.
This is the knowing,
the meeting,
of me.
My lover, he has always been there.
He will NEVER leave.
He is there,
penetrating me.
Deeper.Deeper.
Until I can come no more.
Until my juices have flooded my world,
washed me clean,
and carried him away.
Here,
I wake.
I open myself.
I breathe in deeper.
I feel my fear of this expansion,
of this birthing,
This quaking of my soul as it rattles the cage that it has lived in so long.
I release.
I come.
I surrender.
In the arms of my lover.
In the arms of God.
I can fly.
 

As always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

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