WHY I DO SEX DAILY.

WHY I DO SEX DAILY….
 
I have sex almost daily.
It’s just my THING.
I do sex daily yes because I love sex,
but more so for what sex gives me.
And I am not referring to the mind blowing orgasms that only happen here and there.
 
Okay so it’s truth time folks,
yes ME,
the sex expert and coach that helps thousands of people have better and more sex DOES NOT have mind blowing, earth shaking orgasm daily.
Actually most days, its pretty meh…
The sex is just normal,
and even boring at times.
But I still do sex almost daily,
and some days if the opportunity presents itself two or three times.
 
Just a week ago I spent about 7 hours out of 24 having sex.
Now that was yummy.
But why was it yummy?
Why did I want to have 7 hours of sex?
or have it daily, especially if I am not having mind blowing sex or even an orgasm most of the time?
 
The simple truth is that SEX ignites my creative juices.
Sex allows me a medative state, no matter the outcome to work on embodying myself,
sex allows me practice time to get out of my head and FEEL myself at a deep level.
I get to practice letting go,
I get to practice vulnerability,
I get to practice surrender,
I get to see where I am challenged and through the rhythm of my sex,
the consistent allowance of letting myself feel and stepping away from the idea of cumming,
but just BEING instead,
I get to connect to my CORE and thus feel my partner at a deeper level.
 
I have discovered through the years,
that our SEX is linked to so many things.
Self-confidence,
self-love,
boundaries,
ability to receive and give,
thinking patterns,
fear,
DESIRE,
passion,
VITALITY,
a feeling of freedom,
a feeling of peace,
centeredness,
physical well-being,
mental well-being,
and expanded spiritual depth.
 
To just name a few.
Yet we are taught to shame our sex,
to hide from it,
to ignore it,
to STARVE IT.
We are taught that our sex is evil.
And that it should only be used to make babies, or relieve stress QUICKLY.
 
And this way of thinking about our sex,
has us shut down,
fearful,
and not having sex.
It has us feeling disconnected from life, ourselves and the people we love.
It has us feeling insecure and angry,
depressed and lost.
And it has us trying to achieve what we have a void in through any means possible.
It has us acting out and traumatizing ourselves and others.
 
Instead of loving ourselves,
being responsible,
compassionate,
mature people,
we are like caged, starving, beaten wild animals.
This is what our world has become when we DO SEX.
And it’s all because we have such a limited, repressed view and understanding of this beautiful gift from God.
 
Sex and finances are the top two reasons marriages break up.
Sex actually out weights money,
because when the sex is crap,
when the sex is disconnected and toxic,
when sex is just about the get off,
then you have a partner being used and abused.
You have trauma setting in and the relationship is TOXIC.
No amount of money can heal that.
That is all about embodiment.
That is all about connection.
 
And you can ONLY CONNECT to your partner if you know how to connect to yourself first.
 
THAT IS WHY I DO SEX DAILY.
 
The consistent practice of leaning more into ME.
 
How does your sex feel to you?
Connected and deep?
Expansive and full?
or shallow, empty and about the release?
 
Want to learn how you have beautiful sexing all the time and access these states of peace, joy and connection.
Enjoy intimacy no matter what is going on in your life?
Reach out to me for information on my 1:1 coaching available globally today.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

So You Think You Know Me….

SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME….
 
I mean we have been dating for sometime now after all.
And you are such a sweet person.
I love how you make me feel.
I love the looks you give at different times.
I love listening to your stories.
I just love the way that you are.
You make me smile.
You make my heart race and jump for joy when I see you.
I just love you for just how you are.
 
 
Mmmmmm……
Hmmmmm…….
 
And so because you feel all this you have now proclaimed that YOU KNOW ME?
 
 
I saw you sitting there,
looking oh so nice.
This conversation we are having has me feeling really good.
I have this desire rising up to kiss you.
I know that I want more.
You seem really great.
Good looking,
clean,
intelligent.
My gut tells me that I can trust you.
I mean you say that you don’t ever do this sort of thing.
You say that you are safe and clean.
You say that you have not been with anyone for so long.
I feel that I can trust you.
 
Mmmmmm……
Hmmmmm……
 
And so because you feel all this you have now proclaimed that YOU KNOW ME?
 
So we have been chatting for some time,
I have been sharing pieces of myself with you and you with I.
I feel so close to you.
I feel like I know your SOUL.
It’s beautiful and yummy to feel this side of you.
I have seen you go through some things.
I have seen tears wash down your cheeks.
And heard your laughter rise from your chest.
Everything you do,
makes me yearn to know you more.
But I feel like I really know you NOW.
 
Mmmmmm……
Hmmmmm…..
 
We have been together for all these years,
raised a family,
moved a few states,
been through ups and downs.
I have felt you at your best and worst.
I know what pains you and what brings you joy.
I see you daily and rest my head next yours.
We have our goals.
We have our commitment.
And we communicate,
or so I feel.
And so I KNOW YOU like no one else could.
 
Mmmmmmm…….
Hmmmmmm……
 
And so because you feel all this you have now proclaimed that YOU KNOW ME?
 
LOL…
Such a laughable idea is all of this.
I tell you that YOU HAVE NOT THE KNOWING you believe.
Not in any such way of any of these relationships.
 
For no matter what I share,
or who you witness me to be.
No matter the time spent together or not,
YOU DO NOT KNOW ME.
 
You know the version of me that you want to know.
You know the image of me that feels safe to you.
But you do not KNOW ME.
 
You see that thing you feel is knowing,
that thing is actually your ideas about me.
That version of me that you see,
it is part me of yesterday,
part me of today,
and part me that you wish me to be.
It is NOT ME.
 
And if you think that you know me,
after such a short time,
if you think that you get me when you have no idea whats inside,
if you think that you understand me,
that you want to be with me or enjoy me,
then know that whatever you perceive of me is not mine.
Because honey,
YOU DO NOT KNOW ME.
 
You cannot know if someone is true,
if they are trustworthy,
if they are who they say they are,
or you desire them to be,
from just one meeting.
 
The same is true my dear after three or ten dates.
No matter how much sexing, kissing and holding,
if you have not seen me at my worst,
been in the trenches of my pain.
rolled in the grasses of life in my joy,
or caught in my rain.
If you have not fought till 3 am,
or held me in fear of loosing me,
then you cannot know me.
 
If you believe that knowing me is what you perceive,
if you believe that our relationship is deeper than you can imagine,
but you have no clue what my greatest fear is or my grandest joy,
then you cannot know me.
You may FEEL LIKE YOU DO,
but honey it’s not true.
 
This relationship is sweet,
it is short of depth or truth,
if you choose to believe me,
those pictures I paint,
those tales that I tell,
then honey you are silly,
you are hungry for my love,
my attention and your perception,
but YOU DO NOT KNOW ME.
 
 
This poem is for all those out there that believe that they can trust someone after a first date, or commit to a life with someone after 2, 3 or 6 months.
This poem is for all those who feel like they want to rush into relationship,
rush into commitment,
rush into bare sex,
rush into love.
 
I promise you this, that feeling that you are having is nothing more than a honeymoon feeling, new relationship energy.
And it will fade and your perceptions will change,
your hungers as well.
For in 6, 12, 18 months you will see something more.
And when year three comes to pass, you will START to meet your mate.
The truth will come about and you may discover the stranger that resides by you at night.
 
Hire Slow.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
To learn more valuable relationship success concepts and truths and how to call in that SOULMATE, reach out to me for deet’s on 1:1 coaching today.
 
 
 
 
 

Are Your Relationship Idea’s Making You A Prostitute?

Every woman wants a guy to have a rockin’ resume!

I mean all of us want that night in shining armor.
We want him to be tall, dark and handsome.
We want him to be rich.
We want him to be generous and compassionate.
We want him to be romantic and a good listener.
We want him to be world traveled.
We want him to be intelligent.
We want him to love our bodies as they are.
We want him to love our minds and hearts more.
We want him to just get us.
We want him to be passionate and playful.
We want him to be confident.
We want him to act like a grown up and take care of his responsibilities.
We want him to do everything right in the bedroom.
We want him to be a good kisser.
We want him to appreciate everything that we do.
We want him to respect us.
We want him to worship us.
We want him to be everything that we want him to be and just get it without us ever having to tell him what we want.

I mean if he just paid attention and was present,
if he inquired and asked the right question at the right times,
then he would know.

If he listened then all would be right in the relationship.
That is of course as long as he never pushed us to do or be anything that we did not want to do or be….

And he just accepted what he got for all that grandness that he is offering up.

Now we live in a world where sugar babies, paid hook ups and lies are just a way of relating.

We live in this world where if a woman wants something at work that she pretty much can get it for the right price.
And smart, well educated, go getter women EVERY DAY pay these prices with “respectable” bosses and elite men in power to advance themselves.

How can this be?
How can this be a designer relationship that anyone is happy with?
Its merely based in the man getting a place to stick his junk occasionally and release somewhere outside of the palm of his hand or the toilet and in return for this the woman gets taken care of financially or gains promotions, business advances, networking deals, or simply a monthly payment and some gifts and travel.

Either way its what many relationships for both single and married people are like.

I know many very affluent people who have mistresses of this nature. And I know many married women as well as single women who are gaining power and success in business and finances this way.

And its not even looked down on.
Where I live in North Texas just outside of Dallas,
its almost assumed that if you are a woman in her 20’s or 30’s that you have at least one if not two or three sugar daddy’s supporting your lifestyle, schooling and goals.

It is the sin that is not spoken of,
but is expected if you had an open raw unfiltered conversation with almost any man who makes decent earnings and if you sat with any woman who was “dating.”

That’s why such websites such as whats your price, sugar daddy, seeking arrangements and others of this nature are growing at the levels that they are.

So the question comes,
“What is the turn on to this style of relationship?”

Because obviously it may appear empty of true connection, love, friendship and a desire to be long standing. It is simply based on two people using each other to meet their needs.

Or is it?

Just last night this very topic came up on a double date I was on with a good friend. And as we conversed about it, the statement came around that these sort of relationships may perhaps be great examples of people doing what they “should” be doing no matter the relationship.

In such relationships, people:

* ask for their needs to be met
* set boundaries and non-negotiables
* discuss what the relationship is and what is not
* communicate about what is working and what is not
* keep a certain level of detachment
* lean in and trust the other to meet the proposed agreement
* don’t try and fake who they are or what they are there for

Unlike today’s marriages and committed relationships where both parties typically:

* don’t talk about needs unless they are fighting about them
* don’t understand boundaries and the only non-negotiable that is ever discussed is cheating
* Assume that the other side knows what they want from the relationship and assume they know what their partner wants
* don’t communicate about issues until its too late and therapy is needed, resentment has happened, one or both parties are feeling abandoned, misunderstood
* Think that co-dependency is love
* Have trust issues and use guilt and shame to try and control the other, the relationship and events
* Fake who they are and what they want on the front side of a relationship to get the relationship committed, then end up faking their intimacies with their partner and not willing to be authentic or have their partner be authentic
* Give surface level connection all the while saying they desire depth

Sounds exciting huh?

Yet it’s the truth of relationship in today’s world.

Today’s relationships certainly have their challenges no matter what labels , guidelines they may have set for them.

At the of the day what I want to focus you on is authenticity.
A good relationship is NOT based on that want list that a woman has.

A good relationship is not based on financials and quantity of sex or how adventurous the sex is even.

A good relationship,
a turned on, supportive, loving relationship is based in truth on the list that people who entertain “paid” relationships set.

The most important one being COMMUNICATION.

Because communication,
no matter how difficult it may be,
is the foundation to everything else.
The communication however, needs to be REAL.
And it needs to come from a centered place of KNOWING THY SELF first.

This will provide a level of maturity,
understanding and presence that the majority of people never achieve in their relationships.

But when we offer this sort of authentic relating we can then feel into the who we are even more, grow and expand mentally, emotionally and allow our partners the same.
We limit our expectations.
We speak our needs.
We respect boundaries,
and we take responsibility for our happiness.

Here is the ground to create a successful relationship based in unconditional love and respect instead of ego and need.

How does your relationship ideas, goals and ways of relating line up?

Are you exploring authentic relating or something else?

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Message me for deet’s on creating an authentic relationship, no matter its current status TODAY.

#AWOMANLIKEYOU – I want that!

I am so effing hungry.
I want for so much.
My body desires to open.
To feel,
to have,
to be taken.
I long to be dominated and ravished.
To surrender.
To be FREE.
 
This is the desire of a turned on sensually confident woman.
 
Do not try and control me though.
Do not think you own me.
 
If you want me,
then have me.
 
JUST AS I AM.
 
Your desire is beautiful for me.
But your focus on creating me into something that I am not,
irritates my soul.
 
You claim that you want this sexual seductress,
but in your wanting you do not fathom what it will require from YOU.
 
You cannot have me sweet man.
And here is where your issue resides.
You will never contain that essence that you want so badly for.
You will never have me.
You must always be comfortable with letting me go.
 
I am wild and I am free.
I am independent even when you carry me.
I am passionate and powerful,
hungry and emotional.
You love my wild woman,
You crave to penetrate her so.
But in the enveloping,
you will loose yourself,
and if you allow this to happen,
you will loose me as well.
 
You see this woman that you desire…
she will only be with you,
if she wants you.
 
She will only remain,
if she is free to be herself.
She will only go deeper if she can trust that you can handle her fire,
her dance,
her love,
her passion and thirst for life.
 
She will play with many,
but hold out for only the few.
 
The few that are confident in themselves.
Expansive and strong.
Who want for her like she wants for life.
 
This confident seductress,
she is I my love,
but you can and never will have her.
 
Can you handle that knowledge my sweet?
Can you love and trust with the knowing that you will never contain that, that you desire to keep so close?
 
Can you muster up the courage my love to step further into who you truly are and witness all the depth of your soul,
unmasking your fears,
unraveling your truths,
and letting go of all that holds you back away from,
to feel you and her in totality?
 
Can you my love?
 
It will be required.
It will be sought after.
And for you to keep her,
you must do this at very least.
 
Many a warrior has walked on her grounds,
many a man who believed that he was King enough to hold her attention,
carry her heart,
open her soul,
and expand her sex.
 
Many have believed that they touched something special.
Many have thought that they captivated her.
But in truth,
it is not such.
It is but only a few.
 
Enjoy your dance my love.
Enjoy this dance while it is here.
Do not get caught up in the ideas and visions of owning her lands,
do not believe that she will employ you for more time then she feels fit,
the goddess on her knees before you,
with her intoxicating smile and scent,
her eye’s glimmering with fire,
her touch that ignites your core,
making you want to be a better man.
 
Yes that goddess will always adore you.
She will always appreciate you.
But the moment you reach out to hold on…
 
SHE IS GONE.
 
This is the dance of the of a turned on sensually confident woman.
 
A woman who KNOWS herself.
A woman who LOVES herself.
A woman who is OPEN.
A woman who is EMPOWERED.
 
The seductress you hunger for,
who makes you crave for more,
she is unattainable,
even if you bask in her love for a lifetime.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
This poem was inspired by all the men who have shared their desire to have me in some fashion,
or to find me within another woman some way.
 
All women are seductresses.
All women deserve a KING.
And to call out this empowered, turned on Queen,
YOU must be a fit KING.
 
To learn more about the tantric empowerment practices that I teach men and women so that they can live a true F-ck Yes! Life in all subject areas that they want, message me for deet’s on my 1:1 coaching today.

Why Do Some Men Come Back Around?

Sitting here eating breakfast and my phone goes off…
It’s a text message from a man I have known for over a decade now.
A man that makes my pussy throb at his freakin’ text no matter how bad my day is going or how disconnected I feel.
I can hear his voice right now as I sit here and type.
That low, sultry Matthew Mcconaughey voice of his.
That smile,
that sparkle in his smiling eye’s.
Yes just his words in this text bring back so many a feeling of the past.
His words ignite a strange hunger at my core.
And have me in a stir of wonder.
 
And yet…
 
Yet I know.
yet I have tasted of the offerings that he has tempted me with for the last decade.
And that YES that I have given to him so many a time in the past has only taught me to say NO.
 
So what is it about this man.
What is it about many men in my world,
throughout time and relationship that makes them come check in on me and consistently check to see if there is a door open for them to explore a second or third round of temptation.
Why do they find a need or desire to see if they can now capture what they so easily let go of back then?
 
Perhaps it is regret.
Perhaps they have grown up some and realized what was being offered back then,
the beauty of what could have been.
 
Over and over again I hear from the men of my past,
about their deep love for me,
their adoration,
and how they wish things had gone differently.
They ask for just a coffee date.
Just a glass of wine and simple conversation.
They want to rekindle the friendship.
the connection.
 
They want to know that I am okay and happy.
 
and yes, they are hopeful.
Hopeful that I am hungry.
Hopeful that I seeking.
That I am open to what possibilities are on the path as it merges but for this moment in time.
 
Again, and again I am at fault for exploring this merging path.
Because the reality is that the majority of men of my past are pretty amazing men. I adore and love them still and am in deep gratitude for the moments and experiences that we shared.
And I miss those moments sometimes.
I miss their uniqueness.
 
I am always hungry.
My heart desires for its rapture once again,
and so yes it is always seeking for that soul that will ignite it and open it up to that that it has experienced in the past.
I find myself also thinking about this running theme of my ex’s.
And how the one’s who truly captivated me and still hold a piece of me in some strange way many a year later ALWAYS choose to re-explore the waters of relationship with me.
 
Or at least let their love be expressed verbally here and there.
They want me to KNOW their heart.
 
And this is beautiful.
This is a beautiful side of the masculine.
Scary though.
Because each of these men wake up skeletons in the closet of my heart,
and make me sit at the brink of “What now?”
 
Testing each breath as we exchange a moment yet again.
And I lean in and learn.
 
But wonder.
 
I here in my head as I type this these words of a man that I love deeply and is one of these gentlemen of my past that touches base with me to share his heart every now and then.
 
I see him with his handsome smile, his rich brown eye’s looking at me and explaining to me that when a man goes that deep with a woman and he feels touched by her like that, that he will always touch base again and a again in hope that perhaps the timing is right now.
 
I hear the words of another man that holds my heart share with me that he now see’s his fault,
he wishes for an new opportunity,
but he know’s that my trust is broken,
what can he do to prove himself?
 
I feel the heart beat of my first love as he holds me firmly in a hug. I feel him not wanting to let go. As though it is that moment in our parting 25 years back. He looks at me with a glimmer in his Irish eye’s and smiles because he know’s it cannot ever be. But his love is felt, his desire as well.
 
So why?
 
What about a woman ignites a man to this level to pursue for years?
 
Ladies, what do you think about the men in your world that you dated years back and are still holding on? Still testing the waters of connecting a decade or more later?
 
Guys, why do you chase for a decade?
Why do you come back around every so often if you chose differently way back then.
 
What is it that makes a man want for a woman he did not embrace and hold dear when he had her?
 
Thoughts from this morning as I sit here receiving texts from past lovers, who had a chance, who had an opportunity to create something beautiful with me many a moon ago.
 
It’s a running theme in my relationship world.
How about you?
 
Love to hear your thoughts.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

This Is Why Your Woman Will Not Pursue You.

Can you imagine starving?
Can you imagine what it must be like to be so hungry and not have food available,
or to not be able to consume the food that is there close to you?
Now I have been hungry before,
there are actually many days that happen where I almost forget about eating. I get so caught up in what I am doing and who I am working with or enjoying,
that food does not cross my mind.
My body though is still hungry.
I might occasionally feel the pains and grumblings of my hunger,
but unless I focus in on it, I can resist it and carry on about what I am doing.
Over time though, my blood sugar get’s low.
My head starts to pound.
I get moody, feel light headed and tired.
I can’t keep focused.
And funny enough, in moments like this, the last thing on my mind is eating.
Instead I wonder about, wondering what’s wrong with me?
Because in the not eating, I forget about food.
 
It never fails though in these moments.
Someone comes along, with something that awakens me to my hunger.
 
I am sure you have had this experience.
You are hungry.
You get side tracked.
You get more hungry.
You ignore the hunger pain.
You dull your senses.
You feel off.
AND THEN……
you smell a burger and fries.
 
Yes, it’s that moment.
You can maybe even smell that burger and fries right now.
You pass that restaurant and you smell it.
 
YUM!!!!!
Your body ignites.
Your stomach yells at you.
Your gut gurgles and says, STOP.
EAT.
 
Okay,
so you can understand this right?
 
Now imagine these two scenarios.
 
1) You are hungry like this. Starving. You catch a whiff of something yummy. Someone walks by you with that burger or steak. You follow them. You smell its juiciness. You can taste it almost. You are so hungry all you desire is a bite. You wish to just taste it. And they look at you and say, “No – my food!”
What are you feeling? What do you do?
 
2) You are hungry like this. Starving. You smell that burger and you decide to run through the drive trough. You order it plus the fries and a soda. You inhale it without thought because of your level of hunger. It’s a piss poor quality burger. It lands in your gut like cement. You feel sick. You feel even worse than before you ate it. You know how bad it was for you and you start to overthink your haste. Now you are upset with yourself for doing what you know you should not have done. You should have waited and taken better care of yourself but the hunger was REAL. What are you feeling? What do you do?
 
In either of these situations,
you are not being fed.
You are not being fulfilled.
There is no real satisfaction.
You just get frustrated.
Irritated.
And want for more, but find yourself KNOWING that what you want is not what you got.
 
Many people when they make poor food choices that make them feel yucky, commit in that moment to not do it again. Or at least not do it to soon again.
 
Many people who are hungry like this, do not choose then to hunt down all the fast food that makes them feel less than good.
 
Many people when they see a link to something causing them issues, choose to either avoid it, or limit their exposure to it.
 
Right?
That seems normal and within logical reason, wouldn’t you agree?
 
Well, here is the thing love.
This tale of starving. Of fast food.
It is actually not about food at all.
It is about satisfaction. Desire. or lack there of.
It is about STARVING.
 
But what I speak of here is the starving of good sex.
The starving of gourmet fulfillment.
I speak here what almost every woman would agree upon if they were raw and real about it.
 
That they are STARVING.
Hungry for something that they hardly get.
 
Can you imagine that 75-80% of the time that you have sex that you do not feel good from it?
That you actually feel yucky.
 
Can you imagine that you feel 75-80% of the time like it was a waist of time, energy and you feel disconnected and more empty then before you went into the situation?
 
Can you imagine that 75-80% of the time that you had sex that you did not enjoy it, have an orgasm?
 
All of this and more is accurate when we truly look into female sexual experience.
 
Gentlemen,
You get fed every time you eat.
You eat what you want and you like it most of the time, because shiz,
it’s food and who does not like food.
 
Well us ladies,
75-80% of the time we eat,
we feel sick from it. And we are not really eating,
we are just getting that whiff of the food.
So who wants to sit in their hunger and just catch a whiff at best 75-80% of the time?
 
Who in their right mind would desire,
pursue, look for or even be excited in the least to have that experience?
 
Not too many people I am guessing.
Yet, our partners ( and I say this as a woman who has had a partner want me to desire just this that I speak on plus the hundreds of couple’s that I have worked with over time who have the male partner wanting to be pursued, desired and frustrated with the woman on not doing so)….
 
Our partners, want us to want this for ourselves.
And they wonder why…
why we women shut down.
Why the sex turns from hot to Anniversary, birthday and Christmas sex.
They wonder what is wrong with their female partner to not want such a wonderful, connective, fulfilling thing such as sexual intimacy.
 
And I tell you in my rawest truth here,
THIS IS ONE MAJOR CONTRIBUTING FACTOR.
 
So what is the answer?
How can you fix her issues?
How can you make sure that she get’s fed?
 
 
These are the questions that are asked in couple-hood.
 
First, it is a two way street.
Both parties need to work on it individually and together, communication MUST happen. Things must change in order to get the results desired.
 
Second, You cannot fix her. She is not broken. And she is not a toy for your fixing Mr. Fix It. So effing STOP! You can however become a better lover. You can gain presence, compassion. You can inquire with skill. You can slow the F-ck down. You can actually want her to enjoy and there fore not get irritated and bored with the time she needs to take. You can do your own internal work, emotionally and mentally.
 
Third, you can do the above two.
And of course, if you need more help.
You still don’t know what to do,
to change.
You can seek outside help.
Like mine, ( Yes my shameless plug there…. but it’s true, you have been doing what you have been doing and you have been blind to what is happening until this moment or you have been really good at ignoring it all and hoping that it would just fix itself. That has not worked though. So… insert my shameless plug again please.)
 
And here are the facts,
sex is important. No matter how we try to discredit it.
Sex and money are the two major factors in relationship breakup and happiness.
 
Many people think they have a successful relationship because they look at the longevity of that relationship. The years spent together.
 
However, the truth is that relationship success is not about the years together,
it’s about the joy. The happiness. The over all feeling that the relationship leaves you with.
 
And most relationships under this mindset of success are far from successful.
 
So I ask you today,
are you content having and providing a fast food sex life at best to your relationship? The person you love and cherish?
 
Or is it time that you discover how to truly feed her?
 
Yes the gourmet variety.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
‘Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for deet’s on my 1:1 global coaching opportunities and more.
 
You deserve a deeply connective, turned on bedroom life and more.

Forced Consent is Not Authentic Consent.

You can’t touch this….
Touch.
Hands on attention.
Something that is so needed,
so human, so intimate and connective.
 
Yes touch is something beautiful.
Unless it is not wanted.
Unless it is given when it is not appropriate.
Unless it is out of one’s boundaries or it is forced upon someone.
 
And it is this final statement that I want to address today.
As a woman who has experienced her fair share of trauma,
and speak about the healing process,
the psychological issue around and how to best prevent further trauma in life,
It has come to my attention over the last week the power of touch, yet again.
 
The same touch that can show love can also trigger fear.
Our hands and fingers can open in a hug and give one with deep care and no desire to harm another,
these same hands and fingers can penetrate another person with fear and trigger old wounds as well as cause new ones with the same action of a hug.
 
How can that be?
How is it possible?
Does that mean that we should just not touch anyone?
Yet here we are a touch deprived society.
Hungry for touch and the fact that we are so deprived has us uncertain as to what is healthy and what is not,
because we are deprived and not taught proper respect and boundaries,
permissions and body language signs,
because we want what we want and tend to overlook another person’s feelings or obvious gestures of not wanting to be touched,
we push ourselves onto others with great disregard to what we may actually be triggering in them or re-anchoring from a past wound.
 
Touch can be healing,
but it can also be harming.
 
Outside of the harmful touch of physical abuse which is what you may think when you read the words of touch can be harmful,
it can still be harmful with a loving, caring, even playful touch.
 
I will bring to the attention what our society is being taught.
 
Recently in America we have dealt with the conversation of touch with our very president being captured stating:
 
“Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”
 
This is an extreme statement about touch.
About taking what you want with disregard to another human being. And I see the fall out of this statement in many relationship scenarios from parenting to lovers,
from friends to colleagues.
 
Every time we ask our child for a hug or a kiss and they say “no” and we respond with,
“Come on, mommy/daddy need’s a hug.”
” Give me hug and then you can go.”
“I will give you this if you give me a hug or a kiss.”
 
We are disrespecting our child’s space and answer.
We are teaching our child that it is okay to ignore a “no” and to even try and bribe, guilt or push further for what you want with total disrespect to another’s desire, boundary or need.
 
This then translates to adults who believe that it is okay to push for what they want with a spouse or partner.
 
It translates to adults who do not respect the space, time or feelings of another in any relationship situation.
 
It translates to adults who do not take responsibility for their actions, as they feel that they are doing what they are doing out of a “good” place or a “just or deserving” place, as though they have the right when in fact they do not,
and that no matter how good or right our actions may be,
if they are harming toward another’s boundaries or desires then we need to pause and respect what we are being told or what we are witnessing in energy,
body language coming from another person.
 
Touch.
It is so very powerful.
And our boundaries around it can ebb and flow within any relationship and moment by moment in our lives.
A touch that felt good yesterday may very well close us down to connection the next.
 
And the thing to remember about touch is that it extends past the physical.
 
Touch is about how we touch another person.
 
We can touch another person with our physical body,
we can touch them with our words,
we can touch them with the look from our eye’s,
the expression on our face.
We touch other’s all the time.
How you touch them is the question that I encourage you to review in your life today?
 
Are you honoring and respectful?
Do you listen to their body language as well as their words?
Can you hear their truth and accept it just as that,
without needing approval from them or needing a reason as to why they think, feel or need what they need?
 
Or are you operating from a place of self-centeredness?
A place of need and hunger?
 
When you are in relationship with anyone,
no matter the intimacy level or actual label on the relationship,
do you give…
do you touch…
do you speak…
do you act…
out of the place of unconditional respect and love or are you wanting something and wanting to feel a certain way,
with the belief that if this other person “supports” (gives) you what you are wanting by allowing you to act, speak, give, touch, etc… the way that you deem good in that moment,
that this is what “should” happen and it is “okay” because that is just the way that you want it to be?
 
We are all guilty of ignoring another and insisting that they feel or think a way that we want them too instead of how they may actually be feeling or thinking.
 
We are all guilty of wanting something from another at times.
We are all guilty of missing ques in body language or tones, even not hearing words fully and crossing over boundaries.
We are all guilty of being self-centered.
 
No one wants to feel rejected.
No one wants to feel like they have hurt someone that they care for.
 
The reality is that when in relationship,
we will hurt those we care for.
We will not always be present with them.
And we will have hidden expectations if nothing else that we are not aware of that may cause issues along the path.
 
But if we want to act out of love,
if we want to be emotionally mature,
and trustworthy,
if we want to expand and deepen a relationship,
then each of us MUST take responsibility for how we choose to touch those around us.
 
With our words.
With our physical bodies.
With our looks.
With our expectations.
And assumptions.
 
And we must learn to respect the “No” without question of why.
 
Because no one owes you an explanation of why they are feeling any way,
just like you do not owe anyone an explanation as to why you think or feel any particular way either.
 
But to push your will on another,
is a breaking of truth,
it is dishonoring to the relationship and to both parties in relationship,
and it shows the desperation of one’s need and lack of actual care for another.
Making it detrimental to the relationship.
 
Pay attention to what you are seeing,
to what you feel coming from another person,
not not what you want to feel or see.
 
Realize that your truth about any particular thing may not be the same as another’s and if you are interacting with another person you NEED their consent to involve them.
 
How are you toughing those in your life today?
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.

Stop Loosing Yourself In The Goodbye Beautiful.

Doesn’t F-cking Matter!
People say goodbye all the time, in so many ways.
People turn away from you,
some you feel,
some you don’t notice.

But at the end of the day,
It doesn’t f-cking matter either way.

They came into your life for a reason.
This you can be sure

How long someone hangs with you baby,
Well that is upto your spiritual contract with them.
What do I mean by that?

What kind of crazy new age concept is a spiritual contract anyway?

In this instance I am referring to the lessons you gain from the relationship. And EVERY relationship teaches us something.

Its important to realize that we are in relationship WITH EVERYTHING and EVERYONE in our lives too.
So get right with that RIGHT NOW gorgeous.

Those short meetups, hook ups, chatting and getting no where with people that pop through your life and wonder WTF was that about?
Was there to present some lesson or deeper understanding into your life,
Into who you are,
And how you are VIBING.

And when they leave.
You can say it doesn’t matter anyway.
And it doesn’t!

As long as you got from them what you were meant to.

Were you present enough in that relationship,
No matter how short lived it was or not,
No matter the drama,
The trauma,
The heartbreak.

Did you get your lesson beautiful?
Did you?

Cuz if you chose to get caught up in the ego of what happened,
and you missed the lesson,
Then baby,
You are going to have to rinse and repeat.

And that’s why you run into the same people over and over again just with a different face,
Different story.

And when you get caught up in the ego of the loss,
You loose something much more significant and valuable then that relationship.
You loose a piece of you.
When you sit a stare at the people who are unliking or unfollowing you on social media,
When you pay more attention to who is not paying attention to you,
When you wait for the lack of response from that person you went out on a date with,
Or hooked up with,
When you get caught up in the certainly that so and so will apologize or come back,
When you wait….

You loose yourself.
And at the end of your days beautiful,
It doesn’t f-cking matter anyway.

Their goodbye.
Thier shut down.
Thier blindness.
Thier disconnect.

None of it matters.
And you deserve so much better.
But here is the thing,
YOU have to allow yourself to have better.
YOU have to stop making yourself available for that shiz.
YOU have to stop resisting your beauty,
Your greatness,
Your value.
And you have to get THAT lesson.

Because baby,
The best is yet to come.

It is!
You just have to change what your looking for.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.

MY INTIMACY SHARE ON CURRENT FAMILY LIFE BLESSINGS – FROM A MOTHERS HEART- WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

MY INTIMACY SHARE ON CURRENT FAMILY LIFE BLESSINGS- FROM A MOTHERS HEART – WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

Feeling in love this morning as I get ready for the day and the next two weeks of adventure. I am in gratitude for the lessons and experiences of my past,

as without them I would not appreciate that which is with me today in my relationships, lifestyle, and being. It is so obvious to me how easy it is to take things for granted until we are faced with the not having them and sometimes we have to go through great suffering to appreciate that which our heart desires.

The simple little things mean so much.
It’s the smile from your child when they see you walk in the door.
It’s the warm embrace from your partner for no reason.
It’s the kind acts of service, no matter how small that show such care.
It’s the time taken for a conversation without attention to some device.
It’s the snuggling before bed or the good morning kiss.

When Levi makes me breakfast unexpectedly my heart smiles and I feel so blessed.

Every day when Zach chooses to stop in and chat with me before going home, I feel blessed.

When Sam comes and shares her awe over Dameion’s newest milestones or just sits and has a beautiful deep conversation with me about women-hood, I feel blessed.

When Rebekah comes in and shares her latest mommy experience or challenge, or when she just walks up to me and gives me a big hug and say, “I love you., ” I feel blessed.

When Jules asks to go out with me for whatever reason but I can tell she actually needs to just have a moment with mom to share something happening and is uncertain how else to ask for it, I feel blessed.

When Zak Miller, rounds the corner in my house and walks over to me and gives me a big hug before anything else or sits and talks from his beautiful heart, I feel blessed.

When Eniqueo and I tease each other and we laugh, or we compete in love over a good game of darts, I feel blessed.

When Gabe, wakes up in the morning and snuggles next to me and says, “I want you to be my snuggle buddy.” or rushes to help me do something without being asked, I feel blessed.

When Rowan grabs me and hugs so tight I can barely breathe and claims me all for himself, ” My mommy!” or takes my hand and asks me to read him a story and snuggle, I feel blessed.

When Kia, Andrew and J storm in my home and run to me with smiles and big hugs, I feel blessed.

When Dameion looks with his big eye’s up at me while I am feeding him his bottle and smiles while slurping back his milk, I feel blessed.

When Steve stops everything he is doing because he noticed that something was not right with me without me saying anything and gives me a hug or when he does all the little things that are actually big things to take things off my table, I feel blessed.

When I catch that mental snapshot of a moment that is awe inspiring of my family connecting and loving, laughing and being them, I feel blessed.

My life is so crazy busy.
My life has so many beautiful souls,
these that I shared a fragment of what I am blessed by and so many other dear friends and sister/brother souls who just light up my world with them just being in it and choosing to share pieces of their life with me.

It is mornings like this morning,
that I am reminded that life has not always been like this.
Life has always been full,
and there is always drama.
But not that very long ago,
my children wanted to be around me but the energy in our home was not supportive.
The laughter and joy,
the deep connective moments,
the conversations,
the family enviroment,
the thought to another,
the connection between myself and my partner,
the love that I so badly wanted to feel,
it was not there.

It was vacant.
And my heart hurt because of it.
My children suffered for the lack of it.
And my lesson is to never settle for so little of such a valuable thing again.

One of the biggest blessing that our lives can have is the blessing of connection.

The blessing that people,
the people that we cherish want to be with us,
JUST BECAUSE.

From my blessed mama heart to yours,
appreciate your blessings and put your focus on them.
They are what make life so beautiful.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Been thinking about your happiness and success?
Wanting to SAY YES! To Yourself?
Let’s Make it happen beautiful in work, love and life.
Accepting 1:1 applications to work with me for a limited time. 

“YOU DISGUST ME!”- WHY THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW MY GREATNESS!

 
So effing frustrated with our victim minded world that we have created!
 
Many of today’s humans could not make it in the world just 30 years ago.
 
We have created a society that is weak and scared of each other.
We have created a people that refuses to take responsibility for their thoughts, feelings or actions.
We have created a society that believes that shame is how you heal the world, how you make things right and that it is their DUTY to do just such.
 
We have created a world where confrontation is a bad thing that should be avoided at all cost and any one who stands up and speaks their truth that may not align 100% to another’s should brace themselves for the impact of how bad they are for stating it or setting a boundary.
 
Didn’t they understand their truth, their ideas, their opinions, their work, their art, their education, their pictures were offensive and shameful and not okay to have in this world?
 
Geeze what is wrong with them for sharing any of their stuff?
They should take into account what someone else that they don’t know might be feeling or how looking at whatever it is might make that other person think, because don’t you know YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE OF YOUR THOUGHTS OR FEELING everyone else is responsible for them, not you.
 
And because you posted it on social media – then you FORCED them to look.
 
This particular man friended me awhile back, ( see image with post)
he follows other sex and relationship coaches, practitioners and tantra educators that speak of openness, finding your orgasm and living in a sex positive world, yet he has decided to report some of my pictures because he claims that they are offensive and nasty…😱
 
Acting as though I have explicit sex pictures on my facebook for all too see…🤣🤣🤣
 
The reason I have chosen to share this with every one is simple,
this kind of attitude is becoming more of a norm.
 
The other day a man went off on my wall here under a musing I did on boundaries and how important it is to have healthy one’s in all areas of our lives, he decided that I was a tantric prostitute who was manipulating men by wearing a long white vintage dress into giving me their money… he insisted that I was being nasty as well in my flaunting of myself as he called it.
 
This sort of attitude that I see rising up more and more is sad.
It is an attitude of fear and separation with zero personal responsibility for our internal worlds.
 
There is so much pain in our world.
SO much pain in the people’s hearts.
And we are being blinded by it.
It forms in anger, disgust, rage, blame and shame toward others.
And it is because somewhere along the line we stopped teaching personal responsibility.
We started making the least mature people in the world the boss of everyone.
 
Competition these days is evil.
You cannot have a winner and a looser because it is hurtful to someone’s feelings.
You cannot have a debate and agree to disagree, because it may hurt someones feelings.
You cannot have certain beliefs, ideas, or experiences and talk about them because someone that may be passing by may hear and be upset by the sharing between two friends.
You are damned if you look, talk, believe or act this way or that way and you are damned if you don’t as well.
 
The ONLY THING that matters is that YOU make sure NOT TO OFFEND any other human being on this planet with your disgusting existence.
 
That is unless you are among the emotionally immature who feel it is socially acceptable to mock, blame, shame and kick others from behind their computer and phone screens about sharing what they are not comfortable with. That is JUST FINE – NO HARM, NO FOUL there.🤔
 
And yet,
we want to watch other’s who are living out loud and we can get caught up in their saga’s, drama’s and ways of living and expressing.
We flock to things that are not average.
We crave connection more then every.
We feel so isolated and misunderstood,
road rage and depression is normal,
everyone is on some prescription drug trying to mask their pain and disconnect.
 
Those who shame and blame the most hold the biggest subscriptions to porn hub and make the most aggressive private messages. On one side they condemn and on the other they explicitly expect.
 
And what does any of this truly mean at the end of the day?
 
It means that our world has progressed no further then the dark ages on this subject.
 
It means that if this were 2000+ years ago the one’s throwing the stones to kill the prostitute are the same one’s who were bedding her in the stable just 15 minutes prior.
 
It means that we still as a mass society value our suffering more then our worth.
 
It means that for those of us who choose to walk on the road less traveled and take the heat,
 
Those of us who are the 1% who will not cower to this crazy victim-hood mentality of settling for less than what we are worth in this life,
who believe in ourselves and whom want to be the light.
 
WE HOLD THE OPPORTUNITY TO GREATNESS.
 
The sheeple remain blind by fear mongering and separation.
 
But YOU are not a sheeple…. ( well at least I pray that if you follow me that you are not a sheeple and if you are well then please take this post as my personal invite for you to uninvite yourself out of my online community and tribe).
 
I BELIEVE IN YOU!
 
I choose to focus on WORTHINESS and that God does not create unworthy things.
 
I want you to know that if you are walking on this road less traveled with me that you are and EAGLE.
 
And you are not walking.
You are flying BABY!
You have wings.
And you have GREATNESS inside of you.
 
Never let those who are blinded by their own darkness cast your light out.
 
And this world,
this world is what you make of it.
Is what you choose to focus on,
so choose to not fear this blind victim-hood mentality of the weak minded and disconnected,
 
Instead,
Live Out Loud, Unapologetic and FREE!
 
💃💃💃 And don’t let my white vintage dress manipulate you too much…lol 🤣🤣🤣
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”