Men Who Can’t Lead and Women Who Can’t Submit

GIVE ME YOUR POWER.
I AM THE MAN AND WHAT I SAY GOES.
 
Another laughable topic of today’s time.
The man who acts like this and believes that he is worthy of respect,
worthy of being followed is a MOFO FOOL.
 
I was speaking with a couple of my female clients over the last few weeks about this topic.
 
The topic of LETTING YOUR MAN LEAD,
and actually SUBMITTING ( following) his lead.
 
It’s hard in today’s time to follow our men,
am I right ladies?
 
Multiple things are at play.
 
First being that we woman have been scorned and hurt so much,
our trust has been breached so damn much that we just are no longer willing to keep opening up our hearts and lives to men who do not have our own best interest in mind.
 
And we simply have come to terms with the fact that we are strong AF and don’t really need a man.
 
ESPECIALLY, if he is just going to use us and toss away or lie to us.
 
For us women, we know we can get the sex we may want pretty easily, granted we get that it won’t be as deep or intimate as we may hunger for,
but it still can be damn good and 80% of our sexual needs met.
And when we are in control of it, then we can get it with limited to no emotional damage.
As for needing a man for money…
yeah well #1, most women today pride themselves in making good money and not needing a man to take care of them that way, we don’t want to owe any man anything so that he can hold it over our head and demand from us what we don’t trust to give or feel like giving.
#2, those who do choose to let men finance them typically have figured out how to be the puppeteers of the men by using sex to get what they want and they have no respect or loyalty to the dude, they just look at it as though its commerce and the guy is damn lucky to be getting it at whatever cost it is.
#3, those who are “in a committed relationship and with kids,” well they bounce between heart and fear of messing up their babies lives with a separation so plot for empty nest times and just put their heads down and wait.
 
The second biggest reason we women can’t submit to men of today is that men don’t have a clue what leadership is in relationship.
 
I tell men all the time that they need to led and they respond back with,
 
” I try but she won’t let me.”
” I don’t know how to do that.”
“I do lead, I am the man and she knows it.”
 
The first statement here is two sided,
men you need to be a man that is worthy of be followed first. That means you need to know yourself,
trust yourself,
be capable of making decisions,
and make consistently good choices.
It means that you need to be a man of your word.
It means that you need to be compassionate and understanding.
It means that you need to take responsibility for your wrongs.
It means that you need to KNOW that you are not always right and that’s okay.
It means that you need to have PURPOSE outside of your woman, money, playtime or even work. ( What is your life mission statement men?)
 
But ladies,
we have to learn how to soften ourselves and offer our men an opportunity to do all these things too. We can’t run around shooting them in the knee over everything and getting pissed that they are trying.
 
We have to open up our hearts just a bit and give them an opportunity to touch them with their desire, love and ideas.
 
We have to drop the tough cookie roles and lean in and let our men practice being a gentlemen.
 
We have to allow and even ask for our needs to be met.
We have to stop telling men what we think they should hear and instead speak our integrity to them, tell them the truth, but tell them in compassion.
 
Ladies we have to WANT to attract a better quality man into our lives and know we are worthy of it.
 
The second statement above,
well guys re-read what I just wrote there!
 
Got it?
Got it?
 
I sure AF hope so.
 
And now the third statement above.
 
“I do lead, I am the man and she knows it.”
 
This is NOT leadership.
This is control.
This will not gain you respect, loyalty or love.
And a strong, confident, intelligent woman will NEVER desire this sort of man.
 
We don’t want to babysit our men.
We don’t want to raise you, that was your mama’s job.
But we sure AF don’t want to be owned by you either.
 
This sort of attitude just show’s how damn insecure you are.
How much you NEED someone else to bow before you to make you feel worthy, strong, powerful.
 
This is not real leadership or even real power.
 
This is weakness and ego.
And the women of today can smell this shiz a mile away.
 
The issue with today’s relationships….
with today’s men and women…
 
Is simple.
 
Men have not properly been taught how to be respectful,
men have not been taught how to know their own worth,
they have not been taught how to love, self or other.
Men have no clue what leadership is.
Men have no idea about life purpose.
And most of you men out there DO NOT KNOW WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
 
Lost sheep in a big world where you were never initiated into your man-hood.
 
Instead were told to take, to belittle, to guilt, to retract your love, to be in ego, to play games and that women were not to be trusted.
 
The masculine is lost.
But so is the feminine.
 
Ladies, its time for us to love our men who are trying.
Show appreciation for the men who work at being gentlemen.
Don’t fight them,
but instead support them.
Don’t instantly jump to the conclusion that all men are trying to hurt us, use us or want something from us.
Ladies, receive the compliment with a THANK YOU.
Let him hold your door open.
Ask a man for help in putting a case of water in your grocery store cart.
Smile at a random stranger.
 
By us women knowing our worth and loving ourselves,
by us women speaking our truth in compassion instead of a power struggle,
we will teach the men.
 
And men GROW THE F-ck UP!
And stop making excuses.
Figure out WHO YOU ARE.
 
Every woman LOVES and DESIRES a man on fire,
who has purpose, confidence and passion for his life and KNOWS himself.
 
This is a man who can LEAD the strongest of women.
 
As Always.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to level up your relationship and learn how to be a leader as a man? Message me for deet’s on my global private coaching today.
 
Today’s musing inspired by
 
Michael Baisden Live

WHY I DO SEX DAILY.

WHY I DO SEX DAILY….
 
I have sex almost daily.
It’s just my THING.
I do sex daily yes because I love sex,
but more so for what sex gives me.
And I am not referring to the mind blowing orgasms that only happen here and there.
 
Okay so it’s truth time folks,
yes ME,
the sex expert and coach that helps thousands of people have better and more sex DOES NOT have mind blowing, earth shaking orgasm daily.
Actually most days, its pretty meh…
The sex is just normal,
and even boring at times.
But I still do sex almost daily,
and some days if the opportunity presents itself two or three times.
 
Just a week ago I spent about 7 hours out of 24 having sex.
Now that was yummy.
But why was it yummy?
Why did I want to have 7 hours of sex?
or have it daily, especially if I am not having mind blowing sex or even an orgasm most of the time?
 
The simple truth is that SEX ignites my creative juices.
Sex allows me a medative state, no matter the outcome to work on embodying myself,
sex allows me practice time to get out of my head and FEEL myself at a deep level.
I get to practice letting go,
I get to practice vulnerability,
I get to practice surrender,
I get to see where I am challenged and through the rhythm of my sex,
the consistent allowance of letting myself feel and stepping away from the idea of cumming,
but just BEING instead,
I get to connect to my CORE and thus feel my partner at a deeper level.
 
I have discovered through the years,
that our SEX is linked to so many things.
Self-confidence,
self-love,
boundaries,
ability to receive and give,
thinking patterns,
fear,
DESIRE,
passion,
VITALITY,
a feeling of freedom,
a feeling of peace,
centeredness,
physical well-being,
mental well-being,
and expanded spiritual depth.
 
To just name a few.
Yet we are taught to shame our sex,
to hide from it,
to ignore it,
to STARVE IT.
We are taught that our sex is evil.
And that it should only be used to make babies, or relieve stress QUICKLY.
 
And this way of thinking about our sex,
has us shut down,
fearful,
and not having sex.
It has us feeling disconnected from life, ourselves and the people we love.
It has us feeling insecure and angry,
depressed and lost.
And it has us trying to achieve what we have a void in through any means possible.
It has us acting out and traumatizing ourselves and others.
 
Instead of loving ourselves,
being responsible,
compassionate,
mature people,
we are like caged, starving, beaten wild animals.
This is what our world has become when we DO SEX.
And it’s all because we have such a limited, repressed view and understanding of this beautiful gift from God.
 
Sex and finances are the top two reasons marriages break up.
Sex actually out weights money,
because when the sex is crap,
when the sex is disconnected and toxic,
when sex is just about the get off,
then you have a partner being used and abused.
You have trauma setting in and the relationship is TOXIC.
No amount of money can heal that.
That is all about embodiment.
That is all about connection.
 
And you can ONLY CONNECT to your partner if you know how to connect to yourself first.
 
THAT IS WHY I DO SEX DAILY.
 
The consistent practice of leaning more into ME.
 
How does your sex feel to you?
Connected and deep?
Expansive and full?
or shallow, empty and about the release?
 
Want to learn how you have beautiful sexing all the time and access these states of peace, joy and connection.
Enjoy intimacy no matter what is going on in your life?
Reach out to me for information on my 1:1 coaching available globally today.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Are Your Relationship Idea’s Making You A Prostitute?

Every woman wants a guy to have a rockin’ resume!

I mean all of us want that night in shining armor.
We want him to be tall, dark and handsome.
We want him to be rich.
We want him to be generous and compassionate.
We want him to be romantic and a good listener.
We want him to be world traveled.
We want him to be intelligent.
We want him to love our bodies as they are.
We want him to love our minds and hearts more.
We want him to just get us.
We want him to be passionate and playful.
We want him to be confident.
We want him to act like a grown up and take care of his responsibilities.
We want him to do everything right in the bedroom.
We want him to be a good kisser.
We want him to appreciate everything that we do.
We want him to respect us.
We want him to worship us.
We want him to be everything that we want him to be and just get it without us ever having to tell him what we want.

I mean if he just paid attention and was present,
if he inquired and asked the right question at the right times,
then he would know.

If he listened then all would be right in the relationship.
That is of course as long as he never pushed us to do or be anything that we did not want to do or be….

And he just accepted what he got for all that grandness that he is offering up.

Now we live in a world where sugar babies, paid hook ups and lies are just a way of relating.

We live in this world where if a woman wants something at work that she pretty much can get it for the right price.
And smart, well educated, go getter women EVERY DAY pay these prices with “respectable” bosses and elite men in power to advance themselves.

How can this be?
How can this be a designer relationship that anyone is happy with?
Its merely based in the man getting a place to stick his junk occasionally and release somewhere outside of the palm of his hand or the toilet and in return for this the woman gets taken care of financially or gains promotions, business advances, networking deals, or simply a monthly payment and some gifts and travel.

Either way its what many relationships for both single and married people are like.

I know many very affluent people who have mistresses of this nature. And I know many married women as well as single women who are gaining power and success in business and finances this way.

And its not even looked down on.
Where I live in North Texas just outside of Dallas,
its almost assumed that if you are a woman in her 20’s or 30’s that you have at least one if not two or three sugar daddy’s supporting your lifestyle, schooling and goals.

It is the sin that is not spoken of,
but is expected if you had an open raw unfiltered conversation with almost any man who makes decent earnings and if you sat with any woman who was “dating.”

That’s why such websites such as whats your price, sugar daddy, seeking arrangements and others of this nature are growing at the levels that they are.

So the question comes,
“What is the turn on to this style of relationship?”

Because obviously it may appear empty of true connection, love, friendship and a desire to be long standing. It is simply based on two people using each other to meet their needs.

Or is it?

Just last night this very topic came up on a double date I was on with a good friend. And as we conversed about it, the statement came around that these sort of relationships may perhaps be great examples of people doing what they “should” be doing no matter the relationship.

In such relationships, people:

* ask for their needs to be met
* set boundaries and non-negotiables
* discuss what the relationship is and what is not
* communicate about what is working and what is not
* keep a certain level of detachment
* lean in and trust the other to meet the proposed agreement
* don’t try and fake who they are or what they are there for

Unlike today’s marriages and committed relationships where both parties typically:

* don’t talk about needs unless they are fighting about them
* don’t understand boundaries and the only non-negotiable that is ever discussed is cheating
* Assume that the other side knows what they want from the relationship and assume they know what their partner wants
* don’t communicate about issues until its too late and therapy is needed, resentment has happened, one or both parties are feeling abandoned, misunderstood
* Think that co-dependency is love
* Have trust issues and use guilt and shame to try and control the other, the relationship and events
* Fake who they are and what they want on the front side of a relationship to get the relationship committed, then end up faking their intimacies with their partner and not willing to be authentic or have their partner be authentic
* Give surface level connection all the while saying they desire depth

Sounds exciting huh?

Yet it’s the truth of relationship in today’s world.

Today’s relationships certainly have their challenges no matter what labels , guidelines they may have set for them.

At the of the day what I want to focus you on is authenticity.
A good relationship is NOT based on that want list that a woman has.

A good relationship is not based on financials and quantity of sex or how adventurous the sex is even.

A good relationship,
a turned on, supportive, loving relationship is based in truth on the list that people who entertain “paid” relationships set.

The most important one being COMMUNICATION.

Because communication,
no matter how difficult it may be,
is the foundation to everything else.
The communication however, needs to be REAL.
And it needs to come from a centered place of KNOWING THY SELF first.

This will provide a level of maturity,
understanding and presence that the majority of people never achieve in their relationships.

But when we offer this sort of authentic relating we can then feel into the who we are even more, grow and expand mentally, emotionally and allow our partners the same.
We limit our expectations.
We speak our needs.
We respect boundaries,
and we take responsibility for our happiness.

Here is the ground to create a successful relationship based in unconditional love and respect instead of ego and need.

How does your relationship ideas, goals and ways of relating line up?

Are you exploring authentic relating or something else?

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Message me for deet’s on creating an authentic relationship, no matter its current status TODAY.

STOP BEING A YES WHORE.

[jwplayer mediaid=”10519″]

STOP BEING A YES WHORE.

Wow! Kendal that is a harsh statement for a Friday morning.

What do you mean by, “Yes Whore?”

You are guilty beautiful of doing just this.
I am guilty too.
There is not a soul on this planet that has not fallen into the illusion of being a yes whore and believing that it is the road to our happiness.

Every time you say YES to someone and you actually mean NO, you are in an essence whoring yourself out and dishonoring self and the relationship that you are YESSING all over.

Every time that inauthentic YES pops out of your mouth and you find yourself swallowing your own needs, desires, ideas, and value because you feel that you “should” do this or that to be a nice person, to be helpful, to offer support, to show you love, etc. etc.

You sabotage yourself!
You sabotage the relationship.
And you loose respect.

I have been in the business of relationship coaching in one facet or another for two decades now and the one thing that I hear repeatedly is, ” I can’t say no, that would be mean.”

“He is my husband… I love him, I can’t say no.”
“She is so sweet and working so hard, she needs this/needs me… I can’t say no.”
“They are really struggling right now, I can’t say no.”
“They need me.”
“I don’t know how I am going to do it but I can’t say no.”

And following these wonderful words of what seem’s like love and support come…

” I am so exhausted, I just don’t have anything left to give, why can’t they/he/she see that?”

“I just feel like a all people ever want me for is ___________________.”

“You know, I have had it… I have been busting myself open here, doing everything I can, to show how much I care and I ask for one small thing and get told no after everything that I have done.”

“Doesn’t he/she see that I really don’t want to do that/feel like it?

“I would be all alone if I said what I really want or need.”

These and so many other things in so many subjects of our lives.

Just think about all the moments that you actually wanted to respond with NO but opted to say yes because you did not want to hurt the relationship, the other persons feelings or damage your value in the relationship.

Think of all those moments that if you get real with yourself you answered YES because you were answering out of fear and/or lack of self-worth.

Well you see beautiful,
these are the times that you were whoring yourself out.

There is no honor or respect in being out of integrity and not being honest with your answer.

You answered YES in exchange for something that you wanted or needed. You put little value on what is so precious and worth so much in hopes that you could,
if but only for a short time,
buy someones love, time, appreciation,
so that you would feel good.

But the funny thing is,
much like a whore who is just selling off their sex and not looking for anything real, lasting or of value,
you find yourself having to consistently whore yourself out to the point of being used up just to get a taste of what you are actually wanting.
And much like the client of the whore who is trying to fill a void and is just buying the illusion of the intimacy and connection,
you are finding yourself feeling used, abused and alone.

The relationships that you are doing this with are the relationships that you need to GET REAL with yourself on.

If you want to experience true happiness.
If you want to be respected.
If you want to have that soulmate relationship based in love,
if you want to feel supported, safe, understood,
If you want to stop questioning yourself and the relationships that you have,
and just BE YOU-
and THRIVE.

if you want that F-ck YES! Life…

Well is starts by you STOPPING YOURSELF FROM BEING A YES WHORE.

The ONLY person you need to answer YES to ALWAYS….

Is YOU.

And you see, if you answer yes to you 100% of the time,
you will find that you will be living authentically and in integrity.
And guess what that means beautiful?

It means you will gain trust, respect, real love and support.
It means that you will NOT ALWAYS make someone else happy,
that you will respect and love yourself enough to know that you are not responsible for anyone else’s emotional response, mental thoughts or even physical actions.
It means that you will no longer be enabling another’s victim mindset in their unconscious maneuver to control you and feel loved themselves.

It means that you will be one step closer to manifesting the life that you are worthy of.

So Stop Being a YES WHORE and Release Yourself from That Which Binds You.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Been thinking about your happiness and success?
Wanting to SAY YES! To Yourself?
Let’s Make it happen beautiful in work, love and life.
Accepting 1:1 applications to work with me for a limited time. 

Know Yourself Sweet Man To Have The Woman That You Want.

Only the divine masculine can hold space for a relationship with the divine feminine.

You say that you desire a relationship with a woman.
A woman who knows herself.
A woman who is passionate, turned on and comfortable in her own skin.
You say that you want a woman who will honor and respect you.
You say that you want a woman who is loyal.
A good mother.
A partner in life.
A woman who loves deep,
ans fierce.
You say so much dear man.

But what you must realize,
is that this sort of woman that you claim that you desire,
that you state you are holding out for,
that you are searching all the corners of your world for and just cannot seem to find…

Yes this woman.

She will DEMAND the same from you.
She will push your boundaries.
She will command your heart.
She will devour you if you are weak.
She will not settle for anything less than what she wants in a her man.
And this woman.
This woman want a MAN.

Not just any man.
She is strong in herself.
She does not need you to THRIVE or even to survive.
She is comfortable with being alone.
She knows her goals,
knows her heart,
KNOWS HER WORTH.🙌

If you come to her with your school boy ways,
if you come to her with ideas that your manhood is based in your pants or in your bank account,
she may play with you for a bit…💃
she may enjoy the offerings of your services,
but if you do not bring to her the true fruit that she desires and deserves then she will cast you out of her world and continue her pursuit.

This woman that you claim that you have been searching for,
that you have yourself believing is hard to find,
may be sitting right beside you as you read these very words.
But in order to unmask her,
you must be willing.
You must be strong.
You must be in truth of who you are.

Do you know your PURPOSE?
Can you embrace your HEART?
Will you drop your SHIELD?
Will you walk with the stance of a KING?

Or will you continue to cower to this life?

The divine masculine is a masculine on FIRE!🔥🔥🔥

Passionate, Turned On to Life, Fierce, Playful, Confident, Present and On Purpose.

To embrace her you must embody these.
Or let yourself wonder in the jungle of the lost,
who will continue to look for what they will never qualify to call in.
But in turn settle for the false relationships,
the heated moments,
the fleeting pleasures of illusion.

The divine masculine KNOWS that to have this woman that his SOUL craves,
he must first LEAD himself to his path,
and walk it in strength,
in courage,
and with enthusiasm of what he will discover within himself.
The way to this woman’s heart,
is through your own.

Uncovering.
Unearthing.
Unmasking.

The reveal of your DIVINE MASCULINE,
the answers to your questions,
the desire of having her,
the search of what you want.

Yes sweet man,
until YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE…
until YOU FIND YOUR COURAGE…
until YOU BECOME A LEADER…
until YOU KNOW THE POWER OF YOUR HEART…

You will never entertain her.
For this woman,
she is wild,
free and on purpose.

And only a REAL MAN will dance with her. 💃💃💃

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

I know that you may be scared.
I have been in those shoes before all too many time.
But that fear is not going to stop you.
You are powerful.
Introducing 12- weeks of “Unstoppable Power – It’s My Time To Fly!”
This is a once in a life time to work with me 1:1 from anywhere in the world.
If you are a man or a woman who is looking for a powerful game-changing opportunity to claim the life that you desire in FAITH and learn how you can access your dreams quickly by releasing old programs based in fear and shame around your worthiness, joy and abundance then this 12-weeks is for you.
Stop letting everything be an excuse!
You deserve better than those reasons you have to stay trapped in your comfort bubble of suffering.
Let’s level up your life over summer.
Message me for deet’s or leave a comment here.

This Is How You Attract a HIGH VIBE Woman.

You claim that you want a HIGH VIBE woman.
You claim that you want a woman that is confident, turned on, knows who she is, fun, loyal, no drama, non-manipulative, loves the things that a good life has to offer. Know’s her worth.
Is a Queen.

But your approach is that of a silly horny 16 year old boy who has not a clue about women, sex, relationship or life at all. 

You think that by asking us to spread our legs for you,
or telling us that you know how to use your tongue,
That you will access this connection,
this love relationship with a HIGH VIBE woman.

You think that saying,
“Hi Babe,” or “You are sexy.”
That we will puddle in our panties over your words,
and drop what we are doing for your silly advances.

You think that deep inquiry,
the stuff that does attract a HIGH VIBE woman’s energy to start is about inquiring about things that you can easily find out by using that thing you seem to be forgetting about…
Your Mind.
Your Brain.
Yes the BIG Head.
And instead you think that asking,
“Are you married?”
“Are you single?”
“How old are you?”
“Where do you live?
“What do you do?
When you have access to this information and more at your fingertips,
and it only makes us irritated because you have no respect of our time,
and show’s that you have not really explored more than a pretty picture’s worth of us,
that this would make us swoon?

You want a HIGH VIBE woman?
Do you really?
You want that woman,
that’s fruits taste so wonderful
Her mystery will stir you for a lifetime.
Her smile will ignite your soul till the sun burns out.
Her smell will haunt you a thousand lifetimes.
Her mind will bewilder you and cause you to want to know more.
You claim you want that woman.
That woman that MAKES YOU WANT:
to conquer the world.
To live your purpose.
to make her proud.
To make her smile.
To laugh.
And for YOU TO BE A BETTER MAN.

Is it that woman that you search for?
Well sweet man…
Let me share this with you…
here and now.

and LISTEN.
Listen carefully.

You Cannot Handle this HIGH VIBE woman.
You may want her,
but your VIEW is not of her.
You belittle her when you treat her like a child.
Thinking she will dance for you,
just because you show her attention.
You think that you can grab her heart,
by speaking about her nipples or butt.
You think that it is endearing and special ,
that you are unique in some fashion,
to open her door and demand that she speak to you,
when all you do is stumble in with words that mean nothing.
You think that by saying “Hi”
that she owes you something.
Or should take the time,
to get to know yet another random bloke ( common man),
who has not a clue who he,
himself is.

You are but a boy.
Trying to be a man.
Wanting to have a woman.
But not understanding.

A HIGH VIBE woman,
WILL NEVER….
Bow to your desires of her,
she will never swoon over your words,
she will never be so easily lead,
by some simple little compliments,
or meme’s.

A HIGH VIBE woman,
does not need you.

She is complete in herself.
She does not need your attention,
and she most certainly does not need your advances.

She is not interested.
Not in such a feet,
as you may think it is to say hi to her.

A HIGH VIBE woman,
will not drop her life for you,
because you bought her a Louis Vuitton handbag,
or want to take her around the world.

A HIGH VIBE woman,
will ONLY pay attention.
To a Conscious Mature Man.
A Man who KNOWS who he is.
Is on purpose.
Is centered in himself.

A man who does not need to be babysat with his emotions,
his time or energy.

A man who can stand in who he is while holding the space required for her to dance for him,
by the music of her choice.

A HIGH VIBE woman,
only desires a HIGH VIBE man.

And sir,
with your advances,
and school boy tricks,
are no where near this man.

So please do us each a favor,
and realize where you are,
and that is not in our garden,
where we can share anything.

If you truly want that HIGH VIBE woman.
As you claim that you do.
Then LISTEN here sweet man,
and listen close.

You must dig deep.
And first discover who you are.
Find your purpose outside of your groin.
Fall in love with the man you can be,
get ignited in life,
and know your path.
Stand firm in who you are,
comfortable in your own flesh.

Be confident not cocky.
Be compassionate not sarcastic.
Be intelligent not irritating.
Be playful not stupid.
Be turned on to life not to just her lady lumps.
Be emotionally mature not an emotional drama queen.
Be responsible for your self not responsible for everyone else.
Be a Hero not a victim.

And above all else…

Be PRESENT in the Now.
Not in what you may want of tomorrow or fear from yesterday.

We do not want your sob stories,
we do not care about how you have been wronged.
What a HIGH VIBE woman desires,
is a HIGH VIBE man Who IS ON PURPOSE and IN LOVE with HIS LIFE.

Become this…
and our fruit is yours to pick.
Otherwise,
Don’t let the gate to our garden hit you too hard.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Want to learn more about becoming that HIGH VIBE Man who can be worthy of calling in that relationship that your SOUL craves so deeply?

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“Penetrating Life the Way You Were Intended”

A 4-week intensive online global workshop for men who desire to penetrate life with passion, confidence, certainty, power and love.

Starting in April.

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Warrior of the Goddesses Heart

I know what I want.
I know my desire.
I feel my heart yearning.
Calling for me to breathe,
breathe life back into it.
To not fear love.
Or to be loved.
To not belittle love,
offered at my doorway.

I hear my lovers words,
the sweetness they make,
the commitment they stand before,
the desire that erupts in them,
and the love.
The love that they are carried on.

I hear him share his heart,
I feel his soul hold space,
for me as I share in return.
I share my fear.
I share my struggle,
I share my desire.
And I want to run.

Can he be the one that can hold me?
Is he willing to really love me?
Or will he crumble
from my weight,
the weight of who I am
and all I want to become.

His words are nothing new to my ears.
Unfortunate tales that many a sailor in my feminine currents have sung before him.

They all long to be the one.
They long to capture my heart.

They enjoy my body,
they are intrigued by my mind,
they get lifted by my spirit,
but they know that the true battle,
the crusade is for my heart.

And it is a heart that has been scorned,
a heart that has been tossed away as it opened deeper.

My lover looks at me with loving eyes,
he aims to penetrate my soul,
he desires for me to feel his commitment,
his certainty,
he is confident that he can hold me
and dance in my fire.

His voice echos words of my past loves.
He shares he does not want me to change.
He does not want to control me.
That he,
yes he can love me and I am not to much.

I feel his heart,
I hear his belief,
but these words are easy to say,
while you sit by the fire and get caught up in its mystery.
What will he do when my fire escapes its container?
What will he do when it desires to over take his heart?
When it burns,
burns in its glory,
in its beauty.

Sure he will enjoy its dance,
but will he be able to handle it being ignited?

Through time and space we dance,
we open and close.
I look away but for a second,
as I sense him leaning in.
My soul wants to be taken.
My heart wants to be penetrated.
But alas,
the fear conquers them.
It masks the emotions that beg to be seen,
and it makes me retreat.

Retreat once again,
I will.
Back into my lonely cave.
Where I feel safe.
Safe in my not having.
Safe in my not being seen,
if even for a bit longer.
Yet he still see’s me.
And I know this.
He leans in further,
his lips softly open,
he asks for a kiss.

My heart shakes,
it rumbles in fear and excitement.
For all it ever wants,
wants to be chased,
wants to be desired,
wants to be opened,
wants to not be given up on.

In its wanting,
he steps a bit further into the fire,
and proclaims his presence.
Asking for my depth.
Asking for my emotion.
Asking for my fire.

And so it is,
that I breathe in.
Just one breath,
just one perhaps.

And answer him in the only way I can,
in this moment.
This perfect moment of our lives.

“As you wish.”
Comes from my lips as we meet once again.

————————–————————–

To all those who have loved and lost,
loved deeper than they can ever share,
who have tasted true love and will never settle for anything less than.

To all those who have stood in the goddesses fire,
who have been burned, who have been mesmerized by its flames and desired to conquer it.

To all those who want to feel its ignition,
who believe that they can hold it.
And dance with it.

Much love to you this day.
Open yourselves to love,
as it is what makes you feel alive.
It births your soul into all it desires,
all it needs and can be.

And let yourself be seen.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

 

Never ask me to do this…

My mentor recently wrote about how if you ask her to give up her art then you will never know her heart, because without the art there is no heart.
 
I sat with this thought all day yesterday after reading her words ( which I will share in full shortly for you). I sat with it because as I read them, my heart gasp in enthusiasm of being understood FINALLY.
 
So often I find myself being asked to sacrifice my work,
my writing, my sharing with you for something else. For a relationship. For false stability.
 
I find my art getting smashed down and hidden under rugs and in corners because it is not perceived as IMPORTANT or it is “just my j-o-b.”
 
I find these same things that request I sacrifice my art, to also desire to become closer to me, to take up valuable space in my life, in my days and weeks. They want time and energy from me, they want my attention but they deny my art and the love I have for it.
 
As I read her words, I realized that out of all the things and people that have pushed my art to the side, that I was by far the worst. It is ONLY me who ever say’s yes or no to my art.
 
It is only me who ever set’s the boundaries around my time, my energy, my life….
 
My art.
 
And it is my doing that at points in life that I allow it to be stolen from me. Hidden and handicapped.
 
I want to share my heart.
I want to share my passion.
I want to reveal all that I know at my deepest core.
At my soul.
 
So why do I allow it to be ignored and put on the back burner?
For the same reason’s that you do!
 

FEAR.

 
Fear of loss of all those that take it’s place.
Fear of not being worthy.
Fear of being too much.
 
Yes that is why we hide from our art at times and allow the loss of it to form in my life until we feel like our lives are no more.
 
Until we can no longer breathe,
because our heart has been squished.
Has lost its life.
 
My art is not my j-o-b.
I do not have a j-o-b.
My message, my mission, my sharing and teaching.
My writing and speaking,
this is all my art.
 
My art comes from my heart.
It comes from that centered place deep withing my soul where I feel the divine speaking and calling out.
 
Using my hands,
my mouth,
my whole being….
 
for not my art.
but God’s Art.
 
If you ask me to choose between my art and you, I’ll choose my art
 
And if you think it’s not a big deal to speak to me or draw my attention in any way while I’m in that art, you break my heart
 
Soon enough then, there’ll be nothing left to give you anyway, because my art is my heart and only from my art beats my heart so if you break it –
 
And you continually show you don’t get that it’s always art first –
 
I have to remove myself or there will be no more art
 
And no more heart
 
For anyone” — Katrina Ruth
 
So why the f-ck ever choose ANYTHING other than your art?
 
That becomes the question.
There is NEVER a reason good enough if you look at it like this.
 

What is your art?

Choose it today.

Claim Your Life.

 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

Why I Am Such A Bitch to Men.

Little girls are taught to smile, be polite and make sure to not ask for too much or be too demanding.

Little girls are told that it is their responsibility to take care of others.

Little girls are told that it is their fault if a boy says, thinks or does something based in sexual attitude to them.

Little girls are told that only “bad” girls speak about their desires or ask for them.

And you know what all of this bullsh*t does to us women?

It causes some seriously unhappy women that have no clue what they want and are loaded with shame and guilt. It is the beginning of a life long plague where we grown ass women attract all the wrong men in our lives and scare away the good guys left and right because we are lost little girls hiding in this grown up body, pretending to have all our sh*t together STILL trying to be a “good girl” like we were taught.

And you know what this bullsh*t does to men?

It teaches them that women are their for the use and the toss away. It teaches them that they don’t have to earn us nor work on themselves to keep us. It teaches them that sex is a transaction and that women should be happy with what they get back from a guy which is typically some slimy come on laced with some expectation.

These teachings that our youth get contribute to the crappy dating world we live in. They are the foundations of the issues in our relationship saga’s and our marriage crisis’s.

We speak about monogamy but what we don’t understand is that with it or ANY relationship outline that each  of us MUST be committed to each other and to our own growth and the growth of the relationship. Relationships are not easy, they require work, commitment and compassion. Here is the issue, often we get into a relationship way to quickly and we throw ourselves into the deep end and expect that commitment is a sure thing. We also expect that this commitment is going to allow us to not have to work so hard any more and that we can just relax and soften the courting ( on both sides). Commitment means that sex should just happen, when we want it and that it is part of our relationship duties that we should be damn happy about.

This is all so far from any truth, yet this is what relationship after relationship goes through.

These issues would all come to a halt if they never had an opportunity to get started.

And here is why I am a bitch to men.

I am a bitch to men because when a man messages me a random text, email, FB message and asks me a dumb question like:

” How old are you?”

“What’s your name?”

“Are you married?”

“How are you today ?”

“What’s up?”

(and these are opener liner’s)

Or simply just says, “Hi.” and leaves it at that. I can tell that I have a winner of a man in my presence. Yeppers, this man is committed to only one thing and it is not to getting to know me or exploring any sort of relationship. No he is more than likely hoping that I am as desperate as him and will send him a picture or get into a sex chat with him so that he can jack off to my words and picture and be done. Once again proving that men in today’s world have been taught that women are their for the usage, their pleasure and can easily be disposed of.

Take this into the dating world and you get the guys who think that it’s okay to assume that sex or anything will happen just because they have asked a woman out.  If they buy dinner well then, what are they getting in return? If they have taken a woman out three times then she better put out.

Our society norm on relationship is that it is ALL about the QUICK, EASY HOOK UP.

It is not just the men’s fault here.

Us ladies have a BIG role in this as well.

We allow this kind of attitude to flourish by the way we act.

Not being authentic from the start. Leading men on in one way and at the same time keeping ourselves locked away and not sharing what we are wanting in a relationship. Thinking  that the way to a man’s heart is through his cock and giving him easy sex right up front.

Ladies, this is NOT the way to capture a man. You can have many “boys” to play with but a man will want more of you than just your sex. And a man will be willing to take things slow, be present with you and show you in many ways that you are more than just a booty call or friend with benefits. These men are willing to court and do so NOT because of some duty or because they think that women cannot do things such as open doors and pull out chairs or pay a tab, but because it brings them pleasure to pamper you and take care of you. Because they are operating in their divine masculine and love being a man that is strong in himself thus can support a woman in her feminine.

They also, do not have a desire for you to have sex with them out of duty because they just paid for dinner. No they only desire to have you sexually when you are ready and wanting it too.  They understand that it takes an emotional connection and level of trust to be open to having pleasurable sex and intimacy and that it is NOT about the pump, pump, ooooh, goo experience that they could have in the privacy of their own bathroom with their hand but that when you finally come together in this way that his pleasure will be intensified by your surrender due to the trust building and emotional connection that you both created on the front side.

These sort of men, through their own energy and personal power and confidence in them selves and life make a woman want them in every way from the first moment of meeting.

It is NOT something that can be faked either.

These men desire a WOMAN not a girl.  They want someone stable in who she is, comfortable in her feminine energy and NOT shadowing her beauty with a need to prove that she is a better man than he. These men value authentic women, not manipulation and game playing. They want us women to show up as we are in any moment, raw, beautiful and in our power as a woman.

These men smile at our fire, our passion, our hearts desires. They are willing to hold space for our tears and they value emotions, ALL of them.

These men even if scared, desire more to be strong in themselves and in worship of their love to their woman than to try an control her through some belittling program of duty that only kills a relationship. They know what they want, they know it is work and there will be emotional times. They understand that in order to keep  a real woman in their life that they must ALWAYS strive to be a better man then what they were the day before and have as much compassion for themselves as they do for her.

This is why I am a bitch to men.

NOT all men. 

Just the chosen men that are not men to start with but little boys, insecure in themselves and fearful of any true depth of relationship or intimacy. These men I am a bitch too, because why would a woman settle for anything less than an authentic superior man who is on purpose, in love with life and self and fully ready to envelop her in his heart.

Why would a woman settle for a man that cannot or refuses to match her radiance and love with his own?

Why would a woman settle for anything less than what God wants her to have? God wants us women to ask men to stand up and be men, in their power and glory and with their hearts and souls, not just their” little heads.”

Ladies why are you settling?

 

 

The Day the Earth Stood Still.

” There must be alternatives. You must have technology that could solve our problem.”  – Quoted from the 1951 Movie The Day the Earth Stood Still

Breathless I feel my heart clenching, holding on for dear life. My ego throwing a fit beyond measure, wanting to rage and destroy, cry and break beneath the pressure of the pain.  I sit there, just  reading over and over again the words that every cell in my being feared the most. How could this be? Why would this happen? How could the love not withstand, and God deny something so beautiful, powerful, and divine? Why would God not desire for our worship of him to come through our relationship and be a path of grace for others. An example of the blessings and beauty that he desires for us?

Ego chanting words of anger, pain, and fear. The primitive mind running a muck and taunting me to react out of this fear and charge forward, saying things I would be sure to regret and did not mean in my heart or soul. No just the wound would be speaking in this moment and it was just the wound of this drastic blow to my heart that I was standing in the epicenter of.  The storm that blew around me keeping me from feeling my truth, my love. Shrouding me in a darkness that spoke of never leaving.  Monsters lurking, screaming out my fears of abandonment, never being able to hold on to love, not being lovable, not being worthy, not being enough and being to much. Telling me IF I had only done this or that then things would be different. The pain, the shame, the guilt and the feeling of being so naive to love again.

After all it was my stupid little girl who was hopeful and certain that this time things would be different. How could they not? I had never gone so deep with someone before. I had never revealed and explored the layers of my soul like I had in this love. I had never trusted anyone to surrender the way that I had with him.

Perhaps it was to much.

Or I was too much.

My eye’s skimming back across the word, “Goodbye.” Almost meditating on it and watching the sky fall outside the window.  My heart not beating fast at all, in fact feeling like there is no beating at all. Am I dead Lord? Where is my breathe? Where is my heart? I am left with neither, only the haunting of my crazed mind and the laughter from something deep in me, taunting that it knew all along that he would do this.

Only sheer seconds passed I am sure, but it felt like a thousand lifetimes flickered their emptiness before me without him.

Yes today, today the earth stands still.

And with it my heart and soul, withering in a corner unable to move, finding that there is no purpose to hold out for hope, for love, or for life. What reason should I move forward. I have no heart for it in his hands, my soul bound to his and now in darkness lost. There is no purpose to moving forward, no purpose to standing up and going on.

And yet, I must.

There in my chair, I look into the eye’s of the corpse that use to be full of love and life. Realizing that I must dress it up and spray perfume on it to hide its rot so that my children and all those I see will not see my pain, my suffering, my self-hatred for not being worthy and now being a sham too boot.

Authenticity. HA!

Love. HA!

Certainty. HA!

Blessing. HA!

These words that we bask in when things are going great, they do nothing for the broken. They get trampled by the pain, the rage, and the fear. They drown in the sludge of our ego’s as we hide.

Our world does not allow us to embrace our range of emotions. It is only socially acceptable to be “okay and fine” or happy. We hide from mourning. We hide from anger and even condemn it. So, what am I to do here on this day that ended the world as I knew it?

Smile.

Make my list.

Control what I can.

Try to breathe a false breath.

Ignore the pain. That is what one is to do in this situation. Ignore it and carry on. Just as he suggested in his goodbye, it is time for me to walk my own path without him. I suppose I could go off and go on a few dates, have some crazy sexual encounters and try and connect to someone else by the use of my physical body. I could hide by grabbing a bottle or two of my favorite drink. I could crash on the couch and veg in front of Netflix for the next century. I could hide my tears and I could stand strong and act like none of this was happening, just throw myself into my work and my children and carry on.

Or…. I could jump in my car and go and scream in his face. Burst into tears and beg. I could let the wild woman out that loves deeply and passionately and will go to war for her love when he is not strong enough to see his heart from all the mist about him. I could make my case and then that for sure would change everything. Perhaps I would at very least feel better in having him stand there and be the persecutor to my victim in hopes that he would decide to rescue me.

But both of those are based in ego. This is not what my spirit desires and knows to be love or my strength.

No, instead it is time to PAUSE.

It is time to go within and allow myself to feel fully. To embrace the rawness of the wound and the beauty of the love that was shared. It is time, on this day that the earth stands still to take a cue from the divine.

LISTEN.

Listen to the stillness.

Listen to the rhythm of this life.

Listen to the voice off in the distance that is speaking. That voice that sounds of truth and love eternal.

Here there is still hope. There is hope for this broken soul of today to heal and to move forward. It will not happen on my timeline, or on anyone’s.  It will not occur because of pushing through. It will not be touched by my masks, my over analyzation or my fear of the future.

No the only thing that will support it is my surrender.

So here you go kind folks, heartbreak is unavoidable. It chases us all down like ravenous wolves and makes us fear it. We dance around and try our hardest to avoid. We believe that by settling for something less than what our hearts and souls desire that we will be safe.

We hide our faces every day of our lives, we shut our hearts to the love and joy that crave to bless us. We speak words of logic in the face of that that we can never grasp. We follow the darkness as it masks itself as light, telling us that we do this or that and behave that we will avoid.

Avoid pain.

What this enemy does not share is that by being average and ordinary and hiding from our passion to bask in the blessings of God and all the beauty of this physical existence that comes with that, that we forfeit our desire NOT just for this life, but for God as well.

True we are not to worship things of this physical world in place of our worship for the Creator, but things of this world can be used as our worship of God. The simple act of kissing a lover can be an act of worship of God. It is the intent of the heart that is behind it that reveals the beauty.

If we choose to live in fear in our physical world then we show no trust of God. We may claim that we are believers, but do true believers fear this world? Or do they embrace it in desire and on fire with the backing of God?

God wants you to desire life.

God wants you to desire love.

God wants you to desire him.

 

Our fear of stepping forward in faith, is nothing more than blasphemy.

Ask yourself today if you have faith or fear ruling your life?

One is of God the other is the enemy.

“Stop Existing – Start Living.”