Your Neediness Is Stopping Your F-ck Yes! Life.

I know that you want it baby.
I can see it in your eye’s.
I know that you desire for that F-ck Yes! Life.
You want the connection,
you want the passion,
you want the happiness and direction.
I can see your desire.
It washes across your face as you speak.
It is a hunger,
and you are starving for it.
 
But luv,
here is the issue,
here is the challenge that you cannot see for yourself.
This hunger that is pulling at you,
it has you blinded to what you are missing.
 
And that my luv,
is not what you hunger for,
NO.
What you are missing is the presence,
the release,
the surrender.
You are missing your own allowing,
out of the fear that you miss all that you hunger for.
You fear that by letting go,
you will loose.
And what you are causing is the very lose of what you want so deeply for.
 
You are desperate and hungry luv.
You are a ravenous beast.
You are dangerous.
You are pushing away everyone and everything,
because of your fear.
And this has you even more hungry, does it not.
 
The answer to what you desire,
the way to getting it for certain.
It is not in you chasing.
It is not in you demanding.
It is not in you threatening,
or shaming,
or manipulating.
No you will never achieve what you want in these futile attempts.
This sort of immaturity may make you feel powerful,
it may show you evidence of you getting for a moment,
but you will loose it all quickly,
if you do not allow yourself to have it through your true power.
 
And that power is felt in your love.
It is seen and experienced in your presence.
In your opening to understanding that your self-centeredness is holding your desire at bay.
 
You want to be seen.
You want to be felt.
Understood.
You want to be wanted.
 
And you can have all of this and more.
Life wants to give to you luv.
But in order to have it,
you MUST allow it.
And this will come when you let go.
 
Let go of your neediness.
Let go of your control.
Let go of your hunger.
In your trying,
you are resisting.
 
You are missing all that you can be.
You are missing all that you can have.
You are missing all that you can give,
can share.
 
Because luv,
yes,
it is all about you.
You are for certain the most important person in the room.
But your importance,
must rest assured in confidence not need.
You cannot demand the spot light at the cost of the room.
You cannot fear your own light to the point of hiding from your shadow.
 
The way to have it all.
The path to your F-ck Yes! Life…
It is through your release of the NEED.
 
Ask yourself today luv,
where am I holding on? Where am I resisting all that I can have by insisting on my need?
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for deet’s about 1:1 elite coaching opportunities today while they still are available.

It’s All About You Being Turned On BABY!

Turn it on BABY!
 
You can do it.
No matter what is happening.
No matter the storms that may be in your midst,
no matter what you fear,
what worries you and is scratching at your heals.
 
Turn it on BABY!
 
That’s where your power comes from.
That’s where the shift occurs.
That’s how you create the momentum.
 
It’s all about you TURNING IT ON.
 
This life of yours,
it’s your SHOW.
It’s all about you becoming you.
Learning you,
and you SHINE.
 
Those fears and doubts,
those worries that block you up and make you stumble,
that is not you baby.
That is but only your resistance to who you are.
That void that you feel rising up at times that trouble,
that void is only the separation between who you are allowing yourself to be and your SOUL.
 
Your TRUTH.
 
So TURN IT ON!
 
Because BABY,
You see when you turn on that light within,
when you tap into that powerhouse of energy,
when you let your SOUL SHINE,
you are truly UNSTOPPABLE.
 
You are a force in nature that cannot be shut down,
your heart,
your soul,
your beauty,
it is magnetic, true and divine.
And this baby,
this is who you are.
You have got to know,
you have just got t o know…
 
That feeling that resides,
deep within your CORE,
that voice inside,
that speaks those words,
they scare you because of their power,
they scare you because you doubt your worthiness,
but you KNOW.
 
Your desire is what keeps you coming back.
Your desire to feel this feeling.
This beautiful,
breathtaking feeling of your SURRENDER.
 
And what are you surrendering too baby?
 
To SELF.
To SOUL.
To that feeling.
 
And oh, how it washes over you,
like the breath of a lover,
your flesh ignites,
your heart pulse increases,
you feel flushes,
and excited.
You want to open to it,
you know you do.
Despite your fear….
 
You desire.
 
Desire this SURRENDER.
And so you must,
you must simply TURN IT ON.
 
But how do you turn on this light?
How do you just let go and allow all that you want to move through you?
How to surrender to your desire,
your dreams,
your POWER?
 
Simple, baby….
it’s about letting go of the reigns of control.
It’s about letting go of that which is so logical.
It’s about stepping into your messiness,
your chaos,
your creative vibe.
It’s about playing.
Laughing.
Being turned on to life.
And it’s about no longer doubting WHO YOU ARE.
 
Because baby,
you are magnificent.
You are powerful,
you are more than you can imagine.
And you are unstoppable.
 
But baby,
you know what you must do…
It’s the work of JUST DOING.
It’s doing that DAMN THING.
The THING that you fear the most.
Yes that THING…
and that thing is what is holding you back,
so let go baby,
and do the damn thing,
open up,
surrender to everything that you want my dear.
 
If you could only see,
that what you want,
wants you too,
and it there,
RIGHT THERE,
on the other side of your resistance.
 
It is there on the other side of the curtain that you are holding up,
blinding you from the life that you so badly want.
It is there.
But you must put your fears and doubts down.
You must allow yourself to FEEL.
You must surrender to your pleasure,
your TURN ON,
your WANTING of it.
And turn away from your fear of not having.
 
Yes BABY,
this is the thing,
the thing that you must do to have it all.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living – GET TURNED ON!
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believer”

Forced Consent is Not Authentic Consent.

You can’t touch this….
Touch.
Hands on attention.
Something that is so needed,
so human, so intimate and connective.
 
Yes touch is something beautiful.
Unless it is not wanted.
Unless it is given when it is not appropriate.
Unless it is out of one’s boundaries or it is forced upon someone.
 
And it is this final statement that I want to address today.
As a woman who has experienced her fair share of trauma,
and speak about the healing process,
the psychological issue around and how to best prevent further trauma in life,
It has come to my attention over the last week the power of touch, yet again.
 
The same touch that can show love can also trigger fear.
Our hands and fingers can open in a hug and give one with deep care and no desire to harm another,
these same hands and fingers can penetrate another person with fear and trigger old wounds as well as cause new ones with the same action of a hug.
 
How can that be?
How is it possible?
Does that mean that we should just not touch anyone?
Yet here we are a touch deprived society.
Hungry for touch and the fact that we are so deprived has us uncertain as to what is healthy and what is not,
because we are deprived and not taught proper respect and boundaries,
permissions and body language signs,
because we want what we want and tend to overlook another person’s feelings or obvious gestures of not wanting to be touched,
we push ourselves onto others with great disregard to what we may actually be triggering in them or re-anchoring from a past wound.
 
Touch can be healing,
but it can also be harming.
 
Outside of the harmful touch of physical abuse which is what you may think when you read the words of touch can be harmful,
it can still be harmful with a loving, caring, even playful touch.
 
I will bring to the attention what our society is being taught.
 
Recently in America we have dealt with the conversation of touch with our very president being captured stating:
 
“Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”
 
This is an extreme statement about touch.
About taking what you want with disregard to another human being. And I see the fall out of this statement in many relationship scenarios from parenting to lovers,
from friends to colleagues.
 
Every time we ask our child for a hug or a kiss and they say “no” and we respond with,
“Come on, mommy/daddy need’s a hug.”
” Give me hug and then you can go.”
“I will give you this if you give me a hug or a kiss.”
 
We are disrespecting our child’s space and answer.
We are teaching our child that it is okay to ignore a “no” and to even try and bribe, guilt or push further for what you want with total disrespect to another’s desire, boundary or need.
 
This then translates to adults who believe that it is okay to push for what they want with a spouse or partner.
 
It translates to adults who do not respect the space, time or feelings of another in any relationship situation.
 
It translates to adults who do not take responsibility for their actions, as they feel that they are doing what they are doing out of a “good” place or a “just or deserving” place, as though they have the right when in fact they do not,
and that no matter how good or right our actions may be,
if they are harming toward another’s boundaries or desires then we need to pause and respect what we are being told or what we are witnessing in energy,
body language coming from another person.
 
Touch.
It is so very powerful.
And our boundaries around it can ebb and flow within any relationship and moment by moment in our lives.
A touch that felt good yesterday may very well close us down to connection the next.
 
And the thing to remember about touch is that it extends past the physical.
 
Touch is about how we touch another person.
 
We can touch another person with our physical body,
we can touch them with our words,
we can touch them with the look from our eye’s,
the expression on our face.
We touch other’s all the time.
How you touch them is the question that I encourage you to review in your life today?
 
Are you honoring and respectful?
Do you listen to their body language as well as their words?
Can you hear their truth and accept it just as that,
without needing approval from them or needing a reason as to why they think, feel or need what they need?
 
Or are you operating from a place of self-centeredness?
A place of need and hunger?
 
When you are in relationship with anyone,
no matter the intimacy level or actual label on the relationship,
do you give…
do you touch…
do you speak…
do you act…
out of the place of unconditional respect and love or are you wanting something and wanting to feel a certain way,
with the belief that if this other person “supports” (gives) you what you are wanting by allowing you to act, speak, give, touch, etc… the way that you deem good in that moment,
that this is what “should” happen and it is “okay” because that is just the way that you want it to be?
 
We are all guilty of ignoring another and insisting that they feel or think a way that we want them too instead of how they may actually be feeling or thinking.
 
We are all guilty of wanting something from another at times.
We are all guilty of missing ques in body language or tones, even not hearing words fully and crossing over boundaries.
We are all guilty of being self-centered.
 
No one wants to feel rejected.
No one wants to feel like they have hurt someone that they care for.
 
The reality is that when in relationship,
we will hurt those we care for.
We will not always be present with them.
And we will have hidden expectations if nothing else that we are not aware of that may cause issues along the path.
 
But if we want to act out of love,
if we want to be emotionally mature,
and trustworthy,
if we want to expand and deepen a relationship,
then each of us MUST take responsibility for how we choose to touch those around us.
 
With our words.
With our physical bodies.
With our looks.
With our expectations.
And assumptions.
 
And we must learn to respect the “No” without question of why.
 
Because no one owes you an explanation of why they are feeling any way,
just like you do not owe anyone an explanation as to why you think or feel any particular way either.
 
But to push your will on another,
is a breaking of truth,
it is dishonoring to the relationship and to both parties in relationship,
and it shows the desperation of one’s need and lack of actual care for another.
Making it detrimental to the relationship.
 
Pay attention to what you are seeing,
to what you feel coming from another person,
not not what you want to feel or see.
 
Realize that your truth about any particular thing may not be the same as another’s and if you are interacting with another person you NEED their consent to involve them.
 
How are you toughing those in your life today?
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.

This is why she is not wanting your sex…

Sex, sex, sex…
 
If we just have more sex things will fix themselves.
 
Really we have a great relationship,
we communicate wonderful,
my partner is my best friend,
we talk about everything.
 
We are just having issues with our sex.
You see, she/he just does not desire it as much as I do.
I get the feeling that she/he does not find me attractive anymore.
She/he is a night owl and I am a morning person.
Life has been so busy we just don’t have the time.
She/he is never in the mood at the same time as I am.
She/he is so sensitive about things, I have to be cautious about how I present my desire for sex.
I really just believe that if we were having more sex, more frequently that our relationship would be amazing.
So how do I get my partner to wan it more?
 
What?
Wait?
No I can’t do that.
I don’t have the time.
You see we are VERY limited on time,
and the stress of raising a family,
the stress of going back to school,
of building the house,
of work,
etc…etc…etc…
We just don’t have the time to plan much out.
That’s why we take vacations.
 
When we are on vacation,
it’s like we can just put everything else on the back burner and we both want to have sex more often.
Which I don’t fully understand…
Why does she/he want it on vacation but rejects me all the time when at home?
I mean I still want it even when we are not on vacation.
 
I have tried planning out dates.
I have tried slowing down,
I mean we make out for like 10 minutes before we start to have sex.
 
I know my partner is stressed out and that, that impacts his/her drive,
but sex helps me cope with stress.
 
WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO HARD?
 
In the past in my relationships,
when things started getting hard in our sex life it was a sign that our relationship was ending,
I love my partner and I am not willing to give up yet on this relationship.
 
How can I make them want to have more sex and to actually initiate it?
 
These are some of the very common things that I hear coming from couples who are struggling more in their intimacy and relationships then they want to let on.
 
And in reality,
the majority of the time it is the masculine who is begging for more frequency in sex.
It is the masculine who wants the feminine to initiate,
who says that they are not feeling desired.
It is the masculine who believes that just having more sex will fix everything.
 
And I want to share a little feminine secret with you…
The feminine DOES NOT get turned on the way the masculine does. The feminine needs to have things accomplished before they can settle into a turned on state.
The feminine needs time.
Needs foreplay more than 10 minutes.
Needs quality.
Frequency can happen, but quality has to be there too.
The feminine does not look at an erection and think oh I have all this to do and all this worry and am feeling so freaking tired but damn I am ready to go.
Women do not go zero to 60 in less than 30 seconds.
It’s sorta like boiling water…
You put a pot of cold water on the stove and you turn the burner on and then you do what?
You wait…
you wait for the water to warm,
then you wait some more for bubbles to form,
then you wait some more for it to fully boil.
This takes TIME.
The more fatigued,
the more stressed,
the more things on a women’s plate,
the less the desire,
the longer it takes for a woman to get turned on.
And the sad truth is,
that many women will let their man have sex before they are physically, emotionally and mentally ready for it.
This causes trauma to the body.
If a woman is not fully embodied,
meaning body present,
then she will hardly feel much of anything,
washing her hands may bring more pleasure.
But we women tend to want to try and please our partners more than care for our own bodies.
So we cave into duty sex, pity sex, quickies, and just taking care of our guy allowing our bodies to become masturbation tools instead of honoring ourselves and insisting on slowing down,
asking for our partners to be more present in sex,
spending time outside of sex with them,
listening,
holding space,
and simply just being human with your female partner.
Women are NOT masturbation tools!
Women’s bodies are not here just for men’s pleasure.
Women require more time and attention,
require their hearts and minds to be made love to,
before they can truly open up and desire sex.
If your woman is not turned on,
if she is not supporting your initiations of intimacy,
if she is moody,
non-interested or just “giving it up”
then you are not making love to her heart and mind and she is not not going to want your sex.
 
If your life is full of stress,
if she is working a job,
coming home to deal with the kids,
cleaning the house and running all the errands,
then passing out,
and has no interest,
but still takes care of you every now and then.
Realize this…
you are using your woman for a masturbation tool.
if your relationship seem’s a little off and you are believing that frequency is what is needed in your sex to fix everything,
but think that there is nothing else wrong in your relationship,
you better think again.
 
There is ton’s going on that is not right,
and your woman,
she will hold it all back for some time,
she will deny it even,
she will keep giving you what you need here and there
and saying it is fine.
And then one day she will be gone or she will shut sex all the way down.
Because one day she will tired of being used and not feeling any pleasure.
She will tired of not being treated with any amount of care,
and there not being time for her,
she be tired of giving.
 
I can tell you that after working with thousands of couple’s that the above is what happen’s.
I can share from a very real life experience level of doing just this in a 20+ year marriage that even a multi-orgasmic woman such as myself,
with ton’s of education and understanding can be guilty of just being a human female and falling prey to the norm.
And I can tell you that it is detrimental to your relationship.
 
Women stop caving into sex that you are not turned on too just to appease your man. He will survive without using you as a masturbation tool. And ladies ask for your needs,
inside and outside the bedroom.
 
Men, if your expecting her to have desire, initiate and be your porn star or want your sex when she is fatigued, stressed and oh so not into it and then wonder why she is moody as f-ck and shut down to your advances or irritated with them, but you are not understanding that a woman takes time and attention and needs what she needs or you might as well just go get a flesh-light, because that’s what you are asking her to serve you as,
then stop an realize that she does not owe you sex.
She is not here for your pleasure,
that sex between two people is to be mutually pleasurable or one side is getting used and not being treated in love.
If you say you love your woman,
then make time for the relationship with her.
And remember that the way to her sex,
her wanting your sex,
craving your sex even,
is to be present with her,
reduce her stress,
get her some relaxation and sleep,
give her some romance
and slow the eff down.
 
Want to learn more on this topic?
Want to learn ancient tantric secrets,
understand women more and gain knowledge of how to relate to a woman to get her desire to grow?
Explore Not Your Average Joe – Claiming Your Masculine Power Through Tantra an online global training for men who desire more than average in the bedroom.
Message me for deet’s.
 
And remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

WHAT YOU WANT YOU CAN’T GIVE 100% OF THE TIME.

You know what you are looking for in your life?
You know what you are wanting in your relationships?
 
It’s the very thing that is so hard to give.
We all have trouble offering it 100% of the time.
And in truth we simply will never be it 100%.
 
We can’t be it all the time,
because we are works in progress,
always getting to know ourselves a tad bit deeper.
And it is a scary ground to walk on.
But geeze do our souls desire it so.
 
What could I be speaking of beautiful?
 
Well its not more sex.
It’s not even love.
It’s not a pat on the back.
Or more money.
 
No.
 
The thing that we often desire is a little thing that you can not hold in your hands,
you can feel with your skin,
you cannot guarantee ever.
But you want it.
You want it, this I am sure.
 
That thing I speak of beautiful is:
 
TRUTH.
INTEGRITY.
HONESTY.
AUTHENTICITY.
 
So often I hear people say,
” I am an honest person.”
 
” All I want is to know the truth.”
” I hate drama and manipulation.”
” I am a person of their word.”
” I am just being me.”
 
Mmmm- Hmmmmm….
 
Is that so?
Is that true?
 
Perhaps it may feel that way to you.
And perhaps you may actually believe that you are.
And in many moments you most likely are.
But today I offer up the pondering of the possibility that maybe, just maybe you are not as authentically honest and truthful as you believe you are.
 
Perhaps you are human,
just like the rest of us out here.
Perhaps you are on a journey to discover who you are and even though you think you know,
you still find yourself waking up to new aspects of who you actually are each time the shiz hits the fan and you are triggered.
 
Every time someone asks something of you and you make an excuse.
Every time, someone shares something with you in confidence and you share it just once with this good friend over here.
Every time you get triggered and your words escape your mouth before you have thought them through.
Every time you blame and point that finger.
Every time you weep in feeling you are alone and story tell to yourself the lies that support.
Every time someone does not react the way that you desire and so you say something to make them change their mind…
 
Yes every time.
 
Every time you tell your lover something that is not true.
Every time you look down from yourself in the mirror.
Every time you shut down your heart from feeling what you said.
Every time YOU ARE ASKED TO STEP UP and speak your truth.
 
Oh, beautiful every time.
 
These are all moments when we choose to step back from that which we desire so deeply to have.
 
And by stepping back from our own truth,
we lean just a tad into that vibe of illusion.
And we lie to ourselves.
We lie to others as well.
It often feel’s so small,
it should not matter.
But each time we step away from our truth,
we close off AUTHENTIC COMMUNICATION.
 
We shut ourselves down to love.
Because often beautiful,
in moment like these,
love is there.
Just on the other side of our illusions,
where we choose to lift our head,
say no to the ego of trying to get out of something or to manipulate.
 
Yes on the other side we find love.
We find freedom.
We find confidence.
And we regain trust.
 
You will never be a trustworthy person if you cannot stand in your own integrity,
even when you have fallen,
to stand in integrity is to give yourself grace enough to say,
“I was wrong.”
 
Where have you stepped away from that which you desire so much?
 
And how can you step back into authentic relating with those you love and care for?
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.

Stop Loosing Yourself In The Goodbye Beautiful.

Doesn’t F-cking Matter!
People say goodbye all the time, in so many ways.
People turn away from you,
some you feel,
some you don’t notice.

But at the end of the day,
It doesn’t f-cking matter either way.

They came into your life for a reason.
This you can be sure

How long someone hangs with you baby,
Well that is upto your spiritual contract with them.
What do I mean by that?

What kind of crazy new age concept is a spiritual contract anyway?

In this instance I am referring to the lessons you gain from the relationship. And EVERY relationship teaches us something.

Its important to realize that we are in relationship WITH EVERYTHING and EVERYONE in our lives too.
So get right with that RIGHT NOW gorgeous.

Those short meetups, hook ups, chatting and getting no where with people that pop through your life and wonder WTF was that about?
Was there to present some lesson or deeper understanding into your life,
Into who you are,
And how you are VIBING.

And when they leave.
You can say it doesn’t matter anyway.
And it doesn’t!

As long as you got from them what you were meant to.

Were you present enough in that relationship,
No matter how short lived it was or not,
No matter the drama,
The trauma,
The heartbreak.

Did you get your lesson beautiful?
Did you?

Cuz if you chose to get caught up in the ego of what happened,
and you missed the lesson,
Then baby,
You are going to have to rinse and repeat.

And that’s why you run into the same people over and over again just with a different face,
Different story.

And when you get caught up in the ego of the loss,
You loose something much more significant and valuable then that relationship.
You loose a piece of you.
When you sit a stare at the people who are unliking or unfollowing you on social media,
When you pay more attention to who is not paying attention to you,
When you wait for the lack of response from that person you went out on a date with,
Or hooked up with,
When you get caught up in the certainly that so and so will apologize or come back,
When you wait….

You loose yourself.
And at the end of your days beautiful,
It doesn’t f-cking matter anyway.

Their goodbye.
Thier shut down.
Thier blindness.
Thier disconnect.

None of it matters.
And you deserve so much better.
But here is the thing,
YOU have to allow yourself to have better.
YOU have to stop making yourself available for that shiz.
YOU have to stop resisting your beauty,
Your greatness,
Your value.
And you have to get THAT lesson.

Because baby,
The best is yet to come.

It is!
You just have to change what your looking for.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.

MY INTIMACY SHARE ON CURRENT FAMILY LIFE BLESSINGS – FROM A MOTHERS HEART- WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

MY INTIMACY SHARE ON CURRENT FAMILY LIFE BLESSINGS- FROM A MOTHERS HEART – WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

Feeling in love this morning as I get ready for the day and the next two weeks of adventure. I am in gratitude for the lessons and experiences of my past,

as without them I would not appreciate that which is with me today in my relationships, lifestyle, and being. It is so obvious to me how easy it is to take things for granted until we are faced with the not having them and sometimes we have to go through great suffering to appreciate that which our heart desires.

The simple little things mean so much.
It’s the smile from your child when they see you walk in the door.
It’s the warm embrace from your partner for no reason.
It’s the kind acts of service, no matter how small that show such care.
It’s the time taken for a conversation without attention to some device.
It’s the snuggling before bed or the good morning kiss.

When Levi makes me breakfast unexpectedly my heart smiles and I feel so blessed.

Every day when Zach chooses to stop in and chat with me before going home, I feel blessed.

When Sam comes and shares her awe over Dameion’s newest milestones or just sits and has a beautiful deep conversation with me about women-hood, I feel blessed.

When Rebekah comes in and shares her latest mommy experience or challenge, or when she just walks up to me and gives me a big hug and say, “I love you., ” I feel blessed.

When Jules asks to go out with me for whatever reason but I can tell she actually needs to just have a moment with mom to share something happening and is uncertain how else to ask for it, I feel blessed.

When Zak Miller, rounds the corner in my house and walks over to me and gives me a big hug before anything else or sits and talks from his beautiful heart, I feel blessed.

When Eniqueo and I tease each other and we laugh, or we compete in love over a good game of darts, I feel blessed.

When Gabe, wakes up in the morning and snuggles next to me and says, “I want you to be my snuggle buddy.” or rushes to help me do something without being asked, I feel blessed.

When Rowan grabs me and hugs so tight I can barely breathe and claims me all for himself, ” My mommy!” or takes my hand and asks me to read him a story and snuggle, I feel blessed.

When Kia, Andrew and J storm in my home and run to me with smiles and big hugs, I feel blessed.

When Dameion looks with his big eye’s up at me while I am feeding him his bottle and smiles while slurping back his milk, I feel blessed.

When Steve stops everything he is doing because he noticed that something was not right with me without me saying anything and gives me a hug or when he does all the little things that are actually big things to take things off my table, I feel blessed.

When I catch that mental snapshot of a moment that is awe inspiring of my family connecting and loving, laughing and being them, I feel blessed.

My life is so crazy busy.
My life has so many beautiful souls,
these that I shared a fragment of what I am blessed by and so many other dear friends and sister/brother souls who just light up my world with them just being in it and choosing to share pieces of their life with me.

It is mornings like this morning,
that I am reminded that life has not always been like this.
Life has always been full,
and there is always drama.
But not that very long ago,
my children wanted to be around me but the energy in our home was not supportive.
The laughter and joy,
the deep connective moments,
the conversations,
the family enviroment,
the thought to another,
the connection between myself and my partner,
the love that I so badly wanted to feel,
it was not there.

It was vacant.
And my heart hurt because of it.
My children suffered for the lack of it.
And my lesson is to never settle for so little of such a valuable thing again.

One of the biggest blessing that our lives can have is the blessing of connection.

The blessing that people,
the people that we cherish want to be with us,
JUST BECAUSE.

From my blessed mama heart to yours,
appreciate your blessings and put your focus on them.
They are what make life so beautiful.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Been thinking about your happiness and success?
Wanting to SAY YES! To Yourself?
Let’s Make it happen beautiful in work, love and life.
Accepting 1:1 applications to work with me for a limited time. 

MONEY IS EVIL- PERSONAL SUFFERING IS FAITH BEARING, + OTHER BULLSHIZ IDEA’S ABOUT YOUR WORTHINESS

MONEY IS EVIL – PERSONAL SUFFERING IS FAITH BEARING, + OTHER BULLSHIZ IDEA’S ABOUT YOUR WORTHINESS
 
Why do you not get that you are WORTHY?
 
And why is it that you keep buying into the bullshiz that in order to be worthy you must suffer?
 
Or that because you are suffering that this proves that you are in faith?
 
It is silly gorgeous to think this way.
 
I am just going to break this down for you from a parental perspective,
and maybe you will not agree and I am totally cool with you not agreeing with my views and beliefs, hopefully in that case we can just be mature enough to agree to disagree.
 
With that said,
as a parent I am going make my plea on your worthiness.
 
Imagine your child is growing up and learning about what is good, bad, how to do things, what responsibility, truth is, what love is and is not.
 
Imagine your child makes mistakes. Gets into fights with peers, has opinions that you and others disagree with, experiments with things that you may not want them too, does not always tell you the truth, even bullies other kids or is harsh in judgments about other kids or people. Mocks people.
 
Does this make you love your child any less?
Does this make them NOT worthy of your love or support?
Does this make them less of human to you and worthy of you taking away your love, condemning and shaming them?
 
Imagine your child looses friendships, has heartbreak over their first love, suffers pain in relationships, fears not getting it right, fears not fitting in, fears telling you how they feel. Imagine they hate their bodies, feel misunderstood, outcast.
Imagine they don’t feel safe in some fashion at home or school, in their relationships. They believe that the world is out to get them and they must close themselves off from it to stay safe and make you happy.
 
Does this make your child more worthy of your love?
Does this show their faith in your love and support?
Does this prove their worth, their self-love, their personal power, confidence, self-esteem? Does it build those things?
 
Imagine you have a child that comes to you and says this is my dreams and desires. This is what I feel inside. This is what I want to do with my life and why. Imagine that they say I know that I have made mistakes, that i am not perfect but I know that I am lovable, that you ( mom/dad) have my back, I know that I have better in me and I want to show my heart to this world. I want to experience life and give back. I believe that people are good and we are all worthy of love and greatness. Imagine that this child is working two part time jobs and helping out people in need, that they have big opinions and they speak about what they are good with and what they are not good with. Imagine that they count their blessings. Imagine that this child looks you in the eye and says, ” I know that you don’t want me to suffer. You want the best for me and if I don’t want the best for myself and show my love for myself by standing up and being my best that I not only hurt myself but I hurt your heart too mom/dad.”
Imagine that this child goes out and becomes a a millionaire when grown.
 
Does this make you love your child less?
Does this mean that your child is a greedy, selfish a*shole who does not care about anything but money and self?
Does this mean that your child has been brainwashed into the evil ways of this world and they are a disappointment to you?
Does this mean that you will retract your love from this child because they are not bowing their head and feeling bad or suffering enough?
Does this mean that their happiness and success is a sign that they have sold their soul to the devil and are dishonoring their faith, their family, themselves?
 
OF COURSE NOT!
 
That’s crap, right?
 
So why are you letting yourself think this about your life?
Why are you buying into the concept that your suffering and loss,
your lack of cash flow,
your depression, body image issues, your guilt, your fear, your lost-ness is some sign of your greatness in God’s eye’s.
 
Why are you believing that it is pleasing to God to watch you suffer and that those who are living abundant lives are displeasing to God?
 
I am sorry…
(not really)
 
You are dishonoring God and yourself beautiful,
by NOT stepping the f-ck up to who you are and your worthiness.
 
You are dishonoring God’s great work in you by settling for so little and such unhappiness.
 
You are dishonoring God and his belief in you by continuing to remain available for the crap that you set yourself up for in the name of faith in suffering.
 
You are not being your best and therefore not only causing suffering to your heart but as well to God.
 
I believe that we are microcosm’s of the divine.
The things that we feel when we are coming from a pure heart and soul with our children and the things that we want for our children are the same that God wants for us.
 
A healthy, emotionally mature adult parent who is confident and strong in who they are DOES NOT want to see their baby suffer.
Does not believe that their child suffering is better then their child thriving.
Does not think that if their kid gets a good paying job or is strong in who they are that they are less worthy of love or are doing evil things.
 
Yet, for some reason in today’s world many adults are putting this same judgement out there on their peers who want to THRIVE in all areas.
 
These adults pretend to be holier then thou and are quick to point to their sufferings of years to proclaim that this is evidence of their worthiness and faith, all the while pointing fingers of blame, shame and hatred with remarks of judgement out to anyone who shares a message of abundance, self-love, personal empowerment and joy.
 
Silliness.
 
And perhaps, you do not agree with me.
Perhaps you are one of those souls that I am speaking of here today.
Perhaps you believe that the path of suffering is what God wants for you/us.
Perhaps you believe that it is a sad thing to witness people making money from what they love to do and feel called to do.
Perhaps you think that people laughing, traveling, talking about love, connected sex, relationships, money is evil.
 
Maybe you believe that using the “F” word will send God into rage and cancel out all your blessings and shows one’s lack of faith and love in the creator.
 
Perhaps…
 
And perhaps, the opposite is true instead.
 
Perhaps you are among those of us who believe that we are worthy of greatness and abundance,
that God wants us to THRIVE here in this mortal existence and to speak to those ears that listen. No matter the words.
 
The message of YOUR WORTHINESS and POWER and that you are LOVED is what matters.
 
Your beautiful SOUL being let fly is what is of value.
Your HEART seen and felt.
 
Yes.
Perhaps beautiful you BELIEVE IN YOURSELF and in God.
 
And have chosen to turn your back on the nay sayers and fear bots that try and stain your faith with doubt.
 
Perhaps.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
https://www.tantrictransformation.com/micro-consult/
– Accepting applications for 1:1 private clients for a limited time.
 
 

Stop Dishonoring Your Soul – It Knows Who You Truly Are and What Step’s Will Make You Happy.

My heart bleeds for all of us in this world.
As a coach through the years I have heard so many tales of horror, of trauma, abuse and misunderstandings.
I have witnessed so many unable to stand in their truth,
scared to speak up for themselves,
and allowing others to run all over them in so many areas of their lives.
For the last 10+ years I have had my practice focused on sex and relationship coaching, helping singles and couples. Couples work has been a passion for me however.

Today my coaching practice has moved more into abundance and prosperity coaching thanks to my beautiful clients who requested my focus to change as they noticed that they would come to me to heal their communication, intimacy and relationship challenges and they had the side benefit of watching their lives change in their finances as well.
They discovered that in doing work around their intimate relationships that they were also lacking in other subject areas and what I was teaching them about their intimacy and sex also applied to money and purpose.

Well, here I am today in 2019,
with a beautiful practice and lovely clients who I adore so much and find myself in gratitude for daily. I woke this morning feeling a wobble in my energy around my practice, in what direction I wanted to focus RIGHT NOW, what was needed from me, where was I to step next to best help these souls that I share with daily and in truth I was lost.

God is amazing I have found.
Always getting those who desire to be in alignment back on path softly when we remain open to the messages.

And so my day has brought me full circle.
Wobble has drifted off and I feel directed, guided and clearer.
Back to where I have ALWAYS been.
No niche!

My niche is SOUL!

And today my message is just about that.

SOUL Niche is where it is at BABY!

I have heard my own mentor speak about no niche,
and I logically got what she was saying and truly believed that I was doing just that,
but today something different has come up from the sea of knowledge and I get it a tad bit more as to what she means when she say’s no niche.

I am a “SOUL Solutions Coach” helping people move through the miscommunications that this world causes for us in ALL subjects of our life.

Bringing it back to humanness.
Bringing it back to love.
Bring it back to what is right will feel right and will not carry with it anger or hatred but love and connection.

When we come into any subject in our lives from SOUL and not ego,
we do not feel threatened,
we do not feel like we must prove anything,
we do not have a desire to control,
to blame, guilt or shame.
And we do not hold putrid thoughts and feelings toward anyone on this planet because their truth is not our truth and they choose to speak it in any fashion.

SOUL is respect for all humans beliefs, ways of being, and showing up.

SOUL is focused on building trust by not attacking with words or actions.

SOUL understands that each individual has boundaries and that we don’t have to agree with them but we do need to respect them.

SOUL understands that our words and actions play a significant role on the emotional, physiological, spiritual and physical bodies of self and others.

SOUL knows that our life is not about segregation but instead unity. Between people and subjects in our lives.

SOUL is about being captivated. Not by control or shame or anything other than SOUL – This being captivated means that you will feel CALLED to what you need, to the steps that you should take, to the lessons that you are to learn and toward love and gratitude, beauty and worthiness.

And so I come full circle today to the realization that I had so many years back,

“One Heart – One Soul”

This is how our world elevates its consciousness.
This is how we elevate our individual lives in all subjects.
To truly understand Namaste.

“I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth, of light, and of peace. When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, we are one.”

And honoring the light of SOUL is all that we can ever do in some situations as some individuals are eaten up by hatred, fear of their own light and worthiness and desire to control, manipulate and terrify those they claim to love, those they desire to be like and those that test their beliefs and fears.

Still, the most beautiful thing that any of us can ever off is just this HONOR of SOUL.

Speak from here beautiful.
Look from here.
Touch from here.
Communicate from here.

Ignore the fear that your ego will toss before you on this path,
ignore the concept that anyone is better than another,
ignore the concept that you must bow to them and let them have their way even if they are the one you wake next too each morning.

Because the act of hatred will never be love.
The act of taking will never be love.
The act of shaming will never be love.
The act of blaming will never be love.

So never settle or allow yourself to believe that it is.
You are WORTHY.
You are LOVE.

Namaste

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

The Power of the Sensual Feminine in Her Wild Woman State.

To all the ladies in the house….
To all you mama’s,
you grandmama’s,
you sexy, confident queen’s.
 
Today I share from my feminine sensual heart to you directly.
Today I speak to that turned on,
ignited,
passionate woman who know’s who she is at her core and who know’s her worthiness to receive the riches of this life she is living.
 
Yes YOU Beautiful!
 
Woman to woman,
lets get real.
Let’s talk about the embracing of our sensual feminine and how beautifully powerful this is,
how scary as f-ck it can be,
and some about the shaming and misinterpretations of what it all means and how it is perceived.
 
Many a moon ago, I was reading the book Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. If you are unfamiliar with this book it is stories and myths of the wild woman archetype, I was in my early twenties, living in Seattle with my husband then. I was in the middle of my second pregnancy. I was feeling trapped, fatigued, lost in myself. I would look in the mirror at my ever changing body and hate what I saw but at the same time appreciate the power of my womb. I loved being a mother, but disliked the then assumed fact that I had lost my sexiness. I had lost my feminine sensuousness and appeal.
 
No matter how much my husband tried to affirm my beauty,
his desire or anything else,
I could not hear him because what the world showed me and I had been taught from my own mother was that motherhood was far from sexy and being a mother meant that you had to put away your desire of anything such. Reserve it for a random few times a month at best, in the dark, and without too much noise because the children must not know of pleasure or intimacy or their mother’s desire to be ignited.
 
This hiding from who I was at my core,
destroyed my self-esteem. It captured my soul and prevented me from speaking my truth in any area of my life and I felt shame anytime I received a compliment or a flirty smile or look from a man. I could not even play sensually with my spouse without feeling guilt over accidentally being seen.
 
What would people think?
I must be being a bad mother example if I let this aspect of myself out.
 
So here I was with this wild woman resting within me,
wanting to be revealed but fearing the loss of everything that felt suffocating but strangely comfortable and safe, should I let her dance the way she wanted.
 
At my soul core I KNEW that if I were to truly be who I was unapologetically that the world would not support. That the feminine itself would want to burn me at the stake and the masculine would want to try and domesticate with control.
 
I knew that if I revealed my sensual,
that if I allowed my voice to sing,
my feet to dance,
my skirts to twirl and my pleasure to be seen that the radiance would call in the darkest of armies to slash at it and cast stones to quiet its truth. Yet, this wild woman within, she was so hungry, she was fierce in her desire to be unmasked, unchained.
 
And as the years passed, I would experiment with the loosening of her leash.
 
To my dismay,
there I was a decade later,
now with five children I was raising,
living in Dallas,
coming out of a two+ year deep depression and total give up of life and power,
looking at my life and seeing this wild woman at the end of her rope,
still fierce and full of vitality,
she was straining in her fight for not her life but MINE.
She was committed to not let me go any longer in my suffering,
and she broke free of her chains.
 
As the chains dropped to the earth, she slowly regained her balance and at first treaded with caution the waters of the life that I had created in fear of being seen and heard. Focused and determined though was she to breathe life back into my sails, and teach me of this radiance that I was worthy of.
 
Unleashed she opened me to the bliss of joy,
the power of laughter and authentic connection.
She unwound the ropes that held me hostage of living in integrity, the misguided ideas of always aiming for perfection and the pleasing of everyone else.
 
The wild woman brought to me the mirror of self-compassion and as I viewed it and stepped into all the places that I had chosen to abandon her and myself, I was brought into the dance of forgiveness. With each step of deep healing work I found myself learning myself,
perhaps for the very first time,
but a learning that it was never expected of me to be superhuman. It was never expected of me to hide my light,
my voice, my heart from this world and most especially from my children or self.
 
As I moved further into the embrace of the wild woman,
I discovered that her rage that she could move passionately into was not a rage of evil to fear but it was her wanting to purify the untruth that had been dumped on me at youth and supported by my belief in it.
 
Her pain that she expressed in my darkest hours of not listening, was not evil or lost, it was pain that was begging for the embrace of love. Not a love that could be given from anyone other than self.
 
With each step on this new journey of the wild woman,
I discovered that this archetype was there to teach me not to fear my sensual feminine but to embrace it as the life giving, creative energy that it was intended to be.
 
The rapes and abuse that was once perceived to be caused by the revealing of the sensual feminine was not that at all, but instead the allowance of my shame and guilt that attempted to make this energy docile and weak. Because it was feared by my veil to my truth and perceived dangerous.
 
Another decade has be lived and two more babies born since this unchaining has occurred and with in many more lessons of self- expansion has happened. Some may view some of these lessons as traumatic and even myself in the moments of experience would agree,
some moments were breathtaking as I was blessed to bask in the presence of the divine you could say.
 
Moments of allowing the wild woman to embrace me during deep expanding sex, where my heart exploded and the smell of roses would waft up from the moments of soul union and intimacy.
 
Blessed was I as I let her take the lead a bit further in my life.
Blessed because I learned that love although sometimes a pain that can not be touched by any other, is still the blessing that God wants us to know we are worthy of.
 
Blessed because she lead me with this fierce love to a deeper level of self knowing and an encouragement to open up to the sensual energy of play.
 
Blessed because she removed more veils in her dance,
allowing me to see clearer with each passing year,
that the wild woman that I once feared was the a warrior angel who always believed in my worthiness and heart.
 
Her leading steps,
her powerful emotion,
her dedication to my reveal,
was the breath that God and spirit had sent to me,
to claim my truth as the sensual feminine.
Though some still perceive it as dangerous.
And some view it with disgust as they call out in their poisonous toned words of shame, anger and fear of the unknown.
 
The thing that I have learned from her that I cherish the most,
is that all the bile that others may throw comes not from who I am or what they perceive me to be but is instead is the venom that they poison themselves with because they fear WHOM THEY COULD BE.
 
The disgust that one may cast toward another is only a mirror reflection of how they feel about themselves.
 
 
And so beautiful mama,
grandmama and mama in waiting.
No matter where you are in this dance called life,
know that you too are born to be wild,
born to be sensual,
to be wise and strong,
to be love,
and to be seen and heard.
 
That face,
that soul and that voice.
Has a message for this world.
But the message that the world has been blessed to give to you is that God wants you to CLAIM WHO YOU ARE.
 
Never hide or lower your eye’s to those who speak tongues of evil no mater how pretty their faith may appear, or their words sound.
 
You beautiful mama are a queen.
You hold within you the seeds of the universe,
the energy of creation,
the power of life.
 
May you take today’s message and feel your strength,
not in your shield of fear,
but in that crown that is upon your head and power of your sensual feminine.
 
Dance Beautiful Wild Woman.
Dance Beautiful Mama.
Dance and let your Joy Be Seen.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living.
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
 
We start in a little over a week!
Will you be embracing your Unstoppable Power this summer?
 
Join myself and tribe of beautiful queens as we pick up our crowns and make it our time to fly.
 
Section One 4 weeks: Owning Your Power
No More Good Girl Holdbacks!
Let Go, Let Go, Allow!
Letting Go of Perfectionism, Activating Authenticity
Desire is my GPS.
 
Section Two 4 week: Lifestyle Design
No More Dry P*ssy Face.
Increased Pleasure Threshold
Comfort to Miracles
Manifesting with Ease & Grace
 
Section Three 4 weeks: Money, Sex & Men
Knowing Your Abundance Key’s
Saying Yes to Your Orgasm ( In life and the bedroom)
Men Are Just Desserts
Manifesting Your Unstoppable Power
 
Grab you spot Today!
Early Bird Saving Still Apply.
Six 1:1 sessions with me plus 12 weeks of unstoppable power activation.