They Are Called Your Emotions For A Reason.

THEY ARE CALLED YOUR EMOTIONS FOR A REASON.

 

Truth Bomb Here.

Are you like most of the world that believe that others are responsible for your emotional state,

for the feelings that YOU are having about any subject in your life?

 

Or are you self-aware enough and proactive enough to understand that they are YOUR emotions, meaning that YOU and only you are responsible for them.

 

No one else can make you feel any way.

You get to choose how you feel about something.

You get to choose how you react to something.

You CHOOSE.

 

This is by far one of the most challenging things to grasp in life,

We are taught that we need to act, speak and even think through everything in ways to not harm or cause anyone else to feel bad.

We are told that we are not good enough,

that we are too much,

that we are RESPONSIBLE for how others feel about themselves,

about situations and how they perceive us.

 

And yes,

to a degree we are responsible.

Our actions and words most certainly can trigger other’s into a negative or positive spiral.

Our actions do contribute to how we are perceived.

 

But we are not solely responsible for another’s feels, views or perceptions.

 

We each have an ability to be proactive in our thinking,

which leads to us being proactive in our feeling,

and to pause before we assume anything.

 

Becoming self-aware means to become authentic with self.

It means that we are willing to get real and raw with ourselves, and to acknowledge that anothers words or actions have only triggered an old program or wound,

and once triggered that we are now feeling this old emotion as though it is current.

 

The insecurities that we hold about ourselves,

the hatred that we have for ourselves,

the self- judgement, and shame…

All of these play a role in our emotions that can get triggered by an event or person.

 

But these internal landscapes that we all have,

are not another’s responsibility to cautiously thread through.

It is each of our own responsibility to self and to our lives,

to do the deep personal work to heal and become aware of.

 

If we do not do our own inner work,

then we are destined to walk through life feeling disempowered,

feeling a victim,

not understood and always attacked.

We will continue to view life as though we have no control and point fingers in blame at those we love,

at life experiences,

our governments, churches, schools, work.

 

However, when we choose to get real with self,

to practice self- love, healthy boundaries, knowing our desire’s, speaking our truth and RELEASING OURSELVES from the responsibility of everyone else’s feelings,

as well as taking responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings and actions,

we become EMPOWERED.

 

By doing this, we walk through life with less shame, guilt, blame, judgement on self or others and we approach life from a healthier state of relating.

 

We can now speak in confidence our needs,

state clearly our yes and no and also accept another’s

without falling into an old wound or fear and needing to control an outcome.

 

We release the world and especially our loved one’s from the driver’s seat of our lives.

 

They are called your emotions for a reason.

They are all your’s.

 

And when we had them over to someone else,

we hold an expectation that the other person will and “should” always put us before them.

 

And if they do not,

then we are hurt and feel as though they do not love us, that they are selfish and heartless,

that we are not safe with them.

 

When in fact,

what we are asking for by turning over our power to another,

by making them responsible for our emotions is what is self-centered.

 

And if the other does always hold us before them,

guarding us and never letting us feel any uncomfort,

then what they are doing is hiding themselves from us.

The relationship is NOT authentic.

We have successfully required this other person, to mute themselves, change who they are, pretend at all cost and hide from us and themselves,

so that we can feel secure.

 

How is this love?

How is this respect?

How is this authentic relating?

 

 

It’s NOT.

 

Life is a risk.

24/7 you risk if you are breathing.

 

Security…

Safety…

It’s an illusion.

 

Love is risky.

And you can choose to lean into it and enjoy its bliss however long it lasts,

or you can shut it down and try and control it so that you can live in a mirage for however long it lasts.

One allows for growth and truth.

The other, causes bitterness and wounds that may never get repaired between people.

 

Which do you choose?

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn how you can move into a truly authentic, loving relationship and heal the wounds of your past so you can have a F-ck Yes life and relationship?

 

Message me today for deet’s on global and local coaching now.

 

Throne-tood! – Get Some.

Throne-tood!

It’s a THING.

And it’s a thing that you gotta get some of if you want to have the life that you claim that you want.

 

We have been raised to have shame over loving ourselves.

We have been raised to believe that it is wrong or even bad to think highly of ourselves,

or to brag.

And it is “selfish” ( meaning bad) to ask for what we want, need or desire.

 

But instead the correct path to happiness is to look like this so we have been raised to believe…

 

Talk like shit about yourself,

hate on your body,

on your thoughts,

in your life.

 

Be SUPER effing critical about everything and never admit to your glory.

 

Downplay everything good and hype up everything that is not perfect in your life.

 

Make sure that you are NEVER offending everyone else,

because YOU….

yes you are  responsible for everyone else’s feelings, ideas, perceptions, thoughts and actions,

so make sure to never mess up or have an opinion that does not match whomever you are with.

 

Put others before yourself at all costs.

Exhaust yourself and keep giving,

but don’t bitch that you are at your breaking point.

 

Suck it up.

Don’t show your emotions,

any of them but “blase.”

Indifference is the best path,

even if it’s not true.

 

Your anger,

your sadness,

your joy,

hide because it is too effing much for the world around you.

 

Fear everything.

And know that you are most likely at fault for the crap no matter what,

and if it’s not you then feel offended instantly,

if anyone says different or God forbid

goes against all of these rules of how to live a happy successful life.

 

And just be happy with it already,

‘cus this baby is what life is all about.

 

This is living the dream.

This is success.

 

F-cking crazy as all hell is’nt it?

I mean when I write it out  like that,

unless you are blind, dumb and stupid,

then you have to admit that anyone who actually thinks or feels this way is NEVER going to be thriving,

going to experience success or empowerment,

never going to feel confident.

Most likely only be used and hurt frequently,

will have a crappy backbone,

will not know themselves or anyone else for that matter,

and will simply not ever touch happiness.

 

So what is the answer?

 

Get a f-cking THRONE-TOOD!

 

There I said it.

It is high time that you started to value yourself.

Claiming your life, ‘calling in your blessings,

being a conscious co-creator,

manifesting a life that is full of wonder, love and success,

REQUIRES YOU TO PUT YOUR CROWN ON.

 

 

As long as you keep disrespecting God’s glory and power and not allowing his power and will to move through your life,

then you will keep falling prey to this stinking thinking love.

 

As long as you keep believing that God wants you to walk looking down at the ground,

tripping in misery over all that you have lost and ignoring the joy that your life could be,

then you will never feel the wonder of walking with you head held high,

your eyes meeting others in unconditional love and acceptance,

or the witnessing of the miracles that happen daily,

IN YOUR LIFE.

 

As long as you keep being available for scarcity,

and never picking up that crown that God has handed you,

then you will continue to suffer by your own hand.

 

And you will forever remain a slave to the enemy known as fear.

 

Oh, beautiful, don’t you see the path that you are too walk.

Can you not feel the call in your soul?

 

Now in our world we need more than ever before for you to RISE UP….

SPEAK UP…

LIGHT UP….

 

But that means that you have to accept that many who choose to remain in darkness and pain will be disgusted by your choice.

 

They will call you names,

they will hate on you and shame you,

they will want to tear you down in any way they can,

and they will make you doubt your path.

 

It will require you to have courage,

to love yourself more than you thought possible and to walk in FAITH.

 

And if you choose to step away from the many who still remain in fear,

if you choose to instead embrace your power,

and the love that the universe/God has for you,

then your life will be one of bliss and glory.

 

And THAT…

THAT is what we are each to do.

That is how we celebrate life,

honor God,

and THRIVE.

 

Are you ready, love?

Are you ready to finally say F-ck Yes! to yourself and your dreams and stop making excuses and sharing the thousands of reasons as to why you cannot do/be/have?

But instead just step firmly in faith on this path before you that is calling you?

 

Are you ready to stop giving your power just lip service but acting in faith on it?

 

I can tell you that many people say they are light workers,

they claim to be abundant,

they proclaim their faith,

and they say they believe in magic and miracles,

they even proudly state that they get manifesting and that they are powerful manifestors….

 

and they are.

For sure.

 

But, if you are struggling,

if you are suffering,

if you are feeling lost, tired and lonely…

 

Then baby, you are not really claiming your crown.

If you are not happy, (truly)

then you still have not figured it out,

and it YOU that this is written for.

It is you that need to KNOW YOUR WORTH.

 

It’s time to pick that crown up and have a THRONE-TOOD….

Because the life that you want for DEMANDS IT!

 

So Get One.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to step forward and say yes to your crown love?

Ready to stop being available for suffering, pain and misfortune?

 

Let’s speak today about no more reasons and excuses,

and get that crown picked up and put where it rightfully goes.

 

Message for deet’s.

Let’s Get Real About What Define The Relationship Really Means.

 

“I like you pretty good, let’s see where this goes.”

 

Maybe I have commitment issues some would say,

and I have been told this from past lovers.

They were convinced that because I refused to be labeled,

because I refused to DTR ( define the relationship) that I was not good with commitment.

 

They could not just accept my looks of love and desire for what they were.

They could not accept the sweet and tender vulnerable moments shared for what they were,

They could not just go with the passion shared and the hours and days or even weeks spent enthralled with each other.

 

No, they wanted the MF LABEL.

And for some reason, the label is what made everything real.

Not the actual effing relationship that was presenting itself each day, each moment.

No, they could not trust that.

They needed the words spoken,

just how they wanted to hear them too mind you,

for it to actually be real.

 

Nothing mattered but the label.

 

And because I am a person who understands what labels are actually about,

I have a really tough time getting down with defining any relationship for that matter.

 

And here is why.

 

You see labels and definitions of relationships have NOTHING to do with love or commitment for that matter.

 

They don’t have anything to do with trust either,

and they are not offering any more security for either party as well.

 

What they do is allow us to compartmentalize the relationship, cause separation because now we segregate this relationship from the rest of our lives.

 

Labels allow us to define what the relationship “should” look and feel like. How it “should” play out and what the expectations are within the pretty little box that we have put it into allows for.

 

Labels are often asked for because one party or both are wanting validation for their existence and level of importance in the relationship.

 

This validation gives a false sense of security.

Which makes the partners feel safe and believe that NOW since the relationship has been properly defined that neither party will step out of the box that it has been filed in.

 

And that is what DTR is all about folks.

Validation of self through another, false security and control.

 

Because with this DTR what we are wanting is the safety ultimately of knowing ( well believing) that our partner is now “OUR PROPERTY” as defined by the label provided.

And of course they are down with abiding by the rules of this definition.

 

Funny little note, most people just assume that other people’s definitions and rules of the label are exactly what their own are and never stop to discuss these important things with the person that they are trying to do a relationship with and get a label on.

 

In my opinion,

(and maybe…. just maybe… I have worked with just a few couples over the last few decades) that one of the major reasons so many couples are not satisfied or in full alignment with their partner is because they miss this vitally important conversation on the front side.

 

The conversation around, “Why do you do relationships? And what are your needs/desires/expectations within a relationship?”

 

Can you imagine if we started having these inquiries between ourselves and our lovers?

 

And what if….

what if our lovers answered authentically.

 

OMFG! That would be amazing.

But often because so many have limited worth and self- esteem issues,

they find themselves needing to feel safe through the validation of their partner instead and therefore answer accordingly to get the result that they want from their partner instead of being truthful and having a truly intimate conversation around their differences.

 

All relationships at some point come to a place where the definition sorta just manifests organically.

But it is an energy that a couple will grow into as time and depth in the relationship is established,

not some words stated because partners feel pressure from what they have been told is important to ask for come date three or month six, or whatever the f-ck timeline you are working on.

 

If you are among the many people out there that feels that need the label to lean and trust more,

or to not have your jealousy anymore,

or to be able to be more vulnerable or intimate with your partner,

and believes that the label is a sign of love,

then you truly need to explore what your definition of love really is about.

 

And ask yourself if this label is truly what you are wanting or if you are actually requesting to set up agreements with your partner as to what your relationship rules are and are not.

 

Then ask yourself how this desire to label and set up these tidy little box homes for your relationship to get cramped in is actually serving the relationship or your supposed love for this other person?

 

What if you became extremely present with your partner and chose to focus on all their good traits each time you were together?

 

What if instead of fearing them doing something that might destroy the relationship, you chose to commit to look for how well they are showing up in it right now and how much beauty you are enjoying with them right now?

 

What if you opted to actually practice authentic unconditional love with them and just wanted to enjoy them in all their radiance because your desire for them was to be that person who can hold loving space without a need to contain their soul and own them?

 

What if you chose to just allow them to be them and you to be you?

 

What if you choose consciously to come into the relationship each new day as though it was a new relationship that you were excited and appreciative of?

 

What if you started to define your relationship by saying,

” I like you pretty good, let’s see where this goes.”

 

Can you imagine how much more depth, love, compassion, witnessing, love, trust, and joy would come through your partner and the relationship?

 

Or continue on your path,

you know the one.

The one that has you believing that controlling your partner and defining your relationship and owning them as property in any f-cking fashion is LOVE.

 

And enjoy all the trauma that creates and the broken expectations and pain.

 

Because that is the result when we attempt to control the human spirit and not allow others to live authentically.

 

Not to mention,

When we do this it is only supporting our fear and at our core we feel the out of alignment that is caused with God and our soul.

 

Level Up Your Love Now.

 

And Remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to level up your relationship or learn more on authentic relating skills that can rekindle, ignite and bring average relationships into Enlightened?

 

Reach out to me about my Passion Coaching for Couples Program today.

To The Man Who’s Sleeping With My Wife.

Adobe Stock Photo.
Dear Brother –
I am in joy. I am also scared.
First, thank you.
Thank you for showing up in her life in the way that you have. You’ll be exchanging eye gazes, sweet energy, laughter, meals, and touch with her. I know this will bring her joy. And her joy is my joy. I know it’s hard to believe, but the freedom for her to explore with you is evidence of my unconditional love for her.
To me, true love means wishing for my beloved to be fulfilled in every possible way, even if that fulfillment comes with some emotional work for me.
You see, we men have existed in a double standard narrative for thousands of years. Men have been mostly respected (or at least tolerated) for having more than one lover. Women have been slut-shamed, punished, and even murdered in some countries for loving more than one.
There is a revolution of this narrative taking place and we can join this wave of change together.
Brother, you are something I can never be. You are other. You are her novelty, her adventure. You are not me. When she shares her life story with you (the story I know oh so well) she will have the chance to be mirrored back with a new
curiosity.
And that feels amazing for me to know.
To try to take this experience away from her would be to exercise a conditional love, a selfish love. If exploring new love can bring her immense joy, then who am I to interfere? Conventional love is conditional love. It says… “I love you, except for this one condition: I will not share you for as long as you are with me.”
So I choose unconventional love, which says… “I love you unconditionally, therefore, your joy is my joy, even if that joy does not come from me.”
If you are reading this, then you likely have shown up in my life as a true brother, open-hearted and caring. She wouldn’t have it any other way. You honor the roots she and I have intertwined and the commitments we have made
to each other. Like us, you’ve done the work to transcend most of your conditioned insecurities.
You’ve aligned yourself with the idea that our core human needs (certainty, love, significance, variety, growth and service) are served by the ideal that we all have the capacity to love more than one, if we do so in a conscious way.
She is a divine feminine goddess. She is beautiful inside and out. She lights up any room she walks into. Her heart is enormous. She is committed to her own personal growth and to leaving this world better than she found it.
She is a woman that I am sworn to protect, yet one that I do not possess.
Despite my patriarchal conditioning, keeping all of her goodness to myself would be a sin. I have chosen the path less traveled in that I honor her freedom to radiate out love and take in love, to be seen for all the good that she is, by other than just me. This freedom means more mirrors to mirror back, which leads to more growth, more healing, and more service for her to experience. All of this makes me happy to imagine.
Still, I am scared.
The little boy in me is scared of being abandoned. The high school kid who was dumped by his girlfriend for the star soccer player right before Prom. And the man who lost two big loves to other men on this road less traveled. This is my wounding.
I am keenly aware that there are many wounded men out there who have not been able to show up for women in the ways they need to flourish. I am afraid that someone new may upset all the healing work we’ve done together, or worse, re-wound her. While I don’t know you well (yet) and only time will tell, I trust that everything will unfold the way it’s meant to unfold. I also trust in her judgment.
I persist with this love-style because it remains my deepest truth. I push forward with the faith that there are others out there (hopefully you) who share in our freedom to love more than one for life. Others who no longer wish to exist in a competitive landscape of disposable relationships or a “zero-sum game” where one’s gain is often another’s loss.
Brother, we are not adversaries, nor are we competing for the heart of this woman. You know this. Her heart belongs to no one but her. This goddess, with her free will, gets to choose how to share her space and her time. If you are ever confused, scared, or not fully expressed, please know that you’re in good company. It will always be my intention to uphold a safe container that is full of heart-centered, open, peaceful communication for everyone involved.
So I thank you for the joy. I thank you for coming into her (and my) world, and I ask that we see each other, love each other, and build our brotherhood from our common ground… this beautiful soul. While nothing is expected from you, I do wish to know you, learn from you, and share with you. I look forward to playing together, creating together and exploring all possibilities in friendship.
AND thank you for scaring me.
Thank you for allowing me to do the work I still need to do. I am human and am still shedding the discomforts that we’ve all been conditioned to carry for many generations. It is my mission to release these discomforts and I am grateful to have you (and her) on this journey with me. Thank you in advance for being patient and for being gentle with me.
Treat her well, brother. She is worthy of and will expect nothing but excellent care, high-quality love, and mindful communication. One benefit of our love-style is that no one gets to settle for mediocrity or complacency. We all are motivated to grow each day and show up as the best versions of ourselves.
Lastly, please remember this: your joy is also my joy. Genuinely.
Love,
Your Brother,
* This essay is a companion to my love’s Letter To The Woman Whose Man I’m Sleeping With. Both letters were inspired by the exquisitely vulnerable essay “A Letter To The Women Who Sleep With My Man” by Wilrieke Sophia. Visit https://freelovediaries.com/all-entries/ for more.
Here to serve,
xoxo
Shai Fishman from LEVELED UP LOVE

Hi, I Am Kendal’s P-ssy and THIS Is My Tale.

Hi, I am Kendal’s P-ssy….

I have a story to share with you.

It is my personal tale of a p-ssies struggles and come back to love and orgasm.

 

When Kendal was a small girl,

she discovered me. She loved to explore me and learn all about me in the shower and it felt wonderful.

We were so bonded and comfortable with each other,

and as Kendal grew and became a young adult,

she could hear me speaking to her about everything that I felt was good for us. She listened to some of my words and sought to help me have some of my desires,

but then one day Kendaal met a young man that I absolutely adored.

This young man knew how to treat Kendal.

He looked at her with eye full of love,

he touched her skin with the same adoration.

And months down the road she allowed him to touch me too.

 

It was an exciting day.

I can still feel those first touches.

I had never been seen by a boy before like this,

I had never been allowed to be touched by anyone other than Kendal until now,

and here he was.

 

Loving on me.

Delicately.

Focused.

and passionate.

 

I grew so hungry for the boy to do more than just touch me,

but he was respecting Kendal and wanted to move slowly.

And let me tell you,

He moved slowly.

It took him a year to finally make sweet love to us,

and when he did,

He remained in us for hours.

Rubbing, touching, kissing and sucking.

It was a loving moment and I felt so free and open.

I never wanted to part ways with this young man,

and Kendal was so happy,

so full of sexual light.

And confidence.

They shared dreams and ideas of the future,

talked as though thousands of years would go by with them together.

 

I was so excited about the endless possibilities of what they were discussing.

 

But one day,

the boy changed his mind.

He decided that he needed to venture out into the world without us. He kissed Kendal goodbye after lunch and vanished without a word.

 

Kendal cried for months,

she felt so lost and in agony over this relationship.

She became upset with me too in the process and blamed me for the pain that her heart was feeling.

So she distanced herself from me,

she did not touch me.

She did not want to have anyone else touch me.

She felt trapped in her surroundings and lost at her core.

 

A few months went by and all she could think of was escaping the world that she was existing in.

She met a man a decade older than her,

she could tell he had eyes for her and that is all that mattered.

She knew he was her ticket out of this mess that she was in.

And so she acted quickly and offered us up a tribute to the man,

she moaned and screamed, scratched and acted like I was enjoying it, acted like she was into it,

but I was not.

I felt saddened at her actions.

Before I knew it, the man had proposed  to her and she said yes,

I was lost at why she would do this when she did not have the feeling in her heart for him,

and I was not on board with the idea,

yet she said yes.

 

And years went by.

We had children,

and I kept being offered up for tribute,

to keep life normal and “happy” as she always said.

She believed that this is what adulting was about and that it just was.

She told us that the joy and love we shared with the boy so many years before was a fluke and that I needed to accept that we were not here to enjoy the sex anymore,

that we were here to have babies, make her husband happy and carry on.

 

And so I allowed her to use and abuse us.

But I shut myself down from the possibilities of pleasure,

I could not feel her heart anymore,

all I could feel was her anger and hatred.

 

Until, one day a man who was a friend of theirs started flirting with her. He grabbed her hand one afternoon and kissed her palm. I got excited.

I began to heat up and throb.

I was screaming,  “Do you feel that?”

I wanted her to recognize the look in this man’s eyes.

It was love.

And if she would stop waring with me she could feel the warmth of it at her core.

 

I was hopeful that this man could reconnect us.

And I pushed for her to do what she never thought possible,

go outside her marriage and tap back into me.

 

And she did.

And there were some fun adventures,

until that crazy mind of hers kicked back into the driver’s seat and told her to feel shame and guilt,

that her sex did not matter and that she was evil for venturing off and listening to me.

 

And so she locked us out again.

She blamed us for even more pain and loss in her life.

And we carried on being offered up as tribute to her husband for a decade more.

 

Over the years I went to work on other aspects of her,

trying to get them to side with me,

trying to get them to connect with me so that we could get her to listen to the fact that she was walking down the wrong path in her life and that the happiness that she craved and desired,

was never going to happen under these conditions of trauma.

And FINALLY I had a breakthrough with her intestines.

We devised a plan that would certainly cause her to pay attention….

 

One day while at an event with friends,

when she was laughing and masking her pain with alcohol we set our plan into action.

The intestines began to bleed everywhere!

She had white shorts on and was in a crowd of strangers and friends,

it was perfect.

She panicked.

She knew it was not me bleeding from her period,

and she knew it was serious.

It was a sobering moment for Kendal.

We had her attention.

And with some discovery she uncovered that she was now suffering from Crohn’s Disease.

 

She spent the next few years focusing on her body,

on her health, on her thoughts,

and even though she still ignored me,

she was on the right path to coming back into communication with me and after doing everything that she could to heal,

she came to the conclusion,  (thanks to me who made sure to kick Crohn’s into high gear after sex frequently) that there was alink between her sex, her p-ssy (me) and the disease.

 

And so she went back to her roots,

she went back to what the boy from so many years before had taught her,

to thier conversations about sex, body and soul.

And she realized that what she needed was sexual healing.

That all these years she had been living in her sexual shadow,

disconnected from who she really was and her desires,

disconnected from your intuition, her GPS (ME).

 

And one day she went to her husband and told him her discovery only to be told that she was crazy.

But, she was done with the pain and suffering.

She was done with feeling lost and moody.

She was done with pleasureless sex,

limited connection and not being happy in her life.

She was sick and tired of not living.

And she told her husband, “too bad, I am doing it anyway.”

 

And she did.

And it was amazing.

She started the very next week by connecting with a tantra coach, and she dug in deep quickly and did the emotional and psychological work that he offered her to remove the wounds and trauma and move past them, she did the physical release work to let the tension go from the body, and from me.

And she started to feel herself again.

She started to appreciate me again.

She started to love me again and feed me again with touch,

and then on day she decided that it was time to let me play some and she ventured out and found a man,

a man that looked at her the way that I like,

and she listened to me and they had beautiful intimate, healing moments,

and he opened her up to hearing me even more and feeling me more and deeper,

and from there she found more lovers for me,

and more,

and I felt loved and appreciated, full.

But all stories have some down points, right?

And so does mine.

 

One day Kendal did not listen like she should to me and she disregarded my screaming that we were in a bad situation,

and without notice a male client of hers attacked her in her office and forced himself on her,

and into us.

He had his way and she felt paraylzed in the moment during and directly following. He tossed $600 down on her limp body on the floor and said,

“Thank you for making me feel like a man.”

She wept and hid herself.

Blaming me again,

if I had not taken her down this path,

then perhaps this trauma would not have been,

she should have stayed safe,

but here she was.

And disconnected we were again.

It took her some time,

it took her some convincing from a few wonderful men that loved her deeply,

but she finally came back around and allowed me my voice again.

 

From there we have had many struggles in our communication,

we have made some wrong turns but we have many more right then wrong.

 

She has learned the value of my voice,

and when the old wounds sprout up from nowhere she sees them.

She desires to remain in connection with me,

and together we work at our loving relationship daily.

 

Today, I am happy with my journey.

I am happy with my life.

I feel the disconnect that her and I have,

as does she,

but our desire is the same.

To open and connect me fully back up to her heart where I belong,

so that we each can reap the wonderful rewards of pleasure and juicy intimacy again.

 

There have been so many moments through the years that Kendal and I have shared touching the big toe of God in our sex, feeling the bliss of an emotional orgasm as tears pour from her eye’s and I pulsate and vibrate in rapture, and swallowing up our lover to the depth of the earths core.

 

These moments are what I crave as a p-ssy.

These moments are only possible when I am connected to her heart,

and feel that she loves me and herself fully.

These moments can only occur when she is listening to me and letting guide her to the lovers that are at one with us,

and this is what makes me happy.

 

This is what all p-ssies in the world crave and desire for happiness.

 

Ladies of the world…

are you listening to her?

She has a message for you,

she wants to connect and open your heart.

Your p-ssy is your guidance, your intuition and knowing.

It is time that you reconnect and stop blaming and fearing her.

 

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn more about how you as a woman can tap back into your female GPS and power? To live a life of rapture and truth?  Message me for deet’s on just how to do this.

One World Topic – Bringing Awareness Home

Photo Credit NBC12.com

SO, WHAT HAS PROTESTING ACCOMPLISHED??

Within 10 days of sustained protests:
👉🏾 Minneapolis bans use of choke holds.

👉🏾Charges are upgraded against Officer Chauvin, and his accomplices are arrested and charged.

👉🏾Dallas adopts a “duty to intervene” rule that requires officers to stop other cops who are engaging in inappropriate use of force.

👉🏾New Jersey’s attorney general said the state will update its use-of-force guidelines for the first time in two decades.

👉🏾In Maryland, a bipartisan work group of state lawmakers announced a police reform work group.

👉🏾Los Angeles City Council introduces motion to reduce LAPD’s $1.8 billion operating budget.

👉🏾MBTA in Boston agrees to stop using public buses to transport police officers to protests.

👉🏾Police brutality captured on cameras leads to near-immediate suspensions and firings of officers in several cities (e.g., Buffalo, Ft. Lauderdale).

👉🏾Monuments celebrating confederates are removed in cities in Virginia, Alabama, and other states.

👉🏾Street in front of the White House is renamed “Black Lives Matter Plaza.”
Military forces begin to withdraw from D.C.

Then, there’s all the other stuff that’s hard to measure:

💓The really difficult public and private conversations that are happening about race and privilege.

💓The realizations some white people are coming to about racism and the role of policing in this country.

💓The self-reflection.

💓The internal battles exploding within organizations over issues that have been simmering or ignored for a long time. Some organizations will end as a result, others will be forever changed or replaced with something stronger and fairer.

Globally:

🌎 Protests against racial inequality sparked by the police killing of George Floyd are taking place all over the world.

🌎 Rallies and memorials have been held in cities across Europe, as well as in Mexico, Canada, Brazil, Australia, and New Zealand.

🌎 As the US contends with its second week of protests, issues of racism, police brutality, and oppression have been brought to light across the globe.

🌎 People all over the world understand that their own fights for human rights, for equality and fairness, will become so much more difficult to win if we are going to lose America as the place where ‘I have a dream’ is a real and universal political program,” Wolfgang Ischinger, a former German ambassador to the US, told the New Yorker.

🌎 In France, protesters marched holding signs that said “I can’t breathe” to signify both the words of Floyd, and the last words of Adama Traoré, a 24-year-old black man who was subdued by police officers and gasped the sentence before he died outside Paris in 2016.

🌎 Cities across Europe have come together after the death of George Floyd:

✊🏽 In Amsterdam, an estimated 10,000 people filled the Dam square on Monday, holding signs and shouting popular chants like “Black lives matter,” and “No justice, no peace.”

✊🏽 In Germany, people gathered in multiple locations throughout Berlin to demand justice for Floyd and fight against police brutality.

✊🏾 A mural dedicated to Floyd was also spray-painted on a stretch of wall in Berlin that once divided the German capital during the Cold War.

✊🏿 In Ireland, protesters held a peaceful demonstration outside of Belfast City Hall, and others gathered outside of the US embassy in Dublin.

✊🏿In Italy, protesters gathered and marched with signs that said “Stop killing black people,” “Say his name,” and “We will not be silent.”

✊🏾 In Spain, people gathered to march and hold up signs throughout Barcelona and Madrid.

✊🏾 In Athens, Greece, protesters took to the streets to collectively hold up a sign that read “I can’t breathe.”

✊🏾 In Brussels, protesters were seen sitting in a peaceful demonstration in front of an opera house in the center of the city.

✊🏾In Denmark, protesters were heard chanting “No justice, no peace!” throughout the streets of Copenhagen, while others gathered outside the US embassy.

✊🏾 In Canada, protesters were also grieving for Regis Korchinski-Paquet, a 29-year-old black woman who died on Wednesday after falling from her balcony during a police investigation at her building.

✊🏾 And in New Zealand, roughly 2,000 people marched to the US embassy in Auckland, chanting and carrying signs demanding justice.

💐 Memorials have been built for Floyd around the world, too. In Mexico City, portraits of him were hung outside the US embassy with roses, candles, and signs.

💐 In Poland, candles and flowers were laid out next to photos of Floyd outside the US consulate.

💐 And in Syria, two artists created a mural depicting Floyd in the northwestern town of Binnish, “on a wall destroyed by military planes.”

Before the assassination of George Floyd some of you were able to say whatever the hell you wanted and the world didn’t say anything to you…

THERE HAS BEEN A SHIFT, AN AWAKENING…MANY OF YOU ARE BEING EXPOSED FOR WHO YOU REALLY ARE. #readthatagain

Don’t wake up tomorrow on the wrong side of this issue. Its not to late to SAY,

“maybe I need to look at this from a different perspective.

Maybe I don’t know what its like to be Black in America…

Maybe, just maybe, I have been taught wrong.”

There is still so much work to be done. It’s been a really dark, raw week. This could still end badly. But all we can do is keep doing the work.

Keep protesting.

The Land Of Nobody…

Good Morning Beautiful!

How did you sleep?

Were your slumbers restful and pleasant or did they have you tossing in your bed?

 

Did you wake refreshed, vibrant and charged for this day or are you among the many of the walking dead,

those who cannot bear the idea of waking because it’s just another groundhog day?

 

Day in and day out,

the same events,

the same stories,

the same people.

 

Waking with a feeling of “why?”

And does any of it,

Especially me, even matter?

 

Looking about your life and questioning if anyone truly cares.

Or are they only there for what you have to offer,

at their convenience.

 

Yes, you know that feeling.

That feeling of,

“Nobody sees me. Nobody loves me. Nobody cares.”

 

This beautiful is the Land of Nobody.

 

And it is not a pretty place to reside.

It is not a place that you can manifest your dreams from,

it will never call into your life your ideal lover,

the money that you crave for,

the health or success.

It will never bear the fruit of happiness.

Because  you see beautiful,

the Land of Nobody,

is a fictitious land that you have created your misery from.

It is a land that you have bought into,

because it is what you feel comfortable in.

 

Oh yes,

I just said that beautiful.

 

The Land of Nobody is one that brings you comfort.

That is a hard pill to swallow I know.

But it is so true.

Just as true as it is that this land will not bring you what you claim you want for,

and most certainly will not bring you what your soul is calling you toward,

and you see THAT is exactly why you are feeling so lost in yourself,

so alone,

so unloved,

so fearful,

so unseen,

unheard,

uncared for or valued.

 

And it is from this place of “UN” that you keep calling in the evidence to support your comfort in suffering.

 

You feel all the “UN” because IT IS NOT TRUE.

 

Your soul KNOWS differently.

Your soul see’s who you really are and what your life has to offer,

but you are withholding yourself from all your glory by focusing in on the finding of the evidence,

the proving to yourself and anyone who will listen,

that you are in the Land of Nobody wants me.

 

And the sad truth beautiful is that as long as you sit here,

focused on the “UN” and the nobody with such passion,

you will NEVER be able to “fix” the problem of what you are manifesting.

 

You will never feel loved.

You will never feel valued.

You will never feel wanted.

 

From this space.

And you will certainly not attract anyone into your world that will “MAKE YOU” feel that way.

 

Because you have created and keep creating a great momentum around not having it show up for you,

that even when the universe/God sends things into your life,

to show you how abundant and loved you really are,

you reject them by looking the other way,

or pushing your will onto life in an attempt to control it and “make it” happen,

thus supporting your need to show that you can’t have it without a fight.

 

Your belief is that life is hard.

That you must suffer.

That you have to work hard to get things that you want.

Your belief is that life is out to get you in some fashion and does not have your back.

 

But that belief is just a thought that you keep active by focusing on finding evidence for it.

 

You “think” it is such and therefore it is.

But you have to change the thoughts in your head,

and the way you are feeling about your life.

You have the WAKE THE F-CK UP.

And start witnessing what could be by putting your focus on that and then not trying to force it into existence.

 

God/Universe does not like being controlled like that,

Does not like having its hands tied,

and if you keep tieing them then you will keep getting what you have been,

because what you want for gets offered day in and day out,

opportunities to have it knock at your door,

but you keep your door locked up tight not allowing the Universe/God to reveal to you your value, your worthiness.

 

So if you won’t let the energy that has created universes to show you a brilliant life worth living and enjoying,

and all your dreams manifesting,

then how the f-ck do you ever expect the people in your life to show it to you?

 

YOU BEAUTIFUL have to open up to it.

You are the only one who can access any of it.

Putting your needs and desires onto others and then getting mad that they won;t do what you want,

when you want,

how you want,

is a self-centered, spoiled, egotistical action.

And will only keep providing you with not having.

 

So if you are among the millions who woke up today,

focused on not having what you want in life,

feeling like you are unloved,

unappreciated,

“UN” somethinged….

 

Then this message is directed at you.

Because I fully understand that feeling of “UN”

that feeling of walking around the Land of Nobody,

and I can tell you that no solution or joy ever came from this place.

 

And we each may venture into this land every now and then,

but it is up to us,

and ONLY US,

venture right back out.

 

So take back your power beautiful,

stop handing it over to the ebbs of your life,

stop looking to not be supported,

and instead KNOW that you are with certainty.

Know that you are loved,

because you love yourself enough to wake the f-ck up and feel it for yourself,

you love yourself enough to stop disrespecting your life,

and instead to open up to it and receive its glory.

 

 

You are worthy beautiful.

You are loved.

You are appreciated and valued.

 

Venture In Certainty for what you want not what you fear.

 

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

Let’s do this!

You and me,

this summer.

Break free from your shiz once and for all and fall in love with the dynamic, powerhouse that YOU are.

No one is like you.

And you have a life worth sharing,

worth enjoying.

You have one life love.

One.

Let’s make it a F-ck Yes! One NOW.

Message me for deet’s on how to do this.

“I love You. Just As You Are.”

 

Bob Marley once said:

“You may not be her first,

her last, or her only.

 

She loved before she may love again.

But if she loves you now, what else matters?

 

She’s not perfect—you aren’t either,

and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh,

cause you to think twice,

and admit to being human and making mistakes,

hold onto her and give her the most you can.

 

She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break—her heart.

 

So don’t hurt her,

don’t change her,

don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give.

 

Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”

 

And he was a wise man in his lyrics.

The Jamaican artist who grew up on the concept of One Love,

and to love without fear,

without reservation,

and condition,

spoke the truth in his words about loving a woman,

but his words ring true in general.

 

His words on love are words that we could all gain wisdom from when looking at relationships in general.

 

Can you imagine a world where we spoke our truth.

Where we told our feelings without expectation,

where we related because that is what humans do…

 

Can you imagine a world where love was not based on what you can do for me,

or I for you,

but on the actual feeling of love.

 

Can you imagine a world where love was not captivated and crucified at every upset in the day,

a world where loving each other was normal and not judged or shamed,

can you imagine a world where we each had respect for self,

compassion for self,

love for self,

and thus could freely offer the same to another.

 

Can you imagine a world where saying “I love you” did not bear with it the weight of marriage, commitment of a lifetime, legal documents or looks of concern.

 

Can you imagine being loved just for being you?

 

This is the love that Marley was speaking of.

This is the message that we all need to hear,

 

and this morning as I sit here and am blessed with the words,

 

“I love you.”

 

I feel called to share the importance that they actually hold.

 

I love you is a statement of acceptance.

A statement of respect and care,

 

I love you means that I do not want to control you,

that I appreciate you JUST AS YOU ARE.

 

I love you means that I am not expecting anything in return,

there are no conditions,

there are no rules or obligations,

 

I love you means that I SEE YOU.

 

JUST AS YOU ARE.

 

And when these words are uttered,

they should not hold the reins on our heart,

they should not be spoken in shame or in fear,

but instead be words that frees our soul.

 

I love you means that I love me too.

Because I could not feel this feeling,

pure and authentically,

if you were not mirroring the love that I feel for self.

 

That is what it is a message of.

When we feel deep love for another,

without control or possession of any sort,

without jealousy or fear of losing,

without expectation,

 

we are feeling true love.

 

And true love can only emerge when we feel the same for self.

Others that we feel this radiance for,

ignite the truth of our souls,

allow us to embrace our bigness,

our beauty, and truth.

 

When love is authentic and not based in need,

It is a sign of who we really are.

 

And at our cores,

WE ARE LOVE.

 

We taste it juiciness.

We bathe in its sweetness,

We dance freely in its light,

and we expand within its breath.

 

Without love life is empty.

And with false love,

control masked as such,

we hunger to hold on,

we fear its loss,

we hand over our power to whomever we deem our point of focus,

and lose who we are.

 

To love someone…

 

You may not be the first person to love them,

or the last,

not even the only one.

 

They have loved before,

they will love again,

But if they are loving you now,

What else matters?

 

They are not perfect – you aren’t either,

and the two of you may never have the perfect relationship together, no matter its label,

but if they make you smile and laugh,

cause you to think twice,

and admit to being human and making mistakes,

hold onto that love and give it the most you have.

 

They may not be thinking of you every moment of the day,

but that love will open you to your life,

that love will offer you something special,

something that you must respect, — your truth.

 

So don’t judge and shame your love,

don’t try and change it,

don’t analyze and

don’t expect more than what is shown.

 

Smile when you are happy,

let your feelings be known, even when mad,

let your words and actions be authentic.

 

Love with your whole being when you receive love,

Know that it is available at any moment,

it is your truth,

there is no such thing as perfect,

but there will always be love,

and it is all that matters.

 

How are you penetrating your life,

this world with your love?

 

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

 

It is time that you say YES to you.

 

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

God Wants Open Relationships… But You Don’t! from Guest Author Addison Bell

You say that you could never do open relationship.

That you find it wrong and not natural.
You think it could never work and that it isn’t aligned with real intimate relationships.
You point to moral objections within your religious doctrines

Yet, you don’t see where you are already living and loving this way!

You are already in an open relationship baby!!!

Relationships are abound in our world. I’m guessing that you are in relationship with more than just one person in your life and most likely even have intimate emotional connections with more than one person in your life.

Sure, you might not be having sex with anyone else in your world but sex does not always equal intimacy.
I bet you have deep conversations and moments with other friends and family. Moments of sincere appreciation and vulnerability.

(If you don’t then that’s a whole other conversation and some intense coaching)

Are you telling me you aren’t intimate with anyone else?

Are you telling me that you don’t have an intimate relationship with God ?
God has set us free to have intimacy with others but you stand there claiming to desire to mirror God’s love…. preaching spirituality… and yet you don’t think it’s okay to set your partner free.

True freedom is giving your partner a chance to reject you! That is true love. That is true freedom. That is true openness.

Take your friends. Or your kids.
Do you just have one?
Do you restrict your love for one because of another?
Or do you just take the relationship with one for what it is and still love and connect with the other in a different way?

Or does it come down to you verbalizing that you want your partner to have freedom
But really you are ultimately holding jealousy and a desire to control in your heart.
Keeping your heart un-Godlike

Wanting to control their sex.
Wanting to control their feelings.
Wanting to control their ability to feel intimacy and connection.

By holding onto your partners sex you are chaining them in their growth process. Our sex is a driving force in our lives and is a creative force. By holding your partners sex down you are holding their growth as a human being down. Shutting down their ability to experience themselves and the world at a new depth.

Take is from me… every lover provides something juicy yet different.
It is a learning about self.
It is a learning about my spirit.
It is a learning about energy and connection.

By controlling your partners sex you are placing a collar around them as a person.

Real love comes when you give your partner the ability to follow their heart and are trusting that your connection is strong enough that they will come back to you.

That is real love.

Just like God is always trying to woo us and love us… but at the same time has given us the ultimate open relationship.
We have full freewill to reject
We have full freewill to have other relationships
Because there is a faith that the love is strong enough that we will always return.

God didn’t want puppets and yet you stand their trying to create puppets in your own life and using your faith as an excuse.

Open relationships are a very personal decision.
And they aren’t for everyone.
But I ask you to look at the true reasons that it isn’t for you.
Get to the heart of the matter and get real with self.

Because hiding behind false reasons isn’t helping you to expand and grow, nor is it helping your partner.

Love, light, & blessings,
Addison

Learn more from Addison HERE

My Revelation from Putting Ice Cubes in My Vagina.

❄️❄️❄️ I put five ice cubes and peppermint oil in my vagina last night…❄️❄️❄️

 

and then I mounted my man who had no clue of what he was getting entered into….

 

Surprise!

Aren’t surprises fun.

They certainly can be.

And being playful in our sexing is required for gourmet experiences.

 

But sometimes, we enter our partners and selves alike into experiences that may take us to depths of meeting new aspects of self that were not anticipated.

 

Sometimes our surprises back fire and cause a shut down,

a turning away, or trigger trauma from past wounds that we had forgotten about or did not think to link to current moments of play or joy.

 

Sometimes we end up freezing up emotionally in the midst of an experience and find ourselves trapped in a land of desire,

but not knowing how to express it or what to do with it.

 

We humans are not only fickle,

but fragile.

 

And we often do not give ourselves enough compassion or grace to process our feelings and love on our wounds from a higher perspective,

we in turn beat ourselves up more,

and build up more barriers of shame and bitterness,

dropping our hearts deeper into a frozen state of hibernation,

so that we do not have to deal with the emotions that surge fear through us to the core.

 

Freezing up is never a good idea,

emotionally speaking.

 

Emotional frostbite is a thing.

And it is a thing that is about as pleasant to move through as its physical twin.

It causes a numbing,

a burning,

and massive constriction of our flow.

It prevents us from being flexible in love, life, thinking and feeling.

It locks us down to the creation of the life that we crave for.

And when we sit with emotional frostbite,

any amount of warmth burns and scares us.

 

But that is what the prescription is to heal it.

That, that we fear.

That. that burns,

that hurts to lean into.

It is the defrosting of our core.

It is the warming of our hearts,

and listening to our soul.

 

And it is activated with DESIRE.

 

But desire feels too provocative a thing when you are frozen.

Desire feels edgy, feels dangerous and makes us have to deal with our fears.

 

And fear stands firm in its cover of guilt and shame, jealousy even.

 

Fear yells at us to control the situation.

Fear tells us that we must have expectations.

Fear wraps us up in its belief of scarcity.

 

And it tells us that desire is evil.

 

It tells us to not listen to desire,

to not feel its warm embrace.

Fear wants us to remain “safe” and stay frozen.

 

Deny.

Deny your soul.

Deny your heart.

Deny desire.

 

Because that is where desire is birthed from.

It comes from your truth,

to heal you,

to guide you,

to defrost you.

and open you up to who you truly are.

 

And without it….

You will never know the wonders of this life.

You will never fully tap into your purpose.

You will never feel the depths of love ripping you open into surrender.

You will never see the light of God in your rapture,

and you will never live an expanded life.

 

No.

Nothing is possible without desire.

But we must make sure that our desire is based in our heart,

not in our ego.

For the desire of our ego, may mask itself as our hearts,

may ride the very waves of our heartbeat even,

and make us feel as though we cannot exist without it,

but from this sort of desire we feel its need,

its need to control.

It needs to master us.

Its need to force.

to be hasty in the gaining of our desires.

And it does this through the emotions of worry, fear,

envy, judgement, bitterness and anxiety.

 

Where desire that comes from our heart,

does none of this.

It only defrosts our streams and rivers,

bares its truth through love, compassion and excitement,

releases us from our once thought eternal winter,

and renews our hunger to live.

 

Neither feel safe.

But desire from the heart is soul led.

It is what each of us must step into and embrace with eagerness if we are to ever know God.

Know life and love.

And heal our wounds.

 

It is through this desire that we learn to embody ourselves once again and trust in our hearts.

 

It is here in the warmth of our desire that we awaken to our worthiness and greatness.

 

And it is from this eruption of desire that KNOW OURSELVES.

 

But if you choose to ignore,

choose to hide behind the shame and guilt,

the excuses and your pride,

then you choose to remain in an eternal state of cryonics.

And you can bear hope to bring life back to yourself at some point, but in order to do it my love….

 

You must choose it.

You must choose to defrost and to allow yourself to feel again.

 

To feel everything.

And know that it is perfect.

 

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Don’t let another moment pass living in a chronic state of frozen.

Limiting your life experience,

limiting your love and connection,

limiting your abundance.

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

It is time that you say YES to you.

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.