Some days you feel like you are running around like Alice in wonderland,
not knowing what direction to go or what the best choice could be. You start out on one path only to find yourself running down another,
and feeling as though it is never ending and only making you more lost in life.
No matter what you attempt,
things go to hell. But you put your head down and you just keep going. Each step forward seems to be ten steps back and around and around you go,
in this land of nowhere,
feeling lost but looking for something more.
You know that feeling.
That feeling of uncertainty.
That feeling of overwhelm.
You are damned if you do and damned if you don’t,
so why bother?
But you must bother because someone, somewhere is waiting on you.
And you have responsibilities.
People, bills and time to think of.
But there you are a circus in your own head,
and you just keep going, lost and confused as if on some psychedelic trip,
that lost its luster many years ago.
Fear is permeating from your bones.
Your flesh reeks of your uncertainty.
Your head lowers, your back hunches.
You are scared.
Scared in this darkness that you have created.
It’s a mad house in here.
so you focus in.
You get dedicated,
committed and claim that you know.
You know that things MUST change.
You know that this cannot continue.
You know that you are drowning,
no matter how pretty the picture may be that the world around see’s,
you are drowning.
And so things must change.
And you claim that they will.
You look for guidance.
You beg for direction.
You fall to your knee’s and pray.
But there you are,
Waking up in stillness.
Waking up to the madness that is lurking.
Hiding from view,
until you look the other way.
Buried there in the mess of your life.
You choose to ignore.
And just as quickly as you had committed,
to make that change.
You find yourself drifting,
in a lull that this life can offer.
A lull of comfort.
Of average and ordinary.
There you are, dancing in the midst of the circus.
Until one day, when once again,
you cannot help but look deeper.
A whisper, a ghost from yesterday,
something magical alerts you to look into the chaos.
And then you discover.
You discover the wonder,
Why are you on this never ending ride,
this ride that keep taking you,
far from what you desire.
It side tracks you and comforts you,
it scares you and spins.
Until you once again,
cannot tell what is up or down.
You are dizzy.
You are fearful.
You are lost once again.
falling to the ground,
you make the commitment again.
to stop settling,
stop avoiding and forgetting.
You are sick of this ride.
This nightmare you are living.
It is time to proclaim.
Time to not forget.
It is time that you stand firmly.
Decide what you want.
Climb up and out,
out of this chaos,
out of this circus,
this mad house in your head.
the guilt and the fear.
They are nothing more than words,
words that you give life to and dance with.
You are the gate keeper, the ring leader and owner.
You are the BOSS.
The Queen and the creator.
So stand up right there.
Stand there in your POWER.
Claim once and for all,
you will take no more of the misery.
No more excuses, no more ignoring,
no more story telling,
no more lies and regrets.
It is time for you,
for you to OWN WHO YOU ARE.
It is time!
Let go of that ticket,
its a circus you have been too,
one you need no longer attend.
So step away from this story line,
and write the one from your SOUL.
What does your SOUL expression truly look like?
If people, opinions, judgments and fears no longer stood in your way, what would your life look like and who would you be?
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Do you relate to having the crazy run your world?
Cannot seem to find the motivation, dedication, or certainty to step fully into all that you know you were born to be? And yet the desire to become something so much more is just there CALLING to you. Begging you to take the step.
I fully understand this fear, this chaos and crazy.
It is a path that many have walked, have had to conquer, but when you taste who you really are, experience your truth and start stepping into this you will discover a courage, a passion and faith that you did not know that you had.
You deserve to live a beautiful life.
A life of THRIVING!
Let’s explore the steps to greatness today.
“I want a man who is faithful.
I want a man who is dependable.
A man who is kind.
Who loves my children.
And is strong in integrity.
I want a man who is confident.
I want a man who is passionate.
A man who makes me laugh.
And generous with his time,his resources, his love.
I want a man that listens, that I can tell anything too.
A man that is romantic.
Good in bed.
A man that will help around the house and can cook.
I want a man who has a purpose and is driven.
Is financially stable.
I want a man who is tall.
I want a man with a handsome face.
I want man who cares for his body.
Is muscular and makes me feel safe.
I want a man who has a good sense of style.
I want a man who loves the outdoors.
But also loves fine dining and has good etiquette.
I want a man who loves adventure.
Who wants and can travel the world with me.
I want a man that has freedom.
I want a man who will treat me like his queen.
I want a man who respects me.
I want a man who does not want to control me.
I want a man who is spiritually sound.
And I want it ALL from YOU!”
Read that list ladies and gents.
I could write it about what men want as well.
It’s hard to read that list and believe that one person could fulfill all of those desires.
It’s hard to believe because no one person can.
Sure we can fulfill some of those all of the time,
and other’s of those some of the time,
but can one person ever fulfill all of those all of the time?
And should it be put on someone to do such a thing?
A hefty list of expectations I do say.
And it’s my list.
And my list has about thirty more very specific things on it as well.
And what I am looking for at the end of my list is more important than any of the specific things on it.
And that is alignment.
I want a man who is aligned to his purpose.
I want a man that is SOUL ALIGNED.
What this desire will give is all of the above and then some, but in the perfect harmony that is right for him and for myself.
Perfect for the moment.
I also, do not expect for a man to have everything on my list.
There are things that I am willing to look at,
to not need because they are not high priorities.
And then there are the things that are CRUCIAL.
And how do I know that these things are crucial?
Because I am like Goldilocks in dating.
I have come to realize that dating is about figuring out what you like,
what you don’t like,
what is cool,
what is not cool,
what aligns to you or not.
Dating is about sampling everything you can at the buffet and figuring out what has that more flavor and what makes you want to puke.
The biggest challenge in dating is that it takes time and energy.
It requires patients.
It requires one getting to know yourself.
And getting right with who you are first, before trying to find someone else to fill in your gaps for you.
Dating offers you the ability to meet yourself in so many ways.
I f-cking LOVE dating!
And maybe that is why I am so good at it.
And why I have no issue finding incredible men of all types with a flip of my hair it seems.
It’s true though.
I am often shocked at how many people have difficulty with dating.
And often after speaking to them about it,
the basis of their issues is that they don’t really like people or they don’t really love themselves.
Often some combination of the two.
How are you to ever meet someone worth while,
someone that has anything you want from your list,
if you hate people.
All you will ever discover is characteristics that you hate.
Because that is what you are focused on.
Or if you don’t have self-esteem or love of self,
then how will you ever meet someone who is confident, passionate, loving, giving or takes care of themselves?
You have to be matching what you want to call in.
So back to the Goldilocks Mindset on Dating.
The concept here is simple.
Get to know what you want.
What you need.
What you desire.
And who the f-ck you are.
By dating many, many, people.
And DO NOT get committed quickly.
Dating is all about getting to know someone and letting yourself be revealed as you go.
These two things will never happen over night.
Matter a fact it has been proven that new relationship energy (NRE) takes about 18 months to 3 years to wear off. This is that energy that you feel when you are just getting to know someone one. Where the rose tinted glasses are still on. They can do hardly anything wrong and you make excuses for them left and right, make assumptions about things and don’t really see clearly the love that is before you. This is the time in a relationship that you are living a storybook.
And then one day you wake up and you meet this new person, you wonder where he/she has been hiding the last year or two, and who took away your beautiful mate that was oh so perfect. Now the real stuff comes out and you get to actually get into relationship with the person.
Well if you were dating like Goldilocks,
then you would not be putting all your hopes, needs and desires onto one person.
You would not be looking at the person you are just meeting with hungry eye’s of, “oh please be the one and make my misery of dating be over.”
You would not be so willing to sell yourself short of the quality of a mate that you so badly want.
You would not be so quick to change yourself to try and match someone who is not in alignment to your soul or heart,
and instead you would look at each person who you explored as a beautiful experience for the moment.
One that was there to reveal to you things about yourself.
About desires that you have.
About the life that you want to live.
The relationship that you want to have.
And you would be in gratitude for all the things brought to the table of you relating with them,
no matter how you perceived them in the moment.
If you were dating like Goldilocks,
you most certainly would not sell out to the first bowl of porridge that presented itself to you, or the first bed that looked good but maybe did not feel just right in some way.
No, you would love yourself enough to take your sweet time to get the relationship that was in SOUL ALIGNMENT.
You would try out many different scenarios.
You would explore lot’s of different flavors.
And you would allow yourself to gain clarity on what felt best to you.
You would be unconditional in your dating.
With limited expectations,
and only a desire to reveal and be revealed.
The Mindset of Goldilocks in dating is all about exploration.
It is a mindset of learning about self.
It is a mindset that does not entertain scarcity.
It is knowing that “The ONE” will come when you truly love self and know thy self. When you you are vibing at the level that you magnetize him/her to you.
Anything before then will be about seeing where you are vibing at and learning more about what you like or dislike.
And you would do it all in YOUR OWN TIME.
Not some predetermined social idea of when it should happen or guidelines as to what some story line says it “should.”
So for all you single’s out there who are looking for that special someone and believe that you are running out of time,
ready to give up or cut yourself short on what you want in a relationship,
let me share this concept with you and let me assure you that you are worth a beautiful relationship.
One that has so much of what you want and then some.
You can have it all.
And you will.
As long as you learn how to approach love and relationship with unconditional relating and a focus of self-love and honor first.
Remember that you call into your life that, that you focus on most.
So where has your focus gotten you?
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
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