DESIRABLE DOES NOT MEAN ACCEPTED.

DESIRABLE DOES NOT MEAN ACCEPTED.

 

Today I was speaking to a man that told me that he thought that I was a highly desirable woman.

 

Yesterday I was having lunch with a man who told me that he just thinks that the rest of the world looks at me the way he does and sees me in that way.

 

A few days ago, I was working with a man who said, “Wow, if I could just find someone like you.”

 

Last week an old lover of mine told me that he never stopped desiring and loving me.

 

And a few years ago a man who crept into my space and heart told me how desirable I was, and he did so daily for some time.

Prior to him, there were a few more men who claimed the same.

And they all said that they loved me for who I was,

for my radiance, my glow, my light.

They loved how playful and turned on I was to life.

They loved witnessing me with my family,

and watching me teach classes.

They loved my out of the box ways, even though it made them breathe, because they knew that it meant that they needed to grow and that they wanted to be a better man by being around me.

 

All of these men said that I awoke them to a greater understanding of who they were,

I brought desire back into their lives,

and they never expected that from a relationship in this way.

 

Each of these men,

beautiful, dynamic men,

from my past are just that…

from my past.

 

They are not in my current nor in my future,

and even though I hold great love and gratitude for each of them for the lessons that we shared and what they awoke inside of me,

they all share one thing in common outside of believing that I am desirable.

 

And that is that they could not ever fully accept me.

Yes that highly desirable woman,

that goddess on her knees,

that siren in the bedroom,

that nurturing caring woman who loves her family dearly,

that coach, presenter, teacher who has passion without edge for her work,

that outspoken, take no shit,

got no f-cks left to give about how you view me desirable woman,

who loves to play, has a big heart,

struggles with her own insecurities and fears,

her own lack of worthiness and shame,

but does her damn work each and every day,

because that is the only thing that keeps her going strong.

 

Yes that desirable woman.

They could not really embrace.

 

They loved all those pieces,

they wanted me to hold them up,

to be all of me.

To shine as bright as the north star in the heavens.

And loved the light that cascaded down on them.

 

But they could not handle it.  They feared it in truth.

That highly desirable woman.

well there was one great issue they had not conceived of yet,

 

that on their arm there I was.

Still highly desirable,

not just by them but by many.

and because my light attracted others,

this they feared.

so without understanding,

they all chose their own way to hide from the light,

or maybe better to dim the light as to make it not as attractive to all the competition.

 

And so the timeless story of boy meets girl,

boy falls in love with girl,

boy gets girl,

boy kills girl,

goes.

 

Not an actual physical death in my case,

but a killing of my radiance over time.

Through fear, shame, guilt, manipulation and falsities,

These men of my past have all fallen prey.

In their deep love and admiration of all that I am and can be,

they could not stand in the light and feel strong in the knowledge that others saw it too.

 

And so they ventured to take the star down from the heavens to keep it safe.

Not understanding that it was the death of the star or of the relationship with the star.

 

Now, some of these men would tell you that they fully accepted me, others would be more truthful and admit that it was too much for them,

they all would say that they had no desire to actually put out or even dim the light.

Because they loved that light and they all wanted me to be the best me that I could ever be.

 

They would tell you that it was not me that they did not fully accept, it was instead some of my ways, some of my beliefs, some of my desires or needs.

 

They would tell you that I triggered their past wounds.

They would tell you that I triggered their insecurity.

They would tell you that I was too outspoken, or out of the box in my relating.

They would tell you that it takes a lot to hang with me,

to breathe into some of the conversations that happen on a daily, moment to moment basis,

or that my flirty natural state of being was concerning.

They would tell you all of these things.

And they would say it was those things that caused the issues.

 

And I say what about those things are any different then the list above that you loved and desired so?

 

Oh yes,

it is the triggers, the wounds, the fears and insecurities.

 

That is what is different.

 

And therefore these beautiful, lovely, dynamic men of my past simply could never accept me for their own inner saga of thoughts turning to emotions and leading down the path of needing me to “just not be so bright.”

 

Well at least not so bright for anyone but them.

Just shine on me.

 

 

because it was the competition,

the fear of losing the highly desirable woman that they had on their arm and in their bed that was actually the issue.

And since that was linked to me,

Well the solution was simple…

 

STOP BEING SO DAMN DESIRABLE.

 

Surely then they would feel safe.

They would be happy.

They could feel strong, stable and confident.

Just so long as I was not so desirable.

So bright.

So wanted by others.

 

Change who you are babe,

but don’t change a thing.

 

Be you 100% babe,

just don’t make me feel insecure by being you.

 

Be confident, playful, sexy babe,

but only behind closed doors where others will not want for you.

 

I love the way you look babe,

But don’t look that way in public.

 

Yes these lovely men from my past,

love them I certainly do,

and so many men out there believe that they love their highly desirable woman fully as well,

but I ask you if that is true?

 

Can you feel strong and confident in her presence?

Can you feel strong and confident in the knowing that she is wanted by others but chooses you?

Can you feel your power more intensely by being with her,

or do you shake inside and feel the need to fight to keep all others at bay?

 

Does her beauty and intelligence scare you?

Her lack of need shakes fear to your core?

Does the fact that you cannot control her fluster and irritate?

 

These are the questions my love.

These you must answer truthfully,

for if you answer in accordance to keep her but it is not your truth,

you will only lose her all  the quicker.

 

THE DESIRABLE IS OFTEN NOT ACCEPTED,

This is the reality of life.

 

we desire to alter to our wishes,

believing that we can hold it without question,

believing that we have what it takes,

and so we lie about our truth,

we fall prey to fear and triggers,

but we forget that the answer is always the same…

 

unconditional love and acceptance,

is the foundation to everything beautiful and long term.

It cannot be forced.

It can not be faked.

 

You either have it or you don’t and if you don’t it means that you need to go within and find it for yourself before you can ever proclaim it for another.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

*Photo Credit @DandeLionImages

WHY DO WE AVOID OUR PLEASURE?

WHY DO WE AVOID OUR PLEASURE?

 

This is the question I sit here with,

pondering how could I have ever been so silly as to avoid everything that felt good,

to quickly turn away from positive direction,

out of fear.

 

Fear of anything,

fear of fucking it all up,

of not being good enough,

or maybe fear of being too much,

fear that I was not worthy of whatever it may be,

and so I turned away.

 

And used all my logic to make it happen and look appropriately.

I spent years doing this.

I still catch myself doing all too much in my opinion.

 

But I think that perhaps our biggest fear is the fear of not trusting ourselves.  We have made some poor decisions in the past, so how can we trust self here?

 

This is the one that can get us all.

 

And so we often psych ourselves out from following the lead of “feel good” and we turn around out of fear that we cannot trust ourselves.  That we should shut down and ignore, move away from whatever it is that we are wanting.

 

You see though,

we cannot just lay something down like a feeling or a desire in one area of our lives, or around the energy of one subject area of life and not expect the energy to seep out to all areas.

 

All of life is interwoven.

 

If we shut our passion down,

we start to lose passion in all areas of life.

If we shut down playfulness in one area of life,

we lose the fun in all areas of life.

We prevent ourselves from feeling all the emotions of life,

then inevitably we lose feeling for all areas of life,

and we drown in our fear of feeling.

 

But we humans,

we love to take things away from ourselves so that we can prove that we are good people, that we are trustworthy, loyal, committed,  safe…. etc. 

 

Don’t we?

and we start the whole proving ourselves by doing the take away from self typically for the sake of love.

 

Our version of love is really great at stealing so much beauty in life.

We believe that we must not be so many things when in love,

all the things that were okay when single suddenly cannot be experienced or it be looked upon as though we have commitment issues.  So no opposite sex friends ( we don’t care how long you have known them, you are in love now, you never need to speak to the opposite sex again, your love is your everything), do not be overly kind or smile, look into the eyes of the opposite sex again, do not take kindness from the opposite sex, always say no to help from anyone that is not the same sex as you unless they are your love.

 

We turn away from all the emotions,

the turn on, the play, the openness, the conversations even that add wisdom and creative thought into our lives.

 

We turn it away to “show” or should I say PROVE our love.

All of these things bring pleasure into our lives though.

We are shutting down and turning away from our pleasure,

in belief that by shutting it all down we will gain more pleasure because we now have this ….

 

THIS RELATIONSHIP.

 

And this relationship will fulfill our everything and we “should” not need for anything outside of this relationship.

 

After all that is what love gives us.

EVERYTHING.

 

Right?

But nothing is farther from the truth.

We are still human.

We still need connections from many.

We still have much learning to do and that requires a relationship with others outside of THIS RELATIONSHIP that is to be our everything.

 

But we shut it down.

We shut it down hard too.

We make sure not to notice,

not to connect,

but instead to guard and hide.

We shame and guilt ourselves should we even catch the eye of someone smiling our direction, blaming ourselves for the look on our face, the laughter we were showing or the garments on our body.

 

And so we shame our energy.

We shame our magnetism.

We shame our joy.

We shame our turn on for life,

and the saddest truth of all is that all this shaming has us shaming our love.

Because love is not about judgement and control.

Love is not about hiding and condemning.

Love is not about sacrificing our friendships and desires.

Love is about being lifted up by another who wants the best for us and wants our joy,

wants our light to shine bright.

Not dim it.

 

Love wants us to enjoy life and reap the pleasures of this life.

Love wants us to bask in it and show it to the world.

 

Ego,

which is where most of us reside when supposedly “in love”

wants to control, judge, condemn, feel jealousy and insecurity.

Ego wants you to hide who you are and change to fit the ideas and insecurities of others needs.

Ego fears all other relationships.

Ego fears your joy and your light.

Ego does not see how it turns you off and shuts you down over time in the name of love.

It believes that it is saving you,

saving your relationship,

saving your love.

Ego does not have faith.

It does not trust.

And it is quick to find fault anywhere but with itself.

 

Ego has us turn away from EVERYTHING that is pleasure and good for us,

but it has us run into the arms of all the pleasure that condemns us.

Ego will have us act in rage.

Ego will carry us the bottle to drink our sorrows away in.

Ego will have us “I’ll show you” as we sex with people we do not want to, to prove yet another point.

Ego will have us mask our feelings and hide with drugs and food.

Ego will get us to retract from life, to become workaholics.

Ego will do its job for sure…

the job it feels it must and that is to KEEP YOU SAFE AT ALL COST.

And it will do so under the guise of love everytime.

It will make you question yourself and your love.

 

And here is where we lose our power.

Here is where we lose ourselves.

Here is where we step out of alignment with SOUL, with God.

 

Because SOUL and God do not feel the same way about any of this that you are feeling through your ego.

 

The fact that you are having negative feelings, fear or insecurity, judgement and jealousy, a desire to control shows just how out of alignment you are.  You could not feel this much pain if your inner self did not feel differently.

 

That is what being out of alignment means.

When you feel drastically different from  that that your inner being feels.

 

And do you honestly believe in your heart of hearts that TRUE LOVE ever desires for you to not shine?

For you to deny yourself joy, happiness, connection?

 

Do you believe that true love wants to control you?

 

Yet you sit there turning away from your joy,

your happiness and your expansion,

andall the pleasure that these things bring you,

based on the concept that you need to prove your love by doing just this.

 

I get it.

I too am guilty of this ego game.

I have shunned my truth in the face of what I thought to be love.

I have hidden myself from my truth based on fear and judgement.

I have said no to myself when I was a fuck yes because I was afriad of not being good enough or making a mistake.

I have been there.

I have made poor choices based on this ego.

I have avoided my intuition out of fear of not being able to trust myself.

 

And I have suffered the results.

 

The regret of not saying yes to living,

to growing and expanding self,

to experience,

to love and connection.

To abundance and joy.

 

Regret.

It’s a nasty bi-product of saying no to the alignment of self.

 

The ego is a bitch my dear.

We all have one.

Our power is reestablished by witnessing our emotions and seeing for the guidance system that they are.

 

Are you ready to learn your truth?

To live the life that you feel called too and love fully?

 

Authentically.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

 

October Asskickery Month is almost upon us.

Are you wanting to make some changes in your life, love or sex?

Want to take action but do not know where to start?

Need a swift kick to get what you want?

Reach out to me about this global opportunity to have that F-ck Yes Life that you are wanting for now.

 

 

I FUCKING LOVE MEN!

I FUCKING LOVE MEN!
I do.
I always have,
Always will.
No matter how they bring my heart pain sometimes,
To me men are amazing in so many ways.
Everywhere, from a man who knows truly how to touch a woman,
Deeper then the flesh,
To the soul.
Letting her feel his heart,
To a man’s ability to lead.
To direct and see the pathways needed to solve a challenge.
Men are truly wonderful.
When they are conscious.
When they are confident.
When they are open and playful.
When they know thier worth,
When they allow themselves to be true to themselves.
Men are wonderful.
This week has been filled with so many yummy men for me.
I have had the pleasure of dancing in at least a dozen men’s masculine light,
Feeling thier joy, their fear, their pain and desire.
And in spending these moments with these men,
My heart expands.
My desire grows to be penetrated deeply by the masculine.
I am not referring to sexual penetration here,
Although that’s awesome as well.
But what I am speaking of is the deep heart penetration that a man can offer a woman in his surrender to himself.
That revealing he can gift a woman with when he drops his guards and trusts, if just for a moment in time her presence.
Allowing himself to be grounded there with her.
Giving himself permission to breathe and recieve her light.
Yes this is the deep penetration that I desire to expand,
And this week has gifted me with quiet a few moments that ignite this desire.
This week has offered me just this level of depth with the masculine and it makes me crave more.
To witness the playful heart of a man as he steps himself into feeling his turn on,
As he embraces his love for what appears to be just out of reach.
To listen to the divine masculine speak its truth about his pain of not being enough,
About not feeling appreciated,
And his truth in his desire for so much more in life.
To feel the juiciest of his passion,
His hunger to conquer and be seen fully.
This is the masculine I love deeply.
This is the masculine that arouses me at a soul level and has me craving.
I fucking love men.
When they are actually men.
Because you see a man who is all of this yumminess,
Is a man that drops me into surrender.
A man who can conquer me in the moment of passion because he knows how to penetrate me not just enter me.
And THIS is rare.
Most men enter a woman and believe that’s penetration.
And then wonder why thier woman will not soften or surrender.
Why she will not TRUST him.
Or let herself fully be seen and expressed.
But I tell you,
Its because he has not learned how to truly penetrate.
Not his woman.
Not his purpose.
Not this world.
And means he has no clue of what it means to be a man.
A conscious, dynamic, powerful man.
He is eternally stuck in boyhood.
Playing the victim in his life.
Blaming and feeling jealous.
Anxious and uncomfortable with his heart.
When a man discovers his worthiness and learns to truly love himself,
This all changes however.
And this is the masculine I love.
This is the masculine who turns my soul on.
Men are wonderful.
Men are so desirable.
Men when they are conscious and mature,
When they know how to play and make love to life,
Are the divine masculine.
The healing agent.
The leaders and fathers,
The lovers and protectors,
That our world so desperately needs.
I fucking love men.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “
Are you a man who wants to ignite and penetrate the feminine and this world like I shared above but have little idea as to how to do this?
Reach out now and let’s discuss 1:1 opportunities now.

The Secret Power Of Your Sex.

SWIRLING.

LOST IN EMOTION.

Bodies engaged,

sweat rolling between.

Gasping for air.

 

Release,

deep within, my cervix shakes,

my pelvic floor quivers,

my chest cracks,

my g-spot ignites,

and I sigh.

 

Ahhhhh…

 

It’s been hours of rolling in these sheets.

My muscles are like jello from all the orgasms,

the energy spasms and the release.

 

My legs are shaking and I feel like laughing and crying all at the same time.

It is hard to focus my vision,

the ceiling light is spinning as I lay there,

breathing in the intoxicating vibrations of this moment.

 

I AM DRUNK.

I am vulnerable.

I am raw.

I am open.

I feel so very alive and yet transcended into nothing.

 

Tears are streaming from my face.

My lover kisses and bites my neck,

grabs my hair at the base of my scalp and pulls me down onto him,

not just entering me but penetrating me.

Penetrating me to the core of my being,

as though he is witnessing my soul from within my very body.

 

My body quivers and shakes,

I have lost all reason,

I am without care,

Full abandon.

 

And here,

here in this space of true bliss,

here in this place that has not been visited to these levels of depth for sometime,

I CAN SURRENDER.

 

Letting go of the fear,

the worry and the thought.

Letting go of my conditions,

of terms and agreements,

letting go of the physical and just floating in the abyss of nothing yet everything,

and discovering myself yet again.

 

Here I am .

Here he is.

And together we get lost.

We expand and we explore.

 

From this land anything is possible.

All can be desired and achieved.

This is the land of alchemy,

the place of magick.

 

Sex Magick.

 

Calling down the blessings from source,

realizing them into here and now.

As I open fully to the deep rowling thunders of each orgasmic wave,

my spirit aligns and I allow.

I allow all to manifest that I have craved for,

longed for,

and I open my life to receiving it.

My body is awakened,

ignited and ready.

 

With each sip of air I call out to the universe my desires,

as my lover tousles me around,

pressing firmly inside of me,

pumping my g-spot in rhythmic cycles of ecstasy,

the juices roll from my lips and I pull his hand in further and further.

Fully engulfed inside my cavern,

his subtle moves of hand carry me deeper and deeper,

the pressure is building,

my body becomes tense.

And I see it.

 

I SEE IT ALL.

I feel the filling of my cup,

as it overflows with abundance,

with love and health,

as my life is changed,

altered for the better.

 

The shaking of my flesh subsides,

my breath deepens,

my muscles relax.

And I feel him again,

swirling,

teasing,

licking.

 

Intensifying my energy,

and I melt.

 

Dancing with my soul in this expression of truth.

Feeling an ignited calm,

a peace and hunger.

 

I know that this moment….

Like so many from my past is transformational.

Awakening.

And powerful.

 

And I am ready.

 

Take me.

Let me surrender into you and become nothing and everything.

 

Yes this is the power of our orgasm.

This is the importance of our sex.

This has been hidden from you for centuries,

known by few.

 

And it is truth.

It is my truth as it is yours as well,

you can channel your energy and focus it on your desired life.

Manifestation at its finest.

 

But first,

First you must learn its secrets.

 

Do you dare?

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Happening this Saturday Sept. 12th, 2020 Tantric Sex Magick.

Where you can learn the mysteries and truth behind this sought after knowledge.

 

Can’t make that?

 

It’s okay.

 

Reach out to me to explore Tantric Coaching today to learn this and more.

Enter Sensual Surrender For Your Magical Expereince.

I WAS FLOATING IN A SEA OF SENSATION.
 
There I was,
our flesh touching.
The water lapping around my breasts and shoulders.
I was breathing the moment and all the feeling of floating into my being.
Taking it in,
devouring it.
feeling as though the universe was asking for me to open even more and allow the deep penetration of my soul to occur.
 
There he was,
resting next to me, his hand on my thigh.
I could feel his breathing as it caused ripples in the water.
His body was smooth and his desire was present.
 
There he was,
on my other side,
breathing in the wind.
His arm touching mine,
soft and smooth.
 
And the water washed over all of us.
The wind in the trees before us was dancing and asking for our surrender.
 
My desire was to touch,
to exchange breath,
to become entwined.
 
I wanted to allow myself to be seen and felt with both of them,
I wanted to feel thier hands caressing me.
I wanted to touch and let my love be felt through the sensaul stroking and playing of our skins enveloping each other.
 
I wanted to feel.
Feel past this phyiscal state of being.
Feel through the emotions,
the fears and the concern.
I wanted to penetrate life by embodying this moment fully and dropping deeper into surrender.
 
 
My hunger was present,
a ravonous beast rumbling within my groin,
within my heart my soul rattled in the cage it felt placed about it.
I breathed.
Breathed into this container known as my physical body and asked my chest to relax,
I asked my soul what it was desiring to achieve from such a state of vulnerability and desire?
 
And my heart leaped,
it called out to the winds,
it wanted to dance naked in the moon light,
it wanted to swing in the hammuc and howl at the moon.
It wanted to be taken.
Taken into the galaxies and be blasted from every startling.
It wanted to be shed of its chains,
its fears and its silly conditions.
It wanted to defy society and relationship labeling.
It wanted to love.
 
It wanted to love fully and authentically.
and it wanted to tap back into that space,
that yummy space that it had known once before and SURRENDER to the call of this wild woman that wanted to open her wings.
Her legs.
Her heart.
Her vessel.
 
My soul knew as it knows today in this moment the power that can transend from moments of bliss,
moments of utter transendence.
It knows that when you can come together with another,
when you can drop into truth without fear or need to control,
when you can access love,
that you hold all the power.
 
That here in this space you are the key master.
And all one ever needs to do is choose a door.
 
This space I speak of is not found in sex.
It is not found in meditation nor prayer.
It is not found in work or what we might refer to as purpose.
It is not found in any relationship or nutritional plan.
It is not found in text books or doctrin.
 
This place I speak of is ONLY discovered through the greatness of your ability to soften and let the universe take you.
In the sensualness that moves through you at times like this,
no matter what the act that you might be performing,
you are moving with the magical essence and flow of the divine.
 
Here from this state of embodiment you are using all your senses.
You are not trapped prisioner to your thoughts,
not holding your emotions out of fear,
you are not touching or acting from a state of control or even desire,
you are just being.
Fully.
 
This is the expanded expression of the human expereince.
This is what we are meant to explore.
 
But we bunker down,
we armour up,
we hide and we fear.
 
In our hiding and fearing we feel loss and suffering.
We gain the illionary belief that we own one another and that we are to remain small.
We buy into the concepts of not enough and control.
ANd we search for purpose,
he hunt for joy and connection,
and we do it all with limited connection to self.
We come into our life moments with with zero to no understanding of self and we lay blame to all those we dance with for the way that we feel.
 
We hide our hearts out of fear of getting hurt,
we shut down our voices and our expressions as to not damage anyone else.
We lift up th eheavy shileds in hope that we can prevent future wounding….
 
And we feel EMPTY.
We feel lost.
Undesired,
disconnected.
And we question why?
Why can I never be happy?
Why do I always end up right back here?
 
It is the shield.
That armour that you carry.
The weight of fear and judgement.
The sword of control.
Those are what keeps you from receiving all that you want for.
Those are the demons that you bare.
 
Soft and subtle.
Fluid and entwined.
The sensaulness of a soul surrendered,
a heart opened and body unburrdened.
 
Here is your bliss.
Here is your power.
Here is the naked truth.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Join me for Tantric Sex Magick LIVE workshop in Plano Texas where you will learn the secrets to manifesting through the power of your sex.
Not local?
Can’t make the class?
Want to explore abundance training and the power of your sex?
Reach out to me for global opportunities to learn more now.

LOVE SHOULD BE PERFECT.

LOVE SHOULD BE PERFECT.

 

And yet it never is.

 

A long time ago when I was living in Seattle, Washington I was attending a church in Kent with a pastor that I adored. I learned so much from Pastor Jack. He was focused on teaching the congregation about blessings, about our glory and how that translated into the law of attraction.

 

I still make use of his teachings today with my clients almost daily and in my shares here with you as well.

 

Among my favorite things he shared were,

 

“More than enough with plenty left over.”

 

Which always commanded in the belief and feeling that we are always provided for,

that we always have more than enough in the things that we need with plenty left to share.

And that the leftovers are there for us to do just that …..SHARE.

 

And then his other reminder of truth that I have kept in my heart and mind all these years was focused toward relationships….

 

The relationship of marriage.

 

And in today’s world,

which even though greatly different than that of just 15 years ago when Pastor Jack was preaching his wisdom to me,

is still all the same.

 

His words of truth were simple.

 

“Marry your best friend.”

 

Those words made me look at my marriage,

and perhaps were words that supported me to divorce a few years later.  Although back then I would have felt the need to confirm that I was best friends with my then husband,

the reality was not that we were best friends.

 

We got along on a ton of items,

but I found that I had to restrict myself in so many ways,

and that was not friendship,

and certainly not best friends.

 

When I am working with couples today in my coaching practice many come to me troubled and on the cusp of a breaking up because of so many things…

 

*Not enough sex or bad sex.

*Financial issues.

*Abuse of one kind or another.

*Affairs.

*Lack of sexual desire.

 

 

And most couples will start off their tale by telling me that they are best friends with their spouse,

that they can tell them anything,

that they have fantastic communication.

But….

 

fill in the blank from above list here.

 

They believe that if they had more sex/better sex or a stronger desire for their partner,

if they were physically attracted more to them,

if they had more money in the bank,

or what have you that their marriage would be perfect.

 

Now the reality is that if you are in an abusive relationship ( no matter what that looks like) that chances are you need to get out of it because an abusive partner often does not see their wrong and change,

if you are in a relationship that has suffered from infidelity,

There can be work done and you can repair it and even come back stronger than ever before if love and communication/friendship is at the front stage of both parties minds.

 

The desire for more sex, better sex or having more desire for your partner… .these things can be detrimental if the friendship and love are not there first and if both parties are not open to raw, real discussions based in truth and love to work on these challeneges,

but if both parties are wanting the connection and can be emotionally mature to take responsibility for self and speak their truth and work together on these items,

then you can have a deeply strong bond and the sex and desire can grow from it.

 

The relationships that come to me wanting these things,

often have one MAJOR obstacle however…

 

One partner is stubborn and refuses to see the truth.

Refuses to take the matter seriously or take the time and effort required to build this part of the relationship. They don’t believe that it is their problem and that the other partner is to blame for it and needs the fixing.

 

However that is never the case.

Relationships are always a two way street.

It always requires both people to want to connect and come together. It requires both parties to take responsibility for themselves and to not get caught up in their old wounds from the past.

 

Unfortunately, this is where the relationship breaks down.

People often don’t want to do this.

They want the easy street and they say,

“Love should be easy.”

“Love should be perfect.”

 

We are all human.

And there is no such thing as the perfect human.

If you have a list of fifty qualities that you want and count highly important in a mate,

and you believe that you will get ALL of these qualities in one person and until you get them all that you will not settle,

I ask you to look in the mirror and ask of yourself if you exhibit all fifty of them yourself?

 

You are never going to find someone who is 100% of those qualities a hundred percent of the time.

 

They are human.

You are human.

And life changes and transforms us.

Some qualities can be developed over time.

Some are just there and a natural part of who we are,

some are based on energetic connections,

while others have everything to do with our gene pool.

 

If you are counting any of these qualities as love though,

you are mistaken.

 

Qualities do not define love.

 

They add to love.

They sweeten the pot.

 

Love is something that you cannot explain,

nor does it need to be explained.

It just is.

And when it is felt on both sides now you have something special.

 

LOVE COMES FROM BEING ABLE TO BE YOURSELF WITH SOMEONE ELSE, UNMASKED.

 

When we can do this with someone,

we feel acceptance and love for self and it translates to “loving someone else” because we see the reflection of what we are feeling for self as what we see coming or going toward another.

 

When we “fall in love” or catch feels for someone,

what is actually happening is that we are witnessing ourselves in love. We are falling in love with self and this other person is simply helping us see our own beauty.

 

That is why the best friend statement is so powerful.

In friendship there is an acceptance, an unconditional love.

It goes past all that life can change for us,

like our physical bodies appearance,

our health or financial status,

it looks past our ups and downs and even past the chemical connectors that we have on the front side of a romantic relationship that over the course of three to five years diminish and change.

 

But for some reason, we humans believe that love should be perfect.

That these connecting chemicals should ALWAYS be there,

that the energy and excitement of the first kiss is the way that we will remain throughout all of time,

that the person who is standing before us perfect in their skin of today will never change,

that the feelings that we are having will just remain unwavering.

Or that if we do not have all these sudden rushes of ignition but that we do deeply care and connect in all other ways that this is not or cannot be real love.

That it is “ONLY FRIENDSHIP” and we in turn lower it to that level and get frustrated that we cannot find Mr. or Mrs. Perfect that checks all of our boxes on our list of fifty all of the time.

 

And so we remain living in search of something that has been offered to us repeatedly.  Believing that if we explore,

if we open ourselves to the love that is there before us and go as deep as we can with it that we are settling,

we are giving up,

that if they don’t have everything that they are not Mr. or Mrs. Perfect and instead are a waste of our precious time.

 

What we are doing to ourselves in this is denying ourselves the beauty of discovery of love.

 

Love is a quest of self.

Love is about finding out who we really are through our relating with another.

It is about meeting all aspects of self,

and without relationship we will never meet our authentic selves at any depth.

 

When we continue to look for perfection in a mate,

What we are actually saying is that we ourselves are not worthy of our own love until we become PERFECT as well.

 

So how will you ever find Mr. or Mrs. Perfect if you prevent yourself from growing into your whole beautiful self by denying  love to be birthed through a relationship with another imperfect human who is there as your teacher of self love?

 

Chances are your relationship with anyone will not last  in a forever sense.

 

That reality although harsh is still a reality.

We outgrow each other,

and as we change sometimes our mates choose a path of slower or limited growth that creates a breaking point in the relationship,

but if we have come together in friendship and love,

then even the parting is done in the same fashion.

And we each can gain what we need for our own development.

 

It’s time that we start to view relationships and even marriage as the opportunity to explore self and learn to love deeply through the witnessing of another that rivets us deeper into our truth.

 

Love is always perfect.

It is always perfect for the moment that the relationship is in.

It is never easy,

but it can always be in flow with who we are.

 

We create our own obstacles to feeling it by trying to make it perfect in every moment and getting irritated with the reality that love, true love requires each party to grow in connection with self first.

 

Where does your love stand?

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn more about how self-love helps create the grounds to call in your soulmate love today? Reach out to me today for deet’s on 1:1 coaching now.

Throne-tood! – Get Some.

Throne-tood!

It’s a THING.

And it’s a thing that you gotta get some of if you want to have the life that you claim that you want.

 

We have been raised to have shame over loving ourselves.

We have been raised to believe that it is wrong or even bad to think highly of ourselves,

or to brag.

And it is “selfish” ( meaning bad) to ask for what we want, need or desire.

 

But instead the correct path to happiness is to look like this so we have been raised to believe…

 

Talk like shit about yourself,

hate on your body,

on your thoughts,

in your life.

 

Be SUPER effing critical about everything and never admit to your glory.

 

Downplay everything good and hype up everything that is not perfect in your life.

 

Make sure that you are NEVER offending everyone else,

because YOU….

yes you are  responsible for everyone else’s feelings, ideas, perceptions, thoughts and actions,

so make sure to never mess up or have an opinion that does not match whomever you are with.

 

Put others before yourself at all costs.

Exhaust yourself and keep giving,

but don’t bitch that you are at your breaking point.

 

Suck it up.

Don’t show your emotions,

any of them but “blase.”

Indifference is the best path,

even if it’s not true.

 

Your anger,

your sadness,

your joy,

hide because it is too effing much for the world around you.

 

Fear everything.

And know that you are most likely at fault for the crap no matter what,

and if it’s not you then feel offended instantly,

if anyone says different or God forbid

goes against all of these rules of how to live a happy successful life.

 

And just be happy with it already,

‘cus this baby is what life is all about.

 

This is living the dream.

This is success.

 

F-cking crazy as all hell is’nt it?

I mean when I write it out  like that,

unless you are blind, dumb and stupid,

then you have to admit that anyone who actually thinks or feels this way is NEVER going to be thriving,

going to experience success or empowerment,

never going to feel confident.

Most likely only be used and hurt frequently,

will have a crappy backbone,

will not know themselves or anyone else for that matter,

and will simply not ever touch happiness.

 

So what is the answer?

 

Get a f-cking THRONE-TOOD!

 

There I said it.

It is high time that you started to value yourself.

Claiming your life, ‘calling in your blessings,

being a conscious co-creator,

manifesting a life that is full of wonder, love and success,

REQUIRES YOU TO PUT YOUR CROWN ON.

 

 

As long as you keep disrespecting God’s glory and power and not allowing his power and will to move through your life,

then you will keep falling prey to this stinking thinking love.

 

As long as you keep believing that God wants you to walk looking down at the ground,

tripping in misery over all that you have lost and ignoring the joy that your life could be,

then you will never feel the wonder of walking with you head held high,

your eyes meeting others in unconditional love and acceptance,

or the witnessing of the miracles that happen daily,

IN YOUR LIFE.

 

As long as you keep being available for scarcity,

and never picking up that crown that God has handed you,

then you will continue to suffer by your own hand.

 

And you will forever remain a slave to the enemy known as fear.

 

Oh, beautiful, don’t you see the path that you are too walk.

Can you not feel the call in your soul?

 

Now in our world we need more than ever before for you to RISE UP….

SPEAK UP…

LIGHT UP….

 

But that means that you have to accept that many who choose to remain in darkness and pain will be disgusted by your choice.

 

They will call you names,

they will hate on you and shame you,

they will want to tear you down in any way they can,

and they will make you doubt your path.

 

It will require you to have courage,

to love yourself more than you thought possible and to walk in FAITH.

 

And if you choose to step away from the many who still remain in fear,

if you choose to instead embrace your power,

and the love that the universe/God has for you,

then your life will be one of bliss and glory.

 

And THAT…

THAT is what we are each to do.

That is how we celebrate life,

honor God,

and THRIVE.

 

Are you ready, love?

Are you ready to finally say F-ck Yes! to yourself and your dreams and stop making excuses and sharing the thousands of reasons as to why you cannot do/be/have?

But instead just step firmly in faith on this path before you that is calling you?

 

Are you ready to stop giving your power just lip service but acting in faith on it?

 

I can tell you that many people say they are light workers,

they claim to be abundant,

they proclaim their faith,

and they say they believe in magic and miracles,

they even proudly state that they get manifesting and that they are powerful manifestors….

 

and they are.

For sure.

 

But, if you are struggling,

if you are suffering,

if you are feeling lost, tired and lonely…

 

Then baby, you are not really claiming your crown.

If you are not happy, (truly)

then you still have not figured it out,

and it YOU that this is written for.

It is you that need to KNOW YOUR WORTH.

 

It’s time to pick that crown up and have a THRONE-TOOD….

Because the life that you want for DEMANDS IT!

 

So Get One.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to step forward and say yes to your crown love?

Ready to stop being available for suffering, pain and misfortune?

 

Let’s speak today about no more reasons and excuses,

and get that crown picked up and put where it rightfully goes.

 

Message for deet’s.

The Land Of Nobody…

Good Morning Beautiful!

How did you sleep?

Were your slumbers restful and pleasant or did they have you tossing in your bed?

 

Did you wake refreshed, vibrant and charged for this day or are you among the many of the walking dead,

those who cannot bear the idea of waking because it’s just another groundhog day?

 

Day in and day out,

the same events,

the same stories,

the same people.

 

Waking with a feeling of “why?”

And does any of it,

Especially me, even matter?

 

Looking about your life and questioning if anyone truly cares.

Or are they only there for what you have to offer,

at their convenience.

 

Yes, you know that feeling.

That feeling of,

“Nobody sees me. Nobody loves me. Nobody cares.”

 

This beautiful is the Land of Nobody.

 

And it is not a pretty place to reside.

It is not a place that you can manifest your dreams from,

it will never call into your life your ideal lover,

the money that you crave for,

the health or success.

It will never bear the fruit of happiness.

Because  you see beautiful,

the Land of Nobody,

is a fictitious land that you have created your misery from.

It is a land that you have bought into,

because it is what you feel comfortable in.

 

Oh yes,

I just said that beautiful.

 

The Land of Nobody is one that brings you comfort.

That is a hard pill to swallow I know.

But it is so true.

Just as true as it is that this land will not bring you what you claim you want for,

and most certainly will not bring you what your soul is calling you toward,

and you see THAT is exactly why you are feeling so lost in yourself,

so alone,

so unloved,

so fearful,

so unseen,

unheard,

uncared for or valued.

 

And it is from this place of “UN” that you keep calling in the evidence to support your comfort in suffering.

 

You feel all the “UN” because IT IS NOT TRUE.

 

Your soul KNOWS differently.

Your soul see’s who you really are and what your life has to offer,

but you are withholding yourself from all your glory by focusing in on the finding of the evidence,

the proving to yourself and anyone who will listen,

that you are in the Land of Nobody wants me.

 

And the sad truth beautiful is that as long as you sit here,

focused on the “UN” and the nobody with such passion,

you will NEVER be able to “fix” the problem of what you are manifesting.

 

You will never feel loved.

You will never feel valued.

You will never feel wanted.

 

From this space.

And you will certainly not attract anyone into your world that will “MAKE YOU” feel that way.

 

Because you have created and keep creating a great momentum around not having it show up for you,

that even when the universe/God sends things into your life,

to show you how abundant and loved you really are,

you reject them by looking the other way,

or pushing your will onto life in an attempt to control it and “make it” happen,

thus supporting your need to show that you can’t have it without a fight.

 

Your belief is that life is hard.

That you must suffer.

That you have to work hard to get things that you want.

Your belief is that life is out to get you in some fashion and does not have your back.

 

But that belief is just a thought that you keep active by focusing on finding evidence for it.

 

You “think” it is such and therefore it is.

But you have to change the thoughts in your head,

and the way you are feeling about your life.

You have the WAKE THE F-CK UP.

And start witnessing what could be by putting your focus on that and then not trying to force it into existence.

 

God/Universe does not like being controlled like that,

Does not like having its hands tied,

and if you keep tieing them then you will keep getting what you have been,

because what you want for gets offered day in and day out,

opportunities to have it knock at your door,

but you keep your door locked up tight not allowing the Universe/God to reveal to you your value, your worthiness.

 

So if you won’t let the energy that has created universes to show you a brilliant life worth living and enjoying,

and all your dreams manifesting,

then how the f-ck do you ever expect the people in your life to show it to you?

 

YOU BEAUTIFUL have to open up to it.

You are the only one who can access any of it.

Putting your needs and desires onto others and then getting mad that they won;t do what you want,

when you want,

how you want,

is a self-centered, spoiled, egotistical action.

And will only keep providing you with not having.

 

So if you are among the millions who woke up today,

focused on not having what you want in life,

feeling like you are unloved,

unappreciated,

“UN” somethinged….

 

Then this message is directed at you.

Because I fully understand that feeling of “UN”

that feeling of walking around the Land of Nobody,

and I can tell you that no solution or joy ever came from this place.

 

And we each may venture into this land every now and then,

but it is up to us,

and ONLY US,

venture right back out.

 

So take back your power beautiful,

stop handing it over to the ebbs of your life,

stop looking to not be supported,

and instead KNOW that you are with certainty.

Know that you are loved,

because you love yourself enough to wake the f-ck up and feel it for yourself,

you love yourself enough to stop disrespecting your life,

and instead to open up to it and receive its glory.

 

 

You are worthy beautiful.

You are loved.

You are appreciated and valued.

 

Venture In Certainty for what you want not what you fear.

 

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

Let’s do this!

You and me,

this summer.

Break free from your shiz once and for all and fall in love with the dynamic, powerhouse that YOU are.

No one is like you.

And you have a life worth sharing,

worth enjoying.

You have one life love.

One.

Let’s make it a F-ck Yes! One NOW.

Message me for deet’s on how to do this.

Speak Up Your Life.

Speak Your Vibe Up!
Speak it,
yell it,
talk about it.
You speak things into existence.
So be effing conscious of what you are manifesting.
The last few days I have been working with a bunch of people,
beautiful souls each and every one of them,
intelligent, courageous, strong, passionate, spiritual, loving people.
This is my tribe.
These are my clients.
And I am so proud of where each of them are and how they keep witnessing themselves and loving themselves into greatness.
However, the last few weeks there is a running theme.
And the theme is shitty talking,
I mean trash talk. Not smut talk, not crazy sexual talk,
but sheer trash thoughts that don’t make them feel good about life or self.
I see them getting caught up in loops of pain and suffering,
using terms such as,
“I can’t.”
“I tried.”
“I am stuck.”
And so many others.
These words are speaking them down.
Down in vibration.
Down in thought.
Down in emotion.
Down in movement and growth,
healing.
My response typically lands me a middle finger response or a “F – You!” as they don’t enjoy being told to STOP IT.
It’s not that easy to just STOP IT.
Beacuse these words are so natural and they are clarity based on relaity. There is passion around these words of “I can’t and I tried.”
It is a natural statement and feels so authentic.
But I want to bring you into a different reality,
the reality that if you are going through something similar as my client shere and feel like you are struggling, that you have been working your butt off but barely making it, that you have tried and tried and tried, but life just keeps showing you pain and struggle,
that you can change it.
You can speak up your vibration.
You can focus your words into creating a different reality for you to observe.
So instead of saying “I can’t”
Try saying “OMG! this _______________ is so amazing. It is the most magnificent thing.”
Skip the I can and go straight to the creation of what you are wanting.
For instance….
Say you are making $50,000 a year but you want to make more. You are putting in the time and effort but you are not seeing any change in income yet,
instead of saying,
” I am trying to figure out a way to make extra money to offset things but nothing seems to be popping for me.”
Say…(to yourself outloud in the mirror)
“I am so excited, I just made an extra $500 this week!”
“I am earning $75,000) this year, it’s magnificent.”
When we use words such as magnificent, fantastic, wonderful, beautiful, incredible they carry with them a higher vibration. We instantly change our energy.
But what is more important to realize here is that our words,
all of them CREATE.
They are the nails, the boards and the glue of our lives manifestations. From our words we build what our life experience is. And this is why so many people are struggling with their health, wealth and relationships.
Just yesterday I was speaking with a beautiful young woman that I am currently working with and I shared with her that when I turned 30 years old everyone around me told me how it was all downhill from here. That I was going to feel the age, I was going to gain weight and could not lose it, that I would start to get sick more and end up on medications and that I was now old.
I laughed about that and said, “That’s not my reality. My 30’s are going to be magnificent. Playful, healthy and strong.” I told myself how beautiful I was and how great I felt.
And guess what, it was so.
When I turned 40 I heard all the same shiz.
Except people told me that I was lucky that it did not happen in my 30’s, but now….
now it was for sure going to happen.
I was on the back side of my life.
And here I am at 44, mother to seven, and I feel great.
I get told all the time I don’t look my age,
I have vitality.
I take no medications.
And I still speak up my vibration to,
“That’s not my reality.”
I keep speaking my reality to what I want and I speak it daily in my thoughts,
to myself in the mirror,
I allow myself to act youthful,
I play,
I enjoy adventures,
I enjoy life.
And so it is that my life experience corresponds to what I am speaking into existence.
So many folks do the opposite though and they grow old and sickly just because they believe that when they hit a certain number of age that that’s the way it is supposed to be and they speak their lives down.
This is true with any subject area of our lives.
We can speak it up or we can speak it down.
So if you are one of the naysayers to your life and you are speaking about how you can’t, or how you are struggling,
how life is hard, how much pain you are in, how much crap keeps happening to you,
then all I can say is….
STOP IT!
Stop creating your misery.
Life is not doing anything to you that you are not asking for.
That you are not speaking into your experience.
And the more you play those negative records on replay,
the more you emotionalize the fear and pain, the struggle and drama,
and believe that its normal,
that its just the way it is because of your age, your income status, your sex, your country or religion,
the more you create with certainty.
It does not have to be that way though.
You can SPEAK UP YOUR VIBRATION,
thus the things that attract into your life expereince.
But you have to be willing to take responsibility for what you are saying to self and to everyone you come into conversation with.
You must watch your words.
They have power.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to learn how to Speak Up Your Vibe to Manifest the Life that You Really want to be living?
Message me on deet’s for my 1:1 coaching opportunities now.

What You Want For, Is Already Yours. – Here Is How.

OMFG! Do I ever have the travel bug up my butt!

Here I sit, the sun is out,

it’s freaking beautiful outside,

and my soul,

which likes to hop a plane every 5 weeks or so to go somewhere in our world is stir crazy from just popping around the back yard, a few parks and lakes and hanging with my closests peeps.

 

I am sure you can feel me on this.

I just want my feet in the sand,

or to breathe in the crisp air of the mountains,

or hike through a rainforest.

I don’t need to go popping through a city or even a village and meet new peeps.

I need mother nature,

and I need it outside of my own backyard.

I need to be set free.

 

And I am sure you do too.

 

But you see, freedom is not something that we gain from the outside.

Much like love, compassion, empathy, worthiness, or forgiveness,

freedom does not come from the outside first.

It is a feeling.

Just like all the other feelings I just listed.

 

And if we focus on the feeling,

and we just enjoy it for what it is,

and that is what we want,

then we already have at any given moment what we desire.

 

But we tend to get caught up with saying that we want this feeling…

 

whatever that might be,

or we might even go as far to claim that we already have it,

and say that we are so grateful for it,

but when it comes down to it,

we are looking for the results of something physical to happen to support that feeling that we were playing with.

 

And that’s just the issue.

We play with our feelings.

 

We don’t just have them and enjoy them and let them be the seeds to the life that we want,

we play with them and toss them all about,

then as with anything we are playing with,

we get tired of them,

or we drop them and…. oops, they shatter.

When we drop a feeling we do it by taking our focus off of the enjoyment of the feeling just being with us and start to look for physical evidence of the feeling,

such as the money in the bank,

the lover in our bed,

the return of a healthy body,

etc.

 

And when we do this,

crash… the feel leaves us and we are left with doubt.

We are left with fear.

Because now we fall back into the concept that we have to have this outside “thing” to be the feeling.

And if that “thing” is not there then obviously we cannot be the feeling we want.

 

So we attach our feelings to objects and relationships.

We attach our joy and happiness to these things and we steal our beautiful life from ourselves when we do this.

 

I will not lie,

I want to travel. And I want to get out of dodge quickly,

I am antsy as all heck.

And I will most likely book myself and family a VRBO on the gulf of Mexico sometime in the next two weeks.

Cuz, that’s the way I roll.

But, until that, I am not going to focus on the not happening right now in the physical aspect.

Because the reality is…

 

MY LIFE IS EFFING AMAZING.

and I am free.

 

I am free to think the thoughts that I want.

I am free to think and feel good vibes.

I am free to increase my vibration.

I am free to smile.

I am free to laugh.

I am free to grow.

I am free to enjoy the people that I want to enjoy.

I am free to delight in life.

I am free to share my joy.

I am free to focus my attention to the life that I am calling in and the life expansion that I want for.

I am free….

 

Because I feel free RIGHT NOW.

And it will stay such as long as I keep my focus on feeling it NOW.

 

So luv…

 

IT’S EFFING TIME!

It’s time to cut loose.

It’s time to say lets get a move on.

It’s time to open up and stop feeling so much reservation about everything.

It’s time to know your power.

It’s time to stop being fearful of everything.

It’s time to make some shit happen.

It’s time to call it all in and live it.

 

It’s time.

It’s your time.

 

It’s time to own your freedom.

Own your worthiness.

Own your lovability.

Own your power.

 

 

But you have to be willing to want for it enough to let yourself have it right now,

because THAT is the only way you will ever attract it in physical manifestation.

 

Are you ready to set yourself free?

 

Lets Go.

 

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

 

It is time that you say YES to you.

 

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.