Forced Consent is Not Authentic Consent.

You can’t touch this….
Touch.
Hands on attention.
Something that is so needed,
so human, so intimate and connective.
 
Yes touch is something beautiful.
Unless it is not wanted.
Unless it is given when it is not appropriate.
Unless it is out of one’s boundaries or it is forced upon someone.
 
And it is this final statement that I want to address today.
As a woman who has experienced her fair share of trauma,
and speak about the healing process,
the psychological issue around and how to best prevent further trauma in life,
It has come to my attention over the last week the power of touch, yet again.
 
The same touch that can show love can also trigger fear.
Our hands and fingers can open in a hug and give one with deep care and no desire to harm another,
these same hands and fingers can penetrate another person with fear and trigger old wounds as well as cause new ones with the same action of a hug.
 
How can that be?
How is it possible?
Does that mean that we should just not touch anyone?
Yet here we are a touch deprived society.
Hungry for touch and the fact that we are so deprived has us uncertain as to what is healthy and what is not,
because we are deprived and not taught proper respect and boundaries,
permissions and body language signs,
because we want what we want and tend to overlook another person’s feelings or obvious gestures of not wanting to be touched,
we push ourselves onto others with great disregard to what we may actually be triggering in them or re-anchoring from a past wound.
 
Touch can be healing,
but it can also be harming.
 
Outside of the harmful touch of physical abuse which is what you may think when you read the words of touch can be harmful,
it can still be harmful with a loving, caring, even playful touch.
 
I will bring to the attention what our society is being taught.
 
Recently in America we have dealt with the conversation of touch with our very president being captured stating:
 
“Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”
 
This is an extreme statement about touch.
About taking what you want with disregard to another human being. And I see the fall out of this statement in many relationship scenarios from parenting to lovers,
from friends to colleagues.
 
Every time we ask our child for a hug or a kiss and they say “no” and we respond with,
“Come on, mommy/daddy need’s a hug.”
” Give me hug and then you can go.”
“I will give you this if you give me a hug or a kiss.”
 
We are disrespecting our child’s space and answer.
We are teaching our child that it is okay to ignore a “no” and to even try and bribe, guilt or push further for what you want with total disrespect to another’s desire, boundary or need.
 
This then translates to adults who believe that it is okay to push for what they want with a spouse or partner.
 
It translates to adults who do not respect the space, time or feelings of another in any relationship situation.
 
It translates to adults who do not take responsibility for their actions, as they feel that they are doing what they are doing out of a “good” place or a “just or deserving” place, as though they have the right when in fact they do not,
and that no matter how good or right our actions may be,
if they are harming toward another’s boundaries or desires then we need to pause and respect what we are being told or what we are witnessing in energy,
body language coming from another person.
 
Touch.
It is so very powerful.
And our boundaries around it can ebb and flow within any relationship and moment by moment in our lives.
A touch that felt good yesterday may very well close us down to connection the next.
 
And the thing to remember about touch is that it extends past the physical.
 
Touch is about how we touch another person.
 
We can touch another person with our physical body,
we can touch them with our words,
we can touch them with the look from our eye’s,
the expression on our face.
We touch other’s all the time.
How you touch them is the question that I encourage you to review in your life today?
 
Are you honoring and respectful?
Do you listen to their body language as well as their words?
Can you hear their truth and accept it just as that,
without needing approval from them or needing a reason as to why they think, feel or need what they need?
 
Or are you operating from a place of self-centeredness?
A place of need and hunger?
 
When you are in relationship with anyone,
no matter the intimacy level or actual label on the relationship,
do you give…
do you touch…
do you speak…
do you act…
out of the place of unconditional respect and love or are you wanting something and wanting to feel a certain way,
with the belief that if this other person “supports” (gives) you what you are wanting by allowing you to act, speak, give, touch, etc… the way that you deem good in that moment,
that this is what “should” happen and it is “okay” because that is just the way that you want it to be?
 
We are all guilty of ignoring another and insisting that they feel or think a way that we want them too instead of how they may actually be feeling or thinking.
 
We are all guilty of wanting something from another at times.
We are all guilty of missing ques in body language or tones, even not hearing words fully and crossing over boundaries.
We are all guilty of being self-centered.
 
No one wants to feel rejected.
No one wants to feel like they have hurt someone that they care for.
 
The reality is that when in relationship,
we will hurt those we care for.
We will not always be present with them.
And we will have hidden expectations if nothing else that we are not aware of that may cause issues along the path.
 
But if we want to act out of love,
if we want to be emotionally mature,
and trustworthy,
if we want to expand and deepen a relationship,
then each of us MUST take responsibility for how we choose to touch those around us.
 
With our words.
With our physical bodies.
With our looks.
With our expectations.
And assumptions.
 
And we must learn to respect the “No” without question of why.
 
Because no one owes you an explanation of why they are feeling any way,
just like you do not owe anyone an explanation as to why you think or feel any particular way either.
 
But to push your will on another,
is a breaking of truth,
it is dishonoring to the relationship and to both parties in relationship,
and it shows the desperation of one’s need and lack of actual care for another.
Making it detrimental to the relationship.
 
Pay attention to what you are seeing,
to what you feel coming from another person,
not not what you want to feel or see.
 
Realize that your truth about any particular thing may not be the same as another’s and if you are interacting with another person you NEED their consent to involve them.
 
How are you toughing those in your life today?
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
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STOP BEING A YES WHORE.

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STOP BEING A YES WHORE.

Wow! Kendal that is a harsh statement for a Friday morning.

What do you mean by, “Yes Whore?”

You are guilty beautiful of doing just this.
I am guilty too.
There is not a soul on this planet that has not fallen into the illusion of being a yes whore and believing that it is the road to our happiness.

Every time you say YES to someone and you actually mean NO, you are in an essence whoring yourself out and dishonoring self and the relationship that you are YESSING all over.

Every time that inauthentic YES pops out of your mouth and you find yourself swallowing your own needs, desires, ideas, and value because you feel that you “should” do this or that to be a nice person, to be helpful, to offer support, to show you love, etc. etc.

You sabotage yourself!
You sabotage the relationship.
And you loose respect.

I have been in the business of relationship coaching in one facet or another for two decades now and the one thing that I hear repeatedly is, ” I can’t say no, that would be mean.”

“He is my husband… I love him, I can’t say no.”
“She is so sweet and working so hard, she needs this/needs me… I can’t say no.”
“They are really struggling right now, I can’t say no.”
“They need me.”
“I don’t know how I am going to do it but I can’t say no.”

And following these wonderful words of what seem’s like love and support come…

” I am so exhausted, I just don’t have anything left to give, why can’t they/he/she see that?”

“I just feel like a all people ever want me for is ___________________.”

“You know, I have had it… I have been busting myself open here, doing everything I can, to show how much I care and I ask for one small thing and get told no after everything that I have done.”

“Doesn’t he/she see that I really don’t want to do that/feel like it?

“I would be all alone if I said what I really want or need.”

These and so many other things in so many subjects of our lives.

Just think about all the moments that you actually wanted to respond with NO but opted to say yes because you did not want to hurt the relationship, the other persons feelings or damage your value in the relationship.

Think of all those moments that if you get real with yourself you answered YES because you were answering out of fear and/or lack of self-worth.

Well you see beautiful,
these are the times that you were whoring yourself out.

There is no honor or respect in being out of integrity and not being honest with your answer.

You answered YES in exchange for something that you wanted or needed. You put little value on what is so precious and worth so much in hopes that you could,
if but only for a short time,
buy someones love, time, appreciation,
so that you would feel good.

But the funny thing is,
much like a whore who is just selling off their sex and not looking for anything real, lasting or of value,
you find yourself having to consistently whore yourself out to the point of being used up just to get a taste of what you are actually wanting.
And much like the client of the whore who is trying to fill a void and is just buying the illusion of the intimacy and connection,
you are finding yourself feeling used, abused and alone.

The relationships that you are doing this with are the relationships that you need to GET REAL with yourself on.

If you want to experience true happiness.
If you want to be respected.
If you want to have that soulmate relationship based in love,
if you want to feel supported, safe, understood,
If you want to stop questioning yourself and the relationships that you have,
and just BE YOU-
and THRIVE.

if you want that F-ck YES! Life…

Well is starts by you STOPPING YOURSELF FROM BEING A YES WHORE.

The ONLY person you need to answer YES to ALWAYS….

Is YOU.

And you see, if you answer yes to you 100% of the time,
you will find that you will be living authentically and in integrity.
And guess what that means beautiful?

It means you will gain trust, respect, real love and support.
It means that you will NOT ALWAYS make someone else happy,
that you will respect and love yourself enough to know that you are not responsible for anyone else’s emotional response, mental thoughts or even physical actions.
It means that you will no longer be enabling another’s victim mindset in their unconscious maneuver to control you and feel loved themselves.

It means that you will be one step closer to manifesting the life that you are worthy of.

So Stop Being a YES WHORE and Release Yourself from That Which Binds You.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

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Stop Dishonoring Your Soul – It Knows Who You Truly Are and What Step’s Will Make You Happy.

My heart bleeds for all of us in this world.
As a coach through the years I have heard so many tales of horror, of trauma, abuse and misunderstandings.
I have witnessed so many unable to stand in their truth,
scared to speak up for themselves,
and allowing others to run all over them in so many areas of their lives.
For the last 10+ years I have had my practice focused on sex and relationship coaching, helping singles and couples. Couples work has been a passion for me however.

Today my coaching practice has moved more into abundance and prosperity coaching thanks to my beautiful clients who requested my focus to change as they noticed that they would come to me to heal their communication, intimacy and relationship challenges and they had the side benefit of watching their lives change in their finances as well.
They discovered that in doing work around their intimate relationships that they were also lacking in other subject areas and what I was teaching them about their intimacy and sex also applied to money and purpose.

Well, here I am today in 2019,
with a beautiful practice and lovely clients who I adore so much and find myself in gratitude for daily. I woke this morning feeling a wobble in my energy around my practice, in what direction I wanted to focus RIGHT NOW, what was needed from me, where was I to step next to best help these souls that I share with daily and in truth I was lost.

God is amazing I have found.
Always getting those who desire to be in alignment back on path softly when we remain open to the messages.

And so my day has brought me full circle.
Wobble has drifted off and I feel directed, guided and clearer.
Back to where I have ALWAYS been.
No niche!

My niche is SOUL!

And today my message is just about that.

SOUL Niche is where it is at BABY!

I have heard my own mentor speak about no niche,
and I logically got what she was saying and truly believed that I was doing just that,
but today something different has come up from the sea of knowledge and I get it a tad bit more as to what she means when she say’s no niche.

I am a “SOUL Solutions Coach” helping people move through the miscommunications that this world causes for us in ALL subjects of our life.

Bringing it back to humanness.
Bringing it back to love.
Bring it back to what is right will feel right and will not carry with it anger or hatred but love and connection.

When we come into any subject in our lives from SOUL and not ego,
we do not feel threatened,
we do not feel like we must prove anything,
we do not have a desire to control,
to blame, guilt or shame.
And we do not hold putrid thoughts and feelings toward anyone on this planet because their truth is not our truth and they choose to speak it in any fashion.

SOUL is respect for all humans beliefs, ways of being, and showing up.

SOUL is focused on building trust by not attacking with words or actions.

SOUL understands that each individual has boundaries and that we don’t have to agree with them but we do need to respect them.

SOUL understands that our words and actions play a significant role on the emotional, physiological, spiritual and physical bodies of self and others.

SOUL knows that our life is not about segregation but instead unity. Between people and subjects in our lives.

SOUL is about being captivated. Not by control or shame or anything other than SOUL – This being captivated means that you will feel CALLED to what you need, to the steps that you should take, to the lessons that you are to learn and toward love and gratitude, beauty and worthiness.

And so I come full circle today to the realization that I had so many years back,

“One Heart – One Soul”

This is how our world elevates its consciousness.
This is how we elevate our individual lives in all subjects.
To truly understand Namaste.

“I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth, of light, and of peace. When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, we are one.”

And honoring the light of SOUL is all that we can ever do in some situations as some individuals are eaten up by hatred, fear of their own light and worthiness and desire to control, manipulate and terrify those they claim to love, those they desire to be like and those that test their beliefs and fears.

Still, the most beautiful thing that any of us can ever off is just this HONOR of SOUL.

Speak from here beautiful.
Look from here.
Touch from here.
Communicate from here.

Ignore the fear that your ego will toss before you on this path,
ignore the concept that anyone is better than another,
ignore the concept that you must bow to them and let them have their way even if they are the one you wake next too each morning.

Because the act of hatred will never be love.
The act of taking will never be love.
The act of shaming will never be love.
The act of blaming will never be love.

So never settle or allow yourself to believe that it is.
You are WORTHY.
You are LOVE.

Namaste

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

Know Yourself Sweet Man To Have The Woman That You Want.

Only the divine masculine can hold space for a relationship with the divine feminine.

You say that you desire a relationship with a woman.
A woman who knows herself.
A woman who is passionate, turned on and comfortable in her own skin.
You say that you want a woman who will honor and respect you.
You say that you want a woman who is loyal.
A good mother.
A partner in life.
A woman who loves deep,
ans fierce.
You say so much dear man.

But what you must realize,
is that this sort of woman that you claim that you desire,
that you state you are holding out for,
that you are searching all the corners of your world for and just cannot seem to find…

Yes this woman.

She will DEMAND the same from you.
She will push your boundaries.
She will command your heart.
She will devour you if you are weak.
She will not settle for anything less than what she wants in a her man.
And this woman.
This woman want a MAN.

Not just any man.
She is strong in herself.
She does not need you to THRIVE or even to survive.
She is comfortable with being alone.
She knows her goals,
knows her heart,
KNOWS HER WORTH.🙌

If you come to her with your school boy ways,
if you come to her with ideas that your manhood is based in your pants or in your bank account,
she may play with you for a bit…💃
she may enjoy the offerings of your services,
but if you do not bring to her the true fruit that she desires and deserves then she will cast you out of her world and continue her pursuit.

This woman that you claim that you have been searching for,
that you have yourself believing is hard to find,
may be sitting right beside you as you read these very words.
But in order to unmask her,
you must be willing.
You must be strong.
You must be in truth of who you are.

Do you know your PURPOSE?
Can you embrace your HEART?
Will you drop your SHIELD?
Will you walk with the stance of a KING?

Or will you continue to cower to this life?

The divine masculine is a masculine on FIRE!🔥🔥🔥

Passionate, Turned On to Life, Fierce, Playful, Confident, Present and On Purpose.

To embrace her you must embody these.
Or let yourself wonder in the jungle of the lost,
who will continue to look for what they will never qualify to call in.
But in turn settle for the false relationships,
the heated moments,
the fleeting pleasures of illusion.

The divine masculine KNOWS that to have this woman that his SOUL craves,
he must first LEAD himself to his path,
and walk it in strength,
in courage,
and with enthusiasm of what he will discover within himself.
The way to this woman’s heart,
is through your own.

Uncovering.
Unearthing.
Unmasking.

The reveal of your DIVINE MASCULINE,
the answers to your questions,
the desire of having her,
the search of what you want.

Yes sweet man,
until YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE…
until YOU FIND YOUR COURAGE…
until YOU BECOME A LEADER…
until YOU KNOW THE POWER OF YOUR HEART…

You will never entertain her.
For this woman,
she is wild,
free and on purpose.

And only a REAL MAN will dance with her. 💃💃💃

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

I know that you may be scared.
I have been in those shoes before all too many time.
But that fear is not going to stop you.
You are powerful.
Introducing 12- weeks of “Unstoppable Power – It’s My Time To Fly!”
This is a once in a life time to work with me 1:1 from anywhere in the world.
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Stop letting everything be an excuse!
You deserve better than those reasons you have to stay trapped in your comfort bubble of suffering.
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You Are Worthy Of Authentic Love.

 
It’s high time beautiful that you STOP the silliness of always saying yes when you mean no.
 
Yeah I see you over there.
faking that smile.
Faking that reaction.
Feeling like you have too,
when in truth you just simply are not all that in to that shiz.
 
But you still say yes.
You say yes because its programmed into you to say yes.
You say yes because you don’t want to rock the boat,
you do not want to cause a confrontation,
you most certainly don’t want to feel separation.
 
What does it matter any way?
Your opinion, your needs or desires.
You are a nice person.
You are not greedy.
You are not selfish.
You put other’s first.
Just the way you were taught.
 
I get it.
 
The issue is that you are dried up.
You are worn out.
You just keep saying yes and thinking that your yes will fill you up because giving is so good.
 
Except you forgot to give to the most important person beautiful.
 
You forgot to take care of the most valuable player in your life.
 
YOU.
 
And so you now have so little of you left to give.
You are fatigued,
lost and off centered.
You don’t have the stamina or energy to keep going and you most likely are questioning if you can.
 
But you just said another inauthentic yes to someone,
and so you must.
You must keep your head up and smile.
 
You are afraid that if you state your truth.
If you say NO –
that this relationship you are giving yourself away for will be no more.
You are afraid you will be judged, criticized, hurt someones feelings, or worse yet be abandoned by them.
 
If you really stop and feel into this,
you should see the silliness of this idea.
If this relationship is meant to be,
if it is a friendship,
a love based relationship,
a relationship that is based on truth and trust…
then why would it go away just because you are a no to something?
 
Now, if the relationship is based simply on you doing what the other wants and needs at all cost,
and you not getting your needs met,
or there is zero allowance for your authenticity,
then perhaps it is high time that you reconsider the value of this relationship in your life.
 
Perhaps you should look at this relationship and question what exactly you are making yourself available for and WHY?
 
Does this relationship make you happy?
Does it fulfill you?
Do you feel like this relationship is equally yoked?
 
Or are you just bending over backward out of fear of being alone.
Out of fear of loss.
Fear that there is nothing better than this,
that you are not deserving of it?
 
Well, I want you to realize that YOU ARE WORTHY of love.
 
And any relationship that says that it is love but demands you to NOT be authentic to get this love, is NOT LOVE.
 
It’s a LIE.
 
You deserve much better than this.
And deep in your heart you know it is true.
It is what pulls at you when you find yourself holding yourself and trying to comfort yourself when you actually need the arms of your relationship.
 
It is that sick feeling that comes up in your stomach when you say yes to something but you know that it is not really for you, but you do it anyway.
 
It is that nervousness or that physical constriction that manifests itself when you agree and push yourself to be/do something that you are not.
 
YES YOU KNOW.
 
And it is truly high time that you STOP the silliness of saying yes when you are actually a no.
 
In saying your authentic truth you will gain respect,
you will feel more confidence,
you will be embraced more by life and others,
you will be trustworthy.
And guess what those people that DO LOVE YOU,
will still be there.
The one’s who were only there for your hand outs, your service and how you made them feel without care of you,
well they will no longer be there.
 
Or they will see you differently and love you for your truth.
 
Either way,
you are worthy of true love.
But in order for you to have it,
you have to start being true to yourself.
And love yourself enough to speak your heart.
 
Say YES.
Say YES to YOU.
Not to everyone else.
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

Take Caution Not To Dishonor Your Lover’s Love.

You dishonor who I am.
You dishonor my life.
You dishonor the love I have felt.
You dishonor my choices.
You even dishonor yourself.
And for what?

To proclaim that you are better than,
greater than.
That you know,
you understand,
you are more of a man.
Than he.

You proudly stand before me,
claiming your love.
Never stopping to realize that I have felt a greater love then you can even fathom.
You will never know the love that has captivated my heart,
my soul and carried me into the heavens.
You will never know of it,
or understand it because you refuse to accept that I have ever even been loved.
In your proclamations of how you can show me love.
You can reveal to me how a woman is to be cared for.
What “real dating, courting” is about.
That you, yes you are the gentlemen that knows this better than any other who has ever crossed my path.

As you stand there,
with that glimmer in your eye’s,
with that smirk on your face,
with that smugness in your body,
and you vocalize how it should be.
And how you aim to show me.

You do nothing more than dishonor me.

You state with each word of disbelief,
a declaring that I have never felt anything worth anything,
that I am naive,
unknowing,
and have poor taste in men.

If this is true,
if you truly believe that no man has ever really loved me.
If you really believe that,
then why should I believe that you are any better?
And realize that we all have fears around love and being lovable,
so when you make such assumptions,
in an essence you support this fear that I am just that.
Unlovable.

So if I have felt this deep.
If I have opened up in vulnerability to this level,
surrendered my very soul over to another,
smelled of this loves sweetness and been blessed to inhale the intoxicating scent of roses in my love making.
But none of it is true…

Then what possibly could you offer me sir?

You say I was nothing more than a pretty piece on his arm.
You say he wanted me only for my sex.
You say that he had never an intent of going the distance.
You say that he never brought true life experience to me.
You say that he never romanced me properly,
dated me properly.

You say a lot for man that has no clue.
That is blind.
That is making a lot of judgments based on only your own hopes that this is such.

But I will tell you this sir.
I will tell you that you have not a clue.
And because you come at me in such dishonor,
preaching of your love,
trying to kill what I hold dear.

Realize that you will NEVER succeed at killing off this love.
You will never destroy my heart.
Your fear,
your hunger,
your desire to control,
will never compare to that which I hold dear.

I welcome your childish attempts.
They do nothing but strengthen what has always been.

And so I say this loud and true,
please hear me now blind sir,
you have not a chance at ever captivating this heart of mine.

You refuse to listen.
You refuse to truly feel me.
You refuse to accept that in order to come into my heart that you will have to top this love,
and trying to destroy,
to mock,
or make light of what my soul has felt,
is not the way to penetrate my heart.

But I do assure you,
it is the way out of my life.

You dishonor me with your fear.
You dishonor me with your desire to make me small.
You dishonor me with your hatred of my love.

And so we say goodbye.

—————————————————————————–

I share this intimacy from my heart and soul today to all of you gentlemen and women alike who find a need to discredit someone’s past relationships.

No matter your relationship with someone,
but for sure if you have romantic interest in them,
please take heed to this poem here.

Never try to captivate their heart by attempting to destroy a past love.

This only show’s your weakness.
Your fear.

Instead listen to the sweetness that that love has brought to them,
allow yourself to hear,
learn what another has done and what your lover wants more of.

Do not be foolish enough to believe that because this love they speak of is not present in the here and now,
that it is any less than potentially the love of this person’s life.

Not all love is meant to be held for a life time.
But all love does expand us and transform us.

Never make judgments on another’s heart.
You only weaken or destroy your place in theirs.

Instead be –
Present
Open
Vulnerable
Supportive

And cherish this moment with them.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

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You Have Not Earned Her Depth! ( Guest Author Post)

You can’t jump right in!

You have to make her feel you
You have to slowly earn her trust
You have to stroke her heart until she opens

And when you think she is open and you have found your way in… keep going because you’re not even halfway there.

There are a million barriers and blocks that are still in place and your ability to hold her in every sense of the word, earn her true trust, and expand her heart are the only way past these walls.

You think that because you’ve had her body that you have her heart. You are a fool.

You haven’t even tasted a drop of her sexual depth and you won’t until you hold her…

I mean really hold her!
Stand in the heat of her fire and don’t run

You spout pretty words but these words mean nothing to a heart that has heard them before. The feminine doesn’t want your false promises. The feminine wants your presence, your truth, and to be explored in all ways.

You MUST keep the dance going.
You MUST keep diving deeper
You MUST throw her into ecstatic bliss outside of the bedroom as much as inside the bedroom.

You say you want her…. prove it.
You say you desire her… show it.
You say you hunger for her depth… then stop being lazy AF with her heart!

You can’t just walk into a woman’s world and expect her to give herself to you. The beauty of a woman is also her complexity. There are so many layers and they won’t be shown to you until you have proven yourself trustworthy to be shown these depths. And then…. SURPRISE!!! You will find more depths to be explored.

Let me share a quick story.

I was with a man that I had known lightly at an intimate level. In all honesty, we didn’t know each other at any great depth but the energy was intriguing and so we explored.

Though in conversation one day he told me he wanted me to share the depths with him of things that had been going on… to trust him, to rip my heart open for him, to see behind my walls.

I got PISSED!!! Yes, I was severely angry at this moment.

How DARE he ask this of me!!!
He hadn’t done a bit of work to earn my heart.
What made him think he was worthy of my trust when there was no stroking at all.

He wanted to “Dry F*ck” my emotions.
No thank you!
That doesn’t sound pleasant.

So I could be left sore, bleeding, and damaged on the ground when he walked away for months not to speak to me again?

He spoke beautiful words
He was amazingly attractive
He was seductive in his touch
He was playful

But I wasn’t into games with my heart
And he didn’t put the effort in of truly stroking my depth
Allowing the true awakening of my arousal.

And if you drop a woman… you close her off even deeper and put your own barriers in the way.

This isn’t about sex… a woman can give you sex. We can easily go in and have what appears to be amazing sex but it’s only the tip of the iceberg of what you could have.

If you want her and I mean really and truly want her…
You have to be willing to go all in.
You have to take the time to open her up.
And I promise you that when you think she is opened to you, that there is more to still be explored.
And the second you stop exploring is the second you will be locked out of heaven!

Go explore your woman’s depth and I promise you will find your depth.
But unless you want to release her fire towards you…
Don’t expect or demand a depth you have not earned.
Yes, you have to earn it!

Sending you all …

Love, Light & Blessings,

Addison Bell

Life Lives Through Us For No Other Reason Than This.

“Emotion rising up,
I can feel it strong in my chest.
Tears want to stream from my eye’s
and escape down my cheeks.
My heart is beating just a bit faster than before.
I am nervous,
I am excited,
I am feeling out of control of the situation.
I can do nothing to help truly,
but be arms to support
and words to hopefully lighten your heart.
Your fear.
My sweet,
I love you so dearly.
And all I can do is tell you this.”
 
It is moments such as this,
that I find myself being reminded of how powerful life is,
how it grabs hold of us and let’s us know it’s hunger.
It hungers for our depth.
It hungers for our passion.
It wants us to claim the moment.
To be present
and attentive.
 
This is where life LIVES.
 
These moments,
fleeting and yet lingering,
as they happen to each and every one of us.
We dance in and out of fear.
Even in the most beautiful space that we might find ourselves,
even in the moments when all that we have worked for
finally seem’s to be manifesting,
fear comes in.
It bares itself to us and makes us aware of how small we are.
How timeless each moment is,
how delicate each breath can be.
Our teacher.
Our conqueror,
it is there by our side.
A friend and foe.
 
And what must we do to escape it’s grip?
There is only one thing,
in any moment that must happen for us to awaken to our truth and lean out of the hold of fear in our life.
 
We must,
with certainty,
and no doubt,
we must feel deeply and know who we are.
For at our core,
at our deep soul level is where we discover all.
It is here in these caverns of our true self that we find all the armor that we need,
which is not armor at all,
but instead a revealing.
An allowing of our true divine selves to be unmasked and revealed, in true raw authenticity and truth.
 
Yes here,
here is where we rule.
Here is where we find our strength.
In all moments in life,
we are meant to expand,
we were born to breathe,
and to feel life living through us.
Only in our unmasking,
and accepting of our depth and truth,
can we do this and conquer fear.
 
But to step firmly into living a life on purpose,
one must consistently be getting ready,
to be ready.
 
And what does this mean?
 
To BREATHE.
To do the mindset work,
to consistently challenge ourselves to be all of who we are.
Not side stepping our truth,
not hiding from our feelings,
not masking our light.
 
No we might have been born to run,
but not to run away from life.
Only to run into its arms,
to have it wash over us,
and through us in each moment of our experience.
From our first breaths to our last,
life is here to cradle us and move through us.
Our only mission is to be it’s vessel in it’s eternal quest to feel what it cannot without us.
 
Yes,
moments such as the one that is breathing through me right now are what expands our potential,
opens our hearts,
teaches us our strength,
and reveals our soul.
 
Moments are all that we ever have.
And each moment is a footstep on our souls journey.
The end will be the arrival back to it’s beginning.
Full and complete.
Expanded into more.
Life living through us,
for no reason other than to feel.
 
And here my love,
is what you must remember,
the desire you feel in your heart,
deep down into your bones,
the passion,
the fear,
the certainty,
the courage,
the vastness and the tightening,
it is all your soul,
begging you to become your truth.
And just FEEL.
Allow yourself to FEEL GOOD NOW,
as your soul desires,
where all your dreams can be realized.
 

As always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 
Want to learn how you to can activate a life on purpose?
To live your calling, that deep soul mission.
Where life is magical and your dreams are being realized.
 
Let me take your hand beautiful and show you the steps to reveal that F-ck Yes! Lifestyle NOW.
 
Explore my Prosperity Lifestyle Coaching for Entrepreneurs or ANYONE who desires to stop living Average in their work, love and life.
 
 
Photographyinwonderland. credit for picture. Thank you for the beautiful artistic shoot.

Warrior of the Goddesses Heart

I know what I want.
I know my desire.
I feel my heart yearning.
Calling for me to breathe,
breathe life back into it.
To not fear love.
Or to be loved.
To not belittle love,
offered at my doorway.

I hear my lovers words,
the sweetness they make,
the commitment they stand before,
the desire that erupts in them,
and the love.
The love that they are carried on.

I hear him share his heart,
I feel his soul hold space,
for me as I share in return.
I share my fear.
I share my struggle,
I share my desire.
And I want to run.

Can he be the one that can hold me?
Is he willing to really love me?
Or will he crumble
from my weight,
the weight of who I am
and all I want to become.

His words are nothing new to my ears.
Unfortunate tales that many a sailor in my feminine currents have sung before him.

They all long to be the one.
They long to capture my heart.

They enjoy my body,
they are intrigued by my mind,
they get lifted by my spirit,
but they know that the true battle,
the crusade is for my heart.

And it is a heart that has been scorned,
a heart that has been tossed away as it opened deeper.

My lover looks at me with loving eyes,
he aims to penetrate my soul,
he desires for me to feel his commitment,
his certainty,
he is confident that he can hold me
and dance in my fire.

His voice echos words of my past loves.
He shares he does not want me to change.
He does not want to control me.
That he,
yes he can love me and I am not to much.

I feel his heart,
I hear his belief,
but these words are easy to say,
while you sit by the fire and get caught up in its mystery.
What will he do when my fire escapes its container?
What will he do when it desires to over take his heart?
When it burns,
burns in its glory,
in its beauty.

Sure he will enjoy its dance,
but will he be able to handle it being ignited?

Through time and space we dance,
we open and close.
I look away but for a second,
as I sense him leaning in.
My soul wants to be taken.
My heart wants to be penetrated.
But alas,
the fear conquers them.
It masks the emotions that beg to be seen,
and it makes me retreat.

Retreat once again,
I will.
Back into my lonely cave.
Where I feel safe.
Safe in my not having.
Safe in my not being seen,
if even for a bit longer.
Yet he still see’s me.
And I know this.
He leans in further,
his lips softly open,
he asks for a kiss.

My heart shakes,
it rumbles in fear and excitement.
For all it ever wants,
wants to be chased,
wants to be desired,
wants to be opened,
wants to not be given up on.

In its wanting,
he steps a bit further into the fire,
and proclaims his presence.
Asking for my depth.
Asking for my emotion.
Asking for my fire.

And so it is,
that I breathe in.
Just one breath,
just one perhaps.

And answer him in the only way I can,
in this moment.
This perfect moment of our lives.

“As you wish.”
Comes from my lips as we meet once again.

————————–————————–

To all those who have loved and lost,
loved deeper than they can ever share,
who have tasted true love and will never settle for anything less than.

To all those who have stood in the goddesses fire,
who have been burned, who have been mesmerized by its flames and desired to conquer it.

To all those who want to feel its ignition,
who believe that they can hold it.
And dance with it.

Much love to you this day.
Open yourselves to love,
as it is what makes you feel alive.
It births your soul into all it desires,
all it needs and can be.

And let yourself be seen.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

 

The Goddesses Dragon – My Tale of Surrender to the Masculine

He wants my surrender.
I can feel it at my greatest depths.

He wants me fully.
Open and inviting to his everything.
He wants my surrender,
and he is willing to work for it.
He is willing to take the journey into the depths of my being,
where he will uncover my hidden treasures,
which I fear may seem like dragons,
yet he assures me in his holding,
that he does not want to slay my dragons,
he only want to bask in their beauty,
he wants to sit with them in moments of stillness,
and he wants to just take them in.

He wants to see their beauty,
that beauty that only a deep understanding of love can handle,
that beauty that is so revealing of the soul.
Most are not strong enough within themselves to face this beauty,
this light,
this power,
the dragon.

Most fear being devoured by it.
What they begin in the courting process admiring from a afar,
they end with wanting to own and control.
Because it scares them.
It is wild,
it is fierce,
it is powerful beyond measure,
and desires to conquer the hearts of its admirers.

Few are able to hold themselves,
within the presence of this beast.

But, every now and then,
a gentleman comes about,
makes himself known,
and smiles in the presence of the magic he has found in caverns of the goddess.

And this gentleman,
this gentleman,
ignites the goddesses soul.
Sets it on fire.

And she desires to dance for him.
She desires to open herself for him,
and let him in.

Yet she is scared beyond measure,
her past tells of beautiful love saga’s,
intense love and loss.
She is fearful to become vulnerable with this man.
Because of the pain,
the pain that her heart will endure.
Yet she desires it all.
The love and depth,
are worth the pain.
Are worth the standing before her own dragon,
and smiling within its flames.

She know’s that this man,
is rare, and unique.
That he is one who can hold her fire.
At least for a time.
And she wants to surrender.
She craves the intimacy.
She craves the revealing.
She craves the integrity.
And the opening.

Physically.
Mentally.
Emotionally.

She leans in.
And she drops into his arms,
resting in his strength.
Resting in his admiration.
She let’s her emotions be seen.
She laughs,
she cries,
and she opens a bit more.

This cavern is deep.
And she realizes,
that her dragon is not to be feared.

She now understands what this gentleman has known,
the fire of her dragon will not harm when lifted in love,
it will only light the way to more caverns for them to explore.

Explore together.
The depths of their souls.

And so she looks at the gentleman,
with tears streaming from her eye’s,
and she say’s yes to the opening.

They lay together, enwrapped in the moment,
and they smile.

Blessed be to all of you who read this and venture into the depths of the goddesses caverns with hearts on fire,
and souls ignited.

Be wise in your journey and know that the dragon is there to protect the goddess from those that are unworthy,
and there to guild those who are,
into her surrender.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

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