He wants my surrender.
I can feel it at my greatest depths.
He wants me fully.
Open and inviting to his everything.
He wants my surrender,
and he is willing to work for it.
He is willing to take the journey into the depths of my being,
where he will uncover my hidden treasures,
which I fear may seem like dragons,
yet he assures me in his holding,
that he does not want to slay my dragons,
he only want to bask in their beauty,
he wants to sit with them in moments of stillness,
and he wants to just take them in.
He wants to see their beauty,
that beauty that only a deep understanding of love can handle,
that beauty that is so revealing of the soul.
Most are not strong enough within themselves to face this beauty,
Most fear being devoured by it.
What they begin in the courting process admiring from a afar,
they end with wanting to own and control.
Because it scares them.
It is wild,
it is fierce,
it is powerful beyond measure,
and desires to conquer the hearts of its admirers.
Few are able to hold themselves,
within the presence of this beast.
But, every now and then,
a gentleman comes about,
makes himself known,
and smiles in the presence of the magic he has found in caverns of the goddess.
And this gentleman,
ignites the goddesses soul.
Sets it on fire.
And she desires to dance for him.
She desires to open herself for him,
and let him in.
Yet she is scared beyond measure,
her past tells of beautiful love saga’s,
intense love and loss.
She is fearful to become vulnerable with this man.
Because of the pain,
the pain that her heart will endure.
Yet she desires it all.
The love and depth,
are worth the pain.
Are worth the standing before her own dragon,
and smiling within its flames.
She know’s that this man,
is rare, and unique.
That he is one who can hold her fire.
At least for a time.
And she wants to surrender.
She craves the intimacy.
She craves the revealing.
She craves the integrity.
And the opening.
She leans in.
And she drops into his arms,
resting in his strength.
Resting in his admiration.
She let’s her emotions be seen.
and she opens a bit more.
This cavern is deep.
And she realizes,
that her dragon is not to be feared.
She now understands what this gentleman has known,
the fire of her dragon will not harm when lifted in love,
it will only light the way to more caverns for them to explore.
The depths of their souls.
And so she looks at the gentleman,
with tears streaming from her eye’s,
and she say’s yes to the opening.
They lay together, enwrapped in the moment,
and they smile.
Blessed be to all of you who read this and venture into the depths of the goddesses caverns with hearts on fire,
and souls ignited.
Be wise in your journey and know that the dragon is there to protect the goddess from those that are unworthy,
and there to guild those who are,
into her surrender.
Stop Existing & Start Living
For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.
Average cost of a divorce: $15,000 to $30,000
Average child support payment for one child: $430
Average alimony support percentage of highest earning spouse: 30% of income for up to 50% of time of marriage
Saving your relationship and working through your shit: PRICELESS
Remember the old commercial?
Well I sure do.
And this topic is near and dear to me in recent times.
But more importantly,
It is a possible reality to many of my couples clients.
Or potential couples clients.
The sad truth is that quiet often people go looking for help.
They sit in my office,
Wrenching their hands together,
Butterflies in their stomach,
Wanting to be heard.
To be understood.
And to be given hope.
They look at their spouse,
And they hope that they too have a sincere desire to heal the wounds of years gone by.
They hope that their partner is feeling at ease and will be open to the possibilities of getting help.
Often, tears are shed in my office by one or both parties as they recognize the pain,
They see the situation of their marriage clearer,
And they feel the tingle of hope spreading its wings inside them.
There they sit.
They share intimacies within this safe container,
Baring their truths of bitterness, of loss of desire, of financial pains, of feeling left behind and under appreciated.
They share their sins.
From adultery to drug usage to porn and anger.
They share their longing.
Their longing to reconnect.
To love and be loved.
And so they walk away from me,
Feeling connection and understanding.
Feeling as if they can recover.
They feel HOPE.
It is inevitable my follow up email with all my recommendations and observations comes into their inbox.
It asks them for their,
Many stand up to the plate.
But many steer away in fear.
They lean on objections.
From price to time.
They say they need to wait.
They say they think they can do it on their own.
They say this
And they say that.
But none of it matters.
They CHOOSE to not commit
And thus they choose to remain in their suffering and in the harsh reality that separation most likely will knock soon at their door.
But they feel like they cannot change the outcome.
Because it just is.
So they settle into victim mode.
And they loose HOPE.
How much does it cost to sacrifice your HOPE?
How much is it worth to step into COMMITMENT ?
It is priceless.
Thats what it is.
On both sides it is PRICELESS.
The only question
I ask these souls who choose to say goodbye is,
Are you happy?
At the end of any decision.
You must ask yourself.
Are you happy?
Here you will learn your truth.
Here you will learn about your fear.
And if you made the right choice.
No one can answer this for any of us.
It is between us and soul.
And it is PRICELESS.
Stop Existing and Start Living
Now accepting 1+1 Couples Coaching Clients.
No matter where you are in this big world you can get the private coaching to recover the intimacy and connection you desire in your marriage.
Explore Passion Coaching for Couples today.
Are you effing kidding me?
How can you do that to your body?
To your psyche?
To your everything?
I don’t effing get it.
I get it because I use to do it too.
I did it so much that I grew comfortable with it.
It just became part of my norm.
And I did not see the bitterness and resentment that it engraved into my life,
into my relationship,
until it was too late.
I thought it was just how it was.
And that it was “okay.”
After all life is about compromise, right?
We cannot always have things our way,
we have to find a space that neither side gets what it wants and both give in to something that is doable to make the results the best they can be.
So, this is what I thought I was doing.
And I was.
And you are too!
But you want in on a little secret?
Not a secret, actually,
just a reality that you may not want t o hear because you may feel disgusting after you fully digest it.
In these times like I share here,
which happens to be all too many times in our lives.
In all areas of our life as I have discovered.
You are raping yourself.
I just said that.
And I will say it again.
So happy f-cking Monday morn my peep’s!!!!
You are raping yourself.
You most likely are doing it right now.
Or you soon will be.
Or you will in a few hours or by the end of today.
Your raping yourself.
You are are bending over,
spreading yourself open,
saying “sure, that’s okay….yeah…yeah…let’s do this or that.”
You are believing that you have to do that in order to exist
You have to do it in order to keep peace,
in order to enjoy some rewards that you don’t believe you will have unless you give of yourself in this fashion.
You believe that if you were to say no.
To say I am not in the mood.
I am not turned on to this or that.
It does not feel good to me.
That actually hurts me.
I don’t like that at all.
I never get anything from this.
some other statement of your lack of interest in it,
that you would loose something.
You are afraid that you would have life shut you down in some way.
You are afraid that if you stated your truth,
that you would not be received well,
and then that would hurt you more than just saying yes,
when you are a no.
So you say, ” Okay.. let’s do it! ”
And you figure, ” It’s just compromise. It’s just the way life is. You cannot have everything you want all the time. So what’s the harm is giving of yourself this time or the next when even though you really hate it, or are shut down to it?”
Whats the BIG effing deal?
Rape seems like a harsh term to use Kendal.
I am not raping myself!
I am just compromising.
I am just letting someone else use my body, my time, my energy, my money, my life for their pleasure. For their abundance building. for their goals and aspirations.
That is the way life works.
Have you not heard?
Sure I don’t feel great afterward.
My body feels yuck.
I feel a low grade depression.
I feel weaker,
less excited about things.
I have a tough time looking in the mirror.
Or making eye contact.
I crave all the wrong foods or I feel like not eating at all.
I am testy.
Can’t sleep well.
Weaken immune system.
Yeah so what.
That is just part of life.
It’s not rape.
Well, I am sorry to shed the light on this for you,
but as a woman who has experienced rape in the sexual nature a couple of times in my life,
and as a woman who has had all too much duty sex AKA self rape ( in my opinion),
and as a woman who has allowed herself to be raped emotionally, psychologically, financially, time wise and many other ways through out life here and there.
I will tell you with utter certainty.
YOU ARE RAPING YOURSELF!!!!!
And to make matters worse.
You think its normal.
That you have too.
Have a little love for yourself already.
You got no love?
How about empathy?
Where the f-ck is your give a shit for you?
Yet you claim you want a life worth living.
You claim you want to make changes.
You claim you want joy,
But you think by spreading your legs and allowing someone else to have their way, to pump pump eww goo in you and get theirs that you are going to somehow succeed at having the life that you want? ( scratching my head here.)
Are you effing kidding me?
You are crazy!
That is all I have to say.
I get it.
I REALLY do.
Because I have been you.
In all areas of my life.
But you know what the reality is?
At some point,
You have to close up your rape shop.
You have to start to honor yourself enough,
to say NO.
You have to get into integrity with the most important person in your life.
And you have to not just give it lip service, no you have to actually commit to it.
You want freedom based living?
You want a F-ck Yes Life?
You want to be in love with yourself and your life?
You want to be proud of yourself?
You want to actually succeed at having what you claim you want?
Well here is the gig.
You must stop raping yourself.
In all areas of your life.
It is time.
Stop Existing & Start Living
Join me for 5 Intensive Weeks in a LIVE Global Facebook Workshop Starting October 22nd, 2018. Where I show you how to Embrace Your Power and Claim Your Life. Learn how a single mom of seven developed the skills to go from fear and scarcity, making $17k a year to abundance and joy making a multi-six figure income a year.
I will be sharing mind shift strategies that I have adapted through the years to manifest the Freedom Based Life that I now live today.
Limited Workshop Spot’s due to the 1+1 Private Focus Sessions that come with this workshop.
Grab Your seat now for
Embrace Your Power – Claim Your Life
“5 Step’s to a Freedom Based Life”
Relationships break us open.
Relationships unfold us to a life that is deeper than we could ever know possible on our own.
Relationships can be freeing,
Or they can be crippling.
Relationships are our defining energy of how we penetrate our lives.
They define how we surrender to the greatness of our lives.
They define how we allow ourselves to receive and create blessings and/or suffering.
Everything we do in life,
We do through relationship.
This last year I have been in this awakening of just this that I share with you today.
I have been coming into the beautiful realization of my truth and how it has manifested and shown me all the guidance I could ever want for through my relationships with lovers, friends and family.
My realization (and perhaps you may feel some alignment too) is that I have been resisting my truth.
I have been hiding from my own uniqueness and power thus of it.
In January I lost what one might say was the love of a lifetime. My heart died that day and I have been looking for a path of resurrection for it so that I can open again to the blessings that a fierce penetrative love can bless one with.
In May I lost my second primary relationship in a shocking 2 hour event that I am sure I will never understand. This relationship taught me so much about my desires, about emotion and stability. It taught me about detachment and harshness and it showed me my weaknesses in my boundaries and lienliance around many things and I was shown just how blind one can be in a relationship as well as how we NEVER know anyone truly.
These two relationships alone have revealed to me a beauty and a reality of who I am and how I have been choosing to show up in life as well as how I am willing to receive from life or not.
I have come to a realization of my set points.
Of my programs around abundance, value, love, money and joy.
I have come into a point of awareness that each of these relationships were holding me back from my full potential.
The healing must still manifest in its own way.
But the truth is that I have been blessed without measure. I have been provided with the opportunity to create the legacy that I desire for my life.
If I tried to hold tight to the energies (the relationships) that were lower vibe than what I wanted for my life, then I would only set myself on a path of further suffering.
As a former love above says, ” A reason, a season or a lifetime.”
So true is this statement.
As every relationship offers one of these.
And we never know what it is until we reach its end.
And even then,
As past has taught me,
Some relationships serve all of the above.
And everyone of them reveals more of who we are.
Everything is a relationship.
If you are struggling then all I have to say is that there is hope. You can have it all. You really can.
I swear to you,
That if this effed up single mom of of seven from the wrong side of the tracks can find hope,
Can discover her truth,
And can manifest a life that is beyond what I believed.
Then you too can have your dreams manifest into reality.
Look at your relationships,
See their beauty no matter the pain they bestow,
And embrace who you are.
Embrace your truth.
Embrace your desire.
Embrace your power.
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living.
A yes to your pleasure.
I love a good orgasm.
I crave a good orgasm.
I need so desperately a good orgasm.
How about you?
Lately I have been challenged though with orgasm.
And I am noticing that it is increasingly becoming more and more difficult for me to drop down and open up to ORGASM.
I find myself with my lover,
attempting to open up,
attempting to receive,
attempting to lean more in to all that he is offering me.
I know that my pleasure increases his pleasure.
I know that it is not his responsibility to get me to orgasm.
The reality is that ONLY I can give myself an orgasm.
I do not say this as to say that only I can “rub one out.”
No I mean that only I can give myself an orgasm by allowing it to happen.
So why am I preventing myself from this pleasure?
Why am I limiting my experience?
An Issue with Worthiness.
An Issue with Trust.
An Issue with Self- Love and thus love in itself and even toward my partner.
Here is the reality of why one does not open to ORGASM.
Instead I find myself,
laying there closed off in frustration.
I find myself craving more,
but not asking for what I need or want in the moment.
I find myself not speaking about it in general.
I find myself a prisoner in my mind during sex.
Disconnected from my body,
disconnected from my sex.
Instead of spreading my whole being more open,
Instead of saying, “Hey, I need this touch… or this position.. or this time…this kiss.” I say nothing and go into analyzation of the mechanics of what is happening, of what is wrong with me, of a technique or I just find myself drifting off into some other place that is non sexy in my mind and getting lost there until a nerve is teased and brings me back to my body for a second.
Especially because my partner is being present, loving, supportive, taking his time and really applying himself to my pleasure.
I see all of his greatness.
I just cannot feel it.
And this reality has NOTHING to do with him,
and everything to do with me.
So here I sit after a ton of good sexing,
with female blue balls. ( Yes that is a thing, us ladies get blue balls just like men. And we get bitchy as hell from it.)
I sit here after a bunch of good sexing,
frustrated, throbbing, achy, moody, disappointed in myself, tired and in fear.
Fear of sharing my truth.
Fear of what is going on with me inside my heart and mind.
I know my body is fine, my heart and mind though are struggling to open back up to love and connection and feel overwhelmed from all the stresses of life.
Fear of what my lover may think or feel if I share my truth.
With all of that shared, I KNOW the path I must take.
And if you are challenged with finding your ORGASM as well,
if you are experiencing a moment like what I am,
where you are having good sex,
with a good partner,
and you are enjoying the sex,
you just are NOT GETTING THERE.
You just DO NOT FEEL the release.
But it is still good.
Then listen up!
Take it from someone who has been educating and coaching on SEX and ORGASM for the last decade and can be multi- orgasmic.
If you are feeling non-orgasmic and wonder will I ever get through this?
If you are questioning what is wrong with me?
You can get through it.
You can access your “O”
You can feel again.
The steps to pleasure are not about a better stroke.
Are not about deeper penetration.
Are not about more sex.
What you have to do is simple but not easy.
OPEN UP YOUR HEART.
GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD.
Stop focusing on the mechanics of sex.
Sex for us women is so very much more than mechanics.
We will NEVER access true orgasm if we are just focusing in on our genitals and the mechanics.
ORGASM is not about the “in and out”
It is about the CONNECTION.
First to self.
Then to partner.
It is a meditation.
It requires us to let go of our fears, our concerns,
our thoughts about everything else.
And JUST BECOME ONE
with our PUSSY.
As we open our hearts and soul in our sex,
we open our pussy’s ability to feel more,
to experience more.
This WILL REQUIRE our love of self,
and our understanding that we are WORTHY of pleasure and of LOVE.
We must support our ORGASM by asking for what we need.
By guiding in love our partners hands, mouths, cocks and attention.
We cannot just LAY THERE.
If you craving ORGASM the way that I am, then you have to COMMIT to CLAIMING IT.
You have to ASK for IT.
Therefore it is high time BABY,
that you speak up.
Show if you have too.
Try new things.
Stop beating yourself up for not having an ORGASM.
For feeling like a shitting partner, because you cannot achieve what you and your partner both want for you,
but instead OPEN to it.
IT IS TIME YOU LOVE YOURSELF.
KNOW YOU ARE WORTH IT.
WORTH IT ALL!
No one else can do this for you.
No one else can get you to open up.
And here is just one more reality ladies,
When you finally open to the “O” between your legs,
and it comes from your core, not the mechanics of sex.
You will be on the path to EMBRACING YOUR LIFE “O”
You will start to tap into ALL OF YOUR beautiful abundance.
You will STEP INTO YOUR POWER.
She awaits you.
She is you.
“The Goddess between my legs, makes mouths water.” – Rupi Kaur
May your rivers flow endlessly.
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living