#1 Strategy to Deepening Any Relationship.

He held me in his vulnerability.
His heart racing.
His hands with a soft tremble.
I could feel heat radiating from his chest as he pressed firmly but in love into me.
His breath softly crossing over my neck as his face found itself burried in my long hair.
 
It was his vulnerability.
And yet it was ours.
 
There we stood,
embraced in a deeply connective hug under the stary sky.
The crisp air rustling the leaves as crickets chirped.
 
My soul was taking it all in.
It was a precious moment.
A moment of depth,
of truly connecting,
of holding space and of witnessing.
 
Not many words were needed,
the energy told everything.
And it was the energy of truth.
It was the energy of revealing.
It was the energy of unconditional love and acceptance.
 
The wounds that merged our souls,
the sharing that brought on this moment,
it was all as it should be.
And there we were,
two individuals,
barely knowing each other,
yet KNOWING one another deeper than we were willing to share with most.
 
My heart found gratitude,
my mind was silent.
There was no fear in this moment.
There was no blame or guilt,
no shame.
It was just a moment of acceptance.
 
Of BEING.
 
And so it was.
 
This moment was a lifetime connective piece to this relationship.
And the best thing was,
we both felt it.
 
Yet so many relationships,
of all labels never expereince this and if they do,
things tend to get a little weird after such a moment in time.
We suffer from what is known as vulnerability hangover,
where we have risked allowing our softer side, or our insecurities, fears, or what we perceive as weaknesses to be seen and then we wake up and feel SHAME for the reveal of our depths.
 
And that is what true vulnerability is,
uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.
 
But if we desire like Berne Brown speaks of,
greater clarity in our purpose or deeper or meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.
 
And this is seen just in this little tale of mine.
This lovely soul allowed himself to be exposed.
He risked revealing his emotional state,
and he did it because his soul wanted to be witnessed, ‘to be truly seen and held.
 
He stepped out with courage and desire,
and allowed for his vulnerability to be the path of connection in this moment.
 
And because he did so,
he gave us both the gift of authentic relating.
Of being able to come together in our humanness and hold each others hearts.
 
He created the space to receive grace.
Grace for self.
Grace for and from another,
thus grace from God.
Who asks us to love unconditionally,
ourselves,
our neighbours,
and to step forward in certainty,
with hearts of children.
 
And children are deeply couragous in their vulnerabilty.
 
As children we inately understand that in order to grow,
to transform and to connect that we must allow ourselves to be seen,
with no shame as to how we are being percieved,
with no judgment for what we are wanting or not wanting,
for how we are feeling.
As children,
we just are.
And in that state of being we dare to state our truth in any given moment.
But as we grow into adults,
we loose touch with the value of being seen.
We instead replace it with the normalcy of fearing what others will think.
We run too and fro,
never feeling like we are enough,
and believing that running in the hustle is the way to achieve this elusive thing called happiness.
 
And so we hide.
We mask and we cover ourselves in shrouds of uncertainty.
Pretending that we are untouchable.
That we are strong.
That we do not need help.
That we have it all figured out.
And we shake our heads at those let themselves be seen.
We believe that eotional displays are a sign of weakness.
 
All the while craving,
hungering for thi svery connection.
Wanting for nothing mpre than to be understood.
 
Vulnerability.
Can it be?
The thing,
the thing that must be birthed in order for us to no longer be chasing happiness and fulfillment,
and instead,
JUST BE IT.
 
 
Yes my beautiful,
here is what you do not want to hear,
but your soul knows true.
 
Taking the steps in vulnerabilty,
and allowing yourself to be held,
is the leaning into the path that leads to your joy.
 
I ask you today,
where can you show a deeper piece of yourself,
and lift the mask that you wear?
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to learn how to access that breathtaking life where you have clarity and certainty in the steps that you are called toward?
 
Ready to level up your relationships, money and life?
Let’s chat about 1:1 coaching opportunities now.
Global coaching opportunities.

TO BE SOFT… What Does It Mean To Your Happiness?

TO BE SOFT IS TO BE POWERFUL. – Rupi Kaur
 
Last year I went out with my second oldest child, my daughter Rebekah to get tattoo’s. She had this beautiful quote that she was getting putting on the inside of her arm that her boyfriend had ended a love letter with. It was such lovely, powerful words of encouragement and I could easily understand why she desired to keep them for her lifetime.
 
I love ink. And getting inked is a THING.
If you are into ink, you get it.
If not, oh well, I am sorry.
 
SO I decided that I would get a tattoo as well, but I always want my tattoo’s to have meaning of some sort and I had not given much thought to this moment. There we were driving to the artist discussing what I should do. When Bek says mom,
“To be soft is to be powerful. – This is so you mom.”
 
I was bewildered, I do admit.
I felt like I sucked at being soft.
I felt like soft was scary.
I felt like soft was bad somehow, that I should be ashamed of it even.
I questioned what she meant by this.
And she explained,
“Mom you are always there for us. You always let us see you and you are always working on yourself. You make mistakes and you allow for our mistakes. You are the strongest person.”
 
What she was expressing to me was that I ALLOWED MYSELF TO FEEL LIFE.
 
The good.
The bad.
The painful.
The joy and orgasm.
The sweetness.
The bitterness.
The meh.
The void.
The fear.
The fullness.
 
I feel it all.
And I KNOW the BEAUTY of it, because I allow myself to experience it all.
 
And so, she was correct in her statement and much like her that day, I needed to keep with me the reminder of my power in my FEELS.
 
Through the course of this lifetime,
I have wanted so badly to run and hide from what I was feeling.
I have wanted to mask it,
cover it up and not allow it to be seen by self or others.
And when I did allow it to be seen or felt,
I was shamed of my humanness around my fears, my joy, my pain and void.
Something always seemed amiss in my feeling,
it was this voice in my head,
telling me that I should not be feeling this way.
It was this same voice telling me I was weak, pathetic and hopeless.
That it was this sort of crap that kept me disconnected from people.
That I was too much to handle.
I was broken.
 
 
And so I worked ever so hard to toughen up.
I focused on breathing in my emotions and “building a strong house” to hold them in.
In the belief that by not revealing them,
by holding them,
that I was being emotionally mature.
 
LMAO!!!!!
 
Looking back at this I feel silly.
Sweet in my desire to be mature with my emotions,
strong for the people in my life,
true.
But so wrong in truth,
this way of being,
of living was not LIVING.
It was hiding from life.
It was avoidance of who I was,
it was a shrinking of my heart center,
a closing to the one’s that I love.
It was a hardening or callousing of my ability to connect,
to be seen and to see another.
In this stifling of feeling,
I lost my ability to have intimacy with life, with others and with self.
I SHRUNK as a human.
 
And in this I lost.
I was the BIGGEST looser.
Because all I wanted was the intimacy,
the love,
the connection.
To be received and to hold space for another.
And what I gifted myself with in my “strength of holding my emotions so tight” was to shield LIFE.
 
The end result outside of loss of intimacy and ability to relate, connect and love, let alone be authentically compassionate or forgive self or others,
also led me to a shut down in my allowance to self to open and receive abundance.
 
My lesson in feeling,
was that in order to have my desires manifest in any fashion,
I needed to allow myself to “SOFTEN INTO THE FLOW OF FEELING LIFE.”
 
That my power came from this space,
You see in order for you to be able to KNOW YOUR PATH,
to FEEL what is right and good for YOU,
in order for you to be able to TRUST your judgement on any decision,
You must FEEL Your emotions, your physical reactions, your truth about it.
 
This means that if you are calloused to FEELING LIFE,
you will consistently make wrong choices for YOUR LIFE.
 
And this is not what living is about.
This is just existing.
 
And that is the WHY that you have been questioning.
WHY AM I NOT HAPPY?
Why does nothing make me happy?
 
Simple….
You are not FEELING LIFE.
 
Want to change this?
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Coaching Today and level up your life experience to one of FEELING.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
https://www.tantrictransformation.com/micro-consult/

WHY I DO SEX DAILY.

WHY I DO SEX DAILY….
 
I have sex almost daily.
It’s just my THING.
I do sex daily yes because I love sex,
but more so for what sex gives me.
And I am not referring to the mind blowing orgasms that only happen here and there.
 
Okay so it’s truth time folks,
yes ME,
the sex expert and coach that helps thousands of people have better and more sex DOES NOT have mind blowing, earth shaking orgasm daily.
Actually most days, its pretty meh…
The sex is just normal,
and even boring at times.
But I still do sex almost daily,
and some days if the opportunity presents itself two or three times.
 
Just a week ago I spent about 7 hours out of 24 having sex.
Now that was yummy.
But why was it yummy?
Why did I want to have 7 hours of sex?
or have it daily, especially if I am not having mind blowing sex or even an orgasm most of the time?
 
The simple truth is that SEX ignites my creative juices.
Sex allows me a medative state, no matter the outcome to work on embodying myself,
sex allows me practice time to get out of my head and FEEL myself at a deep level.
I get to practice letting go,
I get to practice vulnerability,
I get to practice surrender,
I get to see where I am challenged and through the rhythm of my sex,
the consistent allowance of letting myself feel and stepping away from the idea of cumming,
but just BEING instead,
I get to connect to my CORE and thus feel my partner at a deeper level.
 
I have discovered through the years,
that our SEX is linked to so many things.
Self-confidence,
self-love,
boundaries,
ability to receive and give,
thinking patterns,
fear,
DESIRE,
passion,
VITALITY,
a feeling of freedom,
a feeling of peace,
centeredness,
physical well-being,
mental well-being,
and expanded spiritual depth.
 
To just name a few.
Yet we are taught to shame our sex,
to hide from it,
to ignore it,
to STARVE IT.
We are taught that our sex is evil.
And that it should only be used to make babies, or relieve stress QUICKLY.
 
And this way of thinking about our sex,
has us shut down,
fearful,
and not having sex.
It has us feeling disconnected from life, ourselves and the people we love.
It has us feeling insecure and angry,
depressed and lost.
And it has us trying to achieve what we have a void in through any means possible.
It has us acting out and traumatizing ourselves and others.
 
Instead of loving ourselves,
being responsible,
compassionate,
mature people,
we are like caged, starving, beaten wild animals.
This is what our world has become when we DO SEX.
And it’s all because we have such a limited, repressed view and understanding of this beautiful gift from God.
 
Sex and finances are the top two reasons marriages break up.
Sex actually out weights money,
because when the sex is crap,
when the sex is disconnected and toxic,
when sex is just about the get off,
then you have a partner being used and abused.
You have trauma setting in and the relationship is TOXIC.
No amount of money can heal that.
That is all about embodiment.
That is all about connection.
 
And you can ONLY CONNECT to your partner if you know how to connect to yourself first.
 
THAT IS WHY I DO SEX DAILY.
 
The consistent practice of leaning more into ME.
 
How does your sex feel to you?
Connected and deep?
Expansive and full?
or shallow, empty and about the release?
 
Want to learn how you have beautiful sexing all the time and access these states of peace, joy and connection.
Enjoy intimacy no matter what is going on in your life?
Reach out to me for information on my 1:1 coaching available globally today.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

We Are Meant To Live In The Magnitude of Awe-ness…

Travel, its something I love.
And if you follow me then you already know this.
But you may not know why I adore travel so much.
 
I love travel because of the growth it gives me.
Travel expands my thinking,
my understanding of self,
of others,
of life.
 
Travel opens me up to knew ways of viewing the world.
My world and the world around me.
 
Travel is healing to the soul.
 
Last night we were laying out under the stars on the beach here in Riviera Maya,
little crabs crawling across the sand,
the waters sloshing up against the shore line,
and a sky so full of stars.
We laid there in silence for some time,
just witnessing the magistracy of the sky.
So vast.
So impressive.
Every now and then a shooting star would stream across,
and my inner child would make her wish.
 
There we lay with the breeze of the warm summer night against our bodies.
 
So small against the immense sky above,
and yet I felt powerful.
There I laid feeling the magnitude of the creator moving through me in that moment.
 
And I was in Awe.
 
That is why I love to travel.
 
This morning we were up and back to the beach,
snorkeling gear in hand and off to the small coves that lined the shore.
 
Out into the turquoise waters we swam,
following colorful fish of all sizes,
and then upon the reef line we floated,
just watching the wonders below.
Again, the magnitude of this space.
A whole world around us.
Immense, powerful and full of life.
As the waves crashed upon my back every so often,
as I swam across the reef,
watching the sea creatures,
the fish flock and flurry,
I felt so small,
so unimportant.
 
And yet I was deeply aware of the power I was holding inside myself.
I could again feel the magnitude of all of life,
of the creator move through me.
Wash around me,
and make itself known.
 
And I was in Awe.
 
That is why I love to travel.
 
No matter where I have traveled in our beautiful world,
I found a people to love.
I have found beauty in their smile’s,
in the meeting of another’s eye.
I have found compassion in the witnessing of life somewhere foreign.
I have found peace and joy in bonds that make us all human.
I have seen so many a beautiful people,
embrace me as I travel,
and I am in gratitude for them and for these experiences.
 
And I feel small,
unimportant,
I feel like how could I ever make any ripple worth anything.
And then the words of a stranger come upon me,
and I smile.
I feel the message of God.
The message that we are all human.
We are all family.
And just my witnessing and embracing of this,
is a ripple.
The connection experienced with this people,
with just this one soul,
it changes us.
It expands us.
And we grow.
 
I feel the love of the creator move through me in moments like this.
I feel the compassion,
the adoration and gratitude.
I feel the bonds of being human.
And I smile.
 
I am in Awe.
 
This is why I love travel.
 
In the arms of my lover I smile,
laughing and enjoying the moments.
Allowing the energy of life to move about us.
Yes, here too is a reason to love travel.
For all the magnitude of this world,
of the skies and seas,
for all the diversity of its people,
here too,
just between him and I is a world to be discovered.
And in moments such as these,
as we travel,
we reveal knew aspects of ourselves.
We drop our guards just a bit,
we allow a softening of our hearts,
and opening of the connection.
And here with no one else to interfere,
we explore.
 
We travel perhaps not to some strange land,
but still we explore.
The land that resides within each of us.
The land here that is revealed.
 
Laughter.
Connection.
Conversation.
Touching.
and
Experiencing this world.
 
And as our eye’s meet,
as a smile crosses each of our lips,
we too are forever changed because of this moment.
Because of this travel.
Expanded.
 
And I am in Awe.
 
So many people say no to travel.
They refuse to venture out into the world,
they keep themselves closed to the adventure known as life.
They keep them shut away from the people of this earth,
out of fear they remain hidden,
and in their fear of the adventure,
of the people,
they also show the fear in their hearts.
They choose to remain closed.
They choose to remain small.
Never feeling the true magnitude of this life.
The true bounty of this earth or the vastness of God.
 
This life was meant for the taking.
The taking of the adventure.
the communion of the people.
This life was meant for the Awe.
 
And here,
here is where you will discover just how powerful you really are,
but first you must want for it.
First you must crave the Awe.
The power.
It is there.
In your heart,
in your soul,
in the people of this earth.
 
Dare to travel and you will see.
You will meet the creator in every step of your journey.
And you will be in Awe.
 
As yourself,
“If not now, when?”
 
Life is too short to stall.
 
As Always,
“Stop Existing & Start Living”
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers
 
Expand your life,
expand your thinking.
Expand your heart.
 
As you open you grow.
And here is where you meet your power,
and your joy.
 
Take my hand and let’s go.
Explore 1:1 Coaching with me from anywhere in the world.
Message me for deet’s on how to level up your life adventure TODAY.

Why Do Some Men Come Back Around?

Sitting here eating breakfast and my phone goes off…
It’s a text message from a man I have known for over a decade now.
A man that makes my pussy throb at his freakin’ text no matter how bad my day is going or how disconnected I feel.
I can hear his voice right now as I sit here and type.
That low, sultry Matthew Mcconaughey voice of his.
That smile,
that sparkle in his smiling eye’s.
Yes just his words in this text bring back so many a feeling of the past.
His words ignite a strange hunger at my core.
And have me in a stir of wonder.
 
And yet…
 
Yet I know.
yet I have tasted of the offerings that he has tempted me with for the last decade.
And that YES that I have given to him so many a time in the past has only taught me to say NO.
 
So what is it about this man.
What is it about many men in my world,
throughout time and relationship that makes them come check in on me and consistently check to see if there is a door open for them to explore a second or third round of temptation.
Why do they find a need or desire to see if they can now capture what they so easily let go of back then?
 
Perhaps it is regret.
Perhaps they have grown up some and realized what was being offered back then,
the beauty of what could have been.
 
Over and over again I hear from the men of my past,
about their deep love for me,
their adoration,
and how they wish things had gone differently.
They ask for just a coffee date.
Just a glass of wine and simple conversation.
They want to rekindle the friendship.
the connection.
 
They want to know that I am okay and happy.
 
and yes, they are hopeful.
Hopeful that I am hungry.
Hopeful that I seeking.
That I am open to what possibilities are on the path as it merges but for this moment in time.
 
Again, and again I am at fault for exploring this merging path.
Because the reality is that the majority of men of my past are pretty amazing men. I adore and love them still and am in deep gratitude for the moments and experiences that we shared.
And I miss those moments sometimes.
I miss their uniqueness.
 
I am always hungry.
My heart desires for its rapture once again,
and so yes it is always seeking for that soul that will ignite it and open it up to that that it has experienced in the past.
I find myself also thinking about this running theme of my ex’s.
And how the one’s who truly captivated me and still hold a piece of me in some strange way many a year later ALWAYS choose to re-explore the waters of relationship with me.
 
Or at least let their love be expressed verbally here and there.
They want me to KNOW their heart.
 
And this is beautiful.
This is a beautiful side of the masculine.
Scary though.
Because each of these men wake up skeletons in the closet of my heart,
and make me sit at the brink of “What now?”
 
Testing each breath as we exchange a moment yet again.
And I lean in and learn.
 
But wonder.
 
I here in my head as I type this these words of a man that I love deeply and is one of these gentlemen of my past that touches base with me to share his heart every now and then.
 
I see him with his handsome smile, his rich brown eye’s looking at me and explaining to me that when a man goes that deep with a woman and he feels touched by her like that, that he will always touch base again and a again in hope that perhaps the timing is right now.
 
I hear the words of another man that holds my heart share with me that he now see’s his fault,
he wishes for an new opportunity,
but he know’s that my trust is broken,
what can he do to prove himself?
 
I feel the heart beat of my first love as he holds me firmly in a hug. I feel him not wanting to let go. As though it is that moment in our parting 25 years back. He looks at me with a glimmer in his Irish eye’s and smiles because he know’s it cannot ever be. But his love is felt, his desire as well.
 
So why?
 
What about a woman ignites a man to this level to pursue for years?
 
Ladies, what do you think about the men in your world that you dated years back and are still holding on? Still testing the waters of connecting a decade or more later?
 
Guys, why do you chase for a decade?
Why do you come back around every so often if you chose differently way back then.
 
What is it that makes a man want for a woman he did not embrace and hold dear when he had her?
 
Thoughts from this morning as I sit here receiving texts from past lovers, who had a chance, who had an opportunity to create something beautiful with me many a moon ago.
 
It’s a running theme in my relationship world.
How about you?
 
Love to hear your thoughts.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

Forced Consent is Not Authentic Consent.

You can’t touch this….
Touch.
Hands on attention.
Something that is so needed,
so human, so intimate and connective.
 
Yes touch is something beautiful.
Unless it is not wanted.
Unless it is given when it is not appropriate.
Unless it is out of one’s boundaries or it is forced upon someone.
 
And it is this final statement that I want to address today.
As a woman who has experienced her fair share of trauma,
and speak about the healing process,
the psychological issue around and how to best prevent further trauma in life,
It has come to my attention over the last week the power of touch, yet again.
 
The same touch that can show love can also trigger fear.
Our hands and fingers can open in a hug and give one with deep care and no desire to harm another,
these same hands and fingers can penetrate another person with fear and trigger old wounds as well as cause new ones with the same action of a hug.
 
How can that be?
How is it possible?
Does that mean that we should just not touch anyone?
Yet here we are a touch deprived society.
Hungry for touch and the fact that we are so deprived has us uncertain as to what is healthy and what is not,
because we are deprived and not taught proper respect and boundaries,
permissions and body language signs,
because we want what we want and tend to overlook another person’s feelings or obvious gestures of not wanting to be touched,
we push ourselves onto others with great disregard to what we may actually be triggering in them or re-anchoring from a past wound.
 
Touch can be healing,
but it can also be harming.
 
Outside of the harmful touch of physical abuse which is what you may think when you read the words of touch can be harmful,
it can still be harmful with a loving, caring, even playful touch.
 
I will bring to the attention what our society is being taught.
 
Recently in America we have dealt with the conversation of touch with our very president being captured stating:
 
“Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”
 
This is an extreme statement about touch.
About taking what you want with disregard to another human being. And I see the fall out of this statement in many relationship scenarios from parenting to lovers,
from friends to colleagues.
 
Every time we ask our child for a hug or a kiss and they say “no” and we respond with,
“Come on, mommy/daddy need’s a hug.”
” Give me hug and then you can go.”
“I will give you this if you give me a hug or a kiss.”
 
We are disrespecting our child’s space and answer.
We are teaching our child that it is okay to ignore a “no” and to even try and bribe, guilt or push further for what you want with total disrespect to another’s desire, boundary or need.
 
This then translates to adults who believe that it is okay to push for what they want with a spouse or partner.
 
It translates to adults who do not respect the space, time or feelings of another in any relationship situation.
 
It translates to adults who do not take responsibility for their actions, as they feel that they are doing what they are doing out of a “good” place or a “just or deserving” place, as though they have the right when in fact they do not,
and that no matter how good or right our actions may be,
if they are harming toward another’s boundaries or desires then we need to pause and respect what we are being told or what we are witnessing in energy,
body language coming from another person.
 
Touch.
It is so very powerful.
And our boundaries around it can ebb and flow within any relationship and moment by moment in our lives.
A touch that felt good yesterday may very well close us down to connection the next.
 
And the thing to remember about touch is that it extends past the physical.
 
Touch is about how we touch another person.
 
We can touch another person with our physical body,
we can touch them with our words,
we can touch them with the look from our eye’s,
the expression on our face.
We touch other’s all the time.
How you touch them is the question that I encourage you to review in your life today?
 
Are you honoring and respectful?
Do you listen to their body language as well as their words?
Can you hear their truth and accept it just as that,
without needing approval from them or needing a reason as to why they think, feel or need what they need?
 
Or are you operating from a place of self-centeredness?
A place of need and hunger?
 
When you are in relationship with anyone,
no matter the intimacy level or actual label on the relationship,
do you give…
do you touch…
do you speak…
do you act…
out of the place of unconditional respect and love or are you wanting something and wanting to feel a certain way,
with the belief that if this other person “supports” (gives) you what you are wanting by allowing you to act, speak, give, touch, etc… the way that you deem good in that moment,
that this is what “should” happen and it is “okay” because that is just the way that you want it to be?
 
We are all guilty of ignoring another and insisting that they feel or think a way that we want them too instead of how they may actually be feeling or thinking.
 
We are all guilty of wanting something from another at times.
We are all guilty of missing ques in body language or tones, even not hearing words fully and crossing over boundaries.
We are all guilty of being self-centered.
 
No one wants to feel rejected.
No one wants to feel like they have hurt someone that they care for.
 
The reality is that when in relationship,
we will hurt those we care for.
We will not always be present with them.
And we will have hidden expectations if nothing else that we are not aware of that may cause issues along the path.
 
But if we want to act out of love,
if we want to be emotionally mature,
and trustworthy,
if we want to expand and deepen a relationship,
then each of us MUST take responsibility for how we choose to touch those around us.
 
With our words.
With our physical bodies.
With our looks.
With our expectations.
And assumptions.
 
And we must learn to respect the “No” without question of why.
 
Because no one owes you an explanation of why they are feeling any way,
just like you do not owe anyone an explanation as to why you think or feel any particular way either.
 
But to push your will on another,
is a breaking of truth,
it is dishonoring to the relationship and to both parties in relationship,
and it shows the desperation of one’s need and lack of actual care for another.
Making it detrimental to the relationship.
 
Pay attention to what you are seeing,
to what you feel coming from another person,
not not what you want to feel or see.
 
Realize that your truth about any particular thing may not be the same as another’s and if you are interacting with another person you NEED their consent to involve them.
 
How are you toughing those in your life today?
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.

BURNING BRIDGES THAT DO NOT NEED BURNT IS A SIGN OF YOUR RESISTANCE TO RECEIVING ALL THAT YOU WANT

BURNING BRIDGES THAT DO NOT NEED BURNT IS A SIGN OF YOUR RESISTANCE TO RECEIVING ALL THAT YOU WANT
 
Here we go again!
Around and around,
the mood pool where you get mad and sad in some crazy eight pattern,
( hey, that is a real thing ya know – the crazy eight cycle).
 
But here we go again beautiful,
you are feeling insecure, irritated, anxiety ridden and abandoned,
you are feeling jealous, vengeful, angry and hurt.
And you have chosen that the way through your crazy eight is the same old pattern that you have always done,
its the same old system of crazy.
But once again you forget that you have visited these grounds so many times before.
 
You are lost beautiful,
and even though you feel it deep at your core,
the suffering is smothering to your life,
you refuse to take responsibility for things,
for YOU.
 
And here we go,
your anger pushes everyone away.
Your fear of loosing has you painting a mirage of fear and pain.
And you light the match.
 
It’s a match that you have lit before,
and so far when you come back to self you discover that the fire that you tried to set,
the scorching of the land that you wanted gone,
is still there,
and when you come back around and breathe,
you are grateful that nothing burned down.
 
But here is the thing beautiful,
you can only lite that match so many times,
You can only throw it down on this bridge and watch the smoke rise,
feel the heat,
and take pride in the false control that you are exhibiting.
Because baby,
you cannot control the fire that you have started.
And every match from the past,
has all the onlookers shook in their trust.
 
They see you darling.
They see your fear.
They see that you desire to control.
They see as does your SOUL,
that you are under some spell.
 
That spell has you believing that you will loose and if you are to loose and be abandoned,
be stepped over in this life and forgotten then damn it,
you will control how you go out.
And drop the match you do,
watch the fire as they burn away your connections.
 
But somewhere down this path beautiful,
when you awaken from this slumber of your ego,
of your illusion,
you will see that no one is casting you aside.
That was ALL YOU…
believing your fear.
 
Instead what you were fearing was not at all the abandonment,
what you were fearing was the connection,
the growth,
the receiving.
And what you missed to realize is that you were on the cusp of something amazing.
The birthing of a new phase in your life.
You were leveling up!
You were elevating to a new you.
 
And it was uncomfortable.
It was a scary and strange feeling.
 
And THAT…
THAT is what activated this fire.
Your fear of success.
 
And so beautiful,
you drop that match.
You drop it and you run,
claiming that you are being attacked,
claiming that you are a victim to this life,
to those who cross your path.
Never recognizing that NOW you have started a raging fire.
And lost the trust,
lost the support,
lost the connection.
And in order for you to have any hope of regaining any part of what you scorched in the flames of your fear,
you will have to work 10x harder.
None will trust who have seen.
None will trust who you have poured your rage out on.
But beautiful,
the answer is always the same.
The answer is to recognize.
To see yourself.
To love yourself.
And to do your healing.
 
“If you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you” – Author Unknown
 
And this beautiful,
THIS is where your WORK BEGINS.
 
To all of us works in progress out there,
may these words sound truth to your core and bring to you awareness of the responsibility we each have on our lives and the impact that our suffering and fear of moving forward can have on those in our lives.
 
May you pause before you throw the next match.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.
 
Photography Credit to Photographyinwonderland.

Stop Loosing Yourself In The Goodbye Beautiful.

Doesn’t F-cking Matter!
People say goodbye all the time, in so many ways.
People turn away from you,
some you feel,
some you don’t notice.

But at the end of the day,
It doesn’t f-cking matter either way.

They came into your life for a reason.
This you can be sure

How long someone hangs with you baby,
Well that is upto your spiritual contract with them.
What do I mean by that?

What kind of crazy new age concept is a spiritual contract anyway?

In this instance I am referring to the lessons you gain from the relationship. And EVERY relationship teaches us something.

Its important to realize that we are in relationship WITH EVERYTHING and EVERYONE in our lives too.
So get right with that RIGHT NOW gorgeous.

Those short meetups, hook ups, chatting and getting no where with people that pop through your life and wonder WTF was that about?
Was there to present some lesson or deeper understanding into your life,
Into who you are,
And how you are VIBING.

And when they leave.
You can say it doesn’t matter anyway.
And it doesn’t!

As long as you got from them what you were meant to.

Were you present enough in that relationship,
No matter how short lived it was or not,
No matter the drama,
The trauma,
The heartbreak.

Did you get your lesson beautiful?
Did you?

Cuz if you chose to get caught up in the ego of what happened,
and you missed the lesson,
Then baby,
You are going to have to rinse and repeat.

And that’s why you run into the same people over and over again just with a different face,
Different story.

And when you get caught up in the ego of the loss,
You loose something much more significant and valuable then that relationship.
You loose a piece of you.
When you sit a stare at the people who are unliking or unfollowing you on social media,
When you pay more attention to who is not paying attention to you,
When you wait for the lack of response from that person you went out on a date with,
Or hooked up with,
When you get caught up in the certainly that so and so will apologize or come back,
When you wait….

You loose yourself.
And at the end of your days beautiful,
It doesn’t f-cking matter anyway.

Their goodbye.
Thier shut down.
Thier blindness.
Thier disconnect.

None of it matters.
And you deserve so much better.
But here is the thing,
YOU have to allow yourself to have better.
YOU have to stop making yourself available for that shiz.
YOU have to stop resisting your beauty,
Your greatness,
Your value.
And you have to get THAT lesson.

Because baby,
The best is yet to come.

It is!
You just have to change what your looking for.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.

“YOU DISGUST ME!”- WHY THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW MY GREATNESS!

 
So effing frustrated with our victim minded world that we have created!
 
Many of today’s humans could not make it in the world just 30 years ago.
 
We have created a society that is weak and scared of each other.
We have created a people that refuses to take responsibility for their thoughts, feelings or actions.
We have created a society that believes that shame is how you heal the world, how you make things right and that it is their DUTY to do just such.
 
We have created a world where confrontation is a bad thing that should be avoided at all cost and any one who stands up and speaks their truth that may not align 100% to another’s should brace themselves for the impact of how bad they are for stating it or setting a boundary.
 
Didn’t they understand their truth, their ideas, their opinions, their work, their art, their education, their pictures were offensive and shameful and not okay to have in this world?
 
Geeze what is wrong with them for sharing any of their stuff?
They should take into account what someone else that they don’t know might be feeling or how looking at whatever it is might make that other person think, because don’t you know YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE OF YOUR THOUGHTS OR FEELING everyone else is responsible for them, not you.
 
And because you posted it on social media – then you FORCED them to look.
 
This particular man friended me awhile back, ( see image with post)
he follows other sex and relationship coaches, practitioners and tantra educators that speak of openness, finding your orgasm and living in a sex positive world, yet he has decided to report some of my pictures because he claims that they are offensive and nasty…😱
 
Acting as though I have explicit sex pictures on my facebook for all too see…🤣🤣🤣
 
The reason I have chosen to share this with every one is simple,
this kind of attitude is becoming more of a norm.
 
The other day a man went off on my wall here under a musing I did on boundaries and how important it is to have healthy one’s in all areas of our lives, he decided that I was a tantric prostitute who was manipulating men by wearing a long white vintage dress into giving me their money… he insisted that I was being nasty as well in my flaunting of myself as he called it.
 
This sort of attitude that I see rising up more and more is sad.
It is an attitude of fear and separation with zero personal responsibility for our internal worlds.
 
There is so much pain in our world.
SO much pain in the people’s hearts.
And we are being blinded by it.
It forms in anger, disgust, rage, blame and shame toward others.
And it is because somewhere along the line we stopped teaching personal responsibility.
We started making the least mature people in the world the boss of everyone.
 
Competition these days is evil.
You cannot have a winner and a looser because it is hurtful to someone’s feelings.
You cannot have a debate and agree to disagree, because it may hurt someones feelings.
You cannot have certain beliefs, ideas, or experiences and talk about them because someone that may be passing by may hear and be upset by the sharing between two friends.
You are damned if you look, talk, believe or act this way or that way and you are damned if you don’t as well.
 
The ONLY THING that matters is that YOU make sure NOT TO OFFEND any other human being on this planet with your disgusting existence.
 
That is unless you are among the emotionally immature who feel it is socially acceptable to mock, blame, shame and kick others from behind their computer and phone screens about sharing what they are not comfortable with. That is JUST FINE – NO HARM, NO FOUL there.🤔
 
And yet,
we want to watch other’s who are living out loud and we can get caught up in their saga’s, drama’s and ways of living and expressing.
We flock to things that are not average.
We crave connection more then every.
We feel so isolated and misunderstood,
road rage and depression is normal,
everyone is on some prescription drug trying to mask their pain and disconnect.
 
Those who shame and blame the most hold the biggest subscriptions to porn hub and make the most aggressive private messages. On one side they condemn and on the other they explicitly expect.
 
And what does any of this truly mean at the end of the day?
 
It means that our world has progressed no further then the dark ages on this subject.
 
It means that if this were 2000+ years ago the one’s throwing the stones to kill the prostitute are the same one’s who were bedding her in the stable just 15 minutes prior.
 
It means that we still as a mass society value our suffering more then our worth.
 
It means that for those of us who choose to walk on the road less traveled and take the heat,
 
Those of us who are the 1% who will not cower to this crazy victim-hood mentality of settling for less than what we are worth in this life,
who believe in ourselves and whom want to be the light.
 
WE HOLD THE OPPORTUNITY TO GREATNESS.
 
The sheeple remain blind by fear mongering and separation.
 
But YOU are not a sheeple…. ( well at least I pray that if you follow me that you are not a sheeple and if you are well then please take this post as my personal invite for you to uninvite yourself out of my online community and tribe).
 
I BELIEVE IN YOU!
 
I choose to focus on WORTHINESS and that God does not create unworthy things.
 
I want you to know that if you are walking on this road less traveled with me that you are and EAGLE.
 
And you are not walking.
You are flying BABY!
You have wings.
And you have GREATNESS inside of you.
 
Never let those who are blinded by their own darkness cast your light out.
 
And this world,
this world is what you make of it.
Is what you choose to focus on,
so choose to not fear this blind victim-hood mentality of the weak minded and disconnected,
 
Instead,
Live Out Loud, Unapologetic and FREE!
 
💃💃💃 And don’t let my white vintage dress manipulate you too much…lol 🤣🤣🤣
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
 
 

The Power of the Sensual Feminine in Her Wild Woman State.

To all the ladies in the house….
To all you mama’s,
you grandmama’s,
you sexy, confident queen’s.
 
Today I share from my feminine sensual heart to you directly.
Today I speak to that turned on,
ignited,
passionate woman who know’s who she is at her core and who know’s her worthiness to receive the riches of this life she is living.
 
Yes YOU Beautiful!
 
Woman to woman,
lets get real.
Let’s talk about the embracing of our sensual feminine and how beautifully powerful this is,
how scary as f-ck it can be,
and some about the shaming and misinterpretations of what it all means and how it is perceived.
 
Many a moon ago, I was reading the book Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. If you are unfamiliar with this book it is stories and myths of the wild woman archetype, I was in my early twenties, living in Seattle with my husband then. I was in the middle of my second pregnancy. I was feeling trapped, fatigued, lost in myself. I would look in the mirror at my ever changing body and hate what I saw but at the same time appreciate the power of my womb. I loved being a mother, but disliked the then assumed fact that I had lost my sexiness. I had lost my feminine sensuousness and appeal.
 
No matter how much my husband tried to affirm my beauty,
his desire or anything else,
I could not hear him because what the world showed me and I had been taught from my own mother was that motherhood was far from sexy and being a mother meant that you had to put away your desire of anything such. Reserve it for a random few times a month at best, in the dark, and without too much noise because the children must not know of pleasure or intimacy or their mother’s desire to be ignited.
 
This hiding from who I was at my core,
destroyed my self-esteem. It captured my soul and prevented me from speaking my truth in any area of my life and I felt shame anytime I received a compliment or a flirty smile or look from a man. I could not even play sensually with my spouse without feeling guilt over accidentally being seen.
 
What would people think?
I must be being a bad mother example if I let this aspect of myself out.
 
So here I was with this wild woman resting within me,
wanting to be revealed but fearing the loss of everything that felt suffocating but strangely comfortable and safe, should I let her dance the way she wanted.
 
At my soul core I KNEW that if I were to truly be who I was unapologetically that the world would not support. That the feminine itself would want to burn me at the stake and the masculine would want to try and domesticate with control.
 
I knew that if I revealed my sensual,
that if I allowed my voice to sing,
my feet to dance,
my skirts to twirl and my pleasure to be seen that the radiance would call in the darkest of armies to slash at it and cast stones to quiet its truth. Yet, this wild woman within, she was so hungry, she was fierce in her desire to be unmasked, unchained.
 
And as the years passed, I would experiment with the loosening of her leash.
 
To my dismay,
there I was a decade later,
now with five children I was raising,
living in Dallas,
coming out of a two+ year deep depression and total give up of life and power,
looking at my life and seeing this wild woman at the end of her rope,
still fierce and full of vitality,
she was straining in her fight for not her life but MINE.
She was committed to not let me go any longer in my suffering,
and she broke free of her chains.
 
As the chains dropped to the earth, she slowly regained her balance and at first treaded with caution the waters of the life that I had created in fear of being seen and heard. Focused and determined though was she to breathe life back into my sails, and teach me of this radiance that I was worthy of.
 
Unleashed she opened me to the bliss of joy,
the power of laughter and authentic connection.
She unwound the ropes that held me hostage of living in integrity, the misguided ideas of always aiming for perfection and the pleasing of everyone else.
 
The wild woman brought to me the mirror of self-compassion and as I viewed it and stepped into all the places that I had chosen to abandon her and myself, I was brought into the dance of forgiveness. With each step of deep healing work I found myself learning myself,
perhaps for the very first time,
but a learning that it was never expected of me to be superhuman. It was never expected of me to hide my light,
my voice, my heart from this world and most especially from my children or self.
 
As I moved further into the embrace of the wild woman,
I discovered that her rage that she could move passionately into was not a rage of evil to fear but it was her wanting to purify the untruth that had been dumped on me at youth and supported by my belief in it.
 
Her pain that she expressed in my darkest hours of not listening, was not evil or lost, it was pain that was begging for the embrace of love. Not a love that could be given from anyone other than self.
 
With each step on this new journey of the wild woman,
I discovered that this archetype was there to teach me not to fear my sensual feminine but to embrace it as the life giving, creative energy that it was intended to be.
 
The rapes and abuse that was once perceived to be caused by the revealing of the sensual feminine was not that at all, but instead the allowance of my shame and guilt that attempted to make this energy docile and weak. Because it was feared by my veil to my truth and perceived dangerous.
 
Another decade has be lived and two more babies born since this unchaining has occurred and with in many more lessons of self- expansion has happened. Some may view some of these lessons as traumatic and even myself in the moments of experience would agree,
some moments were breathtaking as I was blessed to bask in the presence of the divine you could say.
 
Moments of allowing the wild woman to embrace me during deep expanding sex, where my heart exploded and the smell of roses would waft up from the moments of soul union and intimacy.
 
Blessed was I as I let her take the lead a bit further in my life.
Blessed because I learned that love although sometimes a pain that can not be touched by any other, is still the blessing that God wants us to know we are worthy of.
 
Blessed because she lead me with this fierce love to a deeper level of self knowing and an encouragement to open up to the sensual energy of play.
 
Blessed because she removed more veils in her dance,
allowing me to see clearer with each passing year,
that the wild woman that I once feared was the a warrior angel who always believed in my worthiness and heart.
 
Her leading steps,
her powerful emotion,
her dedication to my reveal,
was the breath that God and spirit had sent to me,
to claim my truth as the sensual feminine.
Though some still perceive it as dangerous.
And some view it with disgust as they call out in their poisonous toned words of shame, anger and fear of the unknown.
 
The thing that I have learned from her that I cherish the most,
is that all the bile that others may throw comes not from who I am or what they perceive me to be but is instead is the venom that they poison themselves with because they fear WHOM THEY COULD BE.
 
The disgust that one may cast toward another is only a mirror reflection of how they feel about themselves.
 
 
And so beautiful mama,
grandmama and mama in waiting.
No matter where you are in this dance called life,
know that you too are born to be wild,
born to be sensual,
to be wise and strong,
to be love,
and to be seen and heard.
 
That face,
that soul and that voice.
Has a message for this world.
But the message that the world has been blessed to give to you is that God wants you to CLAIM WHO YOU ARE.
 
Never hide or lower your eye’s to those who speak tongues of evil no mater how pretty their faith may appear, or their words sound.
 
You beautiful mama are a queen.
You hold within you the seeds of the universe,
the energy of creation,
the power of life.
 
May you take today’s message and feel your strength,
not in your shield of fear,
but in that crown that is upon your head and power of your sensual feminine.
 
Dance Beautiful Wild Woman.
Dance Beautiful Mama.
Dance and let your Joy Be Seen.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living.
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
 
We start in a little over a week!
Will you be embracing your Unstoppable Power this summer?
 
Join myself and tribe of beautiful queens as we pick up our crowns and make it our time to fly.
 
Section One 4 weeks: Owning Your Power
No More Good Girl Holdbacks!
Let Go, Let Go, Allow!
Letting Go of Perfectionism, Activating Authenticity
Desire is my GPS.
 
Section Two 4 week: Lifestyle Design
No More Dry P*ssy Face.
Increased Pleasure Threshold
Comfort to Miracles
Manifesting with Ease & Grace
 
Section Three 4 weeks: Money, Sex & Men
Knowing Your Abundance Key’s
Saying Yes to Your Orgasm ( In life and the bedroom)
Men Are Just Desserts
Manifesting Your Unstoppable Power
 
Grab you spot Today!
Early Bird Saving Still Apply.
Six 1:1 sessions with me plus 12 weeks of unstoppable power activation.