I love a good orgasm.
I crave a good orgasm.
I need so desperately a good orgasm.
How about you?
Lately I have been challenged though with orgasm.
And I am noticing that it is increasingly becoming more and more difficult for me to drop down and open up to ORGASM.
I find myself with my lover,
attempting to open up,
attempting to receive,
attempting to lean more in to all that he is offering me.
I know that my pleasure increases his pleasure.
I know that it is not his responsibility to get me to orgasm.
The reality is that ONLY I can give myself an orgasm.
I do not say this as to say that only I can “rub one out.”
No I mean that only I can give myself an orgasm by allowing it to happen.
So why am I preventing myself from this pleasure?
Why am I limiting my experience?
An Issue with Worthiness.
An Issue with Trust.
An Issue with Self- Love and thus love in itself and even toward my partner.
Here is the reality of why one does not open to ORGASM.
Instead I find myself,
laying there closed off in frustration.
I find myself craving more,
but not asking for what I need or want in the moment.
I find myself not speaking about it in general.
I find myself a prisoner in my mind during sex.
Disconnected from my body,
disconnected from my sex.
Instead of spreading my whole being more open,
Instead of saying, “Hey, I need this touch… or this position.. or this time…this kiss.” I say nothing and go into analyzation of the mechanics of what is happening, of what is wrong with me, of a technique or I just find myself drifting off into some other place that is non sexy in my mind and getting lost there until a nerve is teased and brings me back to my body for a second.
Especially because my partner is being present, loving, supportive, taking his time and really applying himself to my pleasure.
I see all of his greatness.
I just cannot feel it.
And this reality has NOTHING to do with him,
and everything to do with me.
So here I sit after a ton of good sexing,
with female blue balls. ( Yes that is a thing, us ladies get blue balls just like men. And we get bitchy as hell from it.)
I sit here after a bunch of good sexing,
frustrated, throbbing, achy, moody, disappointed in myself, tired and in fear.
Fear of sharing my truth.
Fear of what is going on with me inside my heart and mind.
I know my body is fine, my heart and mind though are struggling to open back up to love and connection and feel overwhelmed from all the stresses of life.
Fear of what my lover may think or feel if I share my truth.
With all of that shared, I KNOW the path I must take.
And if you are challenged with finding your ORGASM as well,
if you are experiencing a moment like what I am,
where you are having good sex,
with a good partner,
and you are enjoying the sex,
you just are NOT GETTING THERE.
You just DO NOT FEEL the release.
But it is still good.
Then listen up!
Take it from someone who has been educating and coaching on SEX and ORGASM for the last decade and can be multi- orgasmic.
If you are feeling non-orgasmic and wonder will I ever get through this?
If you are questioning what is wrong with me?
You can get through it.
You can access your “O”
You can feel again.
The steps to pleasure are not about a better stroke.
Are not about deeper penetration.
Are not about more sex.
What you have to do is simple but not easy.
OPEN UP YOUR HEART.
GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD.
Stop focusing on the mechanics of sex.
Sex for us women is so very much more than mechanics.
We will NEVER access true orgasm if we are just focusing in on our genitals and the mechanics.
ORGASM is not about the “in and out”
It is about the CONNECTION.
First to self.
Then to partner.
It is a meditation.
It requires us to let go of our fears, our concerns,
our thoughts about everything else.
And JUST BECOME ONE
with our PUSSY.
As we open our hearts and soul in our sex,
we open our pussy’s ability to feel more,
to experience more.
This WILL REQUIRE our love of self,
and our understanding that we are WORTHY of pleasure and of LOVE.
We must support our ORGASM by asking for what we need.
By guiding in love our partners hands, mouths, cocks and attention.
We cannot just LAY THERE.
If you craving ORGASM the way that I am, then you have to COMMIT to CLAIMING IT.
You have to ASK for IT.
Therefore it is high time BABY,
that you speak up.
Show if you have too.
Try new things.
Stop beating yourself up for not having an ORGASM.
For feeling like a shitting partner, because you cannot achieve what you and your partner both want for you,
but instead OPEN to it.
IT IS TIME YOU LOVE YOURSELF.
KNOW YOU ARE WORTH IT.
WORTH IT ALL!
No one else can do this for you.
No one else can get you to open up.
And here is just one more reality ladies,
When you finally open to the “O” between your legs,
and it comes from your core, not the mechanics of sex.
You will be on the path to EMBRACING YOUR LIFE “O”
You will start to tap into ALL OF YOUR beautiful abundance.
You will STEP INTO YOUR POWER.
She awaits you.
She is you.
“The Goddess between my legs, makes mouths water.” – Rupi Kaur
May your rivers flow endlessly.
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Have you ever noticed how feakin’ wrong you can be on things?
Have you ever just stopped and questioned why you are so persistent, so dead set on making sure that things go the way you believe they are already even in the face of reality that it is not?
Life is really funny, isn’t it?
We get involved with relationship,
all sorts of relationship and then sh*t happens and we assume we know what the other person is thinking or feeling. When in fact we don’t have an effing clue.
What we are listening to, is nothing more than the babble in our heads.
This babble stems from our own insecurities and fears, not from TRUTH.
This babble is our ego’s ignited and trying to dictate to us all that we really don’t want, but are likely to lean more into because we believe what is false.
I have done my fair share of assuming for sure.
I have been on the receiving end of assumptions as well.
Neither side is good.
Recently I was part of the babbling game of assumptions and it lead me to having to make a post on facebook to “try” and clear some things up. However the issue with assumptions is that the one’s that are having the assumptions made on them go into the defense ( much like I have had to do) and this in the short run, prevents further clear communication as we are grasping for air to be seen, heard and witnessed in truth, all the while the assumptions are dumping them selves out and messing up the truth.
Making it hard if not impossible on the front side to see anything for what it is UNLESS one REALLY wants the truth and investigates it.
Which often NEVER happens.
Because we HUMAN.
And we humans love a good drama story.
The truth often is not as dramatic, exciting or full of gossip and luster as the assumptions.
Assumptions are like the telephone game we use to play as children.
You know the one.
I whisper something in your ear, you whisper what you heard in someone else’s and it goes around the circle as such until the last person speaks what they were told and the original person gets to say, “yes that is what I said, or no here is what I actually said.”
This is ASSUMPTIONS.
Assumptions can destroy people if they let them.
Assumptions are the basis of rumors and gossip.
Assumptions alter our thinking and beliefs about situations, people and even ourselves.
When we buy into an assumption, we allow the darkness of an untruth half baked lie to plant it’s seed in us and all our actions, thoughts and feelings moving forward are based ( no matter how hard we try) on the foundation of an assumption.
So let me get REAL with you guys so you can see the potential damage of an assumption.
TRUTH BOMB coming your way.
Here is what I shared on facebook to help clear up the assumptions that have been floating around my world lately.
See if you can guess what the assumptions were that caused my need to share this. Feel free to post your thoughts below. 🙂
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!! It has come to my attention that there are many misunderstanding floating around in recent and over the last year or so. I am taking this moment to share the truth since these rumors are making it back to me from multiple sources.
1) I am NOT a prostitute, whore, tantric masseuse or bodyworker.
2) I do NOT sleep with my clients. I do NOT sleep with other women’s men either.
3) I AM a life coach that focuses in on sexuality issues such as shame, guilt, orgasm issues, and health issues. I primarily focus in on relationship issues and sex is a major component to these.
4) I DO teach sexuality and relationship workshops and classes. They are NOT orgies, they are classes.
5) I DO coaching in the same fashion that other life coaches do (i.e. talk therapy base)
6) Most of my work these days is done through phone coaching and online courses.
7) I have been in an open relationship with my previous partner for almost 7 years. That was my first open relationship ever. We both had other lovers and knew about them. This was public knowledge for anyone close to us.
8) My focus in life is as follows God, Family, Healing, Work
Working on forgiveness around MANY things.
This song sums it up well.Blessings to all of you caught in the middle.
Stop Existing & Start Living
Tears are on the cusp of escaping my eye’s today.
I feel this heaviness on my chest,
my heart feels constricted and tight, like it is being held in a metal clasp with daggers penetrating it.
I want to cry.
I want to be washed clean of this pain.
My mind keeps running through all the memories,
all the experiences. Those seemingly precious moments where intimacies were shared. Where I felt like I was being held in a new place of truth and love.
Those moments where I found myself exploring adventures and concepts that I never would have thought up on my own.
I find myself in gratitude and disgust.
I find myself in fear and disbelief.
How is it possible that two people can come together,
experience such beauty, and at the end of the cycle wish to destroy?
How can love and friendship turn to hatred and rage?
How can you one moment proclaim that you love someone more than you have ever loved before and then moments later turn around and speak disgust about them behind their backs.
creating false realities and condemning,
all the while pretending that you want to be with them?
This is my morning of tears.
This is my morning of reality as I uncover the truth of all that I thought that was,
that NEVER was.
The issue with these events is not the break up.
The issue is not even the lies and pain that they cause.
The issues is not the physical damage that we may take on from it or the new reality that we are thrown into at the awareness that the love was all fake.
No the issue is TRUST.
And the trust breech that we face and fear even more when we come face to face with things is OUR OWN.
How could we not see it?
How could we be so blind?
If we could not pick up on this then how will we protect ourselves from it in the future?
The writing is always on the walls. And if I am horribly honest with myself then even I have to admit that in my case, I KNEW.
I knew the sort of man he was.
I new his need to control.
I knew his closed down heart.
I new his disrespect for emotions.
I knew his hatred toward women.
I knew his insecurities as a man.
But I believed that I could love him through it.
I believed that he just had never been given the opportunity to heal these things before and that I was STRONG enough, OPEN enough and PATIENT enough.
All of these things only made him feel weaker.
All of these things only back fired on me and made him hate me more, destroy me more.
And so the rumors fly.
And so he attempts to crush what he hates in all the ways his ego directs. Standing firm in his right to make a point, be right, to control the situation, he alpha dogs yet again.
remaining true to his character.
True to his past.
True to all that he believes of himself.
I remain in LOVE.
And I dig a little deeper into my pain.
And yet deeper into my fear.
And even deeper into my wound.
This wound that keeps being carved open further as the days go by and the lies make themselves known.
At the bottom of it all still remains my TRUST.
Do I allow this moment…
this lost soul…
to destroy the beauty of my FAITH in God?
Do I CHOOSE to allow it to take me further into a DEEPER TRUST?
A fuller FAITH.
It is always our choice what we do with the drama and trauma of our lives.
Many of us choose to allow it to harbor us from the joy and bliss that is on the other side.
Many of us choose to allow it to mask our hearts and souls.
Many of us choose to pretend it never happened even.
Hoping that if we just ignore it will somehow magically go away.
This never works.
It only turns us into what we are fearful of.
It turns us into those that create this sort of shit.
Life is about owning your own crap but KNOWING what is ours and what is not.
Every event in our life is an OPPORTUNITY to get closer to God or to turn away from God.
It is in our CHOOSING that we decide our futures.
It is our CHOOSING that we manifest our curses or our blessings.
This is SOUL ALIGNMENT.
This is where you decide what you want to call into the next chapter of your life.
Falling into the arms of HATRED, ANGER, EGO and CONTROL will always only lead you one place….
A land of self made misery.
One’s own inner hell where no one can help you escape but yourself.
Ask yourself this:
“Am I happy with whom I am TODAY?”
Now look into your eye’s in the mirror and ask:
” Is this true?”
Wait for the response from your soul.
That soul that is quiet and meek, but strong and truthful.
Here is your path.
Stop Existing & Start Living
Have you ever had one of the moments where you feel like you just KNOW what is going to happen before it does?
One of those moments where you could swear you were psychic even?
Where for whatever reason, God blessed you with a KNOWING?
I get these often in life.
The more alignment I get with my soul,
the more they happen too.
I should be grateful for them,
and often I am.
However the pain that comes from some of them is never much fun.
In some crazy way, it does allow for me to prepare for storms.
The thing that many of my “psychic” moments predict is a loss of integrity in relationships.
It is as though those that are the closest to me, also believe that they will not be seen for their truth. And perhaps they would not if there were not these messages being received.
I am amazed in moment’s like this, of how accurate and quick formulating some things are.
It never fails, I always think I am having some crazy ass thought, that makes no sense. I question myself as to where the heck such an image or thought would come from, and then BAM just hours or a few days later these events come to pass. And i am given confirmation.
It is soul alignment.
It is a message from soul, alerting us to become more of a witness.
To pay closer attention to what is happening in our midst, and to TRUST.
Trust out intuition.
Trust our gut reactions.
And lean in.
These messages are here to help us prepare.
Help guide us.
So that we are not always operating from a place reaction,
but can become more proactive and on purpose in our dealings.
Now, I get these messages, these soul observations on “good” and “bad”events.
They come through in feelings,
They come through in visions,
They come through in dreams,
They come through in written words,
or even what you could say are signs.
I believe that God is always speaking to us.
His guidance is always with us.
We close ourselves to these messages because they make zero to no sense to our logical mind,
We cannot understand how they are possible so we disregard them,
then act in shock when things come to pass.
These KNOWING moments.
They are a blessings.
Even when they hurt.
It is said that all the great visionaries, leaders and game changers of time learned to trust these events.
SO why don’t we?
Why do we hide from our inner knowing?
Allowing our ego’s to mask what our soul knows.
Here is yet, one more thing.
One more opening,
For personal growth.
God has our back and speaks to us daily.
The only question to ever ask is,
“Am I open to hear what God has to share?”
Stop Existing & Start Living
It’s your impression of me that shuts me down.
It’s your view of who you think I am that prevents you from seeing whom I really am.
It’s your ideas about what I am thinking,
feeling that create this space between us.
It’s your fear of my inner world that holds your authentic self from coming out.
Stop putting your idea’s,
They are not mine.
Do not shut me out
because it is easier than feeling into me.
Do not disconnect and not speak,
because you already know what I will respond with.
Do not retract your love,
because you are certain you heard me say one thing when
IN FACT you were not listening.
All you hear is your program.
All you hear is your past trauma.
All you hear is your baggage.
You think you see me clearly.
But you only see my reflection.
The one that you have painted.
None of this is true.
Your perception of me,
is NOT my reality.
that anger you hold.
It is in you.
It is not mine.
That blame you are trying to hand to me,
it is yours my love.
It is not mine.
All this viewing of a shadow I never cast,
has you seeing an image of me that never has been.
It is your impression of me that shuts me down.
I feel you judging.
I feel you closing me out.
I feel you hiding.
I feel you poking at me,
hoping to see me,
but not willing to stand with me.
Confirmation of your inability to stand,
comes from your actions.
Those actions you claim you have no choice but to make.
Those actions which you initiated,
initiated with your fear,
your lack of feeling worthy.
you cast it onto me.
You see me in the blinding light of your self rage,
and you mistake me for the devil.
That devil that resides deep withing each of us.
That devil that has brainwashed you,
you into believing you are not doing anything,
but that everything is happening to you.
You are the driver of your life.
These are your choices.
This is our path.
The journey we have chosen to share.
It is your impression of me that keep’s me locked out of your castle gates.
It is your fear of being loved that keep’s you from feeling me.
It is your anger of the reflection that I provide that has the inner devil dancing in rage.
It is you my love.
It is you.
I will not own this image that you have gifted me with.
I will not claim it as my own.
I CHOOSE love.
I CHOOSE growth.
I CHOOSE soul.
I CHOOSE to see the light.
The light in me.
The light in you.
This I honor.
This I am in gratitude for.
Put down your armor,
let your warrior rest.
It is time to embrace the truth.
Time to SEE your TRUTH.
You are WORTHY.
Stand in your FEAR and cast out the devils there.
This is your calling.
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
PS- I love you♥
Today is the day. Come join me for a 10 day intensive experience to create the life that you have always dreamed of.
Stop F-cking Around goes LIVE tonight here on FB.
In a year from now you will have wished you would have taken up this opportunity to CLAIM your life.
Claim the next level.
Manifest on command.
Manifest with intent.
Own your life.
Stop F-cking Around is a 10 Day Alignment Asskickery designed for anyone who wants to maximize their full potential and shift their reality QUICKLY.
Here is what some people are saying:
“Holy F-ck! I had no idea I could get these results so quickly.”
“I love the ease that you teach these concepts with, and working one on one with you has been one of the most life changing experiences.”
“One of the most powerful, game changes I have ever been through.”
Don’t wait another moment.
REGISTER NOW for this powerful FB workshop.
Stop Existing & Start Living
The weather outside is frightful.
Thunderstorms are brewing.
The winds of change blow through my world.
I look around and if I truly wanted,
I could get fixated on all the drama,
the storms of my life.
I could focus in on my fears, my doubts and worries.
There is so much in this moment of my life that could easily carry me away like a kite in a storm.
Some days I wake and feel the pressure of all of this.
Other days my world feels light and full of sunshine.
No matter what the day starts like
I make the choice as to how i show up.
How i respond to the stimuli that life is providing.
These are the moments where i command in my blessings or i crash in the wake of the storms.
Today is like any other.
Sunshine and Thunderstorms.
So like any good abundance queen
I choose to lean into my pleasure.
I choose to breathe into my joy.
I choose to reap the blessings that are all around me.
And choose to share in the wealth.
When the storms of life gather around you.
Let them rain down and cleans you.
Find shelter in your pleasure
Shelter in your self love.
And as always
Stop Existing & Start Living
PS- Be sure to grab my new workshop. A 10 day asskickery to design the life you have always wanted.