Sex, Love and Fear.

Snuggles.
Intimacy.
Kisses.
Time shared.
SEX!

Mmmmmmmm….. sounds good, huh?
Sounds like something you want.
That you desire more of in your life.
Me too!

I sit here this morning contemplating so many things,
and I often find myself excavating past lessons so that I do not repeat them in current time and space.
As I analyze things, especially how I choose to do relationship I see how difficult I might be to have a serious one with.
And I do not believe that it is the fact that I enjoy multiple people in my life that is the difficult thing.
What is difficult for most is my integrity about it.
I share openly about my feelings.
About my past.
About my desires.
I share how I feel.

The issue is that we are taught that we should not want anything more than the relationship we have.
That the relationship we have is to complete us,
to make us happy, and to provide all our needs.
If it does not then under no conditions should you turn to someone else to get this met.
ESPECIALLY someone you may be attracted too or them to you.

I hear the statement,
” Be cautious of the situation you put yourself in.”

I hear the concern in this statement.
I hear the plea of if you hang around people you like, are attracted too then you may stray,
and straying equates to you leaving.
Because you have to make a choice.
Because there is ONLY so much love to go around.
Because you cannot have multiple relationships successfully.
Because it makes ME uncomfortable.

Okay, here is where I get a little uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable in my truth.

My truth is that I can NEVER go back to a way of living where I shut myself down from the world,
from other people,
and/or from men.
I f-cking love my male friends and lovers.
Whether current lovers of not, I may be enjoying time with them.
And when it is imposed on me that I need to not do this,
I feel shackles being put on me and on my emotions,
my heart,
my desires,
my energy.
And YES you better believe I will be making a choice.

I am poly my nature.
In all things I do.

I do love many.
I do enjoy many.
And may be likely to have intimacies in multiple ways with a few.

The one’s who capture my heart,
capture my essence for a season of our lives dancing together,
are the one’s who are confident enough in themselves and who get the difference between love and need.
Who can embrace my feminine wave of love.
These are the ones or THE ONE that will hold me a lifetime.

Now I am not speaking on sex here.
When I say intimacy,
I mean depth in revealing.
Sex can be this intimacy,
however sexing will only be as deep and intimate as we allow ourselves to be revealed in it.
Sex can just be that, sex.
It can be friction based and meaningless.

Sex does not mean love.
Sex does not mean commitment.
Sex does not mean intimacy.

Sex is a communication tool,
a physical communication tool .
And if you show up at only a surface level in your daily interactions with a lover,
then your sexing will only mimic the same.
Surface sex.
If you have depth, intimacy, surrender, authenticity in your daily interactions then your sex can go to this level as well,
or it can still be held in a place of disconnect if we are letting everything be heard in other ways but are scared to speak our truth in the bedroom.

Sex DOES NOT mean intimacy.
or love.

It can however deepen our intimacy and love.
It all depends on our level of surrender with our partner.

In the land of poly,
many believe that poly means to have multiple sexual partners. But this is not true,
poly is about something much more frightening than sex.
It is about LOVE.

Loving multiples.
And in love we can go deep with someone,
and we might open the gateway to sex.
Good sex.
Might I even say gourmet sex?
Because of the love,
because of the more authentic relating.

But poly DOES NOT equate to sex,
lot’s of sex,
or sex with many.

You can be monogamous in your sexing, 
and polyamorous in your relating and intimacy sharing.

And you can have success in this.
Just like you can have success in an open relationship with open sexing, or a swinging relationship.
Just like you can have success in a monogamous relationship.

A successful relationship is not about the sexual labels you put on it.

It is based on the confidence that each party has in themselves first, the self-love they have, and their ability to show up authentically in the realtionship. Which means authentic communication.

Year spent together does not equate a successful relationship.

Happiness does.
Unconditional love, and forward moving growth,
individually and together gives you opportunity to have this.

The most happy people on the planet are the one’s who have multiple close relationships. The healthiest people are the same.
Healthy mentally, emotionally and physically.
All requires intimacy shared.

Closing yourself off to the world is a death sentence in an essence.

Closing yourself off to the world and ONLY allowing intimacy to be shared with but ONE is putting all your eggs in one basket and putting an unrealistic expectation on the ONE. As well, as expecting that you as an individual can survive with only this one food source.

Because relationships are food.
They are emotional, mental, spiritual food.
They effect our body, mind and soul.
They impact us at a deep level.
And not having them does not mean that we are not effected.
Avoidance of relationship DOES equate avoidance of your heart and soul.
It is hiding from all the intimacy and truth that you are meant to share.

We hide out of fear of getting hurt.
We choose to not get involved,
to not catch feelings,
out of fear of getting burned.

If we do step into a relationship,
we then revamp our whole world and expect our partner to do the same, by not having relationship outside of the primary relationship. Often this simply means to pull away from anyone that there may potentially be “feelings” for.
And we do this out of fear.
Fear of loss.
Fear of being abandoned.
Fear of having too much love.
We close off because our ego’s affirm to us that it is not safe to love.

NEWSFLASH!
Love will not hurt you.
Love is not limited.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” ( 1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

So why do we fear it so?
Why do we handcuff it so?
Why do we cover it with our self-centered need?

Because we do not understand.
And we equate many a thing to be love.
We fear what we do not know.
We fear what we cannot control.
We fear that we will loose if we love,
therefore we choose to turn our backs on love,
as we embrace its doppelganger of lust and need.

Authentic loving,
is authentic relating.
Authentic intimacies,
come in many ways and are what brings joy and surrender to all relationship.

Sex is never a reason to fear loss.
Love will never create loss.

The only reasons we change seasons with a relationship is because we have either out grown the relationship or have not grown to the next level within it,
or it was based on need ( not love) and those needs are no longer being met.

Level up your love life,
by tapping into your authentic self.
Embody yourself and open to love.
This is the answer to your happily ever after.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

If you are ready to make the leap then reach out to me today. I am running a Christmas special where you get 2-months of coaching for FREE. Check it out and use the SANTAGIFT code in the why you want to work with me section.

The Small Things Are The BIG Things In Your Success.

Success happens with in the small things.

The small things is what makes all the difference,
because the small things are actually BIG mother f-cking things.

Have you noticed this?
I sure have luv.
I am sure that you have noticed how you can focus in on all these BIG ass boulders and you can spend your life trying to push those damn boulders up the mountain you are climbing,
with little to no movement,
and THEN,
then you do thi sone little thing,
that seem’s like nothing really.
It’s a no-duh sorta thing even,
it’s a thing that you wonder,
“Why did I never think of that?”
and you do it,
and it MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

Yes success happens with in the small things.

Failure happens in the small things too.
You may understand this one a bit better.
Think about the relationships that you have had that have failed.
Was it big things or a pile up of small things that destroyed the intimacy,
the connection,
the trust,
even the love?

It was the small things , right?
Small things.
They seem so small
and so unimportant often.
They appear as though they should be easy to move through,
to avoid,
to conquer even.
And we most certainly should get over them quickly.
Small things are small hurdles after all.

And they are!
They are IF,
IF….

we let them be just that,
and we are proactive about discovering them,
and doing whatever it is that we need,
to clear the small hurdle.

Often this means,
small actions.

And in the land of success,
and moving those boulders with ease,
you have to be willing to look into things that are in your shadow,
into things that you may already be doing, ‘but are not doing where,
with whom,
or exactly how you need to be doing them.

These sort of things, are the things that can take you from zero to 60 in under a minute flat.

These sort of things,
can make or break you.

The issue always come’s back to realization of them,
and how we choose to perceive them.
It comes back to ego.
It comes back to heart.
It comes back to alignment.
Which means…..

What feels good,
and yet pushes your comfort zone.

The answer though is always in it feeling good.
Anything that does not feel good will create a low vibe in you and create chaos and destruction.
So NEVER….
NEVER EVER do that which you “think” you should do for anyone else, if it makes you feel bad in shape.
Especially if it scares you ass it may be dangerous,
it may cause some emotional or psychological issue within you, such as shame. Or it leaves you with a feeling of bitterness or fear of loss if you don’t do it.

This is not following your joy.
This is not alignment.
This is not jumping over a small hurdle to some success of moving that boulder up the mountain.

NO.
It most certainly is not.
Instead this sort of pushing through will add other boulders to your process and prevent you from success.

So put simple,
Just don’t do it.

It is okay to be selfish and say no to something or someone,
as saying now is saying f-ck yes,
to ourselves.

And being a f-ck yes to yourself will keep you high vibing!

Guess what luv,
saying yes to yourself at all cost,
is one of the most important small things you can do too.
It is the one small things that is the BIGGEST thing you can ever do to get that boulder up the mountain with ease.

But it will take courage.
It will take compassion for self first.
It will take passion,
and it will take a hell of a lot of self- love.

But YOU ARE WORTH it.

You are!

So focus in on the small things that will make all the difference today.
Focus in on the self-love that you have been denying yourself.
Focus in on the things that make you feel high vibe, make you laugh, make you smile.
Focus in on the small things as they are not small at all,
they are the BIG things.

And your success is going to totally rock out of the ethers because of these things.

Just say yes.
Say YES…
TO YOU.

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

—————————————————————————–
If you are ready to make the leap then reach out to me today. I am running a Christmas special where you get 2-months of coaching for FREE. Check it out and use the SANTAGIFT code in the why you want to work with me section.
HERE 

When Too Much isn’t Enough.

I am too much.
Truly I am.
The way I share,
the way I love,
the way I enjoy,
the way I act,
the way I sex,
the way I can let go,
the way I parent,
the way I live.
 
It is all too much and then some.
Yet I am happy being too much.
Even though it costs me relationships,
arguments, hurt feelings and lot’s of change.
I am too much,
and it is just who I am.
 
But my too much,
is still not enough,
because my too much,
won’t give you what you want and may need.
 
How can this be?
Too much is not enough???🤔
 
You see it is the very fact that in being too much,
I push the limits.
I push the limits on everything,
especially on love, on relationship, on sex and my over all way of living.
Too much means that I am demanding in these things.
Too much means that I know what I want,
and I am not afraid to go after it.
Too much means that if I feel like I need more of something or that I cannot achieve it in the way before me that I will go and get it another way,
and tell you about it.
Too much means that I share.
I share in massive amounts,
because I want you to know.
I want you to step into the pool of living with me,
in integrity.
I want to grow,
and experience,
and I want to do it with those who want it too.
The other too muchers out there.
 
Yes, too much means that I understand that life is very polyamorous in so many ways. I know that my heart can expand to the depths, to the horizons that I choose. I know that I can love many and deeply. And I do.
 
I do this daily.
I do it openly,
and it makes me too much.
For many.
 
My too much is not enough,
even though you proclaim it is everything.
My too much is not enough,
even though you claim not to want to change me.
My too much is not enough,
even though you enjoy when it suites your desires.
My too much is not enough,
because it will push you to your limits.
It will make you uncomfortable.
It will test your heart.
It will call to your soul.
It will demand for you to fly or to walk away.
 
I am too much,
and it is a life long heartache,
as I share of my too muchness,
with those who love it and then hate it.
I am too much and with it comes the pain of loss,
as people ebb and flow,
and say they cannot do it.
With feeble excuses,
they move into knew life choices,
they run away from my too much,
to all that is comforting and less challenging.
 
Here is the reality of life for anyone who is truly too much.
We share deeply of ourselves,
we love deeply of those who dance with us in moments of our lives,
and we know that our too much will burn them.
And with the fire they will run.
Run into the arms of another.
Run into the comforts of average.
Run into the excuses of ego,
of jealous,
pride,
fear.
Run.
Run.
Run.
 
Yes that is what will happen,
because my too much is not enough.
And it will push you into the pain of reality.
The pain that you cannot hold me.
You cannot control me.
You cannot conquer me.
You can only dance with me.
And dance I will for hours and days,
for months and years,
and even decades.
But it is ultimately your choice,
how long the dance lasts.
 
Grow and expand.
Breathe in the feelings.
Breathe in the beauty,
the boldness,
the joy,
the play,
the adventure.
But heed the desire to stop it’s flow,
for in that moment is when the dance will end.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.
 

The Goddesses Dragon – My Tale of Surrender to the Masculine

He wants my surrender.
I can feel it at my greatest depths.

He wants me fully.
Open and inviting to his everything.
He wants my surrender,
and he is willing to work for it.
He is willing to take the journey into the depths of my being,
where he will uncover my hidden treasures,
which I fear may seem like dragons,
yet he assures me in his holding,
that he does not want to slay my dragons,
he only want to bask in their beauty,
he wants to sit with them in moments of stillness,
and he wants to just take them in.

He wants to see their beauty,
that beauty that only a deep understanding of love can handle,
that beauty that is so revealing of the soul.
Most are not strong enough within themselves to face this beauty,
this light,
this power,
the dragon.

Most fear being devoured by it.
What they begin in the courting process admiring from a afar,
they end with wanting to own and control.
Because it scares them.
It is wild,
it is fierce,
it is powerful beyond measure,
and desires to conquer the hearts of its admirers.

Few are able to hold themselves,
within the presence of this beast.

But, every now and then,
a gentleman comes about,
makes himself known,
and smiles in the presence of the magic he has found in caverns of the goddess.

And this gentleman,
this gentleman,
ignites the goddesses soul.
Sets it on fire.

And she desires to dance for him.
She desires to open herself for him,
and let him in.

Yet she is scared beyond measure,
her past tells of beautiful love saga’s,
intense love and loss.
She is fearful to become vulnerable with this man.
Because of the pain,
the pain that her heart will endure.
Yet she desires it all.
The love and depth,
are worth the pain.
Are worth the standing before her own dragon,
and smiling within its flames.

She know’s that this man,
is rare, and unique.
That he is one who can hold her fire.
At least for a time.
And she wants to surrender.
She craves the intimacy.
She craves the revealing.
She craves the integrity.
And the opening.

Physically.
Mentally.
Emotionally.

She leans in.
And she drops into his arms,
resting in his strength.
Resting in his admiration.
She let’s her emotions be seen.
She laughs,
she cries,
and she opens a bit more.

This cavern is deep.
And she realizes,
that her dragon is not to be feared.

She now understands what this gentleman has known,
the fire of her dragon will not harm when lifted in love,
it will only light the way to more caverns for them to explore.

Explore together.
The depths of their souls.

And so she looks at the gentleman,
with tears streaming from her eye’s,
and she say’s yes to the opening.

They lay together, enwrapped in the moment,
and they smile.

Blessed be to all of you who read this and venture into the depths of the goddesses caverns with hearts on fire,
and souls ignited.

Be wise in your journey and know that the dragon is there to protect the goddess from those that are unworthy,
and there to guild those who are,
into her surrender.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

The only question any morning is…

One of those mornings where it’s to freaking’ cold to get out of bed.

Where I just find myself not wanting to even venture to the bathroom to pee.

Brrrrrrr….

Talked Levi my 12 year old son into going downstairs and making mom coffee.
Such a sweet boy.
He made it, brought it up to bed side and kissed my forehead as he asked if he could snuggle after school with me some and then left to make it to class on time.

Yes it is one of those mornings.

It is one of those mornings, where I feel hormonal, tired and non-productive. My lower back is aching and my ovaries are screaming at me.

I can feel my energy drained even though I have not even started my day yet.

I can feel my temperament a little off as well.
I am sensitive.

Yes it is one of those mornings.

It is one of those mornings, where I lay here focusing in on my gratitude’s in life, on the blessings and the joys. I snuggle under my covers and think of all the beauty God has given me. The opportunity and the love.

I am grateful.
Yes it one of those mornings.

It is one of those mornings where my Our Family Wizard buzzes and I see that my baby daddy has messaged me bright and early, thinking our son is still ill like yesterday, I open the message to see what’s up and discover that I have a boundary being pushed on. That his desire is to control my world and dictate my day to me despite what I have already shared. My ego flares and my heart aches. Fear rises up inside of me as I feel suddenly overwhelmed and lost in life.

Yes it is one of those mornings.

Brrrrr….

It is a day of turning inward.
It is a day of standing up.
It is a day of honoring my body.
It is a day to remain present.

Like every day.
It is a day in life.

And the truth behind today,
is nothing greater than the truth of yesterday or a day last week or last year.

It is just a day.

Perhaps you have noticed that in life we are always offered many options as to how our day will unfold.
Thus how our week,
our month,
our year
and our lives,
will unfold.

It comes down to the thoughts we choose to attach too.
It comes down to the games we decide to enter into with our ego’s.
It comes down to what we choose to focus on.

This is what makes all the difference.

I am often asked, ” But how do I stop thinking about this or that? It’s so bad, so stressful. It worries me. I am fearful of it.I cannot just not think about it.”

No you may not be able to stop the thoughts from coming through.
You may still feel the concern, the worry, the fear.
But here is the truth,
YOU and ONLY YOU make the choice to focus on it or not.
You are the one who chooses to attach to that thought, to that emotion and allow it to guide and even control your actions, your future thoughts, your future feelings and your life.

If you want to live a Freedom Based Life,
If you want to wake up every morning and feel in charge and in harmony with life,
In flow with your life and purpose.
And most importantly in love with who you are and where you are.

Then you must let go of the need to attach to these unsupportive thoughts.

You must let go of the idea that you are a victim to the thoughts.

Or a victim to anything.
You must let go of the idea that someone else or something outside of yourself has any control of how you choose to show in life,
to feel,
to think.

If you want a F-ck Yes Life!

And baby you deserve this.
Then you HAVE to LET GO!
You have to KNOW that the only thing you can ever do,
is stay present and do everything within your power to focus on what makes you feel good.

This is your ONLY work.

So yes….

It is one of those mornings.
It is a morning of snuggles,
a morning of sweet gestures,
a morning of love and kindness,

It is a morning of hormones,
of back aches and fatigue,
a morning of frustration,
of ego trying grab hold,

It is a morning of gratitude.
It is a morning of power.
It is a morning of self-love and acceptance.

It is a morning where once again the opportunity to Claim the life we want is at our bedside.

The only thing to decide this morning is,
Am I F-ck YES or a F-ck NO.

Will You Embrace Your Power and Claim Your Freedom Based Life?

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

Join me for 5 Intensive Weeks in a LIVE Global Facebook Workshop Starting October 22nd, 2018. Where I show you how to Embrace Your Power and Claim Your Life. Learn how a single mom of seven developed the skills to go from fear and scarcity, making $17k a year to abundance and joy making a multi-six figure income a year.

I will be sharing mind shift strategies that I have adapted through the years to manifest the Freedom Based Life that I now live today.

Limited Workshop Spot’s due to the 1+1 Private Focus Sessions that come with this workshop.
Grab Your seat now for

Embrace Your Power – Claim Your Life
“5 Step’s to a Freedom Based Life”

It is NOT compromise. It is rape!

Are you effing kidding me?
Really?
How can you do that to your body?
To your psyche?
To your everything?

I don’t effing get it.
Yet…

I DO.

I get it because I use to do it too.
I did it so much that I grew comfortable with it.
It just became part of my norm.
And I did not see the bitterness and resentment that it engraved into my life,
into my relationship,
until it was too late.

I thought it was just how it was.
And that it was “okay.”

After all life is about compromise, right?
We cannot always have things our way,
and sometimes,
actually often,
we have to find a space that neither side gets what it wants and both give in to something that is doable to make the results the best they can be.

So, this is what I thought I was doing.
And I was.
And you are too!

But you want in on a little secret?
Not a secret, actually,
just a reality that you may not want t o hear because you may feel disgusting after you fully digest it.

In these times like I share here,
which happens to be all too many times in our lives.
In all areas of our life as I have discovered.

You are raping yourself.

Yes.
I just said that.

And I will say it again.
So happy f-cking Monday morn my peep’s!!!!

You are raping yourself.
You most likely are doing it right now.
Or you soon will be.
Or you will in a few hours or by the end of today.

Your raping yourself.
You are are bending over,
spreading yourself open,
saying “sure, that’s okay….yeah…yeah…let’s do this or that.”

You are believing that you have to do that in order to exist
You have to do it in order to keep peace,
in order to enjoy some rewards that you don’t believe you will have unless you give of yourself in this fashion.

You believe that if you were to say no.
To say I am not in the mood.
I am not turned on to this or that.
It does not feel good to me.
That actually hurts me.
I don’t like that at all.
I never get anything from this.

or…

some other statement of your lack of interest in it,
that you would loose something.

You are afraid that you would have life shut you down in some way.

You are afraid that if you stated your truth,
that you would not be received well,
and then that would hurt you more than just saying yes,
when you are a no.

So you say, ” Okay.. let’s do it!
And you figure, ” It’s just compromise. It’s just the way life is. You cannot have everything you want all the time. So what’s the harm is giving of yourself this time or the next when even though you really hate it, or are shut down to it?”

Whats the BIG effing deal?

Rape seems like a harsh term to use Kendal.
I am not raping myself!
I am just compromising.
I am just letting someone else use my body, my time, my energy, my money, my life for their pleasure. For their abundance building. for their goals and aspirations.

That is the way life works.
Have you not heard?

Sure I don’t feel great afterward.
My body feels yuck.
I feel a low grade depression.
I feel weaker,
less excited about things.
I have a tough time looking in the mirror.
Or making eye contact.
I crave all the wrong foods or I feel like not eating at all.
I am testy.
Moody.
Angry.
Anxiety ridden.
Fatigued.
Can’t sleep well.
Weaken immune system.

Yeah so what.
That is just part of life.
It’s not rape.

Well, I am sorry to shed the light on this for you,
but as a woman who has experienced rape in the sexual nature a couple of times in my life,

and as a woman who has had all too much duty sex AKA self rape ( in my opinion),

and as a woman who has allowed herself to be raped emotionally, psychologically, financially, time wise and many other ways through out life here and there.

I will tell you with utter certainty.

YOU ARE RAPING YOURSELF!!!!!

And to make matters worse.
You think its normal.
Its okay.
That you have too.

OMFG!!!!!
Have a little love for yourself already.
You got no love?
How about empathy?
Compassion?

Where the f-ck is your give a shit for you?
Yet you claim you want a life worth living.
You claim you want to make changes.
You claim you want joy,
happiness, love.
ABUNDANCE.

But you think by spreading your legs and allowing someone else to have their way, to pump pump eww goo in you and get theirs that you are going to somehow succeed at having the life that you want? ( scratching my head here.)

Are you effing kidding me?
You are crazy!

That is all I have to say.
Although,
I get it.

I REALLY do.
Because I have been you.
In all areas of my life.

But you know what the reality is?
At some point,
You have to close up your rape shop.
You have to start to honor yourself enough,
to say NO.

You have to get into integrity with the most important person in your life.

YOU.
And you have to not just give it lip service, no you have to actually commit to it.

You want freedom based living?
You want a F-ck Yes Life?
You want to be in love with yourself and your life?
You want to be proud of yourself?
You want to actually succeed at having what you claim you want?

Well here is the gig.
You must stop raping yourself.

In all areas of your life.
It is time.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

Join me for 5 Intensive Weeks in a LIVE Global Facebook Workshop Starting October 22nd, 2018. Where I show you how to Embrace Your Power and Claim Your Life. Learn how a single mom of seven developed the skills to go from fear and scarcity, making $17k a year to abundance and joy making a multi-six figure income a year.

I will be sharing mind shift strategies that I have adapted through the years to manifest the Freedom Based Life that I now live today.

Limited Workshop Spot’s due to the 1+1 Private Focus Sessions that come with this workshop.
Grab Your seat now for

Embrace Your Power – Claim Your Life
“5 Step’s to a Freedom Based Life”

Why Are You Settling For Less?

Sitting here in my favorite salon in Dallas.
The only place I go to get my hair done, matter fact.
I love Marcos and Jo so much if I ever move someplace outside of the big D, I will be flying back every couple months to get my hair done.

Seriously love Delilahs.
But this is not a testimony share for my amazing beautician.
It is however a writing of awareness.
Awareness to the reality that in life there are those things that we simply cannot settle for anything less with.
Its about the connection.
Its about the service.
Its about the care.
Its about the quality.

And once we find our home in something,
We don’t want to change it up for any reason.
Much like myself when it comes to my hair.

I feel this way about many things.
Like my office building.
My health care providers.

Why would I settle for anything less than the greatness that these souls offer in their work and service?

Why would I ever desire to go with something less than GREATNESS?

Sure I could get the services for less.
Probably a lot less.
If we get real.

But at what cost would those dollars saved actually cost me?

This is the truth that we tend to over look.

I am reminded about the true cost of our decisions and choices often.
From my hair appointment in this moment,
To my children’s schooling and long term educational rewards or disabilities that can come from my parental choices,
To my choice to remain
Or separate in a relationship.

If we are willing to do whatever it takes to get the best hair care, dental work, or schooling for our children.
If we are willing to attain the best real estate agent, attorney or even find ourselves going to the same pub over and over again because the bar tender is phenomenal and great to talk too,
Then why the f-ck do we settle in love.
Settle in our work.
Settle with our health.
Settle with our financial situations.

Why do we in these important areas of life allow for less than ideal?

I believe that because these areas are so important to our overall well being and life happiness,
That we find ourselves not feeling worthy of the greatness that we desire.
So we remain quiet.
We accept whatever we get.
We maintain and allow the cards to fall wherever they will.
We make statements like:
” Our relationship is great everywhere else, its just this one area. We can make due.”

” I have responsibilities. I can’t just do what I want. Who would pay my bills?”

” I don’t have the time. The money. The resources to go do….. or have ….”

” He/she loves me though. Loves the kids. Are a good person. ”

These statements of justification as to why…
Why we are choosing to settle.

Why we are allowing less than greatness into our lives.
All the while,
not embracing our truth.

The truth that we are terrified of something more.
Terrified of who we might be if we allowed better into our lives.
If we not just allowed
But commanded it into our lives.

After all if we started asking for this level of F-ck Yes! In all areas of our lives
Including the important ones,
We would have to acknowledge our weaknesses,
Our shadows,
And all the places we clutter up with fear and ego.
We would,
If we started to demand greatness in,
Have to transform ourselves into the person
Who can handle it.
Who can open up to it
And say,
F-ck YES!! I deserve this blessing.
I deserve this fairy tale life.

I am more than average and ordinary.
I am a child of God,
And God wants for his greatness to manifest
In all things.

It is my choice to open up to this greatness
Or to close myself to it.

It is up to me
To CLAIM My Life.
And STOP SETTLING,
For anything less than what God would want for me.

When we settle,
When we walk in fear,
When we doubt our worth,
We deny the greatness of God.
We deny Gods ability to move mountains,
And instead we proclaim him weak.

Your worthiness is never in question.
It is only your acceptance of your worthiness that needs worked on.

Stop settling for anything less than,
Stop living a life of existence.

This is your time,
Your moment to say,
F-ck YES!!!
I am a child of God.
And I am worthy of blessing.
Of his favor.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Me this week for the launch of my F-ck Yes Life Coaching Programs for Entrepreneurs.

Join me this week for the launch of a 5 week intensive online workshop with VIP one on one access to me.
Message me for details.

The Gift of Relationship in Life Success

Relationships break us open.
Relationships unfold us to a life that is deeper than we could ever know possible on our own.
Relationships can be freeing,
Or they can be crippling.

Relationships are our defining energy of how we penetrate our lives.
They define how we surrender to the greatness of our lives.
They define how we allow ourselves to receive and create blessings and/or suffering.

Everything we do in life,
We do through relationship.

This last year I have been in this awakening of just this that I share with you today.
I have been coming into the beautiful realization of my truth and how it has manifested and shown me all the guidance I could ever want for through my relationships with lovers, friends and family.

My realization (and perhaps you may feel some alignment too) is that I have been resisting my truth.
I have been hiding from my own uniqueness and power thus of it.

In January I lost what one might say was the love of a lifetime. My heart died that day and I have been looking for a path of resurrection for it so that I can open again to the blessings that a fierce penetrative love can bless one with.

In May I lost my second primary relationship in a shocking 2 hour event that I am sure I will never understand. This relationship taught me so much about my desires, about emotion and stability. It taught me about detachment and harshness and it showed me my weaknesses in my boundaries and lienliance around many things and I was shown just how blind one can be in a relationship as well as how we NEVER know anyone truly.

These two relationships alone have revealed to me a beauty and a reality of who I am and how I have been choosing to show up in life as well as how I am willing to receive from life or not.

I have come to a realization of my set points.
Of my programs around abundance, value, love, money and joy.
I have come into a point of awareness that each of these relationships were holding me back from my full potential.

The healing must still manifest in its own way.
But the truth is that I have been blessed without measure. I have been provided with the opportunity to create the legacy that I desire for my life.

If I tried to hold tight to the energies (the relationships) that were lower vibe than what I wanted for my life, then I would only set myself on a path of further suffering.

As a former love above says, ” A reason, a season or a lifetime.”

So true is this statement.
As every relationship offers one of these.
And we never know what it is until we reach its end.
And even then,
As past has taught me,
Some relationships serve all of the above.

And everyone of them reveals more of who we are.
Everything is a relationship.

If you are struggling then all I have to say is that there is hope. You can have it all. You really can.

I swear to you,
That if this effed up single mom of of seven from the wrong side of the tracks can find hope,
Can discover her truth,
And can manifest a life that is beyond what I believed.

Then you too can have your dreams manifest into reality.

Look at your relationships,
See their beauty no matter the pain they bestow,
And embrace who you are.
Embrace your truth.
Embrace your desire.
Embrace your power.

And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living.

My Simple Secret that Took Me from $17k Year to Multi-Six Figures

Living for the weekends.

This was a shirt I saw on a woman this morning at Starbucks.

Yesterday, I was working with a gentleman and he looked at me as he left my office and said, “Thank goodness it is Friday.”

My attorney for my custody case with my ex texted me, “His attorney has not responded yet, so I called and found out that her office closes at 1pm on Fridays. Must be nice.”

Weekends.
Is that when your life begins?
Weekends.
Is then when you decide to allow joy in? Connect? Do the things you want?
Weekends.

Okay so maybe it is not just weekends.
I bet you are more like….

Weekends.
Friday at 5pm. ( or whatever your 5pm end of the workday is)
Holidays.
Vacation days.
And an occasion fake sick day.

Does that sound more like it?
Do you live for that two or three weeks of vacation you get every year. Planning out where you are going to park your ass. Thinking about how much down time you can handle. And what you will do with it.

Does this sound like LIVING?

It sure the f-ck does not to me.
It never has.
I have never been a good employee.
Which is why I gave being one up at the ripe old age of 23.
Almost 20 years later and I can honestly tell you that even with all the trials, the suffering, the stress of what came because I chose a path to follow my heart and soul that I would not play my cards any different.
I would not choose to sell my life off by the hour to some corporation.
It just is not me.
I am my own BOSS.
Always have been.

The trick to being my own BOSS and being good at it has been the learning of what it means to get daily more and more into soul alignment.
To not allow my fear,
my doubt,
or anyone else’s to get in the way of what I am being called to do.

This is the toughest thing to do and yet it is so simple.

I cannot share with you my gratitude for the life that I have manifested for myself and my family.

I watch it blossom into something that I could never have imagined possible.

The relationships.
The experiences.
The love.
The abundance.

All because I CLAIMED IT.
I CHOOSE it.

And it is true choosing.
That is the lesson I want to express to you today.

You cannot just give it lip service.
You must COMMIT to it.
Commit to yourself.
Commit to the JOURNEY.

The journey is one that will test you.
It is one that will make you weep,
give you butterflies in your stomach,
make you ache and shudder in fear.
It will captivate you if you let it.
And this will be the only path that you can take once you venture far enough down the trail to your SOUL.

But the expression of your soul,
it is so beautiful.
So strong.
Powerful.
Magnificent.

It is the light that this world,
that the people you love and cherish,
MUST WITNESS.

That is IF….
if you CHOOSE to reveal yourself.
And to CLAIM YOUR LIFE.

Which means that the weekends will no longer mean anything.
It will cast out the five o’clock hour, because it is pointless and control that you will no longer live by.
It will say PTO days…Bah-hahaha.
It will look at your schedule, your vacations which will now just be your life,
and it will smile at its splendor.
Your soul expression will carry you to the heights that God wants you to be living at.

It is there.
It is there that you will find your happiness.
Not a step in any other direction.

But will you say YES?
Will you step into this greatness?
Will you build your legacy?

Or will you just continue on this path that society has set out for you,
living for the weekends?
Living according to someone else’s agenda?

I am here to tell you that if I can go from raising five children on $17k a year and getting government assistance to traveling the world, working an average of 15 hours a week from anywhere that I proclaim, and making a multi-six figure income as a single mom to seven. That YOU CAN have your dreams too.

And no I did not do this in some MLM company.
I do not work for anyone but myself.
All I ever do,
is show up as me.
Live as my soul desires.
Share what I am called to share.
And reveal my SOUL EXPRESSION.

I continuously CHOOSE to step more into alignment with who I am.

And THAT is ALL I do.
Daily.
Moment by Moment.

What will you Choose?

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Join me in October for 5 weeks of transformation,
where YOU Claim Your LIFE in 2018 Once and For All.
Message me for details….
or
Become a VIP Client NOW!!! From anywhere in the world.

ANNOUNCING! F-CK YES Life Entrepreneur Coaching Launching In October 2018. Message me to be added to pre-launch informational.

You were born to fish.

Somethings just feels wrong.

 
Don’t they?
 
In life we come up on these points in our live’s where we REALLY want something and it is stripped away, right in what seem’s like the most beautiful part of the experience.
 
You know what I am talking about.
It is the moments that make a significant impact on your heart,
on the course of your life even.
 
It is the moments that break you down to nothing,
leaving you fully exposed and raw.
 
It is the moments where you feel lost without hope,
searching for any little crumb of hope to keep you going.
 
Yes these moments.
 
These moments that you wonder why.
These moments that tear you apart and make you weep for all that is lost, all that will never be experienced, all the dreams that will never come to pass…
 
These are game changing moments of the soul.
 
And on the front side of these moments,
and through the healing process of them,
they feel effing wrong.
 
They feel as though they should not be happening.
That God got it all wrong on this one.
We find ourselves in these moments questioning our hearts, our intuition, our thoughts, our faith, our everything.
 
And the only logical answer yet illogical in the same is that
“I must not deserve this thing I have lost.”
“I must have screwed up and did something wrong.”
“I must have not been good enough.”
 
And so we sit an torture ourselves about how bad a person we are.
 
We come up with lists of things that we need to change,
promises to ourselves about how we will never allow this or that to happen to us again,
we confirm to ourselves that the only safe thing is to shut down.
 
And so we shutdown to love.
And it feels all wrong.
 
The universe is a funny place,
where when these occurrences happen,
we find ourselves haunted by the what if’s, the could have been’s, the dreams and desires that we once had and that still reside inside us deep down.
 
They haunt us like the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future.
 
They haunt us and share with us the things that we still desire.
That our heart cries out for.
That is not.
That cannot be in current.
 
And it feels all wrong.
 
But what if…
WHAT IF?
 
These haunting’s were actually signs from our soul.
Revealing to us that the desires that we had are still there and a possibility,
 
perhaps not in the fashion we had originally intended,
but that they are there and they are ours to manifest.
 
These THINGS that our hearts crave,
that our soul has set it’s eye on,
that God has in store for us.
 
These THINGS.
These BLESSINGS.
 
And the reason that they did not happen the way that we had originally planned was because those events, those people, those things were not in alignment to our highest and best life experience.
 
We had to grow!
Not do something to become worthy.
Not become a better person.
 
No.
We had to grow into the person that could hold those blessings,
 
and share of them the way that God intends for each of us to share.
 
It comes down to the wise statement from Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu, founder of Taoism
“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime”
 
 
If we had continued to be given the blessings freely as we were living them, then we never would have learned how to handle them properly or gain them in faith and surrender.
 
We would never have expanded our souls ability to receive the beauty of all that is offered to us in this life.
 
No one took anything away from us.
This is the truth.
What you may feel you have lost.
Is not gone.
 
You tasted of its sweetness and now you must go and earn it.
You must go and learn how to fish.
 
In the learning,
you will expand yourself to capacities you can not currently imagine.
 
You will grow.
You will once again gain,
your hearts desires.
Your souls cravings.
 
They are all there waiting for you.
But first you must fish.
 
The lessons of fishing, will lead you to the life that you desire.
You were born worthy of this life.
You must though build your being strong enough to carry all the blessing that is awaiting you.
 

And it feels right.

You were born to fish.

 

As always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

Join me in October for 5 weeks of transformation,
where YOU Claim Your LIFE in 2018 Once and For All.
Message me for details….
or