THE NAMES MEN CALL WOMEN AND THE EFFECT THEY CAN HAVE.

SWEETIE. BABY GIRL. CUTIE. LITTLE LADY.
These are among some of my most hated terms.
When a man speaks these words to me,
they send me running energetically away from him.
Nothing is more disgusting than being referred to as a small cute child like soul when you are a grown ass woman.
It certainly is not sexy to be called these things,
unless you are among the pedofilies in the world who get off on such things.
And I guess according to laws that are being tossed around for approval right now,
pedofilia is “natural.”
So maybe I am wrong here in my views.
Maybe I just believe that sexual relationship and sexual come ons should be directed at consenting adults,
and to call a woman a girl is something belittling.
Perhaps.
Or perhaps the term “girl” “sweetie” or “baby girl” is conducive for women who are not comfortable in their sexuality, in their flesh and their stature as a woman.
Perhaps some appreciate to be called such names because they find safety in a man holding the power over them as such.
And believe me, I can understand the beauty and turn on in power play and that a woman in her feminine may appear more ditzy at times, lighthearted and playful. Almost a child like innocence to her character,
but calling a woman,
“little, cute, or girl” is certainly not words of affirmation about her powerful being, or strong sexuality, or sensualness.
Terms that relate to children in my opinion should just remain out of adult sexual play or courting.
But THAT is just me.
That is just what I am turned off too.
And the reality is that if you are turned on to it and you are a woman who loves to be be called “girl” for whatever reason,
then fucking go for it.
YOU DO YOU.
I stand firm in my opinion that there is not really anything that is abnormal or unhealthy about our sexual desires or differences.
Nothing except for when we wrap in children or animals.
Neither of these can authentically consent or have the mental/emotional capability of making a decision based on sound understanding, nor are they physically built for such acts.
But that is a whole different story,
one I could go deeply passionate about because of the shit transpiring in our world that everyone is wanting to hide and turn their attention from,
but it is so fucking real.
Anyway back to the name calling.
The thing I want to point out is a level of respect that names share.
The names that we choose to call people by telling a story of how we see that person, how we feel or think of them.
And then you have the flip side of that,
The names that we call people impact that person based on their past, and can trigger many emotions and responses.
Some can be wonderful and deep.
Some can be painful and shameful.
Some can trigger feelings of “You have no right.”
In other words,
you need to get to know the person you are calling on with such terms prior to just assuming that it is okay.
For example,
I hate being called “honey” but I allow one friend/lover to do such because it is his word with me. It has been built up over a decade of a deep friendship and intimacy and I actually feel an endearing to him when he checks in on me and says,
“honey.” But anyone else, OMFG! Just shut up and get away from me. Not okay.
I have a handful of men that I feel good about being called “babe” with, these men have a certain masculine vibe with me that it works. And they do not over use it. But when I get random messages on social media or a text from someone that is not at this level of my inner circle saying that, they get bitch-tood right back at them or ignored.
And the word “sweetie,” or “baby girl” or “cutie” — WELL THROW UP!
I don’t care who you are, it’s not working. Makes me want to grab someone by the balls and do not so nice things.
WHY?
Just because that is how I personally feel about these words.
They are fighting words to me if anything.
Many men like to call women “love” and it is a pretty general term these days,
I even catch myself saying it to people.
But not random people I have never met or do not know well enough to exchange terms of endearment with,
and I always make sure that the feelings are mutual and I am not crossing any lines.
But again,
many men tend to think it okay to approach out the gates with this comment,
believing that women will be captivated and I guess drop to their knees and say, “OMG where have you been all my life, I feel so much love coming from you, I just can’t control myself. I must get with you.” —- REALLY?
Said no confident woman ever to a man who drops a cheap ass line like that or any of the ones above.
Name calling is a big deal,
weather you want to believe it or not,
agree with my feelings on these names or not,
I can promise you one thing,
when someone calls you a name,
or you call someone a name,
you feel something,
and that impression that you feel sets a boundary.
Sets a tone to the whole relationship.
Just the other day a dear man in my life messaged me,
“Good morning Kendal.”
I have chosen to allow this man into my more intimate world,
into my inner circle and life and connect deeper with me. This has occurred over a year of deep relating and learning each other,
and so I responded back and said,
“Please call me Rene ( my middle name) it’s the name I choose to go by with those close to my heart.”
Now first, dear men reading this, if you are not this man or the few, and I mean VERY FUCKING few people that I am down for using my middle name, then please DO NOT message me saying “hey Rene”
that will not get you any brownie points.
Second, what I was sharing with him was my trust.
My heart and that I was wanting and willing to be more vulnerable, more seen with him.
That he had earned it by being a man that respected me in so many ways.
Had he played his cards different and called me by any of the names above on my DO NOT USE list,
well this would not have happened.
And then we would not be as close as we are either.
Name calling holds energy.
And this is what you need to understand.
Name calling says a ton about both sides.
Respecting someone,
loving someone means that you get to know them first and listen to their needs.
And guess what the first exchange in any relationship typically is?
Yes our name exchange.
So to make an assumption and start off with your choice of name just because that’s what you like,
that’s what you feel comfortable with,
is you disregarding the others feelings and doing potentially exactly what some of these names lay evidence too.
Make small of that person.
So get to know a person.
Respect a person.
And realize this,
WORDS HAVE POWER.
 
 
 
 
As Always,
 
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
 
 
 
What are you waiting for my love?
 
Let’s get you your power back.
 
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YOU LOVE HER POWER BUT YOU FEAR IT AS WELL.

YOU LOVE HER POWER BUT YOU FEAR IT AS WELL.

 

The wild woman.

The seductress.

The lover.

Her beauty and mystery,

something that you desire to taste more of.

The way she moves,

the curl of her lips as she speaks.

You watch her every move wanting more.

She is free and open,

she laughs and plays as though she has an innocent heart,

but the fire in her eyes reveals a woman who knows herself,

a woman who was born to lead and command great army’s if need be.

You feel her power by just standing in her presence.

You feel her hunger when you come near.

She is wild and crazy,

she is untamable and unfiltered,

She is coy, collected and breathless.

 

And you want her.

You want to experience her touch,

her kiss, the smell of her soft skin.

You want to hold her gently as well passionately.

She tests your manliness,

she toys with your thoughts and energy.

She is deliberate.

And you know this.

But you want more.

 

Believing that you can hold her.

Believing that you can carry her.

Believing that you want nothing more than her radiant light to expand through all the heavens,

you cannot imagine a world without her beaming beauty and strength,

and yet you fear it.

 

Deep inside your being there is terror.

It is unsettling and true.

You do not feel worthy of her,

you question if you are strong enough.

She rattles your inner most cages and shakes you to your soul,

can you conquer this greatness of the wild woman,

and do you even truly want to?

 

Will she let you penetrate her soul?

Or will you just be among the many who have tried and only fell by entering her body?

 

You want to be the one.

You desire her so.

You want to be the one that takes her breath away,

the way she does yours.

 

And so you try….

you stand firm in her fires,

you open yourself to utter destruction.

You know that you love her,

and feel confident if just for this moment in time that you can hold strong and breathe her in and hold her.

But the wilderness of the wild woman’s soul is not to be captured nor contained by any.

She was born free and free she must remain.

She is a goddess,

she is a witch,

she is a siren,

and a Queen.

She knows her power and will allow for it only to be pushed down for so long,

and then you will feel her rise once again and claim her rightful throne,

and under her foot will fall many.

All those who wanted to own her,

to conquer and control.

These are the boys who thought they were men.

These are the men who thought they were kings.

But they shunned her light as they spoke sweet words of love.

They harnessed her joy as they held her tight in their insecurities.

They jailed her passion, her sensualness and power with their jealousy and fear.

And she allowed them.

She let them rule her for a time,

in hope that she could be happy.

Here in the misery of her weakened state,

her shadow.

 

She is a wild woman.

And in her beauty you will be lost,

you will desire and crave,

you will want for her light to never dim,

but will you be like all the rest who have fallen?

Claiming her as your own.

Trapping her power.

Wanting it all for yourself.

As if it were something that you could take or understand.

 

Far from average she is.

She was never meant to be tamed.

There is no domesticating a wild woman,

you would be wiser to destroy the most beautiful of stain glass windows, then to try.

If you love her let her remain free.

In spirit.

In power.

In love.

Watch her dance for you as she will.

She will make you laugh and feel full in her intoxicating ways.

Let her move you as only the wild can.

But never,  never hold on too tight.

Or know that her light may be put out with your hand.

 

Delicate and strong,

the wilderness will always call her.

She is a wild woman,

and you are but a man.

 

————————————————————————–

To all my beautiful wild women out there.

You know who you are. 🙂

My sisters you are deserving of kings,

enjoy all the men that you want,

but never settle for a throne that is not yours.

 

Hold your power and joy before you.

Feel into your hearts and pussies for answers,

ignore the trumpting judgments of those who do not see your truth and radiance,

they are blinded by the shadows of their own fear.

 

You are a wild woman and always will remain.

Open yourself to the universe,

open yourself once again to the gift of receiving.

It is here in your womb that you know your truth.

Listen with your heart of the wild.

 

Now run forward my fellow Queen.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

What are you waiting for my love?

Let’s get you your power back.

October Asskickery Month is upon us almost and you are not signed up for 4 powerful asskickery sessions with me, where you get to take back the life that you have always desired.

 

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PHOTO CREDIT @DANDELION iMAGES

I FUCKING LOVE MEN!

I FUCKING LOVE MEN!
I do.
I always have,
Always will.
No matter how they bring my heart pain sometimes,
To me men are amazing in so many ways.
Everywhere, from a man who knows truly how to touch a woman,
Deeper then the flesh,
To the soul.
Letting her feel his heart,
To a man’s ability to lead.
To direct and see the pathways needed to solve a challenge.
Men are truly wonderful.
When they are conscious.
When they are confident.
When they are open and playful.
When they know thier worth,
When they allow themselves to be true to themselves.
Men are wonderful.
This week has been filled with so many yummy men for me.
I have had the pleasure of dancing in at least a dozen men’s masculine light,
Feeling thier joy, their fear, their pain and desire.
And in spending these moments with these men,
My heart expands.
My desire grows to be penetrated deeply by the masculine.
I am not referring to sexual penetration here,
Although that’s awesome as well.
But what I am speaking of is the deep heart penetration that a man can offer a woman in his surrender to himself.
That revealing he can gift a woman with when he drops his guards and trusts, if just for a moment in time her presence.
Allowing himself to be grounded there with her.
Giving himself permission to breathe and recieve her light.
Yes this is the deep penetration that I desire to expand,
And this week has gifted me with quiet a few moments that ignite this desire.
This week has offered me just this level of depth with the masculine and it makes me crave more.
To witness the playful heart of a man as he steps himself into feeling his turn on,
As he embraces his love for what appears to be just out of reach.
To listen to the divine masculine speak its truth about his pain of not being enough,
About not feeling appreciated,
And his truth in his desire for so much more in life.
To feel the juiciest of his passion,
His hunger to conquer and be seen fully.
This is the masculine I love deeply.
This is the masculine that arouses me at a soul level and has me craving.
I fucking love men.
When they are actually men.
Because you see a man who is all of this yumminess,
Is a man that drops me into surrender.
A man who can conquer me in the moment of passion because he knows how to penetrate me not just enter me.
And THIS is rare.
Most men enter a woman and believe that’s penetration.
And then wonder why thier woman will not soften or surrender.
Why she will not TRUST him.
Or let herself fully be seen and expressed.
But I tell you,
Its because he has not learned how to truly penetrate.
Not his woman.
Not his purpose.
Not this world.
And means he has no clue of what it means to be a man.
A conscious, dynamic, powerful man.
He is eternally stuck in boyhood.
Playing the victim in his life.
Blaming and feeling jealous.
Anxious and uncomfortable with his heart.
When a man discovers his worthiness and learns to truly love himself,
This all changes however.
And this is the masculine I love.
This is the masculine who turns my soul on.
Men are wonderful.
Men are so desirable.
Men when they are conscious and mature,
When they know how to play and make love to life,
Are the divine masculine.
The healing agent.
The leaders and fathers,
The lovers and protectors,
That our world so desperately needs.
I fucking love men.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “
Are you a man who wants to ignite and penetrate the feminine and this world like I shared above but have little idea as to how to do this?
Reach out now and let’s discuss 1:1 opportunities now.

LIVING FOR SELF.

LIVING FOR SELF.

One of the hardest lessons I keep learning in this lifetime is just this.

The constant reminder that we are truly not here for anyone’s else’s happiness but our own.

Its a difficult lesson,
Because we are trained from our birth forward that putting others feelings, well being and happiness “should” always come before our own.

However the reality is not so.
You will never find happiness or fulfillment in putting yourself on the back burner of your own life.

We are all here for the same reason,
To expand and thrive.
Through our wanting for more in our life experiences we expand the universe.
It is through our conscious creation and desire that life manifests and we create everything that is, that was and ever will be.

We grow this desire and our wanting by experience of all that we do not want for,
Such as lack in any subject area that we want abundance in.

But for us to have the life that we are desiring we MUST become the person who can take hold of it. Meaning WE have to grow ourselves.
We have to become our truest self and get into alignment with out desires.

As vibrational beings this means that we HAVE TOO PUT OUR HAPPINESS FIRST.

No more playing around and taking responsibility for everyone else’s joy while we sit in toxity of giving our last drop of us to this other who at the end of the day cannot even fully gain happiness through our exhaustion.

Sure we can offset anothers sadness or life issues to a degree,
But cannot eternally fix anyone else’s shit.
We cannot actually make anyone else happy for the long haul.

Happiness,
Just like gratitude, love and the feeling of abundance is an inside job. All we can do is assist someone feeling those things in the short term, but if they do not find it within and know thier own worthiness then at the slighted retraction of our energy,
They will fall the fuck apart.

This is how you know that someone has become dependent on your energy.
Not realizing it often when we are in this state of dependence we are actually being what is known as an energy vampire,
One you must feed on the kindness,
The love, the empathy, and even the sadness or anger of another to keep themselves stable in life.

Those who are not acting from thier authentic selves, who are out of alignment with God thus thier own soul and who do not know themselves, love themselves, often are guilty consciously and subconsciously of doing this.

And they can make those around them feel guilty for thier life misery. They will play and toil with others emotions, acting the victim and helpless lost soul just to get thier feeding.

But this is where we all must realize that NONE OF US are here to save anyone else.

And we cannot even help them save themselves if we do not care for self first.

Its just like the speech we have all heard on the airplane at take off about the oxygen masks.

“Put it on yourself first before helping anyone else, including your child.”

This is because you are of zero help if you can’t breathe, if you are passed out or worse dead.

And the same applies to our day to day life and relationships.

You are of zero use if you exhaust yourself to the point of fatigue, disease and illness, depression all under the belief structure that you need to put every other asshole on this planet in front of self.

You MUST LIVE FOR SELF.
You must get selfish and love yourself enough to say no to everyone,
Even when,
Especially when they are playing on your emotions and hoping you will feed them.

Fuck them.
They need to learn how to love themselves enough to align the fuck up to source and not need your beautiful ass anymore.

They need to take fucking responsibility for thier own lives and energy.
For thier emotions.

And stop handing over the reigns to each and every Joe that passes by.

And you my dear,
You need to just do the same.

Its time to take back your power.
Take back your life.
Take back your energy and LOVE YOU.

Because baby you are so worthy of being in alignment and feeling fucking awesome.

You are worthy of living the life that you desire.
You are worthy of happiness, love and abundance.
Well being and satisfaction of who you are.

But you will never get any of this as long as you keep sacrificing your energy for all the vampires that you love.

Stop enabling them,
And start being you.

With all my love on this transitional day.

Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

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DandelionImages

 

HOLDING SPACE FOR SELF AND DESIRES IS F-CKING HARD SH*T!

HOLDING SPACE FOR SELF AND DESIRES IS F-CKING HARD SH*T!
Man is it ever.
And most people are not strong enough to do just that.
They want to sorta throw up all their desires and fears on anyone who will listen.
Especially their fears.
And then later ,
IF they are doing internal work they want to share, share, share their desires.
All because they are learning to “speak their truth.”
And you know what?
That is true.
Anyone of us who have ventured down this path of self-awareness and love knows how hard it is to learn harmony in this boat of new found territory where we are given permission to ASK FOR WHAT WE WANT.
And it seems that we should be able to just ask,
and then any logical soul knows that whomever we are asking of will then answer.
And in a perfect world they will answer the way that WE WANT THEM TOO….
Every time of course.
LOL.
Okay maybe not every time but most of the time, right?
Because if we are feeling this,
then certainly they are as well.
And if we are both feeling this,
then it just makes sense that it can easily happen.
However, often this is not the case.
Often even if everyone feels it, thinks it and may want it,
frequently the universe has set a different course for the time being and we have to learn the lesson of ACCEPTANCE.
Turning our expectations that we claim we do not have,
but secretly always do,
into acceptance of what is and that we are always being given EXACTLY what we need in life at any given moment.
And you know what?
That right there is some hard a*s sh*t!
But it is worth it.
When we are accessing new areas of self,
becoming more embodied,
awake as some would say.
and present in life and who we are,
At first it is a beautiful land of mystery.
There Is adventure and sizzling, scary yet fun highs and lows that we easily become almost addicted to.
We learn to ride our waves of pain and pleasure,
because we start to understand this is so opening to our truth.
And it feels phenomenal to surf through these new waters and learn SELF.
The adventure of birthing into ourselves is a powerful, yummy experience.
Although not always fun.
It carries with it pain and agony.
We learn that inorder to grow and expand that we have to let go of somethings that no longer serve us,
and sometimes that can even mean relationships that we cherish.
Or jobs that pay our bills.
Because even though we enjoy them,
they are not feeding our souls journey any longer and holding on only means that we will sink our own ship.
This is some hard a*s sh*t to move through!
But it is worth it.
Then we have the internal world of our emotions.
OMFG! Don’t even let me get started here.
This subject of our human experience is among the hardest of the hard sh*t.
And that is because we are never taught how to hold space.
Not truly for someone else,
and most certainly not for self.
We get derailed by our ego’s at every corner of our path.
At first we chitter chat in our heads about fairness,
lostness, how we wish for this or that,
then when the pity party of the inverted ego starts to wear down we turn to,
look at what I am doing and how far I have come.
Pat myself on the back,
cause no one else is here to do it.
Or let me spout off about my good work,
my good deeds,
etc. etc.
The work of the extraverted ego here.
And we bounce around with our pride and our happiness.
But when no one notices right back to the inverted ego we go.
Holding those unannounced expectations on others still.
Catching ourselves.
Witnessing our ego’s is some hard AF sh*t.
And you know what is a hundred times more challenging?
Giving yourself GRACE.
COMPASSION for self to be human.
Say what?
Now I know that I have lost my marbles somewhere here in my kitchen on this rainy day.
Compassion for self?
Seriously.
May sound nice,
but there is no way that we can do that, right.
I mean I don’t want to let myself off the hook.
I am an awakened soul.
I am growing and want to make sure that I don’t mess up.
Mmmmmhmmmmm….
just like every other self proclaimed awakened soul.
But here is a little news flash my dear awakening soul,
YOU ARE STILL HUMAN.
And being human means that you may ultimately know everything,
because God consciousness does reside inside of you and moves through you,
the consciousness that creates universes is in you.
But you only get to be perfect and 100% accurate when you are in full alignment with God.
That is when you are on point.
And in order to do this,
you have to learn how to hold space for self which simply means that you have to learn how to not get trapped in your stinking thinking, criticizing and pity.
You have to not let yourself overthink everything.
You have to learn to hold your emotions in love like you would a precious baby,
without a need to try to do anything but hold them,
love them,
and APPRECIATE them.
This is ACCEPTANCE.
And this my dear is what we all must practice surrendering to each and every day of our human lives.
Because when we practice this we are practicing compassion,
GRACE for self.
And if you are looking for grace from anything else,
including God,
then check your expectations.
God always gives you grace.
God always gives you unconditional love.
God always trusts you to do what feels best to you.
God never turns away from you.
Can you say that you do the same for yourself?
Bet not.
And guess how you get into alignment with God?
Yeppers,
by gosh by golly I think you may have guessed it correctly.
By offering the same to self.
And to others second.
And that is some hard AF Sh*t to do!
But it is worth it.
You are worth it.
God knows this.
It is time though for you to KNOW THIS.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Many years ago I learned how to witness these hard AF things in self, and I spent a few years highly challenged by them. But after practicing and practicing, what I learned and was able to achieve was priceless.
Today what used to take me months and even years to move through I can successfully move through in hours or minutes even.
Can you imagine how much more fulfilling and fun life could be if you did not have to fill your mind and heart with so much chaos and worry?
Let me teach you my secrets.
reach out to me about 1:1 and online events now.

 

 

 

 

THE ABSENCE OF WHO I AM, REALLY SUCKS!

THE ABSENCE OF WHO I AM, REALLY SUCKS! 🤯🤯🤯

 

Hating on self?

Or maybe you say that you don’t hate yourself.

You don’t dislike yourself even,

you are just frustrated.

Irritated.

Down on self because you are not feeling great in your skin.

 

And I get it.

I truly do.

We all go through these times.

 

And hey here is a little secret for you….🤫

I am currently in one of those moments in life where I am a bit down on myself. I am not in this moment in love with my body.

I am not in love with how I am feeling in my own skin,

and I am having issues looking myself in the mirror.

and even feeling sexy.

 

I sorta feel a bit grossed out by myself.

The way I got here is not really important.

And that is a tough concept to get through our human minds,

because we want to have our reasons, we want to analyze and figure out the reason behind the problem.

But that will never get the solving that we desire of the problem.

Because we are stating that we have a problem to begin with instead of just letting go of all this self-judgement and turning back to our truth.

Now it is important to be aware of habit changes,

of sabotaging thing that we have introduced into our lives,

into our thoughts and emotions,

that may be contributing to the support of this self-disgust.

The reality is that you can say that you love yourself all damn day long but if you are not loving your body enough to get it moving and consuming healthy foods, staying hydrated and getting enough sleep,

plus if you are choosing to stay in toxic relationship that are not feeding your heart and soul,

and you are not leaning into YOU…

then you simply are lieing your f-cking ass off to yourself about loving yourself.

 

You have to fall in love with yourself.

You have to own up to your power and stop making yourself so damn small.

Stop fearing the impressive, expansive person that YOU ARE.

 

And that my love is why you are so full of this yuckiness to yourself.

👉The reason that you don’t like yourself is because you’re not up to speed with yourself. 🛸🤯💃

 

You got that love?

YOU WERE BORN TO BE MARVELOUS.

You were created powerful, worthy and came into this world knowing such,

but it got stolen from you by the “good” lessons that your parents and the adults in your life taught you,

what society and school/church showed you,

and you started to believe that you were not powerful, worthy and abundant.

 

You started to believe that your light was dim.

and this means that you let go of being marvelous.

And that my dear was YOU.

 

So now the absence of you, really sucks!

It really does not have you feeling your best.

You are struggling to look into the mirror or make eye contact.

You are feeling frumpy and negative,

hating on your fleshy suit and hating on who you have allowed yourself to become.

 

When the answer to your problem…

if you want to call it that…

cause us humans love to solve problems, right?

 

Is that the reason that you are not liking yourself,

let alone in love with yourself ( an me too here),

is because you’re not ALLOWING yourself to be yourself.

You have cast your truth out.

 

And you sit back in your disgust over who you are right now,

and you maintain powerful focus on what needs to change, needs fixed, where you f-cked it all up at.

 

The worst thing that you can do though is just this.

Holding yourself in focus and finding a critical thought about you.

Because that action,

that manifestation that you are creating,

 

TAKES YOU AWAY FROM WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

 

And you are powerful AF!

You are deserving.

You are beautiful and strong.

You are courageous and loving.

You are intuitive and caring.

You are worthy and abundant.

 

That is who you are.

That is what you are to be living, RIGHT NOW!

 

And it is up to only you love to take yourself from this absence of self and get the f-ck lined back up.

Synchronize to your TRUTH.

YOUR SOUL.

 

GOD.

Here is where you will fall in love with you and become mesmerized by staring into your own eyes,

lost in the sea of you.

You will be captivated at your heart and your beauty and you will not just think that you are worthy,

you will KNOW without a doubt that you are,

because your soul knows.

Your souls never has questioned your worthiness or your power.

That is why you are feeling so bad love,

because you are questioning what your soul deeply is certain of.

 

And when you come back to YOU and who YOU REALLY ARE,

well that is when whatever the problems you are having with your body and life right now, will just wash away with ease.

 

Time to start loving on the most important person in your world wouldn’t you say?

 

And STOP trying to be all this or that for everyone else that is not you.

 

With all my love, beautiful.

Remember Who You Are.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

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YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN.

YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN.
Goodbye.
To you and you and you…..
“So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu
So long, farewell, au revoir, auf wiedersehen.
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye
I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye
Goodbye!
I’m glad to go, I cannot tell a lie
I flit, I float, I fleetly flee, I fly.”
THAT’S IT!
And so we must part.
And part repeatedly we do.
Yet you long to hold me here in this moment,
forever captured by your desires.
But, neither of us can expand as long as we hold so tight.
Our power, our freedom and happiness,
comes from letting go.
Each moment that we are alive,
we are always transforming,
expanding or shrinking,
longing to be close, to merge and entwine,
or push away and fly free in who we are in the moment.
Goodbye feels permanent.
It is like the feeling of death, is it not?
And so we strive to avoid it.
We fear it.
And we try our damndest to make sure that things remain the same.
However in our attempts to keep all the same,
we destroy the beauty of our lives,
of our relationships,
we squash what was so dear.
And we then sit back and wonder why we feel such suffering.
We question why things went the way they did,
and why those that we wanted to hold precious to us turned and walked away without notice.
The answer my dear is in your desire to control.
To prevent your own pain.
You fear goodbye.
You fear transformation.
You fear your growth and the expansion of others.
You are living so far from your truth and from God in this moment that you cannot feel the love that is in store for you.
Love does not fear change or growth.
Love knows that this is an attraction based universe,
not a universe based on exertion and force of your will over everything.
Love knows no suffering.
Love never feels alone or jealous.
Love does not point fingers of blame and hatred.
Love does not look for reasons to not be love anymore but in turn become anger or drama.
There are things that we can be certain of in this life of ours.
1) All things change. Movement and expansion is a guarantee.
2) Everything is energy and operating at a frequency of its own.
3) You attract and keep in your sphere of vibration ONLY those things that are the same frequency, all other things will cause disturbance and cause separation between you and them.
Put simply,
Goodbye simply means that the energy was no longer there.
And goodbye is one of the most beautiful blessings that we are given in our lives.
It allows for all parties to be true to themselves if open to it.
We get what we need from the time spent together and then when our energies no longer connect ( vibe at the same frequency) we are set free from the engagement.
This is far from a sad event.
No matter what we are speaking of, may that be an intimate relationship, a friendship, a job or career, a home or car, etc.
This letting go of anything is only creating an opportunity for ALL PARTIES involved to move forward toward their highest and best version and experiences instead of being forever trapped with something that no longer serves their best self.
Can you imagine being trapped as a twelve year old you? Just held in all time as that version of self, with all the bondage that you most likely felt from family and society? Having longings and desires, wanting for more but knowing that you would never be able to have any of it because here is where you are eternally?
Sounds like hell, right?
And your suffering would be far greater than that of saying goodbye to your greatest love even.
Every moment that you are living.
Every person that you come in contact with,
every thought that you think and feeling that you have.
Changes who you are.
And you are never the same person you were just moments ago.
Therefore you are always saying goodbye to a version of you and to a version of whomever you are moving through life with.
Although these changes are subtle,
over time they transform us.
And create the energy gorge between us and others.
Our holding on to old versions of self and of others only causes damage to our souls expansion.
Because it creates separation between our TRUTH which is linked to God, and our life experience ( what we are perceiving here and now). This is where our anger and pain will stem from.
When we are feeling such anger and pain, blame, jealousy, worthlessness and fear we are being offered the gift of realization that we are NOT IN ALIGNMENT TO SELF.
Self is God in essence.
God consciousness moving through us.
Spirit. The divine.
And to be aligned to self,
knowing self which is pure love,
shows our alignment to God.
We cannot be aligned to God when operating from ego/fear.
And this causes constriction in the physical body and world ( our life experience).
We will start to experience chaos,
negative events, frustration and suffering.
Signs of separation.
You are powerful.
We all are powerful and worthy.
And we access this power through letting go in love not fear.
We reconnect ourselves to self and God by looking the demons of fear in the eyes and telling them to be gone,
that they are not our truth.
They are not of God.
They are not of self.
And we turn our focus to love.
To appreciation for EVERYTHING that was shared with us in moments past.
We focus in on the beauty,
the expansion and the greatness of what we have learned.
All relationship…
All relationships transform and change and say goodbye.
We all will say goodbye to each other in big ways and small ways in this lifetime.
Nothing is forever.
It was not designed to be such,
and you would ultimately not be fulfilled and happy if it all remained the same.
Look at your life,
at those in your world,
in your vibrational sphere.
And ask yourself,
” Am I holding onto this energy in love or fear?”
“Am I grasping for it wanting to control it? Or am I breathing into it and allowing it to wash through me, whirl around me and carry me to my next highest level of self?”
One is ego based.
One is aligned to God and self.
You get to choose your path and write this chapter of your novel.
What does this chapter close like?
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
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Enter Sensual Surrender For Your Magical Expereince.

I WAS FLOATING IN A SEA OF SENSATION.
 
There I was,
our flesh touching.
The water lapping around my breasts and shoulders.
I was breathing the moment and all the feeling of floating into my being.
Taking it in,
devouring it.
feeling as though the universe was asking for me to open even more and allow the deep penetration of my soul to occur.
 
There he was,
resting next to me, his hand on my thigh.
I could feel his breathing as it caused ripples in the water.
His body was smooth and his desire was present.
 
There he was,
on my other side,
breathing in the wind.
His arm touching mine,
soft and smooth.
 
And the water washed over all of us.
The wind in the trees before us was dancing and asking for our surrender.
 
My desire was to touch,
to exchange breath,
to become entwined.
 
I wanted to allow myself to be seen and felt with both of them,
I wanted to feel thier hands caressing me.
I wanted to touch and let my love be felt through the sensaul stroking and playing of our skins enveloping each other.
 
I wanted to feel.
Feel past this phyiscal state of being.
Feel through the emotions,
the fears and the concern.
I wanted to penetrate life by embodying this moment fully and dropping deeper into surrender.
 
 
My hunger was present,
a ravonous beast rumbling within my groin,
within my heart my soul rattled in the cage it felt placed about it.
I breathed.
Breathed into this container known as my physical body and asked my chest to relax,
I asked my soul what it was desiring to achieve from such a state of vulnerability and desire?
 
And my heart leaped,
it called out to the winds,
it wanted to dance naked in the moon light,
it wanted to swing in the hammuc and howl at the moon.
It wanted to be taken.
Taken into the galaxies and be blasted from every startling.
It wanted to be shed of its chains,
its fears and its silly conditions.
It wanted to defy society and relationship labeling.
It wanted to love.
 
It wanted to love fully and authentically.
and it wanted to tap back into that space,
that yummy space that it had known once before and SURRENDER to the call of this wild woman that wanted to open her wings.
Her legs.
Her heart.
Her vessel.
 
My soul knew as it knows today in this moment the power that can transend from moments of bliss,
moments of utter transendence.
It knows that when you can come together with another,
when you can drop into truth without fear or need to control,
when you can access love,
that you hold all the power.
 
That here in this space you are the key master.
And all one ever needs to do is choose a door.
 
This space I speak of is not found in sex.
It is not found in meditation nor prayer.
It is not found in work or what we might refer to as purpose.
It is not found in any relationship or nutritional plan.
It is not found in text books or doctrin.
 
This place I speak of is ONLY discovered through the greatness of your ability to soften and let the universe take you.
In the sensualness that moves through you at times like this,
no matter what the act that you might be performing,
you are moving with the magical essence and flow of the divine.
 
Here from this state of embodiment you are using all your senses.
You are not trapped prisioner to your thoughts,
not holding your emotions out of fear,
you are not touching or acting from a state of control or even desire,
you are just being.
Fully.
 
This is the expanded expression of the human expereince.
This is what we are meant to explore.
 
But we bunker down,
we armour up,
we hide and we fear.
 
In our hiding and fearing we feel loss and suffering.
We gain the illionary belief that we own one another and that we are to remain small.
We buy into the concepts of not enough and control.
ANd we search for purpose,
he hunt for joy and connection,
and we do it all with limited connection to self.
We come into our life moments with with zero to no understanding of self and we lay blame to all those we dance with for the way that we feel.
 
We hide our hearts out of fear of getting hurt,
we shut down our voices and our expressions as to not damage anyone else.
We lift up th eheavy shileds in hope that we can prevent future wounding….
 
And we feel EMPTY.
We feel lost.
Undesired,
disconnected.
And we question why?
Why can I never be happy?
Why do I always end up right back here?
 
It is the shield.
That armour that you carry.
The weight of fear and judgement.
The sword of control.
Those are what keeps you from receiving all that you want for.
Those are the demons that you bare.
 
Soft and subtle.
Fluid and entwined.
The sensaulness of a soul surrendered,
a heart opened and body unburrdened.
 
Here is your bliss.
Here is your power.
Here is the naked truth.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
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EVERYTHING THAT EVER WAS STILL IS.

EVERYTHING THAT WAS STILL IS.
Yesterday was magical.
It was tranquil.
It was adventurous.
It was testing.
I had technical difficulties left and right,
and then the ocean tide came and tried to steal my romantic lunch.
There we were sitting on Ruby Beach just off of Hwy 101 in the Olympic National Forest in Washington. Home to me in so many ways. My lover kept shaking his head in amazement.
I could see his breath being taken from him as we ventured around the corners to see yet another immensely beautiful site.My heart was filled with excitement and appreciation to be sharing my Washington with him.
He would look at me in love and smile.
Ask again the question of the day,
“Why did you ever leave here?”
And I would chuckle.
SPIRIT.
Spirit took me from here,
spirit guided me to someplace so opposite of here for a reason, and now that place ( Dallas) is home.
Lacking perhaps in many ways from the natural beauty that Washington State offers in each moment,
Dallas is now home and I was called there with a purpose.
But today’s lesson was not so much about spirit taking me from the majestic tranquility of the great Northwest,
but more so about the realness of how everything that ever was still is.
Yes everything.
There has never been anything new created.
The life that was here manifesting and creating itself so many millennia ago is still all here.
As the years pass and things change,
as we perceive life to die and go away,
we in our limited human understanding get caught up in the ending,
and by doing so we miss the reality that life…
life never goes away.
It never ends.
We never end.
We transform.
We get rebirthed into something new.
Our atoms and molecules are still here carrying our essence with them.
They may break down repeatedly and get divided into smaller particles,
all the way down to a quark,
however contained in each one of these quarks is consciousness.
The consciousness of all time.
You and I.
We are here.
Inside each of these,
inside of each other,
and we have been here forever.
And we will remain in consciousness forever more.
Your memories of today,
the love that you feel,
the memories of fullness and the magnitude that life can have on us,
those feelings of being so small and yet so powerful,
those are forever you.
Life is forever.
Life transforms.
It moves through us and God/universe experiences life through our eyes, touch and feelings.
It is what we are here to do.
LIVE.
Sitting 20 feet up on the roots of a very old and extremely large cedar tree in the Olympic National Rainforest,
I breathed in this reality.
And once again heard spirit.
LET GO OF FEAR.
LET GO OF CONTROL.
We get caught on the ending.
And this getting caught on the ending holds us away from thriving.
It prevents us from fully living,
because we fear life and we think we need to control it.
When in truth all we ever have to do is feel into life and get into alignment with spirit.
Into alignment with God/universe and let it carry us to a magical experience.
Where we transform.
Where we expand as life moves through us.
This Is terrifying to us humans however.
If we just let go and let God,
if we release our need to control outcomes,
if I dare say….
TRUST.
Then we could be left with nothing.
Or worse yet,
we could die.
And cease to exist.
This is where we truly do not pathom our power in alignment.
By releasing ourselves from the fear of death,
we gain not just life, but we gain beauty in life.
We gain the full support of the universe.
We tap into our desires,
and as we appreciate and enjoy the moment RIGHT HERE,
life will grant us with more moments of equal and greater beauty for our enjoyment.
Bad things will still be happening,
storms will still be rolling around,
however when we are in alignment and are not available for such disturbances in our vibration,
we somehow as if magically just miss them and they miss us.
And this is how it has always been intended.
This is what THRIVING is all about.
It starts however with the reality that death is an illusion.
That even though this body of yours and mine will most certainly not be here in a thousand years,
and perhaps not even for the rest of this year,
but the consciousness that is who we truly are,
it will forever be here as it always has been .
and it will rebirth itself through the merging of quarks and molecules, through the new dance of atoms,
and it will remember itself.
It will look out into this universe,
into this world and the existence that is living and will see itself everywhere.
And it will feel its power.
The question today my love is can you feel your power for this manifestation of you?
Can you embrace your life and stop making excuses as to why you cannot breathe in the moment and LIVE?
Or will you just smile at my share and wish me a beautiful life or curse me for living and keep arguing with your limitations?
It is all up to you beautiful
Namaste.
I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth and of peace. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, we are one.
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Message me for deet’s on the Magick Minute Program Coaching available globally now.
 

LOVE SHOULD BE PERFECT.

LOVE SHOULD BE PERFECT.

 

And yet it never is.

 

A long time ago when I was living in Seattle, Washington I was attending a church in Kent with a pastor that I adored. I learned so much from Pastor Jack. He was focused on teaching the congregation about blessings, about our glory and how that translated into the law of attraction.

 

I still make use of his teachings today with my clients almost daily and in my shares here with you as well.

 

Among my favorite things he shared were,

 

“More than enough with plenty left over.”

 

Which always commanded in the belief and feeling that we are always provided for,

that we always have more than enough in the things that we need with plenty left to share.

And that the leftovers are there for us to do just that …..SHARE.

 

And then his other reminder of truth that I have kept in my heart and mind all these years was focused toward relationships….

 

The relationship of marriage.

 

And in today’s world,

which even though greatly different than that of just 15 years ago when Pastor Jack was preaching his wisdom to me,

is still all the same.

 

His words of truth were simple.

 

“Marry your best friend.”

 

Those words made me look at my marriage,

and perhaps were words that supported me to divorce a few years later.  Although back then I would have felt the need to confirm that I was best friends with my then husband,

the reality was not that we were best friends.

 

We got along on a ton of items,

but I found that I had to restrict myself in so many ways,

and that was not friendship,

and certainly not best friends.

 

When I am working with couples today in my coaching practice many come to me troubled and on the cusp of a breaking up because of so many things…

 

*Not enough sex or bad sex.

*Financial issues.

*Abuse of one kind or another.

*Affairs.

*Lack of sexual desire.

 

 

And most couples will start off their tale by telling me that they are best friends with their spouse,

that they can tell them anything,

that they have fantastic communication.

But….

 

fill in the blank from above list here.

 

They believe that if they had more sex/better sex or a stronger desire for their partner,

if they were physically attracted more to them,

if they had more money in the bank,

or what have you that their marriage would be perfect.

 

Now the reality is that if you are in an abusive relationship ( no matter what that looks like) that chances are you need to get out of it because an abusive partner often does not see their wrong and change,

if you are in a relationship that has suffered from infidelity,

There can be work done and you can repair it and even come back stronger than ever before if love and communication/friendship is at the front stage of both parties minds.

 

The desire for more sex, better sex or having more desire for your partner… .these things can be detrimental if the friendship and love are not there first and if both parties are not open to raw, real discussions based in truth and love to work on these challeneges,

but if both parties are wanting the connection and can be emotionally mature to take responsibility for self and speak their truth and work together on these items,

then you can have a deeply strong bond and the sex and desire can grow from it.

 

The relationships that come to me wanting these things,

often have one MAJOR obstacle however…

 

One partner is stubborn and refuses to see the truth.

Refuses to take the matter seriously or take the time and effort required to build this part of the relationship. They don’t believe that it is their problem and that the other partner is to blame for it and needs the fixing.

 

However that is never the case.

Relationships are always a two way street.

It always requires both people to want to connect and come together. It requires both parties to take responsibility for themselves and to not get caught up in their old wounds from the past.

 

Unfortunately, this is where the relationship breaks down.

People often don’t want to do this.

They want the easy street and they say,

“Love should be easy.”

“Love should be perfect.”

 

We are all human.

And there is no such thing as the perfect human.

If you have a list of fifty qualities that you want and count highly important in a mate,

and you believe that you will get ALL of these qualities in one person and until you get them all that you will not settle,

I ask you to look in the mirror and ask of yourself if you exhibit all fifty of them yourself?

 

You are never going to find someone who is 100% of those qualities a hundred percent of the time.

 

They are human.

You are human.

And life changes and transforms us.

Some qualities can be developed over time.

Some are just there and a natural part of who we are,

some are based on energetic connections,

while others have everything to do with our gene pool.

 

If you are counting any of these qualities as love though,

you are mistaken.

 

Qualities do not define love.

 

They add to love.

They sweeten the pot.

 

Love is something that you cannot explain,

nor does it need to be explained.

It just is.

And when it is felt on both sides now you have something special.

 

LOVE COMES FROM BEING ABLE TO BE YOURSELF WITH SOMEONE ELSE, UNMASKED.

 

When we can do this with someone,

we feel acceptance and love for self and it translates to “loving someone else” because we see the reflection of what we are feeling for self as what we see coming or going toward another.

 

When we “fall in love” or catch feels for someone,

what is actually happening is that we are witnessing ourselves in love. We are falling in love with self and this other person is simply helping us see our own beauty.

 

That is why the best friend statement is so powerful.

In friendship there is an acceptance, an unconditional love.

It goes past all that life can change for us,

like our physical bodies appearance,

our health or financial status,

it looks past our ups and downs and even past the chemical connectors that we have on the front side of a romantic relationship that over the course of three to five years diminish and change.

 

But for some reason, we humans believe that love should be perfect.

That these connecting chemicals should ALWAYS be there,

that the energy and excitement of the first kiss is the way that we will remain throughout all of time,

that the person who is standing before us perfect in their skin of today will never change,

that the feelings that we are having will just remain unwavering.

Or that if we do not have all these sudden rushes of ignition but that we do deeply care and connect in all other ways that this is not or cannot be real love.

That it is “ONLY FRIENDSHIP” and we in turn lower it to that level and get frustrated that we cannot find Mr. or Mrs. Perfect that checks all of our boxes on our list of fifty all of the time.

 

And so we remain living in search of something that has been offered to us repeatedly.  Believing that if we explore,

if we open ourselves to the love that is there before us and go as deep as we can with it that we are settling,

we are giving up,

that if they don’t have everything that they are not Mr. or Mrs. Perfect and instead are a waste of our precious time.

 

What we are doing to ourselves in this is denying ourselves the beauty of discovery of love.

 

Love is a quest of self.

Love is about finding out who we really are through our relating with another.

It is about meeting all aspects of self,

and without relationship we will never meet our authentic selves at any depth.

 

When we continue to look for perfection in a mate,

What we are actually saying is that we ourselves are not worthy of our own love until we become PERFECT as well.

 

So how will you ever find Mr. or Mrs. Perfect if you prevent yourself from growing into your whole beautiful self by denying  love to be birthed through a relationship with another imperfect human who is there as your teacher of self love?

 

Chances are your relationship with anyone will not last  in a forever sense.

 

That reality although harsh is still a reality.

We outgrow each other,

and as we change sometimes our mates choose a path of slower or limited growth that creates a breaking point in the relationship,

but if we have come together in friendship and love,

then even the parting is done in the same fashion.

And we each can gain what we need for our own development.

 

It’s time that we start to view relationships and even marriage as the opportunity to explore self and learn to love deeply through the witnessing of another that rivets us deeper into our truth.

 

Love is always perfect.

It is always perfect for the moment that the relationship is in.

It is never easy,

but it can always be in flow with who we are.

 

We create our own obstacles to feeling it by trying to make it perfect in every moment and getting irritated with the reality that love, true love requires each party to grow in connection with self first.

 

Where does your love stand?

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn more about how self-love helps create the grounds to call in your soulmate love today? Reach out to me today for deet’s on 1:1 coaching now.