The case of the mystery flower delivery.

I share this tale with you today, 
because it tells so much of our desire and need to know. 
It show’s how difficult it is to just receive. 
Receive without question.
And to let life be magical, 
and full.

Yes, here I sit on day three of a mystery. 
It is a BIG mystery at that.

Let me share with you the gist and what I have learned in the process.

Friday, like any day, I sat in my writing spot. 
I wrote and people came through my space, 
sharing their day, 
their ideas and challenges. 
I sat there and enjoyed them. 
I enjoyed the moment. 
And when the stillness came, 
I wrote.
While writing the door bell rang, 
my son answered and came back with a lovely bouquet of white roses and lilies. 
He sat them down on my table and I read the note attached.

“I hope this makes an ordinary day, extraordinary! – Signed Me”

My heart smiled. 
As I love getting flowers. 
And I was just thinking how I needed new ones on my table. 
It smiled because with these lovely flowers came a feeling of love. 
I felt desired. 
I felt like someone, 
this Me character, knew what I needed in that moment.
As my days before had been challenging and overwhelming. 
And here was just a breath of air. 
And a very accurate desire to make my ordinary, 
extraordinary.

So whom was the me?
Whom could I give my thanks too?
My heart felt it was one person, 
the flowers before me, 
the bouquet choice, 
seemed to say his name.
And so….
I sent a text in that moment, 
as this person was out of town and state, 
and I sent a text, 
saying “Thank you, you just made me smile.”
It was received, but not acknowledged that it was a comment about the flowers.

And so, 
I persisted.
Like any good woman, 
who wants to know who gifted her. 
Who wants to say thank you.
I persisted. 
I sent a picture. 
with a comment of, “Aren’t they lovely?”
And in response, 
I got “Wow! yes they are. “

After sharing some, it came about that this man claimed not to have sent them my way. 
In shock, 
as it was right up his line of action, 
I found myself on the mystery bus. 
And am still there. 
three days later, 
after asking almost all my old lovers, 
and asking current men I share intimacies with, 
and asking my children and friends, 
clients even, 
I have come up with a loss as to whom, 
sent these flowers.

And why does it matter anyway?
Why do I care so much?

I claim it is because I need and desire to give my thanks. 
And that is partially true.

The reality is, 
outside of the turn on that I have from the courting, 
outside of the smile that it brought me, 
outside of the romantic mystery, 
and I do love a good mystery.
I want to KNOW.
Because I feel like I need to know.

But is that true?
What will it benefit?
What will it do?

Perhaps, the gift of the mystery, 
is in the not knowing.

It is in the surrender.

Perhaps, 
this soul is asking for my surrender, 
and asking me to just receive.

Much like the universe. 
Much like God.

The request is simple. 
Surrender and Receive.

Everything can be yours in so doing this.

But here I sit on day three. 
Looking at my beautiful flowers.

Still smiling.
Still questioning.

And in my questioning, 
I have discovered the answer.

The answer like with anything is always right in front of us. 
Our soul always knows. 
And the clues are right there.

The clues of heart and soul.
Of soul alignment.
Of getting EXACTLY what we ask for.
And just letting it be. 
Be the beautiful, loving act that it is.

Letting that smile be seen.
The surrender be felt.

Yes here.
Here is where I sit.
I sit now, 
still with a lingering question.
But knowing that I am being given my hearts desire.

And that, 
that is all I ever need to know.

My gratitude will reach this “Me” whom sent the flowers. 
It is felt already I am sure. 
And this “Me” with a hidden smile, 
in their knowing, 
I thank for the soul lesson. 
The lesson in receiving. 
The lesson in true giving. 
I feel great respect for this “me”
because they are not needing the pat on the back. 
They are but just holding space.
And in that space they too are receiving.

And so, 
the lesson remains.

Let It Go.
Let it go, and surrender to your receiving.

There is no need to know.
There is no need to thank.
Not verbally.
The gratitude needed comes from the heart.
And this can be felt from any distance.

And now I have a question, 
a question for you, 
and I encourage you to inquire.
As it will change your world.

“Where are you not surrendering to your desire to receive?”

Where are you holding yourself back from all that you want, because you are scared of not knowing what will come?

Let this case of the mystery flower delivery, 
be a lesson to surrender to the mysteries of God’s blessing and those that are used to manifest them.

As Always, 
Stop Existing & Start Living

Want more education, resources and asskickery to help you open up to the gifts of abundance and blessing all around you? Grab some 1:1 coaching now. 
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The Ego of Prayer

“I’ve been praying.

I have been praying but it does not seem that my prayers are being heard.

They must be falling on deaf ears, or heaven has shut its gates to my plea.
I am in such need.

I am fearful, scared, and uncertain.


I have fallen to my knees, each and every night.

And asked for guidance, through this difficult time.


I’ve been praying.Lord, please help me.”


You may never want to read my words again, after you read this post.
Just a simple FYI.


I am going to preface this with, I am not condemning prayer.

I am not saying anything of the sort.


PRAYER is POWERFUL.

Prayer is wonderful.

Prayer is NEEDED.


However much like anything though,  it is best when done in perfection,  or as close to it as we can get.


And that is not to say that we cannot be human in our prayer and mess the eff up here and there.


But in order for us to get the answers that we desire,

which is WHY WE PRAY to begin with,

then we MUST do prayer right.


Proper prayer,

is not about the way you fold your hands,

or bow before an alter.


It is not about where you choose to go to pray,

or what faith you choose to follow.


It is not about the forgiveness of sins,

or the asking of such even.


Proper prayer,

is simply about VIBRATION.


When we pray we do so from fear.

We pray from a place of brokenness.

We pray from a belief that we do not have,

that we have done something to deserve this suffering,

that we are not worthy, and MUST ask for forgiveness.

That we must cower before the alter of our choice,

and we must make ourselves small.


We believe that whatever we are needing,

wanting or crying out for is not within our scope.


And so we pray.

We pray for help.


And this sweet one, is not the energy of God. This is not the energy of the divine..

This is not in love or of love.
This sort of prayer is one based in inverted pride.

Therefore ego.


No,this is not how God desires his people to show up.


This is not how we show off God’s power.

Through begging.

Through suffering.

Through bartering.


Eff…. NO!
Proper prayer….

Proper prayer, as stated before is all about VIBRATION.


And vibration starts with your thinking.

Then your feeling.

Yes your emotions that are attached to those thoughts.


Proper prayer should ALWAYS be a prayer of GRATITUDE.


Find gratitude in the things that you have around you,

even if your life is sh*t.


Find gratitude in the life you have been given,

even if you are scared, suffering and lost.


Find gratitude in your struggle,

because it shows you where your work is at.


And that work that it is showing you is nothing more than a change in VIBRATION.


Gratitude is the ONLY proper prayer

.As any other will only lead you to further low vibe thoughts, fears, and concerns.

Thus you will embody suffering through the emotions that you feel based on this belief that it is out of your grasp to be FRUITFUL.


Prayer is about turning it over.

Showing your FAITH.And LETTING GO to GOD.


We do not let go, when we are attaching our inverted pride to any situation. Instead we are owning victimhood and a scarcity mindset.


In order for us to live in grace, abundance and joy, we must let go of our need to control through our fears and wounding.


Thus making every prayer a PRAYER OF GRATITUDE instead of FEAR.


Let God’s power show through you,

by leveling up your prayer life,

and step into CERTAINTY,

where all things are possible,

because God is GREAT.


This is the life of a believer.

And a prayer achiever.


Your VIBE Dictates Your Prayer.


As always, Stop Existing & Start Living


If you are ready to make the leap then reach out to me today. I am running a Christmas special where you get 2-months of coaching for FREE. Check it out and use the SANTAGIFT code in the why you want to work with me HERE

Never Stop Manifesting The Cup of Coffee

About 20+ years ago I started focusing in on the law of attraction.
I wanted to take charge of my manifesting and I wanted to create the life of my dreams.
Having always been spiritually focused,
and enjoying quantum physics for my pleasure reading,
it came to me that this thing known as the Law of Attraction might be worth investigating.
After all there was a history of exploration around it.
Anyone who has ever read Think and Grow Rich, or any of Napoleon Hill’s work as well Earl Nightingale, Dale Carnegie or Norman Vincent Peale just to name a few greats, I am sure would agree that there must be something to this law.

Through the course of time,
I have had many a positive and a negative experience with the law. The thing that I have had the toughest concept with was personal responsibility.

Yes responsibility.
We are each responsible for what is coming into our manifestation zone.
What we are attracting to us.
It is difficult to take responsibility for the crap that manifests in our lives.
I am sure that you would agree.
It is hard to look at these things and say with certainty and even enthusiasm,
“Yes! I did that. – I attracted that. – I own it.”

I mean how often do we want to own the random flat tire,
the hot water heater blowing up, the car accident, the personal injury, the job or relationship loss?

We never want to own these things.
yet this is where the power of our manifestation is seen and we MUST pay attention too.

I will even go to the level that we should be excited about the sh*t that manifests,
as it shows us that we are manifestors.
And damn good one’s at that.

Owning our power means that we do not ignore any manifesting that we have going on for ourselves.
It means that we have to be just as full of gratitude for the free random coffee that we manifested to the flat tire.

It is all us.
It all came from our thought vibration.
And this is where we learn our truth.

Are you sitting there, reading this and agreeing?
or are you disagreeing?
It does not matter BTW.
It just is.

That is the thing about universal laws.
they don’t care if we believe in them or not,
they still happen according to their design.
It is up to us to become conscious and start making use of them to our consistent benefit ( manifesting what we perceive as positive) or remain unconscious and just let the cards fall will they will.

It is up to each of us.

However, if we choose to CLAIM OUR LIVES,
if we choose to move forward toward the F-ck Yes! Life,
then we MUST become conscious of this law.
We must start to own all of our manifestations,
not just those that feel good to us.

I so often hear people say,
“So I started using the law of attraction 5 years ago.”

LOL….
This cracks my ass up.

“Started using…”
Honey, you were born using the law of attraction.
You use it every moment of your life.
You use it in your waking hours,
you use it in your sleeping hours.
You use it when you are pooping,
when you are eating,
when you are having sex,
or an argument.
When you are paying your bills,
or when you are on vacation.
There is NEVER a moment that you are not using the law of attraction.

It is about THOUGHT VIBRATION.

And if you “think” you are “thinking the right thoughts” but crap just keeps manifesting in your life,
then guess what?

YOU ARE STINKING THINKING.

It is not rocket science baby.
It is a universal law,
a law that is based on the frequency that your thoughts are sending out.
That is it.

The ONLY other component that matters to it,
is how you feel about these thoughts.

The emotions attached to these thoughts.

If you are sold hook line and sinker on the fact that you will always be living pay check to pay check,
or that you will never find love,
or you will never have the body you want,
or whatever it is that you are CERTAIN that you cannot have,
then guess what baby?
You are right.

And feel that feeling,
that sensation in your body as you think about not having it.
Feel that anxiety,
that sadness,
that disappointment,
that anger.

If you are waking with a subconscious thought that is affirming that you cannot have,
and you wake with one of these sensations,
then it should just make sense that you not manifest ANYTHING other than things that support these feelings.
So you pour hot coffee on yourself,
you break a dish,
you scratch the side of your car,
your shoes don’t feel right,
you feel bloated,
etc.
etc.

The opposite is true to though luv.

If you wake with a feeling of gratitude,
a feeling of love in your heart, ‘excitement for the day,
for life and all that you can make happen.

If you feel into how good it feels to wake up,
and KNOW that you are the CREATOR of your world,
that you are so supported.

So very supported.
The whole universe wants to give you what you want.
What you are VIBING TOO.
So all you have to do is BE HAPPY.
And more things that make you happy will manifest like magic into your world.

F-ck YES!!!!!!

This is the F-ck Yes!! Life that I coach on.
This is what I help people every day achieve.
This is the life that I wake to daily,
and if I don’t then I consciously make up my mind to change my VIBE ASAP.

Today,
today is like any other.
Today I woke,
I was tired, but I stretched and said my gratitudes before my feet hit the ground.
I moved on through my moments of motherhood,
of taking tired kids to school,
I dealt with my ex and christmas items,
I looked at some bills,
and I drove in rush hour traffic to take my daughter almost 2 hours away to state testing for homeschool.

And you know what?
I walked into the conference space that her testing was at,
fifteen minutes early,
I laughed and connected with the ladies who were setting everything up for the students and a few moments later,
one of the women said,
” Excuse me mam, would you be interested in a white mocha latte from Starbucks? It is untouched. I ordered it on accident for someone who is not here. Do you want it?”

F-ck Yes!!!!
A small manifestation.
But showing where my VIBE is.

I said yes and gave my thanks.
I opened to receiving.

I said yes.
And gave gratitude. (KEYS to receiving more)

often in the start of awaking to the law of attraction,
we are told to just go manifest a cup of coffee.

I want to say,
NEVER STOP MANIFESTING THAT CUP OF COFFEE.

Your belief of your power starts and is consistently supported here.

So what will you manifest today?

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

If you are ready to make the leap then reach out to me today. I am running a Christmas special where you get 2-months of coaching for FREE. Check it out and use the SANTAGIFT code in the why you want to work with me section. HERE

Stop Gripping Your THING.

What are you holding on for?
Why won’t you just simply let go and let it flow?
It really is not that difficult.
But NO….

No, there you are fighting it.
There you are hanging on because you cannot let go.
You say that you are in flow,
you say that you got this alignment thing down.
You say that you are feeling good about it.

Blissed out!
Right?

WRONG!!!

Don’t be trying to fool the world,
cuz’ the world sees you.
You know how you are seen?
Through the eye’s that you see yourself with,
this is how the world sees you too.
It’s in your walk,
it’s in your talk,
your body language,
how you sit,
how you shake hands,
the faces you make,
the tone of voice you have.

You think no one can see that constriction?
LOL

Okay.

Whatever.

Let’s be real,
let’s have some respect for each other and self here,
and just state the facts.

You are scared that if you let go,
and let life catch you,
that you just trust that God has your back,
that you will fall.
That you will fail.
That you will die somehow.

You feel the pain,
the suffering right now,
from this fear.

Don’t you?

I mean look here it is the day after Thanksgiving,
it’s the coming of the end of the year.
The holiday’s are upon you,
the demands are many,
the fininances required to make it through the next 30, 45, or 60 days is massive.
You have choices.
You can go into debt some more,
you can just say,
“No, I am broke, I can’t.”
You can ignore the whole damn thing and drink,
or you can figure out a way to make sh*t happen.

And you want to make sh*t happen.
You want to have a killer holiday season.
You don’t want it to be last year,
or the last ten years.
You want it be fantastic.

You want to wake up on Christmas morning to the faces of your loved one’s and feel good,
you want to experience the love,
the joy,
the excitement.

You want to feel proud.

Don’t you?

But what will it take?
What will it cost you?

Money?
Time?
Energy?

Yeah, all of that is true.
The real cost though is not these things.
The real cost is something far greater.
The cost is why you are not doing it yet.
Why you feel that tugging in your gut,
that constriction in your chest,
that anxiety,
the reason why you are not sleeping so well,
the reason why you are drinking more,
the reason you are distant,

YES.
That is the reason.
That is the THING.

And you know the THING.
The THING that is bringing you the suffering.
That premature suffering for things that have not manifested yet.

Yeppers, that is it.

So why are you giving yourself,
your life to this THING?

Oh you say you have too.
You say that if you let go of that THING that you would perish for sure,
you say that focusing in on this THING is what is going to guarantee you not to experience it?

Mmmmmmmm- Hmmmmmmmmm….

Okay.
Whatever you say.

And with that we have the truth.
It is whatever you say,
REPEATEDLY…
In your own f-cking head.
Yes, that is what shall be.

And what are you saying?
Oh, you are worried about that THING are you.
That beast that you have yet to come up against.
That event that will take you out,
destroy you,
well NEWS FLASH!!!!!!!

It already has destroyed you.

Look at you.
You are stressed out to the max,
and all over that THING that has not happened,
and guess what most likely an 80% + chance that it won’t ever happen either.

But it has already knocked you down.
Because you are sitting around agonizing over IT.

Yes.
So STOP that Mother F-cking Sh*t,
and LET GO.

Instead,
go DO-BE-HAVE the life that you know you crave.
It is all up to you.
It is all up to where you choose to apply your focus.

You want the glass to be half empty,
then so be it.
And you know what that will get you…
the same thing you have been suffering through already.

Or….
You can opt to look at all that you have,
all the blessings,
all the joys,
all the love,
all the abundance.

It is all over you.
If you will just open up to it.
So change that stinking thinking,
and EMBRACE your TRUTH.

The CHOICE is up to you,
It always has been.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebookfor my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

Perfect Moments.

Perfect moments.
We all have them.
We all want more of them.
And we often miss them when they are before us.

We miss them because we look for non-perfect moments more than we do perfect ones.
And just like miracles,
which happen frequently,
we believe that they are hard to come by,
and only catch the one’s that shoot off fireworks right in front of our face.

Perfect moments,
yes, this is what my topic of today is on.
As I sit here on this beautiful morning looking over the ocean and the cliffs in front of the plateau am resting on,
the Jamaican sun rises behind me,
a cool tropical breeze blows across me,
There is no one out here currently,
it my little private spot in Jamaica for the moment.

I breathe in this moment,
as I find gratitude for it,
and gratitude for the moments of yesterday.
The souls that crossed my path,
the moments that could have gone one way but went another,
the experiences,
the laughter,
the times of not knowing what to expect,
and breathing into the opportunity for life to bring me something.

Perfect moments.
They are all around us.
If we let them reveal themselves,
we find that they are like lost lovers from our past that we wish we could have another moment with,
they come to us,
they come to us with the expectation to embraced,
they come to us with the desire to awakened in our arms,
they come to us wanting to be seen,
and provided the space,
the awareness to show themselves.

They want us to bask in them,
to taste them,
to dance.
But these perfect moments,
we miss.

We miss the opportunities that they carry with them out of the fear of opening the door to something that we are uncomfortable with,
or the belief that we are not worthy of a perfect moment.
Just like so often we belief that we are not worthy of a perfect lover,
or a perfect financial increase,
or perfect health,
or perfect work.

We carry with us in place of all that tries to make itself known the concept that these things are hard to come by.

The idea, that they are not for us.
They are for the special people,
and that is often not us.

But here is the thing I want to share with you this amazing morning,
the thing is that perfect moments are your reality.

Miracles are your reality.
Opportunities are your reality.
Perfect lovers,
Financial abundance,
Incredible health,
and so much more,
all those things you desire and crave that are good and fulfilling are your reality.

The way to have them manifest consistently for you is through your expectation of them.

You MUST EXPECT.
You MUST KNOW and have clarity around them.
You MUST change your belief structures around what you call into your life,
and this means that if you want to be lucky in life,
then proclaim that you are lucky.
And when your vibration,
your expectation is in alignment and turned on to that that you desire,
it WILL just come to you.
Or maybe I should say you will come to it.
Because it is YOU,
not it that must bring your vibration into alignment.
You will never get what you desire to change its frequency,
It just is.

So what is it that you want in your life?
What do you want to start claiming in this perfect moment for your life?

Know that you are the BOSS BABY!
You always have been and you will never not be.
This world will bend for you,
it will manifest your desires,
and you can always tell where the perfect moments are,
by staying tuned into your vibration,
your flow.

Listen to your heart.
Allow yourself to feel.
And that means to feel the moment.
The perfect moment,
even if it appears to be a perfect storm, ‘it is offering to you of itself,
that which will guide you to the next opportunity,
a step closer to all that you want,
as long as you are in tune to it and willing to see.

Create your desired life today.

Claim it Baby!
You are worthy of a perfect moment.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

Proceed in Gratitude and Grace.

Capitol’s Log
One tequila.
Two tequila.
Three tequila.
Delete.
 
Yeppers that just happened.
So here I sit in Florida at the Casa Noble bar,
I spent the last hour writing an amazing share on travel,
on how it brings forth our authentic selves, ‘our authentic fears,
programs,
expectations and so much more.
I sat here, chatting with airport staff,
with travelers,
and my travel partner.
And I wrote a great article for you.
 
But you will never see it.
Nope this you will not.
Because of tequila.
and a accident with my fingers.
 
Thought I was copying when I was cutting.
Woops.
 
For a moment I was frustrated.
For a moment I was disappointed.
For a moment my ego held me.
It held me in it’s ego grip and it made me mad.
 
I felt stupid.
I felt like a mess up.
 
And then I breathed a little deeper into myself.
Into this moment,
and I laughed.
 
Realizing that accidents happen,
and all this happen for a reason.
 
I laughed it off.
And I went pee.
 
I got a break from my computer screen.
I took a break from what I thought I should be doing,
I took a break from the energetic demands that I had put on myself,
and I allowed myself to just breathe into the reality,
that it was okay.
 
Sure it was a good article.
It was a valuable share.
It was something that you would have liked.
And it was raw, real and from my heart.
It was my noticing’s.
And it was sharing how important travel is for our development as human beings.
 
It was revealing the truth on how travel show’s our truth, through the many issues that can happen when we travel.
 
How we deal with life as it emerges before us.
My noticing’s of fellow travelers,
their stress,
their drama,
their excitement.
 
And as I sit here at my layover to Jamaica,
I watch the people.
I watch all that they have to share with all those that they never will see again.
And those that they cherish.
I watch and I listen.
And what comes to play is our ego.
 
And funny enough,
as soon as I get done writing and get ready to post,
I have a mishap myself and delete my whole post.
 
OMFG!!!!
 
And what am I greeted by?
My ego.
Stepping up to the plate of life withing a 10th of a second.
Here I am.
Here I am to share my frustration.
My disappointment.
 
Here I am.
Don’t you want to merge with me?
Don’t you want to explore this faulse-hood that I want to paint for you?
If you had not drank that last tequila drink,
you would not have effed up.
If you had been more present,
you would have been on top of your game.
But no,
no, you effed up Kendal.
You hit the wrong button on your key pad and lost it all.
 
So do I let ego rule me?
Do I let it cause disappointment?
Do I let it sink it’s teeth into my moment?
 
F-ck NO!!!!!
 
It is moments just like this,
where the feeling of time lost,
moments lost,
shares lost,
disappointment,
frustration,
and whatever else might rise comes in that I am grateful for.
 
Gratitude for the experience of ego.
Gratitude for the presence to witness it.
To know that I have a choice.
Gratitude for the expansion if I so choose to allow it,
by not leaning in toward all that could mess up my day,
could make me feel bad about myself,
Gratitude that I give myself some grace.
In moments like this,
and many others,
that is what we need GRACE.
 
We are each but human,
and in our humanness,
we make mistakes,
we f-ck up left and right.
We hurt others,
we fumble the ball,
we delete masterpieces,
and we have a choice.
 
We have a choice to scold ourselves,
to blame and shame,
or to proceed in love and trust.
 
With gratitude and grace.
 
One tequila,
Two tequila,
Three tequila,
Delete.
 
Yes.
These are the moments that meet ourselves.
How do we react?
How do we choose to proceed?
How quickly can we bound back from our mistakes?
 
Ego,
will grab a hold of us if we let it.
It will rule us and shame us.
It will have us believe that being human is evil and a sin just for breathing,
but it is always our choice as to what we choose to do with our experiences.
 
It is our choice,
to lean into ego’s arms,
or into the love and compassion,
the grace of God and our souls.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
Join me later TODAY for LIVE Global Facebook training from the beach in Jamiaca while I teach Entrepreneurs who want to have it all how to take it from zero to $100k and more quickly.
 
This is the foundational training that anyone who is in business for themselves,
who wants to take their side hustle to a center stage hustle,
who wants to take their business from where ever you are to the next level.
 
Let me share with you the skills,
mindset, and so much more it takes to have a business that can rock you into 2019.
 

The Goddesses Dragon – My Tale of Surrender to the Masculine

He wants my surrender.
I can feel it at my greatest depths.

He wants me fully.
Open and inviting to his everything.
He wants my surrender,
and he is willing to work for it.
He is willing to take the journey into the depths of my being,
where he will uncover my hidden treasures,
which I fear may seem like dragons,
yet he assures me in his holding,
that he does not want to slay my dragons,
he only want to bask in their beauty,
he wants to sit with them in moments of stillness,
and he wants to just take them in.

He wants to see their beauty,
that beauty that only a deep understanding of love can handle,
that beauty that is so revealing of the soul.
Most are not strong enough within themselves to face this beauty,
this light,
this power,
the dragon.

Most fear being devoured by it.
What they begin in the courting process admiring from a afar,
they end with wanting to own and control.
Because it scares them.
It is wild,
it is fierce,
it is powerful beyond measure,
and desires to conquer the hearts of its admirers.

Few are able to hold themselves,
within the presence of this beast.

But, every now and then,
a gentleman comes about,
makes himself known,
and smiles in the presence of the magic he has found in caverns of the goddess.

And this gentleman,
this gentleman,
ignites the goddesses soul.
Sets it on fire.

And she desires to dance for him.
She desires to open herself for him,
and let him in.

Yet she is scared beyond measure,
her past tells of beautiful love saga’s,
intense love and loss.
She is fearful to become vulnerable with this man.
Because of the pain,
the pain that her heart will endure.
Yet she desires it all.
The love and depth,
are worth the pain.
Are worth the standing before her own dragon,
and smiling within its flames.

She know’s that this man,
is rare, and unique.
That he is one who can hold her fire.
At least for a time.
And she wants to surrender.
She craves the intimacy.
She craves the revealing.
She craves the integrity.
And the opening.

Physically.
Mentally.
Emotionally.

She leans in.
And she drops into his arms,
resting in his strength.
Resting in his admiration.
She let’s her emotions be seen.
She laughs,
she cries,
and she opens a bit more.

This cavern is deep.
And she realizes,
that her dragon is not to be feared.

She now understands what this gentleman has known,
the fire of her dragon will not harm when lifted in love,
it will only light the way to more caverns for them to explore.

Explore together.
The depths of their souls.

And so she looks at the gentleman,
with tears streaming from her eye’s,
and she say’s yes to the opening.

They lay together, enwrapped in the moment,
and they smile.

Blessed be to all of you who read this and venture into the depths of the goddesses caverns with hearts on fire,
and souls ignited.

Be wise in your journey and know that the dragon is there to protect the goddess from those that are unworthy,
and there to guild those who are,
into her surrender.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

Morning Alignment & Other Gratitude’s

 

Today I wake feeling so effing blessed.
So loved and supported.
So incredibly excited.
Vulnerable and open.
Today I wake fully alone in my bed,
in my home.
Not another human is here.
First time in almost a decade that I have had this experience at home.
My home is quiet,
Still and at peace.
The smell of sweet orange and cassia drift through the air,
The sun makes it way through my partially opened blinds as is greets me for this day,
Saying you are aligned.
Feel.
Feel your alignment by feeling how good you feel in this moment.
Notice your turned on, tapped in sensation.
The awe and gratitude of this morning.
You can almost feel heaven smiling as your heart says YES.

Mmmmmmm…..
Yes.

This is alignment.
This is a moment.
A moment to cherish.
To lean into and expand.

And so,
I stand in my kitchen,
Drinking my morning coffee,
Listening to Abraham Hicks,
And smile.
As the message is that of support.

Mmmmmm…
Mushrooms and onions saute in coconut oil.
Spinach wilting.
Eggs frying.
Sprinkle on some herb goat cheese and enjoy.
Side with something naturally sweet,
Strawberries.

Mmmmmmm…..
Yes.

Yes here is the moment.
Breathe it in.
Savor it.
Enjoy it.

And allow it to be the moment that carries.
Into the next.
And the next.

This is alignment.
It is the feeling.

That’s all it is.
All it ever is.
That pulls us into what we want.

The savory.
The sweet.
The rich.
The complex.
The bubbly.
Everything.

And when you want it all.
And know with certainty that is always available.
Then these seemingly small moments are no longer insignificant but instead powerful.

Because they share our truth around our alignment.
There is no hesitation.
There is so frustration.
There is no edginess.

There is just allowing.
Embracing.
And enjoying.

Of the moment.
And so it is.
And always can be.

When we let go.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start

Join me November 18-21st for my 3 day intensive online workshop.
Ass In The Sand – Facebook Live Workshop for Entrepreneurs Who Want It All
If you are an entrepreneur and you want to know how to take your biz from zero to $100k quickly, for real – then this intensive class is for you.

Learn More and Register HERE.

Crazy F-cking Gratitude + One Wild Ride.

I am so f-cking grateful.

Are You ⁉️⁉️

I sure the f-ck am.
Today I was driving home from the furniture store where I was buying a new couch for my front room plus bedroom furniture for my munchkins jungle themed room that if I can swing will look like a mini Rainforest Cafe,

And as I was driving I found myself in total gratitude for so many things.

I also found myself laughing out loud,
alone in my car,
over how crazy my year has been.

I mean really f-cking crazy.

Anyone who has been following me know’s the tales of this year but if you are new to the story line,
LET ME CATCH YOU UP…..

Started the year tripling my income after coming out of 2017 with massive emotional stress of figuring out how best to support my aging mom with dementia and all that comes with that.

Then entered the month of love (February) with my heart getting crushed from a man I never thought could ever take me to the low’s that he did in saying good bye abruptly.

Turned around and got my heart and body crushed by my other main man ( as you may have figured out, I am a polyamorous sorta girl on some days or years, and these two gents were my two leading men).

Had a pushed move into a new home, which I manifested in less than three days.

Found myself in a new neighborhood.
New home.
72 hours after a shocking experience.

Then had to deal with a summer of custody issues,
legal battles.

And had to buy a new car.
Furnish a home.
Heal my body.
Stay afloat.
And keep on coaching my beloved clients.

In the process of all of this,
my three eldest children ( age 23, 21 and 19) who were living in Maui moved home and needed to stay with me.

My eldest daughter conceived her first baby while in Maui,
So through all of this,
walking my baby girl through pregnancy as well.

Friendships have been tested.
Intimate relationships have been tested,
some new ones have been birthed,
some old one’s have been reignited in different ways.

And at the end of this day,
I find myself sitting here at my new breakfast nook table,
with my house under construction,
furniture being delivered tomorrow,
my baby boys coming home to me tomorrow,
my house not upside down,
but merging with the energy that I want.

I find my romantic life,
not healed or longing for what was,
but ignited to what can be.
And excited about the souls that have entered my world.

I find myself looking at my family,
as it shrinks in one way,
and expands in another.
Some children move out,
some are here,
some come and go according to a schedule that just is right and best for them and the situation,
while a grand baby ( a baby boy 😊) grows in my daughters womb.

I look at my business,
in its ebbs and flows of this year,
that impress and scare me.
Not because of a low,
but because the low is far higher than my high of last year. 🔥🔥🔥

I look at my life.
I look at my life.
Awe..
Yes in awe.

And my eye’s tear up.
I still feel all of the pain,
all of the trauma.

There is still much to heal.
Much to let go of.

And I SMILE.
In gratitude.
I sit here.

Knowing how f-cking blessed I am.
In gratitude I sit here.
Because sometimes the path to something better,
is painful beyond measure.

Sometimes the path to what we truly desire,
Is birthed on a road of loss and turbulence.

Sometimes the things that will bring us fully into who we are meant to be,
only come about because we had to grow ourselves through the storm that we were lost in.

Sometimes,
Yes, sometimes….

(and so it is in life, that the sometimes is actually most of the time.)

But you know what makes it all better?
You know what can set one out from the crowd?
You know what keeps you in alignment to all that you want,
all that you desire,
all that you know is on the other side?

GRATITUDE.

#1 KEY SECRET to manifesting miracles.
Living a happy life.
Being turned on.
And having it all, even in the storm.

IS GRATITUDE.

I had gratitude the morning I looked in the bank and my account had $32k in it – OVER NIGHT.

I had the same gratitude when the man I was deeply in love with said his goodbyes.

I had the same gratitude when my partner physically assaulted me.

I had gratitude when I paid the attorney.
I had gratitude when an old lover said he wanted to see a smile on my face.
I had gratitude when a new lover shared his heart with me.
I had gratitude when a dear friend told me I am the reason he is alive.
I had gratitude when my friend screamed in her pain at me.
I had gratitude when my daughter told me I was going to be a grandma.
And I had gratitude as I crumbled under the stress.
As I looked in my kindergartner’s eye’s as he screamed how he hated me, when I told him he had to change schools.

And so many more moments over this year.

GRATITUDE.
I am f-cking grateful.

Are you?

I encourage you to take a moment RIGHT NOW,
write down 20 things that you are grateful for.

Read them 3x.
and then repeat this process every morning and every night for 30 days.

See what manifests in your life.
See how you feel about your life.

And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

Join me November 18-21st for my 3 day intensive online workshop.
Ass In The Sand – Facebook Live Workshop for Entrepreneurs Who Want It All
If you are an entrepreneur and you want to know how to take your biz from zero to $100k quickly, for real – then this intensive class is for you.
Pre-registration coming out this next week.
Look for it or message me to get on the pre-launch list.

The only question any morning is…

One of those mornings where it’s to freaking’ cold to get out of bed.

Where I just find myself not wanting to even venture to the bathroom to pee.

Brrrrrrr….

Talked Levi my 12 year old son into going downstairs and making mom coffee.
Such a sweet boy.
He made it, brought it up to bed side and kissed my forehead as he asked if he could snuggle after school with me some and then left to make it to class on time.

Yes it is one of those mornings.

It is one of those mornings, where I feel hormonal, tired and non-productive. My lower back is aching and my ovaries are screaming at me.

I can feel my energy drained even though I have not even started my day yet.

I can feel my temperament a little off as well.
I am sensitive.

Yes it is one of those mornings.

It is one of those mornings, where I lay here focusing in on my gratitude’s in life, on the blessings and the joys. I snuggle under my covers and think of all the beauty God has given me. The opportunity and the love.

I am grateful.
Yes it one of those mornings.

It is one of those mornings where my Our Family Wizard buzzes and I see that my baby daddy has messaged me bright and early, thinking our son is still ill like yesterday, I open the message to see what’s up and discover that I have a boundary being pushed on. That his desire is to control my world and dictate my day to me despite what I have already shared. My ego flares and my heart aches. Fear rises up inside of me as I feel suddenly overwhelmed and lost in life.

Yes it is one of those mornings.

Brrrrr….

It is a day of turning inward.
It is a day of standing up.
It is a day of honoring my body.
It is a day to remain present.

Like every day.
It is a day in life.

And the truth behind today,
is nothing greater than the truth of yesterday or a day last week or last year.

It is just a day.

Perhaps you have noticed that in life we are always offered many options as to how our day will unfold.
Thus how our week,
our month,
our year
and our lives,
will unfold.

It comes down to the thoughts we choose to attach too.
It comes down to the games we decide to enter into with our ego’s.
It comes down to what we choose to focus on.

This is what makes all the difference.

I am often asked, ” But how do I stop thinking about this or that? It’s so bad, so stressful. It worries me. I am fearful of it.I cannot just not think about it.”

No you may not be able to stop the thoughts from coming through.
You may still feel the concern, the worry, the fear.
But here is the truth,
YOU and ONLY YOU make the choice to focus on it or not.
You are the one who chooses to attach to that thought, to that emotion and allow it to guide and even control your actions, your future thoughts, your future feelings and your life.

If you want to live a Freedom Based Life,
If you want to wake up every morning and feel in charge and in harmony with life,
In flow with your life and purpose.
And most importantly in love with who you are and where you are.

Then you must let go of the need to attach to these unsupportive thoughts.

You must let go of the idea that you are a victim to the thoughts.

Or a victim to anything.
You must let go of the idea that someone else or something outside of yourself has any control of how you choose to show in life,
to feel,
to think.

If you want a F-ck Yes Life!

And baby you deserve this.
Then you HAVE to LET GO!
You have to KNOW that the only thing you can ever do,
is stay present and do everything within your power to focus on what makes you feel good.

This is your ONLY work.

So yes….

It is one of those mornings.
It is a morning of snuggles,
a morning of sweet gestures,
a morning of love and kindness,

It is a morning of hormones,
of back aches and fatigue,
a morning of frustration,
of ego trying grab hold,

It is a morning of gratitude.
It is a morning of power.
It is a morning of self-love and acceptance.

It is a morning where once again the opportunity to Claim the life we want is at our bedside.

The only thing to decide this morning is,
Am I F-ck YES or a F-ck NO.

Will You Embrace Your Power and Claim Your Freedom Based Life?

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

Join me for 5 Intensive Weeks in a LIVE Global Facebook Workshop Starting October 22nd, 2018. Where I show you how to Embrace Your Power and Claim Your Life. Learn how a single mom of seven developed the skills to go from fear and scarcity, making $17k a year to abundance and joy making a multi-six figure income a year.

I will be sharing mind shift strategies that I have adapted through the years to manifest the Freedom Based Life that I now live today.

Limited Workshop Spot’s due to the 1+1 Private Focus Sessions that come with this workshop.
Grab Your seat now for

Embrace Your Power – Claim Your Life
“5 Step’s to a Freedom Based Life”