Who Have You Chosen To Be?

WHO HAVE YOU CHOSEN TO BE?
This is a question I believe that we all need to ask of ourselves.
Especially at this time in our world.
On my left thumb I wear a ring with Ghandi’s quote,
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Imagine if we all came at life from this perspective that Ghandi shared so many years ago?
Imagine we started to ask,
are we spreading love and compassion, understanding and grace or are we spreading fear, hatred, control and darkness to our fellow humans and this beautiful world of ours?
How would our actions change?
How would we start to view ourselves and others?
How would we feel about who we were?
It’s always a choice.
Each of us no matter our backgrounds, have choices.
We all have the ability to change what we are thinking and how we are relating.
We all have the ability to be proactive or reactive.
We all have the choice to be kind and act, speak and feel from a place of love (God, soul) or to cast out evil from our lips and actions while swimming in a pool of negative based thinking.
These things NO ONE,
NO GOVERNMENT,
Nothing can steal from us.
And if we started to come at life from this perspective instead of the control based thinking out of fear of others not doing what we deem right or wrong,
or our fear of losing,
or our fear of not having enough,
or being too much,
then perhaps we would actually see the changes in the world that we want so badly for.
Because what are we all wanting for truly?
*Happiness
*Health and wellbeing
*Safety
*Community
*Peace
*Love
*Abundance
*No suffering
But here we are,
fearing that we will not have these things and hating on our neighbours and family if they think or feel differently then we do.
And as we sit in our hatred and fear,
throwing stones at each other and wanting to be understood,
refusing to listen to each other or feel how desperately our fellow human is only wanting for the same as us,
just saying it from their vantage point,
we become part of the problem.
We feed the fear.
We feed the hatred.
We feed the separation.
We feed the hell that is rising up that we all are so terrified of.
And as we fear it we attract more of it into our world and lives.
And as we stand in our fear,
on all sides of the coin of difference,
each side proclaiming they believe, they have faith, they are focused on the truth, that the truth will set them free, etc, etc….
What are we actually focused on?
Who are we choosing to be in these moments?
People of FAITH?
People of COMPASSION and KINDNESS?
People with OPEN MINDS?
People that are SOUL ALIGNED?
People who LOVE THEMSELVES? or others?
People who believe in FREEDOM?
Or are we faithless, fearful, control hungry, out of alignment, closed minded, hateful, judgemental, critical, and thinking that freedom can only be served up according to our rules and guidelines or its not right?
I write this message today to ask you to inquire within yourself these questions and to be honest with yourself.
You will NEVER know the truth until you can find it within first, and this means that you have to love yourself enough to embrace your shadows and get vulnerable in who you really are and that you are fearful.
Because we all have fear right now.
We are all blind in some way.
We are all lost to a degree.
And in shock.
But warring has never made any problem go away.
It has only made the fire bigger.
And this fire has been burning for centuries already.
It is the problem of fear.
It is a tool that controls our spirit and separates us from our truth,
from our worthiness and ability to see clearly and love unconditionally.
Who are you choosing to be?
And where are your thoughts taking you?
Be the change you wish to see in this world by starting with loving yourself first.
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

THIS is My Tagline To Life and HERE IS WHY.

“CBD lovin’, anti-vaxxing, interracial family, sexually open and confident, slutty AF some may say, freedom focused, excepting of all.”

 

THIS is my lifestyle tagline.

THIS is my family tagline.

THIS is my belief’s tagline.

 

And why would this be my tag line?

Because I believe in freedom of speach, love, sex, religion,choices in life and believe that no matter who you are, ( race, religion, polical views, sex, sexual preferences, economic standing or other) that WE ARE ALL WORTHY.

 

Worthy of what you may ask?

 

Worthy of  living.

Not just existing.

Worthy of all the things stated above.

Worthy of having our own opinions.

Worthy of not being shamed or stoned by others ideas, judgements, opinions or fears.

Worthy of just being us.

 

Many disagree with me on many topics.

And the thing that comes through the most in the conversations and debates is a desire to shush me.

To the point that recently I was multiple times told that I was a bad citizen for my views, that I was not compassionate and did not care for others, that I was a horrible human being, that I should shut up, and that if I get sick to not waste the medical systems time but to just die at home.

 

All of these statements came because of a disagreement in ideas and beliefs.

 

Differences of views.

 

All of these stones thrown had the strong feeling of wanting to shame, control and silence what did not align to their beliefs and views of current.

 

And as I read through comments of over a hundred plus,

I found myself sitting in gratitude for these individuals’ truth shares.

 

I am not a person that has an issue with seeing things differently then the masses,

differently then my lover, my child or my friend.

And I know that my views on life are a far cry from average and ordinary.

 

And it is beautiful to me that we humans are so diverse in our desires, our feelings and beliefs.

It’s what makes us each so unique.

But typically we deeply fear what is not like us.

What is not common or what we perceive as normal.

Our fear makes us want to eradicate whatever is not perceived the same as us.

 

And this has been our human nature forever.

The reason I do not lay claim to a religion is because religion is a prime example of this belief structure that there is ONLY ONE WAY.

 

I believe that we are all truly children of God no matter our race, belief, sex or preferences.

I believe that the creator moves through us all.

And that our differences are revealing how diverse God truly is.

I believe that “made in his image” does not refer to our race, sex or other but is actaully speaking of the energy, the life and consciousness, the love that resides in all of us.

 

I believe that we are each here to learn from one another and that one of our biggest life lessons is to learn to love our differences.

 

The only way that we can ever do this though is to learn to love ourselves at a deep level first.

To strip ourselves from this concept that we are here to please others ideas, views or beliefs about us.

Self-love comes from seeing our light and darkness and making peace with them both.

Self- love comes from knowing our own value.

Self- love comes from respecting ourselves enough to not sway to the worlds ideas and perceptions, nor to just give up ourselves because we make another uncomfortable with our views and beliefs.

Self- love is mandatory if we are to ever have true unconditional love for any other human as well.

And compassion can only come when we have it for ourselves first.

Same for any positive characteristic that we value such as respect or understanding.

 

If we believe that we are responsible for everyone elses everything and they for our feelings, fears and hopes then all we are showing is our lack of clarity within who we are.

 

To have understanding,

we need to listen,

we need to inquire,

we need to learn to breathe and not be so reactive,

jumping to conclusions.

We need to realize that this person that we want to have understand us,

desires the same.

The majority of our fights in our world and in our own homes comes about because we suck at communication skills.

And the ones listed above are the highlighted ones that need attention from all of us.

 

The radical conversations that are traveling around the world right now are just highlighting the true poison that resides within each of our lives.

 

It is fear.

And it is fear of differences more than anything else.

And so we run around pointing fingers and laying blame on everyone who thinks differently or looks differently proclaiming that we love unconditionally, stating that we are wanting peace, freedom, well being for all but continuing the blame game as we spew out our hatred and lack of toleration or desire to understand our fellow human beings.

 

All the while believing that we love ourselves and that is why we are fighting and hating.

 

When we speak such poison as some of the things I have heard the last few weeks it saddens my soul at how many people truly are lost within themselves and hold so much anger and hatred.

 

When we can get to a point where we can agree to disagree and still love our fellow human despite the difference,

then we will be in a place where we can heal and make true change in our world as well as in our communities and home.

 

But this will only happen when we can learn to love ourselves deeply. To look within ourselves and love all our flaws, all our sins, all our wounds as well as our beauty.

 

Until then,

we will remain lost and hateful.

 

To freedom.

To love.

To all our beautiful differences.

 

Be the change, start loving unconditionally today, ‘starting with yourself.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn more about self-love practices that can transform your reality from average and ordinary to a F-ck Yes Life? Message me today.

 

The Power of Facebook Memories….What it means to your F-ck Yes! Life.

You gotta love Facebook memories.
 
Don’t you?
I mean they make us laugh,
Make us smile,
Make us feel our hearts tug,
Bring up sadness,
Missing,
And appreciation.
 
Facebook memories….
This last weekend I have been off camping in a tipi out in Hawkins Texas. Its been a lovely experience with my youngest two children and boyfriend.
The pictures that are capturing all these fantastic and fun memories are something to be grateful for.
And if you are a scrapbooker like myself,
(Well in truth I have not scrapbooked for a decade, but I take pictures with the concept and image of one day getting them scrapbooked)
 
Then you can for sure appreciate the memories being stored for later creative projects.
 
And then there are those darn Facebook memories…
 
One year ago today….you were at this Jimmy Buffet Concert.
 
Four years ago today…. you were strolling down the beach in Jamaica with your ex.
And you were hiking Dunns Falls and eating lunch at Margaritavil.
 
Seven years ago today…. you were enjoying a romantic dinner and sexy time with another ex that you thought the relationship would last a lifetime with for how in love you were.
 
Eleven years ago…. your children were calling you a hippie mama and you were proud of the title.
 
Lol… just some memories from my life on today.
 
But you know what I noticed?
As I looked through all the pictures….
 
The authentic smiles and connection.
The joy and laughter.
The love.
 
Although fleeting,
And ever changing,
It was there and it is here today as well.
And for this I am grateful 🙏.
 
The people in our storyline tend to change,
As humans can be quiet fickle and our egos and hearts tend to whisk us all about.
 
But when you choose to focus on what matters most,
The love and connection.
The beautiful memories and moments shared,
Then the players in our stories are always perfect.
They are there for a reason in that season of our lives.
And when we can embrace that truth,
It makes our lives so much more fluid and enjoyable.
 
As I looked back on the memories of today over the last decade,
I felt a host of emotions.
I felt my heart expand and sink.
I looked into the eyes of these now strangers,
And asked silently,
What happened here?
I also saw clearly that it was not all bad,
It was not all fake,
It was not time, energy, love, LIFE wasted.
 
Not at all.
It was time shared in love.
And this is my message to you today,
See the beauty of your past and the players in it.
See the love and the life we’ll spent.
Because when you do this…
You capture more of this.
You allow more good times.
You make yourself more available to living in love.
To receiving joy, connection and love.
 
And doesn’t that sound better then looking at those years gone by from a feeling of bitterness, anger and loss?
 
I mean think about what you desire.
Look at what you want for.
Are you living in the energy of it now?
Can you feel it present in your past?
Do you know how to manifest it into your tomorrow?
 
By seeing and feeling it ALIVE in you now.
And looking for the evidence of it in your memories and in the makings of today.
 
Be in gratitude for your memories.
For your storylines and for those who danced the dance with you.
 
It is perfect just the way it is.
As are you.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”
Message me for deets on how to get the most out of your forever and live a F-ck Yes Life now.

The Land Of Nobody…

Good Morning Beautiful!

How did you sleep?

Were your slumbers restful and pleasant or did they have you tossing in your bed?

 

Did you wake refreshed, vibrant and charged for this day or are you among the many of the walking dead,

those who cannot bear the idea of waking because it’s just another groundhog day?

 

Day in and day out,

the same events,

the same stories,

the same people.

 

Waking with a feeling of “why?”

And does any of it,

Especially me, even matter?

 

Looking about your life and questioning if anyone truly cares.

Or are they only there for what you have to offer,

at their convenience.

 

Yes, you know that feeling.

That feeling of,

“Nobody sees me. Nobody loves me. Nobody cares.”

 

This beautiful is the Land of Nobody.

 

And it is not a pretty place to reside.

It is not a place that you can manifest your dreams from,

it will never call into your life your ideal lover,

the money that you crave for,

the health or success.

It will never bear the fruit of happiness.

Because  you see beautiful,

the Land of Nobody,

is a fictitious land that you have created your misery from.

It is a land that you have bought into,

because it is what you feel comfortable in.

 

Oh yes,

I just said that beautiful.

 

The Land of Nobody is one that brings you comfort.

That is a hard pill to swallow I know.

But it is so true.

Just as true as it is that this land will not bring you what you claim you want for,

and most certainly will not bring you what your soul is calling you toward,

and you see THAT is exactly why you are feeling so lost in yourself,

so alone,

so unloved,

so fearful,

so unseen,

unheard,

uncared for or valued.

 

And it is from this place of “UN” that you keep calling in the evidence to support your comfort in suffering.

 

You feel all the “UN” because IT IS NOT TRUE.

 

Your soul KNOWS differently.

Your soul see’s who you really are and what your life has to offer,

but you are withholding yourself from all your glory by focusing in on the finding of the evidence,

the proving to yourself and anyone who will listen,

that you are in the Land of Nobody wants me.

 

And the sad truth beautiful is that as long as you sit here,

focused on the “UN” and the nobody with such passion,

you will NEVER be able to “fix” the problem of what you are manifesting.

 

You will never feel loved.

You will never feel valued.

You will never feel wanted.

 

From this space.

And you will certainly not attract anyone into your world that will “MAKE YOU” feel that way.

 

Because you have created and keep creating a great momentum around not having it show up for you,

that even when the universe/God sends things into your life,

to show you how abundant and loved you really are,

you reject them by looking the other way,

or pushing your will onto life in an attempt to control it and “make it” happen,

thus supporting your need to show that you can’t have it without a fight.

 

Your belief is that life is hard.

That you must suffer.

That you have to work hard to get things that you want.

Your belief is that life is out to get you in some fashion and does not have your back.

 

But that belief is just a thought that you keep active by focusing on finding evidence for it.

 

You “think” it is such and therefore it is.

But you have to change the thoughts in your head,

and the way you are feeling about your life.

You have the WAKE THE F-CK UP.

And start witnessing what could be by putting your focus on that and then not trying to force it into existence.

 

God/Universe does not like being controlled like that,

Does not like having its hands tied,

and if you keep tieing them then you will keep getting what you have been,

because what you want for gets offered day in and day out,

opportunities to have it knock at your door,

but you keep your door locked up tight not allowing the Universe/God to reveal to you your value, your worthiness.

 

So if you won’t let the energy that has created universes to show you a brilliant life worth living and enjoying,

and all your dreams manifesting,

then how the f-ck do you ever expect the people in your life to show it to you?

 

YOU BEAUTIFUL have to open up to it.

You are the only one who can access any of it.

Putting your needs and desires onto others and then getting mad that they won;t do what you want,

when you want,

how you want,

is a self-centered, spoiled, egotistical action.

And will only keep providing you with not having.

 

So if you are among the millions who woke up today,

focused on not having what you want in life,

feeling like you are unloved,

unappreciated,

“UN” somethinged….

 

Then this message is directed at you.

Because I fully understand that feeling of “UN”

that feeling of walking around the Land of Nobody,

and I can tell you that no solution or joy ever came from this place.

 

And we each may venture into this land every now and then,

but it is up to us,

and ONLY US,

venture right back out.

 

So take back your power beautiful,

stop handing it over to the ebbs of your life,

stop looking to not be supported,

and instead KNOW that you are with certainty.

Know that you are loved,

because you love yourself enough to wake the f-ck up and feel it for yourself,

you love yourself enough to stop disrespecting your life,

and instead to open up to it and receive its glory.

 

 

You are worthy beautiful.

You are loved.

You are appreciated and valued.

 

Venture In Certainty for what you want not what you fear.

 

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

Let’s do this!

You and me,

this summer.

Break free from your shiz once and for all and fall in love with the dynamic, powerhouse that YOU are.

No one is like you.

And you have a life worth sharing,

worth enjoying.

You have one life love.

One.

Let’s make it a F-ck Yes! One NOW.

Message me for deet’s on how to do this.

“I love You. Just As You Are.”

 

Bob Marley once said:

“You may not be her first,

her last, or her only.

 

She loved before she may love again.

But if she loves you now, what else matters?

 

She’s not perfect—you aren’t either,

and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh,

cause you to think twice,

and admit to being human and making mistakes,

hold onto her and give her the most you can.

 

She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break—her heart.

 

So don’t hurt her,

don’t change her,

don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give.

 

Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”

 

And he was a wise man in his lyrics.

The Jamaican artist who grew up on the concept of One Love,

and to love without fear,

without reservation,

and condition,

spoke the truth in his words about loving a woman,

but his words ring true in general.

 

His words on love are words that we could all gain wisdom from when looking at relationships in general.

 

Can you imagine a world where we spoke our truth.

Where we told our feelings without expectation,

where we related because that is what humans do…

 

Can you imagine a world where love was not based on what you can do for me,

or I for you,

but on the actual feeling of love.

 

Can you imagine a world where love was not captivated and crucified at every upset in the day,

a world where loving each other was normal and not judged or shamed,

can you imagine a world where we each had respect for self,

compassion for self,

love for self,

and thus could freely offer the same to another.

 

Can you imagine a world where saying “I love you” did not bear with it the weight of marriage, commitment of a lifetime, legal documents or looks of concern.

 

Can you imagine being loved just for being you?

 

This is the love that Marley was speaking of.

This is the message that we all need to hear,

 

and this morning as I sit here and am blessed with the words,

 

“I love you.”

 

I feel called to share the importance that they actually hold.

 

I love you is a statement of acceptance.

A statement of respect and care,

 

I love you means that I do not want to control you,

that I appreciate you JUST AS YOU ARE.

 

I love you means that I am not expecting anything in return,

there are no conditions,

there are no rules or obligations,

 

I love you means that I SEE YOU.

 

JUST AS YOU ARE.

 

And when these words are uttered,

they should not hold the reins on our heart,

they should not be spoken in shame or in fear,

but instead be words that frees our soul.

 

I love you means that I love me too.

Because I could not feel this feeling,

pure and authentically,

if you were not mirroring the love that I feel for self.

 

That is what it is a message of.

When we feel deep love for another,

without control or possession of any sort,

without jealousy or fear of losing,

without expectation,

 

we are feeling true love.

 

And true love can only emerge when we feel the same for self.

Others that we feel this radiance for,

ignite the truth of our souls,

allow us to embrace our bigness,

our beauty, and truth.

 

When love is authentic and not based in need,

It is a sign of who we really are.

 

And at our cores,

WE ARE LOVE.

 

We taste it juiciness.

We bathe in its sweetness,

We dance freely in its light,

and we expand within its breath.

 

Without love life is empty.

And with false love,

control masked as such,

we hunger to hold on,

we fear its loss,

we hand over our power to whomever we deem our point of focus,

and lose who we are.

 

To love someone…

 

You may not be the first person to love them,

or the last,

not even the only one.

 

They have loved before,

they will love again,

But if they are loving you now,

What else matters?

 

They are not perfect – you aren’t either,

and the two of you may never have the perfect relationship together, no matter its label,

but if they make you smile and laugh,

cause you to think twice,

and admit to being human and making mistakes,

hold onto that love and give it the most you have.

 

They may not be thinking of you every moment of the day,

but that love will open you to your life,

that love will offer you something special,

something that you must respect, — your truth.

 

So don’t judge and shame your love,

don’t try and change it,

don’t analyze and

don’t expect more than what is shown.

 

Smile when you are happy,

let your feelings be known, even when mad,

let your words and actions be authentic.

 

Love with your whole being when you receive love,

Know that it is available at any moment,

it is your truth,

there is no such thing as perfect,

but there will always be love,

and it is all that matters.

 

How are you penetrating your life,

this world with your love?

 

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

 

It is time that you say YES to you.

 

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

Here Is Why You Are Not Receiving Your Blessings.

 

Blessings are abound my love,

but you refuse to see them.

 

Your life is expanding,

your fortune is growing,

your soul is speaking to you and guiding you with each breath that you take,

but you my love,

ignore and choose to focus on things of past that do not matter.

You choose to pull forth your fears instead of your blessings and desires.

Why my love?

Why do you insist on living a saga instead of a dream?

Why do you choose to suffer and rage,

to fear and struggle instead just simply letting go of all of those things that you were caught up in yesterday and last month or year,

and instead firmly step into what you want and who you truly are?

 

You question and huff why good things happen to everyone else and not to you,

you fixate on life being hard.

And ignore the blessings and abundance,

the quick manifestation,

the miracles that just seem to happen each day,

you ask for help and it is always there,

always showing up for you and never being acknowledged,

yet you say how important gratitude is to you,

you say that you are awakened,

you say that you are doing your best,

you say so much,

but what you are doing much of is fearing life.

 

And that, that you fear will continue to scare you.

You give it reason,

you give it purpose and strength.

You give it life my love.

And no one on this planet can ever help you out of this drama that you so eagerly keep yourself in.

 

The excuses and reasons,

the finger pointing.

The blame and bitterness,

it is nothing more than resistance to your blessings.

To your worthiness and an ignoring of the glory that is all about you.

 

Today.

And Always.

 

But you turn away.

You close your eyes,

just as you may choose to disregard this message and blame the economy,

the government,

the world crisis,

your health or another human.

you may blame your broken heart,

or your upbringing,

but all of that blame,

yes all of it,

is your resistance to your birth right of worthiness and well being.

 

You were not born to struggle.

You were not born to fear.

You were not born to live in such drama and pain.

 

Wellbeing is who you are.

Wellbeing is what life’s all about,

It is the natural flow of our lives as abundance in all things that we love, and bringing us joy are part of the natural tides of our lives.

 

So why do you resist your nature my love?

Why do you desire so to not live the glory that God wants for you and offers each moment?

Why do you keep fighting for your lack?

 

When all you ever need to do is say yes to your blessings.

Yes to you.

yes to everything that is always being offered to best support and love  you now.

 

Get out of your past failures and fears,

step away from the pain and know that you can put it down,

put your attention on what you want.

Bring your heart into alignment with joy.

Into alignment with love.

And let yourself triumph over the fear of yesterday.

 

You are a king.

You are a queen.

You are the creator of your day.

 

Today.

And Always.

 

So say goodbye to reasons and excuses.

Claim your life now,

the way that it has always been intended.

 

Say Yes — To YOU!

 

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

WATCH – You Want THIS But You Can’t Have It. Remember to like and leave a comment. 🙂

 

 

Take advantage right now of a lifetime opportunity to work with me in my intensive 4 week mastermind where you get to work 1:1 with me to learn the keys that I woke up to back in 2009 and changed my whole life outcome with.  Let me guide you through the weeds and to your garden luv, you know that you desire and deserve it. Let’s make it happen. Message me for deet’s

Happy Easter from My Quarantined House to Yours.

I know this isn’t the Easter we all expected…

And with everything that’s happened it’s easy to get fixated on all that’s gone wrong and created struggle in our world…

But on this Easter Sunday I feel incredibly GRATEFUL.

And I want to wish you Happy Easter from my family to yours.

Here’s one of the Texas blue bonnet family photo-shoot pictures that we took with an incredible local photograher, also my second eldest daughter who does ALL of my pictures for business and family that I want to share with you.

Now I know that not everyone can get out and grab that annual blue bonnet shoot,
in Texas our blue bonnet shoots mean the world to us,
and even this California girl here can appreciate that.

I did want to share this picture because as I sit here and look at it I am filled with love and gratitude and reminded of how our abundance in life is actually created.

It is hard at difficult times such as these in our world to keep a positive outlook,
and Easter certainly does not feel the same as years gone by,
but as I look at this particular picture I am filled with love and joy.

The look in my own eye and expression toward my youngest child, Rowan says libraries worth on the love that my life is abundant in.
And I understand that this abundance is only possible because of certain principles that I focus on consistently.

Abundance in wealth is not just about the dollar bill that lines our pockets,
its about the abundance and wealth that we can have in all areas of our life.
When we can learn to apprecaite and connect to this wealth we open up the gateway to receiving wealth in magnitude in all areas of our lives as well.
It is about the Law of Circulation.
We get back what we put out.
We receive what we are giving to self and to the world around us,
and if we desire to have a more abundant life,
even in times of struggle and hardship then we must increase our vibration.

And we do this with the simple principle of appreciation.
Thi sis among the top foundational blocks to building a life of abunance and wealth in all things.

What we appreciate, apprecaites.
With that in thought,

On this Easter Sunday, what are YOU most grateful for?

HIT REPLY to let me know…

And if you’ve got an Easter Sunday selfie – I’d love to see it 🙂

Wishing you all the best and sending you lots of love.

Kendal, Steve, Samantha, Nico, Damieon, Rebekah, Zak, Jaison, Kai, Andrew, Zach, Juliana, Levi, Gabriel and Rowan

Are You Hiding From The Truth In Your Relationship?

Retraction.
The holding of the breath.
The gripping of one’s fist.
Fidgetting.
 
What we expereince when something is shared that we don’t want to hear.
 
It can be hard to hear our partner speak about what they are feeling. How they are thinking. Or the challenges that they are having in the relationship.
 
It can be terrifying at times and make us question if the relationship will survive.
It can make us feel weak,
defeated, not enough, lost even.
 
When our partner throws a verbal dagger at us,
whether they know it or not,
it hurts.
 
And we find ourselves tossed between gratitude for finding out and a desire to not know any more.
To just make it go away.
 
The gratitude is our soul telling us that this is what is needed,
if our partner had not openned up and shared then that would mean that the relationship was already dead and it was just a matter of time till we discover its corpse.
 
This is what happens frequently however,
so often couples carry on and one partner is blind and deaf to the truth of what state the relationship is in, until it is too late and then they scratch their head in confussion of , “How is this possible, I thought everything was good?”
 
If we lean into the desire to make this pain go away and to not hear it anymore,
we may find ourselves retracting our love to our partner.
We may find ourselves just simply disregaurding what they are sharing and moving along as though it never happened.
Hoping that if we don’t talk about it or give it attention that it will change on its own.
 
This is detrimental to the releationship, however.
Making excuses up as to why you cannot focus on this right now, saying that this is the wrong tme to bring it up, saying that its all in our partners head or that thats not true, are all statements sharing that you do not value your partners feelings, thoughts or heart and that you are more caught up on the gut punch and how bad it was of them to make you feel this or to ask for something.
 
This is also detrimental to the realtionship.
 
The ONLY path to choose in this instance “IF” you desire to keep the relationship that you have and to make it strong and happy again is to PAUSE and listen without denial, without hiding, without excuses or fighting.
 
This is what is referred to as
“holding space.”
 
Coaches and therapist’s do this all the time for their clients.
The answers are often formed through the venting,
the sharing, the allowance of the feeling.
 
As a couple, if you desire to take some bad news shared and turn it into gold, then this is the sapce to start in.
 
If you close the door to the communication,
if you get angered or bitter about the sharing,
if you go into attack mode,
or allow your fear to control,
then you will find yourself pushing your partner further away.
 
Communication is the key to holding a relationship together.
Communication is the key to healing a relationship.
Commincation is the key to building trust, intimacy and love.
 
But communicating means listening without judgement or a need to be right or change what someone else is feeling or thinking.
 
Comminucation also means presenting a safe space where your partner feels permission and safety in speaking what they need and that their words will be heard and acknowledged.
 
Commincation means sharing your truth.
Sharing what you are feeling, fearing, troubled with, needing, not liking, liking, loving.
 
If you want a turned on, empowered relationship then you have to move away from surface level relating.
You must be willing to hear it all and hold that space for self and your partner.
 
You must be willing to offer what is going on with you and INQUIRE about what your partner is expereincing,
 
Most relationships today do not do this.
They believe that they do,
but they don’t.
 
Most relationships accept the answer of,
“I am good. I am fine. We are good.”
 
The simple truth is that relationship requires work, time, energy, truth, compassion,communicating, stepping back from a need to be right.
 
If you don’t take the time right now to share with your partner or to hold space for your partner to share and actually listen to what they are sharing, understanding that every share is valuable, then what you will discover is that your relationship will end.
 
If you claim that you love your partner.
Claim that you love your relationship.
Claim that it is the most important thing to you.
That it and them matter.
 
Then let it be witnessed through your actions of taking the time and making it priority.
 
Without shame.
Without guilt.
Without anger.
Without retraction.
Without accusations.
 
But with LOVE.
 
If you think you don’t have time to do this,
then I promise you that you will find a time that it will not longer beasking for your time.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for 1:1 couples and individual coaching availble world wide and/or group coaching focused on this and more.

Today Give Yourself Permission to Fall In Love.

Giving myself permission to fall in love while in isolation.

Such a beautiful opportunity to come back to self.

To come back to what matters most in this life

and to fully embrace all that I have not yet allowed to manifest.

Can you do the same?

Imagine a world that took this time of solitude,

this time of silence,

this time of moving slower and not rushing here and there,

as an opportunity to fall in love.

To fall in love with SELF first.

To fall in love with all your own little quirks and those things you find fault in.

To fall in love with the things that you find challenging.

To fall in love with your DESIRES.

To fall in love with your hopes and your dreams.

Imagine if you sat with all the things that you think about and made a plan as to what steps you needed to take to open the doorway to you creating the life that you want.

Imagine if you did not JUST THINK about the steps but actually took action on all the ones that you could RIGHT NOW.

Imagine if you looked at the person that you “wish” you could be and that you know that you must become in order to have this life you desire and started to implement just three to five things into your daily practice that would support you fully stepping into this person who calls in those dreams and desires with ease.

Imagine if you took this time to reconnect to YOU.

To step away from the habits that you use to buffer yourself from feeling your truth.

Imagine if you looked past the things that you use to not feel and instead give yourself permission to feel your emotions, all of them.

Imagine if you allowed yourself to do some deep dive inquiry work with yourself to learn who you are right now and what your interests are without the expectations, needs or desires of others.

Imagine if you took some time today and each day to appreciate your body for supporting you the way that it does.

Imagine if you took time each day to connect to the people that you claim matter most to you.

Imagine if you slowed down even more,

and took time without any noise to really appreciate the sky.

The tree’s. The breeze. The sunshine. Nature.

Imagine if you took this time to learn something new.

Imagine if you took this moment that God is offering you and instead of focusing on the fear that the world is stuck in,

YOU…

YES YOU…

Realize your power.

Imagine what your life today could be like.

What your tomorrow would feel and look like.

Imagine with me now, a world of individuals doing just this.

Participating in a mass healing of consciousness.

A mass healing of embodiment.

A mass healing of self-love and appreciation.

A mass healing of community.

Because a better you,

is a better us,

is a better world.

But in order for this to be a real thing,

we each must do our part.

We must stop giving it only lip service and instead take action.

We must move forward with clarity in self.

This is how we turn the chaos into beauty.

Into peace.

But you must do your part, love.

You must know your worth,

know your value to today and to this world.

Knowing that in your actions,

your thoughts,

your embodiment,

you let your light be shown,

and with each light that ignites the darkness will be replaced with radiance.

We are a chosen people.

We are a people blessed by the hands of the creator.

We are a people that walk in the footsteps of greatness.

And how we progress forward is based on the choices that we each make.

SO if you think you have no power or say in the days and events to come,

THINK AGAIN.

You are the power.

You are the choice.

So live today in Self-Love and Awareness.

Dare to do something unique.

Dare to embody the self.

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Now accepting applications for 1:1 coaching.

Learn how you can let go of that that causes you stress and fear and truly create the life that you’ve always wanted for.

Plus inquire about my group coaching for ways to reduce anxiety and stress with a 5 week mastermind on the vagus nerve.

Photo credit to Photographyinwonderland.

Laughter, Crisis and How To Move Forward.

Laughter is like a windshield wiper,
it doesn’t stop the rain but it allows us to go on.
 
In times like these it is vitally important to the well-being of your mental, emotional and physical health as well as the world’s energy to find joy and laughter in each day.
 
I cannot stress enough that THIS is how we heal this crisis situation.
 
Through finding the blessing in the cloud that is raining on our earth today.
 
THIS is how we move forward.
And we only ever have today to live,
so why make it a day that is fearful?
Why not focus on beauty?
Why not focus on connection?
Why not focus on your dreams and goals?
 
You can have your best life TODAY.
 
But you must look for it.
You must allow it.
You must give yourself permission to feel it.
 
I don’t know about you,
but it has been a rough few weeks.
It has been trying,
and hard to not get caught up in all the fear.
It is so easy to loose sight of hope when the storm clouds just will not go away.
 
But sadly if we focus on the storm and the floods that it is creating with fear,
then we never will be able to see the opportunities that are being presented by them.
 
And I promise you this….
There is ALWAYS an opportunity in the storm.
 
In order to find hope again,
we must first recognize where we have turned our attention.
And then guide our thoughts toward those that serve our best outcome instead of feeding our fear.
 
By applying our attention like this we open up the flood gates to creative thinking,
which allows us OPPORTUNITY to find solutions.
 
Much like the rain on our windshiled,
we cannot see the road before us or the turns that we must make if we get caught on the rain drops.
 
The rain drops that encompass our path today,
are our thoughts.
 
And these thoughts dictate our feelings,
and send us down the rabbit holes that we choose.
 
To clear that path,
to clear the fear,
the limiting thoughts and the seperation from our truth,
we must break the chaos with joy.
 
The little moments.
If we each take this time of isolation as an opportunity to reconnect to who we each are,
what really matters to us,
and become more present in our lives and bodies,
in our relationships and ideas,
then we WILL come out of this storm,
our fires will not be put out but instead we will be purged of all that does not serve us any longer and moved forward on our path as individuals and as a world society.
 
The stillness and silence that so many are fearful of is a beautiful mediative space to go within,
the slower life is an opportunity to do the things that you have put off,
to do self-improvement work,
to change habits to ones that support the life that you want.
A time to catch up on things that you have not had an opportunity for,
and to set goals for the back half of the year and for the next five years.
 
The slower lifestyle,
the “forced” staying at home and being with family is an opportunity to build strong family relationships,
to actually get to know those that you are sharing your world with,
and to take a moment to share with them.
 
The isolation that we have in current is a great opportunity to see what matteres most and start to focus more on just that.
The seemingly simple little things are actually the BIG things.
 
Smiling at a stranger,
making eye contact and allowing yourself to feel your heart,
Playing with your child.
Holding hands with your lover.
Laughing.
Breathing in the cool air on a sunny day.
Family dinners.
and so much more.
 
Today I encourage you to focus on the life that you want.
To bring your thoughts into alignment with what you desire instead of what you fear.
 
And remember that TODAY is all you ever have,
so why not make it the day that you want.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grwon A*s Believers”
Now accepting applications for 1:1 coaching.
Learn how you can let go of that that causes you stress and fear and truly create the life that you’ve always wanted for.
Plus inquire about my group coaching for ways to reduce anxiety and stress with a 5 week mastermind on the vagus nerve.