Thriving Requires You To View Life Like THIS.

A few years ago I was out at a local pub that my ex and I would pop into and have a drink. It sorta was his “Cheers” for anyone who can remember the show.

 

You know a place where everyone knows your name.

 

And I was sitting down enjoying a martini with a woman that my ex was friends with her and her husband for years prior.

We were chatting about all sorts of stuff, among which was professionalism.

 

She informed me that she could NEVER work with someone who had tattoos.

She went on to tell me that tattoos make you unclean.

And that only under educated people had them.

Her passion about the subject was powerful,

She certainly had a hatred toward tattoos and it sounded like she looked down on anyone with them no matter whom they were.

 

Yet she counted me as someone to go out to see Andrea Bocelli with,

to kick back and enjoy drinks and dinner with by the pool,

to share her relationship issues with,

and amazingly she even hugged me to say hello and goodbye.

 

In the midst of her deep sharing on her hatred and disgust toward people with tattoos and how unprofessional and unclean they were,

I sat there with my hands and arms on the table not inches in front of her,

baring both arms with….

 

You guessed it.

 

TATTOOS on them…

 

LOL.

Yeah, she was preaching her disgust to her friend.

I shared with her that I worked with many people who had tattoos, and she said yeah but those are people who need life coaching, help in life, not people who are professionals.

 

I laughed.

Because my clients have always been those who are professionals, business owners, CEO’s, doctor’s, attorney’s, poloticains, fellow coaches and therapists, etc.

 

Affluent people.

85% of my clients are in the upper 2% of America.

 

And guess what?

They have tattoos.

Many of them do.

 

When I shared this with her,

she huffed and said,

 

“Well, if I ever found out that my doctor had a tattoo he would not be my doctor anymore. I cannot have someone like that touching me.”

 

Yet she hugged me hello and goodbye.

Her logic made no sense.

 

As most critical, judgemental people who are caught up in

“it’s my way or no way, and you are stupid and need to shut up or be removed from humanity if you think, feel or act differently then I do, ” rationalize.

 

These same people will turn and point fingers and call everyone who is not caving to their beliefs and fears self-centered, bad citizens, using their privilege, elitists.

 

 

In my line of work I get hate from time to time.

And I actually am grateful for it,

because it shows me area’s that I can improve my own inner world. It also show’s me that I am speaking from a perspective that is not average and ordinary.

 

And that thrills me because I do not want an average and ordinary life,

Living a F-ck Yes! Life and changing others lives to having that as well requires you to not go with the attitude of average and ordinary.

 

There ain’t now THRIVING in average and ordinary.

There is not GREATNESS in it either.

 

My mission is to help ignite as many people to their power and worthiness and tap into their abundance and flow with God as I possibly can in my lifetime,

and this unfortunately stirs many of the ordinary thinkers and perceivers of life out there to want to strike me down for many reasons.

 

“You need to shut up because…”

“You are not professional because..”

“You are wrong because….”

“I can’t trust you because….”

“You are stupid because….”

 

From my typo’s to my purple or blue hair,

from my open relating and tattoos to my I don’t give a f-ck what you think and use of the “F” word,

my authentic relating drives average folk crazy mad that they cannot control it and that despite all my flaws and my typo’s and tattoos I am THRIVING in relationship, money, health and making a positive mark in this world because I CHOOSE to do so.

 

I write this today,

because at waking my thread was bombarded with my fellow coaches and leaders out there being under attack for all the above reasons and more.

The judgment and criticism spewing around in hatred is like a storm that has no way to settle,

and it is sad to me that so many people in the world right now are living with such disgust and rage in their heads and hearts that they find a need to try to tear down another just because of differences of views, desires, beliefs or even looks.

 

This kind of stinking thinking WILL NEVER solve any problems.

 

It will only keep the fires burning and cause more pain and suffering.

 

When we can come back to actual critical thinking,

using logic and heart in harmony,

viewing our fellow human as just that,

another human with their own dreams, desires, fears, beliefs and opinions,

and that, that is perfect,

that being human does not mean that we are all cookie cutter the same,

then we will be able to heal ourselves and our world at a deeper level.

 

Until then we remain blind to love.

Blind to healing.

Blind to true world or local community.

 

Until then we have lost our humanity,

and are slaves to our fear of difference.

 

Where are you at in your judgements of your fellow humans and how are you desiring to control those who are the same as you?

 

Can you imagine what life would be like and who you would actually be if you put down all your fear based thinking and just allowed yourself to be YOU?

 

This is your truth love.

 

And remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to stop your stinking thinking and claim your true power now?

Let’s chat. Message me for deet’s on how to get started.

Throne-tood! – Get Some.

Throne-tood!

It’s a THING.

And it’s a thing that you gotta get some of if you want to have the life that you claim that you want.

 

We have been raised to have shame over loving ourselves.

We have been raised to believe that it is wrong or even bad to think highly of ourselves,

or to brag.

And it is “selfish” ( meaning bad) to ask for what we want, need or desire.

 

But instead the correct path to happiness is to look like this so we have been raised to believe…

 

Talk like shit about yourself,

hate on your body,

on your thoughts,

in your life.

 

Be SUPER effing critical about everything and never admit to your glory.

 

Downplay everything good and hype up everything that is not perfect in your life.

 

Make sure that you are NEVER offending everyone else,

because YOU….

yes you are  responsible for everyone else’s feelings, ideas, perceptions, thoughts and actions,

so make sure to never mess up or have an opinion that does not match whomever you are with.

 

Put others before yourself at all costs.

Exhaust yourself and keep giving,

but don’t bitch that you are at your breaking point.

 

Suck it up.

Don’t show your emotions,

any of them but “blase.”

Indifference is the best path,

even if it’s not true.

 

Your anger,

your sadness,

your joy,

hide because it is too effing much for the world around you.

 

Fear everything.

And know that you are most likely at fault for the crap no matter what,

and if it’s not you then feel offended instantly,

if anyone says different or God forbid

goes against all of these rules of how to live a happy successful life.

 

And just be happy with it already,

‘cus this baby is what life is all about.

 

This is living the dream.

This is success.

 

F-cking crazy as all hell is’nt it?

I mean when I write it out  like that,

unless you are blind, dumb and stupid,

then you have to admit that anyone who actually thinks or feels this way is NEVER going to be thriving,

going to experience success or empowerment,

never going to feel confident.

Most likely only be used and hurt frequently,

will have a crappy backbone,

will not know themselves or anyone else for that matter,

and will simply not ever touch happiness.

 

So what is the answer?

 

Get a f-cking THRONE-TOOD!

 

There I said it.

It is high time that you started to value yourself.

Claiming your life, ‘calling in your blessings,

being a conscious co-creator,

manifesting a life that is full of wonder, love and success,

REQUIRES YOU TO PUT YOUR CROWN ON.

 

 

As long as you keep disrespecting God’s glory and power and not allowing his power and will to move through your life,

then you will keep falling prey to this stinking thinking love.

 

As long as you keep believing that God wants you to walk looking down at the ground,

tripping in misery over all that you have lost and ignoring the joy that your life could be,

then you will never feel the wonder of walking with you head held high,

your eyes meeting others in unconditional love and acceptance,

or the witnessing of the miracles that happen daily,

IN YOUR LIFE.

 

As long as you keep being available for scarcity,

and never picking up that crown that God has handed you,

then you will continue to suffer by your own hand.

 

And you will forever remain a slave to the enemy known as fear.

 

Oh, beautiful, don’t you see the path that you are too walk.

Can you not feel the call in your soul?

 

Now in our world we need more than ever before for you to RISE UP….

SPEAK UP…

LIGHT UP….

 

But that means that you have to accept that many who choose to remain in darkness and pain will be disgusted by your choice.

 

They will call you names,

they will hate on you and shame you,

they will want to tear you down in any way they can,

and they will make you doubt your path.

 

It will require you to have courage,

to love yourself more than you thought possible and to walk in FAITH.

 

And if you choose to step away from the many who still remain in fear,

if you choose to instead embrace your power,

and the love that the universe/God has for you,

then your life will be one of bliss and glory.

 

And THAT…

THAT is what we are each to do.

That is how we celebrate life,

honor God,

and THRIVE.

 

Are you ready, love?

Are you ready to finally say F-ck Yes! to yourself and your dreams and stop making excuses and sharing the thousands of reasons as to why you cannot do/be/have?

But instead just step firmly in faith on this path before you that is calling you?

 

Are you ready to stop giving your power just lip service but acting in faith on it?

 

I can tell you that many people say they are light workers,

they claim to be abundant,

they proclaim their faith,

and they say they believe in magic and miracles,

they even proudly state that they get manifesting and that they are powerful manifestors….

 

and they are.

For sure.

 

But, if you are struggling,

if you are suffering,

if you are feeling lost, tired and lonely…

 

Then baby, you are not really claiming your crown.

If you are not happy, (truly)

then you still have not figured it out,

and it YOU that this is written for.

It is you that need to KNOW YOUR WORTH.

 

It’s time to pick that crown up and have a THRONE-TOOD….

Because the life that you want for DEMANDS IT!

 

So Get One.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to step forward and say yes to your crown love?

Ready to stop being available for suffering, pain and misfortune?

 

Let’s speak today about no more reasons and excuses,

and get that crown picked up and put where it rightfully goes.

 

Message for deet’s.

Looking For A Reason To Just F-cking Be You? Here is the Answer Luv.

I absolutely HATE being controlled.
I dislike having to seek approval from another to just f-cking be me.

You know what I mean?

How do you feel about that?
Needing validation from another to be/do/have the things in your life that you just want.
That you enjoy.
That makes your life yours.
That make you,
you?

But this is how we live out our lives.
We run around seeking for validation,
which is just another way of saying that we are asking for others permission to live our life,
or to be us.

And that has ALWAYS seemed a bit crazy to me.
10 year old Kendal, did not want to do this.
16 year old Kendal, certainly did not want to do this,
to the point that I found away to get homeschooled when homeschool was not a thing.
20 year old Kendal, figuring out the adulting thing did not enjoy this and quit her job because of this.
34 year old Kendal hated it so much that she left her husband for it.
And today,
well yeah… that shiz just don’t fly.

I still hate being controlled,
if you want me to do something,
control me in the opposite and I am sure to move the direction away from the control ( unless I see the manipulation and that is a totally different story),
But in truth what I dislike is not so much the control, but having to do what I don’t want to do.

I do not like having to do things that do not feel good to me for where I am at RIGHT NOW.

If it feels good and in alignment,
THEN SIGN ME THE F-CK UP!

If not then know I will change directions on you so quick your head will spin.
And I have been guilty of this all my life.
I have been called naive,
I have been told that I am flighty and flaky,
that I have commitment issues,
that I am lost.

The reality is far simpler than any of these options,
the truth is, I know, like I have always known that if I am not a F-ck Yes! to it then why do it.
And I change gears based on my authentic yes or no to something.

Sometimes that means that I cancel things.
Sometimes that means that I say I am going to get something done and then I do something else.
Sometimes it means that I have to own where I am at that I simply am no longer in alignment to whatever it was that I had agreed too.

And I get that the world does not like it when people operate on these sort of guidelines that I do.,
I understand that it goes compleletly against what we are taught.

But it works.
And for those of us out there that are self learners and thinkers,
that know beyond a doubt that our feelings and thoughts are what create our reality, that are not average and ordinary,
well guess what?

This is often what you will get.

What is often perceived as:

*IRRESPONSIBLE
*IRRATIONAL
*CHAOTIC
*NIEVE
*FLIGHTY
*FLAKY
*COMMITMENT ISSUES
*ATTITUDE
*SELFISH

Because we get that what makes us feel good,
that living according to our souls calling and being fully in alignment to that,
is ALL the F-ck that matters.

We get that being selfish is where it is at.
Because selfishness is not evil,
What is evil is living in fear and scarcity.
That is not of God.

We understand that yes it takes courage to live like this, because the world has not been raised to handle our kind,
the world focused on the sheeple mentality,
the mentality of keeping you in fear and scarcity.
On the concept that you are to put EVERYONE before you and that some effing way THIS will bring you joy, happiness and all your heart desires,
But don’t you ask for anything because that’s wrong.
Think of others ALWAYS first.

Drain yourself.
Take from self until you have nothing more to give.
Until your vessel is so empty you are lost.

This is what you are here for.

And that is all wrong I tell you.

God does not want you living in fear and scarcity.
God wants you to be wanting.
It is in your wanting that the universe expands and evolves,
it is through you that we all grow.

And if you fall prey to the concept that living your life based on the permission of someone else is what you are to do,
that validating yourself through the ideas, beliefs and desires of another is what you are here for,
to be servant to them and cast yourself aside,
then well baby you are simply wrong.

You can never fill another’s glass from your empty pitcher.

This means you MUST approach life from a more selfish manner and learn how to take care of you.

You say that you want to manifest all this abundance,
the love and connection,
the freedom and opportunities,
you say that you want to be able to make a massive impact on the world,
to touch lives,
to help others heal,
or to lead the people in your life to a happy way of being.

Well then you gotta quit on this concept of living from the permission of others.

You will NEVER know your own worthiness or value if you rely on somelese to tell it to you.

If you are looking for the pat on the head from another to tell you that you are on the right path or doing good,
needing that validation,
then you will forever fall for whatever someone else deems acceptable for your life.

Sad but true.

Cuz’ you see baby,
it’s all up to you loving you enough to stop the crazy concept that you need validated and permission for being you.

You were born worthy luv.
You were.
But you gotta accept that.
And it starts with you knowing that by doing all the damn things that you keep doing that you hate,
that makes you feel like shit about yourself,
that makes you fear,
that causes you separation from your truth,
is the culprit to the suffering and void that you feel.

You must start living according to you.
For you.

And no one else.

You see when you feel those negative emotions,
you know,
shame
guilt
anger
jealousy
bitterness
fear
loss
confusion
prejudice
blame
suffering

those emotions are ONLY there to tell you one MF thing.

YOU ARE NOT IN YOUR TRUTH.
YOU ARE NOT LIVING ACCORDING TO YOUR SOUL.
YOU ARE OUT OF ALIGNMENT WITH GOD.

These are not you and they are not for you,
that is why you are feeling like shit baby.

But you have to start interpreting these emotions correctly in order to navigate yourself the right direction.

You must realize that you are here to want and desire.
You are here to love.
You are here to experience.
You are here to connect.
You are here to share.
You are here to BE YOU.

And if you can get this point, ‘then you join the 0.01% of the world that gets it.

You join those of us who are THRIVING and LIVING as intended.

And if you continue to choose otherwise,
but expect different results,
well let’s just say that, that might be kind of silly, right?

Because as long as you keep doing your stinking thinking and needing someone else to validate your existence for you then you will remain unhappy and lost and most likely not very successful in many subject areas of your life.

And I don’t want that for you.
I believe you are worthy.
That we all are worthy.

And that God wants you to THRIVE.

But you have to believe it too.
And want it.
And have the COURAGE to claim it.

SAY AMEN OR YES IN THE COMMENTS IF YOU WANT TO CLAIM THAT LIFE OF YES FOR YOU NOW.

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Let’s get you saying yes to you once and for all .
You can have it.
You can.
Message me for deet’s on my coaching opportunities available worldwide now.

Watch: HUSTLE ENERGY! This is where the MAGIC is.

To The Man Who’s Sleeping With My Wife.

Adobe Stock Photo.
Dear Brother –
I am in joy. I am also scared.
First, thank you.
Thank you for showing up in her life in the way that you have. You’ll be exchanging eye gazes, sweet energy, laughter, meals, and touch with her. I know this will bring her joy. And her joy is my joy. I know it’s hard to believe, but the freedom for her to explore with you is evidence of my unconditional love for her.
To me, true love means wishing for my beloved to be fulfilled in every possible way, even if that fulfillment comes with some emotional work for me.
You see, we men have existed in a double standard narrative for thousands of years. Men have been mostly respected (or at least tolerated) for having more than one lover. Women have been slut-shamed, punished, and even murdered in some countries for loving more than one.
There is a revolution of this narrative taking place and we can join this wave of change together.
Brother, you are something I can never be. You are other. You are her novelty, her adventure. You are not me. When she shares her life story with you (the story I know oh so well) she will have the chance to be mirrored back with a new
curiosity.
And that feels amazing for me to know.
To try to take this experience away from her would be to exercise a conditional love, a selfish love. If exploring new love can bring her immense joy, then who am I to interfere? Conventional love is conditional love. It says… “I love you, except for this one condition: I will not share you for as long as you are with me.”
So I choose unconventional love, which says… “I love you unconditionally, therefore, your joy is my joy, even if that joy does not come from me.”
If you are reading this, then you likely have shown up in my life as a true brother, open-hearted and caring. She wouldn’t have it any other way. You honor the roots she and I have intertwined and the commitments we have made
to each other. Like us, you’ve done the work to transcend most of your conditioned insecurities.
You’ve aligned yourself with the idea that our core human needs (certainty, love, significance, variety, growth and service) are served by the ideal that we all have the capacity to love more than one, if we do so in a conscious way.
She is a divine feminine goddess. She is beautiful inside and out. She lights up any room she walks into. Her heart is enormous. She is committed to her own personal growth and to leaving this world better than she found it.
She is a woman that I am sworn to protect, yet one that I do not possess.
Despite my patriarchal conditioning, keeping all of her goodness to myself would be a sin. I have chosen the path less traveled in that I honor her freedom to radiate out love and take in love, to be seen for all the good that she is, by other than just me. This freedom means more mirrors to mirror back, which leads to more growth, more healing, and more service for her to experience. All of this makes me happy to imagine.
Still, I am scared.
The little boy in me is scared of being abandoned. The high school kid who was dumped by his girlfriend for the star soccer player right before Prom. And the man who lost two big loves to other men on this road less traveled. This is my wounding.
I am keenly aware that there are many wounded men out there who have not been able to show up for women in the ways they need to flourish. I am afraid that someone new may upset all the healing work we’ve done together, or worse, re-wound her. While I don’t know you well (yet) and only time will tell, I trust that everything will unfold the way it’s meant to unfold. I also trust in her judgment.
I persist with this love-style because it remains my deepest truth. I push forward with the faith that there are others out there (hopefully you) who share in our freedom to love more than one for life. Others who no longer wish to exist in a competitive landscape of disposable relationships or a “zero-sum game” where one’s gain is often another’s loss.
Brother, we are not adversaries, nor are we competing for the heart of this woman. You know this. Her heart belongs to no one but her. This goddess, with her free will, gets to choose how to share her space and her time. If you are ever confused, scared, or not fully expressed, please know that you’re in good company. It will always be my intention to uphold a safe container that is full of heart-centered, open, peaceful communication for everyone involved.
So I thank you for the joy. I thank you for coming into her (and my) world, and I ask that we see each other, love each other, and build our brotherhood from our common ground… this beautiful soul. While nothing is expected from you, I do wish to know you, learn from you, and share with you. I look forward to playing together, creating together and exploring all possibilities in friendship.
AND thank you for scaring me.
Thank you for allowing me to do the work I still need to do. I am human and am still shedding the discomforts that we’ve all been conditioned to carry for many generations. It is my mission to release these discomforts and I am grateful to have you (and her) on this journey with me. Thank you in advance for being patient and for being gentle with me.
Treat her well, brother. She is worthy of and will expect nothing but excellent care, high-quality love, and mindful communication. One benefit of our love-style is that no one gets to settle for mediocrity or complacency. We all are motivated to grow each day and show up as the best versions of ourselves.
Lastly, please remember this: your joy is also my joy. Genuinely.
Love,
Your Brother,
* This essay is a companion to my love’s Letter To The Woman Whose Man I’m Sleeping With. Both letters were inspired by the exquisitely vulnerable essay “A Letter To The Women Who Sleep With My Man” by Wilrieke Sophia. Visit https://freelovediaries.com/all-entries/ for more.
Here to serve,
xoxo
Shai Fishman from LEVELED UP LOVE

Hi, I Am Kendal’s P-ssy and THIS Is My Tale.

Hi, I am Kendal’s P-ssy….

I have a story to share with you.

It is my personal tale of a p-ssies struggles and come back to love and orgasm.

 

When Kendal was a small girl,

she discovered me. She loved to explore me and learn all about me in the shower and it felt wonderful.

We were so bonded and comfortable with each other,

and as Kendal grew and became a young adult,

she could hear me speaking to her about everything that I felt was good for us. She listened to some of my words and sought to help me have some of my desires,

but then one day Kendaal met a young man that I absolutely adored.

This young man knew how to treat Kendal.

He looked at her with eye full of love,

he touched her skin with the same adoration.

And months down the road she allowed him to touch me too.

 

It was an exciting day.

I can still feel those first touches.

I had never been seen by a boy before like this,

I had never been allowed to be touched by anyone other than Kendal until now,

and here he was.

 

Loving on me.

Delicately.

Focused.

and passionate.

 

I grew so hungry for the boy to do more than just touch me,

but he was respecting Kendal and wanted to move slowly.

And let me tell you,

He moved slowly.

It took him a year to finally make sweet love to us,

and when he did,

He remained in us for hours.

Rubbing, touching, kissing and sucking.

It was a loving moment and I felt so free and open.

I never wanted to part ways with this young man,

and Kendal was so happy,

so full of sexual light.

And confidence.

They shared dreams and ideas of the future,

talked as though thousands of years would go by with them together.

 

I was so excited about the endless possibilities of what they were discussing.

 

But one day,

the boy changed his mind.

He decided that he needed to venture out into the world without us. He kissed Kendal goodbye after lunch and vanished without a word.

 

Kendal cried for months,

she felt so lost and in agony over this relationship.

She became upset with me too in the process and blamed me for the pain that her heart was feeling.

So she distanced herself from me,

she did not touch me.

She did not want to have anyone else touch me.

She felt trapped in her surroundings and lost at her core.

 

A few months went by and all she could think of was escaping the world that she was existing in.

She met a man a decade older than her,

she could tell he had eyes for her and that is all that mattered.

She knew he was her ticket out of this mess that she was in.

And so she acted quickly and offered us up a tribute to the man,

she moaned and screamed, scratched and acted like I was enjoying it, acted like she was into it,

but I was not.

I felt saddened at her actions.

Before I knew it, the man had proposed  to her and she said yes,

I was lost at why she would do this when she did not have the feeling in her heart for him,

and I was not on board with the idea,

yet she said yes.

 

And years went by.

We had children,

and I kept being offered up for tribute,

to keep life normal and “happy” as she always said.

She believed that this is what adulting was about and that it just was.

She told us that the joy and love we shared with the boy so many years before was a fluke and that I needed to accept that we were not here to enjoy the sex anymore,

that we were here to have babies, make her husband happy and carry on.

 

And so I allowed her to use and abuse us.

But I shut myself down from the possibilities of pleasure,

I could not feel her heart anymore,

all I could feel was her anger and hatred.

 

Until, one day a man who was a friend of theirs started flirting with her. He grabbed her hand one afternoon and kissed her palm. I got excited.

I began to heat up and throb.

I was screaming,  “Do you feel that?”

I wanted her to recognize the look in this man’s eyes.

It was love.

And if she would stop waring with me she could feel the warmth of it at her core.

 

I was hopeful that this man could reconnect us.

And I pushed for her to do what she never thought possible,

go outside her marriage and tap back into me.

 

And she did.

And there were some fun adventures,

until that crazy mind of hers kicked back into the driver’s seat and told her to feel shame and guilt,

that her sex did not matter and that she was evil for venturing off and listening to me.

 

And so she locked us out again.

She blamed us for even more pain and loss in her life.

And we carried on being offered up as tribute to her husband for a decade more.

 

Over the years I went to work on other aspects of her,

trying to get them to side with me,

trying to get them to connect with me so that we could get her to listen to the fact that she was walking down the wrong path in her life and that the happiness that she craved and desired,

was never going to happen under these conditions of trauma.

And FINALLY I had a breakthrough with her intestines.

We devised a plan that would certainly cause her to pay attention….

 

One day while at an event with friends,

when she was laughing and masking her pain with alcohol we set our plan into action.

The intestines began to bleed everywhere!

She had white shorts on and was in a crowd of strangers and friends,

it was perfect.

She panicked.

She knew it was not me bleeding from her period,

and she knew it was serious.

It was a sobering moment for Kendal.

We had her attention.

And with some discovery she uncovered that she was now suffering from Crohn’s Disease.

 

She spent the next few years focusing on her body,

on her health, on her thoughts,

and even though she still ignored me,

she was on the right path to coming back into communication with me and after doing everything that she could to heal,

she came to the conclusion,  (thanks to me who made sure to kick Crohn’s into high gear after sex frequently) that there was alink between her sex, her p-ssy (me) and the disease.

 

And so she went back to her roots,

she went back to what the boy from so many years before had taught her,

to thier conversations about sex, body and soul.

And she realized that what she needed was sexual healing.

That all these years she had been living in her sexual shadow,

disconnected from who she really was and her desires,

disconnected from your intuition, her GPS (ME).

 

And one day she went to her husband and told him her discovery only to be told that she was crazy.

But, she was done with the pain and suffering.

She was done with feeling lost and moody.

She was done with pleasureless sex,

limited connection and not being happy in her life.

She was sick and tired of not living.

And she told her husband, “too bad, I am doing it anyway.”

 

And she did.

And it was amazing.

She started the very next week by connecting with a tantra coach, and she dug in deep quickly and did the emotional and psychological work that he offered her to remove the wounds and trauma and move past them, she did the physical release work to let the tension go from the body, and from me.

And she started to feel herself again.

She started to appreciate me again.

She started to love me again and feed me again with touch,

and then on day she decided that it was time to let me play some and she ventured out and found a man,

a man that looked at her the way that I like,

and she listened to me and they had beautiful intimate, healing moments,

and he opened her up to hearing me even more and feeling me more and deeper,

and from there she found more lovers for me,

and more,

and I felt loved and appreciated, full.

But all stories have some down points, right?

And so does mine.

 

One day Kendal did not listen like she should to me and she disregarded my screaming that we were in a bad situation,

and without notice a male client of hers attacked her in her office and forced himself on her,

and into us.

He had his way and she felt paraylzed in the moment during and directly following. He tossed $600 down on her limp body on the floor and said,

“Thank you for making me feel like a man.”

She wept and hid herself.

Blaming me again,

if I had not taken her down this path,

then perhaps this trauma would not have been,

she should have stayed safe,

but here she was.

And disconnected we were again.

It took her some time,

it took her some convincing from a few wonderful men that loved her deeply,

but she finally came back around and allowed me my voice again.

 

From there we have had many struggles in our communication,

we have made some wrong turns but we have many more right then wrong.

 

She has learned the value of my voice,

and when the old wounds sprout up from nowhere she sees them.

She desires to remain in connection with me,

and together we work at our loving relationship daily.

 

Today, I am happy with my journey.

I am happy with my life.

I feel the disconnect that her and I have,

as does she,

but our desire is the same.

To open and connect me fully back up to her heart where I belong,

so that we each can reap the wonderful rewards of pleasure and juicy intimacy again.

 

There have been so many moments through the years that Kendal and I have shared touching the big toe of God in our sex, feeling the bliss of an emotional orgasm as tears pour from her eye’s and I pulsate and vibrate in rapture, and swallowing up our lover to the depth of the earths core.

 

These moments are what I crave as a p-ssy.

These moments are only possible when I am connected to her heart,

and feel that she loves me and herself fully.

These moments can only occur when she is listening to me and letting guide her to the lovers that are at one with us,

and this is what makes me happy.

 

This is what all p-ssies in the world crave and desire for happiness.

 

Ladies of the world…

are you listening to her?

She has a message for you,

she wants to connect and open your heart.

Your p-ssy is your guidance, your intuition and knowing.

It is time that you reconnect and stop blaming and fearing her.

 

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn more about how you as a woman can tap back into your female GPS and power? To live a life of rapture and truth?  Message me for deet’s on just how to do this.

The Power of Facebook Memories….What it means to your F-ck Yes! Life.

You gotta love Facebook memories.
 
Don’t you?
I mean they make us laugh,
Make us smile,
Make us feel our hearts tug,
Bring up sadness,
Missing,
And appreciation.
 
Facebook memories….
This last weekend I have been off camping in a tipi out in Hawkins Texas. Its been a lovely experience with my youngest two children and boyfriend.
The pictures that are capturing all these fantastic and fun memories are something to be grateful for.
And if you are a scrapbooker like myself,
(Well in truth I have not scrapbooked for a decade, but I take pictures with the concept and image of one day getting them scrapbooked)
 
Then you can for sure appreciate the memories being stored for later creative projects.
 
And then there are those darn Facebook memories…
 
One year ago today….you were at this Jimmy Buffet Concert.
 
Four years ago today…. you were strolling down the beach in Jamaica with your ex.
And you were hiking Dunns Falls and eating lunch at Margaritavil.
 
Seven years ago today…. you were enjoying a romantic dinner and sexy time with another ex that you thought the relationship would last a lifetime with for how in love you were.
 
Eleven years ago…. your children were calling you a hippie mama and you were proud of the title.
 
Lol… just some memories from my life on today.
 
But you know what I noticed?
As I looked through all the pictures….
 
The authentic smiles and connection.
The joy and laughter.
The love.
 
Although fleeting,
And ever changing,
It was there and it is here today as well.
And for this I am grateful 🙏.
 
The people in our storyline tend to change,
As humans can be quiet fickle and our egos and hearts tend to whisk us all about.
 
But when you choose to focus on what matters most,
The love and connection.
The beautiful memories and moments shared,
Then the players in our stories are always perfect.
They are there for a reason in that season of our lives.
And when we can embrace that truth,
It makes our lives so much more fluid and enjoyable.
 
As I looked back on the memories of today over the last decade,
I felt a host of emotions.
I felt my heart expand and sink.
I looked into the eyes of these now strangers,
And asked silently,
What happened here?
I also saw clearly that it was not all bad,
It was not all fake,
It was not time, energy, love, LIFE wasted.
 
Not at all.
It was time shared in love.
And this is my message to you today,
See the beauty of your past and the players in it.
See the love and the life we’ll spent.
Because when you do this…
You capture more of this.
You allow more good times.
You make yourself more available to living in love.
To receiving joy, connection and love.
 
And doesn’t that sound better then looking at those years gone by from a feeling of bitterness, anger and loss?
 
I mean think about what you desire.
Look at what you want for.
Are you living in the energy of it now?
Can you feel it present in your past?
Do you know how to manifest it into your tomorrow?
 
By seeing and feeling it ALIVE in you now.
And looking for the evidence of it in your memories and in the makings of today.
 
Be in gratitude for your memories.
For your storylines and for those who danced the dance with you.
 
It is perfect just the way it is.
As are you.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”
Message me for deets on how to get the most out of your forever and live a F-ck Yes Life now.

The Seemingly Meaningless Things.

Today I stayed in my nighty till 1pm.

Why? Because that’s what felt good for this moment.

Seems like a who the eff cares sorta thing, right?

Cuz’ it does not ultimately effect anything.
But that’s not true.

It effects everything.
Because its all about my vibe.
About how I am feeling right now.

The other day I was out at my community pool…
(And f-ck yes! We are happy our community is opening back up.)
And the water 💧 was so freaking cold.
My youngest two kids were yelping for me to get in the water and play and I was really not wanting too.
Willing yes.
But wanting…. not so much 😕.
I did want them to be happy.
I wanted to enjoy a fun moment with them.
But as I ventured into the cold depths of the pool I felt my body tense. My limbs tightened,
My heart  starting beating faster and I found myself holding my breath.

I was now constricting my energy.
I was withholding my truth.
I was locking myself up.
And I felt frustrated that I was in this coldness.
My ego instantly started to play its games with me…

“You need to smile and bear this, don’t let them see your pain, frustration, or lack of wanting to be here.”

“You have to do this.”
“F-ck! This is too cold. Wish they did not want to do this.”

And my emotion to these statements?

Bitterness.
Frustration.
Shut down.

And as I got splashed, and jumped on,
I grew sad because my body was hurting.
And I was feeling trapped.
I was feeling like I had no choice or that if I stated my truth that I would upset my loved ones.

Which was NOT the emotion that I started this afternoon with.
It was however the emotion I was choosing for this moment,
By the actions I was allowing myself to take that I was not a 💯 percent too.
And so….
I also, in this action 🎬 allowed my vibe 😎 to totally be changed.

And if left unacknowledged,
And consistent action to follow where I chose to what perhaps I was willing to do,
But not willing,
Then my mood would stay low vibe.
My emotions would be darker, full of blame,
Irritation, and…
My energy…
It would remain constricted like my body was feeling from the 🥶 cold.
I would remain tense to life.
Tense to my desires.
Tense to those I am around and love.
Tense to my truth.

And then you know what 😳 happens?

I end up magnitizing and manifesting more things into my life that cause me to remain constricted.

More things that I may be WILLING to do…
But am not WANTING to do.

And so instead of living this life the way I enjoy 😉 the most,
Which is in ease and flow,
With tons of laughter, play, connection, joy, love, abundance of good shit…

I would shut it all out.
Granted my little tale to you today is only that…
A tale.
It was a flicker of thought and emotion that went through my being and announced the path that I was potentially stepping on.
But I recognized it.
I saw what those seemingly meaningless thoughts and emotions were saying.

And so I got my booty out of the 🥶 cold.
I went and did what felt good.
Laying in the 🌞 sun.

And my week has been gentle with me.
Full of what I enjoy.

It could have been different.
And often people come to me with a desire to live their f-ck yes life, and they want to know HOW 🤔.

It always comes down to these seemingly meaningless moments.

These thoughts and emotions that are left uncensored,
And how they will lead us astray.

So if my tale speaks to you today.
Here is your HOW.
Here is what you MUST start to realize.
And what is most important.

Do what you enjoy.
Don’t be led astray by what you “think” you need to do to appear a certain way to anyone else,
Or to make someone else happy,
Especially if you are a F-CK NO!

Time to get really baby.
Time to know your truth.
Its with you always,
You just have to listen and act from there.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

Let’s do this thing luv.
You and me.
Stepping into who you really are and claiming your F-ck Yes!Life now.

Message me for deets.

What You Want For, Is Already Yours. – Here Is How.

OMFG! Do I ever have the travel bug up my butt!

Here I sit, the sun is out,

it’s freaking beautiful outside,

and my soul,

which likes to hop a plane every 5 weeks or so to go somewhere in our world is stir crazy from just popping around the back yard, a few parks and lakes and hanging with my closests peeps.

 

I am sure you can feel me on this.

I just want my feet in the sand,

or to breathe in the crisp air of the mountains,

or hike through a rainforest.

I don’t need to go popping through a city or even a village and meet new peeps.

I need mother nature,

and I need it outside of my own backyard.

I need to be set free.

 

And I am sure you do too.

 

But you see, freedom is not something that we gain from the outside.

Much like love, compassion, empathy, worthiness, or forgiveness,

freedom does not come from the outside first.

It is a feeling.

Just like all the other feelings I just listed.

 

And if we focus on the feeling,

and we just enjoy it for what it is,

and that is what we want,

then we already have at any given moment what we desire.

 

But we tend to get caught up with saying that we want this feeling…

 

whatever that might be,

or we might even go as far to claim that we already have it,

and say that we are so grateful for it,

but when it comes down to it,

we are looking for the results of something physical to happen to support that feeling that we were playing with.

 

And that’s just the issue.

We play with our feelings.

 

We don’t just have them and enjoy them and let them be the seeds to the life that we want,

we play with them and toss them all about,

then as with anything we are playing with,

we get tired of them,

or we drop them and…. oops, they shatter.

When we drop a feeling we do it by taking our focus off of the enjoyment of the feeling just being with us and start to look for physical evidence of the feeling,

such as the money in the bank,

the lover in our bed,

the return of a healthy body,

etc.

 

And when we do this,

crash… the feel leaves us and we are left with doubt.

We are left with fear.

Because now we fall back into the concept that we have to have this outside “thing” to be the feeling.

And if that “thing” is not there then obviously we cannot be the feeling we want.

 

So we attach our feelings to objects and relationships.

We attach our joy and happiness to these things and we steal our beautiful life from ourselves when we do this.

 

I will not lie,

I want to travel. And I want to get out of dodge quickly,

I am antsy as all heck.

And I will most likely book myself and family a VRBO on the gulf of Mexico sometime in the next two weeks.

Cuz, that’s the way I roll.

But, until that, I am not going to focus on the not happening right now in the physical aspect.

Because the reality is…

 

MY LIFE IS EFFING AMAZING.

and I am free.

 

I am free to think the thoughts that I want.

I am free to think and feel good vibes.

I am free to increase my vibration.

I am free to smile.

I am free to laugh.

I am free to grow.

I am free to enjoy the people that I want to enjoy.

I am free to delight in life.

I am free to share my joy.

I am free to focus my attention to the life that I am calling in and the life expansion that I want for.

I am free….

 

Because I feel free RIGHT NOW.

And it will stay such as long as I keep my focus on feeling it NOW.

 

So luv…

 

IT’S EFFING TIME!

It’s time to cut loose.

It’s time to say lets get a move on.

It’s time to open up and stop feeling so much reservation about everything.

It’s time to know your power.

It’s time to stop being fearful of everything.

It’s time to make some shit happen.

It’s time to call it all in and live it.

 

It’s time.

It’s your time.

 

It’s time to own your freedom.

Own your worthiness.

Own your lovability.

Own your power.

 

 

But you have to be willing to want for it enough to let yourself have it right now,

because THAT is the only way you will ever attract it in physical manifestation.

 

Are you ready to set yourself free?

 

Lets Go.

 

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

 

It is time that you say YES to you.

 

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

Here is How God is Using You and What To Do About It.

The universe is using you.

 

Yes you read that right.

The universe is using you.

You could say God is using you even.

 

But what are these forces greater than you using you for?

 

Creation.

And I am not talking about making babies.

I am talking about making life, yes…

but not not babies.

The universe is using you to experience life.

To experience creation.

To create and to expand.

If you are not expanding then the universe is not expanding.

Therefore, you are always expanding.

 

And you do this through pain and pleasure.

You get to choose though how you expand.

You get to open yourself to the expansion and have the universe penetrate you in one of these ways.

 

When we struggle,

when we feel anxiety and great resistance to the good things that life has to offer us,

we are choosing pain over pleasure.

But the pain is not a bad thing,

it is not comfortable for sure to be in a state of pain and struggle, but it is not a bad thing because it creates desire.

And in the birthing of our desires we expand.

Desire for something more,

something better and grander,

is what we are here for.

That desire is what breeds life to happen.

That desire is what stokes our creative fires and gets us moving.

That desire is what ignites us to let go of our pain.

And when we let go of our pain and struggle,

when we realize that we have always had it,

that whatever we desire is already with us,

and that we are worthy of it,

our letting go of the pain is us letting go of the resistance to having that, that we want for.

 

Did you catch that?

You are not getting what you want in your life because you are not letting go of the pain of not having it.

So you are resisting having what you want.

You are applying your power, your ability to manifest to not having your desired outcome.

And therefore, that is what is given to you.

 

But with that resistance you expand your desire and hunger for what you are wanting for, giving it more power.

Creating more momentum.

 

The universe is there supporting your expansion in desire to create.

To birth this desire into play.

And to enjoy it.

 

And you will have it once you get your belief that you can have it on board with your desire to have it.

 

By doing this you become aligned.

And in getting aligned you receive it,

quickly.

 

But the belief is shown from your ability to let go of the struggle, the fear, the anxiety, the worry, the pain.

 

Can you put it all down and look at your right now,

see the blessings and the joy of the right now,

no matter how small they may be?

 

Can you feel good right now by thinking a thought that opens your heart to love or to beauty?

 

Can you slow down right now enough to loosen your grip on the idea that you are sinking so that you can float?

 

This is what it takes.

This is what it requires for you to have the life and desires that you are wanting for.

And by letting go,

the universe will move through you with great momentum and miracles will occur.

 

You get to choose how long it takes to create your desired life.

You get to choose what you have in this life of yours.

You get to choose how abundant you are in love, in money and wellbeing.

 

You are such a powerful love.

It is true that when you ask it is given.

 

Your only job is to let go of the reigns of fear.

 

Are you ready to step on the gas in manifesting the life that you want for?

 

And Remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Take advantage right now of a lifetime opportunity to work with me in my intensive 4 week mastermind where you get to work 1:1 with me to learn the keys that I woke up to back in 2009 and changed my whole life outcome with.  Let me guide you through the turbulence of the storms and show you the power of letting go of fear so that you can create the life of dreams, you know that you desire and deserve it. Let’s make it happen. Message me for deet’s

Here Is Why You Are Not Receiving Your Blessings.

 

Blessings are abound my love,

but you refuse to see them.

 

Your life is expanding,

your fortune is growing,

your soul is speaking to you and guiding you with each breath that you take,

but you my love,

ignore and choose to focus on things of past that do not matter.

You choose to pull forth your fears instead of your blessings and desires.

Why my love?

Why do you insist on living a saga instead of a dream?

Why do you choose to suffer and rage,

to fear and struggle instead just simply letting go of all of those things that you were caught up in yesterday and last month or year,

and instead firmly step into what you want and who you truly are?

 

You question and huff why good things happen to everyone else and not to you,

you fixate on life being hard.

And ignore the blessings and abundance,

the quick manifestation,

the miracles that just seem to happen each day,

you ask for help and it is always there,

always showing up for you and never being acknowledged,

yet you say how important gratitude is to you,

you say that you are awakened,

you say that you are doing your best,

you say so much,

but what you are doing much of is fearing life.

 

And that, that you fear will continue to scare you.

You give it reason,

you give it purpose and strength.

You give it life my love.

And no one on this planet can ever help you out of this drama that you so eagerly keep yourself in.

 

The excuses and reasons,

the finger pointing.

The blame and bitterness,

it is nothing more than resistance to your blessings.

To your worthiness and an ignoring of the glory that is all about you.

 

Today.

And Always.

 

But you turn away.

You close your eyes,

just as you may choose to disregard this message and blame the economy,

the government,

the world crisis,

your health or another human.

you may blame your broken heart,

or your upbringing,

but all of that blame,

yes all of it,

is your resistance to your birth right of worthiness and well being.

 

You were not born to struggle.

You were not born to fear.

You were not born to live in such drama and pain.

 

Wellbeing is who you are.

Wellbeing is what life’s all about,

It is the natural flow of our lives as abundance in all things that we love, and bringing us joy are part of the natural tides of our lives.

 

So why do you resist your nature my love?

Why do you desire so to not live the glory that God wants for you and offers each moment?

Why do you keep fighting for your lack?

 

When all you ever need to do is say yes to your blessings.

Yes to you.

yes to everything that is always being offered to best support and love  you now.

 

Get out of your past failures and fears,

step away from the pain and know that you can put it down,

put your attention on what you want.

Bring your heart into alignment with joy.

Into alignment with love.

And let yourself triumph over the fear of yesterday.

 

You are a king.

You are a queen.

You are the creator of your day.

 

Today.

And Always.

 

So say goodbye to reasons and excuses.

Claim your life now,

the way that it has always been intended.

 

Say Yes — To YOU!

 

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

WATCH – You Want THIS But You Can’t Have It. Remember to like and leave a comment. 🙂

 

 

Take advantage right now of a lifetime opportunity to work with me in my intensive 4 week mastermind where you get to work 1:1 with me to learn the keys that I woke up to back in 2009 and changed my whole life outcome with.  Let me guide you through the weeds and to your garden luv, you know that you desire and deserve it. Let’s make it happen. Message me for deet’s