I Am Waiting For You. Stop Chasing Me. – A Message From Your Life.

There you are and here I am,
locked and anchored,
caught as one.

I see you wanting me.
I see you wanting all that you claim that you desire.
I see you craving, fighting for it and putting in the time.

But I don’t want you babe.
I don’t want your desperation,
I don’t want your fear and lack of worth.
It reeks, it is tainted and dark.
All I can see is your lack,
its like a smock that covers,
and you just choose to ignore.

So heavy.
So weighty.
So not true to your CORE.

You sit there and claim that you are tapped in,
you claim that you are ignited and turned on,
full of passion, play and courage.
You spout out statements like you know,
but it is clear my love,
you have no clue.

You are lost within yourself,
and until you wake the eff up and get real with WHO YOU ARE,
truly at your CORE,
you will continue to be lost.
You will not gain the riches, the wealth and abundance.
The JOY.

STOP CHASING ME!

Stop following,
stop pretending.
Those chameleon ways I see right through.
Your DNA does not lie.
No matter how much you change your words,
you smile,
you fake,
I still see who your are.
And in order for me to come to you,
YOU MUST FIRST KNOW YOUR CORE.

But you hide.
You hide under all of this falseness,
you create your smoke and mirrors,
not having a personality of your own,
not walking in your own shoes but of all those that you believe you can be,
but are not.
Such silly little games you play with your life.

Its clear my dear,
that you are not yet ready to receive.

And argue you may very well do.
Argue all you wish.

The truth is still the same.

When you are ready,
you will surrender,
not to me,
not to anyone,
but only to YOURSELF.

As long as you continue to search,
as long as you wake each morning in pursuit,
you will keep yourself away from me.

You seek more for where I am not,
then for where you can surrender to your truth.
And what you crave and look for will only come to be,
when you align to your CORE my love.

So when will you be ready?
When will you allow yourself to have the life that you desire and were born to live?

Because here I am….

LIFE.

YOUR LIFE.

Waiting for you beautiful.

To be ready.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

I know that you may be scared.
I have been in those shoes before all too many time.
But that fear is not going to stop you.
You are powerful.
Introducing 12- weeks of “Unstoppable Power – It’s My Time To Fly!”
This is a once in a life time to work with me 1:1 from anywhere in the world.
If you are a man or a woman who is looking for a powerful game-changing opportunity to claim the life that you desire in FAITH and learn how you can access your dreams quickly by releasing old programs based in fear and shame around your worthiness, joy and abundance then this 12-weeks is for you.
Stop letting everything be an excuse!
You deserve better than those reasons you have to stay trapped in your comfort bubble of suffering.
Let’s level up your life over summer.
Message me for deet’s or leave a comment here.

The Pendulum of Your Momentum Is Based In Your KNOWING.

It feels so great when at your core you KNOW,
not just think,
not just feel good,
but KNOW….
 
You know that feeling of knowing.
Knowing that it will happen.
Knowing that you have come through the toughest portion of something,
Knowing that it is down hill from here.
That you avoided being taken over by your fears,
Your doubts and that you GOT THIS THING.
 
It’s the THING that your SOUL cannot let you let go of.
It’s the THING that keeps you walking your path.
It’s the THING that scares the utter shiz out of you but also makes your feel more alive than anything else.
YES that THING.
 
And Now,
NOW you just KNOW.
You KNOW that you have it at your finger tips.
You can feel the shift of the momentum.
The pendulum was swinging the opposite direction before,
It use to feel like everything was wagered against you,
that you had no luck,
that your guardian angels all went to the bar and forgot about you or are laughing at your illusions of grandeur.
But NOW…..
 
Now there is something different going on.
You feel that beautiful.
That feeling of excitement.
That feeling of champagne bubbles in your gut,
that creative flow that is just lingering,
begging for you to play with it some more.
That feeling of joy.
That smile that you cannot let go of.
That giggle,
that tone change in your voice.
 
Yes YOU.
You are walking different now.
You are speaking different now.
You are showing up in your life with PURPOSE again.
 
It’s sort of like you rediscovered yourself.
 
Right?
 
I know.
I can feel it too beautiful.
You are radiant.
You are glowing.
Your turn on for all that you can give this world.
and for how life just simply LOVES you….
 
It’s all over you.
 
And it is your KNOWING,
that is causing it.
 
It is your passion,
It is your playfulness,
it is that radiant joy.
 
Yes that is the KNOWING.
It has been buried and hidden within your fear,
it has been covered by all the muck that you picked up on your journey,
those things that meant nothing,
but you chose to focus on anyway.
Yes you know the things.
 
Those very things,
they stole your momentum.
They took from you your joy.
They tossed you down another path.
And that path was comfortable,
was it not?
It felt familiar.
It felt like you had strolled there once before.
But as you walked it a bit,
your comfort in it reminded you of the suffering that it brought to you as well.
It was a path that was based on comfort,
based on average and ordinary.
It was your old path.
And old version of you.
 
But Beautiful you are far from that version anymore,
you no longer need to hide,
to fear or doubt.
and you KNOW this.
 
So here you are.
Feeling,
feeling confident and passionate,
tapping into your joy and play,
discovering a deeper version of who you are meant to be,
and reaching into yourself,
tapping into that SOUL that guides you.
Here you are,
facing your fear.
And instead standing in your KNOWING.
 
You got this!
 
Yes in deed you do.
So set aside anything that says else wise.
Keep your pendulum swinging into your abundance.
Keep it tilted to your SOUL alignment.
Listen to what your CORE says.
 
Here is where your momentum resides.
Here is where you gain your energy.
It’s all about YOU TAPPING IN.
And LETTING GO.
 
Yes you got this
Breathe beautiful.
Breathe it in and stay true.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
I know that you may be scared.
I have been in those shoes before all too many time.
But that fear is not going to stop you.
You are powerful.
Introducing 12- weeks of “Unstoppable Power – It’s My Time To Fly!”
This is a once in a life time to work with me 1:1 from anywhere in the world.
If you are a man or a woman who is looking for a powerful game-changing opportunity to claim the life that you desire in FAITH and learn how you can access your dreams quickly by releasing old programs based in fear and shame around your worthiness, joy and abundance then this 12-weeks is for you.
Stop letting everything be an excuse!
You deserve better than those reasons you have to stay trapped in your comfort bubble of suffering.
Let’s level up your life over summer.
Message me for deet’s or leave a comment here.

Step The F-ck Into Your Life Ans STOP Making Excuses.

Get off your A*s and Get VIBING the way you know you need too.
 
When are you going to get sick and tired of being sick and tired of not living the life that you want?
 
You do realize that the ONLY thing preventing you from having it the way you want it is YOU.
 
It is those damn thoughts of sabotage and fear.
Those beliefs that you are not worthy.
The objections of not having enough money, time or support….
Energy.
 
This is what is holding you back.
It clearly tells God and Universal forces that you are not yet ready to call it in.
It says that you are more content being comfortable in your suffering then committing to what you claim you desire to have for a life.
 
The only question that you every really need to ask yourself on this topic is,
 
” Am I ready to get ready?”
 
And until you are ready to get ready,
you will not have.
 
It is that simple beautiful.
Until you are ready to commit,
and stop your blaming and excuse making,
you will continue to have exactly what you have RIGHT NOW.
 
And if you are not happy with what your life is RIGHT NOW,
then tough.
 
Because obviously you want it to remain the same.
 
You have settled into it and you have made it home.
Perhaps you find some value or excitement in the settling,
the drama that you muster up to make yourself feel alive.
Or the stories that you manifest into your reality to give reason as to WHY you cannot or do not have.
 
You can continue to point out into this world,
and proclaim that you are not THRIVING because of this or that,
or you can find the spaces in your life that you do have it happening.
 
Its all about:
COMMITMENT
FOCUS
APPRECIATION
ACTION
SOUL
 
 
When you get these things,
when you slow down and tap into the messages that you are getting every day from your SOUL,
when you COMMIT to the inner work, and the listening to SOUL,
When you choose to FOCUS on what you want instead of the not having of what you want,
When you APPRECIATE all that you do have,
And when you choose to take ACTION toward what you want,
 
Then you will CALL IT INTO CREATION.
 
Because the universe will bend to your will.
You can command in everything that you desire with a short time frame.
You are WORTHY and POWERFUL.
And what you want, wants you too.
 
But you have to take the first step in FAITH.
 
BABY YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR A*S ON THE LINE AND STEP THE F-CK IN ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!
 
This is you getting ready to get ready.
 
Most will continue to choose to not step in.
That is the small minded, sheeple of our world.
That is the way of the Average and Ordinary,
In the box thinkers.
 
These same souls will never know the JOY and ABUNDANCE that this life can offer.
 
They will never taste the FREEDOM.
And they will die with REGRET.
 
But that is not you!!!!
 
You are a crusader.
You are a powerful soul who desires to THRIVE.
You insist on greatness from life and from yourself.
And you feel it deep in your core.
It keeps you up at night.
It pains you to see yourself caving to the average way of thinking and being.
You KNOW that God gave you a purpose and you feel like you will loose your life if you die with this music still in you.
 
So what are you waiting for beautiful?
 
Say YES,
Say F-ck YES! To YOU RIGHT NOW.
 
Claim Your Life Today and step the f-ck in.
 
All the way in.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers
 
I know that you may be scared.
I have been in those shoes before all too many time.
But that fear is not going to stop you.
You are powerful.
Introducing 12- weeks of “Unstoppable Power – It’s My Time To Fly!”
This is a once in a life time to work with me 1:1 from anywhere in the world.
If you are a man or a woman who is looking for a powerful game-changing opportunity to claim the life that you desire in FAITH and learn how you can access your dreams quickly by releasing old programs based in fear and shame around your worthiness, joy and abundance then this 12-weeks is for you.
Stop letting everything be an excuse!
You deserve better than those reasons you have to stay trapped in your comfort bubble of suffering.
Let’s level up your life over summer.
Message me for deet’s or leave a comment here.

Stop Claiming Your So Truthful When You Really Are Hiding.

Scared to say NO!
You are afraid of facing potential confrontation,
you have painted an idea in your head that if you say no to someone about something that they will do further inquiry into why and you will have to get lost and caught up in the why, leaving the situation negative.
This fear of the negative has you feeling sick to your stomach, it has you nervous about speaking where you are at or possibly even having to admit that you are NOT READY.
 
You know that feeling.
We all have had it.
We all at points go through an inner struggle in saying no.
Because we have been raised to believe that its wrong in some fashion to not always be a yes,
and so we choose to disregard and ignore instead of standing in our TRUTH and be a no.
 
The issue with this is that we are not in true alignment.
It is not about your yes or your no.
It has NEVER been about what you answer.
It is ONLY about SOUL ALIGNMENT.
 
And when you choose to disregard and ignore instead of facing your true answer to something you STEP OUT OF ALIGNMENT.
 
That feeling in the pit of your stomach when you ignore something or someone when they are asking for your help,
asking for a decision,
for direction,
for anything from you and you just “PRETEND” and hide,
like you did not hear them or see what they were asking,
 
KEEPS YOU OUT OF YOUR TRUTH.
 
And when you are not living from this place of truth,
you are not vibrating at your highest potential.
 
You are BLOCKING YOUR POWER.
 
You may be wondering why things are not manifesting for you the way that you desire in your finances, your love life, your health or success or any other area,
but have you stopped long enough to see where YOU are holding your manifesting power back?
 
Can you honestly look yourself in the eye’s and say that you have acted and spoken from your most genuine space of being?
 
Can you say that you have been in integrity with self first and thus with others as well?
 
Have you taken on the challenge of stepping into your AUTHENTIC ANSWERS?
 
Or are you being like so many others who just ignore and hide.
 
Your life picture will tell you where you are at on this.
What are you wanting to create in your life?
Have you been settling for inauthentic answers and showing up in life or have you been stepping fully the f-ck in and being true?
 
Here is the thing beautiful,
it is okay to say no.
It is okay to not always be a yes.
 
Matter a fact in your acceptance of not always being a yes to everything and everyone else,
you actually are
 
💃💃💃BEING A YES TO YOU.💃💃💃
 
And you beautiful are the most important person in your life.
 
You are the ONLY person that you “should” ever be a yes too.
 
It does not matter how much you like or love someone else,
it does not matter how much they make you think you owe them something,
it does not matter how great a deal it is,
it does not matter what you “promised,”
it does not matter how hard you or they worked on it,
none of that matters.
 
Whatever the reason you are coming up with as to why you should say an inauthentic yes….
 
No matter what the reason,
as long as you are NOT IGNORING OR HIDING from your TRUTH,
but in turn standing the f-ck up and saying your authentic answer,
then your authenticity will set your manifesting power free.
 
SO often people come to me as ask,
 
“Kendal, what am I doing wrong? I am working so hard at manifesting things but nothing is coming through from me. Why?”
 
My response is always the same,
 
“Where are you not being you?”
 
And often this not being you is simply you not standing in your truth.
 
Not saying yes or no and meaning it.
Not speaking ( not just thinking – but actually saying out loud or in written word) your truth.
 
When you hide….
You hide not just from the fear of confrontation ( which FYI is most likely imagined anyway)
but you also end up hiding from your power to create the life that you want.
 
REALIZE THIS🤯
 
Hiding is giving your power away to fear.
 
So STOP THAT SHIZ!!!!!
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

It’s Time to STOP Effing Around and Listen to SOUL.

DCIM100SPORT
If you really wanted it then you would have it wouldn’t you?
 
And it feels like you are wanting it.
It feels like you are operating from your core.
It feels like you should just be living that life that you feel so called to live,
and yet you are not.
 
How can it be so?
Why is it that you just keep tackling problem after problem and not seeming to make way to what you really want for your life?
 
It’s because you are not ready beautiful.
You simply are not yet ready.
 
But you could be ready,
if you really wanted to that is.
 
The only challenge with being ready is YOU.
 
??????????
 
Yeah YOU are your challenge.
 
You have to….
 
1. Make a effing decision to be ready.
2. Stop stopping yourself from being ready with all your petty little reasons and fears.
3. Stop thinking you will have the germination time that you have deemed for yourself.
4. Allow yourself to receive the opportunities that will lead you to what you want.
 
 
This all means that you need to start listening beautiful.
 
But to whom?
 
Well sure as f-ck not to everyone who has not walked in yours shoes.
 
And not those who are less successful than yourself.
And not to your fear.
Or your doubts or any of those negative thoughts that you are thinking.
 
 
No.
 
Don’t listen to that shiz!
 
 
Do Listen to YOUR SOUL.
 
If you have not a clue or maybe just a faint clue as to what I am speaking of when I say SOUL…
 
It’s that quiet little voice.
It’s that nagging at your core.
It’s that desire,
that hunger that will not leave you.
It’s that knowing that points out the opportunities, the synchronicity and coincidences.
It’s the reactions that your body and emotions are trying to make you more aware of.
 
 
This is SOUL.
 
Your SOUL.
 
And if you want to have that THING,
That thing that you have been wanting for so long.
That lifestyle that your heart craves for yourself,
for your children,
your family,
your people.
 
Well that THING, wants you to pay attention to what will lead you to it.
 
Your SOUL.
 
It’s the path of least resistance beautiful.
Its the path that will feed you,
fulfill you, and bring you joy.
 
But you have to WANT IT.
 
And in your wanting of it you will be asked to focus on it.
You be required to do the inner mindset and emotional harmonizing work that you need to do.
You be required to make yourself available for what you are wanting.
And if you are not doing this,
then you will not have it until you do these things.
 
Until you are ready.
No matter how much you b*tch, moan and complain,
no matter how much suffering you choose to go through,
you will not get access to your dreamed life UNTIL you are READY.
 
And to be ready, you must show up.
You must open up.
You must be available and take advantage of the opportunities that show themselves to you and ask for your commitment.
 
Because if your SOUL tells you to take on that commitment,
that opportunity,
then that is YOUR SOUL guiding you to your highest and best.
That is your soul leading you on your path to your truth.
To your best life.
 
The question only comes down to the question of,
 
WILL YOU LISTEN TO SOUL?
 
Or will you continue to ignore?
 
You know what ignoring or half a*s listening has gotten you so far….
 
Why not try something new?
 
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

This is why life is not working for you.

I hear often from people that they love my open, authentic, unapologetic fashion and way of being. So many people come to me and say, “Wow, Kendal I can’t imagine being so out there like you are on these topics. How do you do it?”
 
The truth of my being is this and of my reality as I create it.
I have to be open, authentic and unapologetic in my messaging, coaching and just simply living. If I were being any other way I would not be me.
 
And I don’t try to be like anyone else.
Because there is ONLY one me.
 
I use to sit around and twiddle my thumbs and desire to have or be or do things that someone else was doing. I wanted for this or that person’s life. I would dream about living in the freedom and flexibility of how those I followed and looked up to were living.
 
What I discovered was that in my wanting I was also searching.
 
I was searching for WHO I WAS.
 
I had an identity issue.
I took on other peoples ideas, concepts and roles that they had for me.
I took on the perceptions and images that I was seeing were successful for others.
I would mimic their attitude, their facial expressions, the way they sat or moved their hands and even the things they said and how they said it.
I would mimic their very beliefs.
 
I would mimic anything I could.
 
And to a degree it was good.
Because I was being a student,
I was hungry to learn.
To grow and to discover what worked.
I wanted change.
I wanted to find myself.
And in wanting that I searched through exploration and trying on other peoples personalities and habits.
 
Unfortunately, after a bit of learning all these amazing habits and ways of being, I felt even more lost. I started to loose the luster for life, for my work, the way I was existing and living.
 
I was exhausted.
And my body and emotions were screaming it loud and clear as I started to fall apart at the seams.
 
Why was this?
 
Why in my improving of myself,
in my exploration and focus of taking on better habits,
habits of success and abundance in ways I saw it working was my very body and being fighting me?
 
Here is the issue with what I was doing and perhaps you can relate a tad to my tale today. The answer was pretty simple….
 
I was withering away because I was not being TRUE TO ME.
 
Sure i had some great habits.
I had some awesome beliefs.
I was doing the work.
I was invested in my change.
 
But I was FIGHTING MY TRUTH.
 
And when we play pretend for too long,
our SOUL get’s sick and tired of our nonsense and it decides to give us a wake up call.
 
Get in alignment or else.
 
We can learn from others.
and in order to fully tap into who we are each meant to be,
we MUST BE STUDENTS.
 
We must learn to adapt certain traits and successful mindset programs,
but it must be done without the loss of our SOUL.
 
How can I message, coach and live so open, authentically and unapologetically the way that I do?
 
How can I speak from this real and raw place from deep within and look you in the eye with love and acceptance while revealing intimate aspects of who I am?
 
Because I CHOSE TO FIND MYSELF.
I made a decision to BE ME.
I COMMITTED to stop mimicking everyone else in hopes that their way was my way and that it/them would save me.
 
I decided that I was the most important person in my life and that in order for me to serve this world the best way I could and to THRIVE in life, to have my dreams and desires manifest that I had to simply let go of any desire to try and be something or someone that I was not.
 
I stopped caring what the world thought of me.
I put down the fears,
the concerns and worries of loosing people in my life if I decided to just be me.
I got real with myself.
And I fell in love with who I was.
WHO I AM.
 
If life is not manifesting the way you want it.
If your abundance is falling short like your time, your energy and your focus, then perhaps its time that you stop the insanity of playing the roles that you have painted for yourself in the image of another and just BE YOU.
 
I know how scary that may sound.
I know that you may have no real clue as to who you are even.
But realize that these obstacles are nothing more than a mirage to your truth.
Don’t let your SOUL light burn out because you are too scared to pull back the curtains on your life and reveal your beauty,
your thoughts,
your feelings,
your opinions,
and ideas.
 
You know who you are.
You just have to be willing to slow down enough to spend time with yourself to feel into yourself.
 
And then have the COURAGE to make yourself the most important person in your life.
 
Do this and watch miracles and abundance in all juicy good things flood into your here and now.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

TRAUMA GREW MY ROSE GARDEN AND GRATITUDE WATERS IT.

TRAUMA GREW MY ROSE GARDEN AND GRATITUDE WATERS IT.

Today is a really interesting day for me.
It marks my one year of one of the most traumatic events I have had happen in a relationship so far. It also marks my one year of a massive transformation period, new growth and opportunity blended with trauma and needed healing.

Today I sit here at Starbucks after dropping my youngest son off to his father ( the man I fell out of relationship a year ago today).
It was brutal to drop him off today.
My heart actually still hurts from this mornings exchange.

Our son age four, ran to the back seat of my car as we pulled into daddy’s driveway and he screamed, “I don’t want to go to daddy’s house.” he got so frustrated, clung to the rear seat with all the force his little body could muster and screamed, “No Mommy.”

I grabbed him up, hugged him. Told him that I loved him and that I would see him later today and then he would be back at mommy’s house on Wednesday. He clung to my neck and fought profusely to hold on to me as his father took him out of my arms.

I never wanted any of this for my baby.
I don’t believe that any of us parents ever want this sort of emotional pain on our children. I don’t believe that my ex desires this trauma to come up on our son either.
And yet it still falls here.

Today, I find myself sitting here upset at my son’s pain.
Wishing I could do more for him.
Wishing that us adults who have brought this on him could have communicated better about what we wanted from each other and how we wanted out of our relationship before it came to violence as it did and a nasty, terrorizing breakup that will last a life time for our children emotionally not to mention the physical repercussions that are still being dealt with for myself.

I sit here still wondering how I could not have realized more so as to where my ex was at.
Wondering why he had to act out in violence and rage the way he did one year ago today.
Why it was so important for him to push me and all the children away with such extreme measures.
Why could he just not simply say that he wanted out and we move onto separate paths in peace and harmony, working together for the greatest good of all the children and each other.

I knew he was unhappy in our relationship.
I knew he wanted out.
He did not even desire to want to spend 30 minutes a week with me alone even though this had become a consistent request and desire of mine. He could not stomach to sit by me and watch TV, he wanted nothing to do with cuddling or sex that was two sided, only wanted to get off and be done. Would roll away in disgust after pushing me away like trash after he had reached climax.
He became rageful with friends and emotionally and physically aggressive toward his step-children. He was hateful and I told myself that he was stressed about work, money, health, anything but the truth was what I proclaimed.

The signs were there.
They were in front of my blind eyes and desire to make it all work for us.
The more committed I became to our relationship and requested time and connection,
the more he pushed away in anger.

And now,
a year later I see the truth.
I see his pattern that he had to enforce.
I see the pain that he must be in.
And I am grateful that even though that was a brutal time and experience,
even though there is still much healing that needs done for self and children.

I am grateful that I never lost who I was,
I never lost love,
I never lost my family or friends,
and I can do the healing and I understand at a deep level the power of emotions,
the importance of knowing self and NOT hiding from myself and feelings.
I am grateful that I was given a powerful opportunity last year to stand up and be 100% me.
The last year has offered me so many blessings that would have never come about had he not caved to his patterns and needs to push love away, to push so hard that he was the one to be abandoned in the experience by everyone. To repeat the trauma from his youth. And to create an experience that supported his belief that the feminine always leaves him.

I see now how he had to push that hard.
I am too stubborn to leave when I still love.
I believed it could be fixed,
I believed that he was not lying when he said that he loved me more than anyone else.
I strangely believed in us and in him.

But today,
today I stand in gratitude for the 7 years of learning,
of experience and growth,
for the birth of my two youngest angels that i would not trade for anything.

Today I stand here in gratitude for his push.
Busted up body and everything,
it was worth it.
Because I found my true strength.
I found my heart.
My SOUL.
And tapped into allowing myself, to be me without needing another.
There is great beauty in the darkest of clouds if you allow yourself to see it and you allow time to step you back far enough to see the whole sky and it’s beauty.

Life is one BIG TRUST EXERCISE.
And today,
I am reminded of the trust and faith that I had to muster up at one of my lowest, scariest points in life so far.
Today, I choose to focus on that reminder.
To focus on the gratitude and the opportunities that have come from this event, like any event in our lives.
Today I choose to look at my blessed life.
The steady massive love that I experience from family, friends and the wonderful man I have in my life currently.
The AMAZING tribe that I have developed and all the growth that I am seeing in my business and life.
The wealth of connection, joy and the laughter that resides in my home daily that was not there a year ago or before.
My creativity at an all time high.
The beauty and bounty that is in each step on this journey.

Today I want to say THANK YOU to the man that tossed me to the side last year, who tried to destroy me and all that we had built together.
From that rubble grew a rose garden.

MY ROSE GARDEN.

Thank you for my pain.
Thank you for my suffering.
Thank you for the trauma.
Thank you for the goodbye.
I am so effing happy with my life TODAY!

My question to you that I share this with today is,
what are you doing with your trauma, drama and pain? Does it hold you back or build you up?

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.

I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.

But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.

Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.

Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.

What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?

You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

It’s Makes Your Feel Alive But It Steals Your Dreams.

You are broke.
You are lost.
You feel like there is no way out of the rut that you are in.
You keep thinking about your bills, your responsibilities and they are overwhelming. There is so much out pour to your current life picture. You are energetically, financially, emotionally in the red. And it seems that no matter what you attempt to do to get things moving the other direction,
it just turns too shiz.

You want so very badly to live a life where this worry and fear is no more.
You want to authentically smile and laugh again.
You have felt this joy.
This comfort, before.
There is still a faint flavor on your lips if you sit real still and let yourself taste it.
But there is no time to sit still.
There is no time to breathe.
There are only bills, and creditors, responsibilities and mouths to feed.

Everything you hear tells you to calm yourself.
All the spiritual texts tell you to steady yourself in your faith.
You want to believe that you have faith.
You know that it is somewhere inside of you.
But right now you are addicted to the fear.
You are addicted to the not having,
and you are caught in this crazy loop of emotion where you bounce from fearing of loosing everything and what are you going to do to prevent it from happening to okay I got this and then sadness over runs you and then anger about nothing working and no one caring, back to overwhelm and fear you go.

Your boat is sinking and the sharks are hungrily awaiting.
But what can you do.

You hear the advice.
You feel the call.
You logically get it, and yet not.
You doubt it.
You don’t truly believe that it is that simple,
and you do not believe it because you have not allowed yourself the time to reprogram your thoughts and beliefs.
You make these half ass attempts to do the work,
the true work,
the inner work.
But then you forget.
You get to busy, too caught up in this or that and you let the chaos over take you. All the while you internally stand in fear.

But that voice,
that quiet little voice of peace whispers to you.
I know you know the voice.
You don’t believe that it is correct,
but what if it is?

What if all you have had to do this entire time is to free fall into life.
What if all you ever had to do was the trust exercise.
Yes that’s what it is always about.
It is never about anything else beautiful.
It is just one big trust exercise.
God wants you to put your life in his hands.
God wants you to just rest in trust.

can you do that?
Do you have enough faith?
Does your desire, your dream life enough,
mean enough to TRUST?

Or…
Are you going to remain stubborn and sacrifice EVERYTHING?

The trust that God wants from you is not just to let go and do nothing,
No.
You still must apply yourself.
You still must take action.
You still must do the work.
The inner work.
The mindset work.
The emotional frequency work.
The action of opening up door ways,
accessing opportunities.
Saying YES to yourself.
And allowing your abundance to come to you.

This is what you have been resisting.
This is what you have been sacrificing.
And why?

Because you feel alive in your resistance.
The resistance makes you feel more,
want more, desire more.
Look at the adventures you are having in your resistance.
Look at what you are learning about your desire.
Look at the beauty of what you consider struggle.
You NEED to feel alive.
You need to find your alignment to everything that you want,
but to do this you MUST first know what you do not want.
You must learn to feel what your lack of resistance feels like.
By feeling your resistance.

And from this place of breathing in life.
feeling alive in what you are perceiving,
you get to learn more about your faith.
And letting go.

Yes God wants you to LET GO.
Let GO in faith,
and stop resisting your abundance.

Say YES to that SOUL CALL to take the action to do the THING that you know that you must do.

Stop the EXCUSES that you are making around doing the THING that you know you must do.

Know that it is selfish and irresponsible to NOT do the THING that you feel most called to do by SOUL.

When you SAY YES to what your SOUL leads and guides you to do, no matter how crazy, silly or irresponsible it may feel, if it is SOUL led,
then it will support your abundance. It will open you to less and less resistance.

But this is having FAITH.
This is standing in SOUL GUIDANCE.

Are you willing to leap?
Are you willing to listen to your soul’s call and guidance?

Will you SAY YES to your abundance and stop making excuses?

Or will you settle for what you have been creating as your norm?

The choice is yours.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.

I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.

But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.

Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.

Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.

What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?

You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

GO IN EASE – RESISTANCE IN FUTILE.

GO IN EASE – RESISTANCE IS FUTILE
 
You hold on for dear life.
You know that you just need to let go,
you know how important it is to your whole future,
to your success, your love, your happiness, your fulfillment.
And yet you find yourself white knuckling everything.
Holding on with a fierce grip to everything that you know at your core is holding you back, preventing you from living life fulling out loud and unapologetic the way that SOUL demands of you.
You ponder the questions,
you look deep within, and you sit and analyze.
In all your questioning you find yourself even more lost then when you got started. And to make matters even worse you also can now see your fault in everything.
You can see how you are the cause for your suffering.
You pain, your lack of not having. It is in no one else’s hands but your very own and you see it clearly. But, still do not know how to let go.
 
And so you blame.
You feel shame for the things that you are causing,
that you are allowing, and for how you are not stepping fully the f-ck into your life.
You feel guilt for letting those you love down,
and have trouble looking yourself in the eye’s in the morning.
You want to run, you desire to hide.
You have thoughts of quitting.
You feel as though everything you touch turns to crap.
And yet still you hold onto everything you have with gusto.
 
The more you squeeze the life out of your dreams and goals,
the more you try and force them to manifest.
You dig in deeper,
you root your heals into the earth and you proclaim that you will work harder, show up more often, try new things, refocus your energy this way or that.
You feel the call at your core to simply LET GO.
You know that this can all be dealt with in no time flat.
Miracles are at your door step asking to be received,
but you turn them away because YOU MUST WORK FOR THIS THING. YOU MUST EARN IT.
 
You hear the words of ease and flow.
You believe it for everyone but YOU.
You see it working.
But you cave to your addiction of looking for the results and applying all your focus on what is not showing up.
Only turn inward and get angry, upset and depressed at your actions, at what you are causing.
 
This is all your fault and you know it at your core.
 
Those negative thoughts,
that doubt and fear.
They yell at you in the damnedest of times,
it’s hard to laugh, to play, to enjoy.
It difficult to enjoy the connection, the love, the support.
You see it.
You are grateful for it.
But it is fleeting.
Much like your faith in yourself.
But what is strong is your disgust.
Your anger and fear.
These negative emotions they know how to comfort you.
They support you,
or so it feels.
And you lay down with them and curl up in their arms.
Promising yourself that you will stop doing this.
Assuring yourself that you will do the damn thing that you know that you MUST DO, to have the life that is calling to you.
 
Your SOUL is crying out.
And you feel even more lost,
even in the comfort of this suffering you know that you are lost. You know that it is not suppose to be this hard.
You know that the challenge is self-created.
 
And to LET GO is the only thing that you must do.
In letting go, you will discover all your power, you will commit to who you truly are.
Here you will discover your natural way,
and get caught in the currents of abundance and love.
You will have no resistance,
because you have FINALLY chosen what you have always known and finally done the damn thing that has been calling to you.
 
It is this moment.
It is this moment where you find yourself on your knees,
your eye’s are welled up with tears and your hands are open wide.
Here you are FINALLY READY to be READY to receive.
And God desires to open the heavens to you beautiful.
 
Your first step to this SURRENDER is to go in ease with yourself.
 
Realize that you are human,
that you have an ego,
that you are learning how these moments,
like all moments are opportunities to know yourself better,
to heal deeper and to open wider.
The first step to your path has always been,
and will always remain the same,
BE IN EASE.
 
The ease of embracing yourself.
The ease of surrendering to your flow.
The ease of opening and receiving.
The ease of accepting that this too shall pass.
The ease of NOT making mountains out of mole hills.
The ease of just BEING YOU.
 
Let go in EASE Beautiful.
Let go and let your SOUL move you to your next step.
Let SOUL bring you to the path that will have the least amount of resistance.
Let go and watch the miracles form.
 
Let go of that death grip that YOU have on your heart and soul. On your dreams and goals.
On your abundance.
Your joy.
 
You ,
yes you are smothering yourself.
And ONLY YOU can let go.
But you must do it in EASE.
Have compassion beautiful for yourself.
Give love to yourself for walking the journey that you have.
 
You are YOU because of the steps that you have walked.
Appreciate each and every one.
And LET GO.
God has your back.
 
As Always
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful.
It’s time that you accept your worth,
and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful,
that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

Why Is She So Perfect?

Radiant.
Glowing.
Smiling and happy.
 
Why is she so perfect?
In love with life,
and life is in love with her.
The gift of life.
The gift of joy,
of family, community and love.
The gift to be able to provide a moment to those she loves.
 
Yes she is so perfect.
She is you and you are her.
She lives within your soul.
She asks to be seen,
more of then all that you often choose to share.
Her light,
her wisdom,
her happiness.
Desire to be seen.
Her heart wants nothing more than your embrace,
To touch and love,
to sing and dance.
 
Yes she is so perfect.
 
That angelic light, radiating from deep within.
It hides nothing,
reveals everything.
and is ignited by life.
Her wings are bold,
their spread is wide.
They carry her hopes, her dreams and aspirations.
They protect and nurture,
they support and shield.
Her wings,
are yours.
Embrace them and fly.
 
Why is she so perfect?
She is you and you are her.
United forever but must be revealed.
The soul of an angel,
the passion of a beast.
The wisdom of sages,
the courage of a warrior.
 
Why is she so perfect?
I will tell you her secret.
I will share right here.
 
She is perfect.
Yes indeed.
Because she is WHO YOU ARE.
She is SOUL.
She is TRUTH.
But to listen beautiful,
you must allow.
You must surrender and learn to love once again.
You must open and be flexible,
you must not desire to hide no more.
You must find your FAITH once more,
to spread those wings,
to shine that light.
You must step into WHO YOU ARE.
 
She is perfect.
She is you and you are her.
A divine and beautiful creature.
When tapped in and turned on,
You Ignite this dark World
You bring hope and joy to all those you touch,
they flock to you,
they hunger to hear your words,
to be touched by your message
and lifted up to theirs.
 
Yes, she is perfect.
because she is daring.
Because she loves true.
Because she knows herself.
Because she fears but does not hide.
Because she doubts but does not quit.
Because she looks into her eye’s,
she see’s her pain,
she see’s her fear,
she’ rests in FAITH.
 
She is perfect.
She is you and you are her.
But First beautiful,
YOU MUST BELIEVE.
 
Rest in your surrender to SOUL.
Find comfort in your raw vulnerability.
Passion in your courage and fear.
And footing in the LEAP YOU ARE TAKING.
 
Leap Beautiful,
Leap and free fall,
for your wings were designed to catch you,
you and this dark world,
that you are meant to lift up.
To share.
To teach.
To spread the light and love.
Yes leap beautiful.
 
Leap and Trust in Your Wings.
 
——————— 🙌 ——————————–
 
This picture I share today is a snipped pic from a video that my daughter took two years ago. She put the title of “Why is she so Perfect” on the video and across the stream. To feel my daughters love and adoration like this is one thing, but my realization in her share of this memory is one I had to share with YOU today.
 
I write this message above for me.
I write it for you too beautiful.
Female or male, ‘we are all beautiful.
We are all worthy.
We all have a message.
And my message never changes to you.
 
It STAND UP, SPEAK OUT, and THRIVE.
 
Accept your worth.
Accept your power.
Accept WHO YOU ARE.
 
 
And Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Imagine letting go of your fear,
letting go of your shame.
What would your life be like if you were working with a mentor that could help you level up your life and let go of all those things that no longer serve you?
What would you like to release? Let go of and create for your EMPOWERED Life?
 
Let’s talk.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Coaching today.