Stop Lieing To Yourself- You Are Poly-monogomish FOREVER!

Poly-monogomish FOREVER!
Can’t help it.
Just the way I am wired.
This identification does not mean that I won’t be monogamous.
It does not mean I will cheat or get bored.
It does not mean that I believe I need more
or are unhappy in anyway.
It simply means that I love relationship.
Value intimacy.
And stand firm with my integrity.

It means that those I choose to be in relationship with hold an eternal and special space in my heart.
That if my soul leads me to engage in any fashion,
To explore another being however called too,
That I embrace this pull and understand that it is perfect and meant to be, without question.

Many believe that to be polyamorous means that you desire sex with multiples.
That you are dating and being physically intimate with many.
But what polyamorous truly means is to have love and to embrace love and relationship with more than one.
Anyone who has more that one child,
Has more than one friend,
Loves both parents,
And all thier siblings,
Is engaging in a polyamorous loving.

Many years ago a dear friend of mine looked at me and said,
” You are living a polyamorous lifestyle in everyway but your sex. Perhaps you should explore it.”

His words rang so very true to my core.
And he was accurate in his view.
So I ventured onto the sexual path of polyamory and all it could intale.

Now this is not a personal share of the romance, sexing and relations of multiple lovers.
Its also not a share on how amazing polyamory is or how fucked up it can be.

But it is a share on acceptance.
On embracing who you are at your core regardless of what the norms of society say they should be.
Its a post on knowing yourself enough to allow your own happiness to flow.
And to even ASK for it.

Its a share based on living authentically.
In integrity.
And not just using these words because they feel good or make you sound like an awakened soul.
No.
But to actually LIVE by them.

Yes what I share here is about living in conscious surrender to your HAPPINESS.

And to communicate your needs.
To communicate where you are at in any relationship.
Its a share about what loving self and having self respect really means.
Its a share about your truth.
Its about you not wanting to accept that you are polyamorous just like me.
The only difference is your lack in comfort to speak what you want.
What you need.
What you desire.
And your unwillingness to see WHO YOU ARE.
Living blind to all the love that you give.
To all the people that you care about.
That you are in relationship with.
Or that you wish to someday be.

Yes I am poly- monogamous ALWAYS.
I am polyamorous in my life in all ways.
Those seen and those only felt.
I make a decision in moments of my relationship experience to be monogamous or not.
But the S-E-X,
the sex never has anything to do with it.
Outside of a desire to connect, be seen, or enjoy self or another at a more raw level.
Its never about the orgasm.
Its always about the love.
The connection.
The happiness.

And the greatest happiness and deepest connection comes from integrity.

Integrity with self.
With God.
And with others.

The ultimate self love and respect as well comes from this place of not hiding.
Not story telling.
But breathing in ones own TRUTH.

And when we can do this.
We can also elevate our relationships.
Our love.
Our sex.
Our understanding.

As Always
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

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What You Are Accpeting For Your Norm, Is NOT Who You Are.

It’s not your NORM.
But it feels like it is.
It may be common,
it may be abundant in your life,
But I swear to you…

It’s not your NORM.

And what am I referring too?
I am referring to that feeling of anger.
That feeling of fear.
That feeling of judgment, bitterness, shame, guilt,
Or even questioning.

Your worry is not normal.
Your suffering is not normal.
No matter how prevalent it may seem,
It’s still is not your NORM.

I tell you this with certainly,
That when you feel out of sorts,
when you are caught in negative emotion,
When you feel rageful, vengeful and vindictive.
This is not normal.
This is not who you are.

You sit in such comfort with your chronic ideas of what just is. Accepting life for how you have been told to view it. You watch your life drift by never fully engaging with ALL that you are.

Always searching for happiness,
But only ever gaining small morsels of it at best.

Believing that the drama is normal.
That its just how life is.

But you KNOW at your core its not true.
You know because you are looking for who you are always. You feel the seperation from your truth.
From your SOUL.

There is this strange calling inside of you.
A feeling of something more.
A sensation of your greatness.
But you are trapped under the misery that feels like the reality you must live.

It’s not your NORM.
Your norm is that of love.
Of feeling good.

Now that may sound a bit 60’s flowers child for you.
A little too new age even.
But its the actual truth of who you are and what your state of normal is to be and always is at your SOUL level.
The discord you feel is simply because you are not looking at any given situation through the eyes of God or SOUL. You are viewing it from the disadvantage point of forgetfulness of who YOU ARE.

You have turned your back and closed your eyes to love and THIS is what is causing your worry, fear and suffering.

But there is blessing in your pain

The blessing is the lesson of learning what you do mot want from life and the building of desire for what you do want.

All you need do to embrace the life you want so badly for is to STOP ACCEPTING this ill state of feeling.
Stop allowing yourself to fall prey to what you have always perceived as normal and instead see it for the blessing that it is.

There to reveal to you that you are out of alignment with SOUL.

That you are buying into a faulse reality instead of what is true and you are putting value on things that do not matter nearly as much as you believe.

Soul is not upset about that car cutting you off on the highway.
Soul is not upset that your child drew on the wall.
Soul is not upset that your spouse is not acting the way you want or think you need.
Soul is not upset that the government is doing what it is doing or that your friends said the things they said.

Soul knows that all happens for a reason.
That each event in life is stepping you closer to what you want and that the ONLY thing holding you back is this crazy concept of what you call normal.

Are you ready to embrace the truth?
Are you ready to finally say YES TO SOUL?
Then take the step needed.
The only step ever needed and let go of upur suffering.
Your worry and fear.
Your regrets and your shame.
Let go of your needing someone or something to be different then what it is.
Let go of your you negative vibe.
And JUST LET YOUR HEART BE FELT.
Your soul lead.

You know who you are.
Be you.

And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “`

It’s Your Stinking Thinking Luv!

STOP YOUR DAMN STINKING THINKING LUV.

You know what I mean

You are sitting around wanting.
Craving all those things.
Desiring a life you don’t currently have,
And thinking the way to achieve it is by focusing on the not having of it.

Thats such stinking thinking luv.
Its polluting up your mind and your feelings about everything that you have.

If you really want the life you currently don’t have then realize that the only fucking way to get what you want is to apply your focus to that, that you WANT.
And the FEELING of it.

But NO EFFING way will you do that, huh.
No thats not logical.
You have this problem.
This challenge before you.
You must FIX what is broken
You must PROVE you are worthy.

It can’t be that easy to just start feeling good.
Right now.
Right here.
In this very moment,
To make up your damn mind to LOVE your MOFO life just as it is and feel BLESSED.

No way can it be so simple to change your life by applying your focus to being how you want right now instead of looking somewhere else,
Someplace outside of who you are and what you have.
No your stinking thinking has you believing that your happiness,
Is something you must search for.
Something you must look outside yourself for.
Something that you must work for or show your worth for.

Your stinking thinking has you focused on giving up your power to this world outside yourself in hopes that by doing so you will achieve this elusive thing called HAPPINESS.

And the sad and funny truth is that happiness is not found in things or other people.
Its found in your heart luv.
Its found by you truly embodying YOU.
But you were never taught that.
You were never shown its safe to be you.
To feel you.
To show,
Express you.

Instead the lies and illusions of looking elsewhere were given to you and now the void within is so vast you feel lost.
Listless.
Empty.
You have the relationship,
The house and snazzy car.
You have the education.
The kids.
The dog.
The success and even money in the bank.
You have seen this world.
And you still FEEL empty as fuck!
You still feel lost in who you really are and it all just seems pointless at best most days.

Oh luv,
You are so beautiful in your misgivings of this thing called life.
You are so simple in you desire for happiness and fullness.
But its your MOFO stinking thinking thats making it all so complicated.
So disheartening and making you miss the richness you already possess.

Yes luv.
You are RICH.
YOU are ABUNDANT.
And happiness is within you.

Will you CHOOSE to see and feel it or will you continue to give your power and joy away to the illusions and grandeur of this world that tells you to focus on the problems,
The pain.
The lack.

Whats your decision luv?

And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

I AM POWERFUL… But I Can’t Do THAT.

I AM POWERFUL.
I AM THE CREATOR OF MY WORLD.
I AM MY OWN BOSS.
I AM ALIGNED.
 
BUT….
I can’t do that.
 
Yeah THAT thing that you suggested.
THAT thing that scares me a little, that shakes my soul.
THAT thing that is calling me.
THAT thing that is appealing, that pulls me, but cost money.
THAT thing where I step out of this comfort.
THIS comfort of all that I AM.
THIS comfort that holds me right here, in the NOW.
THIS eternal NOW.
This eternal NOW that I desepratly crave to change,
because it does not feed me.
It does not satsify my soul.
It is NOT me.
And yet, I AM.
 
I AM…
 
I cannot say it.
I will not admit it.
I will avoid it at all cost.
Instead let’s discuss my limitations.
Hear my plea for these beautiful, justifiable limitations.
You see them.
You see my struggle.
You know I am not making these up.
 
Yes these are what rule me.
These are my obstacles.
These are my burdens, my wounds and my chains.
Yes, that is the comfort that I cannot let go of.
That is the comfort that I will argue for.
That is what I CHOOSE for my NOW.
 
BUT…
I can’t do that.
 
I can’t do this.
I can’t.
 
Do you understand?
Do you see my struggle.
Do you feel my soul, my heart.
 
I want so badly to be aligned.
I crave to have the life that I know is for me.
I want to feel my power.
My worthiness.
I want to love myself.
I want to be SEEN.
 
THIS expression of me that I AM right now,
THIS is not me.
And yet, it is.
 
Because I allow it.
Beacause I am use to it.
It is familiar.
It is safe,
even in its misery,
it is still all I know.
And therefore I believe that it is so.
When you tell me that I can be so much more than THIS.
When you look through to my CORE,
and you witness my light and smile,
I want to run and at the same time I want to strip myself further down,
to be fully revealed.
To embrace ALL THAT I AM.
 
And this finite version of me that I am familiar with and allow all to see,
this version it needs to be embraced and expanded.
I do not long to run from this version,
to hide it, or destroy it,
but to encorporate it into all THAT I AM.
 
It’s funny is it not?
But it is already so.
I AM already every piece of what I desire to be.
There is no encorporation to achieve.
But instead all that is required,
all that ever is required,
is to ALLOW.
 
And to KNOW….
THAT I AM POWERFUL.
 
But in order to fully become what I already AM….
I must let go all the practicle defiance of all THAT I AM.
 
And that means I must STOP making excuses.
I must own WHO I AM.
I must FEEL my worthiness without a need to prove anything.
I must step forward and push these false boundaries of time, money and space.
Of health, support and focus.
 
Yes.
I must command my universe to open itself to my expansion.
I must step forward into trusting all THAT I AM.
And NOW…
NOW I KNOW.
 
I must make what is familiar unfamiliar,
and what is unfamiliar familiar.
 
THIS…
THIS is my path.
 
I AM POWERFUL.
NO MORE EXCUSES- JUST ACCEPTANCE.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time for you to say yes to who you really are beautiful. It s time for you to commit to who you are,
to your soul and say YES.
Let’s work together 1:1 to bring you into the next decade of your life, the next year of your life fully embodied and activated.
Message me for deets on 1:1 coaching now.

Exhaustion is a CHOICE.

YOU WORK FOR YOURSELF SO YOU HAVE ALL THE TIME THAT YOU NEED.
 
 
And other statements that show that you have no comprehension of life or the power of manifesting.
 
My entire life I have dealt with people telling me something.
Assuming something.
And thinking that they have it worse or better than I do.
 
The reality is that no matter where you are at in life,
there will ALWAYS be someone in worse shoes,
and someone in better shoes,
than yours.
 
You cannot go through life concerned about other people’s shoes.
 
Or choices.
Or time.
 
But to look at another person’s situation and use it to show WHY YOU CANNOT do what you need is crazy AF!
 
Yet this is a common occurrence.
 
Every week I work with people who come and sit down with me for coaching,
they tell me their tough stories on how they got to where they are at,
they paint pictures of suffering, fear and anxiety.
They paint pictures of how hard life is.
And how much they hope for.
They tell me their grand faith and love they have,
about their desires and dreams.
They affirm a strong commitment.
 
And then….
 
They say,
“Yeah, but how long is this going to take?”
 
“You just don’t understand, I have kids and a corporate job. I don’t have the time or the energy. I am exhausted.”
 
And they say this as though they should get some medal for living an exhausting life.
 
They believe that this is just how success is.
How life is.
and what is to be expected.
They also assume that the anxiety, depression, frustration and constriction…
 
the sacrificing of their dreams and selves is what a smart, responsible person should do.
 
NOTHING could be farther from the truth though.
 
This way of thinking and feeling holds you in a scarcity mindset and thus keeps you living a life of poverty. You may have money, but if you are exhausted and empty you are actually POOR AF.
 
As Brene Brown would say,
“It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.”
 
And exhaustion leads you to anxiety.
It leads you to depression and hopelessness.
 
Exhaustion creates a massive void in who you are.
 
It is no status symbol,
it is a premature death sentence,
and you don’t have to be 6 feet under to be dead baby.
 
What you get is an UNLIVED LIFE.
 
Just think about that one for a second if you have the mental focus to do such after this long ass day.
 
Are you among the norm out there of this world?
 
Like most people who have two lives…
 
The one you are living and the one you keep denying?
 
The Unlived Life.
 
The reality is babe…
 
YOU GET TO CHOOSE.
 
The reason I have the energy and vitality for the life that I am creating is simply because I have chosen to LIVE not just get by and exist.
 
I have had years,
even a decade or two that I chose otherwise and that shiz almost killed me.
 
My SOUL was like WTF! We are outta here if you keep this shiz up girl.
 
And I had to CHOOSE LIFE.
Or say goodbye.
 
Sure I work for myself,
I make my own schedule,
I decide my value in my fee’s.
I have no thumb on me.
I have freedom and flexibility.
TIME.
 
And with all of that comes responsibility.
Dedication.
Commitment.
Desire.
 
I choose to focus on what I want to create and therefore it gets created.
 
A long time ago I said that I wanted to be a full time mommy.
That I did not want my children to have to go to daycare and be raised by someone else.
 
I also said that I wanted to provide home cooked meals for my children 80-90% of the time.
 
I also said that I valued dating my children, all 7 of them.
Spending 1:1 time with them.
I also said that I wanted to take them on experiences,
to adventure together, to laugh, read, play…
 
And that I wanted this frequently.
 
Now on the other side of things I said that I wanted to make a multi-six figure income.
That I wanted to build an empire.
I wanted to teach masses of people.
I wanted to work with the 1%.
 
I said that I wanted to look good and feel great as I age.
I said that I wanted to be healthy.
That I wanted to travel – A LOT.
 
I said that I wanted all of it and desired for more.
Knowing that my desires would grow as I created more and more of the life that I wanted.
 
I share this with you to make the point that I get busy.
Busy life.
Ton’s happening.
Chaos.
Drama.
It’s all part of the picture.
And being center hub for a bunch of people can be EXHAUSTING…
 
LOL.
 
The thing is that any of us can have a truly amazing, fulling life if we DECIDE to actually commit to LIVING.
 
This means to put the focus not on always working,
not making all those bills and creditors,
your boss or employee’s,
your clients,
the football game or candy crush,
more important than your Mother-effing Life!
 
Because that is just being average and ordinary.
And you are NOT THAT LUV!
 
You are EXTRAORDINARY.
 
So Own It!
 
And Live accordingly.
 
Are you living in alignment to WHO YOU REALLY ARE?
Or are you settling for something less than…
 
Be Real…
 
And Remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for deet’s on my 1:1 global coaching opportunities today. Limited private coaching opportunities available.
 
 
 

YOUR NEGATIVE FEEDBACK SHOWS JUST HOW OUT OF ALIGNMENT YOU TRULY ARE.

YOUR NEGATIVE FEEDBACK SHOWS JUST HOW OUT OF ALIGNMENT YOU TRULY ARE.
 
But thank you anyway for sharing it.
 
Many moon’s ago I learned this little bit of spiritual wisdom and it has made all the difference in how I deal with others and has helped me to soften my reaction to other as well.
 
After learning it,
I became more compassionate as I simply saw their judgments, opinions, criticisms and ideas about my life and ways,
even who I was or was not,
as a message as to how they actually saw themselves and just did not recognize it.
 
It is always so much easier to witness in others,
that, that we have challenges with ourselves on the most.
 
We see this all the time while driving.
People with road rage,
or people who quickly get defensive or frustrated on the road typically are the one’s who are not wanting to drive,
believe that people are bad drivers always,
believe that there is always way too much traffic,
that people don’t know how to merge.
And you catch these individuals yelping about everything negative on the road.
They also are the one’s who will get right up on your ass and honk,
will flip you off for no good reason,
will pass you quickly and push their way in to exit instead of just moving with the flow of traffic.
 
They enter the experience of driving with an energy about them.
 
It is the energy of pissed off frustration.
And they drive accordingly.
And they see it in all their fellow drivers even more so.
 
And it is just this way,
because THIS is what they are FOCUSED ON.
 
Focused on the negativity.
Focused on the anger that they feel.
They will say, ” I just don’t like crowds or people.”
But what they are saying is, ” I don’t like myself.”
or ” I am nervous, insecure around people.”
 
And their focus on the negativity,
on the fear,
the uncertainty,
the control that they desire,
makes them judgmental of everyone around them and keeps their eye’s open to only THAT that they are looking most for.
 
WHAT IS WRONG IN THIS WORLD.
 
What is wrong with you.
What is wrong with anyone.
 
And to make matters even more worse,
these fine folks with their critical eye want to help FIX IT.
And they KNOW they have the answer needed,
because they have been on the outside looking in and they see how to go about it.
 
They see the TRUTH.
Your TRUTH.
They have it all figured out.
And they WANT TO HELP.
 
Never realizing that they cannot help from the place that they are witnessing from,
because they are witnessing an illusion,
or at best an old version of the situation or of you.
They are witnessing the events from a place of scarcity, doubt,
a need to control.
They are witnessing from a place that is not whole.
That place being themselves.
And because their focus in on the negative and a need to fix, control, change things,
they are revealing just how they feel about themselves at the deepest of levels.
 
Because you see a person who LOVES THEMSELVES,
a person who is connected and aligned to SOUL,
a person who is respectful of being human,
a person who is compassionate,
a person who has true confidence and self-esteem,
who know’s how powerful they really are,
that sort of person has…
 
NO DESIRE TO JUDGE OR CRITICIZE.
 
When we judge.
When we criticize.
When we try and change or tell another how or who they are.
When we try and convince another that they are wrong on their path.
We in fact are attempting to CONTROL them.
And not loving them for just who they are, as is.
 
When we do these things,
we may use tactics such as guilt, shame or fear to get the results that we feel are right,
and in so doing so,
we cut down the heart and soul of the other person.
And if you get right with yourself,
you will realize just how crappy that actually feels to bring someone down.
 
No matter how good your reasoning may be,
it does not feel good.
 
And that is because
YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR OWN SOUL ALIGNMENT
in these moments.
 
So what do you do when you find yourself wanting to fix, judge or change someone?
 
You breathe and look at what is really coming up for you.
Instead ask yourself,
 
” How do I truly feel about myself right now?”
 
I mean really go there.
Don’t take that first response of,
” I feel great!”
That your ego will spout off.
 
If you want to connect to people.
If you want to enjoy life.
Be happy.
Be received from others.
If you want to know yourself and feel good about who you are.
To be loved and to love.
 
Then you owe yourself the TRUTH.
 
How do you feel about the person you are right now?
How do you feel about the life that you have right now?
 
Start there beautiful.
And take your focus off of everyone’s challenges.
Because whether they have them or not,
it does not matter.
 
Those challenges and issues,
those problems and wrong doings or beings,
that you perceive.
Are NOT YOURS to fix in any other than YOURSELF.
 
Start There.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want more from your life and self?
Enjoy the shifting tales I share here but want that deep dive where you make the changes that you know you need to have the life that you know you were born for?
 
Message me for deet”s about my 1:1 coaching from anywhere in the world.
 
You are worthy to live a F-ck Yes! Life.

TO BE SOFT… What Does It Mean To Your Happiness?

TO BE SOFT IS TO BE POWERFUL. – Rupi Kaur
 
Last year I went out with my second oldest child, my daughter Rebekah to get tattoo’s. She had this beautiful quote that she was getting putting on the inside of her arm that her boyfriend had ended a love letter with. It was such lovely, powerful words of encouragement and I could easily understand why she desired to keep them for her lifetime.
 
I love ink. And getting inked is a THING.
If you are into ink, you get it.
If not, oh well, I am sorry.
 
SO I decided that I would get a tattoo as well, but I always want my tattoo’s to have meaning of some sort and I had not given much thought to this moment. There we were driving to the artist discussing what I should do. When Bek says mom,
“To be soft is to be powerful. – This is so you mom.”
 
I was bewildered, I do admit.
I felt like I sucked at being soft.
I felt like soft was scary.
I felt like soft was bad somehow, that I should be ashamed of it even.
I questioned what she meant by this.
And she explained,
“Mom you are always there for us. You always let us see you and you are always working on yourself. You make mistakes and you allow for our mistakes. You are the strongest person.”
 
What she was expressing to me was that I ALLOWED MYSELF TO FEEL LIFE.
 
The good.
The bad.
The painful.
The joy and orgasm.
The sweetness.
The bitterness.
The meh.
The void.
The fear.
The fullness.
 
I feel it all.
And I KNOW the BEAUTY of it, because I allow myself to experience it all.
 
And so, she was correct in her statement and much like her that day, I needed to keep with me the reminder of my power in my FEELS.
 
Through the course of this lifetime,
I have wanted so badly to run and hide from what I was feeling.
I have wanted to mask it,
cover it up and not allow it to be seen by self or others.
And when I did allow it to be seen or felt,
I was shamed of my humanness around my fears, my joy, my pain and void.
Something always seemed amiss in my feeling,
it was this voice in my head,
telling me that I should not be feeling this way.
It was this same voice telling me I was weak, pathetic and hopeless.
That it was this sort of crap that kept me disconnected from people.
That I was too much to handle.
I was broken.
 
 
And so I worked ever so hard to toughen up.
I focused on breathing in my emotions and “building a strong house” to hold them in.
In the belief that by not revealing them,
by holding them,
that I was being emotionally mature.
 
LMAO!!!!!
 
Looking back at this I feel silly.
Sweet in my desire to be mature with my emotions,
strong for the people in my life,
true.
But so wrong in truth,
this way of being,
of living was not LIVING.
It was hiding from life.
It was avoidance of who I was,
it was a shrinking of my heart center,
a closing to the one’s that I love.
It was a hardening or callousing of my ability to connect,
to be seen and to see another.
In this stifling of feeling,
I lost my ability to have intimacy with life, with others and with self.
I SHRUNK as a human.
 
And in this I lost.
I was the BIGGEST looser.
Because all I wanted was the intimacy,
the love,
the connection.
To be received and to hold space for another.
And what I gifted myself with in my “strength of holding my emotions so tight” was to shield LIFE.
 
The end result outside of loss of intimacy and ability to relate, connect and love, let alone be authentically compassionate or forgive self or others,
also led me to a shut down in my allowance to self to open and receive abundance.
 
My lesson in feeling,
was that in order to have my desires manifest in any fashion,
I needed to allow myself to “SOFTEN INTO THE FLOW OF FEELING LIFE.”
 
That my power came from this space,
You see in order for you to be able to KNOW YOUR PATH,
to FEEL what is right and good for YOU,
in order for you to be able to TRUST your judgement on any decision,
You must FEEL Your emotions, your physical reactions, your truth about it.
 
This means that if you are calloused to FEELING LIFE,
you will consistently make wrong choices for YOUR LIFE.
 
And this is not what living is about.
This is just existing.
 
And that is the WHY that you have been questioning.
WHY AM I NOT HAPPY?
Why does nothing make me happy?
 
Simple….
You are not FEELING LIFE.
 
Want to change this?
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Coaching Today and level up your life experience to one of FEELING.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
https://www.tantrictransformation.com/micro-consult/

WHY I DO SEX DAILY.

WHY I DO SEX DAILY….
 
I have sex almost daily.
It’s just my THING.
I do sex daily yes because I love sex,
but more so for what sex gives me.
And I am not referring to the mind blowing orgasms that only happen here and there.
 
Okay so it’s truth time folks,
yes ME,
the sex expert and coach that helps thousands of people have better and more sex DOES NOT have mind blowing, earth shaking orgasm daily.
Actually most days, its pretty meh…
The sex is just normal,
and even boring at times.
But I still do sex almost daily,
and some days if the opportunity presents itself two or three times.
 
Just a week ago I spent about 7 hours out of 24 having sex.
Now that was yummy.
But why was it yummy?
Why did I want to have 7 hours of sex?
or have it daily, especially if I am not having mind blowing sex or even an orgasm most of the time?
 
The simple truth is that SEX ignites my creative juices.
Sex allows me a medative state, no matter the outcome to work on embodying myself,
sex allows me practice time to get out of my head and FEEL myself at a deep level.
I get to practice letting go,
I get to practice vulnerability,
I get to practice surrender,
I get to see where I am challenged and through the rhythm of my sex,
the consistent allowance of letting myself feel and stepping away from the idea of cumming,
but just BEING instead,
I get to connect to my CORE and thus feel my partner at a deeper level.
 
I have discovered through the years,
that our SEX is linked to so many things.
Self-confidence,
self-love,
boundaries,
ability to receive and give,
thinking patterns,
fear,
DESIRE,
passion,
VITALITY,
a feeling of freedom,
a feeling of peace,
centeredness,
physical well-being,
mental well-being,
and expanded spiritual depth.
 
To just name a few.
Yet we are taught to shame our sex,
to hide from it,
to ignore it,
to STARVE IT.
We are taught that our sex is evil.
And that it should only be used to make babies, or relieve stress QUICKLY.
 
And this way of thinking about our sex,
has us shut down,
fearful,
and not having sex.
It has us feeling disconnected from life, ourselves and the people we love.
It has us feeling insecure and angry,
depressed and lost.
And it has us trying to achieve what we have a void in through any means possible.
It has us acting out and traumatizing ourselves and others.
 
Instead of loving ourselves,
being responsible,
compassionate,
mature people,
we are like caged, starving, beaten wild animals.
This is what our world has become when we DO SEX.
And it’s all because we have such a limited, repressed view and understanding of this beautiful gift from God.
 
Sex and finances are the top two reasons marriages break up.
Sex actually out weights money,
because when the sex is crap,
when the sex is disconnected and toxic,
when sex is just about the get off,
then you have a partner being used and abused.
You have trauma setting in and the relationship is TOXIC.
No amount of money can heal that.
That is all about embodiment.
That is all about connection.
 
And you can ONLY CONNECT to your partner if you know how to connect to yourself first.
 
THAT IS WHY I DO SEX DAILY.
 
The consistent practice of leaning more into ME.
 
How does your sex feel to you?
Connected and deep?
Expansive and full?
or shallow, empty and about the release?
 
Want to learn how you have beautiful sexing all the time and access these states of peace, joy and connection.
Enjoy intimacy no matter what is going on in your life?
Reach out to me for information on my 1:1 coaching available globally today.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

So You Think You Know Me….

SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME….
 
I mean we have been dating for sometime now after all.
And you are such a sweet person.
I love how you make me feel.
I love the looks you give at different times.
I love listening to your stories.
I just love the way that you are.
You make me smile.
You make my heart race and jump for joy when I see you.
I just love you for just how you are.
 
 
Mmmmmm……
Hmmmmm…….
 
And so because you feel all this you have now proclaimed that YOU KNOW ME?
 
 
I saw you sitting there,
looking oh so nice.
This conversation we are having has me feeling really good.
I have this desire rising up to kiss you.
I know that I want more.
You seem really great.
Good looking,
clean,
intelligent.
My gut tells me that I can trust you.
I mean you say that you don’t ever do this sort of thing.
You say that you are safe and clean.
You say that you have not been with anyone for so long.
I feel that I can trust you.
 
Mmmmmm……
Hmmmmm……
 
And so because you feel all this you have now proclaimed that YOU KNOW ME?
 
So we have been chatting for some time,
I have been sharing pieces of myself with you and you with I.
I feel so close to you.
I feel like I know your SOUL.
It’s beautiful and yummy to feel this side of you.
I have seen you go through some things.
I have seen tears wash down your cheeks.
And heard your laughter rise from your chest.
Everything you do,
makes me yearn to know you more.
But I feel like I really know you NOW.
 
Mmmmmm……
Hmmmmm…..
 
We have been together for all these years,
raised a family,
moved a few states,
been through ups and downs.
I have felt you at your best and worst.
I know what pains you and what brings you joy.
I see you daily and rest my head next yours.
We have our goals.
We have our commitment.
And we communicate,
or so I feel.
And so I KNOW YOU like no one else could.
 
Mmmmmmm…….
Hmmmmmm……
 
And so because you feel all this you have now proclaimed that YOU KNOW ME?
 
LOL…
Such a laughable idea is all of this.
I tell you that YOU HAVE NOT THE KNOWING you believe.
Not in any such way of any of these relationships.
 
For no matter what I share,
or who you witness me to be.
No matter the time spent together or not,
YOU DO NOT KNOW ME.
 
You know the version of me that you want to know.
You know the image of me that feels safe to you.
But you do not KNOW ME.
 
You see that thing you feel is knowing,
that thing is actually your ideas about me.
That version of me that you see,
it is part me of yesterday,
part me of today,
and part me that you wish me to be.
It is NOT ME.
 
And if you think that you know me,
after such a short time,
if you think that you get me when you have no idea whats inside,
if you think that you understand me,
that you want to be with me or enjoy me,
then know that whatever you perceive of me is not mine.
Because honey,
YOU DO NOT KNOW ME.
 
You cannot know if someone is true,
if they are trustworthy,
if they are who they say they are,
or you desire them to be,
from just one meeting.
 
The same is true my dear after three or ten dates.
No matter how much sexing, kissing and holding,
if you have not seen me at my worst,
been in the trenches of my pain.
rolled in the grasses of life in my joy,
or caught in my rain.
If you have not fought till 3 am,
or held me in fear of loosing me,
then you cannot know me.
 
If you believe that knowing me is what you perceive,
if you believe that our relationship is deeper than you can imagine,
but you have no clue what my greatest fear is or my grandest joy,
then you cannot know me.
You may FEEL LIKE YOU DO,
but honey it’s not true.
 
This relationship is sweet,
it is short of depth or truth,
if you choose to believe me,
those pictures I paint,
those tales that I tell,
then honey you are silly,
you are hungry for my love,
my attention and your perception,
but YOU DO NOT KNOW ME.
 
 
This poem is for all those out there that believe that they can trust someone after a first date, or commit to a life with someone after 2, 3 or 6 months.
This poem is for all those who feel like they want to rush into relationship,
rush into commitment,
rush into bare sex,
rush into love.
 
I promise you this, that feeling that you are having is nothing more than a honeymoon feeling, new relationship energy.
And it will fade and your perceptions will change,
your hungers as well.
For in 6, 12, 18 months you will see something more.
And when year three comes to pass, you will START to meet your mate.
The truth will come about and you may discover the stranger that resides by you at night.
 
Hire Slow.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
To learn more valuable relationship success concepts and truths and how to call in that SOULMATE, reach out to me for deet’s on 1:1 coaching today.
 
 
 
 
 

#AWOMANLIKEYOU – I want that!

I am so effing hungry.
I want for so much.
My body desires to open.
To feel,
to have,
to be taken.
I long to be dominated and ravished.
To surrender.
To be FREE.
 
This is the desire of a turned on sensually confident woman.
 
Do not try and control me though.
Do not think you own me.
 
If you want me,
then have me.
 
JUST AS I AM.
 
Your desire is beautiful for me.
But your focus on creating me into something that I am not,
irritates my soul.
 
You claim that you want this sexual seductress,
but in your wanting you do not fathom what it will require from YOU.
 
You cannot have me sweet man.
And here is where your issue resides.
You will never contain that essence that you want so badly for.
You will never have me.
You must always be comfortable with letting me go.
 
I am wild and I am free.
I am independent even when you carry me.
I am passionate and powerful,
hungry and emotional.
You love my wild woman,
You crave to penetrate her so.
But in the enveloping,
you will loose yourself,
and if you allow this to happen,
you will loose me as well.
 
You see this woman that you desire…
she will only be with you,
if she wants you.
 
She will only remain,
if she is free to be herself.
She will only go deeper if she can trust that you can handle her fire,
her dance,
her love,
her passion and thirst for life.
 
She will play with many,
but hold out for only the few.
 
The few that are confident in themselves.
Expansive and strong.
Who want for her like she wants for life.
 
This confident seductress,
she is I my love,
but you can and never will have her.
 
Can you handle that knowledge my sweet?
Can you love and trust with the knowing that you will never contain that, that you desire to keep so close?
 
Can you muster up the courage my love to step further into who you truly are and witness all the depth of your soul,
unmasking your fears,
unraveling your truths,
and letting go of all that holds you back away from,
to feel you and her in totality?
 
Can you my love?
 
It will be required.
It will be sought after.
And for you to keep her,
you must do this at very least.
 
Many a warrior has walked on her grounds,
many a man who believed that he was King enough to hold her attention,
carry her heart,
open her soul,
and expand her sex.
 
Many have believed that they touched something special.
Many have thought that they captivated her.
But in truth,
it is not such.
It is but only a few.
 
Enjoy your dance my love.
Enjoy this dance while it is here.
Do not get caught up in the ideas and visions of owning her lands,
do not believe that she will employ you for more time then she feels fit,
the goddess on her knees before you,
with her intoxicating smile and scent,
her eye’s glimmering with fire,
her touch that ignites your core,
making you want to be a better man.
 
Yes that goddess will always adore you.
She will always appreciate you.
But the moment you reach out to hold on…
 
SHE IS GONE.
 
This is the dance of the of a turned on sensually confident woman.
 
A woman who KNOWS herself.
A woman who LOVES herself.
A woman who is OPEN.
A woman who is EMPOWERED.
 
The seductress you hunger for,
who makes you crave for more,
she is unattainable,
even if you bask in her love for a lifetime.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
This poem was inspired by all the men who have shared their desire to have me in some fashion,
or to find me within another woman some way.
 
All women are seductresses.
All women deserve a KING.
And to call out this empowered, turned on Queen,
YOU must be a fit KING.
 
To learn more about the tantric empowerment practices that I teach men and women so that they can live a true F-ck Yes! Life in all subject areas that they want, message me for deet’s on my 1:1 coaching today.