The Gift of Relationship in Life Success

Relationships break us open.
Relationships unfold us to a life that is deeper than we could ever know possible on our own.
Relationships can be freeing,
Or they can be crippling.

Relationships are our defining energy of how we penetrate our lives.
They define how we surrender to the greatness of our lives.
They define how we allow ourselves to receive and create blessings and/or suffering.

Everything we do in life,
We do through relationship.

This last year I have been in this awakening of just this that I share with you today.
I have been coming into the beautiful realization of my truth and how it has manifested and shown me all the guidance I could ever want for through my relationships with lovers, friends and family.

My realization (and perhaps you may feel some alignment too) is that I have been resisting my truth.
I have been hiding from my own uniqueness and power thus of it.

In January I lost what one might say was the love of a lifetime. My heart died that day and I have been looking for a path of resurrection for it so that I can open again to the blessings that a fierce penetrative love can bless one with.

In May I lost my second primary relationship in a shocking 2 hour event that I am sure I will never understand. This relationship taught me so much about my desires, about emotion and stability. It taught me about detachment and harshness and it showed me my weaknesses in my boundaries and lienliance around many things and I was shown just how blind one can be in a relationship as well as how we NEVER know anyone truly.

These two relationships alone have revealed to me a beauty and a reality of who I am and how I have been choosing to show up in life as well as how I am willing to receive from life or not.

I have come to a realization of my set points.
Of my programs around abundance, value, love, money and joy.
I have come into a point of awareness that each of these relationships were holding me back from my full potential.

The healing must still manifest in its own way.
But the truth is that I have been blessed without measure. I have been provided with the opportunity to create the legacy that I desire for my life.

If I tried to hold tight to the energies (the relationships) that were lower vibe than what I wanted for my life, then I would only set myself on a path of further suffering.

As a former love above says, ” A reason, a season or a lifetime.”

So true is this statement.
As every relationship offers one of these.
And we never know what it is until we reach its end.
And even then,
As past has taught me,
Some relationships serve all of the above.

And everyone of them reveals more of who we are.
Everything is a relationship.

If you are struggling then all I have to say is that there is hope. You can have it all. You really can.

I swear to you,
That if this effed up single mom of of seven from the wrong side of the tracks can find hope,
Can discover her truth,
And can manifest a life that is beyond what I believed.

Then you too can have your dreams manifest into reality.

Look at your relationships,
See their beauty no matter the pain they bestow,
And embrace who you are.
Embrace your truth.
Embrace your desire.
Embrace your power.

And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living.

Ode to the Mama Bear

Nothing more important to this Mama Bear than her babies.
 
And I know that when I say this that all you Mama Bears out there agree.
 
There is nothing I would not do,
go through,
or try and make happen for my children.
 
My 21 year old daughter calls me the mother of all mothers.
Recently her and I went and got tattoo’s together and she helped me decide what I would get.
 
“To be soft is to be powerful.”
 
This is what is now written on my right shoulder.
The message is one that portrays strength in our vulnerability,
strength in the revealing of our hearts,
strength in our softness and flow.
 
Strength as a mother is much like this.
This tattoo is a reminder to me that no matter what happens in life, my strength comes from within.
 
And it is beautiful and needed.
 
This message today,
I share with all you Mama Bears out there.
I share my courageous heart with you beautiful ladies,
I share my desire to create a better world for our children,
and our grand babies.
I share my passion to create a legacy for my home team.
For the souls that I have birthed into this world and who blessed me with the precious gift of motherhood.
 
The message I wish to share with you Mama Bears is that our babies, both of our womb and those we adopt into our lives are reason enough to become the gorgeous queens that we were meant to be.
 
It is through our divine feminine leadership,
that our daughters will grow into strong and powerful, beautiful women themselves.
Our son’s will grow into strong, powerful and respectful men.
It is up to we women of today,
to create the world of tomorrow.
 
So why do we settle for less than what we deserve in this life?
Why do we take less in our relationships,
in our love and in our sex,
in our reaping of abundance and health?
 
Why do we allow this world to rape us of our joy and our beauty?
 
Why do perceive ourselves as weak when we dance in our beauty, our feminine energy?
But think that strength is revealed only in control, masculine power, through actions of ego and mind instead of heart and soul?
Why do we choose to disregard our intuition?
 
I will tell you why.
 
We have been lied too,
and we believe these lies.
 
We have been scorned into bitterness and fear,
we have been trampled by plagues of fear and trauma.
 
We have been ignored,
underappreciated,
viewed as weak and meek,
as property.
 
This is why we now sit in a time where we women,
are lost within ourselves.
 
Looking for ways to heal.
To birth ourselves into a new reality,
where we feel in love with ourselves again.
Where we feel complete,
loved,
adored,
honored,
and seen.
 
Seen as the powerful yet soft feminine that we feel inside our soul.
 
But ladies,
we cannot demand our empowerment from society,
or take it from the masculine by treating the masculine the same way that we have been treated for centuries.
 
No.
We must do it through leaning further into our feminine.
We must do it by tapping into our orgasm,
our joy and our intuition.
 
We must do it by grabbing hold of the reigns of our soul,
and pull ourselves into the alignment that we crave.
 
This is how we share our legacy as powerful women.
This is how we build a life that we are proud of.
This is how we lead our children.
And bless them with what only we Mama Bear’s know to be true.
 
True Strength Comes from the Courage of Your Soul.
 
The more we lead our babies like this,
the more raw and open we are with our son’s and daughters about life,
the more they see us embracing who we are with joy and fierceness,
the more they witness us healing to our greatest depths,
the more our son’s and daughters will KNOW.
 
They will know themselves by the revealing we do for them of ourselves.
 
They will de-armour themselves of the pain,
the shame and guilt,
the fear that run’s rampant in our world today.
 
Instead they will discover who they are,
because they witness us standing in our light.
 
Revealing who we are.
This is the path that we women lead.
 
It is the path of opening to truth for our children’s sake.
 
You owe it to yourself.
You owe it to your babies.
You owe it to this world.
 
To stand strong and powerful,
in your souls desire,
in your hearts softness.
As the Queen that you are.
 
Mama Bear you are loved.
Embrace this world as though it were your child.
 
Birth yourself into truth today.
And feel your orgasm.
Live your life, fully claimed.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
Join me in October for 5 weeks of intensive coaching on Facebook.
Or for my pre launch of F-ck Yes Life Entrepreneur Business.
Message me for details.
Or become a VIP 1+1client now.
https://www.tantrictransformation.com/services-request-form/

 

How to Make An A*s Out Of Yourself.

Assumptions.

Have you ever noticed how feakin’ wrong you can be on things?

Have you ever just stopped and questioned why you are so persistent, so dead set on making sure that things go the way you believe they are already even in the face of reality that it is not?

Life is really funny, isn’t it?

We get involved with relationship,

all sorts of relationship and then sh*t happens and we assume we know what the other person is thinking or feeling. When in fact we don’t have an effing clue.

What we are listening to, is nothing more than the babble in our heads.

This babble stems from our own insecurities and fears, not from TRUTH.

This babble is our ego’s  ignited and trying to dictate to us all that we really don’t want, but are likely to lean more into because we believe what is false.

I have done my fair share of assuming for sure.

I have been on the receiving end of assumptions as well.

Neither side is good.

Recently I was part of the babbling game of assumptions and it lead me to having to make a post on facebook to “try” and clear some things up.  However the issue with assumptions is that the one’s that are having the assumptions made on them go into the defense ( much like I have had to do) and this in the short run, prevents further clear communication as we are grasping for air to be seen, heard and witnessed in truth, all the while the assumptions are dumping them selves out and messing up the truth.

Making it hard if not impossible on the front side to see anything for what it is UNLESS one REALLY wants the truth and investigates it.

Which often NEVER happens.

Why?

Because we HUMAN.

And we humans love a good drama story.

The truth often is not as dramatic, exciting or full of gossip and luster as the assumptions.

Assumptions are like the telephone game we use to play as children.

You know the one.

I whisper something in your ear, you whisper what you heard in someone else’s and it goes around the circle as such until the last person speaks what they were told and the original person gets to say, “yes that is what I said, or no here is what I actually said.”

This is ASSUMPTIONS.

Assumptions can destroy people if they let them.

Assumptions are the basis of rumors and gossip.

Assumptions alter our thinking and beliefs about situations, people and even ourselves.

When we buy into an assumption, we allow the darkness of an untruth half baked lie to plant it’s seed in us and all our actions, thoughts and feelings moving forward are based ( no matter how hard we try) on the foundation of an assumption.

So let me get REAL with you guys so you can see the potential damage of an assumption.

TRUTH BOMB coming your way.

Here is what I shared on facebook to help clear up the assumptions that have been floating around my world lately.

See if you can guess what the assumptions were that caused my need to share this. Feel free to post your thoughts below. 🙂

———————————————————————————————–

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!! It has come to my attention that there are many misunderstanding floating around in recent and over the last year or so. I am taking this moment to share the truth since these rumors are making it back to me from multiple sources. 
1) I am NOT a prostitute, whore, tantric masseuse or bodyworker.
2) I do NOT sleep with my clients. I do NOT sleep with other women’s men either. 
3) I AM a life coach that focuses in on sexuality issues such as shame, guilt, orgasm issues, and health issues. I primarily focus in on relationship issues and sex is a major component to these.
4) I DO teach sexuality and relationship workshops and classes. They are NOT orgies, they are classes.
5) I DO coaching in the same fashion that other life coaches do (i.e. talk therapy base)
6) Most of my work these days is done through phone coaching and online courses.
7) I have been in an open relationship with my previous partner for almost 7 years. That was my first open relationship ever. We both had other lovers and knew about them. This was public knowledge for anyone close to us. 

8) My focus in life is as follows God, Family, Healing, Work

If anyone reading this would like a more in depth conversation or conformation on these things then please just ask me to share. I am happy to set the record straight about anything you may want to know or have been told.I am extremely disappointed in certain people who claim to not want drama and want to live an authentic life sharing these false truths.Truth ALWAYS comes out.Moving forward. 
Working on forgiveness around MANY things.
This song sums it up well.Blessings to all of you caught in the middle. 
———————————————————————————————-
Assumptions.
Fun stuff.
The way through assumptions is INQUIRY.
If you really want to know something NEVER EVER take the words of someone else, do your homework. Do the investigation and effing inquire with the person that you are questioning.
Often you find where the assumptions that you have been told are coming from, and how much is truth and how much is made up of the babble in someone’s else’s head.
Instead of blowing up relationships and worlds,
try a more peaceful emphatic approach of compassion and inquiry.
Use your words and your feelings to get the bottom of something.
Especially if you care at all about the person or people that you are hearing things about or speaking about.
We humans love our drama circles.
We love creations.
We love talking about things.
But in all of this,
what we accomplish is the creation of an illusion.
We support a potential lie.
When in doubt,
look at the source.
Look at the wounding.
Look at what you have always know of the person you are assuming things about.
And keep in mind Jesus words, ” Let those of you who have no sin cast the first stone.”
The reality is that assumptions are stones of judgment.
And judgement’s against us or others are often highly wrong.
Do unto others what you have done to you.

And remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

 

 

I am No Effing Babysitter.

My life is full of children.
Literally.
I am the mother of seven babies ranging from 3 years to almost 23 years. I love my children more than anything.
They hold my heart like no other.
Honestly there is nothing that I would not do or give for my babies.
From the first moments of looking into my eldest daughters eye’s I knew I was in love. I had that same feeling with the birth of each of my children. Precious angels that God had gifted me to care for. Watch over and teach wisely.
My children are my pride and my joy.
My heart sores with gratitude as I watch them grow and see the beautiful souls that they are maturing into.
 
I know this is nothing abnormal.
All of us mother’s feel this way about our babies.
The sun rises and sets on these humans that we created.
We are proud goddess bitches who birthed angels.
 
And YES I am one very PROUD Mama!
But I am no effing babysitter.
 
God seem’s to bless my life repeatedly with the task of babysitting other mama’s babies. I suck at babysitting my own. I have never been the helicopter parent. I give my children so much freedom to explore, learn, fail and succeed.
I let them crash and I hold out a hand and ask if they want my help to stand. I smile at their goofiness, their immaturity and illusions of how life works or not.
 
I watch them struggle to learn who they are and what steps are most pleasing for their life.
 
I watch them fear tomorrow but step forward with enthusiasm.
I do not control.
I guide through my actions, through my life expression.
I do not treat my children as though they are smaller than, less than or property.
 
No, I worship the f-cking ground they walk on through gifting them with responsibility and expectation of being authentically them.
 
I worship them through supporting them with unconditional love and sometimes the tough love they need to hear even though tears form and they slam doors and tell me how much they hate me.
 
I am no effing babysitter.
Yet God blesses me with many other mama’s babies.
 
They knock at my motherhood door each year that passes.
These angels that have been cast out from their families in so many ways.
These angels who are of all ages.
They reveal their hearts to me and beg for the love they crave, the unconditional worship of soul, the allowance to just be seen as who they really are.
 
Yet they too slam doors and shed tears,
get horribly mad with my ways,
with my distance and lack of hand holding.
They feel the pain of mama bear not rushing in to save them but just wanting them to stand and walk.
Wanting them to do what they were born for.
To fly.
To be authentically them.
 
I am no effing babysitter but God blesses me daily with other mama’s babies.
They want answers, support and and a shoulder to cry on.
They want guidance and hand holding.
They wonder if I truly care because it often appears that I am distant and unseeing. Callous to their cries and plea’s.
Their souls know, just as my own flesh and blood babies know.
I will always be here.
I am always loving them.
No matter what life may bring or whom they choose to be or not be.
I am unconditional in my love, even when I am gone.
I find no need to explain myself.
I find no need to run to their sides.
I find no need to hide who I am or
bend in ways that I was not built.
I am always GUIDING.
 
I am like the mother willow who protects all, bends in the storms but does not break. I am plentiful in my energy and love but I am no effing babysitter.
 
No I do not babysit.
No matter the baby, I will carry them only so far and then the day always comes that they must stand on their own feet and test the path before them.
 
Here they will shake at the knee’s,
they will quiver with fear,
they will jump with joy,
they will be a full expression of self,
and they will fall.
 
But they will RISE.
On their own.
Stronger than before.
Embraced in unconditional love.
Embraced in Light and Truth of who they are.
A beautiful earth angel from God.
Here with a mission.
And as all angels, they are warriors.
They are warriors of their souls.
Here to make their stand.
 
No I am no effing babysitter.
Babysitters do not raise crusaders.
Proud A*s Angel Mama’s – strong in the armor of God DO!
 
This is written for all you proud as f-ck mama’s out there who raise your own beautiful babies as well as other’s too. Who support your sisters and brother’s, your friends and lover’s, your soul tribe.
 
This is for all you proud as f-ck mama’s who know that God has blessed your life with lot’s of spirit babies in this life and who CHOOSE to stand up to the call and GUIDE in love.
 
We are not effing babyistters.
We are warrior goddesses,
a sister-hood of mother’s with many spirit babies who come to us at their time’s of need.
 
And we GUIDE.
 

As Always,

Remember who you ARE.
And ,

Stop Existing & Start Living

My monkey’s tried to get me laid.

🙊🙉🤭😈 My monkey’s tried to get me laid. 🔥🔥🙊☺️
Only in my world of crazy does this sort of stuff happen.
Only in my world is it allowed,
Embraced and accepted.
 
In truth, It was a day of frustration, what started out to be a productive, good feeling day quickly shifted gears to frustration and overwhelm. Not only was I just in pain physically from pushing my healing body to do more than what it most likely should have, I was also pushing myself emotionally to work through boxes of old energy from my marriage of 20 years and then my next relationship of almost 7 years.
 
Sorting and cleaning a garage full of memories can have its fair share of painful moments.
 
Really dredging up the past and forcing yourself to let go.
See the truth that you once lived,
and embrace your moment now.
 
This was my Monday.
All because the universe proclaimed that my internet wire would get cut from the yard guy and I would be out of online commission until it was repaired. So, I did the next best thing….
 
Was proactive and started sorting, cleaning and putting my house together.
 
After a long and full day of multiple emotions rising to be siphoned through, I was exhausted, smelly 😱 and just wanting to rest, have a glass of wine or maybe something harder, get my munchkins down for bed and yes…
 

Yes,

I wanted a good orgasm.

 
Lucky for me I had this last part already in the works by inviting my lover over for dinner.
 
And planned on having myself and him for desert. 🔥😜🔥🔥
 
Everything was taking longer, except for what I was wanting to take a long time and that was the nakedness in my bed. But no, instead I was blessed with bedtime item’s and simmering down of little one’s taking MUCH longer than wanted, especially since I sat there, needing to pee, needing to shower, and just wanting to relax in my lovers arms.
 
Instead I was blessed with laughter coming from the other room, where my elder children, my friends and my lover enjoyed themselves and joked, connected and made light in the evening hours while I snuggled down my munchkins, smelt my stench and craved to just let go.
 
Breathing in the moment. I felt my ego on the cusp of just screaming.
 
My 21 year old daughter came and offered to help me, I shot her down, and offered her a not very well disguised guilt trip on poor mom’s mood.
 
My friend came and offered to help, I shot her down and offered another ego based comment, sharing that I had it all under control and that it was F-I-N-E.
 
I heard myself saying this bullsh*t,
I wanted the saving,
I wanted the connection,
The help.
I wanted to effing shower!
I wanted to get these babies down so I could laugh,
enjoy my evening some,
get out of my head and into my body,
and get to what I was really craving.
The orgasm between my sheets.
 
But I denied myself the opportunity to have it sooner than I could receive it.
 
I denied my family and friends the opportunity to help me,
to support me.
 
Instead I wanted to sit in my disgust just a little bit longer.
I was punishing myself,
for something I was not even conscious of.
I felt shame.
I felt rage.
I felt depression.

I felt like a total f*ck up to life.

 
I held my son on my lap as he wiggled and fought sleep,
looking at him and wondering how I could have been so stupid to let myself get caught up in yet another bad relationship with a man who claimed all this and that and in a moments notice could shut out everything, everyone and just walk away. In gratitude for the lives of my children, the reasons, the blessings from my relationship, I could smile but in my heart I felt all of this…
 
And I felt shame.
I felt guilt.
I felt lost.
 
So I punished myself in this moment.
I denied support, love, help and orgasm.
I denied God from helping me achieve my goals.
 
My monkey’s on the other hand refused to listen to my ego.
They refused to let me sink to far.
They refused to let mom crash,
my friends were on board with the plan,
my lover was of course on board…lol
 
My monkey’s decided that it was time for me to take care of me and to go after what I not just wanted but NEEDED.
 
So my daughter’s came in and told me to go shower, to get clean, that they had their little brother’s.
A friend got me drink.
My lover provided a smile and sparkling eye’s with a clear intent.
 
I showered.
I shaved. (because that is what girl’s do when they are needing and wanting certain event’s 😈)
 
Clean,
refreshed,
ready,
lighter in spirit,
I emerged.
My little one’s asleep.
Laughter filled my dinning room,
I was now part of it.
I was fully there.
Sharing,
Connecting,
De-Shaming.
 
My monkey’s tried to get me laid.🙊🙊😜😜🙏
They made a plan.
They figured out who was taking over for night time child care,
who would sleep where, so that mom would not have to worry about children. They discussed it, argued about it and laughed.
 
At the end of it,
My monkey’s tried to get me laid,
and were successful.
 
They created the space for mom to go,
Be,
Do,
Have.
 
What I wanted and NEEDED.
With No Shame.
With No Guilt.
In Truth.
In Harmony.
In Love.
 
They knew how badly I needed to just be able to drop down and connect to my lover,
to myself,
to my orgasm.
 
They supported my well being.
 
My monkey’s.
My circus.
My crazy world.
My family tribe.
 
No Shame.
Only Open, Unconditional.
Love.
 
#lovemygrownassbabies
#fuckyeslife
#shamefree
 

And as always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

She said I could fly… and so I did!

Becoming a child without a parent is a strange adventure in this life.

 
I say adventure, because it really is just that.
It is so much more than just an experience.
It is an adventure in the mind of life.
That may sound strange, but it is true. The adventure of the mind of life.
 
How little we understand about the human mind,
the human soul,
or about life at all.
 
I find myself wondering where my mother goes when she leaves.
I look at her with child like bewilderment of not understanding.
Yet, she is now the child and I the adult.
 
How strange to not have a mother to share my life stories with anymore.
 
How strange to not be able to have that woman who was there to comfort me in my youth and beyond,
 
who even though she may have not understood my beliefs, my ways or thoughts,
 
she always believed I could walk on water.
 
My mom always thought I could fly.
She believed in me like no other ever has.
 
No matter how angry she has made me through the years,
No matter the crazy a*s sh*t she has said, did or lied about doing.
No matter how much she has scared me with her wild woman ways.
No matter how badly she has hurt me with her words and actions at times.
No matter how I often knew she was manipulating me,
She has been my one trust cheerleader.
 
Actually cheerleader does not do her justice here.
She has always, until recent years been that faithful disciple.
 
I say disciple, because she did not lead.
She pushed me up.
She put me on the pedestal that she believed I should be on.
 
Like I said, she has always insisted that I could walk on water and fly.
 
She saw wings on my back and wind beneath them, when I thought I was trash.
 
All this attention and never being able to do wrong in my mother’s eye’s has made me who I am today.
 
I often think, “Wow, Kendal you sure think a lot of yourself.
Then I hear the programs of our society kick in and shame me for doing just that.

Then I realize that this is what I help people over come EVERY day.

 
If we do not love ourselves and think highly of ourselves, then who will?
 
If we do not believe we have wings, then how will we ever fly?
If we do not believe that we can perform miracles, then how can we?
If we do not believe that we are worthy, then we are not.
 
My mom has always pushed me in one way or another to BE ALL I CAN.
 
And supported me whenever I said, ” This does not feel right, good or in alignment to me.”
 
This is why it is so heavy on my heart to see this woman become the child.
 
I watch her daily deteriorate more and more.
I see her fear in her eyes.
I hear the anxiety of it in her voice.
I see her looking at her aging hands that now shake so badly that she can barely hold her coffee without dumping the whole thing.
I see her shocked at her gray hair,
At the hairs that grow on her chin.
 
I see her concern and worry when she realizes that she has no clue what day it is,
What she ate or if she ate.
 
I see her panic as she believes the nightmares that run through her as reality as she shares them in great detail with me.
 
I see her frustration as she realizes that she has no clue what her grand child’s name is anymore.
 
And I feel her pain, as she runs from the loss of herself and thus the loss of her life.
 
There is nothing like watching some one vanish before your eye’s while their physical body remains,
breathes,
heart beating,
but they are no more.
 
She is no more.
She is gone.
 
She is no longer that woman with wise words and tales.
She is no longer that woman that gave advice from her depths of experience.
She is no longer that woman who could hold space and let me cry or freak out.
She is no longer a mother.
 
Now I am in her role.
I hold space while she cries and freaks out from her loss of memory.
I give advice when she asks me, “”How am I going to over come this and have my own life again? Do you think it’s to late? I sound crazy.”
I share the wisdom I have gathered in my life and recall from her tales.
 
I am the mother.
She is the child.
 

Becoming a child without a parent is a strange adventure in this life,

For sure.

 
But this is the story that so many of us will live with our parents,
and perhaps with our children.
 
As we age,
as we grow,
as we awaken,
we too die.
 
Here is the tale of dying before death takes us.
The tale of living with dementia.
 
Here is the a tale of awakening one morning to this strange adventure.
 
I will not live like my mother.
For in her wisdom, that breaks free from its shackles of memory loss and fear,
 
” I wish I had lived more.”
” I wish I had loved more.”
” I wish I had had the courage that you do.”
 
“Honey, you can fly! I know you can. I see your wings.”
 

So what are you waiting for?

Come fly with me!

 

My mom say’s we can…

So let’s!

 

And remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

 Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

The New Human Lesson on Risk, Fear and Having It All.

I am often so captured by fear, I cannot move forward.

 
There are so many time’s in life where I find myself just pausing, procrastinating and what is without a doubt stuck in FEAR. Some of these instances are actually silly, other’s are understandable. Some I cannot avoid the event sand steps that I most certainly will be taking while yet, other’s I just ignore and act like they are not even there.
 
It’s funny as I write this I come back to the feeling of being pregnant.
 
Not just pregnant but due any day.
Then I slip into the thought of the moments after my water has broken and there is NO TURNING BACK. Once that water breaks your just a few short moments maybe 30 minutes away from contractions happening for real.
 
The clock start ticking on reality.
You realize that your going to have a baby.
And in order to birth this child that there WILL be pain, blood, sweat and tears.
There will be terror going through your veins.
There will be uncertainty mixed with excitement.
 
In this MOMENT you realize, well sh*t, I am stuck now.
Now I have to move through this birth, this transformation and just go with it.
 
Funny thing, I always tried to control it for the first portion of the labor process. Always, trying to act calm, cool and collected, like I had everything in order was superwomen.
 
And the interesting thing was that for the most part I did.
I was.
 
But there were moments in this that I felt great pain,
tears wanted to stream down my face and few choice words wanted to escape my lips.
 
It was NEVER as bad as i thought it was going to be though.
It was NEVER as severe as I had painted in my head those few short moments after my water broke or event the days leading up to that.
 
I often thought, it was going to steal my sanity,
make me look weak.
I often thought that I would not be strong enough to handle the process,
that I was for sure going to fall apart,
and my true self,
that self that I wanted no one to see,
would appear ,
and disappoint everyone,
including me.
 
But the moments came, and the labor built.

My body slowly let go of it’s need to control and prove itself and just accepted it’s GREATNESS.

 
My mind released it’s fear,
perhaps it was the rush of adrenaline,
perhaps it was the faith that God had my back.
Perhaps, I was actually as STRONG as I thought I was story I was trying to tell.
 
Who know’s.
 

What I do know is that I ALWAYS made it through.

I ALWAYS did it naturally.
I ALWAYS did it in GRACE.

I ALWAYS pushed through (pun intended).

 

And at the day, I got to meet a beautiful new little human.

And more importantly, they had introduced me to my SOUL.

 
My COURAGE.
My STRENGTH.
My POWER.
 
This new little human got me to meet myself at a new and more intimate place than before.
 
Experiencing this 7 time’s in my life I can tell you from experience and my heart that there is no difference between giving birth to a new little human being than there is to giving birth to your DREAMS.
 
I feel ALL the same fears, concerns, doubts and pains when I increase my coaching rates as I did when I gave birth.
 
I feel all the same things internally emotionally, when I step up to a new level of who I want to become and have to act on it.
 
I feel all the same things when I decide that I am NOT TURNING BACK from my mission, my calling, my purpose.
 
I feel all the same things when I COMMIT to doing more, BEING more, HAVING more.
 
I feel all the same things when I CLAIM MY LIFE as I did when I was Claiming the life of my new little human.
 
A long time ago a friend looked at me and said, ” Kendal, you are not afraid of anything, I wish I was more like you.”
 

OMFG!

Did she just say that?
 
I responded with, “What? I am afraid of everything, ALL the time.”
 
This was my epiphany.
 
So often fear STOP’s us from our dreams.
Stop’s us from birthing the life that we were born to live.
 
Even though, I was always afraid.
Uncertain.
and scared out of ever lovin’ mind,
 
I ALWAYS was COMMITTED to my SOUL.
I was always willing to step off that cliff and see where it my take me.
I was willing to fall so that I could learn how to get back up.
I was willing to look like a fool if it meant that I would grow.
I was willing to RISK.
 
I always understood that just living meant that we RISK.
And in that we were born to explore,
to discover,
to uncover,
to tap in
and get turned on,
to our hearts desires.
 

We were built to RISK.

And without that RISK, all we ever would be doing was to LIE TO OURSELVES and avoid our DREAMS.
 
Without discomfort, risk and fear.
We become NOTHING in a hurry.
We loose ourselves and our lives.
 
And thus we risk not just a ding to our ego,
but we RISK EVERYTHING.
 
Thank goodness for the little human’s that have guided me to feeling into this space and keeping it real with me every day.
 
Thank goodness that that I was willing to see the lesson,
and actually get it.
 
I want to share this lesson with YOU.
Because whether you have a little human you brought into this world or not is sorta beside the point now.
 

The point is, that YOU were BORN for GREATNESS.

You were meant to have more.
You were meant to STAND OUT.
You were meant to RISK.
 
That is what every BREATH is trying to tell you.
 

So WAKE THE F*CK UP!

 

And Remember to Stop Existing & Start Living.

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

 

The Home Team.

It’s My Why.

Everyone need’s a why to make BIG changes and find the courage needed to do the things that we really desire deep down to do.

If you are an entrepreneur then a question that often get’s asked is just that,

‘What’s your why?”

Your why has to be strong enough to get you through the discomfort,

The fear,
The uncomfortable changes,
The struggles,
and the failures.

Yep the WHY has to be so strong that it forces you to BREATHE deep into your full capacity of BECOMING.

The why has to embody you.
It has to capture your heart.
Your soul.
And make you MOVE your ASS.

Without a strong why, then one just gives up.
We are more likely to allow life to over throw us and to steal our dreams.

On day’s like TODAY, I am reminded how lucky I am to have the WHY that I do.

I know that I am BLESSED.
My WHY is my children.

They are my HOME TEAM.

I know that many parents say that their why is their family.
And I am sure that it is.
It is a marvelous why to have.

Looking into the eye’s of your children and knowing that the reason you dare step out of your comfort zone and go against the grain of society, because the last thing you would ever want for them to do was to be, do or have a life that they were not fully turned on too or in love with.

Moment’s of laughter and joy with my kids make me grateful that I am among the lucky one’s who have chosen to create their own LUCK and not accept the bullsh*t structures of a life that is dictated to me, but a life that allows me to be present with my children, spend as much time as I want with them and be able to be there for the REALLY IMPORTANT moments.

Because the important moments are not just the school awards and graduations, or the sports tournaments or choir state finals.

No.
The important moments are the one’s where a child just needs a shoulder to cry on, a hug at the end of a rough day, a ear that can just listen, or some good laughs in the most unexpected times.

Every time I get to listen at midnight to my 18 year old son sit and share with me conspiracy theory thoughts and as he call’s it “geek talk,” I find myself smiling at my WHY.

Every time my 15 year old daughter casually shares with me her private life and asks permission to rebel, and we laugh about the fact that she is rebelling but asking for permission, I find myself smiling at my WHY.

Every time I go for frappuccino’s with my 12 year old son and he smiles and run’s to get the door for me as he is sharing his deep thoughts on world history or science, I find myself smiling at my WHY.

Every time I find myself being asked to throw water on the trampoline as my 5 year old son bounces happily naked as a jay bird and say’s, “Thank you madriella’s.” as he squeals with delight, I find myself smiling at my WHY.

Every time my 3 year old son, bats his big blue eye’s at me and throw’s his arms open wide as I am leaving to go to a client appointment or get on a coaching call, then pushes out his bottom lip and says, “Kissies, huggies.” I smile at my WHY.

Every time my 21 year old daughter, post’s some of her amazing photography work or breaks down and share’s a deep intimacy about what is troubling her and how hard adulting is, I smile at my WHY.

Every time my 22 year old daughter stands strong as the woman that she is, not letting the world bully her but instead commanding from it what she know’s she is worth and not letting go of her dream’s or who she TRULY is, I smile at my WHY.

Yes, this is my WHY.
This is my HOME TEAM.

I have been BLESSED to have had a Home Team since I was 19 in my life. Although, I would not recommend motherhood at a young age for most, perhaps not even for myself, as I had much growing up to do when my eldest was born. I would not change a moment of my life as the mother to these 7 soul’s.

My WHY is not to bless these soul’s with more money, a bigger house or better car’s. My why is not to show them what a responsible adult does and lives like. My why is not to show them that you sacrifice the life that longs to be lived inside you for the life that you are handed from your outside influences.

No.

My WHY, is to show my HOME TEAM who has supported me through the toughest of days, through home losses, relationship break ups, health issues, rape and even miscarriage and more.

That, living a courageous life,
A Life on Purpose.
A life unappologetically and true
is what living is about.

Life may blow it’s scary storms around you, but if you stand strong like a mountain it will not destroy you.

The storm of life can whip around and feel like it might over take you, it may have you consider sacrificing your heart and soul, but when you have a strong enough WHY you can bend as needed but not break like a willow tree.

My WHY is to see my children stand strong in who they truly are.
To be able to provide them with the support that they have given me and more.

My WHY is let them feel what unconditional love and acceptance really is.

My WHY is to show them a world that is here for them to enjoy.
My WHY is to show them that you can have YOUR DREAMS and still have your FAMILY.

My WHY is to ALWAYS show them that by just being YOU, that it is enough.

My WHY is to show them that we are each the CREATOR’S of our own destiny. That we are NOT victim’s to chance or fate, but that have FREE WILL and free will is the most powerful force when blended with self-love.

It will literally give you wings of courage to stand the storm of life and not just FLY above the clouds like and eagle, but to fly all the way into the heaven’s and find the peace, strength courage and guidance of God.

Yes, this is my WHY.
As any other mother on this planet would say.

My babies are my world, my delight and my WHY.

That is why I REFUSE to settle for AVERAGE & ORDINARY.
That is why I REFUSE to not listen to the call of my soul.
That is why I REFUSE to have my life dictated to me by the way’s of this world.
That is why I REFUSE to believe anything other than I was meant to live a F*ck YES! Life.

Just like my HOME TEAM was.
Just like YOU are too.

What is your WHY?

And remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living!

Want to learn more about living a freedom based life? A life that is ALL about your why? Check out my 1:1 coaching or courses NOW! Message me or fill out the APPLICATION today!

#fuckyeslife
#soulcrusader