NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR EVOLVING PAST PEOPLE’S COMFORT ZONES.

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR EVOLVING PAST PEOPLE’S COMFORT ZONES.

It’s challenging to stay the course of your truth.
Our human nature is to want to “fit in” and to be “normal.”
But that is not our soul course.

The soul desires truth, expansion and freedom.
We human’s get caught in our perceptions and ego and want to keep everything in a safe little container where it is easily explained, accepted and does not rattle the cages of our fellow human beings.

Here we feel normal and safe.
And when we see things differently,
we may feel guilty for our views and thoughts as they do not correspond to the majority. People will call us names, accuse of being crazy, nieve, under educated or even fear based.
They will shun and mock,
shame and want to contain you.
But this only show’s their uncomfort in your evolution.

When we step out on the limb of personal evolution we bring forth in other’s their lack of evolution,
we shine a bright light into their darkness and fears,
and by just being ourselves we make them question the reality that they have been raised to believe is truth.

The majority of people will step away from you at this moment.
They will tell you that they can no longer walk alongside you because of a difference of opinion,
because your views are too far out there,
because your lifestyle does not align to what they believe is right,
and that you should care that they are cutting you loose.

Many will argue with you in a pursuit to change your mind and educate you as to “WHAT IS” and want you to listen to their understanding and CHANGE so that you will be living in accordance to what they perceive ass truth,
thus allowing them to feel safe and right once again.

But I tell you this,
to limit your growth and hinder your evolution to make another comfortable will NEVER make you happy,
and it will not prevent people from walking away from you.

All it will ever accomplish is to limit your full potential and create a life that was not lived by soul guidance,
but instead by the judgements, opinions, ideas, and beliefs of others.

You own no one a reason,
and most certainly not an apology for being authentically you.

No matter your beliefs,
no matter your views and fears,
if they feel aligned and good,
if they build you up and make you happy,
then they are in YOUR SOUL ALIGNMENT.

And to be in soul alignment means that you are in alignment with the universe and God as well.

You will never feel good, happy or joyous about any other path.
All other paths will bring about fear, anxiety, frustration,
a desire to control others, hatred,
and have you sitting in your ego,
where you feel trapped by the ways of the world around you.

Our emotions are our GPS to our true path. To our most rewarding, abundant and happy state of living.

If you are happy,
truly happy,
then you know that you are in soul alignment,
and through your joy you will create the life of your dreams.

This will make others extremely uncomfortable though.
And this will pull many away from you.

As you walk in ease and flow,
as you show that you can be aware of the world as they perceive it without getting caught up in it,
and as you continue to thrive,
you will make them extremely uncomfortable,
and most will choose to criticize you,
attempting to break you back down to where they feel comfortable again.

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR EVOLUTION AND UNDERSTANDING OF THE LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE OR YOUR ABILITY TO BE AUTHENTICALLY YOU.

This is your life.

Live it for you.

Anything else is you giving your life to another,
and existing through their fears and wounds.

If you are reading this musing today then you are already awakening more to your divine nature,
you are starting to see clearly the truth of how our universe works,
and you are questioning your reality.
You have desires,
and you know that there is a power inside of you that wants to be unleashed.

I want you to know that all you need to to tap into that power is to start to say yes to you.

And thank those who turn away and challenge you,
be in gratitude for the naysayers,
they are revealing to you that you are stepping away from average and ordinary thinking and feeling,
they are showing you your evolution,
that you are rising above the norm and stepping into your power.

They are also showing you upfront if they are truly your tribe or not.

Those who evolve past the majority’s comfort zones are always perceived as crazy.

But all great leaders, game changers and visionaries over the course of human history have broken free from the common mindset of their time,
they did not look at the world through average and ordinary eyes.
They chose to be different,
because they knew somewhere inside of them that that was what they must do to achieve their soul’s happiness and do what they came here to do.

LIVE.

Today is your day love.
It’s time for you to step onto your path and say yes to your soul.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Message me for deet’s on how to claim your power and follow your GPS today. You are worthy of a life that is thriving.

It Takes Courage To Have An Authentic Relationship.

IT TAKES COURAGE TO HAVE AN AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIP.

 

I have this belief that ALL…

Yes ALL people who are in an intimate relationship with another need to go through the inquiry and inner work as well and relating work  that those who have successful open relationships do.

 

I believe that no matter how you label your relationship,

that you should explore authentic relating for what it really means.

 

Most monogamous couples “think” they know each other.

“Think” they love each other unconditionally.

“Think” they are best friends and trust each other.

“Think” they are doing it right and will have success.

 

Most people who decide to open up their relationships choose to do so at a low period in their primary relationship and “think” that opening up will fix something.

“Think” that you can just overnight shift gears and that this thing called inner work and couples work to set agreements, learn each other and communicate are not needed.

That you can go zero to 100 overnight so to speak.

 

Both cases are detrimental to the relationship.

And it’s because the number one issue in relationships is communication.

 

And I am sure you may be among the many who believes that you communicate well with your partner.

You may think that you got this fully taken care of ,

but I ask you, is this true?

 

98% of couples that I have worked with over the last 15+ years come in telling me that they are good if not great communicators,

that their partner is their bestie and they can tell them anything.

But not three sessions into coaching and the truth is discovered.

 

They suck at communication.

Because they keep it at a surface level.

There is no depth in relating.

And if they touch on depth,

it causes confrontation,

triggers old wounds and fears,

and both parties end up dancing in their ego’s and speaking from their pain bodies instead of their heart centers.

 

So they avoid it.

They shut their truth down,

they tell their partners a softer version or nothing at all,

and they hide the best they can from themselves for as long as they can as to not rock the perfect picture of a loving connected relationship that they are wanting to paint.

 

When the hard fact is that they have challenges.

 

It takes courage to speak up in a relationship.

It takes courage to be real in a relationship.

It takes courage to listen without trying to change, control or freak out about what might be being shared in a relationship.

It takes courage to remain stable inside yourself when living authentically with another.

And it takes courage to be raw and real with yourself so you can do all the above.

 

But f-ck is it worth it,

just like you are worth it and so is your relationship.

 

You see, if you are among the many who are not operating at this level of authentic relationship but desire open communication, unconditional love, acceptance, honesty and truth in the relationship and from your partner,

then how is it ever going to be possible if you live hiding from yourself and basing your feelings and actions in fear of losing your partner?

 

If you are making your partner responsible for your happiness and worthiness then how can they ever just be themselves and state their truth to you?

 

If you are holding expectations as to what they need to do, how they need to act then how can they share their truth with you about anything that may pose a difficult conversation? And how is this unconditional love?

 

If you define yourself based on your relationship,

which simply means you are not strong in WHO YOU ARE,

then how can you be truthful with another?

 

To be authentic, truthful and honest with another you first must KNOW YOURSELF and be strong at your core so you are not rocked by another.

 

Remember that humans are fickle.

We ebb and flow,

we all are live waves in our feelings, emotions, thoughts and that we get caught in our wounds as well as our desires.

 

In authentic relating we understand that

there is your business,

there is my business,

and there is God’s business,

and that we each are ONLY RESPONSIBLE for one of those.

Anything else is sticking our noses where they are not needed.

 

The most unconditional loving person is the person who knows themselves, loves themselves first, and can embrace their shadow self as well as their glorious light.

They know their worth and it is not dependent on any outside source.

 

This is a person who can love deeply and unconditionally.

This is a person who can truly be honest and real.

This is a person who is self-empowered and therefore has the ability to allow for their partner to grow, to speak, to change.

 

As it is so intended.

relationships need to evolve over time.

This means that both parties need to do the same.

 

Expecting ourselves, our partners or the relationship to remain the same,

causes stagnation to our individual growth and the evolution of our love and relationships.

This is the coward’s path.

And it typically results in two things:

*Unhappiness

*Relationship Failure

 

It takes courage to relate authentically.

It takes courage to relate in unconditional love.

It takes courage to catch our control issues in a relationship.

It takes courage to see our fear based actions, feelings and thoughts for what they are… fear of our own inadequacies, fear of our worthiness and lack of value, the lack of personal acceptance cast onto our partner, and fear of abandonment.

 

But when we stand in courage and face our truth,

love ourselves through our fears,

we open the gates to deep, penetrative love and acceptance with our partner.

 

And THIS….

THIS is what we all crave and desire.

 

You are worthy of this beauty.

You are worthy of this sort of love.

 

Offer it to yourself and your partner today,

by starting with seeing YOURSELF authentically and leaning into those difficult conversations.

 

Reach out to me if you want information on how to go about just this and more.

Learn authentic relating no matter your relationship title to create an evolved loving relationship that fits your soul’s path now.

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

They Are Called Your Emotions For A Reason.

THEY ARE CALLED YOUR EMOTIONS FOR A REASON.

 

Truth Bomb Here.

Are you like most of the world that believe that others are responsible for your emotional state,

for the feelings that YOU are having about any subject in your life?

 

Or are you self-aware enough and proactive enough to understand that they are YOUR emotions, meaning that YOU and only you are responsible for them.

 

No one else can make you feel any way.

You get to choose how you feel about something.

You get to choose how you react to something.

You CHOOSE.

 

This is by far one of the most challenging things to grasp in life,

We are taught that we need to act, speak and even think through everything in ways to not harm or cause anyone else to feel bad.

We are told that we are not good enough,

that we are too much,

that we are RESPONSIBLE for how others feel about themselves,

about situations and how they perceive us.

 

And yes,

to a degree we are responsible.

Our actions and words most certainly can trigger other’s into a negative or positive spiral.

Our actions do contribute to how we are perceived.

 

But we are not solely responsible for another’s feels, views or perceptions.

 

We each have an ability to be proactive in our thinking,

which leads to us being proactive in our feeling,

and to pause before we assume anything.

 

Becoming self-aware means to become authentic with self.

It means that we are willing to get real and raw with ourselves, and to acknowledge that anothers words or actions have only triggered an old program or wound,

and once triggered that we are now feeling this old emotion as though it is current.

 

The insecurities that we hold about ourselves,

the hatred that we have for ourselves,

the self- judgement, and shame…

All of these play a role in our emotions that can get triggered by an event or person.

 

But these internal landscapes that we all have,

are not another’s responsibility to cautiously thread through.

It is each of our own responsibility to self and to our lives,

to do the deep personal work to heal and become aware of.

 

If we do not do our own inner work,

then we are destined to walk through life feeling disempowered,

feeling a victim,

not understood and always attacked.

We will continue to view life as though we have no control and point fingers in blame at those we love,

at life experiences,

our governments, churches, schools, work.

 

However, when we choose to get real with self,

to practice self- love, healthy boundaries, knowing our desire’s, speaking our truth and RELEASING OURSELVES from the responsibility of everyone else’s feelings,

as well as taking responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings and actions,

we become EMPOWERED.

 

By doing this, we walk through life with less shame, guilt, blame, judgement on self or others and we approach life from a healthier state of relating.

 

We can now speak in confidence our needs,

state clearly our yes and no and also accept another’s

without falling into an old wound or fear and needing to control an outcome.

 

We release the world and especially our loved one’s from the driver’s seat of our lives.

 

They are called your emotions for a reason.

They are all your’s.

 

And when we had them over to someone else,

we hold an expectation that the other person will and “should” always put us before them.

 

And if they do not,

then we are hurt and feel as though they do not love us, that they are selfish and heartless,

that we are not safe with them.

 

When in fact,

what we are asking for by turning over our power to another,

by making them responsible for our emotions is what is self-centered.

 

And if the other does always hold us before them,

guarding us and never letting us feel any uncomfort,

then what they are doing is hiding themselves from us.

The relationship is NOT authentic.

We have successfully required this other person, to mute themselves, change who they are, pretend at all cost and hide from us and themselves,

so that we can feel secure.

 

How is this love?

How is this respect?

How is this authentic relating?

 

 

It’s NOT.

 

Life is a risk.

24/7 you risk if you are breathing.

 

Security…

Safety…

It’s an illusion.

 

Love is risky.

And you can choose to lean into it and enjoy its bliss however long it lasts,

or you can shut it down and try and control it so that you can live in a mirage for however long it lasts.

One allows for growth and truth.

The other, causes bitterness and wounds that may never get repaired between people.

 

Which do you choose?

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn how you can move into a truly authentic, loving relationship and heal the wounds of your past so you can have a F-ck Yes life and relationship?

 

Message me today for deet’s on global and local coaching now.

 

Who Have You Chosen To Be?

WHO HAVE YOU CHOSEN TO BE?
This is a question I believe that we all need to ask of ourselves.
Especially at this time in our world.
On my left thumb I wear a ring with Ghandi’s quote,
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Imagine if we all came at life from this perspective that Ghandi shared so many years ago?
Imagine we started to ask,
are we spreading love and compassion, understanding and grace or are we spreading fear, hatred, control and darkness to our fellow humans and this beautiful world of ours?
How would our actions change?
How would we start to view ourselves and others?
How would we feel about who we were?
It’s always a choice.
Each of us no matter our backgrounds, have choices.
We all have the ability to change what we are thinking and how we are relating.
We all have the ability to be proactive or reactive.
We all have the choice to be kind and act, speak and feel from a place of love (God, soul) or to cast out evil from our lips and actions while swimming in a pool of negative based thinking.
These things NO ONE,
NO GOVERNMENT,
Nothing can steal from us.
And if we started to come at life from this perspective instead of the control based thinking out of fear of others not doing what we deem right or wrong,
or our fear of losing,
or our fear of not having enough,
or being too much,
then perhaps we would actually see the changes in the world that we want so badly for.
Because what are we all wanting for truly?
*Happiness
*Health and wellbeing
*Safety
*Community
*Peace
*Love
*Abundance
*No suffering
But here we are,
fearing that we will not have these things and hating on our neighbours and family if they think or feel differently then we do.
And as we sit in our hatred and fear,
throwing stones at each other and wanting to be understood,
refusing to listen to each other or feel how desperately our fellow human is only wanting for the same as us,
just saying it from their vantage point,
we become part of the problem.
We feed the fear.
We feed the hatred.
We feed the separation.
We feed the hell that is rising up that we all are so terrified of.
And as we fear it we attract more of it into our world and lives.
And as we stand in our fear,
on all sides of the coin of difference,
each side proclaiming they believe, they have faith, they are focused on the truth, that the truth will set them free, etc, etc….
What are we actually focused on?
Who are we choosing to be in these moments?
People of FAITH?
People of COMPASSION and KINDNESS?
People with OPEN MINDS?
People that are SOUL ALIGNED?
People who LOVE THEMSELVES? or others?
People who believe in FREEDOM?
Or are we faithless, fearful, control hungry, out of alignment, closed minded, hateful, judgemental, critical, and thinking that freedom can only be served up according to our rules and guidelines or its not right?
I write this message today to ask you to inquire within yourself these questions and to be honest with yourself.
You will NEVER know the truth until you can find it within first, and this means that you have to love yourself enough to embrace your shadows and get vulnerable in who you really are and that you are fearful.
Because we all have fear right now.
We are all blind in some way.
We are all lost to a degree.
And in shock.
But warring has never made any problem go away.
It has only made the fire bigger.
And this fire has been burning for centuries already.
It is the problem of fear.
It is a tool that controls our spirit and separates us from our truth,
from our worthiness and ability to see clearly and love unconditionally.
Who are you choosing to be?
And where are your thoughts taking you?
Be the change you wish to see in this world by starting with loving yourself first.
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

THIS is My Tagline To Life and HERE IS WHY.

“CBD lovin’, anti-vaxxing, interracial family, sexually open and confident, slutty AF some may say, freedom focused, excepting of all.”

 

THIS is my lifestyle tagline.

THIS is my family tagline.

THIS is my belief’s tagline.

 

And why would this be my tag line?

Because I believe in freedom of speach, love, sex, religion,choices in life and believe that no matter who you are, ( race, religion, polical views, sex, sexual preferences, economic standing or other) that WE ARE ALL WORTHY.

 

Worthy of what you may ask?

 

Worthy of  living.

Not just existing.

Worthy of all the things stated above.

Worthy of having our own opinions.

Worthy of not being shamed or stoned by others ideas, judgements, opinions or fears.

Worthy of just being us.

 

Many disagree with me on many topics.

And the thing that comes through the most in the conversations and debates is a desire to shush me.

To the point that recently I was multiple times told that I was a bad citizen for my views, that I was not compassionate and did not care for others, that I was a horrible human being, that I should shut up, and that if I get sick to not waste the medical systems time but to just die at home.

 

All of these statements came because of a disagreement in ideas and beliefs.

 

Differences of views.

 

All of these stones thrown had the strong feeling of wanting to shame, control and silence what did not align to their beliefs and views of current.

 

And as I read through comments of over a hundred plus,

I found myself sitting in gratitude for these individuals’ truth shares.

 

I am not a person that has an issue with seeing things differently then the masses,

differently then my lover, my child or my friend.

And I know that my views on life are a far cry from average and ordinary.

 

And it is beautiful to me that we humans are so diverse in our desires, our feelings and beliefs.

It’s what makes us each so unique.

But typically we deeply fear what is not like us.

What is not common or what we perceive as normal.

Our fear makes us want to eradicate whatever is not perceived the same as us.

 

And this has been our human nature forever.

The reason I do not lay claim to a religion is because religion is a prime example of this belief structure that there is ONLY ONE WAY.

 

I believe that we are all truly children of God no matter our race, belief, sex or preferences.

I believe that the creator moves through us all.

And that our differences are revealing how diverse God truly is.

I believe that “made in his image” does not refer to our race, sex or other but is actaully speaking of the energy, the life and consciousness, the love that resides in all of us.

 

I believe that we are each here to learn from one another and that one of our biggest life lessons is to learn to love our differences.

 

The only way that we can ever do this though is to learn to love ourselves at a deep level first.

To strip ourselves from this concept that we are here to please others ideas, views or beliefs about us.

Self-love comes from seeing our light and darkness and making peace with them both.

Self- love comes from knowing our own value.

Self- love comes from respecting ourselves enough to not sway to the worlds ideas and perceptions, nor to just give up ourselves because we make another uncomfortable with our views and beliefs.

Self- love is mandatory if we are to ever have true unconditional love for any other human as well.

And compassion can only come when we have it for ourselves first.

Same for any positive characteristic that we value such as respect or understanding.

 

If we believe that we are responsible for everyone elses everything and they for our feelings, fears and hopes then all we are showing is our lack of clarity within who we are.

 

To have understanding,

we need to listen,

we need to inquire,

we need to learn to breathe and not be so reactive,

jumping to conclusions.

We need to realize that this person that we want to have understand us,

desires the same.

The majority of our fights in our world and in our own homes comes about because we suck at communication skills.

And the ones listed above are the highlighted ones that need attention from all of us.

 

The radical conversations that are traveling around the world right now are just highlighting the true poison that resides within each of our lives.

 

It is fear.

And it is fear of differences more than anything else.

And so we run around pointing fingers and laying blame on everyone who thinks differently or looks differently proclaiming that we love unconditionally, stating that we are wanting peace, freedom, well being for all but continuing the blame game as we spew out our hatred and lack of toleration or desire to understand our fellow human beings.

 

All the while believing that we love ourselves and that is why we are fighting and hating.

 

When we speak such poison as some of the things I have heard the last few weeks it saddens my soul at how many people truly are lost within themselves and hold so much anger and hatred.

 

When we can get to a point where we can agree to disagree and still love our fellow human despite the difference,

then we will be in a place where we can heal and make true change in our world as well as in our communities and home.

 

But this will only happen when we can learn to love ourselves deeply. To look within ourselves and love all our flaws, all our sins, all our wounds as well as our beauty.

 

Until then,

we will remain lost and hateful.

 

To freedom.

To love.

To all our beautiful differences.

 

Be the change, start loving unconditionally today, ‘starting with yourself.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn more about self-love practices that can transform your reality from average and ordinary to a F-ck Yes Life? Message me today.

 

Throne-tood! – Get Some.

Throne-tood!

It’s a THING.

And it’s a thing that you gotta get some of if you want to have the life that you claim that you want.

 

We have been raised to have shame over loving ourselves.

We have been raised to believe that it is wrong or even bad to think highly of ourselves,

or to brag.

And it is “selfish” ( meaning bad) to ask for what we want, need or desire.

 

But instead the correct path to happiness is to look like this so we have been raised to believe…

 

Talk like shit about yourself,

hate on your body,

on your thoughts,

in your life.

 

Be SUPER effing critical about everything and never admit to your glory.

 

Downplay everything good and hype up everything that is not perfect in your life.

 

Make sure that you are NEVER offending everyone else,

because YOU….

yes you are  responsible for everyone else’s feelings, ideas, perceptions, thoughts and actions,

so make sure to never mess up or have an opinion that does not match whomever you are with.

 

Put others before yourself at all costs.

Exhaust yourself and keep giving,

but don’t bitch that you are at your breaking point.

 

Suck it up.

Don’t show your emotions,

any of them but “blase.”

Indifference is the best path,

even if it’s not true.

 

Your anger,

your sadness,

your joy,

hide because it is too effing much for the world around you.

 

Fear everything.

And know that you are most likely at fault for the crap no matter what,

and if it’s not you then feel offended instantly,

if anyone says different or God forbid

goes against all of these rules of how to live a happy successful life.

 

And just be happy with it already,

‘cus this baby is what life is all about.

 

This is living the dream.

This is success.

 

F-cking crazy as all hell is’nt it?

I mean when I write it out  like that,

unless you are blind, dumb and stupid,

then you have to admit that anyone who actually thinks or feels this way is NEVER going to be thriving,

going to experience success or empowerment,

never going to feel confident.

Most likely only be used and hurt frequently,

will have a crappy backbone,

will not know themselves or anyone else for that matter,

and will simply not ever touch happiness.

 

So what is the answer?

 

Get a f-cking THRONE-TOOD!

 

There I said it.

It is high time that you started to value yourself.

Claiming your life, ‘calling in your blessings,

being a conscious co-creator,

manifesting a life that is full of wonder, love and success,

REQUIRES YOU TO PUT YOUR CROWN ON.

 

 

As long as you keep disrespecting God’s glory and power and not allowing his power and will to move through your life,

then you will keep falling prey to this stinking thinking love.

 

As long as you keep believing that God wants you to walk looking down at the ground,

tripping in misery over all that you have lost and ignoring the joy that your life could be,

then you will never feel the wonder of walking with you head held high,

your eyes meeting others in unconditional love and acceptance,

or the witnessing of the miracles that happen daily,

IN YOUR LIFE.

 

As long as you keep being available for scarcity,

and never picking up that crown that God has handed you,

then you will continue to suffer by your own hand.

 

And you will forever remain a slave to the enemy known as fear.

 

Oh, beautiful, don’t you see the path that you are too walk.

Can you not feel the call in your soul?

 

Now in our world we need more than ever before for you to RISE UP….

SPEAK UP…

LIGHT UP….

 

But that means that you have to accept that many who choose to remain in darkness and pain will be disgusted by your choice.

 

They will call you names,

they will hate on you and shame you,

they will want to tear you down in any way they can,

and they will make you doubt your path.

 

It will require you to have courage,

to love yourself more than you thought possible and to walk in FAITH.

 

And if you choose to step away from the many who still remain in fear,

if you choose to instead embrace your power,

and the love that the universe/God has for you,

then your life will be one of bliss and glory.

 

And THAT…

THAT is what we are each to do.

That is how we celebrate life,

honor God,

and THRIVE.

 

Are you ready, love?

Are you ready to finally say F-ck Yes! to yourself and your dreams and stop making excuses and sharing the thousands of reasons as to why you cannot do/be/have?

But instead just step firmly in faith on this path before you that is calling you?

 

Are you ready to stop giving your power just lip service but acting in faith on it?

 

I can tell you that many people say they are light workers,

they claim to be abundant,

they proclaim their faith,

and they say they believe in magic and miracles,

they even proudly state that they get manifesting and that they are powerful manifestors….

 

and they are.

For sure.

 

But, if you are struggling,

if you are suffering,

if you are feeling lost, tired and lonely…

 

Then baby, you are not really claiming your crown.

If you are not happy, (truly)

then you still have not figured it out,

and it YOU that this is written for.

It is you that need to KNOW YOUR WORTH.

 

It’s time to pick that crown up and have a THRONE-TOOD….

Because the life that you want for DEMANDS IT!

 

So Get One.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to step forward and say yes to your crown love?

Ready to stop being available for suffering, pain and misfortune?

 

Let’s speak today about no more reasons and excuses,

and get that crown picked up and put where it rightfully goes.

 

Message for deet’s.

Let’s Get Real About What Define The Relationship Really Means.

 

“I like you pretty good, let’s see where this goes.”

 

Maybe I have commitment issues some would say,

and I have been told this from past lovers.

They were convinced that because I refused to be labeled,

because I refused to DTR ( define the relationship) that I was not good with commitment.

 

They could not just accept my looks of love and desire for what they were.

They could not accept the sweet and tender vulnerable moments shared for what they were,

They could not just go with the passion shared and the hours and days or even weeks spent enthralled with each other.

 

No, they wanted the MF LABEL.

And for some reason, the label is what made everything real.

Not the actual effing relationship that was presenting itself each day, each moment.

No, they could not trust that.

They needed the words spoken,

just how they wanted to hear them too mind you,

for it to actually be real.

 

Nothing mattered but the label.

 

And because I am a person who understands what labels are actually about,

I have a really tough time getting down with defining any relationship for that matter.

 

And here is why.

 

You see labels and definitions of relationships have NOTHING to do with love or commitment for that matter.

 

They don’t have anything to do with trust either,

and they are not offering any more security for either party as well.

 

What they do is allow us to compartmentalize the relationship, cause separation because now we segregate this relationship from the rest of our lives.

 

Labels allow us to define what the relationship “should” look and feel like. How it “should” play out and what the expectations are within the pretty little box that we have put it into allows for.

 

Labels are often asked for because one party or both are wanting validation for their existence and level of importance in the relationship.

 

This validation gives a false sense of security.

Which makes the partners feel safe and believe that NOW since the relationship has been properly defined that neither party will step out of the box that it has been filed in.

 

And that is what DTR is all about folks.

Validation of self through another, false security and control.

 

Because with this DTR what we are wanting is the safety ultimately of knowing ( well believing) that our partner is now “OUR PROPERTY” as defined by the label provided.

And of course they are down with abiding by the rules of this definition.

 

Funny little note, most people just assume that other people’s definitions and rules of the label are exactly what their own are and never stop to discuss these important things with the person that they are trying to do a relationship with and get a label on.

 

In my opinion,

(and maybe…. just maybe… I have worked with just a few couples over the last few decades) that one of the major reasons so many couples are not satisfied or in full alignment with their partner is because they miss this vitally important conversation on the front side.

 

The conversation around, “Why do you do relationships? And what are your needs/desires/expectations within a relationship?”

 

Can you imagine if we started having these inquiries between ourselves and our lovers?

 

And what if….

what if our lovers answered authentically.

 

OMFG! That would be amazing.

But often because so many have limited worth and self- esteem issues,

they find themselves needing to feel safe through the validation of their partner instead and therefore answer accordingly to get the result that they want from their partner instead of being truthful and having a truly intimate conversation around their differences.

 

All relationships at some point come to a place where the definition sorta just manifests organically.

But it is an energy that a couple will grow into as time and depth in the relationship is established,

not some words stated because partners feel pressure from what they have been told is important to ask for come date three or month six, or whatever the f-ck timeline you are working on.

 

If you are among the many people out there that feels that need the label to lean and trust more,

or to not have your jealousy anymore,

or to be able to be more vulnerable or intimate with your partner,

and believes that the label is a sign of love,

then you truly need to explore what your definition of love really is about.

 

And ask yourself if this label is truly what you are wanting or if you are actually requesting to set up agreements with your partner as to what your relationship rules are and are not.

 

Then ask yourself how this desire to label and set up these tidy little box homes for your relationship to get cramped in is actually serving the relationship or your supposed love for this other person?

 

What if you became extremely present with your partner and chose to focus on all their good traits each time you were together?

 

What if instead of fearing them doing something that might destroy the relationship, you chose to commit to look for how well they are showing up in it right now and how much beauty you are enjoying with them right now?

 

What if you opted to actually practice authentic unconditional love with them and just wanted to enjoy them in all their radiance because your desire for them was to be that person who can hold loving space without a need to contain their soul and own them?

 

What if you chose to just allow them to be them and you to be you?

 

What if you choose consciously to come into the relationship each new day as though it was a new relationship that you were excited and appreciative of?

 

What if you started to define your relationship by saying,

” I like you pretty good, let’s see where this goes.”

 

Can you imagine how much more depth, love, compassion, witnessing, love, trust, and joy would come through your partner and the relationship?

 

Or continue on your path,

you know the one.

The one that has you believing that controlling your partner and defining your relationship and owning them as property in any f-cking fashion is LOVE.

 

And enjoy all the trauma that creates and the broken expectations and pain.

 

Because that is the result when we attempt to control the human spirit and not allow others to live authentically.

 

Not to mention,

When we do this it is only supporting our fear and at our core we feel the out of alignment that is caused with God and our soul.

 

Level Up Your Love Now.

 

And Remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to level up your relationship or learn more on authentic relating skills that can rekindle, ignite and bring average relationships into Enlightened?

 

Reach out to me about my Passion Coaching for Couples Program today.

Looking For A Reason To Just F-cking Be You? Here is the Answer Luv.

I absolutely HATE being controlled.
I dislike having to seek approval from another to just f-cking be me.

You know what I mean?

How do you feel about that?
Needing validation from another to be/do/have the things in your life that you just want.
That you enjoy.
That makes your life yours.
That make you,
you?

But this is how we live out our lives.
We run around seeking for validation,
which is just another way of saying that we are asking for others permission to live our life,
or to be us.

And that has ALWAYS seemed a bit crazy to me.
10 year old Kendal, did not want to do this.
16 year old Kendal, certainly did not want to do this,
to the point that I found away to get homeschooled when homeschool was not a thing.
20 year old Kendal, figuring out the adulting thing did not enjoy this and quit her job because of this.
34 year old Kendal hated it so much that she left her husband for it.
And today,
well yeah… that shiz just don’t fly.

I still hate being controlled,
if you want me to do something,
control me in the opposite and I am sure to move the direction away from the control ( unless I see the manipulation and that is a totally different story),
But in truth what I dislike is not so much the control, but having to do what I don’t want to do.

I do not like having to do things that do not feel good to me for where I am at RIGHT NOW.

If it feels good and in alignment,
THEN SIGN ME THE F-CK UP!

If not then know I will change directions on you so quick your head will spin.
And I have been guilty of this all my life.
I have been called naive,
I have been told that I am flighty and flaky,
that I have commitment issues,
that I am lost.

The reality is far simpler than any of these options,
the truth is, I know, like I have always known that if I am not a F-ck Yes! to it then why do it.
And I change gears based on my authentic yes or no to something.

Sometimes that means that I cancel things.
Sometimes that means that I say I am going to get something done and then I do something else.
Sometimes it means that I have to own where I am at that I simply am no longer in alignment to whatever it was that I had agreed too.

And I get that the world does not like it when people operate on these sort of guidelines that I do.,
I understand that it goes compleletly against what we are taught.

But it works.
And for those of us out there that are self learners and thinkers,
that know beyond a doubt that our feelings and thoughts are what create our reality, that are not average and ordinary,
well guess what?

This is often what you will get.

What is often perceived as:

*IRRESPONSIBLE
*IRRATIONAL
*CHAOTIC
*NIEVE
*FLIGHTY
*FLAKY
*COMMITMENT ISSUES
*ATTITUDE
*SELFISH

Because we get that what makes us feel good,
that living according to our souls calling and being fully in alignment to that,
is ALL the F-ck that matters.

We get that being selfish is where it is at.
Because selfishness is not evil,
What is evil is living in fear and scarcity.
That is not of God.

We understand that yes it takes courage to live like this, because the world has not been raised to handle our kind,
the world focused on the sheeple mentality,
the mentality of keeping you in fear and scarcity.
On the concept that you are to put EVERYONE before you and that some effing way THIS will bring you joy, happiness and all your heart desires,
But don’t you ask for anything because that’s wrong.
Think of others ALWAYS first.

Drain yourself.
Take from self until you have nothing more to give.
Until your vessel is so empty you are lost.

This is what you are here for.

And that is all wrong I tell you.

God does not want you living in fear and scarcity.
God wants you to be wanting.
It is in your wanting that the universe expands and evolves,
it is through you that we all grow.

And if you fall prey to the concept that living your life based on the permission of someone else is what you are to do,
that validating yourself through the ideas, beliefs and desires of another is what you are here for,
to be servant to them and cast yourself aside,
then well baby you are simply wrong.

You can never fill another’s glass from your empty pitcher.

This means you MUST approach life from a more selfish manner and learn how to take care of you.

You say that you want to manifest all this abundance,
the love and connection,
the freedom and opportunities,
you say that you want to be able to make a massive impact on the world,
to touch lives,
to help others heal,
or to lead the people in your life to a happy way of being.

Well then you gotta quit on this concept of living from the permission of others.

You will NEVER know your own worthiness or value if you rely on somelese to tell it to you.

If you are looking for the pat on the head from another to tell you that you are on the right path or doing good,
needing that validation,
then you will forever fall for whatever someone else deems acceptable for your life.

Sad but true.

Cuz’ you see baby,
it’s all up to you loving you enough to stop the crazy concept that you need validated and permission for being you.

You were born worthy luv.
You were.
But you gotta accept that.
And it starts with you knowing that by doing all the damn things that you keep doing that you hate,
that makes you feel like shit about yourself,
that makes you fear,
that causes you separation from your truth,
is the culprit to the suffering and void that you feel.

You must start living according to you.
For you.

And no one else.

You see when you feel those negative emotions,
you know,
shame
guilt
anger
jealousy
bitterness
fear
loss
confusion
prejudice
blame
suffering

those emotions are ONLY there to tell you one MF thing.

YOU ARE NOT IN YOUR TRUTH.
YOU ARE NOT LIVING ACCORDING TO YOUR SOUL.
YOU ARE OUT OF ALIGNMENT WITH GOD.

These are not you and they are not for you,
that is why you are feeling like shit baby.

But you have to start interpreting these emotions correctly in order to navigate yourself the right direction.

You must realize that you are here to want and desire.
You are here to love.
You are here to experience.
You are here to connect.
You are here to share.
You are here to BE YOU.

And if you can get this point, ‘then you join the 0.01% of the world that gets it.

You join those of us who are THRIVING and LIVING as intended.

And if you continue to choose otherwise,
but expect different results,
well let’s just say that, that might be kind of silly, right?

Because as long as you keep doing your stinking thinking and needing someone else to validate your existence for you then you will remain unhappy and lost and most likely not very successful in many subject areas of your life.

And I don’t want that for you.
I believe you are worthy.
That we all are worthy.

And that God wants you to THRIVE.

But you have to believe it too.
And want it.
And have the COURAGE to claim it.

SAY AMEN OR YES IN THE COMMENTS IF YOU WANT TO CLAIM THAT LIFE OF YES FOR YOU NOW.

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Let’s get you saying yes to you once and for all .
You can have it.
You can.
Message me for deet’s on my coaching opportunities available worldwide now.

Watch: HUSTLE ENERGY! This is where the MAGIC is.

The Land Of Nobody…

Good Morning Beautiful!

How did you sleep?

Were your slumbers restful and pleasant or did they have you tossing in your bed?

 

Did you wake refreshed, vibrant and charged for this day or are you among the many of the walking dead,

those who cannot bear the idea of waking because it’s just another groundhog day?

 

Day in and day out,

the same events,

the same stories,

the same people.

 

Waking with a feeling of “why?”

And does any of it,

Especially me, even matter?

 

Looking about your life and questioning if anyone truly cares.

Or are they only there for what you have to offer,

at their convenience.

 

Yes, you know that feeling.

That feeling of,

“Nobody sees me. Nobody loves me. Nobody cares.”

 

This beautiful is the Land of Nobody.

 

And it is not a pretty place to reside.

It is not a place that you can manifest your dreams from,

it will never call into your life your ideal lover,

the money that you crave for,

the health or success.

It will never bear the fruit of happiness.

Because  you see beautiful,

the Land of Nobody,

is a fictitious land that you have created your misery from.

It is a land that you have bought into,

because it is what you feel comfortable in.

 

Oh yes,

I just said that beautiful.

 

The Land of Nobody is one that brings you comfort.

That is a hard pill to swallow I know.

But it is so true.

Just as true as it is that this land will not bring you what you claim you want for,

and most certainly will not bring you what your soul is calling you toward,

and you see THAT is exactly why you are feeling so lost in yourself,

so alone,

so unloved,

so fearful,

so unseen,

unheard,

uncared for or valued.

 

And it is from this place of “UN” that you keep calling in the evidence to support your comfort in suffering.

 

You feel all the “UN” because IT IS NOT TRUE.

 

Your soul KNOWS differently.

Your soul see’s who you really are and what your life has to offer,

but you are withholding yourself from all your glory by focusing in on the finding of the evidence,

the proving to yourself and anyone who will listen,

that you are in the Land of Nobody wants me.

 

And the sad truth beautiful is that as long as you sit here,

focused on the “UN” and the nobody with such passion,

you will NEVER be able to “fix” the problem of what you are manifesting.

 

You will never feel loved.

You will never feel valued.

You will never feel wanted.

 

From this space.

And you will certainly not attract anyone into your world that will “MAKE YOU” feel that way.

 

Because you have created and keep creating a great momentum around not having it show up for you,

that even when the universe/God sends things into your life,

to show you how abundant and loved you really are,

you reject them by looking the other way,

or pushing your will onto life in an attempt to control it and “make it” happen,

thus supporting your need to show that you can’t have it without a fight.

 

Your belief is that life is hard.

That you must suffer.

That you have to work hard to get things that you want.

Your belief is that life is out to get you in some fashion and does not have your back.

 

But that belief is just a thought that you keep active by focusing on finding evidence for it.

 

You “think” it is such and therefore it is.

But you have to change the thoughts in your head,

and the way you are feeling about your life.

You have the WAKE THE F-CK UP.

And start witnessing what could be by putting your focus on that and then not trying to force it into existence.

 

God/Universe does not like being controlled like that,

Does not like having its hands tied,

and if you keep tieing them then you will keep getting what you have been,

because what you want for gets offered day in and day out,

opportunities to have it knock at your door,

but you keep your door locked up tight not allowing the Universe/God to reveal to you your value, your worthiness.

 

So if you won’t let the energy that has created universes to show you a brilliant life worth living and enjoying,

and all your dreams manifesting,

then how the f-ck do you ever expect the people in your life to show it to you?

 

YOU BEAUTIFUL have to open up to it.

You are the only one who can access any of it.

Putting your needs and desires onto others and then getting mad that they won;t do what you want,

when you want,

how you want,

is a self-centered, spoiled, egotistical action.

And will only keep providing you with not having.

 

So if you are among the millions who woke up today,

focused on not having what you want in life,

feeling like you are unloved,

unappreciated,

“UN” somethinged….

 

Then this message is directed at you.

Because I fully understand that feeling of “UN”

that feeling of walking around the Land of Nobody,

and I can tell you that no solution or joy ever came from this place.

 

And we each may venture into this land every now and then,

but it is up to us,

and ONLY US,

venture right back out.

 

So take back your power beautiful,

stop handing it over to the ebbs of your life,

stop looking to not be supported,

and instead KNOW that you are with certainty.

Know that you are loved,

because you love yourself enough to wake the f-ck up and feel it for yourself,

you love yourself enough to stop disrespecting your life,

and instead to open up to it and receive its glory.

 

 

You are worthy beautiful.

You are loved.

You are appreciated and valued.

 

Venture In Certainty for what you want not what you fear.

 

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

Let’s do this!

You and me,

this summer.

Break free from your shiz once and for all and fall in love with the dynamic, powerhouse that YOU are.

No one is like you.

And you have a life worth sharing,

worth enjoying.

You have one life love.

One.

Let’s make it a F-ck Yes! One NOW.

Message me for deet’s on how to do this.

The Seemingly Meaningless Things.

Today I stayed in my nighty till 1pm.

Why? Because that’s what felt good for this moment.

Seems like a who the eff cares sorta thing, right?

Cuz’ it does not ultimately effect anything.
But that’s not true.

It effects everything.
Because its all about my vibe.
About how I am feeling right now.

The other day I was out at my community pool…
(And f-ck yes! We are happy our community is opening back up.)
And the water 💧 was so freaking cold.
My youngest two kids were yelping for me to get in the water and play and I was really not wanting too.
Willing yes.
But wanting…. not so much 😕.
I did want them to be happy.
I wanted to enjoy a fun moment with them.
But as I ventured into the cold depths of the pool I felt my body tense. My limbs tightened,
My heart  starting beating faster and I found myself holding my breath.

I was now constricting my energy.
I was withholding my truth.
I was locking myself up.
And I felt frustrated that I was in this coldness.
My ego instantly started to play its games with me…

“You need to smile and bear this, don’t let them see your pain, frustration, or lack of wanting to be here.”

“You have to do this.”
“F-ck! This is too cold. Wish they did not want to do this.”

And my emotion to these statements?

Bitterness.
Frustration.
Shut down.

And as I got splashed, and jumped on,
I grew sad because my body was hurting.
And I was feeling trapped.
I was feeling like I had no choice or that if I stated my truth that I would upset my loved ones.

Which was NOT the emotion that I started this afternoon with.
It was however the emotion I was choosing for this moment,
By the actions I was allowing myself to take that I was not a 💯 percent too.
And so….
I also, in this action 🎬 allowed my vibe 😎 to totally be changed.

And if left unacknowledged,
And consistent action to follow where I chose to what perhaps I was willing to do,
But not willing,
Then my mood would stay low vibe.
My emotions would be darker, full of blame,
Irritation, and…
My energy…
It would remain constricted like my body was feeling from the 🥶 cold.
I would remain tense to life.
Tense to my desires.
Tense to those I am around and love.
Tense to my truth.

And then you know what 😳 happens?

I end up magnitizing and manifesting more things into my life that cause me to remain constricted.

More things that I may be WILLING to do…
But am not WANTING to do.

And so instead of living this life the way I enjoy 😉 the most,
Which is in ease and flow,
With tons of laughter, play, connection, joy, love, abundance of good shit…

I would shut it all out.
Granted my little tale to you today is only that…
A tale.
It was a flicker of thought and emotion that went through my being and announced the path that I was potentially stepping on.
But I recognized it.
I saw what those seemingly meaningless thoughts and emotions were saying.

And so I got my booty out of the 🥶 cold.
I went and did what felt good.
Laying in the 🌞 sun.

And my week has been gentle with me.
Full of what I enjoy.

It could have been different.
And often people come to me with a desire to live their f-ck yes life, and they want to know HOW 🤔.

It always comes down to these seemingly meaningless moments.

These thoughts and emotions that are left uncensored,
And how they will lead us astray.

So if my tale speaks to you today.
Here is your HOW.
Here is what you MUST start to realize.
And what is most important.

Do what you enjoy.
Don’t be led astray by what you “think” you need to do to appear a certain way to anyone else,
Or to make someone else happy,
Especially if you are a F-CK NO!

Time to get really baby.
Time to know your truth.
Its with you always,
You just have to listen and act from there.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

Let’s do this thing luv.
You and me.
Stepping into who you really are and claiming your F-ck Yes!Life now.

Message me for deets.